#but bette's such a ridiculous BIG mess i have to feel sorry for her again

[farminglesbian]

so, tibette… we’ve had the iconic table flip and “did you fuck all night before you told her i was the love of your life” and bette being a jerk and not staying away when tina wanted to get her stuff from the house, and jane lynch the sassy solicitor and bette being an absolute mess alone, but this now… hurts.

damn you jennifer beals and your shiny eyes and tear-streaked cheeks and whispery soft voice

[thesecretfandom]

No Guts No Glory -- Bughead

Word Count: 1,721

Rated: E

A/N: Jughead may have taken their pumpkin carving competition a bit too far, and now it's Betty's job to get the both of them cleaned up. One in a short series of Halloween One Shots I hope to release this week. (Read on AO3)

Betty loved this time of year. The sun was setting a little earlier, and everything felt just a little cozier.  She and Jughead would cuddle up in front of the TV every night to watch another one of their favorite Halloween movies.

Tonight was a little different. The sun had set long ago, and Betty moved quietly through their small house lighting her many candles, Falling Leaves,  Apple Cider, and Pumpkin Spice of course. Jughead was in kitchen, two large pumpkins on the countertop and a fresh bag in the garbage bin.

"Big knife or little knife?" Jughead asked, holding up the options with a menacing smile on his face.

"What do you think?" Betty grabbed the TV remote and traded it for the smaller knife.

"You're right. I don't think I can trust you with the big knife." Jughead winked. "What movie do you want tonight?"

"It's your turn to pick. I picked last night."

It didn't much matter what they watched; Betty was one to become hyper focused on her projects and Jughead was one to become hyper focused on Betty. She was already carving into her pumpkin, cutting around the stem. She stuck her arm elbow deep into the gooey orange guts.

"You know, there is an easier way to do that." Jughead picked up his own pumpkin. "Allow me to demonstrate."

He turned the pumpkin on its side and jammed his knife into the bottom. His arms bulged as he cut a swift circle  a popped out the orange shell. Along with it, a pile of pumpkin guts rained down on the counter top.

"Sorry to break it to you, Jug, but that's really not how Jack-o-Lantern's work. You're supposed to put the tea light in the bottom of the pumpkin."

"Oh, ye of so little faith."

With those words uttered, the competition began. Both began carving furiously, pumpkin guts flying around the kitchen. The Corpse Bride played in the background, providing prime inspiration for her highly stylized pumpkin. Jughead took a more traditional route. Large triangle eyes took up most the face, with a grimace zigzagged horizontally across its width.

"Done!" Jughead shouted, slamming his tools down harshly on the table.

"It's not a race, Juggie." Betty responded sweetly, still carving carefully.

"It doesn't need to be, I'll still win. Watch and learn."

Jughead lifted the pumpkin and pulled it over his head like a mask. Then followed a string of ridiculous poses.  Hands on hips, dramatic spin, head bob. Betty only stared, horrified at the mess of sticky goo that she'd have to clean out of Jughead's hair later.

"Oh my God, please no. You did not just do that."

"Oh I did just do that." Jughead took a step toward Betty, his voice was muffled behind the thick orange shell. "Don't tell me you don't want a piece of this pumpkin pie."

"Tempting… but you know I'm most attracted to your face." She turned back to her pumpkin, carving out a small line of the Corpse Bride's hair.

"Hey, I thought you were most attracted to my personality."

"Yeah, well that too…"

Jughead began sweeping pumpkin guts off the counter. "I'm disappointed in you, Betty. Are you saying you wouldn't love me if I had a pumpkin for a head?"

"I'd love you as an adorable sidekick… but I can't kiss a pumpkin."

"Not with that attitude." Jughead lurched toward Betty, knocking his pumpkin head against her human one.

"Ow, Jug! If that's your idea of a good kiss then…"

"Pumpkin fight!" Jughead swiped up a pile of goo and threw it at Betty. It landed with a squelch in the middle of her T-shirt, stolen from Jughead.

"What has gotten into you!?" Betty jumped back, the stringy bits falling to the floor. "That had better not stain."

"It's my shirt, why does it matter?" Somehow, he managed to look smug behind his pumpkin façade.

Betty marched up to him, grabbing a fistful of his jacket. "You listen and you listen good. It's my shirt now. You signed up for this the day you first kissed me, so now you must accept your fate."

For a moment Jughead was completely still. "Is it bad that this is kind of turning me on?"

Betty rolled her eyes and turned back to her own pumpkin. "You're lucky I finished with my pumpkin. Now, let's get you cleaned up. Bath time!"

Betty pulled her dirty shirt over her head and tossed it at Jughead as she walked toward their master bathroom. Betty began running the warm water and dumped in a few capfuls of bubble bath.  

"Okay, so now I'm even more turned on." Jughead stepped through the bathroom door. "Are you wearing matching bra and panties?"

Betty turned to look at him. "Not for long. Now take the stupid pumpkin head off… or don't you want to share a bath?"

"Oh I do… just one problem." Jughead yanked at the bottom of the pumpkin. "It's stuck."

"Well you better get it unstuck. Because the bra… is coming…off." Betty stepped close to him, her hands reaching back to pull apart the metal prongs.

"Betty…" Jughead whimpered. "I can't… help…God I love you. I'll be right back."

Jughead turned and ran back into the kitchen.  He returned with a small knife stuck in the shell near his neck.

"What the hell? You're going to hurt yourself, Jug." Betty rushed over to him, carefully dislodging the knife.

"You flustered me." Jughead tugged again at the pumpkin. "Did you take your panties off? Give me the knife."

"No, that is not a good idea. Come here." Betty slid her hands up Jughead's neck when he walked up to her. It seemed that the pumpkin was getting caught on his jaw. "Okay, chin down."

Just as Betty tried to pull away the pumpkin, Jughead's hands slid up her waist. Betty stopped him before he reached her breasts.  

"No… pumpkin head off first. It's too weird."

"Okay, chin down." He complied and Betty was able to slide the pumpkin over his head. His hair was stuck up in a thousand directions. "Okay… so the view is a lot better without the pumpkin."

"Damn right." Betty stepped backward toward the bath, one foot sinking into the warm water. "Coming, Pumpkin King?"

Jughead was already stripping off his clothes as Betty sunk into the pink bubbles. Only her head remained visible, and that was not good enough for him. Jughead was out of his clothes quickly and into the bath with his gorgeous, naked girlfriend. His hands were immediately on her skin, long legs were silky smooth under the warm water.

As Jughead's hands explored her well-known body, Betty's lips found his neck. She ignored the bitter taste of raw pumpkin on his skin, distracted by Jughead's fingers moving in between her thighs. His fingers slipped between her folds and curled inside of her.

"Oh, Jug…" His movements forced her to arch her back, her blond hair sinking into the water. In an instant, Jughead's free hand was on her upper back, holding her head above the water. His fingers still moved inside of her.

"This is a bit tedious." Jughead groaned against Betty's lips.

Betty rolled beneath him and Jughead's feet slipped on the rounded end of the bathtub. "That's because we aren't in the right position."

Jughead's breath hitched. "Excuse me?"

"Follow my lead." Betty hooked a leg around his, flipping their positions. Water splashed over the edge of the tub, but Betty ignored the mess. Jughead was splayed out beneath her, and Betty gripped his shoulders as he lowered herself over his hard cock. She didn't stop until he was balls deep, his eyes rolling back in his head.

"Why have we never done this before?" His words stumbled out of his mouth, his large hands moving up Betty's stomach until he reached his breasts.

"Just shut up and fuck me." Betty began bouncing on his cock. Jughead kept one hand on Betty's breast, his mouth moving to envelop the nipple, while the other hand gripped her ass to guide her on his cock. She was grinding scandalously above him, the movement of her hips creating a whirlpool around their bodies.

"Fuck, Betts. Fuck fuck…" Jughead was moments away from coming undone. He gripped his girlfriend's hips, sure to leave bruises, as he began thrust into her. His movements were fast, Betty becoming a moaning mess on top of him.

"Harder." Betty had stopped moving altogether, leaving Jughead to do all the work. She had collapsed against Jughead's chest, her breasts pressing deliciously against him. Jughead pulled himself out of her, leaving Betty to whimper above him, but quickly flipped her so her back pressed against his chest as he slid back into her.

Betty's head fell back over his shoulder, inviting Jughead's lips to the flushed, wet skin of her neck. He nibbled at her neck and let his hands slide down her stomach until he reached his ultimate destination. As he thrust into her, Jughead pressed his middle finger against her clit, rubbing harshly.

He could feel her walls tightening around his length, and he couldn't hold off on his high. Jughead held her body against him as he came, his fingers still working until Betty reached her climax moments later. Jughead's body fell slack, the water once against enveloping their now still bodies.

"I want to do that every day for the rest of my life." Jughead sighed. He pulled a wet strand of Betty's hair between his fingers. "Why don't we do that every day?"

"Don't get used to it, babe." Betty pulled away from her boyfriend, stepping out of the bath. "I'm not cleaning up this mess every day."

She splashed through the puddles of water that had accumulated on the bathroom floor and sighed at the sad sight of the discarded pumpkin head sitting sadly on the floor. Betty pulled a towel from the rack behind the door.

"No, not the towel." Jughead slipped out of the tub, pulling Betty into his arms. The towel dropped to the sopping wet floor as Betty curled her arms around his neck. "How about we get cleaned up in the shower? I'll take care of the Pumpkin King and the puddle later."

"You have the best ideas."

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed this short piece... if there are any Halloween related fics you’d like to see feel free to let me know! I want to add more to this universe.