#but apparently this is what finally did it

[alg3a]

muffins

viktor x f! reader

3.8k, MDNI, no use of (y/n)

description: Viktor had been so kind as to agree to help you out with your midterm prep, so you thought baking him muffins would be a great way to repay him. However, an accidental secret ingredient gets in the way of studying.

warnings: Age gap, roomie smut, more story than smut, p in v, sex pollen/serum (with pretty explicit consent), overall jolly good fun, no harm no foul, yippee!

a/n: inspired by @the-hidden-pages story, Human Testing because it’s one of the first viktor x reader fics i ever read and i STRONGLY recommend!

Any student should feel lucky to have the smartest men at the academy as your roommates. Being an undergraduate biochem student who had to work to pay her own tuition, going to lecture wasn’t always an option. That’s when you’d bake a tray of brownies or do some extra dishes and call in a favor from one of your roomies.

It happened all the time, which made you incredibly thankful to have one people-pleaser in the apartment. Jayce was always willing to put aside whatever he was doing and help you out on your Arcane Studies homework or your Bioengineering project. Last semester, finals week consisted of the two of you sitting criss-cross applesauce on the rug of the living room, paper scattered all over the floor as you tried to decipher the grading scale of your Organic Chemistry class to see what the lowest grade on the test you could get was and still wind up with a passing grade (something Jayce had done plenty of times in his undergrad years).

Viktor, on the other hand, had gotten somewhat tired of your constant requests for him to backtrack and dive into knowledge he hadn’t tapped for years now. He was never particularly rude about it, but you were very perceptive. When you asked him to repeat an explanation once or twice, you noticed the growing exhaustion on his face that bordered frustration and you stopped asking for his help going forward. It wasn’t to his own fault, you could be pretty needy sometimes, so more often than not, you just asked Jayce.

Only, Jayce was out of town for a Hextech press conference this weekend, the weekend before you had your Arcane Studies midterm. In a heartbreaking display, he had apologized profusely for not being able to help, inches away from getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. You assured him none of that was necessary, and that you’d just stay up studying in the library or even reach out to your TA (who you’d never even spoken to before in class or outside of it, and who you were certain would be less helpful than Jayce).

To remedy your situation–even though you pinkie promised him you didn’t need him to–he took it upon himself to ask Viktor to help you cram study on Sunday night, the night before your midterm. While Jayce asked, you did your best to listen from your bedroom, the next room over. You heard some grumbling from Viktor and a muffled, yet compelling “She’s our roommate and she bakes us nice things” from Jayce.

Apparently that last bit must have been very rousing, because shortly after, Jayce was at your door telling you that Viktor agreed to a maximum of three hours of cramming that would begin no earlier than eight at night.

You worked for all of Saturday’s daylight hours, and then finalized your experimental serum for your Advanced Biochemistry project. For the biochem class, you’d been studying methods of enhancing senses for the first half of the quarter and your midterm project involved making a serum that could temporarily improve the performance of one human sense. Around three weeks ago, you and your classmates drew topics from a hat and your fingers emerged with “arousal” on a piece of paper. Needless to say, you were concerned. You thought the serum project would be fairly straightforward, and had already brainstormed ideas for vision enhancing serums or hearing aid serums, but arousal? You had to think out of the box for that one.

When you finished up your last touches to the serum, you were left with enough time at night to get ingredients to bake Viktor some muffins as a sign of your gratitude. You got enough stuff for twice as much as you would’ve made for Jayce and actually stuck to the recipe this time. Keeping Viktor happy was a very delicate ecosystem and there could be no tampering.

It wasn’t that he was a grump or even that he hated you, he was just too busy to want to help and too intelligent to want to backtrack. Once he had even looked at what you were studying and said, “I’d have to go too far back to help you.” That was inspiring.

You poured the contents of your tote bag on the counter.

On your better days, you and Viktor actually got along quite well. Those were the rare days when Viktor got more than three hours of sleep and ate a full meal before two pm. In his best conditions, the two of you were good friends.

The best days were when he and Jayce both come home early enough for you to make them a home cooked meal. Then you’d all curl up on the couch and watch a movie. The last time that happened, Jayce picked some superhero movie you’d never heard of and you and Viktor both fell asleep. You woke up the next morning asleep on Viktor’s chest with four blankets piled on top of you both. Jayce said he knew both of you ran cold, so he took the blankets from your beds. You and Viktor never talked about that night.

The exhaustion of your stressful Saturday had leaked into your studying Sunday, and in a tired stupor, you whisked together all the ingredients for the muffins and poured them haphazardly into the mold. They might not look pretty, but at least they’d taste good.

You pulled the freshly baked muffins from the oven and rested them on the stovetop. The sweet aroma of warm blueberry filled the apartment. It must have roused Viktor from whatever he was working on in his room, because he emerged a full quarter of an hour earlier than your agreed upon study time.

“Hey,” you said. “I made you some muffins as a thank you. They’re still hot, though, I wasn’t expecting you for another fifteen minutes.”

“That’s fine,” he said, setting himself at the kitchen table and sipping from a cup of coffee that had been there since Jayce was still in town. “Would you like to begin now?”

You grab all your study guides and homework assignments and your assortment of chicken scratch notes and slide them over to him on the table.

“Are your midterms cumulative?” He asked, finishing the remnants of his cold coffee.

“No,” you answered. Thank God. If you had to remember everything that was in the last midterm you’d be losing your mind right about now. “Everything past Arcane History will be on the test.”

“Mm. I see.”

He scans your notes for another five minutes.

“I’ll quiz you,” he decided, standing up to check on the temperature of the cooling muffins on the stovetop.

“Uh, okay.” You didn’t typically study by being quizzed, especially when you hardly went to lecture and didn’t even know most of the material. But you didn’t want to risk arguing with Viktor and have him decide to take his muffin to-go.

“Tell me why the Arcane can manifest in such unpredictable manners?”

“Because…” you started to think that maybe going to your TA wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Your TA was just a random graduate student. The roommate that was helping you study now was one of the inventors of Hextech, the researcher responsible for some of the greatest advancements in Piltover’s modern understanding of the Arcane. “...it reflects the intentions of the user.”

“Correct,” he says, affording you a rare Viktor smile. “Would you like a muffin?”

You had intended for the muffins to be entirely Viktor’s, but you hadn’t eaten all day and gods, they smelled good. Plus, it was like a reward for getting an answer right.

“Sure, thanks.”

You watch as Viktor plucks two muffins from the tin and comes back to seat himself at the table. He hands one to you and sorts through the papers you’ve scattered on the desk as he brings a small chunk to his mouth. You do the same.

Something tastes slightly off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. It’s possible the ratio is off, and in your tired state you added too little vanilla extract or too much vegetable oil. Regardless, they’re not bad at all.

“Your notes are a little bit difficult to–” Viktor stops before finishing his sentence. He pulls out a sheet of paper from the pile and reads it, his eyes widening a bit as he does.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“These notes are from your biochem class,” he says, his eyes flickering up to meet yours for just a few seconds over the piece of paper. “This is an interesting assignment…”

“Oh,” you feel your cheeks growing hot. “Sorry, that’s not supposed to be in there.”

You reach out to take the paper from him, but he pulls it back as you do. He’s still reading it. You’d really like him to stop reading about your own aphrodisiac serum, but your embarrassment is a bit unwarranted. After all, you didn’t make the serum because you wanted it, you made it because it was a graded assignment. Nothing more. So what if you did eventually garner interest in the topic. So much interest, in fact, that you did extensive research into the properties your serum could afford and spent long hours in your lab experimenting with it. Shamefully, yes, you had tried some of it. Mainly to test its efficiency but also out of plain curiosity. You had determined that it was safe, most importantly, but you’d also learned that it tasted horrible. To counter that, you’d added some–

“Oh fuck!” You shout as you scoot your chair so far back so quickly that it topples over. You stumble over your bag on the floor as you sprint to the kitchen.

“Is something wrong?” Viktor asks from his seated position.

“Don’t eat the muffin!” You exclaim as you run to the counter space next to the stove, your heart pounding.

You confirm your worst fear. The bottle of vanilla extract you picked up from the supermarket sits on the counter, the protective seal still intact. Your arousal serum, however, is halfway empty a few inches beside the extract.

You turn around slowly to face Viktor.

“It’s a bit late for that,” Viktor says, holding up the half of his muffin that remains. “Did something happen?”

You eye your own muffin on the table, half eaten as well.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you scrambled back toward the table where Viktor sat, the serum held tight by your hand. “You’re not allergic to anything, are you?”

“No,” Viktor says, eyeing you like you’re crazy.

Come on, just get it out already. You have to tell him, it would be morally bankrupt not to.

“I accidentally drugged you.”

Okay, maybe not like that.

Viktor just stared at you, his expression unchanged. You sort of just wished he would yell at you so that you could get the encounter over with, but no such luck. He just sat, unphased, until he picked up the notes he was looking at earlier.

“With this?” He asks. Even his voice is still even. You knew that if the roles had been reversed you would be fracking out, absolutely bouncing off the walls.

“Yes, but don’t worry I’ve done lots of research on this serum,” you say, taking the notes from Viktor and looking them over. You read the list two or three times, scanning for any sort of antidote for ingestion. You saw none. “How could I have not included an antidote?” You mutter, mentally beating yourself up.

“It’s okay,” Viktor said and you couldn’t even bring yourself to look up at him from your notes. “It is safe, yes? It won’t kill us?”

“No, it won’t, but it’s a powerful aphrodisiac and I added half the serum to those muffins. If my math is right, you’re taking three times the recommended dosage.”

“But I only ate half the muffin,” Viktor counters. Again, you’re shocked by how unphased he is.

“Okay, then one and a half times the dosage,” you shrug off his comment as you look for anything in your notes that might reveal a way to undo this mess.

“I assume this means you no longer wish to study?” Viktor says.

“How are you so calm about this?” You finally burst out, slamming the paper down on the table to look at him.

Big mistake.

Once you see him, you become lightheaded and your knees buckle beneath you. You have to sit down to stop yourself from falling over.

“Are you alright?” Viktor asks.

“I-I’m fine,” you shake your head in an attempt to get some blood flowing to your brain. No luck.

“Since you’re obviously worked up about this, why don’t you tell me how it works and then we can go from there.”

“It’s a fast acting stimulant,” you say, burying your face in your hands. “The chemistry is irrelevant since I have no goddamn cure for it, but it works the same as any other aphrodisiac. It makes you susceptible to arousal and heightens it by three times at a normal dosage, and in our case… nearly five times.”

“Intriguing,” he says, eyeing the muffin that lays neglected on the table. “Such a strange class project. Aren’t there moral quandaries to be had for such a substance?”

“Yes of course there are, which is why I made it so that it only takes effect if there’s already a degree of attraction in place–”

You shouldn’t have said anything. Especially not when you’re so clearly affected by it in the presence of Viktor. Way to sell yourself out.

“So you’re saying…”

You groan out in frustration, but once you look at Viktor you’re reminded of why you had your face buried in your hands. Somehow every feature of his seems five times more beautiful than you normally regarded them. His perfectly angular nose, his narrowed amber eyes, his messy hair which fell in ways you could never recreate on paper…

“I have a feeling you know exactly what I’m saying.” You squeezed your eyes shut. If you couldn’t see him, he couldn’t torture you.

Or so you thought.

A tantalizing graze of his hand on yours shot shivers down your spine. You pulled away so fast that a few of the papers on the desk shifted from the shear force of the wind.

“Don’t do that,” you seethed, sucked your teeth as you pressed your eyes shut so hard that you saw stars.

“Because…it affects you?” His voice was raspy and slow, or maybe that’s just what the serum was making you hear. Every bit of what he was doing seemed five times as attractive as it would normally be.

You’d done such a good job at hiding your feelings for Viktor for almost a year now. Being roommates with someone you found incredibly attractive was no easy task. And now all of your efforts were thrown out the window because of a stupid baking mishap.

“You’re being cruel,” you furrow your eyebrows as you speak, your voice coming out whinier than you would’ve liked.

“I’m sorry,” he stifles a laugh. “Would you open your eyes?”

“I can’t,” you groan, shoving your hands against your face again. “It’s best if I just go to my room and wait it out. Thank you for trying to study with me but I’m just gonna have to accept a shitty grade tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, his fingers wrapping around your wrists and pulling them down from your face so that you had to look at him. “It’s been a long time since I’ve taken biochemistry, and I certainly haven’t studied aphrodisiacs, but the effects should go away after the serum is put to use, correct?”

You thought back to your experimentation phase. All the nights you spent alone in your lab trying out the efficacy of the serum resulted in the effects dissipating once climax was reached. It had certainly been the least orthodox experimentation phase you’d ever undergone.

“Yes, that’s correct,” you say reluctantly. It takes every ounce of strength you have not to let your eyes explore Viktor’s face, then his long, narrow neck protruding his sweater, his Adam’s apple bobbing with a deep breath, then the sharp clavicle poking from–

Get yourself together.

“If you’re willing to retake the class–a class you should easily pass, given your access to the two most prevalent scientists in the field–then by all means, go to your room.” Viktor pulls his hands away from you, then picks up the muffin, peeling off the paper from the bottom. He picks off a piece and drops it onto his tongue.

“What are you doing? You’re just going to make it worse!”

He smirks at you, then sets the muffin back down. “It’s a very good muffin. You’re an excellent baker.”

Fuck.

“You’re playing with me,” you shake your head in disbelief.

“No, dearest, I am not playing with you,” he says, standing up from his chair, then moving toward you tantalizingly slow. He takes a seat on the table in front of you, then crosses his hands on his lap. “You’re smart enough to recognize the alternative I am offering to you.”

Your heart stops. You look at his half eaten muffin, although more than half is gone now with the addition of that last bite.

“You…” The idea is almost impossible for you to grasp, let alone put into words. “You want to expedite the process?”

“That’s certainly one way of putting it,” Viktor laughs. He reaches for a strand of your distressed hair and pushes it behind your ear.

“But you’re not even attracted to me!”

“What makes you think that?” Viktor says, retracting his hand, only to place it over yours on the desk.

“Because if you were, you’d be much more affected right now. I mean, look at me!” You gesture to yourself with your free hand. “I’m a mess! I’m on the brink of breaking out in a sweat and my hands are clammy and you’re just sitting there!”

Viktor laughs to himself as if he’s in on some kind of inside joke that you know nothing about.

“I’ve had lots of practice in concealing my excitement around you,” he finally says, slowly, seductively, the words dripping from his chin as his cold eyes bore into you.

“What?”

You know what he said. In fact, you understand it perfectly, but you can’t be sure it actually came from his mouth because it seems so perfectly unreal. So dream-like, so idealistic, so fantastical.

“You’ve done a good enough job at hiding your attraction, too,” Viktor says. “I wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for tonight’s incident. Which is exactly why I’ve felt the need to hide my own.”

“You’ve liked me?”

You still can’t wrap your head around the idea.

“I’ve admired you,” he smiles, rubbing circles on the back of your hand, reminding you just how potent your little sex serum really is.

In fact, it’s so powerful that you hardly have to put any thought into leaping up from your chair and pushing your lips against his. Before you can third guess his affection, his hands are interlaced with your hair, pushing you deeper into his lips as his tongue begs to be let into your needy mouth.

Now it was clear to see how much the serum had actually affected him. In mere seconds, his hands grabbed at your thighs and pulled you up onto the table to straddle him with strength you didn’t even know he possessed. His breathy little moans sent you further into madness and you yanked his sweater off of his head, forcing your mouth off of his for just a few seconds, but once that sweater was off, your lips clung together like magnets.

Deft fingers unbuttoned your long sleeve shirt and he pulled it off your arms so quickly that you worried for a second that he might have ripped it. But you didn't care. You couldn’t possibly be concerned with a silly shirt when Viktor was beneath you on the kitchen table like a meal.

The serum didn’t exactly allow either of your minds to comprehend much foreplay. You fiddled with Viktor’s belt and he pushed your skirt up to your waist. Once both of you were exposed, he didn’t waste any time positioning you above his cock.

“So wet for me,” Viktor whined against your bare chest. “Is that the serum’s doing or is it mine?”

“Yours,” you whimper as Viktor slides his tip beneath your folds. “If it were anyone else in the room with me when I took the serum, I’d be unaffected.”

“I’m flattered,” he smiles cruelly as he thrusts up into you.

“Oh fuck,” you whine as your rest your heavy head on Viktor’s shoulder.

He brings his hands to your waist and guides you up and down as his hips meet your core in long, languid thrusts. The serum sets every single nerve on fire, making it seem as if each of his thrusts has the impact of twenty.

You moan muffled strangulations of his name into his neck, which only urges him to persist with his cruel thrusts. The sound of your cunt being abused fills the kitchen and you’re wildly thankful that Jayce is out of town.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Viktor pants. “You have no idea.”

You really did have no idea. He hid it so well. You silently thanked whatever force had caused you to accidentally throw the serum into the muffin mix.

“So have I,” you whined against his skin. “Fuck…don’t stop…”

Each thrust is punctuated by the creaks of the sturdy kitchen table below you. His motions become quicker, shakier, and more intense and you can tell he’s reaching the end along with you. Your legs begin to shake and you feel that familiar tickling sensation in your core that the serum does a beautiful job at emulating.

“Viktor, I’m close, I’m so fucking close,” you moan as you lift your head from the crook of his neck. You bring your lips to his and he delivers his final thrusts. As he fills you, your moans echo on each other’s lips, a feeling you never thought you’d experience with your own brilliant roommate.

Your breathing steadies and Viktor wraps his arms around you, bringing you close to him as he tries to collect himself as well.

“You…” Viktor pants, “are forbidden from using that kitchen ever again.”

You laugh as you bring yourself off of him, pressing a kiss to his lips as you collect yourself. “That sounds fair to me.”

[sparrow-and-seed-scrawls]

They grabbed the silks and jewels, pocketed the gold coins, filled their empty wineskins with the king’s finest, most sapid alcohol. Their old rags were abandoned for warm furs and leathers, and the youngest, barely older than thirteen, threw his too-small shoes to the side for a pair of fine boots.

All that time, they left Lora Isold bleeding on the marble floor, both arms tied so she couldn’t escape and her mouth gagged with an old tunic.

No matter that she’d been the one to get them passed the guards. No matter that she’d healed their sick with her last bottle of medicine. No matter any of it. They hadn’t even had the mind to give her a single coin.

She was used to pain. She’d bled on expensive floors before. It was the fact that she was going to die here, next to a young, naive king with a snapped leg. She was going to die with no payment and no honor, and that made bile rise in her throat.

The band of nobodies cleared the last of the treasure and slung packed bags over their shoulders. One of them, a Skilled young man, drew water from the air with a twist of his wrist and threw it over the fire. Winter chill filled the room almost instantly.

“Sorry, Sweet,” the leader said, leaning down to run a calloused hand through her hair. As if she were a child. “Your help was much appreciated.”

He set a golden goblet next to her face, so close she could feel the metal chill on her cheek. “Hope that’s worth your trouble. Maybe they’ll pity you a few drops of rum at the tavern, if you can make it there.”

His green eyes sparked, and he took her bound hand in his. Then he lit a flame in his palm.

She cursed behind the gag, her free hand grasping for any sort of brace against the heat. There were none.

He held the fire there for several moments, not even caring enough to look at her while he charred her skin. And when he finally did let go, he didn’t say a word. Just shook the fire out and spun on his heel.

He shot the king a sour smile. “Perhaps, if you still had your staff, you’d wouldn’t be dying such a humiliating death. Let’s go, men! The people will be glad to know their Unskilled king is finally dead.”

And then, it was Lora and the King Solari.

The king who’d, apparently, been living alone in the palace for who knew how long.

The king who simply stared at the now-empty throne room, his hair tangled where the people had yanked the crown off his head. His breathing was ragged.

He wasn’t in much better shape than she was.

His leg was broken, she knew that from the sound of his scream and the crack of earlier. But blood trickled down the left side of his face, red staining his lips in a way that looked much like he were a jester instead of a king.

They’d carved a picture into his dark cheek, Lora realized with a start. Intricate slashes gave way to the royal family’s seal, a shield with a scepter in the center and lined with laurels.

She hadn’t seen that seal in sometime. They’d carved it with reason, certainly. But she had no idea what that reason was.

She was a mercenary, yes, but this was far beyond anything she’d seen in her circles. This robbery—this wasn’t the sloppy work of a band of nobodies. This had been planned.

And she’d written them off as innocent and a bit stupid. Even naive.

That was hilarious. Truly, she hadn’t the slightest inkling that they were more than a handful of poor citizens trying to make something of themselves. She hadn’t realized their leader was a Skilled. Which was her own fault. She’d given out the fact that she was Unskilled too freely.

The king finally found her gaze. He used the back of his hand to wipe the blood from his skin, flinching slightly.

And he began to drag himself towards her. Slowly, using the palms of his hands and hissing out sharp sounds every few moments when his leg weighed behind him.

Lora tensed each time he did. A broken bone was a white-hot, screaming ache. You couldn’t move without it shouting its presence. So what was he doing?

He stopped a few steps away from her, eyes unfocused for a moment. When he finally steadied himself, he offered a weak laugh.

“I suppose we’re both expendable, hm?”

What?

She just stared at him. It wasn’t like she could respond very well, and even if she could, how was she supposed to respond?

Yes, they were both expendable to the adventurers, no matter their deeds or titles. They were probably expendable to most of the kingdom.

He reached a shaking hand up behind her head, and Lora was quite certain he was about to grab the knife from her belt and finally end her.

She waited, keeping her breathing steady. He would die soon after her, anyway. Without medical care, he wouldn’t make it for more than a handful of days.

The gag fell away from her mouth, instead.

She sucked in a full breath of air, the scent of blood and smoke and dust flooding her lungs. Her exhale came out on a cloud amidst the winter air. “Loosen the bonds on my hands,” she demanded, doing her best to keep her tone gentle despite her frustration.

He must’ve been too drunk on pain to chastise her for disrespect, because he did it without a word.

He was a bit unsteady in the cold. He pulled the rope over her burnt hand more than once, leaving her to bite her cheek to keep from making noise. It hurt.

But then the rope loosened, and she could see the dark skin of her palm and fingers. A steady burn, halfway up her forearm and fairly deep. It would take a time to heal.

With her good hand, she loosened her belt. Slid the pack and knife off and to the floor. Lifted her tunic to see the wound clearly.

She didn’t care enough to examine it. It hadn’t bled much, and it wasn’t deep. It was the burn she was more worried about.

Still, she pulled a worn map of the kingdom from her pack and laid it carefully over the wound, then wrapped the belt atop it so she had a horribly loose, unclean bandage of sorts.

Actually, she couldn’t even call it that. It was more of…

She didn’t have a word for it. Either way, it was an embarrassingly bad job, especially for her skill set.

“Glad to see you appreciate my kingdom,” the king deadpanned, staring down at the map wrap.

Oh. Oh.

“I’m not considering patriotism at the moment. I can die, if you’d prefer,” she said.

He lifted his stare to her, brown eyes narrowing slightly. His blood-stained lips tightened.

That probably was a bit too harsh, given the situation.

He bit out a half-delirious laugh, then, so sudden it made Lora jump. It seized at his chest and choked from his throat. “Perhaps you should! Perhaps you should, and then I can die without the humiliation of someone seeing me so bloodied with a forgotten seal carved into my face!”

She didn’t find the humor in his words. Yes, she’d wanted a new ruler for as many years as he’d been king. But she hadn’t come here to kill him, especially without a better alternative. That was a fool’s errand.

She’d only come to serve as a guide and perhaps show the kingdom their king wasn’t as powerful as he made himself to be. Then, perhaps, the people would elect a new ruler.

But if Solari died now, there was no replacement. The first to reach the throne would take over the kingdom, and that was certainly a worser fate.

She sucked in a breath. “Let me see the leg.”

“Why? So you can cut it off?”

A surprised laugh broke from her lips. “No, you egg, so I can set the bone.”

“To steal my bone?” He shot her an incredulous look. “You’re going to take that, too?!”

Yes, he was certainly delirious.

“No, just—” How was she going to explain this? “I’m going to fix it for now, until we can get to a healer somewhere.”

“Ah.” He nodded violently. “I know a healer.”

Lora didn’t doubt it.

She didn’t try to converse with him any longer. Instead, she handed him a flask from her pack.

“Drink. It’ll help the pain and bring your head back.”

He looked between her and the flask, then to the goblet at her side. “Give me that.”

She rolled her eyes but obeyed. He poured half the contents into the cup, lifting it in his hand and spinning it like some sort of rich wine. Which it most certainly was not.

His face twisted when the alcohol passed his lips. “This is certainly not wine.”

“It’s cheap alcohol for disinfecting.”

“Cheap?” He drew the goblet away, but she pushed it back to his lips.

“Finish it.”

He did, slowly, his eyes flicking and his hands unsteady. She couldn’t tell if it was the cold or the pain anymore.

“Do you want some?” he asked after several minutes, holding out the empty goblet. He was still pale, but at least his words sounded steady.

“No. I’m trying to fix your leg with the little focus I have left.”

“If you insist.”

She only had one good hand, so the task was going to be immeasurably difficult even without alcohol.

Even so, she took the tunic-gag to use as a splint of sorts. She anchored herself on one side of his leg with her knee and placed her good hand on the opposite side.

“Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Don’t make a sound. This is, more than likely, not going to be enjoyable.”

“Joy,” the king deadpanned.

Lora pushed the bone back into place and wrapped it as tightly as she could manage.

The king cursed, his face going even paler than before. He sucked his teeth.

“Joy…”

Lora sat back.

Now, they simply had to find a healer without either of them dying of infection.

Joy.

——————

Merry Christmas!!! I think I’ll make this into a multi-part story.

Yippie!

Let me know if you want something specific in it. I love requests 🫶

You’re a mercenary hired by adventurers to defeat the boss. After the battle, they loot the treasure and abandon you wounded. The defeated boss crawls over and says, “Guess we’re both expendable, huh?”

[misctf]

Hey! I just bought this new VR game system and it says not to try it on alone. What the fuck are they talking about? And why are all the games on the online store so adult centered? Whatever, let's try it, wait what is happening ...

“Dude, you’re not supposed to use Hive X alone.” Some guy messages you in the chatroom, “Did you not see the warnings?”

“Or the reviews?” Another user asks, “It’s best for couples to use it. Together.”  

Your eyes narrow, “I didn’t pay all this money not to use it.” You reply, “I’ll let you know how it is.” You look down at the black box.

You always appreciated your friends in the gaming community. But the gaming community was quite divided when Hive X hit the stores. A new VR gaming system that seemed to offer a futuristic level of immersion. You didn’t really have time to read reviews, but you weren’t going to miss out on this opportunity.

“Well, here it goes.” You mumble.

You slowly remove the VR headset from the box, followed by two wrist and ankle cuffs. You can’t help but chuckle when you remove what looks like a waist trainer.

“What the fuck?” You whisper as you read the instructions.

Slowly, you remove your clothes until you’re completely naked. Apparently, this would help facilitate the full immersive experience. And as you stand in the center of your room, you slowly slip on the ankle cuffs, then the wrist cuffs, and finally the waist trainer. You pick up the headset, which looks like that of a motorcycle helmet, and with a deep breath, place it over your head. Initially, all you see is inky blackness. But as it turns on, the world around you comes alive. You wince as the ankle, waist, and wrist pads dig into your skin and warm up. And suddenly, you’re standing in what can only be described as a hotel.

“Oh wow.” You whisper as you look around, seeing others walking around the hotel. Heading to different rooms. You take a deep breath and smell a muskiness mixed with oak wood. The warmth of a glowing fire dancing in the hotel lobby. It’s warm, and a sense of peace fills you, “Oh shit!” You realize that you’re naked and quickly go to cover yourself.

Apparently, others heard you and look over. Some chuckle, some give you concerned looks. And you realize that many of them are naked too. Blushing, you quickly walk down a hallway, awkwardly bumping into and maneuvering around other couples.

“Why the fuck is everyone naked?” You mumble, “And why...” Your eyes widen and you gasp when you turn a corner and enter a large room.

There had to be hundreds of men and women in the midst of a giant orgy. All moaning and engaging in lewd acts. You avert your eyes and back away, heading back the way you came. Your face beet red and dick twitching uncomfortably.

“I should’ve read the reviews.” You mumble, realizing this is some kind of virtual sex toy, “Okay, I’m done. The guys will get a kick out of this.”

“What’s wrong?” You jump at the monotone voice behind you, “So sorry. I’m NPC 436.” A fully clothed, relatively plain individual says, “I am designed to tailor your experience and enhance customer satisfaction.”

“Yeah, I...” You cover your junk, “This isn’t my thing... I...”

“We have many experiences designed for our users.” It continues, “Usually, partners enter the Hive due to enhanced physical sensations. It appears...”

“Yeah, I’m alone.” The NPC nods.

“Based on your preferences and attitudes, we have determined an ideal experience.”

“Wha... how?”

“The VR headset you utilize is a two-way interface with your mind.” It says simply, “Please follow me.”

Part of you wants to say no and write this off as one of your biggest failed gaming experiences. But another part of you is curious. You nod and follow NPC 436 as it leads you to one of the hotel rooms. You stop outside Room 194 and NPC 436 opens the door, beckoning inside.

“Please enjoy.” It says, “Customer satisfaction is a primary objective.” It continues.

You nod as the door closes behind you and you enter a standard hotel suite. A warm fire place cackling and the smell of oak filling your nostrils. You feel your body start to relax and your thoughts slow. Absentmindedly, you stroke your hardening cock. The sound of the shower in the other room brings you back to reality and you slowly walk over. When you enter, your eyes widen.

“Hey there.” The man says, as he turns and smirks at you, “Fuck you’re cute.”

You feel your heart beating, your cock aching with need. And as he approaches you, you step forward. Your hands moving to feel his massive pecs. He grins as he guides your hand to his dick and you shudder at the feeling of his thick manhood in your hand.

“Good boy.” He moans, “I’m NPC 251.” He continues as you continue to feel his body, “Fuck... you’re needy.”

Things seem to move quickly. He’s pressed you up against the wall of the shower, your lips locked, your tongues doing battle. You can feel his rough hands roam your body, as yours continue to stroke his dick. And suddenly you’re on your knees as he fucks your face- you deepthroating him like a pro. He lets out a moan as he finishes and you shudder as you’re filled with his seed.

“Fuck.” He whispers.

You stumble to your feet, quivering from the pleasure. And before you can say another word, you moan as your cock hardens against. A wave of horniness filling your mind. A desire for more filling your every thought.

“Th-this isn’t...” You whisper. How was your body already craving another round? What was this VR device doing to you? “I... I...” NPC 251 is stroking his dick, grinning down at you.

“Additional interaction requires in game purchase.” Your heart sinks, “Would you like to initiate NPC trial period?” NPC 251 asks, “This will unlock additional sessions with any other NPC.”

You raise an eyebrow, trying to comprehend what NPC 251 means. But your aching cock is too distracting. You bite your lip. NPC trial period? What did that even mean? What would it...? But NPC 251... god you wanted to do that again. You wanted...

“Trial period. Please.” You moan.

A searing pain knocks you off your feet. You can feel it in your ankles, hands, and waist. And the feeling seems to be moving along your arms, legs, and torso. You cry out and look up at NPC 251 in terror, gripping your head as you develop a significant headache.  

“Digitalization process is taking place.” It says, “Your physical body is being fully converted into the Hive.”

Before you can say another word, a different feeling fills you. You feel like you’re being inflated. Each muscle contracting and bloating. Expanding and growing at a terrifying rate. You try to push yourself up and immediately fall over. Unfamiliar with your new size and bulk as your musculature takes on that of an athlete. You wince as your body hairs burns away and leaves you smooth and hairless. Your muscles toned and bulky. The body of a porn star.

“Optimization of user traits allows for seamless integration for company standards.” It continues, “Your prior traits will be saved in the mainframe.”

You gasp as you look at yourself, hands roaming over your impressive musculature. You moan in a far deeper voice as your ass pulses with need. And you look up desperately at NPC 251, knowing it could give you what your new body craved.

“Initiating directives.”

Your jaw goes slack and your eyes dim as words and numbers flash in front of your eyes. You can barely keep up with the various components as you’re given directions and commands. Your numb mind filling with them- a sense of devout obedience driving you.

“I will serve. I will ensure customer satisfaction.” You drone on, “Serving is my pleasure. Being used is my pleasure.” For a brief moment, you feel fear. Part of you coming to realize what your life is about to become. But fear is not part of your programing, “I am NPC 803.” You say.

NPC 803 was quickly led away to a new room. An empty room. One for NPC 803 and the services it would provide. Time wasn’t a concern for NPC 803, nor were any thoughts about when it would get to return to its old life. And as NPC 803 waiting for someone, it laid in bed. Dildo in its ass. Moaning from wave after wave of pleasure. But it wasn’t enough. All it wanted was to provide customers with the best experience possible. And as another man was led to your room, also without a partner, you couldn’t help but smile. After the time you were gonna give him, you just knew you’d have another NPC joining your team.

[jingyuans-precious]

the dim light of the room barely illuminates your pretty face, but it was enough to drive your lover insane anyways. his arms rested on either side of you, caging you to your shared couch. your lover’s stare was intense, yet filled with warmth. his gorgeous eyes were focused on your lips, absolutely mesmerizing, it bewitched him. so sweet and juicy, all for him.

“you’re such a tease, my beloved” your lover teases as he inches even closer, the distance between you two becoming even less. he brought his thumb up gently to swipe at your bottom lip, already wanting a taste of them, oh how he had longed for them all day long.

“i didn’t even do anything, my love” you protest playfully, knowing your lover would go crazy even if you truly didn’t do anything to tease him.

“oh, but you did, my beloved” he says with a faint smirk, mirroring your playful energy. he inches even closer, his hot breath hitting your face. your lover’s eyes dart up to gaze into your beautiful eyes, his teasing glint apparent.

“stop looking at me like that” you huff as you gently poke his cheek to distract him, but your lover caught your hand and kissed the finger you used to poke him with, maintaining eye contact as his sweet lips made contact with your skin.

“like what hm? say it, my beloved” your lover teased with his stupidly handsome smile, slowly releasing your hand in favor of caressing your cheek slowly while inching even closer, the tips of your noses touching.

“like you’re gonna ravage me” you joke, not moving an inch to see what he would do next, would he give in and kiss you?

your lover lets out a rich chuckle and decided to tease you further. “that’s not a bad idea, my beloved. i might just do that. are you giving me permission to?”

“you’re so ridiculous” your cheeks were burning at this point, one might say they might catch fire soon with how hot they were getting.

“you didn’t say no, my love. so i’ll ask you again, do i have your permission to?” your lover whispers huskily, staring into your eyes deeply, as if he was dissecting you, already knowing your heart was racing like crazy.

“…yes” you said, finally giving in to your lover. he didn’t have to be told twice, as soon as he heard your answer he leaned in to capture your sweet lips. finally, what he had been yearning for all day.

— JING YUAN, SYLUS, AYATO, CHILDE, WRIOTHESLEY, Alhaitham, Aventurine, Kaeya, Diluc, Neuvillette, Xavier, Marius von Hagen, Zhongli, Blade (because i’m delusional) + your faves ♡

A/N: I CAN ESPECIALLY SEE JING YUAN AND SYLUS DOING THIS, Y’ALL WITH ME JING YUAN AND SYLUS NATION ⁉️⁉️⁉️ i’d pay for them to ���

Hope you guys enjoyed this! my first time writing a slightly longer piece than usual, let me know! If you see this, you rock :] Wish you a lovely day!

[nualaofthefaerie]

The subtle notion that it was SKY AND MEL's joint effort that saved Jayce's life is insane.

FIRST OFF, re-watch that scene yourself. I'm not here to argue, it's a theory and it's something that made a big impression on me. + i made my own gifs for this.

When Viktor chokes Jayce with the "unfortunate" realisation that he is in the way of the glorious evolution, he gets distracted as seen here 👇 Something gets his attention enough to break away from looking at Jayce:

My theory is that the glowing orb that distracts him is Sky protesting. We see during episode 8 that whatever she is, she disagrees with the path of violence Viktor embarks on. The light is blues and purples which are Sky's colors in the arcane. Viktor's are this greens and blues as seen above, but Sky's always have purple or some red in it. (The gif below is a soft merge of Sky in the episode and the orb that distracts Viktor).

Viktor's reaction 👇 comes from his disbelief that there is still something he can't control in the Arcane - Sky, his own humanity. It would never allow him to hurt Jayce the way he is choking him basically to death. My reading is Sky (his HUMANITY) trying to convince him to let go, to re-consider. And you can see the realisation and softening of his gaze. Like he was considering whatever she was whispering in his ear.

By that time Jayce is kind of a goner.

And then Mel activated and Viktor locked back in with the speed of evil light (which apparently he is greatly offended by, like sir, you're killing one of your lovers over here, what did you expect) it gives Mel enough time to gather herself and react physically.

And even if she can't control her strength yet and it hurts her, she's absolutely giving her all to shake Viktor and save Jayce. (Something completely lost in the whole 'Meljay is a manipulation ship'. I'll tell you this much, Mel Medarda always gave 110% for Jayce Talis' dreams and safety, good investment or not)

Anyways, the point is that Sky's protesting was enough to distract Viktor emotionally, so Mel can shake the marionette physically.

Girls in STEM uniting to save 1/4th of their weirdly insane polycule because one full half has gone insane in the Arcane (hint: it's none of the girls, Melsky remain level headed queens).

But all that to say that Viktor forces Sky away AFTER that fight. He cannot afford to let her keep him human. If JAYCE, Vitkor's own other half, and Mel look like they have given up on him, what is the point of fighting for a lost cause. He rather do it by himself and reach the final Glorious Evolution.

[maythevoidnotscreamback]

For this Alex Hirsch to try to slap human morals or emotions onto what is essentially nature itself personified is weird to me, ngl.

Like, the Unicorn didn't ask to be, essentially, drugged and grabbed from her 'bed' by Mommy Fortuna when they happened upon her and while Schmendrick did help release her, he didn't have to follow after her. He chose to do that of his own volition for his own reasons under the guise of 'leading the way'. Something we all found out was a lie, unintentional or not, when Molly reveals they've apparently been going the wrong way the whole time. As it is, the Unicorn, when he got himself in trouble, did not have to rescue him from his plight; not even as repayment for releasing her.

Why would I say that?

Because 1) she's not human and thus not beholden to our laws or rules or sensibilities of reciprocation or what-ever-else and 2) she is, as said previously, nature personified. You can make offerings, you can make sacrifices, you can beg and pray and plead but nature will not care for what humans want it to do or why. The harvests could still fail, the animals could still get sick, the ships might still not return or the fish not plentiful, the seasonal dangers could still kill you. It doesn't matter. It will do as it will. Because while we humans need nature in any and all its forms to thrive, nature doesn't need us at all. It'll still be here long after we might all be gone.

As it is, did Schmendrick even give her thanks for that? It's been a while since I last saw it, mind, but I think I remember him blustering about how 'he had it handled' even though he clearly didn't. And while, yes, Molly was emotional at finally getting to see a Unicorn, the Unicorn herself is confused but willing to offer what comfort she can to someone in distress. Molly even goes so far as to 'forgive her' when she most likely doesn't care for or even need forgiveness because, in all reality, what the Unicorn represents is what humans have made of it. Not what it actually is.

And then there's Prince Lir. Looking back to my childhood thoughts after watching this movie, I remember I felt bad that he and Amalthea didn't stay together, but looking at those same memories as an adult? There's a bit of an unsettling... vibe to it. He actually complains to Molly that he felt guilty for killing a dragon that I'm pretty sure, I could be horribly wrong since I haven't seen it for a while as said before, he didn't have to kill. It wasn't threatening anyone, wasn't 'holding a hostage' for him to rescue, it even looked to be living in a remote place. He did it because he wanted to. To show off. But he complains because Amalthea didn't care he did it. That she wasn't fawning over him as he was expecting (mind, it could be because he was raised to expect that) because he killed a dragon. That she wasn't interested in him just 'cause he was a Prince, adopted or not.

All that aside, I loved the movie then and I still love it now. The songs felt perfect to me, the artwork was gorgeous, the characters were memorable and the climax was amazing.

Following the author of The Last Unicorn on Facebook is the only thing that makes being on that site worthwhile.

(source)

[often-daydreaming]

Wishes

"I just wish I could help him."

Tim sighed, tired eyes staring at the rows of monitors searching for any kind of change as he recalls the last thing he can remember Bart saying to him before everything went to hell when a barrier appeared around Central City cutting it off from the rest of the world. It had taken three days before anyone even realized what had happened and that was only after Barry returned from a mission in space and ran face first into the glowing green monstrosity trapping his friends inside some sort of otherworldly magical nonsense.

And it was kind of depressing that, that was all they knew after two months.

It was pure magic, old, ancient magic that had his friends living out the kind of picture perfect high school drama you'd find on tv and they only figured out that much after Cyborg accidentally picked up a weak signal being broadcast to anyone who got close enough.

That was the only real way anyone had to check up on everyone trapped inside and in a way Tim was kind of glad it was mainly focused on his friends and the meta kid Bart had been trying to introduce to everyone cause he had constant proof they were alive. Everyone else wasn't as lucky.

He was also mostly annoyed though cause the League couldn't even damage the stupid barrier anymore. They'd cracked it once, but that just seemed to annoy whatever was powering the thing because it spread out for miles in every direction in response to the Justice League's attempts at forcing open a door and ended up swallowing dozens of government agents and heroes who couldn't escape the danger zone in time.

"Any changes?"

"None." Like always.

He knew Dick was just as worried as he was about everyone trapped inside but the glowing green eyesore wasn't reacting to anything anymore.

Science didn't work.

Magic annoyed it.

They'd finally started looking into some of the more off world solutions that were available to them but so far nothing anyone tried seemed to affect it and he should know since he hasn't stopped monitoring the situation.

He's offered up rewards, called in every single favor he's ever been owed as Tim Drake and Red Robin and read up on everything magical he could get his hands on.

He's even hacked every government agency on the planet on the off chance there might have been a possible answer hidden away somewhere and was nowhere near as professional or gentle as he usually was while doing it. He was tired, worried and more than a little angry and didn’t care about how much damage he did to anyone's computer systems as he ripped even the slightest bit of information out of any server he came across taking anything and everything from Waller's own notes on the matter to research material from a rogue sect of the government calling themselves the GIW.

That had led him down a rabbit hole of government conspiracies and cover ups that would have normally kept him busy for weeks but he had passed on the worst of it to the rest of the League and focused on the handful of files they had on an off the books company called Fenton Works.

They apparently had a functional portal with more than enough power to punch a hole between dimensions so hopefully an investigation into them would keep him busy while they waited for a response from the Green Lanterns.

-_- -_- -_-

"You need to stop this Desiree."

"Why, Phantom and his paramour are happy aren't they?"

She already knew the answer since it was her magic wrapping such a large area and her grin only grew as she watched Undergrowth's little champion twitch at her words.

Because Phantom was happy.

He was the happiest he's ever been in a very long time and well out of the way on a long overdue 'vacation'. So what if everyone was taking his absence as an excuse to run a little wild. The avatar of the Speed Force didn't mind and Clockwork wasn't interfering either so she wasn't overstepping anywhere that really mattered since the Ancient of Time usually erased anyone who went too far with his favorite student.

He hadn't even popped in to deliver any of his usual threats when she overheard the little speedster's heartbroken wish so she banished the girl back to Amity Park without a second thought.

They couldn't force her to grant wishes anymore, not after Phantom went out of his way to help alter her curse and their constant whining was starting to get annoying.

If it wasn't Undergrowth's champion then it was the Pharaoh or Phantom's sister.

None of them could take the hint and leave well enough alone.

Cause, the thing is, she left more than enough wiggle room in the wish for Phantom to get free if he ever really wanted to get free and she wasn't sure he did.

Oh, on some level he was probably well aware of something being off about the world but he was purposely ignoring that feeling.

He was happy in the world she shaped around him and his little speedster and Desiree wasn't about to ruin that for either of them.

She'd just head back to her lair if anyone tried.

No one could get to her there, not without wasting a lot of power so maybe she'd finally have a little piece and quit to enjoy her favorite show in peace.

It's not much but I wanted to try and think up a way for Danny to experience his very own version of WandaVision.

Essentially a sad Danny from any kind of reason really but for now I'm just blaming his entire life for this one and a desperately trying to be helpful Bart who has vague memories of a future with Danny get a starring role in a new life that was perfectly prepared just for them at the cost of pretty much everyone else.

I don't remember what it's called but there was a Disney movie about a superhero school so I'm kind of imagining that and a lot of really cheesy musical moments thrown in somewhere while everyone outside of the barrier is left worrying about their friends and family.

I know it's weird, but my mind just comes up with really weird ideas when I'm tired.

[ecemf]

And the Award Goes To... // A Carmen Berzatto Fanfic

18+!! MDNI!!

A/N: When this year started I definitely did not foresee myself writing not only one but two depraved fanfics both about hooking up in award ceremony bathrooms... but here we are.

This one actually took so long and I don't even really know if I like it but I hope y'all enjoy it. Big cheating vibes so if you're not into that don't read. Ok thanks bye!

Summary: As a writer for Vogue, you've been assigned to cover The James Beard Awards this year. This would be great, as your boyfriend is a nominee, if it weren't for the fact that your toxic ex was also nominated for the same goddamn award...

Warnings: cheating, smut, unprotected piv (wrap it before you tap it guys), choking, dom/sub dynamics, bit of degradation, porn with lots of plot, asshole boyfriend, asshole carmy, no usage of y/n

WC: ~5.8k

Enjoy!!

Nerves. That’s all you’ve been feeling this entire week.

When your boss had told you in October that you were assigned to cover the James Beard Awards you were elated. Partially because, you know, it was the goddamn James Beard Awards, but mostly because it would be your first major story at Vogue. You had been a writer for their Food column for a few months at that point, and while it wasn’t exactly as you had imagined it while writing it over and over in your manifestation journal, it wasn’t bad, and you were sure you could work your way up. This story was a chance for you to do so, so why would you pass it up?

What you didn’t know when you accepted the assignment weeks before the nominations came out, was that your new boyfriend, Alex Moore, would be nominated for Best Chef in the Midwest. This wouldn’t have been a problem- in fact quite the opposite -if it weren’t for the fact that your toxic ex who you hadn’t seen in ages was nominated for The Same. Damn. Award.

Now it’s May, and the dreaded day has arrived. You finish applying your vampy lipstick with a shaky hand as you hear Alex yell for you from downstairs. You two have been together for about 10 months now, and it’s been great. Alex is good; he’s stable. Sure he’s a bit egotistical and barely has any free time, but he’s a chef, aren’t they all that way? Alex talks about the future with you, he always calls when he’s tied up at the restaurant, he tells you he loves you.

He’s nothing like your ex, which is a good thing. You think. You love him. You think.

You rush down the stairs with your red Louboutins click-clacking on each wooden step. The shoes had been a six-month anniversary gift from Alex, who apparently didn’t know that anniversary means year. Your boyfriend came from old money which he loved to throw around, especially when it came to spoiling you. He had also purchased the dress you were wearing that night. It wasn’t something you would pick out, but it was nice. Simple and sexy without showing much skin.

“Finally,” he sighs, seeing you make it to the bottom of the stairs, “You look great in that dress. Shoes are a nice touch.”

“Thanks baby,” you say, approaching him where he stands by the counter, “You look hot,”

You go to give him a kiss but he puts his hand up before your lips can reach him, “Hey! Watch it!” He scolds, “I don’t want red lipstick marks all over me when I accept my award tonight, so you’re gonna have to keep it in your pants, nympho,”

You roll your eyes at the nickname, one that he gave you a few weeks into living together. Alex thinks it’s crazy that you want to have sex once (if not maybe two or three times) a day. He’s nothing like your ex.

—

When you arrive at the awards ceremony, your heart is racing. You had been squeezing Alex’s hand like a lifeline the entire ride there; he chalked it up to you being nervous about the work aspect of tonight.

You weave through people hand-in-hand with your boyfriend, saying hello to those you recognized, being introduced to those you didn’t. Currently, you were becoming acquainted with the sommelier from some new fusion place. Alex knew him from college. Or from when he did his training in Belgium? You aren't sure, you weren’t really listening. The only thing you’re focused on tonight is avoiding a very specific nominee. You hope you don’t seem too distracted in this (very boring) conversation.

“I’m gonna go find our seats,” you say to Alex, excusing yourself from the hellish small-talk, “It was great to meet you,” you say to- actually, you never caught her name.

As you saunter through the rows of tables, scanning each place card for you and your lover’s names, you try to calm yourself down. “No sign of him yet,” you think, “Maybe he won’t even come. That would be just like him, not showing up.”

Finally, you find the place card reading “Alex Moore”, but when you look at the table setting next to it, it’s empty. You glance around the table- maybe it blew off the plate? As you scan the surrounding area, you grow a bit concerned. Did they forget to put your name out? Were you even supposed to be there? You had no trouble getting in at the door, but-

“Looking for this?”

You freeze. Of fucking course he found your seat before you could.

You turn on your stiletto to see no one other than your ex-boyfriend, Carmen Berzatto, Executive Chef of The Bear. He stares back at you with your place card between his two fingers like a cigarette. Fitting.

“Please give that back,” you say, doing your best to seem unfazed by his presence.

“Wow,” he responds in mock-offense, “That’s the hello I get after all this time? C’mon, Jig,”

You wince at the nickname. You and Carmen had met while you were bartending in college. He was a regular at your bar, and you were a bright-eyed bushy-tailed 21-year-old hoping to make it as a food writer in the big city. You two bonded over your love of food, and would trade recommendations back and forth for different spots around town. You were the only bartender out of the whole staff who used a jigger (was no one else worried about their ratios??), so before he knew your name he would just call you Jigger, which then got shortened to Jig. Even after he finally asked for your name (and number), and even throughout your 3-year relationship (if you could even call it that), he still called you Jig more than your actual name.

“Hello Carmen,” you reply with a tight smile, extending your hand, “May I please have my place card for my seat?” You ask again.

As he opens his mouth to respond, you hear Alex calling out for you, “Babe!” He quickly walks over to where you and Carmen stand, “Hey, you found our seats?” He turns to look at Carmen, “Hey man, good to see you!” He embraces the chef, and takes a step back, looking at the place card in his hand, “Why do you have my girlfriend’s name in your hand?”

You panic. “Ummm… Carmen here found it on the ground, and he was kind enough to pick it up and come find me with it,” You (not so kindly) snatch the white paper out from between his fingers, “thank you again,” You hope your tone makes it clear that you want him to walk away.

“Find you…” Alex looks between the two of you, obviously confused, “Sorry, do you two know each other?” Shit.

Carmen looks at you, amused. You didn’t tell your boyfriend about him.

“Yeah!” You say, a little too enthusiastically, “Um yeah! I erm, I interviewed Carmen about The Bear for that article a few months back, remember honey?”

Alex looks back at you and thinks for a second. “Oh right, I remember that article,”

You never wrote an article about The Bear.

“And how could I forget such a face,” Carmen chimes in. You try to give him a warning with your eyes, and he seems to receive it when he says, “Well, it’s good to see you both, I should go find my place card this time. Good luck out there tonight, Alex,” He pats your boyfriend on the bicep.

“Hey, you too, man,” Alex responds, grinning. As Carmen walks away, he leans down to you and whispers not-so-discreetly, “He’ll need it,”

You try to ignore the comment as the two of you sit down. Your boyfriend was a good chef, a great chef even, but Carmen was better. When you read through the nominations all those months ago, you knew he would win tonight. As someone who had watched the man in his element, there was no doubt in your mind: Carmen would take home the award.

As people continue to mingle and find their seats, you take a glance around the room. The reception hall was huge, there had to be at least a thousand people in the building. Which is why it’s so painfully ironic that Carmen’s seat is in direct eye-line with yours. As you continue to survey your surroundings, his icy blue eyes meet yours. He was staring at you with a familiar look in his eye, and you try to ignore the knots it was tying your stomach into. You quickly look away, turning your attention back to Alex. He turns to look at you, and you go to give him a quick peck, forgetting your conversation from earlier. He once again stops you, rearing his head back to avoid your lips (or your lipstick, rather, so he claims).

“Sorry, I forgot,” you say dejectedly to your boyfriend, who looks at you like you just tried to stab him, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom really quickly before they get started,” you tell him, touching his arm.

“Okay, my speech won’t be until later in the ceremony, so no rush babe,” your ever so confident man responds.

You grab your purse as you head out of the large room, searching for the bathroom. You wish you could find an usher…

“Looking for the restroom?” Asks a young man in a suit. You nod. “It’s-“

“I can show her,” you hear from behind you as someone takes your arm, and before you know it, Carmen is leading you down the hall.

You quickly pull back from him, “Would you leave me alone?” You say quietly, hoping no one is watching or hearing this, “I am trying to work and enjoy my night, okay? You should do the same,” you start down the hallway again, alone this time.

“Alright…” Carmen says behind you, “the bathroom isn’t that way, just so you know.”

You stop, and turn to face him again, “So then where the fuck were you taking me?” You ask, exasperated.

“Well, if you would let me show you…” Carmen looks at you expectantly.

You stare back at him silently, and finally allow yourself to actually look at him. He looks good. Like, really good. Carmen never dresses up, but when he does, good lord he’s a sight for sore eyes. You indulge, ogling at the way his black dress shirt sits taught against his strong chest. Even under the thick suit he has on, you can see his strong arms. Those arms that used to hold you, throw you around, flip you over, help you bounce up and down on-

“My eyes are up here, y’know,” Carmen says sarcastically, obviously noticing what you were doing.

You ignore his comment and his noticing, “if I follow you to this mystery place will you leave me alone tonight?”

“Is that really what you want?” Carmen responds with a certain edge to his voice. An edge you recognize. An edge you miss.

You gulp. “Yes,” you say quietly.

“You were always a bad liar,” Carmen mutters, walking past you down the hall, “c’mon, Jig,” he says for the second time tonight.

—

After a few more hallways and a flight of stairs, you and Carmen arrive on the roof of the building. As soon as you’re outside, the blonde pulls out a pack of cigarettes, silently offering you one as his hangs out of his mouth.

“No thanks, I quit,” you say, putting your hand up.

“Well look at you, changed woman,” He jokes as he lights his cigarette, “Old Money Moore wasn’t into it?”

You roll your eyes at the jab at your boyfriend, “For your information, I quit before me and Alex even met,” you look down at your shoes and shiver a bit in the evening air, “why are we up here, Carmen?”

“Will you stop calling me that?”

“Stop calling you your name?”

“Yeah, it’s weird. You never used to call me that,” he takes another drag of his cigarette, “I mean, unless we were fighting,”

“So most of the time, actually,” You respond, humorlessly.

“Did we spend most of our time fighting?” The man looks you up and down as he continues to smoke, “As I recall we spent most of our time fucking,” he exhales.

You bring your fingers to your temples, “Oh my God, get to the point,” you glance down at your phone, “the ceremony’s going to start soon, and I really don’t want to miss anything,” you say. And you mean it - you have a goddamn article to write!

“Is he gay?” Carmen smirks at you.

“W- what? Is who gay? What are you talking about?”

“Your ‘boyfriend’,” he makes air-quotes around the word, “Alex, is he gay?”

You have half a mind to just turn around and head back to the ceremony, but you don’t. You’re not sure why. Yes you are.

“Firstly, he is my boyfriend. No need for the air quotes, asshole,” You start, annoyed that you’re even having this stupid conversation, “secondly, no, he is not gay. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a woman, and we’re in a relationship, so,”

“Oh I’ve noticed,” Carmen says, raking his eyes up and down your body, “I was just asking because I watched him refuse to kiss you earlier,” he throws his cigarette on the concrete ground, stubbing it out with his foot, “and any man who refuses to kiss a woman who looks like you, well, I just have to assume he probably isn’t into women,”

Your face goes hot. Half from the embarrassment, half from arousal. Boy was he laying it on thick. You clear your throat and meet his eyes, which you had been avoiding doing since the two of you got alone.

“Not that it’s really any of your business,” you start, narrowing your eyes at Carmen, “but he asked me not to kiss him so that I wouldn’t get lipstick on him for when he-“ you cut yourself off, realizing how ridiculous it sounds out loud.

Carmen chuckles, staring into your soul. You avert your eyes.

“When he what, baby?” He asks, coyly.

“Don’t call me that,” you say sternly. Or at least try to.

Carmen starts walking towards you, slowly. He backs you up against the wall behind you until there’s only a few inches of space between the two of you. You still avoid meeting his eyes.

“Jig, look at me,” he says quietly, and you obey, finally locking eyes with him. He moves even closer to you and puts his hand on the wall above you, caging you in, “he doesn’t want your lipstick on him for when he does what?” Your faces are so close he’s almost whispering. God, you wish he would leave you alone. No you don’t.

“For when he wins the award tonight…” you say, barely loud enough for Carmen to hear. But he obviously does, as he hangs his head and laughs. The tops of his curls nearly touch your nose. You stare up at the sky again, half from embarrassment, half from arousal. He was so goddamn close. You could smell him.

He lifts his head, still chuckling a bit, “that dumbass thinks he’s going to win the award tonight?” He asks you in disbelief, “like seriously?”

You knew Carmen would win the award, there was no doubt about it, but he was being a major asshole. A sexy asshole, but it was a bit much.

“Carmy-” You go to tell him it wouldn’t be impossible for Alex to win, but you freeze when the nickname slips out of your mouth. He smiles devilishly at you.

“There it is,” he says with that shit-eating grin on his face, “say it again,” he whispers, getting his mouth dangerously close to yours.

“Stop it,” you whisper back. His nose nudges yours and you turn your head to the side.

“What’s my name baby?” Carmy murmurs as he ghosts his lips up and down your neck, “Say it again, sweet girl,” he pulls the neckline of your dress to the side and bites down.

“Carmy,” You whine. You grip his shirt, trying to find something to ground you as your ex-boyfriend sucks a mark into your collarbone, “please, I can’t,”

“But you want to,” he smirks as he continues kissing your neck, your insides becoming molten lava, “Alex doesn’t need to worry about your lipstick on his face, baby. You know why?” He pulls back and looks you in your eyes, already glazed-over and needy, “because I’m gonna win that goddamn award,” he grips your waist as he pulls you tightly to him and whispers in your ear, “and then I’m gonna fuck his girlfriend while I wear it.”

You try to catch your breath as he releases you and your back hits the wall. Carmen takes his thumb and runs it over your bottom lip. You think he’s going to put it in your mouth, but he just wipes a bit of the lipstick off of it. You watch in lustful amazement as he then takes the red pigment and rubs it on his neck underneath his collar. He pushes off the wall and without a word leaves you standing up on the roof, alone, soaking through your underwear.

—

“Jeez, did you fall in?” Alex says quietly as you shimmy into your seat. You had missed the beginning of the ceremony. “Are you feeling okay? You look a bit flushed,” he rests a hand on your thigh and you give him a small smile.

“Yeah, sorry, you know women’s bathroom lines…” you say through tight lips, hoping he doesn’t ask any more questions.

Your prayers are answered when your boyfriend simply nods and turns back to the presenters. You turn to see Carmy staring holes through you, with that stupid goddamn smirk on his face. You take a deep breath and try to return your attention to the stage.

—

You sit through a handful of awards and speeches, and finally it comes to the “Best Chef” section of the night. Up first: Midwest. AKA: Your Boyfriend vs. Your Ex. Your heart races as you watch the presenter give a speech about the award and the nominees. He reads off all of the names of the nominees, and your palms sweat as you rest a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

The room is quiet as the announcer says, “And the James Beard Award goes to…”

You inhale.

“…Carmen Berzatto of The Bear!”

You exhale.

Alex curses under his breath and clenches his fists. You try to rub his back but for the third time tonight, he pushes you away. You sit quietly with your hands in your lap as Carmen takes the stage. God, why does he look so good even in stage lighting?

Carmen walks up to the microphone after having the medal placed on him by the presenter.

“Wow. Um, I’d like to thank my team first and foremost, I wouldn’t be able to achieve anything without them. I’d erm, I’d like to specifically thank Sydney Adamu, my sous chef and partner. She really should be the one up here, but I guess I’ll take it,” The crowd laughs along with him, “I’m really grateful for this award and anyone who’s ever eaten at The Bear. Thank you.” He looks dead into your eyes and grabs the medal as he ends his speech, “I can’t wait to wear this thing!”

Everyone laughs except for you, whose face goes beet red. Luckily the lights are dim enough for it not to be an issue, but you can hear the blood pumping in your ears. You turn your attention back to Alex, whose ears had apparently had steam coming out of them for the past two minutes.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” he mutters, “that was supposed to be my award. After all the fucking money my parents donated to this foundation? What a joke.”

You pretend you don’t hear your boyfriend whining like a spoiled brat, “Are you okay?” You ask sweetly, “It’s just an award baby, it doesn’t really mean anything,” you try to replace your hand on his shoulder but he swats it away. Hard.

“Jesus can you not touch me for like five fucking seconds?” He says, pretty loudly, considering they’re in the middle of presenting the Best Chef Northeast award. You look up to see if anyone heard and see Carmy coming down the steps of the stage, clenching his jaw as he watches the interaction. You hold your stinging hand and excuse yourself to the restroom before your tears of anger can spill over.

As you stand in the mirror, dabbing your eyes before any more tears can fall, you hear the bathroom door creak open and the deadbolt turn. Behind you in the mirror appears who else but Carmen fucking Berzatto, wearing that stupid fucking James Beard Award. You stare at him through the mirror, silently.

“Well, aren’t you gonna congratulate me?” He says, walking towards you. You turn around to face him, “C’mon, Jig, nothing?”

You stare at Carmen. You watch the way he stares back. All of today’s events race through your head. All the times your boyfriend rejected you, dismissed you, ignored you. Those moments on the roof, the adrenaline you felt, Carmy’s words ringing through your mind.

“and then I’m gonna fuck his girlfriend while I wear it.”

You reach out and grab the medal on his chest and use it to pull him into you. It’s intense off the bat, a mix of teeth tongue and lips, hands frantically grasping at each other. Carmy grips your neck and your waist as you lace your fingers through his curls and give a tug that earns you a soft moan. You begin kissing down his neck, leaving dark red lipstick marks all over. You push his sport coat off his shoulders and begin undoing the buttons at the top of his shirt.

“Eager, are we?” Carmen teases, helping you in removing his shirt.

“Just shut up and fuck me, Bear,” you respond, bringing his mouth back to yours.

“Mmm,” Carmen pulls away, “what happened to my good girl who used to beg so politely?”

“She only gets fucked once every two weeks so she’s kind of impatient right now,” you say as you continue to place kisses all over Carmy’s upper body and palm at his erection.

“Hold the fuck-“ Carmy pushes you off of him and looks at you with shock on his face, “that asshole only fucks you twice a month??”

You look back at him in all of his glory. His curls messy from your hands, his sculpted form covered in your lipstick marks, his pupils blown, his dick, well, huge. Why did you ever give this up?

“He just doesn’t have a high sex drive he says,” you shrug, putting your hands back onto him, “I don’t really wanna talk right now, Carmy,”

“Does he at least eat you out first?” He looks genuinely perplexed and frightened by this information. How could someone have this masterpiece of a woman under their roof and not be ravaging her at least once a day?

“I asked you to fuck me, not make me laugh, Berzatto,” you deadpan back at the man, “seriously, now you know how much I need this, so please,”

“Oh you need it bad, baby,” Carmen says as he turns you around to face the mirror. He begins unzipping your dress ever so slowly, leaving kisses across every inch of your back. You step out of your dress, left only in your matching bra and underwear along with your red Louboutins. “Turn around,” Carmy orders.

You do so. You look at Carmy through your lashes, feeling equally exposed and terrifyingly aroused. The man growls underneath his breath, just staring at you.

“What a fucking idiot,” he says, before picking you up and placing you on the countertop, “doesn’t fucking realize what he has, rich fucking asshole,” Carmy mutters more nasty things about your boyfriend as he pulls your panties down your legs. He smells the soaked fabric before putting them in the pocket of his trousers. He pulls your legs open and groans loudly. “Jesus, baby, is all this for me?” He runs a finger through your soaked folds, collecting some of your arousal which had been building since you first saw him hours ago.

You squirm atop the counter as Carmy just toys with you. He stares at your vagina with amazement, like it’s a piece of art. Finally, he dives in, licking a flat stripe from your entrance to your clit. You gasp loudly. One of your hands flies to grip onto the counter top while the other finds purchase in the golden curls currently perched between your thighs.

It’s just as good as you remember it. That’s the problem, always has been. The sex is so goddamn good. It’s what kept you crawling back every time Carmen would hurt you for 3 long years. You hated your past self for always giving in, but right now, you understood her completely.

Carmy swirled his tongue around your clit as he inserted two thick fingers into your entrance, curling them just right. The stretch was like nothing else. You let out a beautiful noise, causing him to groan into your pussy, the vibrations adding to the delicious stimulation. You clenched around his fingers as he continued his ministrations, feeling that familiar knot tightening in your lower stomach.

“You gonna give me one?” Carmy says, looking up at you with a soaked face and hungry eyes, “You gonna come all over my fingers, baby?”

“Yes, Carmy, yes, oh my god,” you babble, feeling so close, “please don’t stop baby,”

Carmen raises to his feet while continuing to finger you. He pulls you closer to him, leaning into your ear. “Does that feel good, princess?”

As you moan uncontrollably as you muster a “yes feels good,” but you know the questioning won’t end there.

“Yeah baby?” Carmen adds a third finger and you squeal, “how good does it feel?”

“God it feels so good please don’t stop,”

“Who’s making you feel this good, sweet girl?” He continues to whisper into your ear.

“You Carmy, it’s always you,” you respond breathily, the coil in your stomach moments from snapping.

“Say it again,” Carmen growls.

“Carmy oh my god-“ and with that your vision blanks. Your legs shake as you come harder than you have since… well since the last time you fucked Carmy. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he continues his movements, prolonging your orgasm.

You grip onto his strong shoulders as you come down, resting your forehead against his as he removes his fingers from you.

“Jesus Christ,” you say, as you watch him stick all three fingers into his mouth and suck off your residue. You watch familiarly as he gathers spit in his mouth and grabs your jaw. Knowing the routine, you gladly open your mouth, as he spits in the mixture of the two of you. You moan as you taste yourself mixed with Carmen.

“Swallow,” he demands, holding your throat. And you do. “There’s my good girl,” he says, undoing his belt with one hand, “thought I lost you there, baby,”

You hum contentedly as he continues to hold you by your throat while he pulls his cock out of his pants and boxers. You moan at the sight of the state of it. Veins bulging, tip bright red and leaking, and, well, huge.

Carmen pumps himself a few times before saying, “take your bra off,” letting go of your throat to opt for one of your newly free breasts, “love these fucking tits, god.”

You squeeze your legs together as he strokes himself while playing with your nipples. It’s hot, but you need more. Now.

“Carmy, please,” you said, making your sweetest eyes at him, “I need you so bad,”

“You gonna beg me baby?” He responds with that stupid grin on his face.

“I’ll do anything,” you say, disregarding your pride (and your boyfriend).

“Is that right, angel?” He asks, caressing your face as you nod, lowering his voice, “you’ll do anything for this dick?” He continues stroking it as he looks into your eyes, “you need to get fucked so badly that you’re in here begging me for my cock while your boyfriend’s in the other room. Didn’t realize you were such a slut, baby,”

Your pussy throbs as Carmen continues to taunt you, “yes, I’ll do anything please,” you’re truly so desperate at this point, “please just give me your cock Carmy,”

“Say it,”

“Say what?” You ask, genuinely confused.

“Say you’re my slut,”

You gulp. “I- I’m your slut,”

“And why are you a slut?”

“B-because I’m in here begging for your cock when my boyfriend’s right outside…”

“And why are you begging me for my cock when you have a boyfriend?”

Okay this interrogation was getting old.

“Because it’s so much better, Carmy, please just give me your dick haven’t I been good?”

“You’ve been so good, baby,” Carmy says as he pries open your thighs and buries himself inside of you.

You yelp at the intrusion, not expecting himself to push himself in to the hilt on the first stroke.

Carmen lifts up your right leg and puts it over his shoulder. Then the left. He watches as your tits bounce while you half-lay on the countertop. You watch as his medal bounces on his chest with each thrust. He notices.

“You like that baby?” He asks, snaking a hand down to rub circles on your clit, “you like getting fucked by the best chef in the midwest?”

“Yes Carmy, fuck, just like that,” you moan out, “best dick in the midwest,” you say, somewhat jokingly.

Carmen half-laughs half-growls at the comment, “that’s fucking right, baby, best dick you’ll ever have. That’s why you keep coming back, right? That’s why you’re in here cheating on your stupid fucking boyfriend? Yeah?” With that last comment, he delivers a slap to your clit, causing you to scream and your pussy to clamp down around him.

“Fuck always so tight, princess, always so good for me,” Carmy babbles, getting lost inside of you, “this is my pussy. No one else’s. Say it.”

“It’s- fuck!” You yell as Carmen adjusts his angle, now hitting your G-spot over and over, “It’s your pussy Carmy, fuck! It belongs to you, I belong to you, oh my God don’t stop, please!”

It seems like Carmy misheard you as he stops fucking you and pulls you down off the counter top and kisses you ferociously. He grabs at your ass and you whine at the loss of him inside of you.

“Hold on baby, I’ve got you,” he says against your lips, “just need to do something,” he says, as he lifts off his medal and places it around your neck. You look up at him, confused. “Turn around,” he says, darkly.

You turn around to look at yourself in the mirror. There’s a red mark around your neck from where Carmen was gripping you, your updo from earlier is now mostly down, your chest is littered with small hickies, and between your tits lies a motherfucking James Beard Award.

Carmen pushes on your upper back so that you’re leaning over the counter and re-enters you at a punishing pace. The bathroom is filled with lewd noises of skin slapping skin and moaning. You look up to see Carmen staring at you through the mirror. Except, he’s not looking at your face, he’s staring at your tits. Wait. No. He’s staring at the medal bouncing with your tits.

Carmen looks into your eyes through the mirror, “yeah look at you,” he growls, somehow pushing into you even faster now, “my girl wearing my fucking award. Jesus Christ look at that,” he watches intently as the piece of silver bounces off of your chest with each thrust he delivers, “fuck, who’s the best baby?”

“It’s you, Carmy, you’re the best,” you moan out in response, “you’re the best,”

Carmen reaches around you and grabs the medal, but keeps the ribbon around your neck. He pulls on it just enough that your back arches and your head falls onto his shoulder. The new angle this creates is mind-blowing, and you once again moan all too loudly. Carmen litters kisses and bites along the shell of your ear.

“I’m so close baby,” he strains into your ear, “want you to come with me,”

With that he takes his free hand and resumes his work on your clit. The combination of the dragging of his thick cock over your G-spot over and over again with the tight circles he’s rubbing into you has you barreling towards your second orgasm. Knowing your body the way he does, Carmy can tell, and he tries his best to time his release with yours.

With one final stroke, you’re coming undone on Carmy’s dick, throat still held tight by the ribbon of his award. Carmen stutters as he comes inside of you with a groan, holding your hips in a way that will bruise as he paints your insides, the warmth adding to your intense pleasure. You both come down from your highs with a collection of sighs and moans, and finally, Carmy pulls out of you. You whimper at the loss of contact and the feeling of him leaking out of you.

Wordlessly, you begin to dress yourself again. You don’t even bother asking Carmen for your panties back, that’s an argument you’ve lost to him enough times already. You zip your dress back up, Carmen silently helping you get it to the top as he too works on making himself decent again. You attempt to fix your hair looking in the mirror, getting it back to a somewhat similar state to when you arrived earlier this evening. You smooth out your dress, and go to walk out of the bathroom when Carmen clears his throat.

“You, um,” he looks at the floor before making that piercing eye contact he’s so good at, “you deserve better, you know, than that asshole,”

You stare back at the man you loved for so many years. The man you still love today. He was right, you did deserve better. Better than Alex, but better than him, too. You nod back at him with tears in your eyes.

“Congratulations on your award, Carmen,” you say quietly. You walk out of the bathroom, back to the ceremony.

[faetthorn]

New information about Dybowski's position at IPL

Alexey Luchin, former Ice Pick Lodge employee, has come forward backing up Renata's claims with additional accusations of grooming and additional abuse. Here's his full statement:

This clarifies the question of Dybowski's position at Ice Pick Lodge, since according to Luchin, he's still in a creative position and fully involved in the company, and he's only claiming to have sold IPL away/severed ties with it to avoid alimony payments in court.

Nikolay formally removed himself from the company (IPL) in a legal sense, in order to avoid paying adequate alimony. The payments on the screenshots are as low as 100$, which isn't nearly enough. [...] He's still working, the maneur [sic] is only to avoid alimony. Though I must say, these days the team is "carrying" him mostly. New Ice-Pick Lodge is great, there are lots of motivated people who gre up on old Ice-Pick games and are doing their very best!

This coupled with various claims about former students of Dybowski's working at IPL and being abused by him gives us a clearer picture that the situation at the studio is incredibly complicated, with both people being actively victimized by him and others knowingly protecting him by keeping their silence. This situation also means Dybowski might be getting paid under the table.

As good as it is that we now have a former IPL employee taking a solid stance against Dybowski, there's some things to keep in mind for the sake of protecting present and future SA victims.

Alexey Luchin is not a hero, he's someone who, intentionally or not, still helped Dybowski by keeping his silence and now finally had the decency to come forward about his abuse. He apparently "knew Dybowski well", and kept quiet about what he did for years until he found out Dybowski had targeted his girlfriend. If there's anything to take from this situation is that abusers don't get away with their behavior on their own. They have a social, legal, political net supporting them, keeping their secrets and that's the reason they're allowed to offend again, for years, with no repercussions. I'm glad Luchin is helping Dybowski's victims but he shouldn't be congratulated and hailed for doing something he should have done years ago.

Additionally, Ice Pick Lodge as a whole has proven to not be transparent about their activities, from smaller things such as incorrect crediting of artists working on their projects (as pointed out by Luchin himself in the linked post: "Though my work is uncredited on both Pathologics ironically, but also I'm falsely credited on Knock-Knock, which I haven't worked on."), to the incredibly shady situation of Dybowski's position in the company, to the fact that Luchin has also mentioned in the same post that Dybowski hasn't been very involved in the company since The Void (2008), although he had extensive credited participation on Pathologic 2 (2019), aside from still talking about Pathologic 3 on panels and interviews as recently as last month. Adding to this, IPL also doesn't list all of their games on their website as is the case with Franz (2023), a mobile game that centers on themes of promoting abuse and misogyny.

This to say, we should all be waiting for a formal statement about this situation, but keep in mind that statement will possibly never come and the IPL management will instead choose to wait for this to be swept under the rug as it already was in the past. Be aware also that due to IPL's lack of transparency, this possible statement might be a smokescreen and they might keep Dybowski working as an uncredited employee. We should only stop pressuring IPL when there's definitive proof, documented and backed with comments from other employees, that he's been fired from the studio. Until then, while I still stress any members of IPL should not be harassed and must be treated respectfully, I personally still encourage a financial boycott of IPL since I refuse to keep monetarily enabling an abuser and a company management that has proven to be incredibly lenient not only with Dybowski's actions but also with the messages he promotes in his projects which match his person. I wish the employees he victimized healing and a bright future.

[bespoke-nautilus]

Professor Vaisce looked mildly confused. Confused, but not alarmed, which was odd, considering they were standing in the midst of a blazing forest fire in one of the oldest growth forests on the planet.

He was shuffling through an unorganized stack of papers, looking for all the world as though he was standing in the front of a lecture hall and had forgotten his notes.

Instead of being soot-stained and standing surrounded by crackling blaze that was making short work of the Sequoia Grove.

Tag just stared at her mentor. "Did. Did you do this, Dr. Vice?" Her voice shook a little. It was probably the smoke that was making her hoarse. "Did you set the grove on fire!?"

A charred, cracked trunk, bigger around than the professor himself, finally gave up the fight and came crashing to the ground in the distance, sending up a cloud of smoke and embers. The professor startled, looking up from his papers. "Hmm? Oh, the fire, yes." Tag couldn't see the professor's eyes. The flames surrounding the clearing were causing odd reflections in his spectacles. Dr. Vaisce looked more like a demon right now, soot-black fur and pits of orange light where his eyes should be. "All according to plan, my girl! No need to worry!" He patted Tag on the shoulder. An anemic attempt at reassurance. "After all, surely that new hero, Mayhem, wasn't it?, shall be along shortly! Always seems to be around these parts, yes?"

"Besides, the powers that be generally need a bit of spectacle to be convinced to change their ways, yes?" He chuckled, "And what better way to showcase the mismanagement of these forests than a bit of conflagration!"

Tag's mouth hung open, astounded, "So you DID do...all this!?" She gestured around at the forest, aglow in a hellish blaze, "But Professor! This is...too much, it's all gotten out of hand!" She scrubbed at her face, probably smearing ash further across her cheeks. She didn't care at this point.

Wait. Her classmates! Had they gotten out!?

"Professor! Where is the rest of the class! Did..." an uncertain pause, "Did you...do something to them!?"

To his credit, the doctor looked a bit chastened. Hurt, even? "What? Of course not! Those students are under my care! I do not shirk my duties!"

He glanced around, hand falling back to his side. "I suppose there could be other hikers about, but I did ensure that our trip was scheduled during the off season, so as to limit any casualties." The professor took off his glasses, smearing the round lenses with a handkerchief in an attempt to remove some of the soot. "Quite upsetting, but sacrifices must be made, at times!" He smiled paternally at his ward, eyes crinkling up at the corners. "Class 17b will be quite all right, however, do not worry! Mx. Ishii is escorting them out as we speak!"

Shouts began echoing from the trailhead

"Ah! Here they come now!" The rest of Tag's class came pouring down the trail, seemingly mostly unharmed, if scraped up and singed. "See? Perfectly well!"

The languid form of the TA slunk around the corner, apparently assisting one of the more injured teens. They brightened, a snaggletoothed grin spreading across their face, "Oh, there you are, professor! And you've even managed to locate our slipperiest pupil? Little Tag! I am pleased to see you safe." They handed off the limping student and walked over, "So. This whole fire business seems quite daunting! I don't know how the fire marshalls will handle it!"

Mx. Mallon Ishii practically purred as they leaned a bit too close to Tag, whispering into her ear with a smirk, "That seems like a problem for you, yes?"

A shiver ran down Tag's spine as she jerked away from the older figure, eyes wide, and stuttered, "Wh...what do you mean!? I don't know how I would do anything to this!"

One of the better off students, Eric, jogged up to the group, "Professor! Mx. Ishii found a safe trail out! Do you need any assistance?"

Dr. Vaisce looked at the boy a bit vacantly. "Hm? Oh! No, I think I, Mx. Ishii, and my protege here will see if we can save any samples from the immediate environs, and catch up to you all! Do be safe, dear boy!" He patted the man on the shoulder, dusting off a bit of ash.

Eric looked a bit confused, but seemed to shake it off, and replied, "Um. Okay, Dr. Vaisce. If you're sure? I'll come back in 5, if I don't see you, then..." He jogged back to the stragglers of the group, most of which had disappeared around the curve on the opposite side of the clearing.

The professor watched after him, murmuring, "Good lad." His focus shifted back to Tag as the rest of Class 17b made their way out of the clearing, his eyes losing the warmth from a few seconds ago.

"So. Ms. Tag. Perhaps you should 'make a call' to your hero friend?"

Tag's eyes grew even wider and a strangled, loud, "What!?", emerged. She tried again. "I mean. What do you mean? What, um 'Hero Friend'?"

The professor cocked his head, eyes narrowing. "Hm. I suppose you can keep up the charade, then. The clock is ticking, however."

Mx. Ishii sidled up to the doctor, resting a pointy elbow on his shoulder, "Yup! Ms. Mayhem should probably hurry, unless she wants this all to spread! The fire is spectacularly large!" They cackled, which was swiftly cut off by a hand grasping their throat.

The professor squeezed a bit harder, lifting Mallon's gangly form a bit off the ground. "Yes, Malice, this IS a rather large conflagration, and yet, I distinctly remember specifying a small one." Ishii's hands clawed at their throat, making a strangled noise. "Well, what have you to say for yourself?"

Another choking attempt at speech.

"Why, what is wrong, dear partner?" A cruel smile cracked the doctor's face. "Cat got your tongue?"

He dropped his assistant, who came to rest in a heap, gasping. In a strained voice, "Well, Doctor, to be fair, you did assign the firebug to set fires." They grinned, "Surely you expected something of the sort!"

The doctor sighed, and reached out a hand to help up the taller cat. "Hm. Well, perhaps we shall have do some further training with you." He looked at Mal fondly, "Whatever shall I do with you, my dear?"

Ishii took his hand and a smile played about their lips, "Oh, you shall have to punish me, I suppose!"

Straightening themselves, the two older cats turned to Tag, eyeing her impassively.

Tag was lost in a whirl of emotions. Adrenaline pumping, confusion running high, she stared at her mentors.

"Did. Did you just call them...Malice?"

The professor's amused golden eyes bored into hers. "Of course, dear girl. I would have expected you to figure such things out by now!" He pursed his lips, "But perhaps you are not quite the hero I thought."

He turned and began walking towards the clearing exit at a leisurely pace. "Come along, Malice, we have much to do!"

"Coming, Doctor!" Ishii turned back to Tag and purred, "Well, now would be the time to, heh, 'call' your friend Mayhem, I think! Good luck with all the fire!" Turning, they jogged back to the professor, and hooked their arm through his.

When the two had fully vanished amongst the burning trees, Tag let out a shuddering breath that she hadn't been aware she was holding.

And then her brain caught up.

Oh. They knew.

Her mentors knew.

Her mentors were also, apparently, Dr. Vice and Malice.

So the two villains who'd been tormenting her since her unintentional debut knew.

Dr. Vice, and his insane assistant, Malice, knew the secret identity of Ms. Mayhem.

meanwhile, vice looks like a mildly confused professor turned evil in front of the last sequoia: hmmm? oh yes, the fire. on purpose. according to plan. mostly. i think, let me check my notes....

and malice: oh the fire? yes, i suppose that might be a problem. for you.

You're right.

[mymelodylvr]

clingy!jj x reader

jj maybank might be the neediest man you’ve ever met.

at first, you were always the one clinging on to him in the relationship. but the second he got attached to you, the switch completely flipped. for the past week, he’d been following you around like a lost puppy - falling asleep holding you like his life depended on it. you’d have to remind him that you weren’t going anywhere (and that he couldn’t hold you that tight because you couldn’t breathe). but in all honesty, it was cute, and you didn’t mind his semi-weird antics all. but the more he latched on to you, like he was scared that you’d leave him, the more worried you got.

it was a typical sunday night for you and jj. john b was out on one adventure or another with sarah, and dragged pope along with him. kie, not wanting to be a third weel, went with them (can you blame her?). luckily for you, this meant you and j could stay at the chateau without anyone bothering you. you two decided on rewatching some saw-type movie that grossed you out, but he liked it, so who cares.

you’re sitting on jogn b.’s old and lumpy couch, constantly squirming to find a comfortable spot. unfortunately, jj was lying on you

“stop moving, I’m trying to watch”

you hardly ever see him like this - so focused. it was on people dying in the most gruesome ways somebody could think of, but it’s still nice to see him calm.

“jayj, you’ve seen this 50 times, I think you can miss a second while I’m trying to get comfortable on this old, stupid sofa” you say, letting out a yawn.

“you’re cranky.”

“I’m not.”

“you so are.” you could fight him on this, but the way he grinned while looking up at you with those perfect eyes? you couldn’t get mad if you tried. so you place a wet kiss to his forehead and start to wriggle free of his arms, to your dismay, he didn’t budge.

“I gotta go to the bathroom” you laugh out.

“so hold it” he grunted, half-paying attention to the movie, and half paying attention to peppering kisses on your stomach. as you giggle, finally freeing yourself from his grasp, you stand up, and instantly- his focus is completely on you. you don’t see him like this often. you knew that he knew that you were just going to the bathroom. at least logically, he had to know that. but those damn puppydog eyes, you couldn’t pull yourself away from them. this led you to saying one of the weirdest things you had said in that relationship that far.

“um - baby?”

“yeah?”

“do you want to come with me?”

it was almost a look of relief that washed over him, leaving you more confused as he held your hips walking to the bathroom.

“jay, why did you want to come in here with me?” a weird thing to say while flushing. “can’t let you out my sight for a second, pretty, someone’ll, grab you” he jokes. but you’re not sure if it’s a joke. “jayj.. you know I’m not going anywhere right? you need to know that.” again, a weird thing to say while in a bathroom. “yeah, I know, obviously, obviously you aren’t” he forces out a laugh, sniffling too much for you too believe him.

for a split second you debate hugging him, having not washed your hands. why were you having this conversation in a bathroom? and for another second it’s quiet. thats when you hug him.

“I am not going anywhere, maybank, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” you say, giggling at the end. you can tell he wants to cry, or say something, but wont let himself. thats’s okay for now - you know it’ll come sooner or later.

after a few seconds of a warm embrace, you hear a laugh.

“it’s pretty gross that you didn’t wash your hands, ma” your jaw drops, letting out a laugh, before slapping him playfully and going to wash your hands.

“you’re so sassy”

“you love it” he replies quickly, as you turn the sink on and grab the soap,

“maybe I do, what are you going to do about it” you say, smirking to yourself, as you finish what you were doing and turn off the water. his hands find your hips, met with a gasp from you.

“don’t wanna finish the movie?”

“nah, apparently I’ve seen it like fifty times anyways”

A/N: I kind of hate this, but it's cute? obviously very cringe, but it's obx fanfiction, it's hard not to be? idk

[it-happened-one-fic]

Twisted Weddings: Photoshoot #4 - Such a Blessing - Kalim

Summary: Your fourth photoshoot was with Kalim and actually involved an outfit traditional to Scalding Sands culture. And, fittingly, you ended up recreating a wedding picture of Kalim’s parents as a light rain started to fall over you both.

Type: Female reader/ 800 Followers Event/ Series/ sfw/ fluff/

Twisted Weddings Series Masterlist

Word count: 904

Crewel tilted his head, frowning slightly as he looked between me and the perfectly giddy Kalim, who already had my hand clasped in his warm one.

“I wasn’t sure about designing a bridal outfit that is more traditional to the Scalding Sands, but…. I think it’s worked out rather nicely,” Crewel finally nodded as he spoke, and I glanced down at the shirt and skirt, or rather, lehenga, that I wore.

Brilliant red with shiny gold embroidery covering both the short-sleeved bodice and the perfectly massive lehenga skirt that had about three layers in total.

“I think it looks great! If you want, I can give you some more jewelry to wear with it to complete the look!” Kalim looked between me and Crewel excitedly.

Both of us shook our heads hurriedly, apparently agreeing that I was already bedecked in enough gold, even as Kalim frowned in obvious confusion before he quickly recovered, “So what are we going to be doing?”

Crewel tilted his head as he eyed us, “Hmm, I was considering something that would show off the full breadth of the skirt, but now that we’re here……”

“I could kiss Y/n on the cheek!” I blinked at Kalim’s words in surprise, turning to look his way as he outright beamed at Crewel, who stared back at him in surprise that was similar to mine.

Kalim continued though, happily explaining himself as he glanced between me and our instructor, “I’ve seen my parent’s wedding pictures, and one of my mom’s favorites has my dad kissing her on the cheek! She always looks so happy when she sees that picture. In fact, her smile is the exact same as the one she has in the picture!”

Crewel nodded, still looking half-surprised as his gaze met mine and I lifted my shoulder in a half-shrug, largely unbothered by Kalim’s suggestions. It wasn’t like it would be the first time he gave me a kiss of some sort to display his occasionally overwhelming affection,  “Well, it sounds like a cute enough picture; it’s your line of wedding clothes, though.”

“No, it suits me if you’re fine with it.” The instructor shook his head at my words as he continued, “I’ll go tell the photographer, so you two can get in position whenever you’re ready.”

I felt myself smile slightly as I glanced back over towards Kalim only to find the young man already smiling brightly at me.

His hand found mine, clasping it tightly as he continued to beam, “Mom’ll be so happy when she sees these pictures! I bet she’ll want to meet you and everything!”

I felt myself chuckle slightly at his joyful nature even as I tilted my head at him, “Did you already tell your parents that you were going to be a model for Crewel’s line of bridal clothes?”

He shook his head, laughing in that perfectly carefree nature of his, “Nah, but my mom likes looking at wedding dresses, so I know she’ll see the images! She says wedding pictures make her happy.”

“We’re going to have to take these pictures quickly since it’s getting overcast. Are you two ready?” I straightened at the photographer's words. But he was right. Dark clouds were already overhead, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it would mess up the lighting for the pictures.

At odds with worries, Kalim was wholly unbothered as he glanced up towards the heavens above us, “Oh, do you think it’ll rain? That would make for a really great picture!”

I glanced at him, half-confused by his words as I frowned slightly, tilting my head at the perpetually bubbly young man, “Because a rainy wedding day is supposed to be good luck?”

He laughed at my words, shaking his head, “No, I just think it would be nice. Rain is always such a blessing after all.”

His red eyes were bright as he grinned at me. Almost brighter than the red of my outfit, and I felt myself smile at his words. Idly wondering how he could be quite so positive about everything, even as I nodded, finding myself squeezing his hand slightly as I spoke, “Let’s hope for the best then.”

He squeezed my hand lightly in return, his expression briefly softening before he looked back over towards where Crewel and the photographer both stood and waved with his free hand, “We’re ready!”

The photographer gave a thumbs up and held up his camera at almost the same time it started to drizzle.

And though I had no idea how he managed to time it quite so perfectly, Kalim tugged me over and kissed me lightly on the cheek, causing me to laugh slightly at his eagerness at the precise moment that the camera flashed. Capturing and immortalizing the moment for eternity as Kalim burst into laughter from beside me.

Wholly unbothered by the rain that was steadily picking up even as Crewel shook his head at us with a distinctly fond smile. But at this point, I felt like most people were fond of Kalim.

Because when it came right down to it, it was hard to be frustrated with Kalim, and the young man always seemed to cause people to smile when he was nearby.

And even without either Crewel or the photographer saying anything as they both peered at the picture on the camera’s screen, I had no doubts that the photograph was perfect.

If you would like to read more:

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[mythalism]

the timing of someone apparently shitting on me for being a veilguard hater on some remote corner of tumblr is so funny because i was actually just in the shower like an hour before listening to the atonement ending suite and thinking about the things that i love about veilguard after almost 2 months of marinating on it, so apologies for destroying my reputation as a certified HATER!!!!!!! but i actually wanted to share these earlier so im still going to. i think its interesting especially because ive seen a lot of people that hate these same things about the game, but my opinion has stayed the same. its also interesting because OVERALL the more i think about veilguard the more i dislike it, but for these certain aspects, the more i think about them the more i love them.

THAT FUCKING SONG!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! even two months later i get choked up listening to it. and guys....... i dont listen to lost elf anymore. like i just dont even think of it. thats not to say trevor morris isnt the greatest of all time, and the atonement ending song relies heavily on lost elf. i know. but my favorite parts of the atonement song are not even lost elf!!! overall i missed trevor deeply, i did not like the veilguard soundtrack. i even turned the music volume to 0 at some points because it felt like nails on a chalkboard to me (ghilannain fight music made me want to d*e). HOWEVER. this is supposed to be positive. and if you ask me to choose lost elf vs atonement theme... im choosing atonement theme. every time. the way it adds to lost elf is wonderful. it gives me chills. it is so haunting. i will never tire of it. I LOVE THIS FUCKING SOOOOOONG. i also love the dread wolf song. so honorable mention to that one.

i love the solavellan ending. i know people hate it but nothing i have seen has convinced me to abandon my love for it. it is the best ending we could have possibly gotten in a game where the veil stayed up. and yes obviously i think the veil should have come down. but my IDEAL ending would have been veil down, rook takes over the mantle of dread wolf, solas and lavellan give up their mortal bodies and become spirits together and ascend to the fade. and honestly thats pretty much what happens, just without the veil. i love the mythological fairy tale vibe. i love the bittersweetness. i love that it is both tragic and hopeful. i love that it is vague enough to leave the future open. i love that the devs refuse to confirm where exactly in the fade they are. i love the sigyn loki eros psyche parallels. i love the maker and andraste parallels. could it have been built up to better? absolutely. but thats an issue with the build up, not the ending. i thought solas was going to die and we were going to watch the light go out of his eyes as lavellan held him and sobbed. it is so much more hopeful than i expected. i love that we get to redeem him through the power of love. i love that lavellan forgives him. i love that they survive. I LOVE IT!!!! and i love it the more i think about it. ive tried to hate it because i understand the perspective of people who didnt like it, but i literally cannot make myself dislike it.

i love the solavellan ending scene itself. i love how inky creeps in through the door. dont ask how she got up there its fine. i love how she sneaks up on him. i love that she comes up those stairs and it parallels the prologue scene with varric. i love that she has a zinger ready for him. "even if those you have wronged asked you to stop?" oh its so fucking good. i love his pathetic defeated "vhenan". i love that he rejects her again. i love that he apologizes but stays true to his goals. i love that it takes something beyond lavellan and the modern world to finally crack him. i love the way he looks at mythal like a kicked puppy. i love the way he cannot meet her eyes. i love the way he crumples and sobs and we see a completely different side of him that I NEVER FUCKING EXPECTED TO SEE IN A MILLION YEARS???? i love mythal's coldness and frankness as she releases him. i love that she doesn't apologize. i love how fucked up and messy it is. i love how it speaks to their entire relationship being fucked up and messy. i love that it has given me so much to chew on about what the fuck was going on with them. i love the way lavellan kneels so she can see his face. i love that she speaks in elvhen (even if the translation leaves something to be desired). i love that its all in the hallelujah cadence. i love that he assumes she wont come with him. i love that she has to chase after him one more time. i love his fucking tear mesh. i love his face when he looks at her. i love that their scene is wedding coded. i dont love the kiss but im trying to be positive and its tiny in the grand scheme. i love her hand on his shoulder as they step into the fade. i have a few complaints about the scene but none of them are enough to cheapen my enjoyment of it.

i fucking love fragment mythal. obviously. but seriously. i love the scene where you get her approval its one of my favorites in the entire game. i love that its hard to get her approval. i love that she fucking kills you if you piss her off. i love her lines. "after he killed the swamp witch. AND WEPT." BITCH!!!! and "you are a thousand years from knowing the correct words" or whatever. I LOVE HER. i love how fucking nasty she is. i love how she has clearly been stewing in resentment for thousands of years. i love that she is rude and proud and haughty. i love that she'd be looking down her nose at you if she wasn't like 5 ft tall. i love the way she falls backwards off the ledge with her arms out and closes her eyes to transform into a fucking dragon. i love her condescension. i love the decapitated wolf statues in the background. i love the note from felassan that reveals solas made her an entire island for herself. i love that she reveals that he put her there. i love that he could not bring himself to visit her even once. ohhhhh my god it makes me dizzy. talking to her was a moment where the game felt like dragon age to me.

i love my lavellan in this game. did i want WAY more of her? yeah. and i expected more. but every moment we got i loved. the first scene with her is mostly whatever its appropriately formal for her meeting a stranger. but the way she stutters when talking about solas? when asking rook to give him a chance by using the wolf statue to learn more about him? the way she looks down and to the side as she says it? banger. masterpiece. the act 3 conversation makes me have to lay down. i can barely even talk about it without foaming at the mouth. i love her characterization. i love that she orders rook to tell her something like she has gotten used to the power of her title as inquisitor. i love her subtle desperation to have her hope for him validated cloaked under her inquisitor mask. i love how it begins to crack as the conversation goes on and she gets lost in the memories of him. i love her sincerity. i love the way she speaks bluntly and unapologetically of her love. i love her facial expressions and her furrowed brow. i love how confident and self assured she is. "or maybe im the prideful one, imagining his broken heart so that i do not have to face my folly; that i loved someone who made such terrible mistakes. that i might love him still" IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE GAME. perhaps. PERHAPS. in all of dragon age. yes im serious. its that insane to me. it feels like shakespeare wrote it. im only half kidding. i was rolling on the floor of my bedroom when i heard it. it still gives me chills. i love that her lines are in the hallelujah cadence. i love the way she talks about their relationship. i love how she is angry and indignant about his lies to her but that does not infringe upon her love. i love when she says "how could i have fallen in love with a god and not known? why didnt he tell me?' i love how sure she is that she knows the true solas. i love every word out of her mouth. i love all of it. that is my favorite scene in the game. i love when she shows up with dorian in the end. i love "is there any chance, any chance at all that he'd listen to reason?" i love her face when she says it. i love "speaking from the heart, inquisitor?" i love when dorian asks if shes heading out afterwards and she says "something like that" BE SOOOO FRRRR. SHE WAS FUCKING SCHEMING. there was not a moment that she was on screen that i did not love.

overall, i am happy with solas in this game. this one is last because its the weakest because i do criticisms but overall, i think it was fine LOL. my biggest worry was that they were going to completely woobify him and make him above reproach and erase the negative sides of him in favor of making him MORE sympathetic to new players. the fact that we got the opposite is crazy, but i vastly prefer it. id rather have him be too villainous than robbed of his complexity to be more palatable. that would have fully ruined the game for me. so the fact that we got to see him being an absolute prick little shit who betrayed us TWICE was wonderful. i loved being betrayed. i love the scene where he puts rook in the regret prison. i LOVE how he appears behind rooks shoulder in flashes and the player can see him but rook cant. i love how he circles rook like prey. i love how he does that cunty little thing with his hand over the dagger. i love that he taunts rook. i love that he doesnt actually take the dagger from them and instead waits for it to fall into his hand. its so immortal trickster god. i love that fucking scene. i love the "by my hand" line and how he looks you in the face as he manipulates his words so expertly. i love his banters with the companions. i looooooooved listening to him beef with elgar'nan. it felt so HIM. i was like YES!!!! THIS IS THE DREAD WOLF I WANTED TO MEET!!!! i was screaming during that quest. anyway. i wanted more of him. yeah. i dont really care that much that the companions and general story is weirdly unsympathetic to him. because it obviously didnt work!!! LMFAOOO 72% people still decided to redeem him so whatever! hes still pookie. im just so glad they didnt make him boring and lame. all my issues along this vein revolve more around the veil than solas, so i consider it a separate issue. i loved seeing mean nasty cunty trickster god.

ok in retrospect this list isnt that long KJHREGKJERG. however all of these things are very important to me so the fact that i love them is essential. like i truly got what i needed out of this game. i criticize it a lot but i would have done that even if the game was a 9/10 for me. i do it to literally everything i love. except fmab because its above reproach. but literally everything else. i was writing essays criticizing the percy jackson books on tumblr when i was 15. i have been criticizing dragon age online for 5+ years. veilguard aint special in catching my heat. critical analysis is in my soul. anyway i wanted banger solavellan ending that i could chew on for years and i got it. thats all i needed! ok now going to go listen to atonement ending suite again and transcend into the astral plane

[angelpuns]

50AU Part 34/Finale

Donnie would like to say that the worst 10 minutes of his life was when he had to watch as Leo sacrifice himself with no way to stop him. 

He would like to say that. 

But now that he'd seen Leo's memory of that moment, watching his twin throw himself into another dimension was taking second to this moment. 

The moment in which he described what had happened during the curse to Leo. 

Because he could have lied. He wasn't good at it, but he could have at least tried to lie. It would keep Leo from worrying about the things he had done during the curse, and it would keep Donnie from having to tell him about what happened during the memory spell. 

Except, Leo looked so tired. And Donnie was sick of lying to him. 

And he was fairly certain Leo would find a way to learn the truth on his own, anyway, whether Donnie wanted him to or not. 

He slowly went through the events of the curse. How well the first day had gone, how Leo had ran the second one. How he'd been injured and just kept running,  and how they had been so sure they got through to him. Only for Leo to have been acting. 

It felt like so much when he was saying it aloud, but it…it really had only been a week. 

And barely even that. But so much had happened that it felt like forever. 

Leo's face fell as Donnie kept going, as he described what had happened day by day.

As he suspected, Leo had found out about their fight on his own. Leo hadn't said anything until Donnie brought up the fight, so it was a little surprising when he interrupted. 

“ And then I-” 

“ Did it hurt?” Leo asked, voice small. He had shrunken in the booth, shoulders hunched and eyes staring down at the table, “ When I…when I attacked you?” .

Donnie blinked. He lightly touched his beak, which was thankfully no longer tender. It had hurt a lot, but Leo already looked so guilty. 

“ No, it didn't hurt-”

“ why are you lying?” He hissed, glancing up to make eye contact with Donnie, “ don't lie, Dee, I- I would be fucking scared of me, too”

Scared? 

Leo thought they were scared? Of him? 

It was almost laughable, really, but Donnie had enough self control to keep himself serious. 

“...is that what this is about? You think we're scared of you?” He asked, unable to keep the humor out of his voice. Nothing about the situation was funny, but for Leo to think they were scared of him was- well, it was downright hilarious. 

Leo didn't seem to agree, though, looking away guiltily. 

“ Lee, c'mon, as if any of us could be scared,” He tried, “ It was pretty wild to see you so…violent, don't get me wrong, but-”

“ But I hurt you! And-and apparently I hurt Mikey and Raph, too!” Leo retorted, suddenly sitting up again, “ I mean- I-I could have seriously injured one of you or even-”

He snapped his mouth shut and shook his head, like he didn't really want to say it. 

Donnie sighed, “ Look, ‘Nardo, that wasn't really you, I mean, you were cursed-”

“ You don't get it! That- That was still me!” Leo hissed, throwing his hands up in the air, “I am angry! And violent! And- and terrible!”

“Leo, we're not scared of you, even if you are like that, it-it doesn't matter, we know you didn't mean to!” Donnie protested. 

He wasn't really sure where all this had come from. Leo claiming to be angry and violent. Sure, Donnie had seen Leo get mad before. And he could really get mad. But it wasn't like he couldn't control it. 

Donnie remembered when they were kids and Leo would get so mad he'd just cry. He'd be so upset that it wouldn’t have anywhere to go, and he'd just burst into tears and run away. 

Once, Donnie had followed him to try and apologize, only to walk in on Leo throwing his things off his bed and screaming into a pillow. So Donnie of all people knew his twin could get mad. 

“Raph gets mad all the time, and we're not scared of him, right?” Donnie tried, “ you're not scared of Raph, are you?”

“‘Course not…” Leo murmured. He rested his forehead on the table. 

 “ ….Even though Raph tried to…to kill you? During the invasion…?” 

They both looked up at the voice, Donnie blinking in surprise. Raph and Mikey had shown up almost out of nowhere. Right. Donnie forgot to leave a note. 

“ Raph….I'd never be scared of you,” Leo sighed, “ that's- it's different- ” 

“ Its not. Leo, we get that you were still yourself during the curse,” Mikey said matter of factly, “ But the point is that you didn't know it was us. If you had actually believed us, would you have done any of those things?” 

Leo scoffed, “ of course I wouldn't!” 

“ Okay, then, it's settled. We're not scared of you, and we have no reason to be. Got it?” 

Leo frowned, but nodded a bit. 

He looked up at Donnie. 

A small part of him was hoping Leo would be satisfied and not ask to hear more, especially not the whole ‘ went into his memory and accidentally saw some shit’, but he knee his dum-dum twin wouldn't be satisfied. He wouldn't have been either, if he were in Leo's shoes. 

“ Donnie, what happened after that?” 

Donnie took a deep breath, “ Let's- before we get into that let's go home…” 

Leo glanced around, seemingly just noticing that they were the only ones left in the restaurant, save for Hueso and Leo's….boyfriend watching from the kitchen. 

“Shit, I forgot about- uh, lemme apologize to Hueso and uh- “ His cheeks flushed as he gestured to the waiter, Donnie unable to hold back a snort. It was a little funny that Leo thought they didn't know. About him being gay, that is. He’d actually hid his boyfriend pretty well, even from Donnie. 

They watched as Leo hurried over to Hueso and apologized, the skeleton waving it off like he had last time. Donnie planned on giving him a full kitchen remodel to make up for all the damage they kept doing to his restaurant.  

Then, Leo turned to the waiter and pulled him into a tight, squeezing hug. He glanced back at his brothers with red cheeks before giving the waiter a peck on the cheek and hurrying back to their side. 

“ Ohohoooo, Looks like Leo's got some explaining to doo~” Mikey teased,  “ Dude, Raph is gonna hunt that waiter down and give him the shovel talk!” 

“ Raph is not!” Raph retorted, glancing at Leo, “ unless he ain't treatin’ you right already. then Raph'll have to talk to him,” 

“ Oh my god can we please just go?” Leo whined, already cutting open a portal, “ I didn't plan on having so many emotional talks tonight and I just wanna get this one over with,” 

Raph and Mikey stepped into the portal, Donnie starting after them. 

He was…scared. Scared that once Leo found what he did, he'd never forgive them. Never forgive Donnie. 

It made him shudder with anxiety, wringing his hands as Leo followed him through the portal. They emerged in the living room, Mikey and Raph already taking up two of the beanbags. 

Leo closed the portal and slumped into Dad's chair.  Donnie swallowed down the nausea at the sight. 

“ Okay, chop chop Dee, I want to get all the emotional talking out so then you all can tease me about Yuichi and all that and we can all go back to normal, ‘kay?” Leo sighed, looking far too comfortable in the chair that they'd trapped him in. Twice. 

“ Well..well, after that, Draxum finished the potion and…” Donnie started, starring to pace. His fingers ached with how hard he kept squeezing him, but it was the only thing keeping him from just running away.  He hated this he hated this he hated this! 

He hated that he didn't know how Leo would react. Obviously he didn't give a shit if Leo decided to fight him again. That would make sense, at least. 

But it would hurt more knowing that Leo was well within his rights to just…dedide he didn't want to interact with Donnie ever again. That he wasn't to be trusted. That Donnie could never be trusted with anything again now that he'd done this. 

Leo could be understanding, sure. But he was the king of holding grudges. Rest assured that if this upset Leo, Donnie would be living in the aftermath of it for..probably forever. 

But he could not keep lying about stuff to his already confused twin, he couldn't keep breaking promises. 

He described the whole memory spell, that Draxum had modified it so they could stay there longer, that they first had cleansed the memory of him falling off the roof. 

“ and then we were….it was your memory of the invasion, back when…when you decided to…” Donnie swallowed back his anxiety. He was pacing back and forth. He'd been doing so as he spoke, afraid that if he sat down he wouldn't be able to say it. He couldn't stop to watch Leo's expression, to try and puzzle out his reaction to what Donnie said. He had to keep moving or he'd never be able to say it. 

“ But- something happened. We were too far, the item was your sword, and- and you were about to portal into the prison dimension,” Donnie sighed, rubbing at his arms thoughtlessly. He finally stopped and looked at his twin. 

His expression was like something out of a drama. Wide-eyed realization set in. Leo blinked, staring at him incredulously. 

He smiled faintly, a lopsided, shaky thing that was nothing like Leo's usual smirk or even his more rare, soft smile. This one didn't fit his face right, didn't curve in the right way, it hardly looked real. 

“ You…didn’t. You wouldn't…” he chuckled, standing up off the couch and stepping up to Donnie. He put his hands on Donnie's shoulders, grip not overly tight, but definitely noticeable. Like he was purposefully holding back, “ Donnie, please tell me you didn’t,”

Donnie sighed shakily, “ I didn't have a choice,” 

Leo’s strange, crooked smile cracked into a shaky frown, his expression changing a thousand miles a minute. It didn't take the years of practice Donnie had had trying to interpret his expressions to know that Leo was angry. He pushed away from Donnie - the softshell only stumbling a little. It wasn't nearly as hard as Leo could have pushed him. 

His hands shook with the effort it must have taken to hold back. The mask of control sliding down before Donnie had the opportunity to see Leo get angry again. Not that he wanted to, but it wasn't as if it would be a strange occurrence now. Not after the curse, anyway. 

“ You- you promised,” Leo bit out, taking a few steps back. His eyes were glassy, like he might cry. It had been years since Donnie had seen Leo cry out of frustration like that. He was sure it had happened, but never in the view of anyone else.

“ you promised you wouldn't- you wouldn’t ask about that anymore, but you just had to know, didn't you, ‘Tello?” He bit out, voice shaking with barely contained anger, “ You just- you just had to see it, huh? Co-couldn't even wait to ask again?” 

“ It- it wasn't on purpose! I had to get the sword, and you were already teleporting, and I couldn't- I couldn't get out!” Donnie retorted, knowing he must have sounded desperate. But he needed Leo to understand it was an accident, “ I tried not to look, I-I promise, but you made me!” 

“I made you?” Leo scoffed, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was laughing, throwing his arms up in the air at what must have felt like a cruel joke, “ oh I'm sure! I'm sure I made you follow me in, made you watch as I- as he-” 

He shut himself up, snapping his mouth closed and shaking his head. 

“ I never wanted you to see that,” He bit out, “ I would never want anyone to see that”

“ I didn't mean you as in- as in you- you,” Donnie sighed. He felt so defeated. He was so tired still, even if things were fine again. Because they didn't feel fine. Leo was mad at him. Mad at him. And rightfully so, but…it still hurt. 

Sure, Donnie had been avoiding him lately. He just…he hadn't wanted to tell Leo what happened. He thought maybe if they didn't talk, Donnie wouldn't have the opportunity to tell Leo what he'd done. And eventually they'd all forget and move on. 

“ your…the inner Leo made me watch. I promise, I tried to-”

“Oh so now you're saying that-that I must have subconsciously wanted you to see it!? I bet you told Mikey and Raph everything, didn't you!?” Leo chuckled, eyes unfocused. He was hardly even looking at Donnie anymore, pacing back and forth in a way that mirrored what Donnie had been doing before, though it was far more erratic, “ I bet everyone knows now how - how broken I am and how scared I was and-”

“I’m not saying- I-I didn't tell them!” Donnie cut him off, grabbing Leo's arm to stop him, “ Leo, I didn't want to- I didn't mean to see it, I promise! I’m sorry, it-it was a mistake!” 

Leo wrenched his arm away with a scowl, eyes still unfocused. Like he wasn't really listening. “ you promise, huh?” 

It was silent for a moment, Donnie unsure what to say that hadn't already been said. 

“I need..I need to go..” He murmured, turning away, “ Please, don't…don’t try and- I just need to be alone…’ 

He still had his sword on him from his impromptu pizza trip, and he quickly cut a portal and stepped through it. Donnie just stood there. 

He didn't know what to do anymore. How to fix it. He'd finally managed to fix the curse but how was he supposed to fix what he'd done? It had been an accident, but still. 

He glanced back to Mikey and Raph, who were watching the entire thing with concern. 

“ You guys…i think-  I think I really messed up..” 

Donnie didn't tell them what he'd seen. He didn't dare fuck that up again. But he did tell Raph and Mikey about the promise he made with Leo, about how he had purposefully kept the truth from his twin the entire week. And about how Leo had found his security tapes from before. 

He almost wanted to delete them, to get rid of any evidence that Leo had been…. But he didn't touch them. If Leo wanted to know the truth, he should be able to see it for himself. 

“He’s never gonna forgive me…” Donnie murmured, now cradling a cup of tea. Mikey was making breakfast, even if it was a little too early. He'd urged them all to eat something, even if Donnie was especially not hungry. 

It had barely been an hour, not even that, but it felt like Leo was going to be mad at him forever. And he couldn't fix it. He didn't know how anymore. He didn't know Leo anymore. 

It all just kept circling back to the same thing. If he had done better. If he had paid more attention to the changes Leo was going through. If he had been able to keep Leo from hurting him or if he had been faster or if- 

He didn't know. It was done, now, but he wished he could just go back and-and maybe even take the hit. It was his fault they were fighting in witchtown in the first place. At least if he had forgotten his family, it wouldn't have been- well, wouldn't it have? 

Leo was better at reading people, though. And a much better strategist. He could have kept Donnie from doing anything too permanent, kept him from running off. 

Ugh, this was getting them nowhere! Wishing things were different just made everything feel worse. He needed to find a way to fix it, not dwell on it further. 

“ D'you think Leo hates me?” He asked, not realizing he'd said aloud until Raph reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“ Nah, he doesn't hate you,”  Raph rumbled, squeezing Donnie's shoulder a bit, “he’ll figure out it wasn't your fault soon enough,” 

Donnie nodded, though the thought didn't comfort him. It was his fault, after all. He'd thought he could get the sword. Not to mention Leo was so stubborn, he was probably never going to forgive Donnie. 

“ Yeah, maybe..” Was all he said, knowing full well that Leo probably did hate him and would never forgive him and- 

He sighed, and took a sip of tea. 

There was no fixing this, was there? 

Leo only ignored him for a couple of days. He'd bounced between a couple of random beaches on the West Coast before returning that same night. Donnie watched his tracker for a while that first day. How he seemed to be pacing a lot. Like he was deciding whether or not to forgive Donnie. 

Which, he shouldn't. Except when he was doing that open and honest thing with Mikey, Mikey told him not to think like that. Because it wasn't his fault, even though Donnie was pretty sure it was. 

As much as he hated discussing his feelings, it kind of…helped. A little. It made him less sure that Leo was going to hate him forever, at least. But not entirely sure, as he would have liked to been. 

Finally, after two days of the cold shoulder, Leo came and knocked on his lab door. Donnie was trying to distract himself with work, but he'd been having trouble with the coding on Shelldon 4.0 and it was leaving him more frustrated than distracted. 

Then again, he'd been trying to replicate Sheldon for nearly 6 months now with hardly any progress. That would frustrate anybody. 

“ I took a nap earlier, Raph, I'm not going to bed anytime soon!” He sighed, knowing it was probably Raph trying to get him to sleep, like he usually did. He did nap earlier, so at least he wasn't lying. 

“ Not Raph,” 

Donnie turned to see Leo standing in the doorway instead, leaning up against the frame with a faint frown. 

“ oh..” Donnie didn't know what to say. He could apologize again, but he didn't know if it would make things better or worse. He couldn’t tell what Leo was thinking. It seemed he could never tell these days. 

Leo sighed and shut the door behind him, stepping into the lab without invitation. Not that he needed it. As much as Donnie liked to protest his presence, he never really minded it. He would lock the door if he didn't want Leo to come in, after all. 

“ So…I’ve been thinking..” Leo murmured, rubbing at his arms a bit, “ I don't…I don't think its…that terrible that you…saw everything…”

Donnie blinked in surprise. It was about the last thing he thought Leo would say, especially knowing how well Leo held a grudge. 

“ I just mean- maybe it's…not so bad to have someone else know and all…” He continued, “ cause- cause at least someone else can tell me it was real. And it’s okay to be…upset and- ughhh, this is too real for me right now!” 

He ran a hand down his face and looked at Donnie. 

“ I just- I don't want you to, like, pity me or- or- think I'm…weak or fucking whatever..” He muttered, cheeks pink, “ cause I survived, didn't I? And- and I’m fine, so-” 

Donnie chuckled faintly. He dropped what he was doing and buried his face in his hands. He wanted to scream. 

“ I didn't think that for even a second,” He sighed, leaning back in his chair, “ Leo, you may be an idiot, but you're one of the strongest idiots I know. Slash SRS on the strongest part and slash j on the idiot part, just in case that wasn't clear” 

Leo snorted, leaning against Donnie's desk, “We’re not really good at this open and honest stuff, are we?” 

“ No, and I never claimed to be,” Donnie sighed. He stood up and opened his arms for a hug. He kind of needed it himself, actually. 

Leo gave him a tight squeeze back and they stood in the silence of the lab together for another moment before Donnie finally, lightly pushed him away. 

“ Okay, enough lovey-dovey twin stuff,” Donnie sighed, “ are you…mad at me?” 

He hated that he couldn't tell just from the hug alone, but he needed to know. He needed to know Leo wasn't gonna hate him forever, even if he seemed to have forgiven the action. 

“ No, I'm not mad at you,” Leo sighed, “ I just want..I want everything to go back to normal. I know it…it probably won't, but I can dream, right?” 

Donnie sighed, slumping back into his chair, “i don't think it will go back to Normal normal. But…I will try my best to make it feel that way,”

Leo leaned back against his desk with a faint smile, crossing his arms and watching as Donnie got back to work. 

And it was about as normal as it could have been. 

No curse. No grudges. No looming worries, for now. 

---

this is not a great ending, I am super aware of that, but sometimes it's good to just finish the thing. I do wanna write a REAL fic for 50au, okay? And I will eventually. This was a decent start at the very least.

So that's how it ends. Keepin' it open ended was a good idea methinks. The google doc for this is lik 50,000 words (minus the 1000 for the OTHER outline i did at the beginning) and like 130 pages so yay?

Enjoy (or don't)

part 1 | Part 33

[alisha-on-arcane]

It's a cliche 'cos it's true: forgiveness and the cycle of violence in Arcane

I do think a lot of Zaun-aligned Arcane fans find the themes of forgiveness quite hard, particularly forgiveness when great wrong has been done. But.... it's not really forgiveness if no wrong has been done, is it? And by season 2, there's some major forgiveness needed. Piltover's Council has done Zaun wrong, and Zaunites have committed terrorist attacks against Piltover citizens who weren't responsible for the actions of their government. The whole situation there is so messed up that any attempt to allocate justice will most likely create new aggressors out of innocent people on both sides, as Jayce's attack led to Renni's attack, and Renni's (and Jinx's) attacks led to Caitlyn's attacks, and Caitlyn's use of the Gray led to Jinx rerouting it back to Piltover's citizens...

The Jinx - Vi storyline is not really relevant to that. It's nice that the sisters reached first a sort of peace (Jinx watching Vi at the pit fights, betting on her but not coming to talk) and then finally resumed a sort of relationship. But then Jinx just died / left, so all that really happened from the forgiveness was that they both got some closure. That's a great resolution for individual people who can simply get over one another, but it doesn't work for cities that are geographically next to each other. They share a water supply! They could have different governments, but those governments would still have to work together.

The storyline relevant to that is Zaundads. I still think it's weirdly out of character to give Silco (even blissed-out and somewhat inebriated AU Silco) the line "the greatest thing we can do in life is to forgive", but it works thematically. Because what Vander did to Silco was unforgiveable (seriously, rewatch the drowning scene), and no sane person would advise Silco to resume that relationship. But we also know that main timeline Silco was miserably hung up on Vander until his dying day, while AU Silco apparently gets Vander making him cocktails every evening and doing unspeakably pleasant things with him every night. Forgiveness might not be deserved by Vander, but it certainly was the best thing for Silco to do for himself.

... and that's the way with the two populations at war, isn't it? I'm sure the Silco-Vander reconciliation was nowhere near as simple as 'Silco reads the letter, forgives' (for one thing I don't think Silco would have, or should have, simply abandoned his Shimmer plans). And the new combined Piltover-Zaun Council has huge arguments ahead of it, and will probably never reach gazing-into-one-anothers'-eyes-lovingly levels of amity. I bloody well hope their first agenda items are a huge Zaun infrastructure bill, an agreement on more equitable policing, and a joint task force to legalise medical Shimmer. It's unlikely. But I still think that like Silco and Vander, they can build a happier future by working together than apart. They don't really have any good alternatives.

[inhuman-obey-me]

The End Times

Well, here we are. The final lessons have been released, all in a flurry. It's been interesting times, y'all.

JK, they said the world of OM will continue, and we're not going away either. We still love our demonic dumbasses. This is, however, the last lesson of the apps. And, uh, we didn't talk about the last 3 before this either, considering the flurry.

So, maybe for one last time: let's get into it.

(spoilers up to NB Lesson 60)

Nightbringer

The first thing to address here, perhaps, is truly: for splitting off a whole ass second app titled Nightbringer, they really didn't tell us anything about him in the end, huh!

We never did get the answers to what he wanted out of our second set of pacts, what his deal with Solomon was, what his overall goals are, or who he even is. He just showed up, we got some early info on him, and then he basically fucked off for the majority of season 2 and basically all of season 3. At least they did end on a nice little message from him, though, echoing the start of the game...

So will we eventually get the answer to ANY of those major questions? The world may never know...

A Celestial Shitshow

What we do get, first, is the resolution of the whole Raphael arc of this season -- at least, the closest they could come to giving us a resolution.

We do not get a precise answer to what he felt or thought in the moment of Michael refusing to even try to appeal to Father on Simeon's behalf, which he was seemingly so unable to confront at the end of 55. However, after the collapse of Babel, Lucifer and Simeon go to talk to him again, more calmly this time.

The source of Raphael's distress comes down to loneliness. Like Simeon, he remarks how quiet it became in the Celestial Realm when the brothers, apparently the only loudmouth troublemakers that ever existed there, fell after the war. With the possibility of Simeon also becoming a demon, Raphael felt incredibly lonely at the thought of losing another former seraph and friend from the Celestial Realm.

Luke comes up to chime in about being there for Raphael, and Simeon realizes he doesn't want to just leave those "two kids" alone to fend for themselves. With that decided, he concludes that he is not so fine with becoming a demon after all, because he wants to return to the Celestial Realm for their sakes.

MC, with the help of Lucifer's power, then breaks through Babel's projection of collapse, which had reflected Raphael's distraught feelings, to restore it to its actual not-destroyed state, and further uses their new protection powers to return everyone to the Devildom. More on that later!

Also, Michael is a dick again. Raphael is set to be punished for the whole Babel thing, and Michael basically plans to let that happen, until Simeon threatens to "hold it against him" as a grudge. Which is hilarious, because Simeon has no real power or anything against Michael at this point, but angy Simeon is so scary, Michael apparently backs off.

Anyway, setting all the all of that aside, there's also still more SF to get through.

Three Worlds-building Science

In the process of restoring Babel, MC and Lucifer conveniently also remove all the demonic powers/energy from Simeon, so that works out nicely! He's no longer "demonic." However, of course, this couldn't just be such a nice simple wrap-up as that, so next, we get a whole bunch of lore-contradictory worldbuilding around the way cells work for each type of being!

It turns out, while angels and demons both have homogenous cells which are purely one or the other, human cells can actually transform into either one, in the right conditions. And although all demonic energy has been cleared out of Simeon, he apparently still has some of those transformed demonic cells, and it's possible he will have his demonic cells activate or start to transform again in the future. Plus, even with his decision that he wanted to return to the Celestial Realm after all, it's not really in anyone's control out of the cast to do that for him, and the Celestial Realm would not allow him back if he has any demonic cells.

This brings up some pretty terrible implications about the Celestial Realm, which we're not sure were the devs' intentions exactly, but which become implied nonetheless. After all, Simeon's punishment was to become a human, but if it's a known fact that humans can turn demonic and they would refuse to take him back with any demonic cells, even dormant ones, that's just a really shitty trap of a situation! Plus, they were able to convert his cells from angelic ones to human ones, so if they have the ability to change him at a cellular level, why can't they just purge the demonic cells from him in the process of changing him back to an angel? Lucifer has specifically noted before on his transformation to a demon that he supposed that was his punishment, so that also seems to have been a punishment inflicted by God, implying the ability to also manipulate the brothers at a cellular level into demons! And if human cells can become angel ones as well, what does that mean for Simeon's punishment of becoming human? Could the punishment be undercut by his cells naturally turning back to angel cells? Come on, devs, it's called consistency!!

But hey, it's not like this series has been particularly consistent on its lore in the past either...

Anyway, the Science Fair is still going on -- and Leviathan has a mad scientist moment, coming across a unique potion that could help with restoring Simeon back to a more fully human state, ridding his body of any dormant demonic cells! The problem is it requires three very rare and hard to procure ingredients, but it turns out Solomon had also thought about this potion a while back, so he conveniently already has two of the three rare ingredients! Part of the reason Solomon never brought it up before, however, is that the potion only has a 60% success rate and is known to have some pretty bad side effects including the briefest mention of possibly even death???, and with how complicated Simeon's feelings had been up to this point, it didn't feel like there had been a good time to bring all that up.

Deciding that Simeon can decide for himself if he wants to take the risk after the potion is ready, we have a little adventure to obtain the third ingredient that places us back in the Starfall, which we visited during our time in the past. We momentarily have to avoid the subject of the past as Leviathan recalls that you were there, but is brushed off as misremembering because that wouldn't make sense, after all! Haha...ha...

Leviathan makes the potion for the Science Fair, and then Lucifer and MC keep Simeon company while he takes it. Simeon begins to succumb to the potion's effects pretty quickly, but Lucifer steps in to try and take the pain from Simeon and transfer it to him -- with MC then also stepping in to help share it. Simeon ends up not suffering as much, but is still knocked out with a fever for a bit.

Upon waking from his fever and analysis of his cells and some other genetic science, Simeon has now returned to his fully human state, meaning that he should be able to get back to the Celestial Realm! -- if they'll have him.

The end of the game seems to initially imply that he might be reinstated as an angel -- but the very last text we see is that Simeon will be opening up the Angel's Halo again in the human world. So is Simeon still a human? Did he become an angel again but they have him stationed in the human world?? No clear answer!!! Why would they ever end the final lesson on giving us any clear conclusions? Nope, never, and so here we are with no more lessons and yet another big fuckin' cliffhanger.

Well, they did say there are new projects in progress, at least...

Anyway, Later is Now

So, back to MC and how overpowered we've become.

Through this last season, there has been a focus on how much stronger MC has become, especially when it comes to their protective/defensive magic. We know it's because of the double-pacts, but that is a secret from most of the cast to avoid space-time fuckery.

In Babel, MC is able to control this magic for the first time. As mentioned above, we use our pact with Lucifer to break out of the illusion created by Raphael's breakdown, which also clears Simeon of his demonic energy. MC then uses their power, with some guidance by Solomon, to get out of Babel and return everyone to the Devildom.

That's a great sign, as otherwise MC has had zero control over this power activating. Of course, that means we have to use it one last time as the game comes to an end -- but this time, on the moon.

That's right. The Devildom moon is really into MC and is on a crash course to the Devildom (hi Majora's Mask) to also get some of that sweet, sweet MC power. Our cast gets thrust into having to deal with the situation as the final Science Fair competition, because the Research Institute is basically giving them the responsibility (with the House of Lords being ridiculous and not getting the news to Diavolo faster because, um, they suck).

Satan wonders if MC's protection power can be used here and stop the moon on its crash course, so of course that is what we are going to do. Solomon leads you up into the sky, and after a pep talk, leaves you to choose one of the brothers to help carry out this mission. Whichever brother you choose ends up getting knocked out in the process, to protect you. After a few days, we find out how to wake them back up and yay, they're conscious again!

With that handled, it's time for the classic OM tradition, throwing a goodbye party for the exchange students!! PARTY TIME! Everything's good now! Hurray!!!

Does this all seem rushed? Sure. Does it reek of them hurrying to tie up loose ends because this is the last lesson? Yup. How much of this was actually planned in this messy rushed way from the start anyway? Who knows! Did they also leave us on that big Simeon cliffhanger anyway, for funsies? Abso-fucking-lutely.

But that's it for the last 4 lessons! After 5 years, finally, MC has completed all of their tasks...congrats to us!!! 🥹

Now to wait for whatever new projects are coming next...