#but also? if i was was seungmin i'd never get him a present again like nah nahhhh

[faunandfloraas]

Oh my god 😭

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

𝙴𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 - a Han Jisung short au!fanfic

PART 9

💫PART 10💫

2 weeks go by at the speed of light. You're barely getting used to share your life with Han, sharing your meals and your bathroom and your laughs and your heart with him, trying to numb out the ache residing in you, you're barely catching up to that when the day Felix has his flight to Vientiane arrives, pulling the rug out from the beneath your feet.

The guys are emotional, needless to say. The tight knit group huddled together at the gate, virtually occupying the entire area just the 8 of them. You and Han had revealed your relationship to all of your friends a few days earlier, the occasion turned into a farewell to Felix and a celebration for your young love all at once, the sappy tears wetting everyone's faces. Not as much as today though. Even Minho struggles to hold back the tears, though he jokes it's just sweat coming out of his tear ducts.

"United Airlines flight 404357 to Vientiane is now open. Passangers can proceed to security checks at gate 43".  The loud speakers boom and echo through the walls and just like the final beeping of a ticking bomb, it unravels a chain reaction where everone starts sobbing one after the other, much to Felix's already heavy heart, "that's me, guys", he says gingerly.

Hyunjin lurches himself at him, almost tackling him in his embrace, "Yongbokah don't forget about me yeah? Don't be a stranger, please don't", he says quietly, his voice broken as Felix holds him the best he can considering the sizable height difference, "I would never, man, I would never". They pat each other's back a few times and just when you think Hyunjin has finally let go of him, he wails and cries out and pulls Felix right back into his arms.

You break at that. The emotions running through each and everyone of you are so strong that seeing them all so clearly affected makes you want to sink into the ground. You can't help but wonder if you not corresponding Felix's feelings had catalyzed his decision to pursue his volunteer work.

Sure, he was always going to be doing that sometimes in the near future, but suddenly that future had become your very present. You wonder if you had just been completely unaware, blinded by you suppressed feelings for Han to notice that your best friend was slipping away right from your fingertips.

Changbin puts on the toughest act he can, tries to remain stoic and reliable for the very teary very emotional Jeongin who hides behind his back. Except he bursts into tears the second Felix embraces him, he tries his best to smile through the pain, repeatedly patting his younger friend back while also letting him squeeze his arm muscles for one last time, "thank you Yongbokah, never thought I'd say this but thank you for all the squeezes and the cookies and your warm smiles, I can't wait to experience them all again and then whine about it".

Everyone erupts into light, half choked giggles, a little breather in between the heartfelt goodbyes being exchanged. Felix has to then pry Jeongin away from his older friends arms to give him a proper hug, he even plops a little kiss to his temple which is uncharacteristically welcomed, and returned, even: "don't tell my girlfriend I did that", the younger one he manages, making everyone stifle their laughs.

"Oh I will Innie, first thing I do once I land will be calling her up and tell her all about it", Felix jokes, trying to make light of the situation despite his own eyes betraying just how meaningful it was for him to have Jeongin being so openly affectionate.

The next slightly reticent one is Seungmin, who blinks away tear after tear as he lets Felix hug him with full force, "I'm going to miss you, man. I didn't get tell you nearly enough but I do care about you, a lot", he says quietly, a little remorsefullness in his voice, "it's okay, I always knew you did Mong Mong, I'm going to miss you too".

Minho smiles awkwardly and tries to comfort his friends up until the moment it is his turn to say goodbye, he sniffles very very quietly, trying not to let everyone know he's been secretly crying a lot more than he lets on, and when Felix hugs him he picks him up from the ground and squeezes him tightly, "Yongbok you silly little thing, why do you have to go and  break my heart like this uh? ", he says only half jokingly, his voice ultimately breaking on his last syllables.

"I'm sorry, will you forgive me if I promise to feed in your name all the stray cats that I'll meet?", Felix rebukes laughing, and Minho shakes his head, smiling softly at him, "you are already forgiven. Feed yourself, a lot. And be good, alright?", he adds, patting his friend's head.

Chan is on a other level of heartbreak. Chan looks like he is physically in pain. Him and Felix hug the longest so far, they barely speak a word to one another, though something tells you they had a very long and deep talk prior to today. Their embrace looks like the safest, warmest little home created among themselves, it lingers as they rub each other's backs and hold each other's hands briefly, complicit, silent words being exchanged through their eyes only.

You look down at your feet, your heart sunken so deep down your stomach you're not sure you can witness anymore goodbyes for the rest of your life. One more, you think, anticipating Felix is going to go to Han next but he hugs you.

And there's no amount of time or self psyching into not crumbling into tiny pieces that could have ever prepared you for the wave of utter yearning that crushes you the second you're being engulfed into your best friends' arms, one last time, for a very long time. River like tears spilling from your eyes, you hug him so tight, cry so loud the guys around you shield your fragile frame from nosy passangers looking in on the scene.

Felix lets you cry all of your tears, never minding the wet patch forming on his shirt, he rubs your back soothingly and rests his chin on your shoulder, "I love you, I'll miss you so much, please be happy, please be so happy you forget what sadness feels like. Hannie's got you, the guys got you, you are so loved y/n, so loved", he reassures you quietly, a few of his own tears falling down your back.

"I love you Lix", is all you can manage in broken sobs, your voice dying in your throat before it ever has the chance to come out. It's like your brain goes blank, even if there are a million things you want to say to him, they all vanish in the moment, and all you're left with is this immense feeling of pure, ephimereal affection for him.

Felix carefully peels himself off of you and caresses your cheek, brushing away a few tears in the process, "time zones suck but I'll always be just one phone call away okay? You can reach out to me anytime, beasties get no time limitations, you get the no interruptions privileges, you call me and I'll pick up, no matter the weird hour", he asserts reassuringly, smiling kindly at you, to which you can only feebly smile back too, as you nod.

Han doesn't wait for Felix to come to him, he pulls him to his chest and cradles his head like he would with a baby, crying all the while, "I love you, man, I love you so fucking much it hurts, I'm so sorry for everything", "I love you too, jagi", Felix hugs him warmly, smiling lightly as he rubs Han's back.

"You are forgiven for anything you think you need forgiveness for, you are the light of this group, one of the brightest, kindest souls I've ever met, but don't forget to save some of that light for yourself too, and for her", he says softly, pointing at you as he lets go of Han who nods firmly, pulling you onto his side, "you're holding my world right now, please take care of her", Felix adds, a little more somber, "I solemnly promise you I will, I lost her once, I'm never letting that happen ever again. I swear to you, I swear on your beautiful heart too".

You take refuge into Han's chest and arms as the 8 of you watch Felix's plane soar to the sky, tears stricken faces and tender gazes as you all silently wish him the very best. It's bittersweet, knowing you had to let him go in order fro him to be truly happy, the same way he had to do the same for you.

"Am I selfish for thinking it's unfair I could never have both you and him close to my heart in different ways but at the same time? Like... I had Felix close, but you so far away, metaphorically speaking. And now I have you here, physically here, very much close to my heart, and Felix gone, physically 2 time zones away from me, isn't it tragically funny?", you ramble, knitting your eyebrows together as you air out your thoughts.

Han chuckles and kisses your cheek," it is, my love. But I don't think it's selfish, I think it's human nature. I guess sometimes we're just blind to the things we have, and only realise how valuable they are when they're already gone. But Felix isn't going to be gone forever, so keep that in mind, your heart will be full again. In the mean time I promised him I was going to make you happy no matter what, and I have every intention to".

The familiar fuzziness spreads in your chest, you reach up to him and kiss him, placing your hand on his chest, his hearbeat thrumming against your palm, "my heart is full, wide open for you", you murmur, resting your head on his chest, closing your eyes to the night.

🥀FIN🥀