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weirdmageddon · 1 year ago

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ur davejade posting has me Remembering and goddddd. theyre so good. thank u

i want to make a davejade analysis masterpost but the funniest thing with these asks is that theyre the ones that really prompt me to put my thoughts together in some direction and i ALWAYS find a new implication or connection to talk about. like while i’m writing the connections will just make themselves known. if i made a masterpost i’d have to update it every time i think of something new which defeats the purpose of a masterpost because it’d never be finished. so i just like to spitball into separate posts and just shove them in my davejade tag. i was NOT expecting to get back into homestuck with davejade at the forefront but i can see things now i didnt then

im gonna go off again because it’s so obvious to me on this jumpy scrambled “reread” that dave has a fat fucking heart-on / affection erection for jade. hes tryin soo hard to be cool but hes like this with jade actually behind the screen and she knows it

words and deeds of a court jester dude who totally has a crush on his childhood internet friend and doesnt acknowledge it (btw this is woefully incomplete for the sake of brevity but i could elaborate in another post. i actually have a draft (edit: posted) with a shit ton of more analysis stuff in it on why he acts differently with her than other characters):

the next day (chronologically) when jade messages him:

hussie commentary: “Dave's one-pixel-smile there means that there are literally more than ten thousand drawings on the internet of Dave and Jade kissing. That pixel literally made that happen.”

i mean … it sure is easy to assume how he feels about jade based on the way he talks to her and when his sprite only ever smiles one other time in the entire fucking comic and the reality of that other one was arguable since it was during [S] Karkat: Mental breakdown and its likely karkat was hallucinating it based on the content and context of the flash

nah this one was real. and it was from the first conversation we saw between dave and jade in the comic and thus set the standard for their dynamic. and remember old school 2009 dave was kind of a menace so it says a lot

this girl was special enough to him to warrant that pixel

jade calling dave a “huge baby” for him getting nervous about a piss while she’s his server player. he makes such a big deal about it while shes like oh my god just go:

and the absurdity of the situation being one of his favorite memories

i know pesterquest isn’t “canon” canon but it passes my character essence check and still contributes something of substance to my argument. like i can say this is not at all out of place if these characters were plopped into these scenarios. remember this takes place on the same day as the above, 4/13/2009. theyre the same age as above and have the same relationship as they did above, just in a different scenario that wasn’t possible in canon wherein they didn’t play sburb

Jade wanders away from that window and toward another one, whose view is exclusively centered on the rolling blue. She presses a hand against the misty pane and sighs. JADE: you know, dave talks a lot about coming to visit me here. i mean, all of my friends do but dave especially JADE: in his usual davey way of course, which means making lots of jokes and not sounding very serious about it JADE: "yeah im itching to put on my safari hat and come traipsing down to doomdeath archipelago to get my ass murdered by infinidog the eldritch retriever," stuff like that JADE: i know he really means it though! he wants to see me, just like i want to see him JADE: but its just wishful thinking

anyway daves reaction to seeing his isolated online friend for the first time irl cry because she has guests. its even better with the character sprites

JADE: we can play with all my toys and jam out to some music and stay up all night chatting with each other and oh my god oh my god youre here youre all here this is really happening!!!!! Jade's next laugh verges on hysterical and she's got tears streaked down her cheeks. Dave looks a little perturbed. DAVE: wow holy shit uh DAVE: its cool jade no need to get so DAVE: like this DAVE: kind of fucks me up seeing you cry DAVE: not that im trying to make this all about me DAVE: i mean uh

and so after mspa reader’s intervention, who do we see with jade the next time we see her?

dave. and hes goofing with her squiddles while grinning

DAVE: okay so lets see what we got here Jade's room is bright and cheery, fresh flowers in the hanging pots, curtains pulled open wide to let in the afternoon sunlight. Jade sits on her bed while Dave paces in front of a line of squiddle toys, carefully assembled in neat ranks. DAVE: this blue one is clearly in charge look at his dominant posture DAVE: also hes the only motherfucker not tentacle deep in his homie DAVE: hes an untangled buddy that is some shit really cuts to the core of like DAVE: DAVE: emotions JADE: its actually because the magnets in him are messed up, and always have been!! DAVE: harley you are ruining the magic come on

basically what im putting together is that dave was REALLY fixin to spend some time with jade. extending into her sphere of interests that he doesnt express much with anyone else; you can tell he really wanted to engage with her in a less irony poisoned way. he’s softer with her than his other friends and god forbid the trolls, he is much less skeptical about things when talking to her (he even questions why he just seems to go along with her eccentric precognitive statements but he doesnt change his attitude about it), he showers her with his music and raps to the point where jade is expectant of getting poetry from him. rap IS poetry. please realize that dave is sending her his poetry, regardless of how goofy it may be. this is the level on which im viewing this at and once you realize this theres no going back. there comes a time in every homestuck’s life where they have to see how dave interacted jade and conclude that he had a cute little puppy crush on her unbeknownst to either of them. and it was adorable. and now, in the year 2023, it’s your time to realize this too. no going back.

and btw it all came back around…………………nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face

for a reason that wasnt a joke anymore

don’t think ive seen anyone talk about this parallel at the end to one of their first conversations in the comic. maybe somebody did back in the day but i never saw it

#davejade #homestuck #dave strider #jade harley #hs

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1d1195 · 9 months ago

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SAM MY LOVE I MISSED YOU SO MUCHHHHH!!!!😭 it felt so weird not being able to talk to you😭 how are you my love?!? How was your break?!?

AHHHH SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON BESTIE!!!

And you’re right we really are so similar that I honestly did not take it in a bad way! If anything I always appreciate your insight! Exams were hell but like it’s whatever at this point lol I have one last round of midterms in two weeks before my finals so I will be ✨suppressing✨ my feelings on that until I’m done bahaha BUT OMG I QUESTION MY FRIENDS CHOICES TOO BAHAHA I have had a history girl…. It’s a lot for sure for another day lol AND OMG SAM HOT PROFESSOR 😵‍💫 he’s sooooo omg I could cry bc he’s so hot and I seriously always spiral in class lol he puts effort in his fits but like still does not look exaggerated anyways idk if I mentioned before but HES A BIKER!!! And he’s so sweet and he always ends class with “see ya later gang” like 😭 THE DILF VIBES THAT HE EMITTS ARE CRAZY😭

Yeah I can totally agree with obsessions and the TOLL that it is lol like I feel so bad for my parents that they wasted so much money on me shopping at hot topic 😭 anyways still was fun though lol I definitely wish I had that energy again bc I simply cannot keep up anymore lol

Bestie I read part 3 and IT WAS SO GOOD !! SO MANY THOUGHTS HONESTLY oh and I read the sun kissed extra!!! So many thoughts!!! I will try to get my main points and reactions bc I feel like I wrote already too much lol

I LITERALLY WAS SO EXCITED FOR SUN KISSED EXTRA!!! I voted for that one and was surprised that it wasn’t voted on too much :( BUT IT WAS DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE BC I LOVE ALL OF THEM! Anyways I MISSED THEM SO MUCH I LITERALLY LOVE THAT STORY SOLEY BC WHERE IM FROM THE BEACH IS A BIG DEAL! Anyways I can’t believe they are moving together and Harry literally transferred to her district 😭😭😭 CRYYYYYYYY I HOPE WE CAN GET MORE OF THEM!

NOW PART 3 WAS SOOOO GOOD!!! You know I love when Harry gets jealous and possessive😵‍💫 and omg TELL ME WHY I HAVE A KYLE IN KY LIFE BAHAHAH but Kyle was so cute and honestly kinda loved he stood up for the MC and essentially was ready to go to war for her🥰 bahah anyways THEY ARE OFFICIAL NOW WHICH IS SO CUTE!!! I LOVE THEM QND IM LIVING THEOUGH THEM RN!!! I have a Kyle and all I need is a Harry 😩

Missed you so much Sam! Thank you for constantly putting out such lovely content❤️-💜

HIIIIII I've missed you SOOOOO much. I hope your exams went well, I'm sure you aced them! That seems so crazy you have midterms and you're already thinking about finals! I feel like the semester just started! I knew you were busy all week but by Friday I literally was like "Ughhh where is she!?" My break was good! Very boring, nothing to really chat about. I finished a book last week and I'm about half way through this one--it's very good. I actually think YOU would like the book I finished because I did not hahahahahahahaha don't get me wrong it was VERY well written and I did like it, but it was so stressful and not what I usually read. The Lost Girls of Willowbrook. Very creepy in my opinion.

ANYWAY.

YOU DID MENTION HE WAS A BIKER BUT I ALWAYS APPRECIATE THE REMINDER. We love a well-dressed DILF. I'm so glad you're able to learn in that environment. I would be a stuttering mess and would probs do something embarrassing like tell him I loved him or write our names together in a notebook. Did you see the pics of Harry at Manchester soccer game? He looked very DILF-y too🤤😍 I was spiraling myself.

HOT TOPIC I'M SCREAMING. I got my Edward shirt from Hot Topic and I wore it every night to bed like a a LUNATIC. (Now much more appropriately, I wear my Harry's House to bed and do NOT feel like a lunatic). But you're right I do not have the energy anymore. The CONSPIRACIES and THEORIES people have I am so overwhelmed, I don't know what to say. I'm not a Swiftie (not an anti-Swiftie either) but HOLY COW. "She wore purple so that means--" "The date adds up to the number 13" "In 2010 on this date she posted this so in 2024 that means this" ?????? THAT'S CRAZY, but like good for them. I'm in awe tbh.

Aw! I'm so glad you voted for them! I have another round of voting coming this week and I feel like it will be VERY split five different ways hahahaha I'm a beach girl as well! I feel like it's one of the only things I have a good grasp on writing about because it was so entrenched in my childhood. I don't know if I have any other ideas for them at the moment (I feel like all the couples I've been writing about lately/voted on are getting engaged this week and next week 🤭 --spoiler/not spoiler: not MFT they're just babies). But I can try and come up with something eventually. I gotta reshare my draft list so everyone can see inside my head, it's getting wilder by the minute.

I'm currently writing the 4th part to MFT and I feel like the first two parts were really good and parts 3 and 4 are very 🤷‍♀️ I'm so glad you liked Kyle! (I wanted to name him Noah actually but I think I mentioned I'm a big Noah Kahan fan right now and it was too coincidental; I noticed when I had his character say "that makes a lot of sense" and I was like "okay, Samantha, that's a literal song lyric, make it more obvious." So I renamed him Kyle). Idk if you read Icebreaker (it was very big on TikTok for a while) Kyle is modeled after Henry a bit. He's a cutie pie 😊

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR KYLE!?!?!?!?! 😍

SO happy to hear from you, hope you had a relaxing weekend after a busy week, sorry for the novel rambling in response but you should not feel bad about writing too much. It's always the highlight of my day when I get a message from you! 💕

xoxo

#💜#my friend's toyota #sun-kissed

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xnchxntmxnt · 2 years ago

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,,, 500 AAAAAAAA!! long-awaited, v well deserved milestone omghasjam??? i think i met u just around when u hit 400?? :0 not sure not sure, v glad i got to meet u, will be here for all milestones in the future !! anyways,,, wah . CONGRATULATIONS AAAA

event,, event,, tumbles over . i feel like u know me well enough to know who i am req for but!! xiao, reader insert!! um, a song? would be angels like you - miley cyrus. the genre being,, uh,, angst. aha. ahahahahj. i think i'll leave the trope/au up to u !!

again again, cONGRATULATIONS? big milestone!! only bigger ones to come, yes? hugs u super tight then runs away

babe i am in love with the way you talk this is so animated i love it

Angels Like You

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Character: Xiao

Warnings: College au, slightly suggestive content at the end (its nothing much tho), angst w/no happy ending/an open ending. Slightly ooc xiao bc i kinda made him an asshole im sorry (not really), not proofread & written during a bad writers block hit

Notes: i had such high hopes for this and then it died. but hey i do hope u like it ily babe <3 /p

gn!reader

Reblogs > likes

I know that you're wrong for me Gonna wish we never met on the day I leave I brought you down to your knees 'Cause they say that misery loves company

12:13 AM.

You checked the clock again. Still, no text.

No text for the last three days.

It wasn’t close finals. There wasn’t anything special going on. And your boyfriend, Xiao, has never been one for straight As and studying all day.

No, he was probably out with his friend Venti again, or just ignoring you.

In the beginning, it was easier to deal with. He was a probably busy guy! And then you saw how he typically lived—in his dorm 90% of the time, save class and food—and knew that wasn’t the case. And you knew there were some times he just didn’t want to talk to people.

You were so understanding with everything. But for the last week, he’d done nothing but leave you on read or send one-word answers to all of your texts, never pick up the phone, and never texted you first. Even before this, he’d been spacey. And to a certain degree, you understood that, too.

But it was the bullshit excuses that ground on your last nerve.

“Just not up to it,” he’d say. Or, “my phone wasn’t on”. Or he wouldn’t reply at all. And last week, when you confronted him about it, he wouldn’t tell you anything besides that.

Sure, you’d gotten to the point of doubting how upset with all this you were. He needs his space, after all, and you didn’t want to be too overbearing. But he didn’t act like your boyfriend anymore, and your friends had been telling you for weeks it wasn’t worth the heartache if he wasn’t going to try talking it out.

12:19 AM.

Xiao <3wanna come over for a bit

You sighed. No response to any of your previous texts, of course, but it was something. So, despite how late it was, you made your way over to his apartment. It wasn't far off-campus, so no big deal.

You knocked on the door upon arrival and he let you in a few moments later. No hello, no kiss, just walked away. He grabbed something out of the fridge and asked if you wanted anything. You declined and sat on the couch.

Xiao sat next to you, sitting his arm on the back of the couch. Not quite on your shoulders, but you hoped that’s where he was going. You’d missed him a lot, lately. “How come you asked me over?” you asked as he sat down. “Anything special.”

He shrugged. “Not really. Just haven’t seen you in a while, is all. Sorry it’s late.”

“I don’t mind.”

The two of you sat for a while—in silence somewhere between content and uncomfortable. He was never much of a talker, but for some reason, it was worse when the only noise was the neighbors across the hall playing music you could barely hear.

“Hey,” he said, pulling his arm away from behind you to hold your face. He leaned in slightly, leaving enough room for you to pull away if you chose. Instead, you leaned in. The soda he’d been drinking mixed well with whatever chapstick he had on. When he kissed you like this, it was always soft but pleading for more. He never pushed, but if you agreed, it was a long night for you both.

His hand slid to hold the back of your neck and he slowly kissed down the other side. “Do you wanna—” he found a spot behind your ear he knew you liked, and you gasped— “head back to my room?”

You thought for a moment, before nodding. Xiao smiled, planted one more kiss on your lips, and helped you up.

Another day, you thought. Another day you could worry about all the things flying through your head. For now, you’d just enjoy your time with him.

taglist (send an ask + what fandoms you wanna be tagged in)

@animated-moon @falling4fandoms @sirimirihiro @momoewn @kodzukoi

#xiao #xiao x reader #xiao x reader angst #xiao x gn reader #xiao genshin impact #xiao genshin x reader #xiao genshin angst #angst #xiao x male reader #xiao angst #xiao genshin #//ᴏʀɪɢɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ #//ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ #//500 event #//ɪɴʙᴏx #zel — 🏐

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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13 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats seriously what bugs me so much about LO, it never actually lets serious moments be serious, it's always lampooned by rachel's insistent need to force in her juvenile "humor" and never actually depicting how pressing things are. even the following moments from persephone's r//pe was undercut by hades making stupid puns! i understand if rachel cant write something more serious than "[x] is bad" but if thats so, then dont try it? because thats how you end up with this pretentious mess.

2. since when did lo hades have earrings??? i legit do not remember this ever being a thing??? is he trying to be hip with the kids 😭my man you still look like a crusty old man the earrings arent helping 😭

3. lo hermes looks and acts like flaky from happy tree friends and no thats not a compliment (TW for gore, blood, and violence if any of you google it)

4. Even though the earlier art style was better there are still some cursed panels from the earlier pages that still haunt me. Especially the way Persephone was drawn differently in so many of the panels.

5. lo hades has such "how do you do fellow kids" energy and im not sure why

6. im also confused on the fertility goddess stuff because how stupid is persephone if she didnt notice? she can create life and nature without even thinking and shes implied to be a genius in biology, so how would she not even notice this? if RS really wants to go with this plot, then why have her professor bring it up in class? why not show persephone going to her uni's library to research the topic and pouring over it? that's an easy way to show persephone's intelligence, yet LO doesnt even try.

7. What I wanna know in LO was how Demeter and Hestia were compensated after the war. The three brothers got to be kings and Hera is queen, but what we know of Demeter is that she had a millionaire dollar business that’s probably made it on its own (unless she was helped out) and then Hestia all we really know about her is that she runs that TOGEM and idk if there’s only 4 of them, Hestia really had a group by herself for a bit since Athena is Zeus’ (assumed) daughter, Artemis (Zeus’ assumed daughter) and persphone (newest member) which seems shitty since they won a war together

8. I think what happened with LO’s art style was RS got “lazy” (I’m lacking the right word). I feel like without the colors all of the men in LO have the same body type, and Hermès and Apollo may even have the same face if they smile the same. So to compensate for that lack of body diversity, RS doubled down on Hades’ features to make him stand out more to really show he’s the male lead. However, even in her own words he looks like Persphones’ “dusty ass dad”

The women use to be a little different but they’re all starting to blend with body types. Her was small, but now she’s short and busty like Persphone. RS makes Persphone look short and busty all the time but almost childlike. Minthe was skinny but her last moments she was busy. Aphrodite I feel was just busty but then tried to make her look small also with Ares and Hades beside her. Hestia stayed the same but is still small and busty. Athena was tall and thin (?) but now she’s tall but busty (and her relationship with Hestia looks like it mirrors HXP). Idk I just feel like the longer screen time the female characters get the more they start mirroring Persphone’s look. Like even Artemis was getting empathized on being small next to her brother Apollo. Like all the girls gotta look small but curvy as the story goes on.

9. Demeter: watched her friend get ripped in half. Watched her friend get continually cheated on, paying the price for not hiding a mistress , watched metis get eaten, her back clawed, fought in a war. Later made a daughter who’s a fertility goddess (probably an accident) and now has to raise her. That same daughter then went on a rampage and isn’t really remorseful

Fans: Demeter is such an overbearing mother who gets in the way of our ship.

10. on regards to ace characters, asexuality is a spectrum like everything else, so a lot of asexuals actually do enjoy and have sex, so the maidens doing so isnt inherently a problem, its the fact rachel is clearly viewing it through a strict binary where she assumes asexuality is something that can be "fixed" over time/when the right person comes along. its also a bad modern reading of it, as "virginity" in an ancient sense meant via marriage, not via sex, but I doubt rachel cares to factcheck it.

11. Imagine an elf is given a job to do at a human institution. The humans think elves don’t need bathroom breaks, since they know they can hold it for days, but this elf has been traveling to reach their job, and has already been holding it to the point they are in pain. They ask for a break, but their job is important and time sensitive, so they admit they can still hold it when asked. After a full day of work, the elf tries to reach the bathroom in time, but they were never told where it is.

From OP: I think this might be a nymph allegory? Anon never specified so I'll put this here anyway.

12. ya know if hades has to lie to make apollo seem worse (who does not need much in this comic) its like??? why is he persephone's lawyer then?? lawyers are literally told not to lie, this is basic law 101. thats why they dont want their clients to mention to them if they actually did the crimes because then the lawyers have to say it in court. if hades lies so casually just to keep persephone away from justified punishment, then thats bad actually! both in being a decent person and as a lawyer!

From OP: Hades didn’t lie but he was definitely out of line. RS liked a tweet saying that the wife thing was “subconscious” so it probably was. (Still doesn’t make it right but I doubt he’d say those things on the stand.)

13. I know Minthe was written in a way she was suppose to be unlikesable, she’s rude, she yells and she doesn’t hesistate. HOWEVER RS wrote her character badly. Minthe is so unliked? How was she able to be a bad gf to hades and Thanatos? Like yes it’s an affair but how was she able to pull 2 gods?! We don’t hear Hades or Thanatos say what they like about her BUT they both still had a fling with her. (Honestly I feel it’s cause RS can’t bare writing one nice thing about the female anatangoist without trying to make Persphone look good)

The other thing bothering me was everyone knew about her relationship with Hades after she put it on fatesbook, but everyone talked about the kiss in such a positive light IN FRONT OF HER. Aren’t they suppose to be scared of her? Why did the girls in the yoga class/dress shop had so much to say about that kiss? Because they knew persphone? Did they know every other detail too? What was their actual beef with Minthe?

I feel like realistically some more characters would have sympathy for Minthe if they didn’t know her that well because of Hera. Everyone knows Hera is a pill to deal with and she’s the goddess of marriage who hasn’t really tried bringing Minthe and Hades to the alter. That right there should let everyone know that Hera probably doesn’t help the situation.

Idk, I feel like RS could have gone deeper and made the character not such HXP shippers cause most people wouldn’t cheer for cheating nor an old ass guy getting with a 19 year old. (Idk how fast the news of the slap spread, but I doubt it made it to every place in their fictional world)

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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julie-thefatones · 4 years ago

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Ghostin || Luke x Reader|| Part 1

A/N: Its been over a year since your best friend Luke passed away, finding it hard to cope with everyday life you go through stages of grief and depression, until one day Luke comes back.....

This story will include flashbacks, when that happens I will put the words in bold.

Inspiration for this story coming from Ghostin by Ariana Grande (if you wanna feel the vibe for the first chapter listen to this song)

Word Count: 1, 384

WARNINGS: Depression, Death, Thoughts of self harm

It had been exactly 1 year and a month, 395 days, 568800 minutes, countless nightmares, countless tears since he.... well, since the incident. Days seemed to go by in slow motion, everybody around you used to ask you if you were okay, give you hugs, call you and see if you wanted to hang out.... you appreciated everyones kindness and words, really you did.... you just couldn't. Whenever you would give in and go out, you would see Luke in every person you saw, only making it harder to deal with the pain. Eventually ignoring all calls and people all together..... Slowly causing the people in your life to fall away from you, until eventually everyone was gone... your parents did the best they could to interact, your sister gave up after 6 months... you couldn't blame her though, she was only 13 and didnt really understand what was going on... the only person that seemed to stick around was your boyfriend Jeremy.

You and Jeremy had known each other since you were just kids. You actually met him through Luke while playing on the playground in 4th grade, Luke had told him the main way to a girls heart was to throw mud in her face.... which he did .... and he learned that day forward not to listen to Luke because most the time he was full of it... but most of the time, he would listen to him anyway.

Jeremy probably understood you more than anyone..... well that was except... Luke. Jeremy understood yours and Lukes relationship though.... even so, you couldn't help but feel bad, you haven't exactly made things easy on him. You wondered time and time again why he stayed with you.... why he loved you... The Body of the girl that was once full of life and there, now standing with a vacancy sign on her chest.... hallow.

You sat in your room watching the rain trickle down the window pane, looking up at the sky.... sometimes you wondered if Luke was watching you, was with you sometimes. You felt the tears start to trickle down your cheek... that was usually your sign to go and lay down, for the pain was to unbearable to stay awake.

Although,Sleep wasnt always your friend ........ "LUKE" You cried in pain, tears streaming down your face, caused by a reoccurring nightmare of when you found out he had passed. clutching your chest to catch your breath, you felt arms wrap around you to hold you closer, a comforting "sssshhh" coming from behind you, it was Jeremy.... you had completely forgot he was supposed to come over. You buried your face into his chest, soaking his shirt in tears as he gently patted your hair until you drifted off to sleep once more. The minute your eyes would close.... there he was standing there with his smirk, and kind eyes getting ready to welcome you into a hug.. this was when sleep was kind to you.

The next morning you woke up to a sunny day, you rubbed your eyes to fully accept the morning, rolling over to find Jeremy looking confused and lost. "Good morning" you said trying to sound as positive as you could, Jeremy just kind of glanced over at you, his eyes slightly puffy.... as if he were crying "Are you okay?" you asked genuinely concerned, even though you were empty, you still wanted to be there for him.. after all he has been here for you this whole time. He looked at you hurt, but like he was trying to understand, biting his lip "What did you dream about last night?" He asked, you could tell in the tone of his voice that he seemed to have already knew, and wasnt happy about it, you thought back about what your dream was about .... You and Luke were hanging out in his room messing around with his guitar, and him looking at you and telling you that everything was going to be okay, and that he was there, and not to be sad anymore..... you looked back at Jeremy "It was just ... a dream.... nothing super big" You said trying to change the subject, "You kept saying... Luke....." He said biting his lip again, you sighed, fidgeting with your pillow "This isnt anything new, you know I have that nightmare where I relive hearing about his death....." You said with a crack in your voice, Jeremy sighed "No... I know that one, when you scream, which did happen... but im not talking about that one.... im talking about the ones after that" He said looking straight into your eyes, "These were different... you kept saying his name, like he was right next you ... and you would cuddle up to me and then say his name." Jeremy said, with almost betrayal in his voice, you played with your hair and then looked him in the eyes "Its nothing.... he just.....sometimes he visits me in my dreams.... or " you paused and scrunched your blanket more up to your face "Or feels like he visits me.... " you said in almost a whisper.... "Its nothing you need to worry about" you sighed hoping he would forget about it and move on "Are these new? or have they always happened?" you pondered at his question, not sure if you should tell the truth, Jeremy was the only person you had left and you didnt want to scare him off too, Luke would have told you to be honest and do what you feel in your heart, and then he probably would have tickled you to lighten the mood, but he would have been right, you always hated when he was right because then he got this cocky grin and would tease you endlessly... you hated it so much .. that you loved it. You sighed "They have been here for about 9 months.... so not the whole time but they aren't new either" You said with full honesty, Jeremy sighed and ruffled his hair, as if he was trying to cope "Okay.... " he said with almost exhaustion and frustration, then he grabbed you and held you next to him "Well, I wish you just.. would have told me sooner" he said kissing the top of your head, you loved that he cared... but you didnt want to tell him .... because then it became real that the dreams in fact... were not.

The nightmares and dreams continued like they always do, you would wake up and live your days like you always do..... Jeremy would try to be supportive like he always did. It all got so monotonous.... you just didnt know what to do about it. The only person that knew how to bring you out of your slumps, the only person that knew how to talk any sense into you was gone... he wasnt there.... so you just sat, going through the motions of every day like a robot on command. Everything around you felt fake, even yourself.... you couldn't take it anymore... so you ran.

You felt the crisp nights air brush against your face as you ran, smell of the ocean wafting in your direction as you made your way to the top of the cliff. You came to a halt right at the edge... breathless. Tears streaming down your face with uncontrollable cries bellowing from within your lungs. You looked over the edge thinking about what you were planning on doing.... you kept thinking about Your mom and dad, your sister, Jeremy..... Lukes parents who still invited you over every Sunday for brunch.... would they care, how much would this hurt them? but then all these thought of everyone in your life disappearing when the pain within you arose again.... you knew that of course they would care and it would probably destroy them all.... just the pain in your heart was unbearable, you looked over the edge once again, taking a deep breath in "I love you Luke" You said in a whisper, tears rolling down your face "Y/N! what are you doing" A voice from behind you exclaimed with caution, and then you felt a hand grab your arm, you looked behind you ...... you couldn't believe it "Luke?"

#tell me what you guys think #this is new fic territory for me #Luke Patterson #Luke Patterson x Reader #Luke Patterson x y/n #Luke Patterson Fanfic #Luke Patterson fan fiction #jatp luke #Charlie Gillespie #Marys fanfic

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liannyeong · 4 years ago

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Crimson (Chapter 9)

Summary: Yujin realizes her feelings.

Word count: 4473

Pairing: Jaebeom X OC

Warning(s): fluff, and a mild mature scene

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

A/N: Sorry for the delay, but here’s a longer chapter! ^^ Had more fun writing this chapter for some reason :p Anyway, do show your support for my works by buying me a coffee! Follow me on Twitter for random updates.

Standing in front of the mansion, Yujin has never felt anything like this before. It's like she finally has her life in her hands, perfect in every way she wants it. It’s as if the lever has switched in her mind, because she actually feels excited about what her future will hold. The eagerness in her to truly live her life by Jaebeom's side, as his equal, as his life partner. She realizes that there's nothing more that she wants, but the happiness of being with a beloved one. It feels like coming back home.

Yujin hears the howling of the wind, the rustling of the trees. She glances at the garden, the path beyond the arch as mellow as ever. The plants are well-maintained by the Earth faes, Yujin supposes. The greenery is as vibrant as it is. Before she turns back to the mansion, she notices a small flicker of light inside the garden. Momentarily, she catches a glimpse of the long pathway, as if there’s something in there that wants her to enter.

“What’s wrong?” Jaebeom’s voice snaps her from her thoughts.

“The garden…” she mutters, frowning that the light is gone. “I thought I saw something…”

Jaebeom follows her eyes, but then dismisses it. “Come, the others are waiting for us,” he says as his hand goes to her waist, urging her into the mansion.

When the front doors are pushed open, it reveals the servants lining up neatly, a smile on their faces. “Welcome home, Master and Lady Im!” they greet in chorus, bowing politely.

Yeri steps forward, her eyes shining in delight. “Let me take your bags for you,” she offers.

“We have prepared a feast for you in the dining hall,” Chan pipes up, gesturing at the room.

Jaebeom nods, ushering Yujin with a hand on the small of her back. Yujin hears a soft giggle from Yeri, who shoots her a knowing look. Yujin rolls her eyes at the female, but she can’t help the blush on her face. Yujin realizes she did miss Yeri’s presence.

Like a gentleman, Jaebeom pulls out the chair for Yujin. He opts to take the seat next to her, instead of the one at the head of the table. Truly, Chan has prepared a feast for their return, and Yujin doubts she can even finish them all. The servants leave the couple alone as they dine.

“I’ll be dealing with some matters later. If you need anything at all, do ask the servants,” the male says, much to Yujin’s dismay. They had a whole week to themselves and it was enough to make her forget about Jaebeom and his hectic schedule. It’s back to reality now. Still, Yujin fears that the routine that they just created will stop. She’s worried that the time they spend together would dwindle.

"I'll make time for you, I promise," Jaebeom placates the female, noticing her disappointment. "I'll be sure to have my meals with you, especially breakfast and dinner."

"Why not lunch too?" Yujin asks, lips jutted out in a pout.

He sighs, placing a hand on her knee. "If I have lunch with you, there is no way I can get anything done. Anyway, isn't it great that I'm spending time with you for breakfast and dinner? That way, I can start and end my day with you."

The male taps her nose and there's something so endearing about it. Yujin would be lying if she didn't like the things he said.

“But what matters do you have to handle anyway?”

There’s a moment of hesitation before Jaebeom finally answers. “I want to start a revolution.”

Yujin pauses her chewing and stares at the male.

“I don’t want any halflings, or any other non-pure-blooded faes to experience what I went through,” he continues. “I want to protect them, to give them strength. So, I’m snooping around, trying to recruit more of these faes. At the same time, I’m gathering information for the loopholes of the Fae courts.”

“Why did you not tell me this?” Yujin asks softly.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t support it.”

“Oh, Jaebeom,” she lets out. She cups his face with her hands. “You have such a pure heart. How can I not support your goodwill?”

The fae takes her hands and presses a kiss into her fingertips. “Oh, how lucky I am to have you by my side.”

Yujin smiles at him, before pecking on his lips. They continue with their meal, but Jaebeom has her chair pulled closer, such that their thighs touch. He doesn’t even let go of her, always keeping a hand on her somehow. As they eat in silence, his hand initially goes around her hip. Then, he retracts it for a moment before placing it on her knee. As time goes by, his hand slides up slowly, tracing up her thigh. Yujin shifts in her seat, feeling sensitive despite the layer of clothing. Yet, his touch burns through, as if his hand is directly on her skin. She tries to push his hand away, suddenly aware that they’re in a common area. The servants might come in unannounced! Fortunately, Jaebeom hovers his hand when he notices her fidgeting. But it is short-lived, for he looks over his shoulder, a knowing look on his face. Yujin avoids meeting his eyes and pretends that she’s unaffected by anything at all.

The hand disappears but Jaebeom tips her chin, then she feels a thumb smear against her lips.

“Such a messy eater,” Jaebeom's voice drops low, and it induces a hot feeling in her stomach.

At this point, Yujin throws caution to the wind. She curls her fingers around his wrist, keeping it in place. Her eyes locked on Jaebeom’s face, she darts out her tongue and licks the smudge on his thumb. There is no way she can miss the way his eyes grow dark and heavy. Jaebeom stares at her, fixated on watching the movement of her tongue. Yujin sucks his thumb, hollowing her cheeks. Then, she licks a final stripe up before pulling away, a string of saliva connected to the thumb. Lastly, she releases her hold on his wrist. She notices how Jaebeom’s throat bobs as he swallows.

“There, all clean,” Yujin mutters.

Jaebeom lets out a shaky exhale. He opens his mouth--

They hear a whistle in the room. Jinyoung is standing at the edge of the table, a plate in his hand.

“Congratulations to the new couple. But I suppose the honeymoon wasn’t enough?” Jinyoung comments offhandedly, ignoring the blush that appears across their faces. How long had the fae stood there as an audience? The electricity that was coursing between the two of them immediately dissipates, replaced by embarrassment. Yujin can’t even describe how much she wants to ground to swallow her up right now. The Water fae takes a seat across them as if he saw nothing at all. He states plainly, "Because if you don't mind, I'm just trying to have a peaceful breakfast here. In the dining hall. A common area.”

"You're just jealous you haven't got anyone in your life!" Jaebeom snarls.

"Even so, you must know that there is something called the bedroom for such acts?" Jinyoung retorts, calmly taking a bite off his sausage.

Jaebeom thrusts his fingers forward, and a string of fire lashes towards the Water fae. Jinyoung dismisses it easily, waving his hand across, a small barrier of water defending him from the attack. The water turns into steam, and the male looks up. He darts his eyes between the two of them, raising one brow.

"I suppose I should be relieved that you two are on good terms," the fae says.

Yujin looks at him in confusion. What's that supposed to mean?

Jinyoung seems to notice her questioning eyes. He meets them directly, a mischievous glint in his blue orbs.

"If you must know, Jaebeom was terribly whiny during the courting period. He went all, ‘I talked to Yujin today! Yujin fell asleep in the library, so I shifted her to the loveseat. We chatted but do you think she felt uncomfortable that I carried her to the loveseat?’” he mimics. “You have no idea how my ears bleed!"

Yujin casts a glance at the targeted male, and sees Jaebeom all red, from his cheeks, up to the tip of his ears. He seems too embarrassed to meet her eyes, though he sends a deadly glare at his brother. Yujin can't help but laugh.

"I didn't know you were that cute!" Yujin coos. "You always seemed so cool-headed, I didn't think you'd have such a cute side to you!"

Jaebeom looks up at her in wonder. "You think I'm c-cute?"

Yujin can't help herself from pinching his cheek. "Very cute."

She hears a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the room. "Here they go again..." comes a mutter. "You know what? I think I'll just eat in my room. Thanks for ruining my peaceful morning."

With that, Jinyoung stands up, plate and glass in his hands, before walking off. Yujin and Jaebeom burst into laughter.

---

It’s a given that Yujin spends most of her time in the mansion library, enjoying the quiet silence while being engrossed in the books. But on days that Jaebeom has more time on his hands, he would pop by and accompany her. Secretly, she loves that he prefers to spend the time with her. She loves being pampered by the male, loves receiving his attention.

Yujin has taken her spot at the loveseat near the fireplace, peacefully reading her novel. She's nose-deep into the book that she didn't notice the presence of the Fire fae. Not until, he invades her personal space, snuggling his head onto her lap, much to her pleasant surprise.

"I just need a nap," he says, words slurring. He’s making himself comfortable, legs stretched out, feet dangling over the arm of the seat, hands clasped over his stomach.

"You could have gone to your room. The bed--"

"But I want to be close to you," he cuts, eyes slowly blinking.

Before Yujin can even say anything else, the male has closed his eyes. Immobilized but pleased to have the male around, Yujin lets her lips curl upwards. She shifts her book into one hand, the other carding through Jaebeom’s long hair in a constant motion. Soon enough, she notices his breathing has evened out, his expression peaceful. Not wanting to disturb him, Yujin tries not to move at all, keeping herself as still as possible.

Before she knows it, the sun has reached the horizon, the day getting dark. Yet Jaebeom is still fast asleep on her lap. Her legs have gone numb from staying in one position for so long.

"Jaebeom," she calls out softly, but there is no response.

The sunlight that filters through the glass windows cast a golden shadow onto his skin. He dazzles in the sun. He looks so peaceful. His eyes still tightly shut, Yujin uses it as an opportunity to roam his face. His hair is now tousled against her lap, some strands all over his face. She can't help but brush them away, making it easier to see him. She notices a pair of moles above his left eye. His fringe is long, reaching below his brows so it has hidden away those beauty marks from her. His nose is round, his jaw chiseled like a marble sculpture. Yujin wonders if all faes are this beautiful?

As often as they have cuddled, there is something uniquely intimate about this very moment. It's like Jaebeom's beauty is only for Yujin to see. Being in his most vulnerable state, it’s as if he trusts her entirely not to commit any peculiar acts. As if he's giving himself entirely to her.

Yujin brushes her fingers against his cheek and it's soft under her touch. His skin is inhumanely smooth and flawless. Her eyes cast to his lips: pinkish, thin yet plush. She briefly wonders--

Jaebeom spurs awake, eyes slowly fluttering open. He looks up at her, seemingly dazed from sleep. He glances at her hand then back to her face. Flustered, Yujin retracts her hand.

"Good, you're awake. My legs are cramped," she sputters.

But Jaebeom doesn’t move away. Instead, he turns on his side, nuzzling his face against her stomach.

“Just a while more…” he mumbles into her clothes, barely audible.

“Jaebeom, please, my legs--”

He abruptly sits up, and wordlessly maneuvers her.

“Wha--”

Yujin finds herself being laid down, much like Jaebeom did. But this time, they are both turned on their sides, facing each other. There isn’t much space to put two grown adults together like this, but they managed. Jaebeom throws an arm around her waist and slots their legs together.

“Let’s stay like this a while longer,” he mutters, eyes closing again.

Yujin doesn’t argue, only snuggles closer to the male, shutting her eyes too.

---

The downside of having a free Jaebeom is that he doesn't leave Yujin alone, sticking by the female all day long. He follows her around like a puppy. At first, the female found it cute, but there are times in which Yujin just wants to enjoy her book in solace. How is she to move around freely when he keeps tailing her?

"That's it, I've had enough!" Yujin huffs, annoyed. She chases the male out. "Get out! Leave!"

Jaebeom has the audacity to look hurt, like a kicked puppy. His shoulder slump as he is being dismissed. Yujin reckons if he was truly a puppy, she can see his tail between his legs as he walks away.

Yujin watches as the fae descends the stairs. Then, she sees it happen: how he misses a step and falls forward. Out of reflex, Yujin lunges and grabs him by the arm, pulling him back with great force that he topples backward. In his effort to stabilize himself, his hand grapples for something, which happens to be Yujin’s arm. He ends up pulling Yujin along. She yelps in surprise, and hits her head with something rather firm but not concrete.

Yujin groans, pushing herself up and that’s when her breath hitches. She fell right on top of the male, chest to chest, faces inches apart. Yujin has her palms pressed against his chest, and judging from her position, her head must have collided with Jaebeom’s chest. The male’s red eyes stare up at her face, pupils dilated because of their sudden close proximity.

Flustered, Yujin tries to scatter away, but Jaebeom wraps his arms around her waist, holding her still.

“What are you doing?” she flounders, trying to break apart.

“How romantic. You fell on me,” the male comments, raising his head up, his mouth at her ear, “Or should I say, you fell for me?”

His voice has gone low, and something about it makes her feel weak. Something about it makes her stomach pool with heat. Like tension in springs, she feels wound up. She is sure that she might blow up one day.

Yujin pushes at his chest rather weakly. "Ha ha, very funny..."

There’s a smug look on his face. He brushes a loose hair strand from her face, tucking it behind her ear. He then tips her chin, forcing the female to look at him only.

“I love you,” he exhales so softly, that Yujin barely catches it. Hearing those words for the first time, it takes her breath away. Her heart pounds in her ears.

His eyes have gone to her lips. Yujin feels his thumb grazing against her bottom lip. He darts his eyes back up, meeting hers. “You don’t have to return my feelings yet, but I will make you fall for me. Even if it takes years, I’ll keep trying. The challenge will make it more worth it, I’m sure.”

Yujin can’t find the voice or the words to respond to him at all. The male is the first to pull away, slipping his arms from her body, laying it flat on the floor. Yujin rises, brushing her clothes from the invisible dust, just to keep herself busy.

Jaebeom stands on his feet afterwards. He takes her hand, lowering his body to plant a kiss onto the back of her palm.

“See you later, my love,” he utters, before descending the stairs.

Yujin watches his retreating back, her heart still beating hard in her chest. She holds the hand that Jaebeom has kissed close to her body, cradling it as if it’s something precious, something fragile.

---

"I'm surprised you're not expecting yet," Jinyoung says out of the blue that Yujin drops a book, the thud so loud that it echoes across the entire library. Jaebeom is long gone, probably having to deal with his revolutionary matters. The Water fae looks at her suspiciously. "Or are you--"

"No!" she hastily answers, blushing at the implication.

Jinyoung shrugs his shoulders. "I mean, if you want to keep it a secret, I guess that's fine with me--"

“W-we haven’t even...” the female mumbles weakly.

“Oh,” the Water fae lets out. “My bad. I thought with all that frolicking, you both would have done it--”

Yujin covers her ears, embarrassed. Jinyoung laughs. He leans against a bookshelf, silently observing the female.

“You make him so happy,” he says a while later. “I’ve never seen him this… sweet. It’s sickening, even. But if he’s happy, well… What can I say?”

Yujin is unsure on what to say. She was never there to experience how the old Jaebeom was, how his world has changed ever since her arrival. But if Jinyoung has spoken about his change, then she’s certain that there is truth to it. That Jaebeom has become more gentle, he has been happier with her around.

“He makes me happy too,” she begins slowly. “Initially, I hated him. I didn’t like the idea of being married to someone I didn’t know… But now that I’ve gotten closer to Jaebeom, I don’t regret it. I’m thankful to be married to him. I wouldn’t want any other.”

Jinyoung offers a smile. “I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to hear that.”

“I do want to make him happy,” she confesses. “There were a lot of times when I hurt him so much. I have to make it up to him. And make up for the lost time.”

“You have come to love him, haven’t you?”

“I-- L-love? No way!”

The Water fae crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Oh, you’re not? But you seem rather sure that you want to stay with him till the end of time. You said it yourself, you don’t want any other. Is that not love?”

Yujin keeps mum, staring at the many books before her. Has she truly fallen in love with Jaebeom? She definitely enjoys his company, revels in the way he showers her with affection and attention. At the same time, she likes his hugs, his kisses, his touch. It never fails to bring her warmth. And there were a few times when she initiated a kiss, or any romantic gesture. Has she been in love with Jaebeom all the while, without her realizing it at all?

Jinyoung quirks a smile. “Found your answer?”

Yujin looks at the male with imploring eyes. “What do I do now?”

The male grins. “I’ll help you.”

---

Yujin spends the rest of the day cooped up in her room, refusing to step out at all. She blames Jinyoung for the ideas that he has been feeding her mind from their conversation. She hadn’t expected Jinyoung to go through with her everything about procreating with a fae. This includes learning the anatomy of a male fae, which isn’t different from any human being. After all, they pretty much look similar, able to effortlessly and flawlessly blend in with human civilization. Still, Jinyoung goes into the details about the entire process. It has Yujin’s cheeks burning, and she had desperately hoped that the impromptu lesson would end as soon as possible.

Now, she has to deal with the afterthoughts of it alone. The visual imagery used during the lesson isn’t helping at all because right now, her mind can’t help but imagine Jaebeom… Yujin pulls at her hair, trying to force such sinful thoughts out of her mind. What would Jaebeom think of her like this? Definitely unflattering, her mind supplies.

The door creaks open and Yujin has to cover her body with her blanket. She’s thoroughly clothed, but for some reason, she feels very much exposed. Naked even.

Jaebeom strolls in, a sweet smile on his lips as he greets her. It comes almost naturally that he slips himself under the covers, greeting Yujin with a kiss, be it on her forehead, cheek, or hand. He rarely aims for her lips anymore. She wonders if it is out of respect. After all, she hasn’t told him of her feelings.

“Jinyoung has told me very interesting things,” he begins, words drawing out.

Yujin pretends she doesn’t know, putting on an innocent, clueless face. “What things?”

“That you were reading books on fae anatomy,” he says, a hand curling around her hip.

“Well, I was just curious on how different fae anatomy is to human anatomy--”

“Hmm, and what about procreation? Why were you reading that?”

Yujin flushes, covering her face with her hands. “I-- I didn’t-- Jinyoung was the one who decided to talk about in detail, and then he forced me to listen to his explanations and then handed me a stack of books to read on--” she rambles on, voice muffled.

Jaebeom throws his head back, a boisterous laugh filling the room. “I know. I hope you didn’t find my brother pushy.”

“He was…” Yujin mumbles to herself.

Jaebeom scoots closer, his arms caging her in a hug. He hooks his chin on her shoulder, head leaning against hers.

“You don’t have to force yourself,” he utters softly. “I told you. I’ll wait for however long it takes for you to love me back. We have a lot of time.”

Yujin shakes her head. “You have a lot of time, I don’t. You’re immortal, I’m not.”

“Technically, I am, but I can still die.”

Yujin scrunches her nose in jest. "Yeah, if someone uses a silver weapon and stabs you in the heart."

Jaebeom stays silent. Yujin feels the mood suddenly sink. That was a stupid thing to say, Yujin berates herself. How could she joke about it when it involves his life? She had wanted to make it up to him, to make up for the lost time, and yet she cracked a bad joke to him. Jaebeom, who has done nothing but take good care of her. Jaebeom, who has always looked at her fondly, who has treated her as an equal. She doesn’t deserve him. He should be with someone better than her, someone who wouldn’t hurt him at all. Yujin doubts she can ever do that. Will Jaebeom still be willing to love a broken glass like her, when he suffers cuts just by holding her?

"I have long forgiven you about that night," he confesses. “I’m not holding it against you.”

“I know,” Yujin mutters. “I want you to know that I won’t try to kill you anymore.”

Jaebeom offers a smile.

“It’s true, I won’t do it anymore,” Yujin feels the need to convince him further. "Because I-- I’ve come to like you too much that I can’t imagine my life without you, much less try to kill you--"

There's a pin drop silence before it takes her a moment to realize what she just said. Her eyes dart to Jaebeom slowly, cautiously, hoping that he didn't hear it at all. But who can she fool? Jaebeom managed to catch her sudden confession, already looking at her with wide eyes.

"I--" she opens her mouth.

"If you were gonna tell me to forget it, I definitely can't," he hastily interjects. "There is no way I can ever pretend I didn't hear that."

"Jaebeom, I--" What is she going to say? Is there any point in taking her words back? She has come to terms with her own heart, and if she truly wants to make up for the lost time, she shouldn’t be wasting any. She takes a deep breath.

“I’m in love with you, Jaebeom. Your company, your presence, your voice, your face, I like them all," she confesses. Then, she reaches for his face, holding it with her hands. "I promise you: I will never turn my back on you. My heart and my life, I offer them to you."

"Yujin..." he mutters, almost like a whisper. Like a stolen breath.

Yujin leans in, and Jaebeom meets her halfway. His lips are soft against hers. He kisses so sweetly that Yujin finds herself chasing his lips when he pulls apart.

"We should stop..." he mutters.

But Yujin presses their lips together again. This time, she throws her arms around Jaebeom's neck, her weight pushing them closer. Jaebeom makes a little noise as the momentum throws him backward, down onto the bed. Yujin doesn't care, continues kissing him fervently as if he's the oxygen to her lungs. As if she's in dire need of him.

Jaebeom lies completely flat on his back, as Yujin throws her legs over his hip, effectively straddling him. Any gap between them is gone, their bodies pressed together as one. Her hands roam under his shirt as they kiss, until Jaebeom curls his fingers around her wrists delicately.

"You don't have to do this," his lips hovering over hers. The male lays still, body not crumbling under her weight.

She tugs his hand away, shaking her head. "I want this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she exhales, firm. She leans down, cupping the side of his face gently. "Please."

The man tilts his chin up and she closes the gap again. Warmth blooms through her body in a way she has never felt before. The rustling of fabric, the cold air that hits her snaps her to reality. This is real, she realizes. The lights have gone out, only the moonlight seeping into the room. In the darkness, she can make out Jaebeom's form, the light reflecting in Jaebeom's eyes. Yujin shudders at the sight of his dilated pupils. Yet, ever so gently, Jaebeom takes care of her. Each kiss he leaves on her skin burns deep. Each hitch of breath sets the waves in motion. It's like the high tides on a full moon, the rolling of the waves against the shore. Each time they meet, they sink deeper into the ocean, into a world of only the two of them. With a final crash, the shore is doused, the waves subside.

Pure bliss.

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 writing #got7 fanfic #got7 imagines #jaebum #got7 jaebum scenarios #got7 jaebum #got7 im jaebum #got7 im jaebum scenarios #got7 im jaebeom #got7 im jaebeom scenarios #got7 jb scenarios #got7 jb

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hibisha · 5 years ago

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Hello, a friend of yours said you might be able to recommend some radiodust fanfics, and it can be anything im not picky

RadioDust fanfics you say? Alright *cracks knuckles* here we go.

1.) The Charismatic Cannibal’s Guide to Self Care

Rating: E

Summary: Alastor chuckled around a hand. Angel would never get over how shark-like he could look. Fangs were the norm here, but Alastor’s had a certain animal quality that fit strangely in a humanoid face. Too big and too many. And right now they were tinged with a hint of red from his choice of drink.

“So what,” he said, “would liven up the place for you, sport?”

You might assume that Angel Dust is the bad influence in every situation. You would be wrong.

The Radio Demon has plans for Hell, and plans for Angel. And they aren't pretty.

Will contain gore/cannibalism/murder and plenty of fun, bad people. Please read the tags and content warning. Plot now, smut to follow.

Personal thoughts: It only one chapter so far but I really like the premise.

2.) Their Arrangement

Rating: E

Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust have come to an agreement after Angel pushes the Radio Demon's buttons a little too far and inadvertently awakens the long forgotten urges buried under decades of bloodlust.

Personal thoughts: One of my literal favorites. Alastor and Angel’s evolving relationship from sex friends to ‘oh shit I have feelings’ *chef’s kiss*.

3.) Absolute Territory

Rating: E

Summary: Angel Dust is an absolute terror for Absolute Territory.

Alastor never knew he had a thing for stockings until Angel decides to flaunt a pair, matched with a pleated skirt and an oversized sweatshirt.

Personal thoughts: Have some good ol’ smut.

4.) Heart Between His Teeth

Rating: E

Summary: So maybe there are better things to life than being drugged and fucked so hard you can't even think for yourself.

Personal thoughts: OMFG. I CAN NOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC.

5.) Angel Dust’s Not So Illustrious Life

Rating: T

Summary: Alastor isn’t sure why he’s become Angel’s primary target, but the more he attempts to dissuade Angel’s advances, the more fervent they seem to become.

And maybe Alastor likes that...maybe...Yet it seems there’s more to Angel than innuendos and a quick romp.

Personal thoughts: I kinda love this fic a lot where Angel and Alastor respect each other’s boundaries.

6.) Caught In His Own Web

Rated:E

Summary: "So when the devil wants to dance with you, you better say never. Because the dance with the devil might last you forever."

Redemption is hard when you don't want to do it. Redemption is even harder when a certain Radio Demon keeps enabling your sinful behavior.

Personal thoughts: My favourite trope, bad people being worse together.

7.) I Thought I Knew You

Rated: M

Summary: Angel Dust can't ruin the hotel's reputation if he can't go outside. Or, at least, that's what Alastor says. Of course, it's all a ploy to torture Alastor's least favorite spider demon, but maybe he doesn't know Angel Dust as well as he thinks he does.

Personal thoughts: I really like this one especially since it feeds into my “Alastor is a dick in all AUs.”

8.) Sex, drugs and radio host

Rating: E

Summary: For some ungodly reason, Alastor decides to keep Angel safe and sound - meaning no sex, prostitution and certainly no drugs. Of course, this wild idea is met with more than a little resistance. But... no one ever cared if Angel was safe. And sometimes, all he would like is a hug. Sex sure is nice, but he is more than willing to explore the possibilities.

The trouble is, it doesn't seem like Alastor is offering anything specific. Keeping things strange and vague is not helping, especially when a new guest catches Alastor's attention.

Personal thoughts: Its cute and theres feelings involved is all I’m saying.

9.) Gentleman's Wager

Rating: None

Summary: Sick of listening to Angel Dust's crass and vulgar language, Alastor makes a bet with him. If Angel Dust can remain absolutely silent for one whole week, he'll give in and kiss him.

Personal thoughts: *inhales* JVKJGCHJCHJCVJHVJHGCJHCJHCGFD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH PLEASE READ IT.

10.) Triggered

Rating: None

Summary: Angel Dust had never really thought too much about the static hum surrounding Alastor wherever he went... until now anyway.

Personal thoughts: It's a very good fic about ANgel dealing with PTSD. Def check it out.

11.) Dinner and Drinks

Rating: None

Summary: Alastor and Angel Dust can barely tolerate each other and Charlie seeks to fix that.

Personal thoughts: Again, a slow development of Angel and Alastor’s relationship.

12.) You Do Something to Me

Rating: T

Summary: Alastor's radio signals go both ways, and for the past few decades he's tuned into the most beautiful voice. What a surprise to find the source in the Happy Hotel right under his nose.

A relationship that grows through music.

Personal thoughts: AGAIN, PLEASE READ THIS IT IS CUTE HECK AND WILL CLEAR YOUR SKIN. Also, its part 2: No One Knows Anything But Us

13.) 1932

Rating: M

Summary: The 1930s are the for perfect time to nurture any up-and-coming radio host or serial killer alike. Alastor is no exception.

Set in New Orleans in 1932, Alastor is living his best life. Broadcaster by day and home chef by night, he's learned that Jumbalaya is best served with a side of human liver and a still beating heart. That is until he brings the wrong meal to his table, a member of the Italian mafia, and ends up biting off more than he can chew.

With his latest meal escaping the table and his identity running the risk of being found out, Alastor faces his biggest hunt yet. The streets of New Orleans are his forest and this time, it's his head on the platter.

AKA Alastor screws up and now has to fix his mess in Dixieland while balancing his day job, cannibalistic hunger, and learn how to be a decent human being for once along the way. Should be fun.

Personal thoughts: I absolutely adore this fic. Please give it a shot.

14.) Contracts and Deals Series

Rating: E

Summary: Angel Dust, Hell's number one porn actor.

Alastor, Hell's most renowned overlord.

The two cross paths.

Angel makes a deal with Alastor to get out of his contract with Valentino. One thing leads to another.

Personal thoughts: It’s a good series that eventually gets really fluffy.

15.) Good Management

Rating: M

Summary: Alastor thought he had Angel Dust filed away into his niche box in the Hotel. He was wrong. But he's a good enough manager to fix his responsibilities.

Personal thoughts: Its AngeliaDark. You know it’s good.

16.) Anything for you

Rating: M

Summary: Valentino faces the consequences of hurting someone that Alastor deeply favors

i.e. Val fucking dies

Personal thoughts: Any fic where Val dies is a good fic.

17.) Predator and Prey

Rating: M

Summary: Every couple of years, Angel Dust goes through a change that makes him a lot less tolerable to be around, for many more reasons than one. The staff of the Hotel are about to learn that the hard way, none more so than Alastor.

Personal thoughts: Okay so, slight dubcon, would recommend checking the tags before going into it. Though I love how it tackles on the story of Alastor being a deer which is technically a prey animal and Angel being the predator for once. Absolutely love it.

18.) Good Tidings

Rating: T

Summary: A Christmas party in Hell isn't the big selling point for the Happy Hotel (For Hazbins), but Charlie feels that the holiday season is just what her friends need to open up to and help one another.

So what better way to do it than with a Secret Santa?

When Angel Dust draws none other than his crush, the Radio Demon, he knows he has one shot to not eff it up.

Personal thoughts: Really fluffy, a good read. Highly recommend it.

19.) Vanilla Bean

Rating: T

Summary: Alastor decides to try his hand at pet names and inadvertently offends Angel Dust. Rated T for swearing and there's suggestive content if you close one eye, tilt your head, and squint.

Personal thoughts: Okay so i loved this one because of how badly these two handle communication.

20.) For Auld Lang Syne, My Dear

Rating: M

Summary: Alastor's solitude is interrupted by Angel Dust who has just escaped a rough client and the two spend the last moments of 2019 together.

Personal thoughts: Love love love this. I just love Angel and Alastor dancing together okay.

21.) I Like It Better When I'm With You

Rating: M

Summary: Angel deals with feelings. Alastor deals with feelings. Just a whole lot of pining.

Personal thoughts: Summary says it all.

22.) Technical Difficulties

Rating: M

Summary: The hotel is running relatively well. Relationships between Alastor and the rest of the staff are budding surprisingly smoothly. And then the rainfall starts up, threatening all of it.

Alastor's out of tune.

Personal thoughts: I love how this is written. Slowburn but worth it.

23.) Lurking in the Shadows

Rated M

Summary: 5 instances where a curious and head-over-heels shadow follows Angel Dust around and 1 time where Angel decides to follow it instead.

Personal thoughts: It’s very cute how Alastor’s shadow pines after Angel.

24.) Crossroads

Rating: M

Summary: A mafioso’s and a murderous radio star’s paths collide in New Orleans in the winter of 1933.

Personal thoughts: OKAY SO I REALLY LOVE THIS BECAUSE HUMAN AUS ARE MY JAM AND THEN ALASTOR AND ANGEL BEING TERRIBLE HUMANS TOGETHER IS EVEN BETTER.

25.) Needle Through a Bug

Rating: E

Summary: Angel wakes up in a hospital after a party. His doctor is very strange, worryingly so. Still, he can't help but be intrigued.

Personal thoughts: Doctor AU. Alastor is insane. I love it because Alastor manages to be as creepy as possible while saving lives.

26.) My Roommate's a Demonic Deer

Rating: M

Summary: Don't you hate it when you "accidentally" summon a demon to fix a problem within your home, only to find out that they don't do that, so now you're stuck with a cannibalistic demon that constantly tracks blood onto the floor, brings other unholy beings into your apartment, and makes amazing jambalaya? It's amazing insanity!

Personal thoughts: Lmao I love demon summoning gone wrong so this was really an amazing read. Angel being a true himbo is always the best.

27.) Human Hazbin Roommates AU series

Rating: E, M

Summary: A series of porny RadioDust one-shots depicting modern human AU roommate life.

Notes:

Glimpses into the human lives of insufferable roommates.

(AKA This was supposed to be a practice at writing present tense smut and it devolved into sex and feelings)

Personal thoughts: Dive in for the smut, come out with the feels.

28: Darker Side of Hell series

Rating: E

Summary: Follow Charlie and later Alastor as part of my Story for the Hazbin hotel... It ain't pretty, so enjoy!

Personal thoughts: Not everyone’s cup of tea so i suggest reading the tags but I really love this series a lot. Angel being awkward and in love is the best shit ever. Its an amazing series.

29.) Scorched, Uninhabited, Rejected

Rating: M

Summary: When Hell suddenly loses all working functions, and angels start dropping from their overhead perches to attack the underworlds population, Charlie has no idea what to do before she's suddenly face to face with a Archangel. Though something, clearly, isn't right about the air the angel assures her to keep those who are dear tucked tightly by her side as the disaster struggles to fix itself.

But nothing is as it seems, Overlords' powers are dwindling and even her own is becoming strained as she struggles to protect her beloved hotel and friends from the Exterminators outside.

Personal thoughts: *vibrates* Can’t say much without spoilers so I’m just gonna beg ya all to read this.

30.) The Thin Line

Rating: None

Summary: Studies say it takes fifty hours of interaction before you consider someone a casual friend and two hundred to be a close friend. Alastor and Angel Dust manage to skip right past close friends to something more without either even noticing they've crossed the line.

31.) La Vie En Rose

Rating: G

Summary: Alastor learns that Angel is afraid of thunderstorms, and Angel in turn learns about the Radio Demon.

32.) falling

Rating: M

Summary: "You're hot as fuck, be my boyfriend."

That was perhaps the worst thing he could've possibly said from that standpoint.

A college setting where Angel gets suddenly awful at flirting when it comes to the face of his crush, a cute library assistant that goes by Alastor.

Personal thoughts: COLLEGE AU COLLEGE AU.

33.) Old Habits Die Hard

Rating: G

Summary: Angel decides to bring back a little habit of his after having a rough time.

Personal thoughts: Hella soft, please read.

34.) Handwritten

Rating: None

Summary: Alastor imagines Angel must be lonely in heaven, he writes to keep him company.

A series of letters addressed to Angel.

Personal thoughts: Hi, do you like crying into your pillow at 2 AM? You do? The look no further, this is the fic for you! Now, with extra heart wrenching feels!

35.) Relapse and Recovery

Rating: T

Summary: Going clean was never going to be easy, but easy was something Angel Dust never expected going into this anyway. At least he has a good support system to help him along the way.

Personal thoughts: I just really like AngeliaDark’s fics okay.

36.) Catalyst

Rating: T

Summary: All couples have their downfalls, and an event that should have been celebrated only drives Alastor and Angel Dust apart.

Personal thoughts: Love love love this. It’s very well written, reads easy and you’ll feel fluffy for days.

37.) Dinner Date: A RadioDust Tale

Rating: E

Summary: Angel Dust finally finds a way to get Alastor to agree to a 'date'. After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Sometimes literally.

Personal thoughts: One of my favourite stories about RadioDust.

38.) This One's Dedicated to [static interruption]

Rating: M

Summary: A couple of years since the hotel's opening, the residents have settled down into a fairly tolerable routine. Recently, some of them have begun experiencing peculiar symptoms which become more noticeable as time passes. To his dismay, the Radio Demon finds that he is not immune.

A chance encounter with Angel Dust propels the two demons together as they attempt to answer what's behind the unusual phenomena, while rediscovering all the things they thought dead and buried along the way.

Personal thoughts: Slowburn but definitely worth it. I love the story and how it’s progressing with a certain mystery surrounding the whole plot.

Also slight self plug I guess:

39.) 14 ways to say “I Love You”

Rating: T

Summary: Just a collection of small drabbles I’m writing on based on single word prompts.

Please check it out if you’re a fan of odd AUs.

Wowee, that’s a lot. I’m gonna call it a night and say that’s all for today. I hope you enjoy these!

#hazbin hotel #radiodust #alastor #angel dust #fic rec #ask

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shouta-aizawow · 4 years ago

Note

1) Hope u are ok, i will let you this one here. Bakugou coming out as asexual-aromanitc, and having to explain to everyone what is it. (And if you want angst, people not believing him, that he's not grown enough to know, all that bullshit) Sorry is a little bit of proyection.

I’m doing well, thank you!!! And dw, I project HARDCORE and I also LOVE aroace Katsuki so it’s all good!! (i’m actually gonna project a bit in this one lol)

OKAY!!!

When the other kids were busy talking about crushes and who they were dating, Katsuki was focused on becoming a hero.

He had no time for romance, especially that sappy type he always sees on tv.

No, Katsuki was gonna become the greatest hero, and he would do that alone.

He never thought much of it. It didn’t seem unusual to him that he never had an interest in anyone else, that he couldn’t join in on conversations where the topic was romantic love or sexual attraction.

In fact, he felt smug when all the other extras were held down by girlfriends and boyfriends and datemates while he was forging on ahead. Seeing the confusion and awe on their faces when he told them that he had never been attracted to anyone was enough to erase the slight embarrassment he felt at not being able to relate to them.

Katsuki was invincible, unaffected by the curse that is romantic and sexual attraction, and he needs to let everybody know it.

(A few years later, at the tender age of 13, Katsuki finds he isn’t a superior being, he’s just aroace...

Well... okay then.)

He is aroace and still unaffected by the curse that is romantic and sexual attraction!

He didn’t really have friends to share his epiphany with, and the extras that followed him around were too dense to know what he was talking about to care. Besides, they’d probably just hear that he wasn’t attracted to girls and throw a fit.

Anyway, it’s not like he really wants to share this. No, this information is for Katsuki and Katsuki only.

But when he gets into UA, starts building a, admittedly reluctant at first, relationship with his classmates, the desire to tell them something he’s kept locked away grows.

It all comes to a head one night at the dorms. It’s a rare night of him hanging out in the common room with most of his other classmates.

Katsuki doesn’t know how the conversation steers this way, but the topic is now crushes. Some people are coming out, some people are just observing. Katsuki is becoming bored, and just as he gets up to leave, he’s noticed and asked, “Who do you have a crush on?”

He’s tempted to ignore the question, but surrounded by this open group of people that showed their support whenever someone revealed themself to be gay or bisexual or pan, he has the urge to let them know this part of him as well.

So he replies. “I don’t have one.”

“So who did you have a crush on?”

“Never had one either, Earjacks.”

Everyone becomes interested now.

Jirou looks skeptical, “It’s not weak to have a crush, yknow. If you don’t wanna tell us, fine, but to lie—”

“I ain’t lying, I’m aroace.”

There’s silent confusion, and Katsuki’s heartbeat thunders in his chest.

Someone asks what that is and, huffing, Katsuki tells them, “It means I don’t experience romantic, aro, or sexual, ace, attraction.”

They ignore his muttered “dumbasses” in favor of questioning him with a “You don’t, or you haven’t?”

“I just said I don’t. What are you on about?”

Kaminari then decides to speak up. “Dude, just give it time! You don’t know who you’re gonna meet that’ll knock you right off those stubborn feet of yours.” And he punctuates it with a wink.

Katsuki is getting annoyed.

“Okay, whatever. If that happens, that happens, but right now, it hasn’t. Therefore, I’m choosing the label aroace.”

Momo, with a finger on her chin and a contemplative expression on her face decides to voice, “But aren’t you acting a little hasty, Bakugou-kun? You shouldn’t use such a definitive label when you’re so young.”

Some people are voicing their agreement, and Katsuki feels like screaming, but he’s too busy being frozen in shock, looking at Momo with with the most incredulous look he could muster.

“What the actual fuck? How is me calling myself aroace any more ‘definitive’ than y’all calling yourself gay?” He can’t help the crack in his voice as he continues, “I’m genuinely confused.”

Before they could reply, Katsuki asks his own question with the most deadpan look he could offer:

“Do you ever wanna date a cat?”

There are exclamations of “No” and looks of bewilderment, but Katsuki continues, crossing his arms.

“Well I don’t think you should act so certain. I mean, maybe you haven’t met the right cat, yet.”

They’re telling him that that’s different, shouldn’t be used as an argument.

But then Kirishima perks up, and Katsuki feels dread consume him.

“Love, or don’t love I guess, who you... don’t... love, bro!”

And Katsuki feels hope bloom in his chest.

Only to have it crushed with his best friend’s next words.

“But we’re just trying to help you! We don’t want you to feel like you’re moving too fa—“

“Not only did I not ask for any help, but how is any of this helping me?!” Katsuki throws his arms in the air. “I came out to you guys, something we’ve been doing all evening, and you have the audacity to tell me I’m wrong?!”

He’s pacing now.

“Why the hell are you acting like I’m signing a death wish with my identity! You guys are the biggest fucking hypocrites, holy hell.”

Katsuki shakes his head and storms off, unwilling to be in that toxic situation any longer.

The next few days are met with guilt-ridden eyes from his classmates and the cold shoulder from him.

They don’t try to approach him, and for that, Katsuki is grateful, because he doesn’t know what he’d do if the people that rejected who he is tried to act like they did nothing wrong.

Yeah, maybe they weren’t being malicious, maybe it was just ignorance, but Katsuki is by no means obligated to forgive nor teach them. Until they pull their heads out of their asses and realize there’s a plus after LGBTQ for a reason, he’s perfectly fine with the distance.

OKAY SO TWO ENDINGS

1) The class that was there does their research and apologizes and are forgiven and whatnot (happy ending)

2) The class doesn’t do their research and just assumes that Katsuki doesn’t want to have sex or kiss anyone. They apologize, but the relationship is still tense with their ignorant comments and jokes. Katsuki is still hurt, especially when they start dating each other or other students, and he’s left to be the only one that values a strong friendship over romance. He feels left behind. (Angsty ending)

OR WAIT!!! ANOTHER ENDING!!!

3) The class doesn’t apologize or do their research, because they think Katsuki was making a big deal out of nothing. After those few weeks of the silent treatment, they try to approach him and act like everything is great.

Katsuki is angry and hurt, but eventually he finds comfort and very close friendships with Todoroki, Tokoyami, Shinsou, and Shoji. Not all of them are aroace, but they’re on the spectrum for one or both (bittersweet ending)

IM DONE!!! This honestly didn’t go the way I was thinking it would go, but I ain’t upset so it’s all good.

So ofc I projected with the being annoyed when people act like my sexuality isn’t a real thing (which is lots of ppl online and the classmates I told when they asked)

Also, that part about telling people that you’ve never had a crush and being smug when they’re like :0? Yeah, I used to do that until I was 13 when my older sib was like “yeah, you’re aroace” and I was like :0 “i saw that term in one fanfiction years back but i genuinely didn’t think abt it when i looked up to see what ‘ace’ meant but it fits perfectly”

So anyway, my sib also told me that what I was is Agender (which I knew abt but thought “that’s not me,,, right?” wrong) and I realized when they asked me if they could tell their friend my gender identity. I was confused like sure?? and then they said i was agender and their friend asked for my pronouns and i said i didn’t care

like,, i thought i was nb, but i wasn’t sure exactly what “type”(?) idk, but after that, i looked at the definition for agender that i didn’t understand before and was like :0 yep that’s me

ANYWAY YOU PROBABLY DIDNT WANT ALL OF THAT PERSONAL MUMBO JUMBO BUT THIS HC RELATES TO ME A LOT SO

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 💖💗💕💞💝

#wow! asks!#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugou #aroace #aromantism #asexual #tw aphobia #but it’s due to ignorance #bakugou headcanons #bnha headcanons

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megalony · 4 years ago

Text

She’s a good girl- Part 13

Here is the next part of my murderer! Ben Hardy series, I can’t believe how many parts I’ve got done so far and it’s not near finished yet. I hope you will all enjoy it and feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Series taglist: @onceuponadetectivedemigod @lelifesaver

Series masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) is a good girl from a church-going family and her brother, Joe is trying to put Ben behind bars. But when (Y/n) starts to fall for the dangerous killer, things get complicated.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That's the fifth time it's rang in an hour." (Y/n)'s voice was groggy and on the verge of inaudible but she knew Ben had either heard what she said or already knew what she was thinking.

"Just ignore it."

A shiver ran down (Y/n)'s spine when Ben grumbled his response into the crook of her neck, a sure sign that he didn't care to answer the phone, he just wanted to go back to sleep. His arm that was looped around (Y/n)'s waist pulled her closer until her back was moulded to his chest and his face was buried in her neck.

(Y/n) had stayed in hospital for a week before being discharged but since that meant they were at twenty four weeks they were advised to play things safe. They had been home for five days now and Ben had put Mark in charge of the club so he could take time off to be with (Y/n) but he was now realising he had chosen the wrong person to be in charge. He didn't seem to be capable of going one day without ringing Ben up and asking about one thing or another or what he should do in a scenario. It wasn't as if Ben had given him that much to do whilst he was gone because Ben had brought the rota and the finance books home to sort them himself.

It had been strange but nice to have Ben at the hospital with her and then at home with her all day. (Y/n) was so used to Ben having an awkward work schedule, some days he went to the club for an hour, sometimes he was there all day or late into the night. And even though he still did some work whilst he had been home, it wasn't nearly as much as what it normally was.

But (Y/n) had a feeling Ben would be going into work today rather than having another week off like he planned. It wasn't often Ben actually took time off from the club because for one, he was the boss and had to oversee everything and two, he had a lot of business and backstreet dealings going on. The club worked more efficiently and properly when Ben was there and (Y/n) knew he was going to have to go back and get it running properly very soon.

(Y/n) wanted to bury her head in her pillow and block out the world when she heard her phone starting to ring for a change but she couldn't lay here and listen to the constant ringtones anymore. Reaching her hand out, (Y/n) grabbed her phone and tiredly opened her eyes before she leaned back into Ben and held the phone out to him.

"He's ringing me now, just answer it." The last five times Ben's own phone had rung he either ended the call or let it ring out until Mark gave up and ended the call himself. Ben wasn't supposed to be at work he was on time off and he couldn't be bothered to keep listening to Mark ranting and being unsure what to do.

Ben grunted as he lifted his head from (Y/n)'s neck, taking the phone from her in annoyance. It was one thing to repeatedly ring Ben, but then to go to the extent of ringing (Y/n) when he knew she was ill and off work was something else and Ben was not happy about it.

"What the fuck do you want?" Ben turned from laying on his side to laying on his back, staring at the ceiling when he just wanted to go back to sleep. It was only eight in the morning and Ben didn't often have time to lie in. Moving his free arm, Ben hooked his arm around (Y/n) and gently pulled her into his side until she slowly turned over so she was facing him.

With a sigh, (Y/n) laid her head on Ben's chest and leaned into his side as he started to feather his fingers up and down her waist. The slow movement of his hand contrasted to the anger she could feel radiating off of him and the way he was breathing harshly down the phone. Surely Mark knew ringing this much would only rile Ben up and if Ben did end up going to work (Y/n) knew as well as anyone else that he wouldn't be a happy man when he got to the club. There would be very little point dragging Ben into the club if he was in a bad mood because he would snap at anyone and everyone who annoyed him.

"Why the hell did I put you in charge when you can't understand simple instructions Mark? You're there so I don't have to be, do you get that? I'm supposed to be on leave and I don't want you calling (Y/n)'s number to get to me either. She's off sick so you don't call her for any reason and you certainly don't call her to try and get me on the phone, now fuck off."

Ben felt the urge to launch the phone at the wall when he hung up the call but it wasn't his phone and he knew smashing (Y/n)'s phone wasn't exactly going to make him feel any better.

He tossed the phone back onto the side table before he rubbed at his eyes for a few moments. He didn't appreciate Mark trying to ring (Y/n) to get through to Ben when Ben specifically told every worker at the club that (Y/n) was off work for the foreseeable future. Most of the guys there saw her as another boss there anyway, she knew what went on and what to do and Ben let her see a lot of the records and files no one else got to see. So he made sure they all knew she wasn't well and they couldn't ring her for anything to do with the club or him unless she came back to work in person.

"Are you going in?" (Y/n) tilted her head up so she could rest her chin on Ben's chest to look up at him but the look in his eyes wasn't a very pleased one.

"No, I'm on leave. What's the point of making Mark the manager if he doesn't do fuck all?"

"Ben, he's gonna keep calling until you go in and sort out whatever's wrong, the club doesn't run well without you. Go in I'll be fine, it's not like I'm going anywhere."

Ben tangled his fingers in his curls before he tilted his head towards (Y/n) and she watched his lips curve at the side into a sorry look. He didn't want to leave and she knew it but it wasn't as if she was in any immediate danger right now or the hospital wouldn't have sent her home. As long as (Y/n) didn't do any heavy lifting or strain herself and took it relatively easy then everything should be fine with no further issues.

"I think I'll have to, you sure you don't mind?" Ben knew deep down he couldn't leave the club for a few more days with Mark in charge because he clearly didn't know what he was doing. Leaving the club for a while was weird for Ben when he was there almost everyday and it felt good to have a break but he wasn't used to it. He liked being at the club almost everyday because it meant no changes could happen and nothing could go wrong without him knowing and trying to fix it. He liked being in charge and being in control.

"I'll be fine, I feel a lot better now. And technically... I could go back to work next week-" (Y/n) traced her finger over Ben's chest that sunk inwards beneath her touch as he took a deep breath and she knew what he was going to say.

"Don't start something you can't finish, doll. You know far too well that it would be too early to go back to work next week and you know full well I'm not letting you back either."

Ben pressed his lips longingly to (Y/n)'s forehead before he pulled out from under her so he could sit up and try to wake himself up. Going back next week would be far too early and they had already talked about this, Ben didn't want (Y/n) to go back for a few more weeks yet. It was better to play things safe than sorry and Ben was in charge of the club at the end of the day, he could just keep changing the rotas so (Y/n) would get frustrated and stop trying to go back into work.

"When can I go back then, boss? I'm six months along and I don't take maternity leave until I'm eight months, that's three months in between where I should be working." (Y/n) didn't want to push herself too much and she knew her limits, but she liked going to work.

Ever since Ben first gave her a job it felt like (Y/n) was finally grown up and she liked working at the club, it was different and made her feel important and it wasn't boring work which is what she wanted. (Y/n) knew when she went on maternity leave she'd be busy with the baby so working from home didn't seem like it would be an option and she would have been working for Ben less than a year before taking maternity leave. She didn't want to be stuck in the house getting bored, especially if Ben was going to be at the club working and she was just home alone.

"Baby... look, I know that you're gonna get restless and I know you want to go back to work but right now I'm not putting you on that rota for at least another two weeks. If you stress yourself out at work there will be problems we both know that. And when you come back to work you'll be stuck in the office most likely anyway."

"Ben..." (Y/n) whined his name pleadingly even though she knew it was near impossible to change his mind on most things.

Pushing herself to sit up, (Y/n) leaned over and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her chin on his shoulder causing his head to turn in her direction with a smile. Ben's brows rose when (Y/n) started to feather kisses against his jaw and the top of his neck and he moved his hand to hold hers that were hanging around his neck. He knew she was creeping around him to try and make this work in her favour but he wasn't having it.

She could cling to him all she liked, his mind was made up. Stress would only make (Y/n) a lot worse and when she did come back to work she wouldn't be able to be running around the club doing everything like she did before. Ben would let her do the audits, the rota, the finance books, anything she wanted, but she would be in the office doing that rather than doing anything strenuous.

"What, you think I'll let you run around stocking up or tidying up or moving everything around? If you want to work you can do any of the audits and books you want and you can work from home whenever you want but you are not running around like you always do. Trust me, creeping around me like this won't change my mind, no matter how much I like it."

(Y/n) sighed but her lips curved up when Ben turned around in her arms and leaned over her until she had no choice but to lay back down with Ben hovering over her like the devil himself.

(Y/n) felt her chest starting to flutter and expand like it was filling with air when Ben pressed a rather desperate, bruising kiss to her lips before he started to trail his lips lower. He kissed the junction between her neck and jaw and pulled the skin lightly between his teeth causing an electrifying burning feeling before he moved his lips further down. (Y/n) watched his movements with wide eyes as he reached his hand up and hooked his finger around the collar of the shirt (Y/n) was wearing which he knew to be his own. He pulled the collar down to expose her sternum and the valley of her breasts before he continued kissing her newly exposed skin.

"I thought y-you were going to the club?" (Y/n) breathed heavily through her words and she knew Ben could feel her shivering under his touch.

"Not yet, I've gotta take care of my wife first." Ben murmured the words against her skin and (Y/n) could feel his lips curving into a smirk before he bit down on her skin causing her to gasp.

He wasn't going just yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Can we talk?"

"Why are you here? You seemed rather determined to stay away from me these past few weeks." (Y/n) tightened her hand on the door handle like she was trying to find the courage to shut the door in Joe's face and put distance between them. But she knew she would never be able to do that, she couldn't shut him out like that no matter how badly she wanted to sometimes.

Part of (Y/n) wanted to hide behind the door to stop him scrutinising her and staring at her like he was but (Y/n) felt paralysed to the spot.

"Believe me, I shouldn't be talking to the wife of the murderer I'm trying to arrest... but she happens to be my sister and I need to talk to her."

(Y/n) debated shutting the door, she really did. For the longest second in her life, (Y/n) knew shutting the door would be easier. She knew that if she shut the door on him that would be it, she would be doing to him what he did to her a few weeks ago. He said he couldn't help her and (Y/n) didn't need any help, Ben wasn't a threat to her, he wasn't hurting her and he wasn't putting her in any danger so Joe didn't have to worry or try and get her out of this.

But (Y/n) couldn't shut Joe out, she never had and she never would be able to because he was her brother and he was the only family she had that she could tolerate. When the baby came along Ben and the baby would be the only family (Y/n) had, shutting Joe out somehow felt wrong when a family was all she had ever wanted.

(Y/n) could tell the moment Joe followed her into the living room that he didn't feel at all comfortable. He was walking into the house of a murderer, a man he had told himself every day that he was going to arrest and put behind bars for good. Joe felt like he was trespassing or breaking into someone's house, he felt like he shouldn't be here.

"What do you want to talk about?" (Y/n) brushed her fingers through her hair to push the tangled strands from her face before she slowly moved to sit down on the sofa. She pulled down the sleeves on Ben's dark maroon jumper and leaned back into the sofa, slouching down a bit. Her eyes followed Joe as he moved to it down on the chair, knowing a small amount of space needed to be added between them in case this chat didn't go the way they planned.

"Did he hurt you the other week? Please (Y/n), be honest with me if he did-"

"You watched him take me to the car and drive me to hospital, why would be be that worried if he had hurt me?" (Y/n) smoothed her hand over her stomach as she leaned her head on her free hand. If Ben really had punched or pushed or hurt her then he wouldn't have been so worried about her or concerned because Joe had to know by now that Ben didn't put on a show or fake emotions. He wouldn't have rushed (Y/n) to hospital if he had hurt her and been the cause of her pain.

"Can you blame me for thinking he did? Look, everyone who knows him knows the shit he gets up to but he's slippery, I can't get anything to stick on him even though we all know he did these crimes. If he has hurt you or you know what he's up to... tell me, come and make a statement at the station. You won't be in the wrong or in trouble for doing this."

A violent shiver ran down (Y/n)'s spine and she coiled back into the seat like Joe had threatened her himself.

He was here to try and persuade her to stab Ben in the back. He was trying to get her to go against her husband who she had married a month ago. How could he think she would be so heartless and cruel as to do that and condemn her marriage this soon after marrying Ben? Joe knew more than anyone that (Y/n) married him because she loved him, not out of any fear of Ben or fear for her safety or future. She loved him with everything she had despite who he was or what he did and nothing anyone said was going to make her go against him.

"You can't come running to me trying to get me to go against him like that just because you can't pin anything on him. It doesn't matter if everyone thinks he's done it, I'm not lying about him for you."

"It wouldn't be lying-"

"Joe, he's never hurt me or threatened me before and I don't know what he gets up to, I work at the club and all I see is the legitimate business, I know nothing of any crimes. I won't lie for you, I love him."

(Y/n) held her breath when Joe looked like he wanted to tear his hair out and start screaming. He was at the end of his rope because he was no closer to nailing Ben and it cut right through him that (Y/n) was now on Ben's side. She was in love with a murderer who Joe wanted to put in prison and he knew if he ever managed it, he would tear his baby sister's world into pieces. But he was willing to do that if it meant getting Ben and trying to keep his sister and her baby safe even if she didn't think she was in danger.

He seemed to take a deep breath before he sat on the edge of his seat and propped his arms on his knees. He wanted to put all of his thoughts into (Y/n)'s head and get her to see this from his point of view, but at the same time, he wasn't able to see things from her eyes either.

"(Y/n) it looked like he punched you that day, do you know how that frightened me? I didn't stop you marrying him and one week later he has to take you to the hospital. From the moment I let you walk out that door I've been terrified that I'm gonna get a call out to a domestic situation or the hospital or a body on the ground and I find out it's you. He may love you, he just may, but that doesn't mean he won't lash out and attack you or the baby and all I want is for you to be safe."

Joe saw Ben's record, he had it drilled into his head and he had to put half of those crimes into the system. He saw Ben beat up his most loyal workers until they were put into comas and sent to hospital, he saw Ben beat up men and leave them by the side of the road to be someone else's problem. Ben had no problems with who he hurt and all of his crimes suggest that a wife wouldn't curb his attitude or his frame of mind.

Being married to (Y/n) wasn't going to change Ben and Joe seriously thought that one day Ben was going to snap. He would be angry or worried about something and if (Y/n) said the wrong thing Ben could just blow up and attack her or even just frighten and threaten her and that was enough for Joe to want his sister out of this relationship. With a baby in the mix, it looked like a recipe for torment and abuse to Joe and he couldn't have that happening to (Y/n).

"Never once has Ben made me scared of him, he hasn't degraded me or hit me or been violent or even been angry in front of me and I think that counts more than your intuition that he might, one day, snap at me. He didn't punch me because he would never hurt me, I have a... pregnancy complication, he didn't do anything wrong he's taking care of me. I know you worry but I don't need you to try and ruin this because you're scared of him and I'm not."

"(Y/n) I'm not getting called out to a scene and finding my sister is dead because her brute of a husband thought it was his right to hurt her! You don't know what he's capable of!"

"Money laundering, blackmailing on a large scale, public brutality and GBH. He's broken a man's leg and sternum, he's shot someone in the kneecap, he's slashed a man from his elbow to his wrist vertically until he lost two pints of blood. I saw his file that day at the house, Joe and I looked through it. I knew who he was when I met him and I still married him and you know why? Because he loves me."

(Y/n) saw Ben's file that fateful day and it didn't ward her away from him when she first met him, if anything it drew her in because she didn't believe that charming yet cheeky man could be capable of what was in the file. Part of (Y/n) was still unsure how Ben could do what he did when he was so caring, loving and overall kind and generous to her. But she didn't care, (Y/n) overlooked it all because she loved him and he was the first and only person to show her what love was and who didn't try and put her down or mould her into who he wanted her to be. He influenced her but he didn't shape her or force her into a mould.

He was different and (Y/n) loved him for it.

"A man capable of all that tells you he loves you and you risk your whole faith and religion for him? Don't you see how many sins he puts on you for being with him? How can you be with a man like that and say that you still have faith in God?"

"I don't expect you to understand but I expect you to stop acting as if I'm the killer here. Ben offered me a cigarette when he met me, he didn't make fun of my dress or how childish mother made me look, he didn't question my faith or bring me down because of it. He gave me a car, he gave me a job I love, he taught me how to drive and he gave me a home and my freedom and he never asked for anything in return. He doesn't believe in marriage but he married me because he knew how much it meant to me and my faith. How many other people have been that kind to me in my life? How many others can say they love and appreciate me that much?"

If this conversation lasted much longer (Y/n) knew she was going to have to tell Joe to leave. She was starting to get a headache and he was stressing her out which wasn't a good idea right now. This was pointless anyway, she wasn't going against her husband and nothing Joe said was going to change that or make her agree to what he was asking which was far too much.

"Joe, we're not doing this anymore-"

"Why won't you help yourself! Having a murder's baby, is that really the life you want for your child? Will you tell them all the shit he does or not? If you just come down to the station and make a statement about anything you know or something, please, I can get you out of this I can help you!"

"I don't want your help! I love him, how can you think I'd marry him and then shop him in to you that quickly? I won't do anything like that so you have to stop asking."

"Fine. If he ever does hurt you then for the sake of that child you best come and tell me because I'll still listen, but I'm done trying to save you. If you want to live with him then that's your sin, not mine."

(Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her eyes but they were tears of frustration rather than tears of pain or heartache for her brother. She didn't need saving because she wasn't in danger, Joe was the one in danger constantly trying to pursue Ben and arrest him when he had nothing on him. It wasn't a sin to live with Ben because anything he did didn't reflect or lead to (Y/n), God may punish Ben but he had very little reason t punish (Y/n) other than her turning a blind eye to her husband.

Pressing her hand to her mouth, (Y/n) tried to calm her breathing that was starting to escalate rather quickly. There was no point getting angry when the conversation was over now.

A shudder ran through (Y/n) when Joe slammed the front door behind him and (Y/n) leaned her head back into the sofa as she closed her eyes. He didn't have the right to come round and say that and expect (Y/n) to understand when he didn't bother to listen to where she was coming from. She was happy, she had a husband and a baby and she wasn't oppressed or confined or told what she could and couldn't do. (Y/n) had a life now and it was her own and that was all down to Ben. She would never stab him in the back like that.

Tilting her head down, (Y/n) looked at her stomach and slowly started gliding her hand over her bump. Three more months and her life was going to change even more than it already had. She would have a proper family, a purpose and no one would be able to control her or tell her what to do or try and make her the perfect little girl.

"When you're here, everything will be better."

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #dad! ben #imagine #BoRhap #joe mazzello #joe mazello imagine #murderer! ben #shes a good girl

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horansqueen · 4 years ago

Text

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted. I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #sorry it took me so long to update

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chaotic-noceur · 4 years ago

Text

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go.

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight.

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man.

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that.

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight.

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,”

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?”

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg.

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just…stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK.

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell.

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg.

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence!

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL.

❖❖❖❖❖

ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd.

❖❖❖❖❖

eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

❖❖❖❖❖

ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words.

❖❖❖❖❖

coda

...

that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*.

#pragma commentary

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nadziejastar · 4 years ago

Link

Oh yeah, I totally agree that people give Nomura way too much credit. I think he’s really creative and there are some people who don’t want to give him ANY credit. But I laugh when I see people look back at the old games like 358/2 Days and try to find evidence that Axel and Saix were really referring to Skuld or that Xigbar was really Luxu the whole time. I’m sorry. There is not a single shred of evidence that Skuld was part of Lea and Isa’s story or that Xigbar was faking his personality the entire time. Not until KH3. It might make some people happy to believe so, but there’s no way those ideas were planned in advance. And adding new lore into KHUX just makes things seem even less planned.

I actually do think there was a great deal of planning in the lead-up to KH3. KH2FM, Re:CoM, 358/2 Days, BBS, Coded, and DDD, all were created with the end goal of KH3 in mind. Nomura wasn’t just making each of those games up as he went, like some think. And it’s one of the biggest reasons why I was so upset with how KH3 turned out. KH3′s terrible story is absolutely not a case of 5D chess, lol. More like a complete mess because of Square’s development hell and Nomura’s own change of plans. It’s actually remarkable to me how sloppy KH3′s story felt, especially at the Keyblade Graveyard. So many things that happened just felt like they came out of nowhere and made no sense.

People don’t have too hard of a time believing that there were huge changes to the world of Arendelle in mid-development. It’s because of how much of a mess the world was. The Game Theory video suggests that this prerendered cutscene was already created and Square didn’t want to spend unnecessary money re-animating it.

So, when they changed the plot of the world, they HAD to have Larxene wrap Sora in a dark bubble where time stood still so she could give the necessary exposition. Although this Larxene cutscene happens before the prerendered scene, it was created later. They needed to have it not contradict the following prerendered scene. That’s why the scene was SOOO incredibly awkward. And this theory makes perfect sense and I 100% believe that was the case. I believe that was the case with MANY scenes in the game.

I’ve watched the KH3 cutscenes over and over while doing my rewrite fic. This scene really jumped out at me for how bizarre it was (though it’s FAR from the only example). I suspect it was the same as the Arendelle scene. In canon, Donald uses Zettaflare against a nonsensically overpowered Terranort who just happens to fight everyone for no reason. But if you look closely, everyone’s poses are far more consistent with the tornado approaching.

My own personal belief is that the second half of this cutscene (Light Expires) was already created in advance. It was meant to take place after the most of the 13 darknesses were defeated in the maze. Then the team retreats so they can reunite with Donald and Goofy who stayed behind with Yen Sid.

Ventus and Lea were unconscious because they were using the power of waking on Terra and Isa. Then the Heartless tornado shows up and the others are trying to protect them from it. Donald used Zettaflare on the tornado which was just about to swallow everyone up. And the tornado just comes back and sucks them up anyways. Square didn’t want to spend the money to re-animate any more scenes than they had to, so they left that scene as it was.

After the story was changed, they created the (horrible and ridiculous) cutscene of Terranort single-handedly steamrolling everyone, and it had to be consistent with the cutscene which already existed. Terranort HAD to knock Ventus and Lea out because they were already unconscious in the other scene. Ven had to be lying on the ground in that spot and Lea had to be leaning against that rock. That’s the ONLY explanation I can possibly come up with for why that scene is so freaking awkward.

I think the same was true for the ending. It was created a long, long time ago and was prerendered so I’m sure it was expensive and they didn’t want to change it completely if they didn’t have to. When Donald points over at Kairi, he’s all excited and smiling. Like he’s expecting her and Sora to kiss or something. Everyone then looks over at them, and it seems like they’re happy for them to get some alone time. Why would they act like that if Kairi was actually sitting alone? Of course, Sora fading away is only a minor change to what was otherwise a very happy ending (which I 100% believe was the planned ending).

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turtle-steverogers · 5 years ago

Note

I can’t write for shit but I know you are really talented ,so what about an angst about Spot going to war and he doesn’t make it back and Race and their 1 year old son go to visit his grave and talk to him? Idk you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but I thought it was a really cool idea

hi! so this is a pretty on brand prompt (especially for a certain upcoming Thing, but...,,.,) but anyway yeah here’s a fic. hope i did your idea some justice!

warnings: lots of talk of death, but nothing graphic. my shitty, caffeine muddled writing (truly, not my best work, sorry)

ship: sprace

word count: 1529

editing: nein

Just Out of Reach

“Aye, Sergeant, need some water up there?”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

A water bottle is passed up to Spot, and he takes it, taking one hand off the M2 machine gun that’s deadbolted down in front of him and using his teeth to unscrew the cap. He hadn’t realized how goddamn thirsty he’d been, but it’s fairly easy and not at all uncommon to lose touch with yourself during the methodical cycle of a mission.

Really, it’s just reconnaissance. Mapping out the desolate land that surrounds base- cataloguing the unknowns and the possible threats. It’s the simple stuff. The required bits that make the more strategic missions possible. But they still take long as hell and Spot’s willing to bet that he’s sweat through his fatigues by now as he bakes in the desert sun. His helmet is scratchy and the army-issued goggles are digging into his skull, squeezing his brain and making his head throb. The water helps a bit.

His vehicle is at the front of the convoy, and somehow, he found himself perched in the turret, calculating gaze scanning around for anything amiss. They near an Iraqi village, vacated looking buildings lining either side of the sandy, dirt road.

Spot thinks he sees a few windows shutter closed and when he looks to his left, there’s a little girl (she can’t be more than five. Christ) sitting on her stoop, knees pulled up to her chest. She’s staring at the convoy, eyes wide and fearful and fingers plugged into her ears. Spot feels a pang of...of something. Guilt, maybe. Sympathy.

Really, none of these people asked for this. They never wanted big, scary men in big, scary vehicles shouting out foreign remarks and invading their space- their homes.

Spot forces his gaze back to the front, willing himself to focus back on the task at hand. But he can’t help his mind wandering back to that little girl. There was something about her. The innocence, maybe. The simplistic look of discernable fear in the face of something scary.

He thinks of Teddy.

His son’s own wide, brown eyes and chubby, five year old cheeks. Really, they’re not so different- that girl and Teddy. They’re lives are so drastically diverse from one another, but they share that same, innate naivete. The all prevailing look of curiosity that only kids can convey.

Spot misses Teddy.

Granted, he always misses him and Race. The feeling isn’t mutually exclusive to any one moment, but sometimes the ache will grow into more of a pain, gripping his chest with longing to kiss his husband and hug his son. Maybe dig his fingers into Teddy’s sides as he picks him up and swings him, planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. It’s a foolproof way to make him laugh. And if Race is there, he’ll laugh too. There are some things in life he can count on to be constant, and his family is one of them.

He comes back to himself as he nears a stoplight and suddenly, something in the world seems wrong. He’s just about to secure himself around the gun when there’s a shout from down below and then the humvee is jerkily rolling to a stop and that’s when Spot sees the wire and that can only mean someone’s going to die if they don’t fucking stop right fucking now and--

Nothing.

“Papa, can we go see Daddy today?”

Race freezes halfway through screwing the cap off a carton of milk. He turns to look at his son and finds him staring at him in all his six and a half year old glory. His hair is a mess of bedhead and sleep and even though Race had gotten him up and dressed in a decent amount of time for a Saturday, he still looks rumpled. But that’s just how kids are, Race guesses.

It had been a year since Race’s life took a tumble into the realm of his worst nightmare. A year since Lieutenant Kelly and Sergeant Jacobs had shown up on his doorstep, clad in Army Service Uniforms and wearing twin, somber looks.

It hadn’t taken long for Race to piece together why they were there.

That day was still hazy, a jumbled mix of numb shock and things like, “we regret to inform you” and “killed in action” and then there was Teddy pulling at his pant leg and asking him with those wide goddamn eyes why “guys dressed like Daddy” were there and Race didn’t know how to tell him that Daddy’s gone, because how the hell do you explain that to a five year old and he wasn’t equipped to deal with something like this and he still isn’t and-

Yeah. A nightmare.

Race still isn’t sure if Teddy knows exactly what happened. He seems to understand that Spot is gone and that fundamentally, he isn’t coming back, but he doesn’t think Teddy understands death yet. The finality of it- the weight behind the concept.

It was inexplicably haunting to see Teddy not crying at Spot’s funeral. Race was crying. Hell, Race was a mess. It was so bad that Albert had to take over his eulogy and Jojo had to watch Teddy for a few minutes while he lost his shit in the bathroom.

But Teddy hadn’t cried. He’d just clung to Race with a tight grip and wide, bewildered eyes, not saying a word.

“Sure, bud,” Race says, shaking himself and pouring the milk into Teddy’s bowl of Lucky Charms, “we can go see Daddy.”

He takes Teddy along to Spot’s grave fairly often, but he never really knows how much of it he processes. Like at the funeral, he’s always quiet and subdued when they go, never really saying anything. Just sitting in Race’s lap, head bent into the crook of his neck as he stares at the headstone.

“Yay!” Teddy bounces a little in his seat, grinning as Race sets his breakfast in front of him, “I want to tell him about my dance recital!”

Something in Race’s chest cracks open, making him feel simultaneously warm and cold and entirely overwhelmed.

On their way to the cemetery later, they pass a man selling custom bouquets on the street. Brilliant mixes of orchids and roses, gardenias and anemones, bleeding color into the cold grey of winter, and when Teddy sees them and turns that pleading look on Race, well, who is he to say no?

“Hi, Daddy!”

For once, Race stays a little off to the side, watching his son sit cross legged in front of Spot’s grave. He’s talking, words spilling out at about a mile a minute, but Race tunes them out. This is their private moment and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that.

“I kinda wish you coulda seen it, but…” Teddy shrugs, mouth grimacing in a way that’s so strikingly Spot that Race has to close his eyes for a moment, “That’s okay. I know you woulda come if you coulda.”

And, well, ouch.

“Anyway, I brought my scarf for you, Daddy,” Race opens his eyes to see Teddy carefully wrapping his little Thomas the Tank Engine scarf around the headstone, just over where he’d placed the flowers they picked up earlier, “‘Cause it’s getting cold and Papa always tells me that scarves help make you super warm.”

Race has to bite his lip to keep from crying or doing something stupid to ruin his son’s moment and, like, breakdown in front of him.

“Anyway, I’ll let you talk to Papa now, ‘cause I know he always likes to talk to you a little,” He smacks a kiss onto his palm and presses it to Spot’s engraved name, “Bye bye, Daddy, I love you.”

When he turns to look at Race, he’s smiling. It’s big and unyielding and Race fucking melts, because this is all he really wants. Sure, when Teddy gets older, Spot’s absence will ring loud and daunting, but hell, if he can have any ounce of peace with it then, well, Race...Race is fucking ecstatic. He can handle this.

“Your turn, Papa!” Teddy says, beckoning Race to sit down and climbing into his lap when he does.

“Thanks, little man,” Race hugs Teddy close, “Did you have a good time talking to Daddy?”

“Uh huh,” Teddy says, squirming a little in Race’s tight hold, “I know he was listening super good, I could feel it.”

Race swallows, “Oh yeah?” Teddy nods, “I’m super glad, Teds.”

And maybe, really, that’s what this is about. Spot’s death was a curveball thrown with the wrong hand, jarring a perceived reality and shifting everything Race had known a little too far to the left. And no, it isn’t okay. Maybe it’ll never be okay, but it doesn’t have to be. Spot’s still there, lingering somewhere in their hearts and made real by his memory- their memories of him. He’s still palpable, still reachable, and if Teddy can feel it, maybe Race can too.

Race takes a breath, fortifying and fond, then smiles. It doesn’t feel so strained and Race feels just that much lighter when he clears his throat.

“Hey, Spottie…”

it wasn’t very good don’t clown me please my brain said ‘sorry bud’ today

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @getchapapes @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable

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#newsies #racetrack higgins #newsies fic #spot conlon #sprace #oof

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expression-in-its-essence · 5 years ago

Text

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

#donna tartt #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #finn wolfhard #oakes fegley #ansel elgort #aneurin barnard #the goldfinch #boreo

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