#but althea feels like she's at the 'i want to be her' stage of certain discoveries

[apamates]

reading between the lines and thinking thoughts about althea, self-confidence and sexuality

many other women see Althea as this woman who's not bound by rules but the moment she's faced with Amber and Jek, women who freely exercise agency (because they weren't brought up under bingtown societal expectations), she envies their confidence and their apparent ability to not see themselves through other's eyes

[valanthius-xiv]

E n g a g e

[Ambiance] || 1.occupy, attract, or involve (someone's interest or attention).

      Revarik had been settled onto the couch that Defiant Bride had allowed him to utilize with the assistance of his brother in arms, Caelric. The recent retrieval mission of the Glass Network had been successful, but the mode that had to be engaged had started an unfavorable chain reaction. The most notable among them Enambris, but now it was no secret that his kill switch could still be flipped and it altered the tide of morale amongst the leadership. Fortunately, Caelric still knew those codes and managed to salvage the Lion from his initiated state of a Loyalty soldier. 

       Hours had gone by and all within the refuge that Defiant had allowed him to utilize had been quiet. Food and water had been plentiful. Sleep was a necessity after having siphoned the overwhelming amount of aether from Enambris and utilized to reinforce the last resort in reclaiming Ruka from the clutches of Ana. Although, there was still a loss in Araris and the mind of the former Praefectus weighed in on it. 

    Flashes of memory erupted like fireworks within the mind of the resting Lion. Everyone was gathered around the table awaiting instruction and orders. A reflection of a time before the commencement of another raid. They mirrored each other to a degree that may have been terrifying to one capable of feeling the emotion of fear. The data downloaded, the protocols set, and the operation was set into motion. The only difference this time was the cookies that Koko attempted to offer to the masses. 

  Oliver and Serris’s face came into view briefly. Their connection with the Fool’s Covenant had been another solidifying moment of recalling pivotal moments of action. Samara and Ulan were also recent additions and while he attempted to settle his thoughts on their occupying reason within the Network more details were organized for easier access to his cerebral files. It seemed the Network was growing exponentially and expanding their resources.

    It was these little pieces of detail within the fragments of his thoughts that was able to separate the two instances most. His awareness of his surroundings replayed moments. Lydia throwing the treat behind her against the wall. The towering Titus and Avidia passing them back and forth to avoid touching them. Some sweeping the baked goods beneath the table and the brave few who did devour them such as Ibahka.

    He understood why the Auri woman was so rattled. Ibby had lost an arm, lost a friend, and making deals with devils like the Tooth Fairy did little to settle nerves. It had been necessary with the time frame, but despite Ibahka’s experience and strength, her emotional compromised position made her difficult to predict. Yet, even so, his main focus was on how Astra handled her position and the challenges she was about to endure. If she was to be a leader there were certain aspects of her nature he needed see come to fruition. They still needed to talk and he knew he had answers she sought.

   Fast forward in an attempt to keep track of what had happened and when it had all gone dark. Through a wonderland of flesh and unsavory twists of defiled life, the Network marched until they held firm at the offered gate into the next realm to retrieve their comrade, Ruka. Althea was on standby as a healer and charged with her protection was Toshiro. Enambris had authorized that choice, but Revarik recalled not letting the man’s hasty words derail his focus on his primary mission. 

   Again, another flash occurred. The closeness of Enambris, the sudden rush through the gate, Fabius blowing through the doors, and the addictive feeling of having so much energy and adrenaline rushing through his veins. The battle high he had only encouraged him to completely eradicate Ana’s devotion to shattering the Network in her home. He did not recall what he had said, but he did recall feeling himself up to his neck in a substance he couldn’t break when the Drowned Queen had had enough of his provoking statements. 

   That had been his purpose for taking a different direction than the main forces, after all. Draw her attention and the second half is where it went wrong. Too long. Time ticked on and he found himself beneath Ana’s heel. The internal scans attempted to recover more bits and pieces to the moment. Flicks of picture caught Enambris being stabbed, Titus being charged by Avidia, the head of Charis being crushed, and the chaos that was following in the wake of the Drowned Queen’s rage.

   He should have vacated before that point but one word echoed...

   Coward... Coward... COWARD

    There were some who already believed him to forsake his people. The Network had already suffered losses and setbacks. He refused to have that title attached to his name and with that prideful behavior he continued to antagonize an entity that could easily have eradicated him. He should have been gone, but he had yet to hear word by the time it was too late to turn back. Thus, if it had been that moment he was to face death... he would have done so gladly, with a smile on his lips, and spit in the eye of the reaper. 

     But something worse happened... 

     Phrases that were embedded deep within the engineered male had been the ignition to the gears that suddenly spun to action. Caelric uttered those damnable words and as Revarik tried to process it he was faced with another confliction. He had lost control and Loyalty had been engaged. The immediate threat and preservation of the Network’s General had signaled for every onze of aetheric pressure he had stored to go into overdrive.

     Faces of worlds long demolished echoed in his memory, the howls and fearful cries of lands decimated rang loudly, and the murderous visions of kingdoms conquered replayed in a vivid light. This is what he tried to avoid. Loyalty did not let him forget. Loyalty did not let him go. Loyalty was manufactured beneath the flesh and disgust started to rattle within Revarik. The urge to peel his skin off of the bone was strong as he tried to weather through the rush of unfiltered sights and sounds that clouded his mind’s eye. 

     Modified teeth gritted as he growled and hands clenched strongly to whatever he could grab nearby. The white crown of the Pureblood whipped to the side violently as he arched in his place of rest. More faces began to line his vision for what felt like malms upon malms of expanse. Their names, their families, their lives, their files, and information overloaded the brain’s mainframe-like setup.

    Those that served beneath him as Praefectus, those that had fallen in the wake of his orders, and beyond yet to the lives that had been struck down by his decisions for as far back as the man’s mind could recall. Death followed him. It existed within him. It warred with his philosophy and reservations for life. Each time Loyalty was revitalized he was gifted that wretched reminder and each time more were added to the cycle of knowledge of who could have been saved, who could still have been here, and who was responsible for taking that opportunity away.

   Wave after wave of unrelenting feelings and repressed emotions bombarded him until he could no longer take remaining still. The Lion staggered to his feet soaked from the sweat that was produced by the impressions of the past. He felt all of their pains, all of their aches, their woes, and their pleas. He had to get some air before he had a meltdown in Defiant’s home.     Shirtless, mask left behind, and barefooted without regard to anything else at that stage. He needed a measure of solitude, a measure of stability, and a means to relinquish every bit of that accumulated frustration before he went nuclear.     This was a product of Loyalty and the fruits of their war, but all the poor creature wanted...                              ... was peace.

Story: @givethemtothegallows

PoV: Revarik Valanthius

Mentions: @charm-in-spades // @enambris // @ascalonffxiv // @quick-n-silver // @lizardwaifu // @accaliadecorus ... gonna be here all day taggin’. @bride-and-bride // @titus-kagimake-ffxiv // @el-v-i-s // help a brother out here. @lydia-ffxiv // @olisnark // @polymorphologist // it is very late. Someone tag the rest.