#but also without Paula there's not really a show. it is very much a show about Rebecca causing immense fucking disasters around herself

[giantkillerjack]

Watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend from the start so I can finally finish the show, and I forgot just how badly Paula enables Rebecca's bad behavior immediately right out the gate in the biggest ways possible.

Also the actress playing Paula is fucking fantastic. Simultaneously a great best friend, an overbearing mother, an unfulfilled woman looking for better things, and an evil mastermind with an incredible voice! I'm excited to see where her character goes in the 4th season!

[thesiltverses]

Hello! I found the silt verses about three weeks ago and have listened to it several times since. I have a few things to say.

I absolutely adore that episode about the national grid workers. I think it’s my favorite episode of any podcast I’ve ever listened to. My favorite part of that first episode Paige is in is how she justifies not standing up for Vaughn, that cognitive dissonance that you wrote so well. This episode gives me what I wanted from that episode, the workers all banding together to stop the wasteful sacrifice of one of them. The actor who played the foreman did an incredible job as well. I think that having him discuss which of his workers he would sacrifice was such a significant moment, despite how brief it is. It cuts right to the big question that I took away from the podcast which is, “How much is someone willing to sacrifice in order to maintain their comfort?” And the utter disrespect of Glodditch (apologies for the spelling) refusing to cancel even the radio but asking grid workers to kill themselves for 200kw/h! Top tier episode.

I grew up in the south and went to college in Appalachia. I saw the disparity in technology and “advancement” if that makes sense that poverty brings, and the way you set up the world invokes that feeling in me again. You are an amazing world builder and storyteller.

I really enjoyed the cameos - I’m a big fan of malevolent/devisor, Old gods of Appalachia, and all of Jonny sims work, so hearing familiar voices was an absolute delight. Harlan Guthrie as an acolyte of the snuff gods might have been a bit too on the nose with some of the things that man writes, though… /pos

I’m transmasculine, and something that I really appreciate is how you manage to make a trans man do some objectively awful things, but still manage to make him a complex, full character that I was rooting for very frequently. Brother Faulkner is so, so important to me as a character. Paula Vogel has a play called “Indecent,” which is about the true story of a troupe of I believe German Jewish actors between the years of 1910ish and 1940s putting on a show called “God of Vengeance” by Sholem Asch, also a Jewish man. “God of Vengeance” has queer themes and received a lot of criticism from the Jewish community for showing Jewish folks in a “bad” light at a time when there was already so much hatred for Jewish people. Brother Faulkner being as complex and, in my opinion, malicious and cutthroat as he is at a time when trans people face so much bigotry, especially legislatively in the United States, brings this conversation about “God of Vengeance” up again for me. I also love how normalized non-binary people are in this world, without question. “Sibling this or that,” the hunter, adjudicator Shrew - big thanks from me for all of this.

All of this to say, I love this podcast. Can you talk more about the rhetorical gods? Is Babble one? What makes them one if they are, or why aren’t they? I’m fascinated by them. Can you talk more about the propaganda gods too?

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and kind words!

I'll check out Indecent, it sounds really interesting and I'm very glad to hear Faulkner works for you as a character. I think the topic of how to include and write queer characters who are capable of terrible things and thoughts (because, after all, these characters are human beings and not tutelary exemplars), within the context of both a rising movement of transphobia right now and centuries-old scapegoating / pathologising portrayals more generally, is a really knotty but a really important one, and I always want to make sure I'm approaching it with care and due responsibility as well as a sense of humility around the limitations of what, as a cis writer, I can actually achieve.

To that end, I don't want to ever take the audience response for granted, but I'm always really grateful to hear that the portrayal is working for a listener!

Propaganda gods: gods whose prayer-marks or ritual verses are fed directly to the enemy, enforcing destructive or sabotaging changes to reality (so rather than sending a destructive saint or angel to rampage over the foe, you might drop pamphlets or send radio messages to the enemy to 'convert' them).

Rhetorical gods: gods whose followers possess reality-warping powers of language itself (which is why 'rhetorical god' is a polite way of saying 'liar's god'). In other words, the paranoia around them comes partly down to the fact that a disciple like Val may appear to be a limitless shaper of new forms, rather than shaped into a limited form of their own, as a result of their worship.

[oifaaa]

they made the aisian mom worse than the white dad from the comics

Did they tho? I'm gonna have to guess here which Asian mum white dad your talking about here bc there is 4 main ones in the show that being sportsmaster and Paula; jade and will; lady shiva and David cain tho he's not actually in the show; Talia and Bruce

Let's get the obvious out of the way Paula is portrayed as a way better parent then sportsmaster there shouldn't be any debate in that - Talia in the show is also so far been portrayed as a good mom tho we've not seen a lot of her and damian she says that damian will be protected and will not grow up without his mum - jade leaves lian and Will bc she's worried that her dangerous life may put them both in risk but she is shown to be constantly doubting that choice and wants to go back to them considering jade also leaves lian with Roy in the comics bc jade thinks that will be safer for her theres not really much difference in their level of parenting

That leaves lady shiva and David cain tho as stated cains not in the show so we don't actually know if he's still her dad- in the comics cain raises cass in complete solitude to the point that she's never heard anyone speak so she herself is unable to speak, being raised to be nothing but a weapon when she is 8 years old cain makes cass kill for the first time, she doesn't like that so she escapes her dad and lives the next 8 years on her own, she will later meet her mom lady shiva who knew what cains plain was when she handed cass over to him but was interested to see if he could make a child that would one day be able to kill her and that's what she wanted from cass when they later meet a fight to the death - in the yj cartoon shiva is the one training cass instead but instead of not letting cass hear speech for the first few years of her life lady shiva instead damages her vocal cords so she's unable to speak - she's sent out on her first mission to assassinate joker when she's 15 but babs stops her before she's able to - I can not honestly say I think yj lady shiva is a worse or better parent then David cain is in the comics to me they're pretty even for shitty parent but lady shiva isn't even a parent to cass in the comics they have this really interesting complex relationship but a good parent to cass yeah not really

Dc does have a big issue with how they portray asain mums in their comics but it is very disingenuous to say they are portraied worse in the yj cartoon bc that's just not true

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Hardy Women: Mother, Sisters, Wives, Muses

Author: Paula Byrne

First published: 2024

Rating:  ★★★★☆

A biography of a great writer but told through the women in his life, both real and fictional. I liked that idea a lot and Paula Byrne does a good job gathering information, pointing out connections, and for once showing that even iconic artists are dependent for much of their eventual fame on those around them. It is a big book but the chapters are quite short, which makes it easy to go read without being fatigued. Naturally, Hardy's works are explored with quite a lot of detail, so if you do not want to be spoiled for certain books, read those first.

Love in the Time of Cholera

Author: Gabriel García Márquez

First published: 1985

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Was this beautiful, rather captivating, well-constructed? Absolutely. I had a hard time putting this book down, in fact. It offers a brilliant insight into how people perceive themselves in time and how it feels to grow old. But there are also elements involved and glossed over which I found too disturbing to now say I loved this book. Rape and paedophilia are both included as something completely normal (even desirable) and the "love" of the main character is really just stalker-is obsession. I hope to read more by Marquez, preferably something with the same quality of writing and less disturbing sex stuff.

The Diary of a Provincial Lady

Author: E.M. Delafield

First published: 1930

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Loved the breezily sarcastic tone in which the entries are written, describing the everyday chores and tasks and social obligations in a quite funny way. On the other hand, there really isn´t a story in there. I would also wish that publishers would include translations from French instead of assuming everybody still speaks it as if we lived at the 1885 Russian Imperial Court.

Herc

Author: Phoenicia Rogerson

First published: 2023

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Modern language, modern mindset, modern world views, modern and "cool everything... there is nothing that would even remotely feel like a Greek myth.

Luck of the Titanic

Author: Stacy Lee

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Unfortunately, it would seem, that no fictional book about the Titanic can weave a story without completely denying the near impossibilities of the class divide. The first half of the book, where disbelief had to be employed at all times, was simply OK, but the last 70-or-so pages, dealing with the sinking, I found thrilling and eventually quite moving. A good book for younger readers.

Decameron

Author: Giovanni Boccaccio

First published: 1349

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Do not enter this book with the notion you can breeze through it. You cannot and you should not, because quite frankly, reading more than a few of the 100 stories gets tiring and tedious very quickly. However, if you settle yourself comfortably with an almost full-cast audiobook and measure out the stories wisely, this can is not bad at all. If nothing else, it stands as an interesting mirror of its time and mindset. Also, gives you a great idea of what medieval people did instead of watching porn and reading raunchy novels. Some stories are quite funny, some totally bonkers.

An Education in Malice

Author: S.T. Gibson

First published: 2024

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Perhaps my rating is pretty harsh, but I read this book very quickly and still, when I reached the end, I felt like it had been a waste of time.

The Foundling

Author: Stacey Halls

First published: 2020

Rating: ★★★☆☆

This was a pretty solid piece of historical fiction. I simply wish it was a little more complicated, a little longer to really sink into the characters.

The Familiar

Author: Leigh Bardugo

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Seemingly perfect in the choice of set up and the setting, the book teethers on the brink of being simply boring due to an incredibly slow start. It does get better, but I never truly warmed up to the main character and all in all felt underwhelmed after I had enjoyed other works by the same author. Not bad, not great.

The Meaning of Mary Magdalene: Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity

Author: Cynthia Bourgeault

First published: 2010

Rating: ★★★★☆

Only slowly I gather all of my thoughts on this (quite slim) volume and frankly, other reviewers have summed up many of my own feelings better than I could. I have always felt a pull by the character of Mary Magdalene and I found the author´s research and conclusion fascinating, if not always easy to grasp at once, I did question some of her assumptions as more of wishful thinking than historical probability. At some points, it also smelled a bit too strongly of eastern esoterism for my liking. I have never felt a need to insert "feminine energy" into Christ´s ministry, I could feel those women who followed Him quite well, but it is true that for aeons the organized church (both catholic and protestant), chose to ignore them. So it is good and necessary to remind them about the importance of women generally and Mary Magdalene specifically. Even if you do not agree with all that the author suggests (never forcibly pushes), I found this book a valuable reminder of the fact that the gospels and the story of Jesus are living things still, ready to offer new views and new thoughts, if you care to look. I also appreciated that even though focused on Mary Magdalene, this is a book written with a profound love for Christianity and hope for its renewal and survival in the future.

Ana María and the Fox

Author: Liana De la Rosa

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★☆☆

A decent palate cleanser, but I guess I was not as charmed as I had wished to be. Would not mind reading the next instalment.

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine

Author: Gail Honeyman

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★★☆

I went into this thinking it was a feel-good thing. Boy, was I wrong. This is, in fact, a very painful book about trauma and loneliness, and though it does have the proverbial silver lining, it disturbed me a lot. One of those good books I shall never read again.

[swiftfootedachilles]

Mickey would find a way back to Ian in the psych ward, it would be similar to how he got into prison (ratted on the cartel and chose where he goes) but he'd do some asking around on what gets you into the psych ward and he'd work out what "symptoms" he has and he'd stick with playing them all the time

But the writers would do something shitty like playing up his autism traits then calling him "crazy" for acting like that and that's how he got in

yeahhh the shamey writers have a real knack for making mickey as stereotypically autistic as possible for comedy. i on the other hand am sophisticated in my autismification

but ok ok listen. so seeing as he rolled on the cartel and obviously got a lot in return for his testimony, i definitely think he couldve finagled his way into a secure psych hospital. i mean they obviously shortened or possibly even commuted his sentence in canon, since he was sentenced to 15 (incredibly short for what i assume is attempted murder??), expected to serve 8, but got out in less than 4 after escaping which shouldve added to his sentence. so if he knew ian was getting sentenced to a hospital he couldve done a few things and im gonna lay them out bc each one comes with its own intricacies that writers can expound upon

kept his sentence the same as canon, but he convinces the cops to put him in a psych hospital with ian as part of his deal. otherwise he refuses to talk

commute his sentence on the grounds of insanity, meaning hed talk to a forensic psychologist and talk about his childhood and shit, proving that he was so psychologically damaged as a kid that he somehow ended up having some episode and hurting sammi while legally insane. this could be a great way to really understand mickeys situation growing up. plus i really just want mickey to have his time in the limelight and put on his hurt puppydog face and act/lie his way out of responsibility. perhaps he realizes at some point that hes no longer acting and is truly expressing the raw emotions hes has bottled up since he was a kid 🤔🥺 also of course the new sentence he receives happens to be the same length as ians 🤭

gets his trial thrown out (BECAUSE HE SHOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN CONVICTED IN THE FIRST PLACE THAT WAS BULLSHIT) and gets a retrial, staying in the psych hospital in the meantime for similar reasons as mentioned above. fuck it lets bring back sammi and her kid and get all the gallaghers interviewed by police/giving testimonies in court including fiona!!! and because theyre not fucking dumb this time theyll actually get mickeys ass found NOT GUILTY this time and he can live his mfing life without an adult record. no larry/paula shit, no plothole on how mickey and ian could live together despite both being felons on parole, the dynamic between ian and mickey being flipped on its head now that mickeys got a clean record and ians the convict, omg what if they had their moment of one of them visiting the other in jail and putting their hand on the glass but this time its mickey visiting ian 🥺🥺🥺🥺 im literally bout to throw up

im very much a choose your own adventure kinda headcanoner... no matter how he gets there, mickey fucking GETS THERE. and i just have so many thoughts on how theyd interact with each other as roommates in a psych hospital. ian showing mickey the ropes for the psych side of things and mickey guiding ian thru the criminal/prison-y side 🥺 also i absolutely think mickey would get diagnosed with c-ptsd and autism while in the hospital and ofc at first he denies it, then he goes thru this phase of thinking hes "broken," then ian and his therapists (and an unexpected ragtag group of criminally insane individuals) become a solid story system to learn to accept himself. ian especially. obviously. he makes a list of things to buy mickey once they get out and save the money. because dammit if his lover doesnt have the best sensory corner in all of chicago! and overall they just get to actually... grow as people and as a couple by supporting each other in ways that canon never gave us

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

GALA 10

Here is Gala 9 !!!

This gala was so good!!!! Not only the musical numbers were great (not a bad one was performed imo) but also this was the gala where the first three finalists were selected and although the points the judges assigned each contestant were very... polemic, the final three finalists were greatly chosen and !!!!!

Let's go with the honourable mentions first as always <3

You Oughta Know - Chiara: Chiara was one of my finalists so I'm sad she was expelled this gala, but she went with a bang! I loved seeing rocker Kiki, she was great, and I'm proud of what she's done and what it's to come with her :)

I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing - Lucas: The two nominees were excellent this gala, like extremely good. Imo Lucas was perfect here, like no notes, 10/10. I'm so proud of him and his evolution, remember he was the first nominated and look at him now!

El Mundo - Ruslana: This song is hypnotic, and Ruslana made it captivating and addicting, it's the song I've streamed the most of this gala, and in terms of acting she was also perfect as always. It was also very chilling how after the performance she talked about how she chose this song partly cause it talks about suffering in the world, specifically noting how she wishes wars to end. She's Ukranian, so it was especially moving coming from her.

And now let's go onto the top 3!!!!

3. DESPECHÁ - NAIARA

Here is the original song, by our lord and saviour miss Rosalía <3

I am so in love with every aspect of this performance it's literally perfect. I imagine the team approaching Naiara for this song and asking her 'how much choni do you want it?' and her answering 'yes' cause this is PEAK choni, and I mean it in the best way possible. Absolutely incredible. ALSO. I have to mention the incident in the first mic pass cause it was so very iconic. So basically, when she started her dance break during the makina part, suddenly the cameras showed us the door of the academy and other parts with no people in them with no context??? and after a while they returned to the mic pass and it was revealed that one of naiara's boobs had decided to free herself from her top and yeah. in front of the teachers and the other contestants. she was so embarrassed poor thing. but also it's incredibly funny that it happened with despechá cause yes it means something similar to 'heartbroken' but it can also literally be translated to 'without a breast' which is SO HILARIOUS. Mother Naiara Moreno, first finalist of OT 2023 and likely winner 💋.

2. PAENAMORAR - PAUL THIN

Here is the original song, by Paula Cendejas !!!!!

LADIES GENTLEMAN AND NON BINARY FOLKS, I PRESENT YOU THIRD FINALIST OF OT 2023 PAUL THIN. I AM SO HAPPY GUYS. I came to this gala fully preparing myself to vote him a finalist this next week so when the teachers made him a finalist over Bea or Ruslana I gasped so much IT'S ONLY WHAT HE DESERVES. Also THAT PERFORMANCE. THE VISUALS. THE VOICE. THE RANGE. THE LYRICS. EVERYTHING. Congratulations Pablo Delgado you are perfect. I will not comment on him choosing a song about not being able to fully fall in love with someone but wanting to the week after a particular contestant left the academy. I also won't comment about him singing Exile by Taylor Swift at least once a day on the piano this week as well as Champagne Problems and Memories by Conan Gray, all about missing someone and feeling you were too late to be with someone. Very interesting that he chose Fiebre for this week, a song that has the lyric 'I didn't want to settle, but I would marry you'. Interesting choice that doesn't have any hidden intentions !!! None at all !!!

1. SE ACABÓ - BEA

Here is the original song, by María Jiménez :)

I will just quote Manu Guix for this one: 'Just as people still remember and associate OT 2018 with La Llorona by Alba Reche, I feel this edition will be remembered as the one with Se Acabó by Bea'. It really felt like that. She made quite possibly the best performance of the edition, and i'm SO HAPPY she's finally getting the praise she deserves, she's been so mentally drained this edition I'm so proud of her now. She was third in the judge's ranking and even then she confessed earlier this week that she felt she was overrated like I will fight whoever says she doesn't deserve to be a finalist EVERYONE GO VOTE BEA FINALIST NOW IT'S FREE OF CHARGE. Also the song!!!! For those who don't know, Se Acabó is a very important song in Spanish music because it was the first (or one of the first) song that talked about domestic violence. reminder that this came out while a fascists catholic dictatorship was going on with very rigid gender roles. And María Jiménez was a folclórica, a famous flamenco singer and personality who popularized this song as an anthem for women all around the country who are fed up of consenting abuse by their husbands. María Jiménez passed away at the end of 2023, so this was also the perfect homage to her. May her memory live on forever.

And that was it! As you can see, it was a very intense gala. We now have the three first finalists of OT 2023 (Naiara, Juanjo, and Paul), and next gala is the semi final already (i have no idea what i'll do with my life once OT ends help). As you imagine I'll be saving Bea, as I feel she's the most deserving of being a finalist. I'm also really excited to see Paul performing Fiebre, I am obsessed with this song and it's very different at least acting wise to what Paul has done in the program so I will be seated.

[hanselw]

Paula

(ocs)

Martha de Gonzalez y Lopez (1794-18??), better known as Paula Solano, a 19th century female violinist, was a flash in the pan but brilliant meteor on the European piano scene, but in other places has always blossomed.

Martha González/Paula de Solano (referenced Sarasate)& Tonio Apollo Divoro (combination of Paganini & Goldschmidt)

Martha González was born into an aristocratic family with an author brother. She was a talented violinist and showed her passion from an early age, but because she was a woman her talent was never taken seriously. Her parents were kind to her and did their best to fulfil her wishes, but only to the extent that they felt that her passion for the violin was "the same as all of us aristocrats" and that "it was only right to support her in her musical endeavours, which she loved and which would train her temperament", that they thought she was just playing for fun/it was just a way to kill her time anyway. But Martha really wasn't just killing time, it's just that he parents were so good to her compared to what other families do to their daughters that she couldn't bear to open her mouth or do anything against it. At family gatherings Martha was often asked to perform to the guests of honour, as his parents felt she should more or less show off her accomplishments, but she actually disliked these gatherings, though the thought of being able to play the violin made her go. Outwardly she has always appeared submissive in aristocratic social circles, privately she is actually very thoughtful and has been trying to find a way out without offending her family, thanks to her teacher. Her teacher knows that her family has always defaulted to her "just for fun", but because he knew her genius, he treasured it. Martha's ability had overwhelmed her teacher Alvarez, but he has always supported her on a spiritual level. Although it's useless to just talk about spiritual support in this kind of environment, her teacher had taught her how to grow up, how to show herself as much as she can, and how to make the best use of her ability. He taught her how to grow, how to present herself and make the best use of her abilities.

In 1806, when Martha was 12, González's family was invited to an aristocratic occasion and Martha met the very famous Tonio in his Thirties. The man was known by many names, including Tonio Apollo Divoro, also known as Tonio di Apollo.

Tonio was actually from a very poor background. To be precise, he had forgotten his last name (perhaps selectively), because his family was broken and his parents divorced, so he had been called this since he was a child. When he first came into contact with society, he did not like others to ask about his past. (What is not known is that Tonio Apollo's ancestors actually did business, but went bankrupt. Coupled with some wars and persecutions, they have completely become poor people in the slums after several generations. These ancestors have some relationship with the characters and plots in Shakespeare's play "The Merchant of Venice", but for Tonio, who was born in the late 18th century, the direct connection between them is not great.) His parents once wanted to revitalize the family business. His father originally ran a theater, and he made a living in the theater since he was a child. As a result, his father's drinking, whoring and gambling caused the theater to close down, and his parents divorced. According to his recollection, his father often abused him and used violence when the theater was not closed down, and it was even more serious after his parents divorced. He was so disgusted with this that he ran away from home.

Tonio, who had just entered society, was cynical and helpless. With a specific idea unknown, he began to pretend to be a nobleman. Later, he succeeded in hiding his identity. With his communication skills and excellent music skills, he became friends with a lot of nobles, making it seem like he was indeed a noble. But it was obvious that some people were jealous of him. In addition, his eccentric personality was the type that some people liked and some people didn't like. His own style of doing things was also controversial, so he also made countless enemies. Di Apollo was given to him by those who didn't like him. It seemed to be a compliment, but in fact, it was pronounced similar to "Diavolo"). At the beginning, Tonio's biggest fear was that his poor origin would be revealed. Later, as his fame grew, he gradually felt that it didn't matter and he thought it through.

Martha admired him, he got to know her superficially and found her interesting, so he gave him a few token offers of assistance (at the time, he thought she was just an ordinary violin player and didn't realise her genius, but that was inevitable, after all, everyone else was oblivious to her talent). Martha later discovered a lot of strange things about him, and began to think that he hadn't helped her just to clear himself of the charge that he was a meanie and arrogant and unapproachable. Tonio then thought, "something's wrong with this girl, I really wanted to help you and how come you think that about me, no conscience at all."

Marta tried to understand and empathise with Tonio, but as a noble, there was always a self-imposed divide despite her conscious desire to empathise with others.

Tonio was also forced to disguise his identity at the time, and the thing he feared most at the beginning was that his identity as a poor man of birth would be revealed. Later, as he became more famous he thought it didn't matter, and he thought about it. But as soon as he encountered Marta's kind of so-called empathy he couldn't help but start to think again, "You understand me? Wtf did you understand, do you know how I climbed up the ladder? To put it bluntly it's still your own ego that's moving you."

So, even though Marta really wants to care about him too, just like when the other funded himself to be misunderstood, this concern of her own got misunderstood too.

There is some friction between these two as a result, caused by society's prejudice against women, and the divide between people of different status. But after a long period of friction, they realise that their inner personalities are somewhat similar, both of them defiant, unwilling to accept the status quo, and hopeful for the future. All this status and position aside, they can be very fine, Tonio also gradually recognised that Marta's talent is not the average violinist, and finally intends to sincerely promote her to all the celebrities she knows, but Marta's parents let her stay as a tutor, "Isn't it also good, so that you can do what you want to do (only means play the violin because they only know the surface), make the most of your talent (writing practice pieces) and have a proper occupation."

In the whole family, the younger brother is the only one who really understands Martha, and because he is a male and an author and critic, he was free to gather all kinds of important information and tell Martha about it.

Tonio learnt about Martha and began to think about hiding who she was supposed to be, just like how he himself blended into the upper class at that time. He talked to Marta's brother and together they transformed her, almost her entire identity. They put her under the alias Paula de Solano and revealed only selective information to the outside world, the PR job that was done very well. In addition they help her with the financial side of things as well as the performance arrangements without her family knowing. But it's a double-edged sword, the upside is that she did get what she wanted as a performer, the downside is that she's not herself anymore and anything she says is filtered through, although it wasn't much better before. The final thing is that her genius is known to the world, but her true character is perhaps only known to her brother and Tonio.

The brother loved Martha very much, but the thing about helping Tonio hide Martha's identity was that there was really nothing else he could do, yet he was very eager she wanted to help her sister.

After a few years, in 1812, the family began to introduce to Martha spouses, although she did not like but tried and family introduced a male nobleman talked, but not after a period of time can not stand to break up, the specific reasons she did not say, it is possible that he had an affair. Tonio develops feelings for Martha, but Martha only likes music, which is why she admired him in the first place.

In 1815, the theatre, which Tonio had financed with his friend Giuseppe Giordano, collapsed because of the latter's poor management and suspicious character. After the two completely break off relations, Tonio can only put all his hopes in Martha.

Martha, as the famous performer "Paula", tried to be as honest as possible with the outside world, but gradually became confused by the seemingly irrational reactions from the outside world, which suggested that she might be selectively publicising her statements; in connection with Tonio's unusual attitude, she thought that he might have something to hide. One day Martha found a copy of her brother Marino's manuscript while helping Marino get ready for his wedding, and realised that her brother might be working with Tonio on something, and wanted to tell him that things were not what he thought they were in the hope that he would come to his senses. When Marino came back to his senses, he felt disappointed and angry.

Tonio couldn't help but asked Martha to marry him, but Martha wasn't the small girl she was, and she rejected him and left, much to Tonio's anguish, not realising that it wasn't love that Martha needed in the first place. Marta was also aware what it meant to leave. When Tonio found her brother Marino again, Marino asked Tonio why he was doing that, "Are you helping her as a means of wooing someone?", and the two sides ended up in a fight. Tonio, heartbroken and emotionally exhausted, uttered the words "Paula Solano es morta", and since the saying went viral, the story of the legendary musician came to an end.

But by that time Marino already had a family of his own. They were planning to go across the ocean to America to make Martha a fresh start...

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

Martha lived a long life, lived to the end of the century, and was still active under her real name at the age of 60.

"Paula" is forever young, and her shining moment was frozen in Europe at the beginning of the century.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 32 Wrap-Up: Let's Talk

Hey everyone! Hope you all are doing okay. Now that I am officially on winter break, I feel like I have the energy to write this post. I know it's a bit late, but the season sucked and I needed to think about why I hated it so much. I also am glad that I waited because I listened to Cheryl's most recent podcast episode with Melissa Rycroft and a lightbulb went off. I'm gonna break this up into sections. So let's start.

The Judges

First and foremost, I think the show is going to struggle to see a high level of dancing without Len being there and with the current panel of judges. I don't think the current 3 can inspire the pros to push themselves and their celebs past what they thought they were capable of. No matter how hard CAI tried (because she is trying to pick up that role as she realizes that it is needed), weeks 5 and 6 were kind of the ceiling for everyone except for Charity. What Len was so good at doing was change up his scoring throughout the season to match the level they should be at and lead have his co-judges follow suit. I didn't always agree with him, but I cannot deny that the man forced the couples to give us out of this world dances by the final third of the season. CAI tried but she is not the person for that job. She's not consistent enough and she wasn't able to have Derek and Bruno follow her lead. While she was trying to shift into gears 2 and 3, Derek and Bruno pretty much stayed in gear 1 up until week 8/9. As a result, Xochitl, Alyson, Ariana and even Jason's dances had a sameness about them. The only person that I saw shift into different gears was Charity because all of the judges were very consistent about her feedback and were constantly pushing her to get better (and not just randomly scoring her down like they would do for Jason).

So with that said, I think the guest judges all (except Michael) were much better at judging this season than the main judges. I am not sure why that is. But it was clear that Niecy, Billy, Paula and Mandy all did their homework before they came in. I think they were better because they only came in once and were coming in with the frame of mind of "oh it's week such and such, we probably should be at this point with these dances by now" and they would judge accordingly. So we got some constructive feedback from all of them that I felt was vital for each of the couples to take with them and use to really push themselves to that next level. The problem? When the main judges aren't saying it, how likely are some of these pros to incorporate that feedback into their dances. We say Rylee do it as Billy was the only one that stated that Harry wasn't moving much. Artem did it, but it's because EVERYONE was saying the same thing about Charity. So he could not ignore as much as he wanted to. But the others? Idk. I'm gonna talk more about judging in a later point, but I think a lot of the problems of this season, for me, started with them. If they had made praise harder to receive, I think the quality of the dances would have been so much better.

The Pros and the Partnerships

As many of you know, I was not happy with most of the pairings this season. Many were mismatched. There were some pros that didn't need to be on the season at all. It was very frustrating to watch. And I was trying to figure out why there were so many issues this season with the pros teaching their partners this season as so many problems were either never addressed or never hidden. And it wasn't until the podcast with Cheryl that it dawned on me. I don't think a lot of our current pros are good teachers. Melissa was talking about how Tony figured out how she learned and was able to adapt to that. I think that was the case for the vast majority of the pros in the past. At least the successful ones. Melissa also talked about how she struggled on tour with Artem because he never truly figured out how she learned. Now Artem is a little different, because he's been a pro for almost 15 years (SCD and DWTS). But outside of Koko, Daniella, Emma (though this was not a great season for her), Val and Peta (and Sasha at one point though he's literally been shitting the bed the past few years), the current pros just haven't impressed me with their teaching abilities. Britt and Brandon have legitimate potential but neither one has really been able to truly show it in a season. Britt was getting there with Adrian. Brandon has had four seasons that were cut short and we weren't able to truly see what was to come from his partners. That's it. And that showed this season and is also why so many of the partnerships just did not work out. Tyson had legitimate potential and Jenna, once again, wasted it. Same with Mira. Ariana and Charity should've been killing the competition and probably could have been some of the best dancers we've ever seen. Instead, they were kinda just there. Alyson could've been a way more competent dancer by the end if Sasha just tried even a little more. In my humble opinion, even Xochitl would've been better and had better choreo if Val had seen more competition from people outside of Jason and Daniella. Idk, we just need the pros to be better teachers. I don't think I can sit through another season of celebs having the same major problems in their dancing all season long. It just can't happen. Not when we've seen the likes of Kelly Monaco, Kelly Osbourne, Rob Kardashian, Joanna Krupa and more become legitimately good dancers, the celebs on this season should've been way better. The only true no hoper we had (not including Matt) was Jamie Lynn.

Job Shifts

Remember how I said that I was gonna come back to the judges' table? Yep, well I'm back. We need either a job shift or an addition to the judges' table. If the show wants to stick with three judges, Julianne and Derek need to swap jobs. Julianne is a better judge. Derek is probably a better host. You know all the stuff I was talking about that CAI was struggling with trying to do at the judges' table? Yeah, Julianne can do that and has done it. And she does it quite well. I think Derek would be a lot better at just talking to celebs. If the show is fine with a four person table (the ideal situation), then add Julianne, keep Derek there as well and bring on another cohost for Alfonso to work with. S/o to @forevertrueblue for that idea, as I think it's perfect. I think Kym, Leah Remini, Drew Lachey, Vanessa Lachey, Melissa Rycroft or Maria Menounos could take over that cohost job. Probably more could, but I would need to really think about some of them some more.

Silly Things

The last thing I'll post about is some of the silly things. A 3 hour and 5 person finale was foolish. Don't do that again. Having the show go into December for the first time ever was not a great idea. If we're gonna do 11 weeks, make sure that we start earlier so the show can be done at least before November ends. This also means that they need to have a much clearer plan of the show before week 1. And finally, the judges have been getting extremely lazy. There should be no reason that I can point out several blatant mistakes in a perfect scoring dance.

So that's my season ending wrap/what went wrong post for season 32 of DWTS. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to bring them up. I want to talk about this because I am still trying to figure out why exactly this season was just not it. I'll be posting a few more times over the next two weeks, so make sure to look out for those. And I will talk to you all soon. So glad to be able to put the lid on season 32 lol.

[frary-us]

Platform 7

Published Tue 28 Nov 2023

Interview with Toby Regbo - Matt

So, what can you tell us about Dr. Matthew Goodson?

Matthew is Lisa’s boyfriend, they meet at the hospital, where he works, so there is a slight breaking of the rules in order to get her number. And then we follow their relationship as more and more of her past comes back to her memory as she learns more and more about her life and we see how their relationship unfolds.

One of the conversations that we had with Paula Milne was about her first-hand experience actually of being married to a surgeon and that type of temperament. We talked about the adrenal junkie – Matthew sort of thrives on the adrenaline and things change him all the time. When he talks about A&E, he talks about how he lives that process, that there is always something new. I think that feeds into his personality, he has a passion and a hunger but it is also extremely hard on himself. We see in flashbacks, that his relationship with his mother is not the best, so he thrives on the next thing in order to feel the thrive of surgery, the thrive of saving someone's life, and the chase and the passion in his relationship.

What do we learn of Matthew in the early part of the show? Do we see Matthew before the flashbacks?

Everything is seen through Lisa’s memory. When I talk about my character, really what I'm talking about is what he means to her. All the characters are how they serve her really. So it's difficult to talk about him without talking about her. Even the memories- the way that she remembers them as a ghost, there are memories that aren't infallible so it mutates as she remembers more. Our memories are not infallible.

When you first read the script, what were your thoughts about the show?

I liked it because it's a mixture of genres that we don't sometimes see. It's a ghost story, it's a detective story, it's got elements of Noir. Almost my stuff with Lisa is this sort of a two-hander, almost like ‘Blue Valentine’ type relationship aspect of it and they will blend together. Which I hadn't seen before so it's a new mix match of genres.

What was it like working with Jasmine?

My favourite scenes - plural - have been really working with Jasmine. We've shot this montage or collage of moments of our relationship and a lot of that takes place in her flat and that was the one set build that we had, most of its filmed on location but we had one or two weeks that we filmed just basically us - all of these very intense scenes, our life together over the course of a week or so and that was really great. It's like filmmaking when it's very self-contained there's nothing else to worry about and it was almost like shooting a play just a two-hander. Jasmine's great and so we had a lot of fun shooting those scenes. The back and forth, the love, the passion. It's been great.

Do you have an idea of what the audience might take away or enjoy from this?

I suppose if there was a theme that was slightly metaphysical - moving on and what keeps us stuck? If there are ghosts, what are they really? Is something left behind that can't they move on from until something is resolved? Something is dealt with? I think it's a beautiful story in that respect. Watching somebody do what it takes in order to let go and in order to move on you know. For a lot of the show, she is stuck in a particular place, in a particular time, in a particular memory, unable to move through it and it takes bravery and internal courage to be able to move through and move past it to, and move on.

Interview with Jasmine Jobson - Lisa

Tell us a bit about Lisa...

Without giving away too much, Lisa is a ghost, trapped at a station. She's very strong minded and strong willed and she witnesses a devastating incident that jogs her fractured memory. Along her journey she finds similarities to something that she's experienced herself, which in turn gives her a lot of power, which is very exciting.

When you first read the script, what was your reaction?

There's a lot of flashbacks so I was trying to keep up with the timeline and how things progressed, but the script was phenomenal. There's so much description, it's almost like the book - so I could visualise every scene for every moment because it was so beautifully detailed, Paula smashed it!

Your character is a ghost - as a concept for an actress, what were your thoughts?

My biggest concern about playing a ghost would have been the special effects side of things, - how I'd manage to walk through things, figuring out at what point in the story I'm able to do certain things as it changes as the story goes on. I’ve always been fascinated by special effects and how they film people walking through you, so it’s been a beautiful thing to be a part of.

Sometimes it felt odd, talking and no one saying anything back to you - I had to adapt to being a fly on the wall. Especially being the main character in the show that often doesn't have a lot to say in scenes - I'd say about 60% of the job was facial expressions which is a tough skill to manifest. I was definitely ready for the challenge and think I did pretty well! Being a fly on the

wall was a crazy experience, to have everyone talking about you but no one talking to you and then when Lisa speaks no one responds!

What was your experience of filming at the train station?

Well, filming the show was so much fun, but being in a train station in the middle of winter definitely wasn't fun all the time, I had to constantly act like I didn't feel the cold as a ghost - so I would always try to imagine I was in a hot country like the Dominican Republic! Other than the weather, it was a breeze! I'd come straight off of another job so coming into Platform 7 was a little bit challenging going from one project straight to another but it meant that my performance is all unchecked emotion, it was all round amazing.

Do you have any favourite scenes?

All of the supernatural stuff! It was so fun to play.

What can you tell us about the other characters at the station - there's a whole community... There's a lot going on - outside of my character’s family, there’s Matt - played by Toby who was so great to work with, we had such a laugh. There’s Transport Police Officer Akash and station worker Melissa too and another ghost Edward. He has his own story that viewers will discover too - Phil Davies is a phenomenal actor and a lovely guy, he's like a BFG (big friendly giant!). He's so great, I learnt a lot from him. It was nice to have another character that Lisa can talk to as well so we bounced off each other well too which was lovely.

[moonisneveralone]

I jist watched The White Lotus and here are my thots.

Spoilers obviously and Hot takes maybe. probably gonna change my mind about some of this.

So I started with Season one Yesterday and then got to season two today. OH MY LORD.

I really like it.

Overall I love analysis Relationships especially romantic ones in movies and shows so this gave me a lot to work with.

Rachel and Shane. Honey that shit was sick. Like every intrraction they had was so filled with assumptions. Like they had such different upbrigings but were so sure it was just gonna work out how each of them inagined it. I don't think I have to explain much why Shane is a dick. Pampered and Spoiled mommys boy who looks down on people with less money.

It also sucked that he very much looked down on Rachels work. However from what we can see it wasn't like Rachel was always doing her best work (which is hard when you're constantly fighting poverty) but still. Rachel also married someone who she completely disagrees with. Fundamentaly and on top of that she's deeply insecure about her position in his life. If your answer to "Why did you get married(that fast)" is to say "He's very convincing" and it's not even with a tinge of humour then that shit don't sound right to me. She married a rich asshole, but she did marry him.

Then the Mossbachers? Girl bye. There's a Theme going on there for sure. First of all the succesfull mother and the trophy husband mirrored in the Sister and Brother Dynamic.

I think it meant something here that the thing that brought then close again was a damsel in distress and knight in shining scuba Outfit Situation. I think they needed the hirachy inverrted to let go of their pride. Like all the therapy and expensive gifts didn't do it for them. It took a percieved life or death situation.

And how can I forget Kai and Paula. In my opinion everything about Paula was super performative. She didn't really care for the indigenous Hawaiians or Kai. I think somewhere she was also using Kai to get back at Olivia. She really made up that poetic Justice shit and used Kai's feelings of inadequacy to execute it. And I know she's fucked up enough to do that cause she was willingly hanging out with Olivia even though she thinks she's shitty. She also let Kai take the fall and did nothing to help with the situation, then had the audacity to show up the next day with a book about colonialism. The biggest eyeroll on that. Also she might have made the case harder to win if Kai's brothers ever did try to sue. Kai is a dumbass for even listening to her and entertaining these Ideas that someone else cooked up for him without veryfying if it's possible. Like at least have a phone on you in case something goes wrong. I'm all about Robin Hooding but not from amateurs.

My opinion is this harsh because Kai dissapeared after he ran away and it's because he was discarded narratively yes, but also explicitly by Paula.

Quinn.....ehhh.

Belinda you absolute sweetheart you deserved better, but we knew you weren't gonna get it.

Tanya....she should have helped Belinda instead of starting a thing with a guy she met days ago, because then maybe she could have survived. Listen Greg was suspicious as hell from Minute one and he was only down to fuck. Now you wanna move to where he's staying and get married. She deserved the Macarons rant....not the gay murderplot though.

Season Two my beloved.

I agree season two is less of a murder mystery but it lays out opportunities for crime better. What I mean is in season one there were a lot less possible victims while watching. This season though, there were a couple of storylines that could have ended in murder. That was fun.

I'm not sure I like the we find out who died in the finale type structure though.

It was heavily foreshadowed. Especially in the Opera. Goodness.

Portia.... Miss Maam maybe just maybe deal with your depression? Lockdown knocked all of us out, but just deal with that shit and when your boss makes you stay in your room for the whole vacation then maybe quit your job. She was an interesting succesor to thr people Tanya exploits though. Yes Tanya appears helpless and sad, but she's very selfish and cruel. I'm not suprised her Assistants stole her meds on the way out.

Fuck the Di Grasso guys. They're all the same shitty men just from different times. The fact that Bert couldn't see how he made his wife bitter maybe even to the point it killed her? And Dominic inviting a Sex Worker to stay with him in the room between his father and his son while trying to mend his relationship with his wife who is angry at him for cheating? Gooddamn. Then Albie? Fuck you. His need to prove himself better than his father and grandfather, but still wanting to be the night in shining amour to feel some type of masculine. So much so that he lied to his own mother about his fathers behaviour. Yikes.

Lucia....no notes. Why? This man hat 50.000 lying around he batted an eye, but not because it would hurt him, take his money. Fuck him and his son. Whatever.

I wanna stop writing for now....so i'll talk about the others another time.

[pbandjesse]

I'm really sleepy!! It was a good day but it was a lot. I am excited about having a shorter day tomorrow.

I slept okay. But waking up was really hard. I vaguely remember James saying goodbye to me so I could sleep an extra hour. When I woke up I found that half the stuffing had come out of James's pillow?? Cotton everywhere. So weird.

I fixed that pillow and made the bed and went to get dressed. I felt really pretty today. Felt nice. I grabbed a snack and my bags and headed out.

I stopped for breakfast. And went over to the museum. And it was going to be a full day. I had my hash brown in the car and then went inside. I was excited to see my James.

After seeing James I headed to the back. And got to work making my chases for the day. I had two canneries today. A regular and a small. And I was looking forward to it. Love a cannery.

I was also training Denise and Meril today. So I would check in with them. But then I saw Estelle was there and had to stop to give her a hug. She also brought us candy and cookies because she's the best.

We had a lot of tours today. 6 at s time. So I took it upon myself to write out everything and I only messed up a little!! But it was good. And fun to be yelling with my friends trying to find the best way to make the tours work out.

We were all nervous about the groups being late but it ended up find. The schools had broken up the kids but they got overly excited and started taking them to the rooms without waiting for us and so Mike was afraid we had 44 kids in our cannery but it ended up being fine with 33.

Michael was back after a few weeks away so I was checking on him while also getting my stuff set. And for real they were such wonderful kids. They played along. They were funny. They did such a good job.

The only real issue we had was someone had flipped the switch in the circuit breaker and so the TV wouldn't turn on for the video and we didn't figure it out until at the end of the day. But it was fine. Estelle was able to handle it and it was all fine in the end. She just vamped and talked to them and I was able to take them to the store and it was all good.

Next was a tour. Denise came along and the little group I had was so nice. We did have some issues with the tours running into each other but we made it work. And the kids seemed super engaged and the one chaperone mom was making the best faces and told me how much she enjoyed the tour after. Felt really good.

I had a little break until my small cannery with Jack. Jim and Meril would join us to get some training. And poor Jack was struggling a bit. Throat real dry. And it was a small group of teenagers so it was sort of an easy go but we still had a lot of fun. They were an excellent group and I had fun. And it was fun showing everything to Meril. She's super fun to talk to.

Once we were done and everything was reset me and her went up to the office to clean oysters. And just talk. About our husbands. About museums and coworkers and nonsense. I hope we become friends cause she's very fun.

James would come back and ask if we were about ready to go. And so we flipped the lights and I went to wait at the desk while they finished the paperwork for the day.

Paula checked in with me about running a credit card machine this weekend. So that's perfect. Nice to know what I'll be doing. And then me and James went home.

I was really tried. So James drove us back. We brought my sewing machine in from this weekend. Kept forgetting. And when we got upstairs I got frustrated when I couldn't find the sweatpants I wanted. And tore up our PJ drawer looking for them. No luck. So I just went and took a shower and washed my hair and felt a little better. I had felt kind of horse today. No idea why.

But it made me feel better. I would hang on the couch after I got dressed and put things away. James made me dinner with broccoli and veggie chicken patties and stuffing. And it was a great dinner. I did some knitting. And eventually I went to the studio to keep working on my resin tests. I think I have a better handle on them today. Yesterday's are not great but that's fine. We keep trying.

I would do 4 runs of casting tonight. And cleaning them up. It was fun. And felt nice to really have something to work on. I also did another sticker design. James is going to order the stickers soon. I'm not positive which ones they will pick from what I've made so far. But it's been really fun making options.

I have been chilling in bed with Sweetp for a while now. But I am really really ready to sleep. I am going to go do my skincare and brush my teeth and then it is bed time.

I am happy I have a shorter day tomorrow with a later start. I am going to sleep an extra hour and then after I hope to go to the thrift store. I hope it's a really nice day.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourself!!

[journeydb]

October 31 2023 Barcelona

Happy Halloween! This afternoon we had a community costume party at the community center at our Illa de la Llum apartment complex. People really dressed up, kids and adults alike! There were witches, pirates, Spidermen, clowns, ghosts, pumpkins, and firefighters, as well as many other creative costumes. The committee running the party did a great job decorating and they also laid out an amazing spread of food that people had donated. I couldn't eat a single thing.

The little ones were adorable and some took it more seriously than others. I think these girls are supposed to be black cats, don't you?

Oscar and Michael's girls took their picture with me and I was impressed with their costumes. The twins, Valentina and Paula are preteens now and a lot more serious than they used to be and their "little" sister, Julieta, who is nearly as tall as Valentina, is always trying to keep up with them. Me? I'm just a kid at heart so Little Red Riding Hood seemed perfect for me.

Oh my gosh, the baby angel and toddler Batman were so cute!

I had just enough time to go home and make dinner for Bruce before the Trick or Treaters arrived. First they stopped at our neighbors' door, where the dad, Keko had rigged up a very scary light show. The kids loved it and I actually heard a few kids scream.

The kids were all so excited to Trick-or-Treat in our complex, where we usually have about fifty kids show up at the door. I had mostly small toys and trinkets for them because I don't believe in giving out lots of candy, but I also did have a few dark chocolate mini-bars without too much sugar.

As the night wore on the kids got older, so by the time we ran out of candy and toys, I turned out all the lights and wouldn't answer the door.

As Bruce and I left for the party at our friends Carla and Carlos's place, we stopped at Oscar's. I had bought a woodsman costume for Bruce and he didn't want to wear it so I gave to Oscar earlier in the day. It turned out to be pretty scary with the wolf mask he already had so we staged a photo with The Big Bad Wolf menacing Little Red Riding Hood and it turned out to be rather convincing.

By the time we arrived at Carla's place, everybody had been eating and drinking for a while and the sangria was flowing and the karaoke was loud, but we all had fun with it, even the husbands.

I'm not sure what the "stick your tongue out" move on Branka's part was all about but Mafe (Maria Fernanda) looked happy and Carla's dog looked bored.

Pepi, Fernanda, and Carla got a little carried away with the groping scene and it looked like the color scheme for the costumes was black and red, so I guess I fit in, kind of.

Araceli and Angie fit right in and Javier was dressed to save everyone's Souls, so we were in good company.

The guys usually don't like to dress up and Toni and Bruce were no exception but whoever was under the scary mask, and I think it was Carlos, didn't read the playbook.

Michele's mother, Iria, looked lovely in her Day of the Dead costume. I'm still not sure what Araceli's costume was supposed to be but the thing on her head looked like a spider.

I'm not good at karaoke, especially in Portuguese, but I did my best to sing along with everyone else. Michele was the best and had the sultry voice to be able to pull off the Latin pop and jazz songs.

If there is one mixed drink I like here it's definitely sangria and Carla makes a yummy pitcher with lots of fruit. I might have had a couple of glasses but I felt like it was more. Bruce wasn't complaining.

It was one of, if not the most fun Halloween parties I've been to in a long time but by the witching hour I was ready to call it a night while the rest of them partied on. Even the kids here stay up later than I do!

Yes, there WERE children at this party but none of them sang karaoke, to my knowledge. Iris is a pre-teen now and her devil costume was not appropriate because if there has ever been an angel child, she is it. Julia made a good witch but, apart from a few meltdowns I've heard she has had, she's a really sweet little girl, so that costume was off base. Of course, it's Halloween, so people are supposed to dress up like someone else, especially their alter ego.

I didn't know the other girl, I think she was a friend of Santiago's and I don't even think she was wearing a costume, but Santiago was his usual mischievous self. He seemed to be sans costume also, unless there was some significance to the t-shirt that I missed.

Iris has always been like Julia's big sister. Since their mothers are best friends that makes sense. They are both getting SO tall and they aren't really little kids any more, either. Iris just turned twelve in September and Julia turned nine in July. Iris is taller than I am and Julia will be by the time she turns ten next summer. It always happens that the little ones are taller than I am by the time they are ten!

[musical-chick-13]

Oh, hey it's time for me to be insufferable about my favorite TV show on main again!!

So Rebecca and Paula have genuinely one of the most complicated and touching friendships in any work I have ever seen. They give each other support, hype each other up, and help each other work through their issues without judgment. That's the touching part. The complicated part is that they initially start being friends because they approve of each other's worst impulses and encourage said impulses. And that they are both so wrapped up in how dissatisfied they are with their lives that they don't always act like the best friend.

Which brings us to their Friendship Breakup. Rebecca dropped the ball on writing Paula a recommendation letter for law school because she was too focused on her own personal drama (while making some pretty callous comments about Paula's own personal drama in the meantime), and Paula had realized that their friendship was bringing out parts of her that she didn't like. Which sets the foundation for the Final Straw: Paula goes through a very major life change and doesn't tell Rebecca. Rebecca is upset that she didn't tell her, and Paula is upset that Rebecca hasn't seemed to care about Paula's life in general so she didn't see the point. Rebecca told her that she would have been willing to offer her support if Paula had just asked, but Paula says she's tired of asking and that Rebecca should take the initiative in this friendship sometimes. It's all very complex, both sides have a point, and the fact that they are fighting makes complete, organic sense.

AND THEN!!!!! They sing an 80's Rock Parody Song (heavily inspired by musical icon "Total Eclipse of the Heart") about how sad they are to be apart from each other. And how they want to be friends again SO BAD, but they're both too stubborn to be the first one to apologize. (see video)

And eventually, Paula starts having marital troubles. And Rebecca does take the initiative, and tells her she'll help with housework. She does this by giving Paula an earnest, lovely, genuine platonic declaration of love. It's very much not meant to be read as romantic, but it is given just as much weight and sincerity and importance as a romantic confession. And from this point forward, they switch into a much more equal, stable, functional friendship. The Friendship Breakup allows both of them to grow as people, and also to positively develop their relationship with each other. Their relationship really is the heart of the show (which at it's core is really about all the different ways love can exist apart from romance), and watching the fall-out from their fight is genuinely heartbreaking, while their reconciliation is genuinely moving.

AND ALSO REBECCA TELLS PAULA LATER ON THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE CARETAKER IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP BECAUSE HAVING SOMEONE BE THE BIG SPOON IS GREAT, BUT SAME-SIZE SPOONS FIT TOGETHER THE BEST THIS IS LITERALLY A COMPARISON THAT SHE USES IF YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S THE CUTEST AND SWEETEST THING EVER I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU

Round 1B - Match 9

[timewarpagain]

I am so sick of people trying to lecture others about being involved/interested in this whole mess. "PaRaSoCiaL ReLaTiOnSHiP" this "Entitlement™️" that, "yeah lol I like the Try Guys but I Don't Get why people care so much about-".

First of all, stop feigning ignorance as if the concept of gossip or community is foreign to you, you just come off as a try hard. I highly doubt you've gone your entire life without engaging in some sort of gossip or news that you heard about but didn't directly involve you. Like yeah we get it you're socially enlightened and Not Like Other Fans.

And you're right to an extent that fans aren't "entitled" to know every detail about a person's personal life. But considering the implications of the rumor (before it had been revealed to be true), the people involved, the fallout, and the very messy way the attempted coverup had been handled by the creative team, it's natural that people would be curious about what's going on. Like, you might have a point if this was some rando on the street or some lesser-known celebrity, or even one of the other Try Guys, but that doesn't really apply here. Ned's whole persona/Brand was built around him being a wholesome man in a group of guys who break down toxic masculinity and don't care about any preconceived notions about what it means to be a guy. Ned unabashedly loving and doting on his wife and child[ren] was a huge part of this. So many times in the media you get men who really seem like they don't care for their wives: the "Ball and Chain", "marriage is terrible", "Wife is a Nag", etc. crap, not to mention the amount of men who think that doing the bare minimum of parenting deserves praise or referring to taking care of their own kids as "babysitting".... but Ned wasn't like that. He outwardly cherished Ariel and their kids and never missed an opportunity to talk about them.

Ned cheating broke that sort of trust that he built with the viewers, destroyed the Wholesome Family Man image he projected, screwed over the Guys and their company, and most importantly hurt Ariel and their kids. And you could make the argument that we shouldn't be surprised by this because we didn't know everything about Ned's home life, and that private relationship issues should stay private, and to an extent I agree. However, that doesn't really work here because of multiple reasons.

If you remember the Paula Deen scandal, it's very similar to what happened here (and before you start screeching at me I'm not saying racism and cheating are the same thing). Paula Deen's image was that of a friendly and warm Southern grandmother, but when it was revealed that she'd used racial slurs in the past, it damaged that image and Food Network had to let her go. Ned's persona of being a devoted husband and caring family man is pretty much destroyed, and retroactively sours all the previous videos with or about Ariel and his kids. Second, he made no attempt to try and hide that he was cheating. He was out in public at a Harry Styles concert for fuck's sake. Did he really think no one would recognize him?

You can bitch and complain about "entitled fans" and "HE DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING" or whatever, but that doesn't apply here. They've marketed their family, marriage, and children into videos, podcasts, books, and shows. You can’t make a career based on people’s investment in your relationship and then beg for privacy when you fuck it up. And considering that they also have a Patreon, I think the viewers have a right to know who they're giving their money to so they can make an informed decision about where it goes.

To add onto that, not only did he cheat on Ariel, but he cheated with an EMPLOYEE that he was the supervisor of, which is a legal and ethical nightmare. And his actions affect nearly everyone: Ariel and the kids, Alex's fiance, the company that now has to do some insane damage control and rebranding, lost his job, and destroyed his friendship with Keith, Zack, and Eugene.

Over a fling.

[patrickswhore]

Karl Heisenberg X male reader

A/n: i couldn’t find any gifs of my daddy so I made one 😂 also sorry for not updating for a while, schools been tough but I’m in self isolation so I have plenty of time to write 😂 also light smut towards the end.

I stood at the back of my house, chopping wood for the burner. The snow fell heavy, making the wood crunch as it hit the cold ground.

I could see my breath as I breathed out in exhaustion. This winter was gonna be tough for me and my family. As the only man in my household and newly turned 21, I was just waiting for my sisters to play match makers and find me a young lady... hopefully that would be a while. In my village, being attracted to the same gender isn’t really a thing. So I’ll just have to suck it up, marry and have kids... you know, conform to society.

I walked inside with the lumber, shaking to get the snow off me like a wet dog. I placed it by the fireplace and threw a few blocks on the fire.

I hung my jacket on the coat rack and walked to the living room where my sister was sitting, chatting with a friend and drinking tea.

“Where’ve you been, (Y/N)? Fooling around with a lady?” My sister asked sarcastically, making fun of my lack of luck with women.

“Very funny, Paula” I rolled my eyes and walked into my moms bedroom, knocking softly on the door before entering.

Mother was laying in bed, looking at the ceiling. I knelt by her side, taking her hand. Ever since father passed away she hasn’t been the same, she lays in bed all day, not talking nor eating much.

“How are you feeling, mother?”

“....”

“I haven’t found a job yet.. but I promise I’ll find the money for your medicine, mother.... I promise”

She didn’t answer, she just kept on staring. I sighed and walked out the room, closing the door softly behind me.

“(Y/N), one of the neighbours came with this letter for you when you were out”

My sister handed me a letter, my name on the front in a crude handwriting. I opened the letter, it had a beautiful wax seal, decorated with a horse. The letter read:

Dear (Y/N)

Congratulations on your 21th birthday. You’ve been selected to come work for Karl Heisenberg at the factory on the outskirts of town. You’ve been selected because of your high grades and physical attributes. Please report to the factory as quickly as possible.

Kind regards, Karl Heisenberg.

My heart skipped a beat, Karl Heisenberg was asking me to come work for him. I couldn’t believe it, I rushed to me and my sisters room, quickly putting on some clean clothes and my prayer shoes. I ran into my mothers room, kneeling besides her once again.

“Mother, great news! I’m gonna go work for Lord Heisenberg...”

“.....”

“I love you mother, I’ll be back soon”

I rushed out, giving my sister a peak on the forehead and storming out the front door and into the freezing weather.

I walked up the hill to the metal doors, the factory was up and running, making a hell of a lot of noise. I banged on the heavy doors before it slowly opened on its own, revealing a room filled with scrap metal.

I heard the cracking sound of an intercom before hearing a low voice speaking.

“Ah! (Y/N) great you’re here so quickly. Please make your way to my office, all you have to do is make a left where you are and walk straight. It’s as easy as that, I’ll be waiting”

That must be lord Heisenberg speaking. I straighten up and walked as I had been instructed to. The condors were cramped and dimly lit by red lamps. I felt like the further into the factory I got, the more a putrid smell started to emerge. I finally reached the door, knocking two times.

“Yeah come on in!”

I slowly pushed open the metal door and was pleased that the wretched smell was now being overpowered by the scent of cigar smoke. There he sat, his back turned to me as I slowly shut the door. His hair was long and rugged, and he was toying with a small knife between his fingers.

“It’s great to finally meet you, (Y/N) (L/N). My men has had their eyes on you for a while, but you’re more impressive in person” the man stood up, he was taller then me to start with, but also physically more pumped. I was kinda scrawny, but the winter without my farther had put some meat on my bones.

“It’s an honor to be able to work for you, lord” I bowed my head slightly before looking up and finding him much closer then before. He put a finger under my chin, inspecting my face from different angels.

“My men were right, you surely are a very beautiful man”

My breath hitched in my throat.

“I beg you pardon?”

“Oh don’t play dumb with me, boy... we both know what you are”

“So that’s why you brought me here... not for work”

“Well a special kind of work, if you catch my drift”

“....”

He let go of my chin, moving a step back. I couldn’t deny it, he was extremely hot, but the thought of not being able to sustain my family drove me mad.

“Don’t worry, you’re getting a job at the factory too, and I’ll pay you handsomely for your services.. I know how much your family needs the money”

A stone lifted from my heart. What had I done for mother Miranda to gift me with such fortune? A well paying job and a handsome boss, who could ask for more?

“When do I start?”

“Well, immediately. But first, I have a question” he asked walking closer to me, slowly pushing me against the wall behind us. One hand on the wall besides my head and the other on my waist.

“Do you find me attractive?” His head was inching closer to my neck. His smell was intoxicating, a mix of sweat, cologne and rusty metal. I couldn’t get enough of him.

“Yes, very much”

“Good, because I need you to fix something for me” he grabbed my wrist with the hand from my waist and guided it to his crotch. I cupped his growing bugle as he made a low growling noise, almost like a dog. I started to softly stroke it as he removed his head from my neck, setting his hat on a nearby table before going back to my neck, kissing and biting along the side. I softly grabbed his dick, sending a shockwave through his body. He pulled back, looking at me through his sunglasses, I could slightly see his eyes which were full of lust. He put both his hands on my waist before moving me to the table, turning me around and bending me over it.

“You like that? You dirty man” he huffed, grinding against my ass, a hand on the back of my neck and another under my shirt on the small of my back.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you hear me?” He gave my ass a hard slap, I cried out in pleasure and surprise, gripping the edge of the table.

I could hear his belt buckle being undone as I waited. Suddenly a voice over the loud speakers outside.

“All four lords, report to the castle immediately. Glory be to mother Miranda”

“You have to be fucking kidding me, what does that super sized bitch want now?” He huffed in annoyance buckling his belt again. I stood up, sitting on the table which I had just been bent over.

“I’ll be back very soon” he placed himself between my legs and gave me a passionate kiss, I of course, kissed back.

He put on his hat before storming out the door. I sighed and hung my head. Fuck...

Bonus:

“You’re late, Heisenberg” Alcina snapped as Karl stomped inside.

“I was in the middle of something”

“In the middle of what? You’re such a-“ she stopped dead in her tracks as Karl sat down, completely forgetting about his huge bulge.

“Oh.. I see, you’ve gotten a bit too happy for one of your experiments again”

Karls eyes widened as he swung his jacket over his lap, covering his crotch.

“Shut up bitch, and stop looking at my dick”

“ watch your mouth, child. Moreau, wanna bet on how long this one is gonna last until he kills him?”

Moreau giggled before getting hit in the back with a sheet of metal.

“Not this one, freak!.... this one is different”

“Mhmm, let’s see about that”

“I’ll rip your fucking over sized head off, you stupid bitch!” The hammer flew into Karls hand before Miranda interrupted.

“I’ll fucking show you... he’s the one”

[inner-visionz]

Chapter 3

It's been a month since I've moved into Kong and things have been stagnant. 2D and I avoid each other like the plague. At first if we somehow ended up alone in the same room we'd just give eachother a small sad glance then separate without a word. The only time we hung out was when we were doing demos. We always had fun singing together but we wouldn't dare talk about anything other than small talk.

It made Murdoc and I closer though. We'd hang out in the studio to make changes to the demos or just bullshit around. We'd also hang out in each other's room and talk about our weird spiritual experiences. He started to teach me how to play bass, he was impressed with how quickly I caught on. One night he got so drunk that he spilled his heart about his awful childhood. Murdoc turned into my best friend.

Except he rudely reminded me that he's actually insane by kidnapping our new drummer, Russel Hobbs. FORTUNATELY, for Murdoc he liked the demos and decided to stay. Then he invited Paula to be our guitarist. I wasn't happy about it, but I never questioned it. We did get a demo called Ghost Train done though and it sounded pretty good.

Recently, 2D would come in the kitchen while I cooked and silently stand in the corner to see what I was making. However, I noticed he'd lose his balance more often, slur his words, and would forget things very easily. I started to suspect that he was misusing his pain meds. But I could never get a chance to talk to him about it.

He couldn't be in there longer than 3 minutes without Paula barging in. He'd immediately pretend to look around for whatever random item then leave with her.

I'm sitting at my desk listening to music and sketching as I always do when I have free time. Blue Monday by New Order came on when someone barges through my door and slams it closed. I jump up out of my chair to see a very devastated and pissed off 2D. His cheeks are red from constantly wiping his tear stained face. His eyes were also very puffy. I immediately turn off my radio to listen to whatever is wrong.

"Y/n..she and Murdoc", he can't finish his sentence before his bottom lip starts quivering and he begins sobbing again. I feel so bad for him I've never seen him act like this. But I also feel awkward because I don't know how he likes to be comforted.

I decide to do what I'd want. I carefully pull his hands away from his face and sit him on the bed. I sit beside him and slowly pull his head to my chest so he can refuse if he wants. He doesn't resist to this in fact he almost lunges for it. I lay down with him on top of me as he cries into my chest. He starts to hold me tight so I do the same back.

"It's okay, you can tell me whenever you can", I say reassuringly.

He takes a deep shaky breathe then sniffles. "She..cheated on me with Murdoc", he says with his voice still quivering.

"I'm so sorry 2D". I say softly in his ear.

2d stays silent and just holds me tighter. I take a deep breathe and relax more so I can enjoy his presence again. Before I moved in We'd always give eachother hugs and be platonically touchy, we never did this though. He feels so warm against me. I lay my hand on his head then start to play with his hair as I feel his soft, messy, blue locs go between my finger tips. His breathing starts to slow down so I unintentionally match my breathing with his. The sniffles slowly comes to a stop signaling that he's stopped crying.

He sighs, "I missed you so much y/n", He says breaking the silence.

"I missed you too, I think Sherbert missed you as well", I say trying to lighten the mood a bit.

He gives me a half chuckle, "Really? I think I missed the little bunny too", he sits up and gives me a small smile. I was so focused on consoling 2D that I'd forgotten how touch starved I am. I desperately want to pull him back to me to fill the whole in my chest of not having any type of physical affection in so long. I dont want to get attached to anyone that shows me the slightest bit of it though. So I smile back so he doesn't suspect anything is wrong.

He looks beside me and reaches his hand out to pat Sherbert on the head. I get a big grin on my face from seeing him do that.

"Ah, I missed seeing that grin", he sighs, "I'm sorry I avoided you, but I could tell you were doing the same".

"It's okay I understand", I say.

He frowns and his breathing starts to get faster, "No you dont", he stands up and starts to pace my room, "I avoided you because I was..I", He groans angerly, "She thought I was in love with you, she thought I was cheating or was going to cheat on her FOR YOU! She couldn't see that you're a guy, I'm not gay or bi! I think?", he shakes his head ignoring his own question, "I..I ignored you for her, I ignored my friend for her because I loved her and I wanted her to believe that. Then she does what she didn't want me to do!", he vents angerly with tears in his eyes.

I get up and go over to him and wipe his tears away with my thumbs. "It's okay I forgive you, I avoided you because..I didn't want her to force you to make a choice, I knew you'd pick her and I didn't want to lose my first best friend I made here".

He wipes his eyes to get rid of the last bit of tears and sighs, "Do you want to do something together? I don't care what we do just get me out of this building. We're over due to hangout anyway".

I beam with excitement. "I know the perfect place! You've been so deprived of my weirdness for so long you need a refresher", I say in a joking manner.

He smiles, "I wouldn't want it any other way".

I feel pink dust my cheeks at his comment. "Well go get dressed I'll be here getting ready myself", I tell him.

He nods and leaves my room. I turn my radio back on and go to my closet to scan for outfits. I rummage through all my shirts and settle on a Dracula t shirt, then grab a pair of black jeans with giant wholes in them. I get dressed and put on fishnets under my jeans. I attach two chains, one for each hip, onto my jeans. I grab my black platforms and quickly zip them up. Then I go to my mirror that I had propped up against the wall, it's also decorated with worms on a string, to start teasing up my hair to make it look very messy. I then put on my white foundation (if that's not your skin tone do your normal makeup) with smudged eyeliner. I put in my small vampire fang tooth caps before I put on my dark red lipstick. I put on my black leather trench coat and look at myself in the mirror.

I look creepy and dead, perfect. I grab my coffin backpack and turn off my radio before leaving my room to see if 2D is ready.

I go to his bedroom door and knock. I hear a soft come in so I open the door. I see 2D sitting on the bed in a plain white tee and jeans with black boots. He looks so hurt and lost that he doesn't look up at me.

"Buddy you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb", I say trying to brighten his mood.

He looks up at me and his eyes get wide, "Oh I'M the one that's gonna stick out?"

"Come with me you're getting a gothic make over", I smirk.

He smirks back at me and walks over. "I hope you plan on biting me with those in", he flirts.

"Can't believe I missed the flirting" I roll my eyes as I take him back to my room. We walk in and I tell him to sit on the bed while I get an outfit for him. I skip over to my closet and grab a plain black shirt with a pair of half black and red jeans that are too big on me without a belt.

"Okay get dressed", I say as I throw the clothes beside him. He looks them over and shrugs. I turn around while he changes then when he's done I look him up and down. "Hmm we need to do something with your hair", I say.

"My hair?"

"Yes, go sit in front of the mirror", I command in a light tone. He obliges so I get behind him and start to tease his hair up. I get the hairspray and warn him to close his eyes so I could spray. I glance in the mirror and see him looking at me through the mirror smiling. Once I'm done I stand up and admire my little goth creation.

2D stand up and looks at himself in the mirror, "I look ridiculous", he says bluntly.

"But you don't even have the cherry on top yet!" I exclaim. I grab my black leather jacket with spikes on the shoulders and hand it to him with a big grin. He takes it and puts it on.

"I guess it's a bit better, I still look like a dandy though", he says as he studies himself in the mirror.

"You could've told me no, I know it's not everyone's style", I say.

"It made you happy didn't it? I like that small things make you really happy, your grin is adorable". He says with a soft smile.

"Then you're gonna love where we're going", I smile back at him and grab his hand to lead him out of the room. We go to the living room and see Murdoc tending to his bloody, broken nose on the floor. Russel is sitting in the chair with his elbow on the arm rest supporting his head, with a very cross expression and Paula is sitting anxiously on the couch.

"Ah, y/n mind doing me a fav-", he notices 2D beside me and cuts himself off. "Nevermind".

"Oh I'm not doing shit for you for a while. However, you could earn 3 forgiveness points if you cough up your card and buy us drinks", I smirk.

He sighs and digs into his pocket to pull out his wallet and hand me his card. He tells me the pin then goes back to tending his wounds. "You're lucky I have a bit of a soft spot for you", he mumbles to himself, "Just don't put me in the negatives".

"2D I'm so sorry could you ever forgive me.." I hear Paula plead but her voice drops when she sees us holding hands. I forgot I still had a hold of his hand. Her face turns red and I swear I see her shake a bit. "I fucking knew it!"

I'm about to open my mouth but 2D says something before I do.

"Can we go now y/n?" He asks in an irritated voice. He completely ignores Paula and just keeps his eyes on me. I nod as I shove Murdoc's card in my pocket and lead him out of the building. There's a full moon out which lights our way in the darkness. The chill air hits my face which makes me shudder a little.

I can feel him start to shake so I squeeze his hand and trace circles with my thumbs. After my first time consoling him I learned he responds better to touch.

"You know, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way when you offered some forgiveness to Murdoc" he says.

"I'll be blunt with you, I put more of the blame on Paula but I'm absolutely not saying he's not to blame either. I just look at it as she was the one that let him in. Murdoc is a dick for not respecting a relationship and I'll always defend you on that and I'm not saying I'm not pissed at him myself. BOTH are to blame I just blame her more".

"I'm not exactly seeing your point here and right now I don't care to".

I shrug, "That's okay, I just wanted to explain myself so you wouldn't think that I'm being a cunt", I sigh as I think for a second, "Maybe it was a dick move on my part I'm really sorry".

He rolls his eyes, "You think?" He grumbles.

Okay he's getting cranky so I'll just stop talking for right now. I don't realize that we're still holding hands until I let go of him to grab my cigarettes and lighter from my coat pocket. I light a cigarette and watch the smoke go in all directions. I put everything back then shove my hand in my pocket while my right hand holds the cigarette.

This gives 2D the opportunity to light his own as I hear the flick of his lighter. I don't notice that he's looking at me because I'm too busy admiring how the cemetery looks in the moonlight. I look back to my right and see that 2D has his hand out. I look at it with a puzzled expression.

"Give me your hand back", he says. I switch my cigarette to my other hand and put my hand in his. "Just because I'm in a sour mood doesn't mean I want you to stop", he says as he takes a hit on his cigarette. He stops walking abruptly, making me stumble backwards because he has a hold of my hand. He pulls me closer to him and looks down at me.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, I shouldn't have taken out some of my frustrations on you", he says softly.

"Don't worry about it, I understand besides you can take your frustrations out on his card", I smile.

He smiles, "Right, and what was his one rule again?"

"Oh something about definitely put it in the negatives because I deserve it", I laugh.

He laughs with me as we continue walking into town. We walk in comfortable silence on our way to our destination. We stop at the door and I turn to him.

"Are you ready to have fun, blow some dick bag's money, AND see me be a weirdo?"

"Ah you had me at watching you be a weirdo", he smirks.

"Amazing, what is it you redcoats say? Golly good carry on?" I joke.

He cringes so hard he shudders, "Disgusting, no on the East side we say howay mate let's go splashing out maybe we do a bit of snogging after", he smirks.

"I only understood one word of that but I'll agree", I say as we walk to the door.

"You just agreed to make out with me after we spend all of the money", he chuckles deeply.

My face turns bright red and gets hot but I just roll my eyes as we walk in.

"Welcome to your first goth club".

We're welcomed with loud music and almost everything is black except the red velvet couches in the lounge area and stools at the bar. It's decently busy here with other people dressed in a similar manner as us. It used to be the only place where I didn't feel like an outcast, but now Kong is also on that list.

I bring 2D to the bar and we sit beside each other. I tell the bar tender that I want the most expensive drink that I can't taste the alcohol in and 2D just asks for the most expensive. We get our drinks and I almost immediately drink half of mine because it just tastes like juice.

"Alright let me tell you the routine on how to have fun without throwing up and wanting to die the next morning", I say turning towards him.

He raises an eyebrow, "Routine?"

"Yes it's foolproof. So, we drink all of our first round, then we dance for a bit so we don't drink too much while sitting down or we'll fall on our ass when we stand up, come back to the bar and have another round, after the second round we drink some water then go get food", I explain.

"What if I drink more than what the routine allows me to?"

"Then you won't want to do the best part of the night", I say.

"And what's that?" He asks as he takes a drink.

"Going home to smoke and watch a movie of your choice", I chirp as I suck down the last of my drink.

"I'm not saying that doesn't sound fun but how is that the beat part?" He asks.

I giggle from feeling a bit buzzed. I'm a bit of a light weight and I sucked down the drink pretty fast. "There's no better feeling than having a fun night out, then going home drunk but not TOO drunk and smoke in a very cozy bed with movies. But it'll be even more fun now that I have someone to do it with. You know what I mean?", I grin.

He looks even more confused. "No, no I don't".

"Ah yeah..I forget I don't exactly have the typical type of thinking sometimes", I stand up and begin to feel light on my feet, "That drink was a bit stronger than I thought".

2D laughs quietly, "What? Can't handle your alcohol?" He says finishing his drink.

"Nope, I learned that the hard way, that's why I have the routine", I state.

2d stands up and stretches a bit, "I've got a good buzz going on, but I'm not much of a dancer".

"That's the fun thing about goth clubs, you don't have to be good, you just have to have fun and they'll think you're good!" I exclaim excitedly.

2d smiles at my excitement and follows me to the dance floor. Space and Time by VNV Nation starts to play.

"Just follow my lead, this is one of my favorites". I stand in front of him as the intro starts then once the beat drops I jump from side to side with a big smile on my face. It gets a bit faster which signals me to add my arms, I move them up and down opposite of where I'm jumping. 2D rolls his eyes playfully and starts to copy me.

"Okay here's where things get a bit different", I yell so he can hear me as the lyrics start. I close my eyes with my hand on my chest and move my shoulders side to side as I lean back. I snap back up and slightly shudder like I was hit with a small volt of electricity.

"Gothic dancing is all about the flow, just be a graceful zombie. Shouldn't be too hard for you, yeah?" I smirk. I do more flowy dances and he copies me. I cycle through my flow dances and jumping around.

2D has the biggest smile on his face from dancing and watching me. It almost seems like he forgot why he was sad in the first place.

The song ends and we're both a bit out of breath. "You wanna smoke then do that second round?" I ask, catching my breath.

"Yeah, if you can handle it", he says as we walk outside and hang out by the entrance. We both light a cigarette and start to take hits.

"2D I don't think I've ever thanked you properly for calming me down, words are hard when I'm like that", I say as I stare up at the moon and stars.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I felt like I had to in a way. I did a shit job at keeping Paula from touching Sherbert and I made a promise to you", he says as he takes a long drag.

"I don't blame you for that, but I don't know there was something about what you said and how you just knew that letting me know my bunny wasn't hurt would make me stop seeing red, it felt..really nice", I ramble as the alcohol starts talking.

He smiles, "I'm glad I could help".

We stand in silence as we finish our smoke and put them out. We go back in and sit at the bar to get another round. We order the same thing as last time.

I get through half of my drink before I cut myself off. 2D finishes his and started to get giggly and a little wobbly so I cut him off and got us some water. We both have Two glasses before we leave to get pizza. 2D takes me to a little store that sells huge slices. We make sure that the place is more expensive beings we aren't the ones paying for it. We walk and eat at the same time to a gas station to get snacks for movie night at home. We grab some bags of chips and soda then go to the counter to pay for it. We grab the bags then check to see how much money was left on Murdoc's card. It's at negative one so we cheer a little.

We finally make it home so I hand 2D the snacks to go to his room while I give Murdoc his card and grab the bong. I walk to his bedroom and knock on the door.

"What?" I hear him groan.

"It's me, I came back to give you your card", I reply.

"Come in then", his voice softens. I walk in and see him lying on the bed with ice on his nose. I reach into my pocket and hand him his card. He takes it and sets it beside him on the bed. "How far in the whole am I?"

"Negative one dollar", I grin.

He chuckles lightly, "Yeah I should've saw that coming", he says then awkwardly looks away from me.

I can't help but question it. This isn't like him to be so…quiet and distant. He's the type to be all up in your face no matter the situation. I had a feeling in my chest that he wanted to talk.

"You look like you want to say something so spit it out old man", I say and cross my arms

"Damn you and your stupid witchy shit", he mumbles and sits up as he takes the ice off his nose, "I want to make one thing clear, I don't give a fuck about what other people think of me, I don't care that 2D hates me and I don't regret my actions..", he trails off, "But I SLIGHTLY care about what you think of me, I've taken a liking to you, not in that way but you're the one person I can tolerate for a whole day..and I don't want to lose that", he rolls his eyes, "I feel like a stupid kid that's desperate to be loved and safe and I'll cling to anything that provides that". He pours his heart out then groans in annoyance.

"STOP DOING THAT WITCHY SHIT TO MAKE ME POUR MY DARKEST SECRETS!" He yells at me.

"I'm not doing anything, that's just me I've had strangers vent about their horrible childhoods to me but I'll give you some advice," I put my hand on his head and he glinches at first then look at him, "You are a child that wants to feel loved and safe, I can see right past your bullshit and know you're just a scared little boy that wants to be loved, I don't hate you but I'll make sure your shitty behavior has consequences, so no weed from me for a month", I say. I'm a bit too honest when I drink oops.

He has tears in his eyes and I can't tell if he's going to hit me or sob. "Fuck off y/n".

I smile knowing that's his way of saying 'I love you' right now, "Love you too Murdoc", I say as I pat his head and make my way out of his room. I close the door behind me and begin to get the urge to go back to him and comfort him. But he's not the one that needs it right now, he brought this upon himself and he can sit on it. 2D is the real victim in this situation.

I shrug off the urge and go to my room to change. I take off all my clothes and put away my fangs then get dressed in an oversized pink t-shirt and short shorts with blue striped fuzzy thigh highs. I wipe my makeup off and very quickly wash my hair in the tub. I grab my big fuzzy blanket, Sherbert, and the bong then go to 2D's room.

I walk in and see 2D sitting in front of the TV looking through his DVDs. "It's about time you got here", he looks up from the DVDs and gets a huge smile on his face, "Can't be hard all the time huh?"

I smile then set my blanket on the bed with Sherbert, "Yeah, sorry I was talking to Murdoc then I had to get all the hairspray out", I say as I sit down and take a hit from the bong.

"What did you guys talk about?" He asks in a slightly annoyed voice as he puts in a movie then joins me on his bed.

"Nothing much, he just asked me if I hated him and I basically said no I'm just very disappointed", I say as I pass the bong to him.

He gives a small 'hmm' then takes his hit. We watch the movie and take turns until the bowl is ash. We absolutely destroy the snacks and drinks as we talk and bullshit around.

At some point I curled up in my blanket with Sherbert and fell asleep on his bed.

Sherbert (2d x autistic transboy reader)

Warning: drug use, drug addiction, blood, drug mention. Plz don't read if your under 16/17

Chapter 1

I must be the master of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I just moved here not that long ago and this is the second time I've seen a car crash right in front of me. I just want to see my dealer so I can get a few joints and go home, but I see a blue haired boy fly out of the wind shield and smack his head on the curb with a disturbing thud. I hear glass cracking underneath my boots as I run towards him. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I get to him, I'm not in the medical field but my body just instantly reacted. 

I kneel down by his head while trying to avoid shards of glass to study his injuries. It doesn't take me long to notice that he's the same boy I saw in the first crash when they put him in an ambulance. His face has bruises and cuts in a few spots and blood is flowing from his closed eyes. I hear a soft groan come from him so I put his head in my lap to give him a bit of comfort. I'm sure his head is splitting right now. I can't believe I've watched this man completely eat shit twice. He has his lips slightly parted so I can see that he's missing two front teeth. Poor man has been through hell. 

I gently put my hand on his cheek and rub his face with my thumb. He softly groans then slowly starts to open his eyes. My eyes widen in horror as I see two black voids staring up at me. 

"Wow", he mutters with a small smile.

"Dude, are you okay?" I ask in a panicked voice. 

He winces in pain as he wakes up more and starts to feel the effects of going face first into a curb. "Me head hurts..a lot, but your hands and thighs makes it feel better". 

IS THIS DENSE MOTHER FUCKER TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME AFTER BENG THROWN OUT OF A CAR? 

I roll my eyes. "Maybe I should've just kept walking..anyway let's clean you up a bit yeah? Ya boats a mess". I don't know where the accent or slang came from. All I hear is the accent all day and I do tend to copy unintentionally. I take off my coffin shaped backpack and pull out some wet wipes then start to wipe the blood off his face. 

He tries to chuckle at my horrible accent. "Hey I was being sincere OUCH". He flinches in pain. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to", I apologize. I finish up wiping his face and my hand that I had cupped on his cheek. "Can you stand up? You need to go to the hospital". 

He relaxes a bit and slowly nods. The black eyed man tries to find his feet and stands up slowly. I put everything back in my bag and put it on my back. I stand up and look over him again. I realize I come up to his forehead in my platform boots but without them I'd probably come up to his chin. He stumbles a bit so I hold onto him as support. 

"YOU TWO ARE PERFECT!" I hear an excited and raspy voice call out to us. I look in the direction it came from and see an excited green man jump out of the wrecked car. I immediately take notice of his messed up nose and the upside down cross necklace that bounces around his neck as he comes towards us. I recognize him as the other person involved in the first crash. "Two tall and edgy people as my lead singers? Not to mention a black eyed God, the girls are gonna go crazy for him, ah your name should be 2D because you've got two dents in your head, much better than Stuart". He continues to ramble. 

The busted up man starts to stumble more against me so I sit him back down and turn my attention towards the other one. "You fucking idiot, you put this man through two serious car accidents and look at his face! What the hell are you going on about a band? He needs to see a doctor!". 

He scoffs, "Oh he's fine, look at him!" He motions towards Stuart who's wobbling even though he's sitting down cradling his head in his hands. 

I grab the man by his shirt collar and pull him to me. "Listen here you blithering cunt, you're taking him to the hospital NOW!" I yell. 

"Oi are you single by chance?" He gives me a gross chuckle, but I ignore his question. 

"NOW!"

He holds his hands up to surrender. "Fine, fine! Whatever you say". He rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone to call an ambulance. I let him go and let out an angry sigh as I walk over to Stuart. 

I kneel down in front of him and place my hand on his knee. "Hey we have an ambulance coming for you soon okay?" I say gently. 

He looks up at me with pain written all over his face. "Are..you coming with me?" He asks rather pathetically. In fact it's so pathetic I can't say no.

"Yeah, I'll come with you, my name is y/n by the way". 

"Mine is Stuart, but 2D sounds really cool too". 

—-------

At the hospital I found out the green man's name is Murdoc. He kept trying to convince me to join his band but I always protested. 

"Come on lass! Who doesn't want to be in a band?" He pleads.

"I'm not a lass", I inform him and cross my arms. 

Murdoc eyes me up and down with a questioning look, but he lets it go. "Whatever, who am I to judge, but that wasn't a no". 

I sigh in defeat. "Look I'll think about it, will that get you off my ass?" 

Murdoc beams with happiness. "I'll take it!" 

I scoff and go in to check on Stuart. The doctor said he looks okay but they wanted to keep him a bit longer to be sure. They said his eyes will stay that way forever and they gave him some pain meds for his head. Upon entering the room I notice a girl sitting beside him with choppy dark brown hair, thin eyebrows, and red lipstick on. I must have missed her when I was bickering with Murdoc. She notices me and gives me a 'what the hell are you doing here' look. I immediately know from this look that she's the girlfriend. Whatever, I'm not exactly interested in dating at the moment. 

I walk over to stand beside Stuart's bed.  "You feeling any better now?" I ask. 

"Yeah they gave me some painkillers so I'm feeling great now", he smiles at me. "Oh! Paula this is y/n she's the one that helped take care of me when we crashed". 

"He. I'm a boy", I say bluntly as I wait anxiously for their reaction. 

"Oh, you don't look like a-"

"I'm trans let's move on", I cut him off. 

He scratches his head in confusion. "Right, uh he's the one that took care of me". I'm pleasantly surprised at his quick fix to my pronouns. Both of the boys had a better reaction than I expected. They both get an extra 20 points for not being bigots in my book. 

Paula rolls her eyes. "Well whatever you call yourself, I'm his girlfriend so you can leave him to me now". 

I frown a bit in confusion at the sudden rudeness, but I'm not about to argue so I just step out and join Murdoc in the waiting room. He's the last person I want company with but I want to stick around until Stuart gets discharged. Although his girlfriend is here so I guess I could just leave him to grab my stuff and go home. I mentally sigh remembering that he asked me to come with him so no I can't just leave, but I could step out and come back. 

"Hey, I'm gonna step out for a bit. Can I see your phone so I can give you my number?" I ask Murdoc. 

"Of course I'd love to have your number", he winks at me then hands me his phone. I take his phone and put in my number then set my name as 'y/n (back up singer). I send myself a text so I'd have his number then toss his phone back. 

"Text me updates on Stuart and if he asks for me tell him I'll be back", I say as I turn my back to leave. 

"Hey wait does this mean you're in?!" He asks when he takes notice of my name in his phone. 

"Maybe" I say on my way out the door. 

—-----

I make it back to the hospital an hour and a half later after visiting my dealer. I always shove my joints or bag in a zipper pocket I made on the inside of my boots. It's a decent hiding place. 

I waltz back to the waiting room and sit beside Murdoc. "Hey, 'ow's Stuart doing?" Damn the accent came out again. Murdoc looks at me funny then gets really close to my face. Crap he knows and I can't keep a straight face when I'm buzzed. He stares intensely at me which makes me give a big goofy grin. 

He smirks. "Oh you're completely mullered aren't you?" He whispers. 

"Not completely just wee bit buzzed". 

"At least you know how to party, also your accent was terrible". He chuckles. 

"I know..it happens unintentionally, I swear I don't mean to". I ramble. 

Murdoc laughs and ruffles up my hair. "Don't get your knickers in a twist luv, it's alright". I flinch at his touch and move his hand off my head before I got used to the feeling. "Oh? Not a touchy person?" 

"No I am, it's just I'm not used to getting physical affection anymore". I look at the ground awkwardly. "Anyway, is Paula still here? I'd like to check on Stuart". 

"No, she left a bit before you came back", He answers. I nod then walk to Stuart's. I lean against the door frame as I watch him hold a hand held mirror to inspect his new facial features.

"Yeah, they're a bit off putting aren't they?" I state. 

He jumps so bad he almost drops the mirror then snaps his head towards me. "Oh, it's you," he chuckles nervously, "I think they're cool looking, and sorry about Paula earlier". 

I shrug. "It's fine, I don't care that much. She was probably just stressed because her boyfriend is in the hospital, I'd be snappy too", I reassure him with a smile. 

He smiles back at me slightly showing off his two missing teeth. It was cute in a dorky way. "Yeah probably, so Murdoc told me he convinced you to join the band?" 

"He was very convincing when it's all he'd talk about for an hour straight, besides I guess it could be fun". 

—------

About an hour later Stuart got discharged and I invited them to my flat because it wasn't far from the hospital. Stuart looked exhausted and I didn't trust that Murdoc would have a decent place for him to sleep. 

I bring them both inside then show Stuart to my bedroom. I flick on my black light to illuminate my room so Stuart could see where he's walking. My posters and my neon worm on a string wall decorations light up immediately, giving more color to the room. He takes notice of my bed half full of stuffed animals. 

"Never thought you'd have so many cute things based on how dark you dress". He states. 

"Can't be a hard ass all the time", I say as I go over to the bed and move an old, but well taken care of, light multicolored bunny stuffy from the empty side of the bed. I put it on the other side with the rest of the stuffies while making sure it was in a comfortable position. Stuart sits on the other side of the bed once the bunny is moved. I see him give me a gentle smile from the corner of my eye. He reaches out to touch it but I stop him. 

"Please don't touch him", I mumble. 

"I wasn't gonna move..him..I just wanted to see how it felt"

"I get it but please don't, look I'm autistic and that's my comfort item which means nobody is allowed to touch it", I say. 

He gives me a very confused look. "Man you got a shit pick of the draw didn't you? With you being trans and autistic I'd imagine you don't have too many friends". 

My face drops and I look away from him as I awkwardly rub my arm. 

He notices my changed mood and quickly tries to explain himself. "Oh no I just meant that people around here can be dicks. I'm sorry. Um hey my hair grows out blue and now I have no eyeballs or two front teeth so I guess I also got the shit pick so maybe we could be friends?" He rambles. 

I chuckle at his awkward attempt at making me feel better. "Yeah I'd like to be friends...you can feel his ear if you want to". 

"Are you sure?" 

I nod. "You didn't bat an eye when I said I was trans or autistic and you listened when I said dont touch him, so I think I can trust you". 

He smiles then gently puts a long floppy ear between his fingers and rubs the fabric. "He's very soft. I can see why he's comforting, does he have a name?" He asks. The fact that he calls the bunny 'he' and not 'it' makes me a bit more fond of him.

"Sherbert", I mumble a bit embarrassed. 

Stuart chuckles, "That's cute, so you mentioned that I listened to you and that's why you trust me, did other people not listen?" 

"Yeah, I've had three people over and they all purposely picked him up and moved him or pushed him on the floor. They wanted to get a reaction out of me and well they did but it wasn't what they wanted. I busted their faces then dragged them out of my flat, THEN I cried". 

He half smiles at me,"I promise I'd never be mean to Sherbert", he says softly like he's trying to comfort me. 

"Stuart I can't tell if you're being genuine or if you're secretly making fun of me" I say bluntly. 

"I don't want to break your trust luv, it's genuine and if I break that promise you can make me eat a curb again". 

I can't help but laugh. "I'll hold you to it, well I should let you get some sleep, I'll turn off the light so it doesn’t mess with your head". 

He takes one last look around and smiles warmly. "Yeah, thank you for everything today," 

"No problem, goodnight Stuart", I turn off the light and close the door behind me. I go to the living room and find Murdoc examining all of my bat and coffin decor. I take off my boots and get the joints out then I stand on the arm of my couch so I can reach the top of my bookshelf. 

"Ah so you dabble a bit too huh?" I turn my head to see Murdoc talking about my altar that has crystals, candles, a couple crystal pendulums, my tarot deck and a Loki statue. 

"Oh yeah I do some witchcraft", I say as I grab my little metal tin and put all of the joints but one in then put it back. I take off my backpack to grab my red Nokia and cigarettes then place them with the joint on the bay window. 

"Who's the statue of?" He asks. 

"That's Loki he's the god I work with slash worship", I inform him as I open up the side window and sit on the bay window. I light a cigarette and blow the smoke out. "Speaking of which, can you light his candle for me? It's the red one right in front of the statue, there's a lighter right beside it too". 

Murdoc scans my altar real quick before he finds the lighter and tries to light it. He tries to light it a few times but all that comes out is sparks. 

He starts to get frustrated, "Oi I think your lighter is dead". He says. 

I take a drag of my cigarette and shake my head as I go to him. "No that's not the problem," I put the cigarette in my mouth then take the lighter from Murdoc and light it with ease. I light the candle then smirk. "I'm so sorry I dared have someone else light your candle you fussy thing". I watch the flame get bigger and wiggle around then smile. 

"Let me see that lighter again".

I hand it to him and he lights it on the first try. "This is shit".

I chuckle and go back to where I was sitting. "He didn't want you to light his candle, I bought that lighter yesterday so I knew what the issue was", I say as I grab my phone and add Murdoc to my contacts. 

He rolls his eyes. "I guess he is a fussy thing", he mumbles then comes to me and pulls out his own pack of cigarettes, "Care if I join you?". 

I shake my head as I take a drag. "Open the other corner window and take a seat, blow your smoke out the window though. I don't want my place smelling like smoke".  

He nods and opens the window then takes a seat opposite of me. He puts a cigarette in his mouth and tries to light it but his lighter won't light. "You gotta be fucking me UGH". 

I laugh. "I guess Loki didn't like it when you called him fussy". 

"YOU called him fussy!" 

"I'm allowed to, that's how we joke", I chuckle. "Here use mine". I slide my lighter to him.

"Thanks", he says in an aggravated tone and finally lights his cigarette. "You better not make freaky shit happen when I get the band all put together", he slides my lighter back to me and takes a hit. 

"Don't fuck with me and it shouldn't be a problem", I chuckle. 

"Right", he says. 

We sit there in silence as we finish our cigarettes. 

"I was going to offer you a smoke with me after I got done smoking but I'm tired", I say as I put my cigarette out in the ashtray. 

Murdoc does the same. "Yeah I'm pretty tired myself. I'm gonna grab 2D and we'll be out", he says as he stands up and closes the window. 

"He's okay you can leave him", I say as I close mine then put away the joint I left out with the others. 

"Are you sure you're comfortable with that?"

"Yeah I trust him". 

"But you don't trust me to spend the night?" Murdoc asks.

I narrow my eyebrows at him. "I want you to look at Stuart's non-existent eyes and ask me that again". 

He scoffs. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this". He says as he makes his way out the door. 

I sigh in relief to finally have some alone time. However, I decide to enjoy it by falling asleep on the couch.