#but also this is a children's cartoon sir it's not that deep

[thethiefandtheairbender]

"you're depicting my favourite character in an ooc way" and what're you gonna do, arrest me?

[spam-monster]

I’ve had some Very Important Shower Thoughts I needed to add:

For setting, this is most likely Some Kind Of Afterlife, not limited to literary authors, and I am imagining this is all playing out in the background of a scene where the Main Character is being introduced to the setting by a Guide, who is rambling like everything behind them is Perfectly Normal.

[[ Scene One:]]

[A man in a smart gray suit with a mustache is at a table with a man in a sweater with long messy hair. They are having a deep discussion about the nature of art and creation balanced with the need to earn money to keep being able to produce, and seeing your legacy distorted by soulless corporations, and how much of that you’re really able to control. 

At a shorter table next to them sits a cartoon mouse and a strangely felt-y frog discussing their nephews’ recent interest in these new “mascot horror games”. Other animated and felted creatures are wandering around the area chatting.]

 [Behind them, a man in a long tan houndstooth coat and a matching flappy hat runs past cackling, chased by a very angry British man wielding a folding chair. Another British man with a bowler hat and mustache follows them trying to defuse the situation, but has to pause for breath, winded and exasperated. The mouse and the frog look at him sympathetically, and the frog offers him some tea. The bowler-hat man glances off at the other two British men, still causing a ruckus, before signing and accepting the cup of tea, settling awkwardly next to the frog and mouse.] 

 [At this point the Main Character is dragged off somewhere else by the Guide.]

---

[[Scene Two:]]

[The Main Character and Guide return to the area, where the impromptu tea party has been joined by a young girl in a blue dress, another British man scribbling down nonsensical rhymes, and some kind of floating cat that seems to fade in and out of existence.]  

[Slightly further back, two men are having a very heated argument. Settled around them are: a lion, some children, a Wizard, several men of varying sizes and ear length, and some more children whom on closer inspection turn out to be very short men with fuzzy feet. They are variously snacking, commentating the match, and taking bets. Next to them are an assortment of very dandily dressed men, flamboyantly chatting away (and flirting) while also watching the argument.] 

[The man in the long coat and his pursuer run by again, a bit more exhausted this time because they clearly haven’t paused since the last time we saw them. One of the dandy men decides he’s had enough and stands up, blocking their path.]

Dandy Man: “Alright, that’s quite enough out of you two for one day! Sir Arthur, darling, will you settle down already. I’ve invited Harry over later to put on a show for Charles’s orphan boys, and I won’t have you causing a fuss!”

[The two of them reluctantly stop. The one man let’s himself be dragged off by his chatty friend, while the tan-coated man wanders over to his friend at the frog’s table. He playfully chides his friend for “indulging in nonsense”, while bowler-hat man fires back with a comment of “you two are the bigger nonsense” while dragging his friend over for tea. The floating cat steals the tan-coat man’s hat at some point, but he lets them get away with it.]

[There’s probably a cut to an Important Subplot at this point.]

---

Was just thinking about a story where famous authors from throughout history got to meet their greatest creations and how it would go:

Most authors: "How fantastic! My own creation come to life! A fragmented reflection of my own mind and thoughts that has been released into the world and evolved again and again with every reader's interpretation of them! Come, sit down, let us discuss!"

Meanwhile Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: "...THIS BITCH"

Sherlock Holmes, smirking, fully aware his creator despises him and ready to lord it over him as much as possible: "...Daddy."

Watson, watching from a safe distance, knowing this is inevitably going to end with a fed-up Sir Doyle dragging him off for tea, where he'll have to endure his creator ranting about Holmes the entire time: *heavy sigh*

[evanoracronwell]

Life as he knew it

Chapter 3 - We're gonna be okay.

Buddie♥

"Baby girl, this is your new family. Everyone, meet my daughter."

Also on ao3 (3/?)

If you had asked Evan Buckley 24 hours ago if he had imagined his life would be like this, he would have laughed in your face and called you crazy.

However, here he was, marveling at how his apartment - his bachelor apartment - had become a place completely ready to receive a child.

Explaining everything to those he considered his family had been far more chaotic than Buck had imagined it would be.. Karen, Carla, and Maddie apparently knew all the curses in the dictionary, and they had no problem saying them all. Hen and Chim were silent for a few seconds - probably imagining that it was all a joke - and then joined Maddie and Karen.

Athena and Bobby acted exactly as Buck would have imagined. Surprised, and then congratulating him on the news, saving any further comments for later.

And then there was Eddie. Eddie said nothing. For a few seconds - infinite seconds, if you asked Buck - he just said nothing. And then he raised his hand in a gesture for everyone to shut up and looked at Buck, with those serene brown eyes, as if inside he was no longer furious and more agitated than a storm.

"What do you need, Buck? How can we help?"

"I need to buy everything I’ll need for my daughter. Make this place safe for a child, find a lawyer to analyze these documents and the others that I’ll be getting. Damn, I need to choose a name, because that woman wasn’t able to do even that..”

And that was how Maddie, Carla, and Karen went out shopping like three women on a mission.

"Here's my credit card, Maddie..." "How much can we spend ?!" "As much as necessary, everything my daughter will need, Maddie. Don't worry about money." "This credit card is from that account that..." "Yes” - he interrupted his sister in a low voice so that no one could hear them -” so don't worry about spending. Whatever she needs; I mean it"

Hen and Chim volunteered immediately to go shopping for everything needed to make the apartment baby-proof. And well, who’s better than two paramedics to guarantee it was done properly? 

Athena took the folder with the documents from Buck's hand, assuring him that she knew a child custody lawyer and would personally take those papers for him to review. Before Buck could even say anything, she had already walked out the door.

With that, only Eddie and Bobby remained.

Bobby, who went straight to the stove and started making something for Buck to eat, because he knew perfectly well that the men wouldn't have eaten yet and...

"You need to take care of yourself, kid, now more than ever."

And Eddie, who just put his hand on Buck's shoulder like he had when he had brought Chris after the tsunami, smiled as comfortably as possible, saying everything Buck needed to hear, without even saying a word.

"I'm here, Buck." "I have your back."

And now he was here, hours later with his apartment completely clean and safe for a baby. A crib installed next to his bed upstairs and a dresser full of baby clothes, everything needed to help with changing diapers, and a comfortable changing mat on top of the furniture. One side of his wardrobe had been completely emptied and now it contained diapers, more clothes (really, how many clothes did a baby need ?) And several other things that apparently a baby needed and that Buck hadn’t even known existed. His kitchen was like that too, cupboards full with baby cups, bottles, pacifiers, formula...

Because Buck was going to have a baby living with him in less than 24 hours. A baby... fuck.

"I still can't believe that I’m an aunt now! She is so beautiful Evan, just like you when you were a baby." Maddie sounded like she was three seconds away from bursting into tears

"Except for her hair; she has a shade of red that she got from her mother, mixed in with all that blondness."

"That woman is no mother."

"I know that, Karen. But what about my daughter? What am I going to tell her when she's old enough to ask?"

"The truth, Buck, you tell the truth. It will hurt like hell, but you need to be honest with her." Hen reached out to hold his hand for a few seconds.

"What matters now is that this little girl has you, Buck." Chimney smiled at his brother-in-law.”And she couldn't have wished for a better father."

"Damn, right. And when will the newest member of our clan join us?" Athena said in a happy and energetic tone, trying to change the mood of the conversation.

"The nurse said tomorrow; I need to prepare some documents that they need for the birth certificate."

"And a name"

"Yes, Maddie, and a name... I need to think of something."

"You’ll l find a perfect one for her, kid. I'm sure."

"Thanks, Bobby. I just... how am I going to do this? How am I going to be the father of a little girl? I have no idea what to do. I don't know how to take care of a child."

"Of course you know, Buck, you took care of Chris more times than I can count. You’re a natural. I don't know any child who doesn't gravitate towards you completely in adoration."

"This is different, Eddie; yes I am fun and great for spending a day with, playing with them and everything... but what about the rest ?!"

"Buck, dear, you’re being too hard on yourself."

"No, Athena, I'm being realistic. It's different."

"Okay, last week Chris had that stomach bug. He spent the whole night throwing up, tearful and angry. You knew I took an extra shift that night and offered to stay with him. Buck, you sat all night on the floor of his room, cleaned every time he vomited, bathed him and made him eat the soup that Pepa left for him, gave him the medicine at the right time, took care of him, and gave him all the attention and love he needed. You know exactly what to do Buck; you always knew.”

"Yes, but..."

"When Danny got that flu? You showed up at our house without us calling you. You took a plush of some cartoon that he liked at the time and a full meal for all of us because you knew we were going to be taking care of him and completely forgetting about ourselves, and then you spent hours with him watching all the cartoons he wanted just so that Karen and I could eat and get some rest. Eddie is right, Buck, if there is one person in this world who is prepared to become a father, it’s you.”

"Thanks, guys. I just... I don't know; I'm terrified."

"And it's okay to be scared, kid."

"But that's why you have us, Buckaroo, we’re here for everything you need."

"I know, Carla, which reminds me, I need to ask you if you know someone to refer me to as a nanny. Bobby got two weeks off from 118, but I'm going to need someone to look after her when I get back."

"Boy, you didn't just ask me that. Do you really think I'm going to refer someone else to you to take care of our little princess? Oh, no sir, I'll take care of that beauty myself."

"What? No, Carla, you already take care of Chris and..."

"We already talked." Eddie smiled.”Carla said that she can take care of them, no problem. And besides, Christopher is going to love helping."

"Oh, he's going to go all big brother with her."

"You bet!"

"Just take a deep breath, kid; you'll be just great, you'll see. And at the end of the day, you still have all of us ! We're all here to help you."

"Bobby is right, Evan. You’re going to be a great dad."

"Yeah...we're gonna be okay."

 Sometime later, when he was alone in his apartment, Buck ran to the bathroom to shower and get ready, looking forward to going back to the hospital and seeing his daughter again. He couldn't wait to bring her home with him the next morning. Having her in his arms again made Buck's heart grow two sizes, and if he cried with excitement when the nurse let him feed his daughter for the first time, well... who could blame him?

Leaving a hospital with his daughter in his arms was definitely not something Buck had imagined doing so soon in his life. But as he drove through the streets of Los Angeles with the adorable little girl, making all the cutest sounds while lying in the baby car seat, Buck was sure that if he could go back he would have done everything exactly the same.

Yes, he would still have gone to that bar days after removing the cast from his leg, determined not to stay home feeling sorry for himself after Ali had left. Yes, he would still have accepted Taylor Kelly's company even if he couldn't drink himself. Yes, he would still have had sex with her in the bathroom - again - in that bar.

Because all of that had taken him to this moment, driving to his apartment with his daughter in the backseat. Just the two of them, because...

"Yes, Maddie, I want to pick her up alone."

"Yes, Karen, you can wait for us here in my apartment to meet her. All of you can."

"I already chose a name, but no Eddie, I'm not going to tell you!"

So when he opened the door he found all his friends there just like the day before, with the addition of Michael, May and all of the other children. There were balloons all over the first floor and a banner hanging from the window welcoming "Baby Buckley". There was a huge cake on the counter, with an image of a stork. Everyone was waiting with a huge smile to meet his daughter.

Because Buck was not alone. He had his family there beside him to help him every step of the way.

"Oh my God, Buckaroo, she is so beautiful. That photo did not do justice to how gorgeous she is." Athena approached as soon as Buck entered the apartment.

"My niece is the most beautiful baby in the world."

Maddie stayed close to Athena so she could see her better, both with huge smiles and tears in their eyes.

"Baby girl, this is your new family. Everyone, meet my daughter." Buck smiled, raising his arm a little so that everyone could see the baby, whose eyes were wide and curious.”This is Isabella!"

Nobody in that apartment could resist falling completely in love with the new member of the 118 family. Everyone approached to see her better and praised how beautiful she was while Buck sat on the couch to be more comfortable and hold her better in his arms.

"Oh Buck, she really looks just like you."

"Look at this birthmark; so tiny!"

"She is so adorable, she makes me want to bite those cheeks."

"Oh my God, mom, are you and Bobby crying ?!"

May exclaimed so loudly that everyone turned to see Athena and Bobby, who really had tears in their eyes.

"Give me a break, May, this is our first granddaughter." Athena waved her hand in the air, returning to focus exclusively on the baby while Bobby was beside her,  nodding in agreement with his wife.

If Buck stopped breathing for a few seconds, no one seemed to notice; Athena had just called his daughter her granddaughter. His daughter. Granddaughter to Athena and Bobby. Of course, he had always seen Bobby as a father figure and consequently Athena as a mother figure, but knowing that the feeling was reciprocal really caught the fireman off guard.

The sound of crutches against the floor was enough to wake Buck out of his thoughts and make him smile as he saw Christopher approach, with Eddie beside him. Bobby and Athena smiled between them and then walked away leaving the three alone and went to the kitchen where everyone was preparing food for lunch.

"Chris has something he wanted to give to our new baby girl. Isn't that right, buddy?"

"Really, buddy? What do you have there?" Buck asked as he laid his daughter down in the baby nest bed beside him on the sofa.

"It's a gift for Isabella!"

With that beautiful smile that Chris always had, the boy handed the gift to Buck, who smiled even more as he took the package in his hands and opened it eagerly with both Eddie and Christopher’s eyes on him. Inside was the cutest little thing Buck had ever seen; it was a baby cow plush with little arms, and then in place of the body it was a shaggy, warm piece of fabric. Buck had no idea what it was, but he already loved it.

"It's a blankie or a security blanket. Chris had several of these when he was a baby, and it always made him sleep better." Eddie explained knowing that his friend didn't know what the gift was.

"This one was my favorite."

"Is this yours, buddy?"Buck asked, looking at Christopher with a puzzled expression, and when the boy nodded, stating that the plush was, in fact, his, Buck felt his eyes sting with tears. He looked at Eddie, who just smiled at his friend without saying anything.

"This is really nice of you, Chris; are you sure you want to give Bella your favorite blankie?"

"He protected me from monsters, Bucky, now he's going to protect Bella too. He was my best friend! Until you showed up."

"Oh buddy, you are my best friend too, did you know that ?! And I'm sure he will protect Bella just as he protected you."

"Do you think she'll like Moowie ?!”

“Moowie? You named him Moowie? Moowie the cow?”

“Yes, that's his name. Moowie. Do you think she'll like him?”

"Yes, I'm sure she will." He took the blankie to the baby, placing it right next to her. She looked at the plush with curiosity, then made a noise, apparently enthusiastic about the new toy.”See?! She loved her gift, buddy. I promise I will always keep it with her when she goes to sleep."

"To keep the monsters away!"

"Yes, buddy, to keep the monsters away."

Later, Christopher was sitting beside him on the sofa holding his daughter in his arms, with the biggest and most beautiful smile that Buck had ever seen on the boy's lips. Eddie was kneeling on the floor facing them, helping Chris to hold the baby while he played with Bella at the same time. All of his friends were around him, talking and laughing, like a big family.

Yes, Buck did not doubt that everything would be fine.

.

[theparanormalperiodical]

The REAL Story Behind The Crooked Man And The 7 Other Fairy Tales & Nursery Rhymes With *Even More* Disturbing Backstories

It was 4 years ago that we first met the Crooked Man.

With a *sickening* reveal via rottweiler fit for the latest season of Rupaul’s Drag Race, the suited gentleman staggered his way from The Conjuring 2 (2016) into our nightmares.

But his ashy undertones, gnashing teeth, and general aura of “I’m a demon, or something, which means I have no real motive apart from wanting to kill you” isn’t the only thing that fits the film far too well.

The Conjuring universe is the definition of ‘based on a true story’. And the Crooked Man fits the brief.

In the opening scenes of the film we see lovable and bulliable Billy stutter through a nursery rhyme:

There was a crooked man, and he went a crooked mile, He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile; He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse, And they all liv'd together in a little crooked house.

Accompanied by a totally-cursed-i-mean-just-look-at-it zoetrope (it’s a bit like a mini projector that shows you a moving cartoon), Billy introduces us to one of the handful of extra entities terrorising London’s most haunted house. You can discover more about the true story of 284 Green Street which inspired The Conjuring 2 here. 

But Billy also introduces us to a real nursery rhyme inherent in British culture - and British history.

Yes, the nursery rhyme, like many, is based on dark and twisted reality softened for a bedtime story. And amongst this history was a real person. Unfortunately, the Crooked Man is not the only fairy tale monster or nursery rhyme entity that will be haunting your dreams.

Are y’all tucked in?

The Crooked Man

The nursery rhyme was first told sometime in the 17th century during the reign of King Charles I. But the Crooked Man was not the Stuart King - it was allegedly inspired by Scottish general Sir Alexander Leslie and the covenant he signed.

The covenant secured religious and political freedom for Scotland despite prevailing animosity between the English and the Scottish.

The crooked stile is the awkward alliance between the two parliaments and the crooked house refers to the collective union the Scottish and English lived together in. But the ‘crooked’ part works on another level, too.

The great recoinage of late 17th century meant sixpences - which feature in the rhyme - were made of very thin silver and thus easy to bend.

An alternative origins story links it back to Lavenham, a village in Suffolk (England). The half-timbered houses leaned at off angles as if supporting each other, creating a crooked aesthetic that matches the nursery rhyme.

The Pied Piper Of Hamelin

I distinctly remember hearing the story of the Pied Piper when I was about 7 years old. I was there, sat crossed-legged on the wooden floor in assembly and listening to the headteacher tell us the tale of the musical maverick with an overhead projector.

I remember it being far more nostalgic and not so traumatising.

The story goes that sometime in the 13th century a peculiar man dressed in brightly-coloured clothes (pied clothing) was hired by the town to rid them of the rats with his pipe-playing abilities. Hamelin had been suffering from an infestation that would threaten the locals with the plague. The piper was to play his pipe, entice the rats with his magical music, and lead them to a river where they would promptly drown.

He was hired and he did the job - but they didn’t pay up.

The piper couldn’t exactly refund his services. Instead, he sought vengeance, luring away the children of the town with his magical pipe. He waited until Saint John and Paul’s day where the adults would be in the church, dressed in green like a hunter, and played his pipe. The children of the village swarmed to him, all 130 of them, following him out of the town and into a cave. Three were unable to follow due to being blind and deaf and thus told the villagers what had happened.

The real story:

Some versions of the story claimed he made them walk into a river, others claim he returned them after payment. But what we do know for sure is that there is a street in Hamelin called Bungelosenstrasse. On this street - ‘the street without drums’ according to translation - the children were seen last. No music and no dancing is allowed on this road.

Bluebeard

We open on a typical Medieval scene: a powerful and wealthy man is looking for a young wife to replace the last one who mysteriously went missing. Bluebeard’s been through quite a few women, actually, but it’s his latest bae that stars in this story. Bluebeard marries his neighbour’s daughter and goes on a business trip.

He tells her he can stay alone in their house but she cannot open a certain door.

Of course, she opens the door and finds the corpses of his ex-wives. Her and her sisters band together to kill Bluebeard, showering themselves with a wealthy inheritance.

The real story:

This tragic tale of murder and mystery is unfortunately all too true.

There are many alleged origins of the folktale. Let’s start with the Medieval ruler of Brittany, Conomor the Cursed: his new wife agreed to marry him to prevent him from invading her father’s lands but accidentally walked in on a room full of his dead, old wives. She was visited by their ghosts who warn him if she falls pregnant, he will kill her, preventing a prophecy that claims he will be killed by his own son.

She gets knocked up, gives birth, and then she gets her block knocked off.

An alternative inspiration could be a similarly brutal figure: Gilles de Rais (15th century). He was accused of murdering approximately 140 children who suddenly went missing in the Nantes countryside. He was condemned to death and executed in 1440.

Snow White

It’s one of the most popular fairytales of all time.

The story goes that a queen gives birth to a baby girl but dies in childbirth. The king’s new wife is wicked and vain, asking her magic mirror ‘who is the fairest one of all?’ on a daily basis. When the child turns seven, the mirror changes its answer from the queen to the child, Snow White (yeah, that’s weird). The queen hires a huntsman to kill Snow White, but she begs for mercy and says she will live in the woods and he can pretend he killed her.

She finds shelter in a cottage belonging to seven dwarfs who agree to let her stay as a maid until the evil queen asks the mirror her favourite question. It claims Snow White is still alive and the fairest of them all. She goes through several methods of attempting to kill Snow until she falls into a deep coma. The dwarfs host a funeral, a prince comes along, and he, uhhh, kisses what he assumed to be a corpse and she is awakened.

They then get hitched but don’t invite the queen to the wedding. The queen asks the mirror yet again the identity of the fairest, assuming Snow is well and truly deceased but the mirror breaks the bad news to her again. The queen tries to kill her once more but Snow’s hubby forces her to wear red-hot iron slippers and dance in them until she dies.

There’s a lot going on here.

But rather than unpacking everything that's wrong with all of this *gestures to everything*, let’s just get to the dark reality beneath it all.

The real story:

The inspiration is generally deemed to be Margaretha von Walbeck, a young woman who had a terrible relationship with her stepmother. She was forced to move to Brussels and fell in love with Phillip II of Spain, a romance not popular with her parents.

Suddenly, however, Margaretha died. Rumour has it she was poisoned.

Another detail of her life also links her to Snow White: her father’s copper mines were often filled with child labourers whose growth was stunted by working in them, mirroring the ‘dwarves’ in the story.

But Margaretha is not the only contender: Maria Sophia Margaretha Catharina Freifräulein von Erthal *inhale* also hated her stepmother. This - and the fact that her stepmother was given a mirror as a gift by her husband - also ties her to Snow White.

Hansel And Gretel

It’s possibly the most simple fairy tale up for discussion: a brother and sister are sent out to the woods by their father. The mother asked for him to send them away so they can survive a famine. But Hansel uses stones to trace their steps back home. One day, however, he uses crumbs. They get eaten by the local wildlife, so the kids get lost.

They then discover a witch's house, a gingerbread cottage. She lures ‘em in, fattens up Hansel, and prepares to feast on his flesh. The kids plot against her, throw her in the oven, and steal her stuff before heading back to live with their father.

Okay, so maybe this one isn’t based on a true story. It’s based on true stories. Yep - plural.

The real story:

Child abandonment and infanticide was pretty common during plagues, famines, and all other circumstances of poverty. In fact, this particular tale is believed to come from the Great Famine which stretched across Europe from 1315 to 1317. Child abandonment surged during this time.

Rapunzel

Turns out Disney lopped off a lot of Rapunzel’s real story to make it a family friendly movie. Yep, this is a weird one.

A pregnant woman begins to crave a kind of salad leaf (Campanula rapunculus, also called rapunzel) in the garden of the house next door. He goes out to nick it but is caught by the homeowner - a witch. She says he can take the rapunzel, but in return he must give her the child once it is born.

The witch raises Rapunzel as her own but locks her away in a tower when she is 12 to protect her from the outside world.

A prince eventually rocks up and decides to climb her immensely long hair. Unknown, probably PG-13 and probably not consensual acts happen. Still, given it's the medieval era they agree to get hitched after escaping.

The witch discovers her plan, cuts off her hair, exiles Rapunzel, and uses the locks as bait for the prince before throwing him to the briar roses below where he is promptly blinded. Rapunzel gives birth to twins and the prince finds her, identifying her only by her voice. Her tears restore his voice.

The real story:

Being kidnapped or being kept hidden away from the rest of the world is pretty common, well, all of the time. But Saint Barabara, a Greek saint, was the main inspiration for the tale.

She was locked away in a tower in Turkey in the third century by her father in an attempt to protect her Christianity. But her Pagan father’s efforts did not succeed and she discovered the ways of Jesus. She escaped but she was eventually caught by her father who then tortured and beheaded her.

Religious intolerance, y’all.

Beauty And The Beast

Time for another Disney classic with a heavily edited plotline.

The father of a family seeks shelter in a grand palace during a storm. In the morning before he leaves he takes a rose from the garden but is caught by a beast who threatens to kill him for nicking a flower. But the beast agrees not to kill him if his daughter takes his place instead.

The daughter moves to the palace but asks to go see her family for a week. She is then convinced by her sisters to stay at home. A magic mirror then reveals the beast is dying because she isn’t with him. She returns to him and her love breaks the curse that makes him appear so monstrous.

The real story:

Petrus Gonsalvus (1637-1618) was born with hypertrichosis. This meant he had a thick layer of hair all over his body - his physical difference didn’t go down very well. He was kept as a ‘wild man’ in a cage and fed raw meat.

When he was 10 years old he was gifted to the king of france. But he wasn’t kept as a ‘beast’. He was educated like a nobleman and was taught to read, write, and speak three different languages. He was then married off to the daughter of a court servant.

He was married to her for over 40 years and they had seven children together.

(Aww.)

Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run, They all ran after the farmer’s wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As three blind mice?

The real story:

It's one of those nursery rhymes you grow up with - and 17 years later you realise how traumatic it actually is.

This nursery rhyme can be traced back to the reign of Bloody Mary (16th century) who had a tricky relationship with Protestants. And by that I mean she burnt them alive, hence the nickname.

The three blind mice represented three Protestant bishops who may have been blinded before their execution or spiritually blind for following Catholicism. Another reference to Queen Mary was her as a farmer’s wife.

Her husband, Philip of Spain, owned several estates and thus was technically a farmer.

Welp, there goes your childhood.

If you liked this post go on and like and reblog. Go on, share your love for my amazing talents with the world!

And if you want to read an article about the paranormal every weekend then you best be hitting follow!

See you next week, kiddos. Sleep tight.

[whoareurl]

👕 for sick Bucky?

👕 A: “*laughs* Dude, it’s still too hot out for sweaters.” B: “What no it’s freezing.” A: “It’s literally 80 F / 27 C…” B: “…hold up-”

(canon - post!ws au where civil war never happened and everybody lives in the tower. also this got kinda long so now i has a read more!)

-

“You wanna do something fun?” Steve asks, looking at Bucky with pleading eyes.

After Steve’s incident with some weird alien virus two weeks ago, he’s been stuck in quarantine long enough to send his nervous energy levels through the roof. Steve likes the team to think that it’s a side effect of the serum but Bucky knows better. It’s always been like this; Steve has never, in his life, been able to sit still for more than ten minutes.

“You wanna go to Taco Bell?” Natasha deadpans without looking up from her phone. She’s taken to spending most of her time on Steve and Bucky’s floor, sprawled somehow elegantly in one of the armchairs. 

Steve ignores her, turning his stupid blue puppy dog eyes on him and amping the pleading up to 100. Bastard.

Bucky sighs, making sure it sounds as dramatic and long suffering as possible. “Alright, fi-”

But he doesn’t get any further before Steve is on his feet and rushing towards their bedroom to change. “See you downstairs in 15!” He calls over his shoulder. 

Natasha’s shoulders are shaking with silent laughter. Bucky curses her out in Russian and leaves to strap a knife to his thigh before they leave. 

-

They’ve been in the park for maybe ten minutes before Steve is ambushed by a crowd of small children.

“You’re Captain America!” One boy shrieks excitedly from under his homemade Iron Man mask.

A girl, dressed as Thor, smacks him with her cardboard hammer. “Cody! Don’t go yelling about it! You’re being rude!”

The boy, Cody, merely sticks his tongue out at her but he does look back at Steve with apology in his eyes. 

“Sorry, Mr Captain Sir. I just wanted to say hi.”

Steve, bless him, chuckles fondly. He’s always had a soft spot for kids. It’s one of the many things Bucky finds hopelessly endearing about him. 

“It’s alright, son,” Steve says in that stupid deep voice of his. Bucky feels a shiver race up his spine. “You can call me Steve. I’m only Captain at work.” All of the children are now sporting equally awed looks which have Steve rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Are you kids training to be the next team of avengers?”

“Yeah! I’m gonna be just like Captain Marvel!” Squeals a boy who can’t be much older than six, dressed head to toe in Captain Marvel memorabilia (with the exception of his shoes which seem to be sporting several cartoon dogs). 

“Wow, that’s great!” Steve enthuses, offering the boy a high five. “You all look awesome.”

“Do you wanna play tag, Mr Cap- I mean, Steve?” Cody asks. 

Steve looks hesitantly at Bucky who rolls his eyes fondly and nods towards the kids as if to say “go ahead, you absolute moron.”

“Alright, I’m gonna count to five and then I’m gonna catch you!” Steve grins and Bucky shakes his head.

“I’m gonna get coffee,” he says while Steve counts. Bucky shivers again and folds his arms across his chest, watching Steve take off after the gang of squealing tiny avengers. 

Not for the first time, Bucky thinks Steve would probably be a great dad. But, like, only for the fun stuff. Steve Rogers would be a terrible influence on an impressionable mind. It’s bad enough when Peter swings (hah!) by after school and asks Steve about the fights he got into in the ‘30s. 

-

Before coffee, Bucky ducks into the nearest thrift store and buys a truly hideous sweater that he knows Tony will absolutely loath. It’s mostly grey with a horrendous shade of pink woven in a zigzag pattern across the arms and the same across the torso in orange. It’s awful and he loves it. He finds he’s still shivering even with the sweater and the Starbucks cups he’s got clutched in each hand. 

For a very brief moment, Bucky’s Steve-o-meter flashes red and he hears Ma Sarah’s voice in the back of his head telling Steve to take a coat so he doesn’t catch his death. But then he remembers all at once that Steve is now, what’s the phrase? Built like a brick shit house. 

Bucky sees his own concern, however, reflected in Steve’s face when he returns. The kids have moved on from tag and seem to be playing an elaborate game of hide and seek. Steve is making a show of being unable to find one of them quite obviously hidden in a tree when Bucky thrusts his coffee into his hands and sees a worried pinch form between Steve’s eyebrows.

“What’s with the sweater?” He asks. 

Bucky grins. “Isn’t it the worst?”

Steve smiles tentatively and sips his coffee, resuming his seeking while Bucky trails behind. 

“Tony will hate it,” Steve agrees mildly. “Why are you wearing it, though. It’s still too hot out for sweaters.”

Bucky eyes the golden leaves scattered around the grass and frowns. “Steve, it’s freezing.”

Steve really does frown then, stopping dead in his search and turning to peer at Bucky, who raises an eyebrow. 

“Buck, it’s like 85 degrees.”

Bucky frowns and pulls out his phone. No way is it 85 deg-

The number is there, clear as day. 81. 

“Hold up,” Bucky says, tugging the sleeves of the sweater down over his hands. Steve, for all his pinched worry, is smiling slightly too. “It’s warm out.”

Steve reaches a hand up to brush a strand of hair away from Bucky’s face, brushing his fingers against his cheek as he does so. “Yeah. And you feel pretty warm yourself, sweetheart. I think you’re coming down with something.”

Suddenly, the excess anxiety he’d woken up with that morning made so much sense. And god he’s exhausted. Have they really only been out for an hour? Bucky feels like he’s been on a mission since a week last Sunday.

“Now that I think about it,” Bucky admits slowly. “I actually don’t feel great.”

Steve’s lips twitch in a knowing smile before he glances up and sees the boy hidden in the tree.

“Aha!” Steve crows triumphantly. “Finally. Good job, son. I think this means it’s your turn to count.”

Steve throws an arm around Bucky’s shoulders and tells the kids that they have official avengers business they have to get back to and gives them a little mock salute which they all return with gusto. Bucky burrows close into Steve’s side, revelling in the fact that he’d fallen in love with a human furnace. 

“Movies in bed?” Steve asks.

Bucky hums in agreement. “Can we watch Back to the Future again?”

Steve laughs and it’s a beautiful, hearty sound that makes a new kind of warmth settle deep in Bucky’s chest. Grinning, Steve jostles him closer as they walk. “Sure, pal. Whatever you want.”

[jj-lynn21]

Ch 1 When we were just a little Lass and Lad

This story came from an idea @grandpa-sweaters had from a picture of Gustaf Skarsgard looking like he could play Bert from Mary Poppins. I very much agree.  

Ch 2 destination cloud 9

ch 3 Somewhere on Cloud 9

Ch 4 where ever the magic may take us

ch 5 The End is just the Start of a New Beginning

Warning: Just a bunch of whimsical fluff to start off.

Ch 1 When we were just a little Lass and Lad

It has been a while since you have believed in magic, has it not? I bet it has. But somewhere deep down you still feel that sense of whimsical energy you had as a child. Let that child-like curiosity follow me in to the Long Ago. You might say, “but the long ago is a time, not a place Ms.”

I assure you it is a place. A wondrous place where any wonderful thing starts. A wonderful thing like my beginning. You may have heard of me in some story that probably exaggerated some of the times I helped the Banks family, my family. I am Mary Poppins. And I shall explain everything.

Where to start, where to start? Oh yes, a long time ago where many things of a whimsical nature start. I was more created than just born as most creatures are, I suppose. The first daughter of the land to magical enough parents who taught me not everyone would appreciate my perfectly positive personality. Half the time they could not understand my cheery disposition.

When it rained, I was happy the flowers, trees, and other plants were getting the drink they craved. Plus playing in puddles was quite a fun time even in your most fantastical dress. When the sun was too hot for some, I was happy to let it tan my porcelain skin to the golden color of bronze. Of course, I was liberal on the sunscreen on the daily. All the seasons and all the weather just nourished our little place in the universe.

I very much annoyed some people but not Bert Alfred. Oh, he can inspire a whimsical song out of anyone. Happy-go-lucky, satisfied, charming, friendly, kind, imaginative, energetic, funny, zany, easy-going, artistic, intelligent, insightful, optimistic, empathetic, endearing, heroic and I need to take a breath. He is my everything. Oh Bert, always my first love although my parents insisted it was of the puppy variety. I suppose it was the fact our talents complemented each other so well.

Bert was able to do anything really. A unique Jack of all trades. But we fell in love in his chalk drawing. Even as children when we met on my stoop while our parents discussed whatever whimsical notions, I was intrigued by his chalk drawings full of more than they appeared. At least when I came around. They did fret the first time we ventured into the unknown.

Flashback

“Hi,” A shy precocious eight-year-old Bert smiled sitting beside Mary.

A seven-year-old Mary giggled, “hello, I’m Mary. And you are Sir?”

He takes out a small box of colored chalk from the pocket in his button-up shirt. “I’m Bert,” he tittered before kneeling on the sidewalk starting to create a scene. He thought her white dress and parasol was cute but he was to shy to tell her.

Mary kneels beside him watching his every stroke. “Oh, I do enjoy the circus. Have you ever really been? Uncle Albert took me to one once.”

Bert shook his head no, as he continued to add a red and white tent behind the lion on a pedestal with the tamer close by urging the lion to sit pretty. He stood when he was finished moving his closed mouth back and forth in contemplation. He looked to his new friend Mary, “Would you want to go with me?”

“Oh dear Bert, could we?” She smiled excitedly. “When shall we go? Will your parents take us or will mine? Will they even say yes?...”

He laughed, “You sure do talk a lot, Mary.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, “I certainly do not. I am practically perfect in every way. Just ask my parents.”

Bert chuckled, “I’ll take your word, Mary. We can go right now. All we have to do is…” He looks down at the drawing. “Hold my hand.”

Mary takes his hand in amazement and wonder.

“You think, you wink, do a double blink, you close your eyes and jump.” Bert and Mary jump on the painting and giggle loudly.

The adults look out the window at them and laugh. They are so glad their children are having a whimsical time together. They go back to planning the every few centuries excursion to London. You must be an adult to go on these adventures so the children will be entrusted to take care of each other. Which they have always done in Long Ago. The majority of the caretaking done by the ones more closely to adulthood.

Mary straightens and looks to see if anyone is watching, I guess if we are not gone for long, I will show you how its done dear Bert. My Aunt Iris showed me but said we must keep it secret. Can you keep a secret Bert?”

He nodded yes, “My Aunt Tilly was the one that took me on my first adventure. I must have done something wrong.”

“No silly,” Mary giggled. “It is just a girl thing. Now take my hand. Its off to the circus we go. One, two…three.”

They jump into the chalk drawing. The lion roars and they run behind the tamer that is drawn like the cartoon character Goofy and acts like him also.

“By garsh, are you young ones alright,” He asked scratching his head since he didn’t see them there a second ago. “Whoa, there Mr. Lion. We have guests you see.”

The lion bows to them with a smile of acceptance.

The tamer walks over and pats him on the head, “good boy. How about some lunch.”

The lion nods full mane rustling enthusiastically.

“I’m Flaky Frank.” He bows to the kids cordially. “We have popcorn, hotdogs and cotton candy in the tent. And the big show is about to start if you two would like to like to join?”

As they walk into the tent a rhinoceros in a colorful suit is at a small booth, “Tickets for the show, get your tickets. Show starts in five minutes.”

“I’m Mary and my friend is Bert,” She said politely. “We would like two tickets please?”

“Sure thing, Lass and Lad.” He smiles. “And where are your guardians on this most auspicious occasion.”

“I am his guardian and he is mine, so we both have a great guardian you see,” She answered proudly.

“I see,” he nods and gives them tickets. “Better get a seat. It is about to fill up quickly.”

As soon as they sit balancing popcorn between their legs, cotton candy in one hand, and a hotdog in the other, the other seats in the bleachers do fill up quickly as in immediately with a variety of characters. Lions, tigers, bears, elephants, trapeze artists and tightrope walkers entertained, and everyone clapped. As the kids walked out of the tent thunderstruck. The rain started dripping. Then it started pouring.

“Grab my hand Bert,” Mary held her hand out to him.

Bert took her hand. Then he came nearer hugging her protectively. As they held each other shivering in the rain they were back in front of her home. The rain pours, lightning struck, thunder roared, and they were surrounded by their parents and other adults from The Long Ago.

End flashback

But soon it was forgotten by all but me and Bert. Bert just got more handsome as we grew up together. He was very popular dating many women including Mavis, Sybil, Prudence, and Gwendolyn to my chagrin. 

But being practically perfect in every way I ignored my feelings that some might have considered jealousy.  All the while I kept my eye on that silly boy, for his own good of course. It had nothing at all to do with his growth spurt and chest that looked like a nice place to rest your head on a summer’s eve. 

Flashback

As she prepared to head home she thought, That boy is just plane…

“Hey, Mary.” He acknowledged as he exited the college library seeing her astride her pink bicycle with her basket full of fairytales.

[zzizzigom]

Hi my star, my light, my love. Can I request an over protective Wonho fic. After tonight's events, I feel in the need for some rescuing!!

Characters: modern royal fem!reader x bodyguard!wonhoGenre: fluff Words: 2242A/N: “Here is an insurmountable amount of garbage. It disgusts me as well. I apologize in advance.” 

I hope you enjoy it my shining, glorious moon!! if not just tell me and I’ll change the whole thing! 

“Hoseok come on!” You impatiently pull on your bodyguard’s wrist as he drags his heels. Because of your size difference you’re not making much progress but you’re not one to give up so easily. Turning to face him, you use your other hand to pull and he gives you an amused smile when you accomplish in making him take a single step forward. Taking a pause you give him an annoyed look.

“Your Highness, it’s not safe.”

“What are you talking about? It’s an amusement park. All there is are children and their parents and other couples.” Your eyes widen. “N-not that I think we’re a couple o-or anything..”

All your stuttering thankfully goes unnoticed because Hoseok is instead looking around focused on the area. No doubt he’s looking for exits and making note of any other patrons in the park that are suspicious. You release a sigh, almost disappointed that he didn’t notice your bumbling.

“There’s too many people that can recognize you.”

“I’m in disguise,” you argue. “It’ll be fine.”

“I highly doubt a face mask with a cartoon bear nose is going to adequately disguise you, Your Highness.”

“Well it won’t if you keep calling me that.”

“What else am I to call you?”

Rolling your eyes you pull the mask down to your chin and give him another look of annoyance. “I told you to call me by my name. The whole ‘Your Highness’ or ‘Majesty’ stuff is weird. Especially when it comes from you.”

“Your Highness, it would not be polite of me to call you anything else.”

Stepping forward to lower your voice you look up at his eyes. They’re so dark and piercing you have to hold back the shiver that wants to run down your spine. “Hoseok, we’re childhood friends. You have every right to call me my name.”

Hoseok releases a breath through his nose, his lips pursed. “You have four hours before you have to be at your father’s press conference. Which ride would like to do first, Your Highness?”

Taking a deep breath you realize Hoseok’s not going to have this argument with you now. Pasting on a happy smile, you wink as you pull the bear mask back over your mouth and nose. “The teacups!”

After the teacups, came the pirate ship. After the pirate ship, a small roller coaster. After the small one, you of course needed to right the much bigger one with the double loop-de-loop. Hoseok stayed on the ground for that one. You figured you could give him a break after he almost pushed a toddler out of the way to get off the last roller coaster.

As the cart came to stop, you spotted your bodyguard standing against a nearby tree, his arms crossed and his eyes on you. You smile at him and lift your hand to wave. At your actions his face softens and he waves back. The ride operator hits the button for the over-the-shoulder restraints to rise and you begin to climb out of the train.

Making your way towards the exit, a man bumps into you. Not expecting it, you stumble and fall into the arm railing. Your elbow hits the metal and you feel the weird zing that moves up your arm. The man barely mumbles an apology over his shoulder as he keeps moving. Sneering at him from behind your mask, you regain your balance and finish making your way off the ride.

You meet Hoseok at the exit but his eyes aren’t on you. Instead he’s watching the man who bumped into you with a piercing gaze. With pursed lips, you grab onto his arm but his eyes only flick to you before turning back to the man.

“Just leave it,” you murmur. “I’m sure it was an accident.”

“Maybe, but he didn’t even stop to properly apologize. What kind of person runs into someone and doesn’t apologize?”

“Not everyone has the same honor you do, Hoseok. Anyway, it’s fine, it was only my funny bone.”

Hoseok looks at you then with a pensive look. “I’m supposed to protect every part of you.”

“I’m sure I won’t die from an elbow bruise.” Giving a tug of his arm you ignore the worried look in his eyes. “Come on, we’re running out of time and I’m hungry.”

You sit at a table as Hoseok stands in line for pizza. Or at least you assume so; it’s crowded enough now that you’ve lost sight of him from your table. The sun is also starting to get hotter and the mask on your face is beginning to suffocate you. The table you are sitting at is the furthest from the concessions and somewhat tucked away. Figuring you could spare a quick minute, you pull the mask down to your chin and sigh in relief at the air hitting your full face.

Shutting your eyes, you take in the sunshine with a soft smile. There’s a jostling of the table bench and assuming it’s Hoseok back with food you turn with a grin. However when you open your eyes you come face to face with a man you’ve never before seen. He’s leering at you, his chin resting on the palm of his hand. Someone else sits behind you and you peek to see another man grinning at you.

“Look here, we’ve got ourselves a pretty one.” The first man reaches out and plays with a tendril of your hair.

With a sneer you snap your head away and glare at him. “Don’t touch me.”

The man behind you laughs. “She’s also a feisty one.”

You move to stand up. It didn’t seem like they recognized you and so you figured you had a chance at getting out of this. “Listen, I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m not interested. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m waiting for a friend.”

You manage to get both legs out from behind the bench but before you can take a step, the second man grabs your wrist. “But, baby, it looks like you’re alone.”

Flicking off his hand, you glare at him. “I said don’t touch me.”

“Listen, bitch, we’re being nice here.” The first man stands up and reaches forward. He yanks the mask off before dropping it to the ground. Stepping back, you try to turn away but the second man catches you again and holds you still. The first man steps forward, “Wait a second you look kinda familiar.”

The man behind you twists you around roughly to get a look at you. “She looks like that royal bitch.” The other man comes around to join his friend and squints at your face.

“She does, doesn’t she? We’d get good money for that.”

Panic rising in your chest, you wonder how no one in the area is coming to your rescue. You absolutely hate being saved but you were smart enough to know when you’re overpowered. These men were not small and the three of you knew who would win if it became physical.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter. “Now, like I said, I’m here with a friend.”

The men laugh at you and you feel rage replace the panic. Without caring about the consequences, you lift your foot and stomp as hard as you can on one of the men’s feet. It must’ve belonged to the one holding you because he grunts and lets go of you in shock. In the moment of surprise that you have, you shove the other man away and turn to run.

You only get a few steps away before you hear them shout. Peeking over your shoulder you see them racing after you. Before you can turn to see where you’re going, you bump into a steady body. The person drops the food they were holding as he lets out a grunt in shock. Looking up, your relief of finding someone to help grows exponentially when you recognize Hoseok.

Face crumpling in relief, you grip his body close to yours. “Oh thank God.”

“Your Highness? What’s wrong?”

“Excuse me, sir,” one of the men interrupts, slightly breathless. “You found our girl.”

Hoseok looks up then, a brow quirked. “And who are you?”

“That’s not important. We’ll just take our little friend here and go.”

Eyes turning dark, Hoseok wraps his arms around you and pulls you aside to place you behind him. His posture changes to rigid and even from behind you know the look on his face is murderous. The two men finally begin look nervous but they refuse to give up. Hoseok lets out a small chuckle. “I think you two are mistaken. She’s not going anywhere with you, and if I ever so much as see your faces again, you’ll regret ever speaking to her.”

When the men still refuse to stand down, one of them even taking a step forward, Hoseok moves aside his jacket to show what you know is his gun holster. The men blanch then and turn away. The first one looks back once more and spits at the ground at Hoseok’s feet. Your bodyguard tenses even further, but you tighten your hold on his body.

“Don’t,” you whisper. “Let’s just go.” Your voice seems to remind Hoseok where he is and after a final glance at the two men, he turns to study you. His hands grip at your arms but it doesn’t hurt, instead it’s grounding. As he talks, his eyes are roaming over you from head to toe.“Are you okay? What happened? Did they hurt you?”

You shake your head. “No, they just scared me. They didn’t know how to take no for an answer is all.”

“Here, let’s get you a place to sit down.”

Hoseok finds another table, this one in the shade and sits you down. He takes a spot right next to you, his eyes never leaving your face. Reaching forward, he brushes a piece of hair from your face and the touch of his fingers on your face brings you to a realization.

“Oh, I lost my mask.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“And the food…you dropped it when I ran into you. I’m sorry…”

“I don’t care about that either.” Hoseok sighs. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I shouldn’t have left you alone for so long.”

“It’s fine,” you shrug. “The park is busy; I’m sure the lines were long.”

“They weren’t,” Hoseok admits. His voice is low and his lowers his gaze in guilt. “I saw you looking at that giant bear at the shooting range game. I decided to give it a shot and try and get the bear for you as a surprise. I should’ve known all those games are rigged anyway.”

You couldn’t help the soft snort that leaves you. Hoseok gives you a slightly incredulous look.

“I just told you that I lied to you and you’re laughing?”

This time you let the laugh out completely. “That’s not a lie worth getting upset about. It’s actually kind of cute imagining you, the great Lee Hoseok, losing at a carnival game. Besides, I said I wasn’t hurt and it’s not your fault those idiots came up to me so don’t blame yourself for that either.”

Hoseok’s jaw clenches at the mention of the men and he scowls. “I shouldn’t have let them go.”

“I’d rather you let them go than shoot them in an amusement park. This place isn’t so big, I’m sure if we alert security they’d find them.”

“Yeah, let’s do that and then head out. You’ll be late otherwise.”

In the moment of chaos you forgot about the press conference you have to be in attendance for. With a soft groan, you lean your head back on the table. You curse those disgusting men for ruining the small amount of free time you have. Hoseok stays silent for a moment but then gently clears his throat. “I didn’t completely lose.”

Turning to look at him you frown in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok reaches into this jacket pocket then and pulls out a small bunny keychain. “I was able to knock down 3 pins so they let me choose a keychain.”

He holds it out to you and reaching up you take it and hold the ball of fluff in your fingers. Smiling up at him, you sit up straight again. “I got something out of this too.”

“What’s that?”

“You called me by my name a couple minutes ago.”

Hoseok frowns but it drops from his face quickly when he suddenly remembers that he did in fact use your name and not a title. Standing up, you playfully pinch his cheek and he pouts lightly.

“Come on,” you say. “I think I see a security kiosk nearby.”

You make it a few paces ahead of him before he catches up to you. His cheeks are little red still but you grin at the sight and reach out to take his hand. His cheeks redden more and you giggle at the sight.

“This is unseemly.” Hoseok tries for stern but just sounds bashful.

“And yet you haven’t pulled away.”

There’s a beat of silence between you and you almost expect Hoseok to regain composure and pull away. But instead the hold on your hand tightens ever so slightly and he moves to stand a little closer beside you.

“I’m not, am I?”

[moccahobi]

Three Little Kids... Or Stilts [Taehyung x reader? Barely]

Warnings: None really

Prompt: On Halloween, you meet a monster dressed as a human.

Genre: Slice of life, Not really romance, comedy, Supernatural au!

Word Count: 641 Words

You sighed, lazily swirling the water in your Dasani water bottle under the sticky theater counter. It was Halloween night and you were stuck working the night shift in the unkempt movie theater of your town, wishing you were anywhere but here. Why did you sign up for it? You needed the money but now you were stuck watching your friends have fun and party online during your breaks while you’re bored out of your mind. If you weren’t being watched through the security cameras, you would totally watch some show or something as you work, but you were being watched and that was against the protocall. Looking around, you saw one man stumble his way towards you. He walked strangely, taking small shuffling steps punctuated by larger steps that ended in him stumbling for half a beat. His walk made you anxious that at any second he might fall and break something. The man’s arms were also uncommonly short but you didn’t think too much of that since that could be a disability.

“One popped corn and… a sour kids packet.” He said in a chocolatey deep voice that took you back slightly as he looked like someone who would have a higher voice. What he said took you by surprise and forced you to think for a second before you realized that he wanted popcorn and sour patch kids.

“What size?” You asked, hand hovering over the most expensive size.

"Uhhh… the one on the left." He muttered, pointing at the small size. You sighed and grabbed the small as well as the sour patch kids from the case.

"That'll be 1000 won, Sir." You said absentmindedly as you tapped out his order on the cash register.

"Won?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Money. I need money."

"Oh… nevermind then." He said, turned around, and walked away, making you anxious that he’ll fall once again. In that moment, you were reminded of those cartoons where children would stand on each other's shoulders and dress up as a human… but the man was definitely your age or older, he got into the theater after all.

Maybe he was a midget and just shy about his height?

But you live in a small town and knew that no midgets lived here so he’d have to be foregin… which wouldn’t make tons of sense because your town is not a tourist trap. Shaking your head, you cancelled his order on the register and went back to waiting for some other non existent customer to come and order something.

It was only when you went to the theater room the man walked into  to clean up after a show that you got your answer: The man sitting in the back, giggling in a higher pitched voice, the pants and shirt he wore resting on the seat next to him (a shirt and pants that were fitted on him now), his legs swing back and forth, not even touching the floor. You were shocked to say the least and the loud “fuck” that you dropped seemed to scare him too. The little man fell off his seat with a loud scream.

“I-I-I didn’t expect to see someone here at this time.” The man stuttered out in the same chocolatey deep voice, crawling on the floor and trying to gather all his clothes and… were those stilts on the floor?

“I knew you were a midget.” Slipped out quietly as you moved to help him pick his things up, not forgetting some of your common decency.

“Yeah! I am not a midget! I am a leprechaun! How dare you call me a midget?!” The man’s face reddened, “Name’s Taehyung!” He shouted and jumped up to point at you (him standing up was barely the height of you kneeling).

You stared at him in quiet for a little before his eyes widened and ran out of the theater room

You knew he didn’t pay for a ticket… you just didn’t think he’d claim to be something magical.

-

This was fun to get back into. Sorry for missing the last two, I barely had breathing room to relax. Had to recuperate before being able to write much. 

[kantuck]

Eternity

"Eternity" By Kantuck Nadie Nata-akon Wednesday, May 8, 2019

"So this is heaven?"

That odd thought was the first thing that crossed my mind. It was at least comforting to know the line of people(?) I was behind, was somewhat short, seeming to lead to a yep, you guessed it, Pearly gates. Self-proclaimed by at least the Christian beliefs.

I had religious studies, but I had no idea what the Muslin faith, or Buddhist, or Tao or the multitude of other religious beliefs spoke of. After all, I was a man of science who held a different view. But I guess what the Methodist instructors told me was still in my memory onion. Anyway...I guess the reaper had a slow day since there was only what? A few thousand all marching toward it.

Finally, I passed someone I took as St. Peter who smiled at me (again according to the Christian faith), and then stood before a glow I took as God. I didn't see a physical being, /but I felt as if he smiled upon me/, and so it begins.

Wondering what's here hmm? Well let me describe, for its easy.

Omnidirectional white. Yes, that's it. Unless I'm meeting someone or by the wall that seems to stretch to infinity no matter where I look, it was white. No forms, no shadows, no nothing. So this could go on, being infinity large or just a box barely wider than my arm length.

But myself. Yeah, I was at least at peace. The cancer that took me was gone, and so the pain the doctors, bless their souls (some may already be here.) helped me with.

However, everything was fine. I met some great laudables of the past (two of my heroes, Dr. King and Dr. Sagan for example) but being as I am, I had trouble with socialization. The shuffleboard and pretty nurses didn't interest me anymore (And I had more than enough of such in the brief time I was in the home.) I merely _existed_ and was this going to my fate?

An eternity of...SHEER UNRELENTING BORDEM?

I remembered suddenly what Dr. Asimov wrote in his final autobiography. Something in the realm of "...it wouldn't be heaven to me, if I could not write..." Seems that even in heaven I didn't have a photographic recall which confounded, and aggravated me no end. Still...The /meaning was there/.

Hmm, there was this obscure story of Sherlock Holmes going to heaven after the Reichenbach Falls of "The Final Problem". Which after he reached heaven, he too was bored to hell -- literally. But after performing a service to St. Peter to help find Jack the Ripper who somehow got into heaven, St. Peter rewarded the great detective by returning him to earth to continue his grand mission.

A morose feeling came over me, and, I couldn't help but to laugh.

"WHAT IS SO AMUSING?" boomed a voice out of the white.

I wasn't surprised at the voice, so with a good-heart question, I looked up and said "Who is this? I've been good!" I half-expected to hear "It's the Lord, Noah..."

It seems that the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost -- which ever way he labeled himself as, had no sense of humor, but then...

"Hello sir." Not sure exactly how to address him.

"Hello Mr. Serri."

There was an undetermined amount of time that passed between us which hit me strange. As I understood it, time does not exist here, but yet, if time doesn't exist...then what was I doing just a (moment?) before, while thinking of Bill Cosby? Or Dr. Asimov? Or...ug, time mechanics made my brain hurt, even when H.G. Wells described it to me in a 19th century way.

I broke the silence, "Sir..." I looked around at the unending white "Is this all there is? This for an infinite amount of time?"

The glow didn't change, but the voice had a modulation of surprise. "Doesn't it please you?"

I looked down for some reason. I felt as if I wanted to please him and not disappoint him. "No sir. I'm board. There is no music, no animals, no Earthly beauty."

"You were reminded of what Isaac Asimov, wrote, wasn't you?"

I jerked my head(?) up at him, in which he said,

"No, I don't normally read your thoughts, but it was broadcast so strongly because you have a great deal of affection with him. After all, he wrote to a 12-year-old boy."

I swear I felt him smile once again. "Yes sir, he did, uh, but yeah. What he wrote."

There was a odd tingle as he touched me, and I recalled exactly what Dr. Asimov wrote.

"Don't disparate. He's here as well still doing as he loved in life. Why he even finished his story "Foundation." I believe he called it "The Final Foundation, and now at work on his 500th novel."

I looked wide-eyed at the glow, "Oh how I wish I could read it now."

"I'll put you in touch with him. I know he'd love to have another of his fans reading his works."

"Thank you!' A huge smile crossed my face.

"Also don't concern yourself about Bill Cosby."

I looked away, "He's..." I looked down, "Down there?"

"No. He sinned, but his punishment, although harsh, is finite. His purgatory will end eventually, for he did a lot of good too. You all are sinners, you cannot help that."

I couldn't help but to agree with him, knowing things I did that I wasn't proud of. He surprised me when he added.

"Your first sin was peeing on your father when you were eight months old, and laughing about it."

I looked up at the glow, "I...did?"

That same self smile "You was very young; an infant, so it's overlooked.

I laughed some, the tension lightening. "Thank you, sir." But after a moment(?) I had to ask. "But is this my fate then? To drift around this "heaven" for an eternity. Seeing nothing, meeting only people, yourself. " I smiled, "reading the great works of my favorite authors?"

"Oh no. A poet said, "The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell and a hell of Heaven."

"Milton" I added. Now my memory was indexed and google was working at top speed.

"Yes. Asimov shows that your 'heaven' can be anything you desire.

"Even?" I asked.

"Yes...within limits of course."

I smiled, "Of course."

For a time we didn't speak. He let me gather my thoughts then something from my childhood and adulthood came to mind. "I can't return to Earth, right?"

"Not in a physical sense. That is allowed only for very special cases." There was something like a chuckle "Even Sherlock Holmes was rewarded once."

I couldn't help but to smile. "I could go back however as a spirit?"

"Anytime. Just think about where you'd want to go, what time and you'll be there."

"Even..." I didn't want to even hope, "Even anywhere in the /universe/?"

"Even that. Of course going to other parts of the universe requires knowledge /of the place/. But you can learn that on your own.

A sense of joy, of hope, of desire flooded my incorporate being. I felt something I haven't felt in decades. A childish desire..."I can spend eternity exploring the universe? Go anywhere any /time/?

"Until the Universe dies. After all, this place exists outside of the universe so yes."

I felt like hugging the father, but I held off, almost giddy. I couldn't help but to start laughing. Which I then felt him again smiling at me. "Thank you sir! I only wish I had known this when I came in!"

"Well, you had to make your own mind, make your own decisions. That is one of the gifts I gave you, aside from life and the animals and Earthy beauty as well."

I was too giddy, too happy to feel anything but pleasure. I was babbling "I can spend an eternity learning, and I don't have to worry about breaking my glasses!" Then I tested my new ability, thinking of my home of my childhood. Suddenly there I was.

I was standing in a room. One I recognized as the old family room, and on the TV was a man with a bunch of children in the studio, wearing a brown hat and glasses. "Hellllooooo CARTOONERS!" from a booming voice, and the mascot in a silly brown and green dog-like suit with a big green head on his head, beeping a horn.

At my feet, I had a box of legos that I was assembling, and I could see my aura...an odd thing to see now. A soft glowing blue light around me. I could sense I was enjoying life, not knowing what life was ahead of me.

From there, nothing could stop me. I immediately was transported to the moon and I literally walked over every inch of it. Looking into lave tubes, and deep crevices, and seeing things that would only be seen ultimately when man actually /lived/ on the moon. Later, I flew to Mars and looked over Vikings 1 and 2 and the other probes.

No planet was out of reach; Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, the Kupiler belt. I spent a few hundred years exploring our Sol system, watching Man finally getting their head out of their -- ohhh the first FTL ship. I watched in amazement when FTL 1 disappeared. Finding out he appeared where I was, just a moment or so later. (His ship dropped out of warp into the heart of a star a few light-years away.)

As God said, I had to /know/ where to go, so I spent time jumping from the Sol system to the nearest stars. I loved the view of Alpha Centari A, and B. Jumping to Proxima Centari and exploring the planets of it.

By the time a millennium had passed, I had already explored the local group of stars, watching civilizations appear on various planets. Humans hadn't reached out this far yet, and besides these civilizations wasn't anywhere near a post-warp society.

As I watched the various civilizations, some self-destructed into mad genocidal wars, some destroyed by a planetary catastrophe.

Some planets I had to spend decades to even /find/ the people. Beings so primordial who knew how to hide in the very space-time of the universe. These "first-borns" born when the galaxy was forming...then some so incredibly malevolent I was glad I was a being they couldn't detect for I would be afraid of my own existence around them. "Shadows" I heard some called in various languages; I tended to agree.

By an inordinately long time, I finally stood at the event horizon of a black hole.

Energy beings flitted, and hovered just faint centimeters from the point of no return (while I had already explored the very heart of black holes billions of years earlier.)  These energy beings, like basking sharks, was soaking up gravitational energies, the dissipating heat energy of atoms, molecules, dust and asteroids -- sometimes gorging themselves when a stray star drifted too close, and was shredded by the intense gravity.

It was then, this uncountable trillions of years in the future, I finally asked the him.

"Sir? Is this it? The death of the universe is the last amount of knowledge I can gain? Will I never learn anything more?"

As I watched those Black Hole basking sharks, flittering around, desperately trying to survive in a universe losing more and more energy, growing forever colder, darker and empty. I knew I could exist here even longer, for the age of the black holes would exist even uncountable trillions of years more into the future.

Even now, I already was running out of the ability to learn. All I could gain was 'what was alive' and 'spacial locations.' All planets had disappeared, all life aside from these black hole basking sharks and some others existed. But all was mindless, instinct driven life.

"No, Mr. Serri, an infinite time means infinite learning." A feeling of a smile "Just as Asimov said. "Education isn't something you can finish."

"But how? I was sadden by what I could see "My universe is now dead."

"Come with me." he said as he touched me. There was a -- feeling only. One moment we were at the black hole the next back in Heaven, at the site of what looked like a door. He opened it, we stepped though, and in another omnidirectional white area he bellowed "Let there be light."

I smiled, I knew what this was at our feet. A swirling mass of energy, which immediately exploded outward, swelling within seconds, trillions of times larger than we. A whole new universe was beginning to form.

"You just have to wait a few days for the first beings to be born, then you can explore until it dies."

I smiled up at him "Thank you sir."

This time a Cheshire cat smile "Your welcome, Mr. Serri. It's a simple gift."

"A gift of eternity." I thought and watched.

end

[nextstarblazers]

EPISODE 1

“I cannot bear to see what has become of Earth. Once green and growing, with blue lakes and silver streams, great rivers and mighty seas! Now, all gone! Only day and burning desert left, radiation everywhere!” - Captain Avatar

So begins the very first episode of STAR BLAZERS, first broadcast in syndication on Monday, September 17, 1979. It’s an opening, and indeed an episode, utterly unlike anything else then being broadcast on American television at that time--and it still retains all of its emotional power. 

It’s a very strange episode in one sense: you don’t get to the actual premise of the series until Episode 2, so this first installment is almost entirely backstory. But the one thing it does brilliantly is to establish a sense of hopelessness and despair--not at all common things in a children’s cartoon. From the very first line uttered, we see that the Earth is in a terrible state, literally on the verge of extinction--and things will not get much better for the next 23 minutes.

STAR BLAZERS was freely adapted from the original SPACE BATTLESHIP YAMATO, first aired in Japan in 1974. But the producers made a number of changes when importing the series for the American marketplace. Chiefly, these alterations involved the removal of sequences of excessive violence and culture-specific touchstones that wouldn’t translate to an American audience. But in a number of cases, they played around with the actual structure of the episodes themselves.

In YAMATO, the state of the Earth isn’t revealed until the halfway point, when Captain Avatar/Okita’s crippled battleship returns from space. But in STAR BLAZERS, that entire sequence is moved to the front. And so we learn immediately that the planet has been poisoned by a superior enemy from outer space, that Earth’s space fleets have largely been defeated and destroyed, and that the whole of surviving humanity has relocated to cities constructed miles deep inside the Earth itself. In terms of presenting the emotional power of this idea, I think I prefer the STAR BLAZERS arrangement, where the narrative cards are put on the table right away.

The episode is also canny in terms of how it lays out its cast. Coming into it cold, the viewer has no idea which characters are meant to be regulars and which will not. So when we’re introduced to Alex Wildstar, commanding the missile ship Paladin among Captain Avatar’s last remaining space fleet, it’s only natural to assume that he’s going to be a central player.

A quick word about the character names. Yes, they are all just a little bit silly--but honestly, no sillier than Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, or Starbuck and Apollo. The production team was really following the conventions that had been recently established for naming your space-faring heroes. Honestly, the most remarkable thing about it is the choice of a non-traditional first name such as Derek for their lead character. It’s not especially common, and like Luke, it’s got a certain cadence to it. The contrast personality-wise between Derek Widstar and Mark Venture is apparent right in their names. You can hear them and immediately get a sense as to what sort of character they are.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this first episode is the sacrifice of Alex Wildstar. Especially in these early episodes, the production team appears to struggle with just how they’re going to deal with all of the very serious situations they’re going to encounter during the course of the series. In some cases, they’ll splice in footage to ensure viewers that a particular character survived an obviously-fatal encounter or to obfuscate a death. Past a certain point, though, there’s a sense that they realize that they’re not going to be able to keep this pretense up, and so they largely abandon it, leaving it only for the most extreme cases (”Knox got out just behind you!”)

And in 1979, the apparent death of Alex Widstar is strong stuff. he goes out a hero, of course, sacrificing his ship and his crew to allow Captain Avatar the time to retreat (”It’s just a simple matter of mathematics, sir! There are 470 men on your flagship! There are 20 on our ship!”)  But his death is actually mourned, and felt, throughout the remainder of the episode. We see its impact directly, on both Derek Wildstar and on the old, grizzled captain, and it’s the event that defines their relationship. Tragedy was also not something we were used to experiencing on weekday afternoons.

No less affecting is Wildstar and Venture’s descent into an Underground City after they’ve returned from space with the message capsule from Iscandar, and we follow that geiger counter as it ticks away as they go. and they speak about the inevitable oblivion that they and all they love are facing. No two ways about it, this is a depressing episode, and it doesn’t pull its punches much in terms of getting across the themes and the stakes. 

But it’s not all doom-and gloom. There is, of course, the message of hope from Starsha of Iscandar, promising the Earth the Cosmo DNA that can restore it to prosperity, and delivering unto humanity the plans for the Wave-Motion Engine that can help mankind to bridge the unfathomable 148,000 light years that separate the two planets. There’s also some light fun to be had as a few other key players are brought onto the canvas, Dr. Sane and the robot IQ-9, as well as his nurse, Nova.

It’s perhaps worth pointing out that, in the entirety of this inaugural episode, we never so much as see a Gamilon. They are a faceless, implacable enemy, represented only by their ships and planes and guns. This parallels the experiences for the characters as well, as we will learn that, one big narrative mistake to the contrary, most people on the Earth have never laid eyes upon the enemy who has brought them to such ruin.

From a creative sense, it seems to me that this taps very much into the sentiment of post-WWII reconstruction-era Japan, the time in which most of the creative staff of YAMATO grew up. That same sense of defeat, of humiliation, of helplessness in the face of destiny permeates throughout this episode. In a very real way, YAMATO is WWII-era wish fulfillment: “what if, when American unleashed the Atomic Bomb on us, we were able to hold out, and send our strongest ship, the representation of our nation and culture, against them!” For many of these creators, they themselves may not have come into contact with an actual American.

And so we come to the wrap-up of the episode, wherein the battle-hungry Wildstar and Venture steal a fighter to attempt to engage an enemy plane making a sortie above the sunken battleship, the Yamato. At this point, we still don’t really have any idea what this show is going to be about, but we get our first taste after the two cadets crash in the dry sea bed, and the strains of that soul-stirring theme music begin to swell as they crest the ridge.

The music was a big part of what made STAR BLAZERS work. That original YAMATO score is so powerful and evocative that those of us who watched the show sought it out, on record albums and cassettes once we became aware of their existence. It must also be said that while the STAR BLAZERS theme song is itself rather silly--I expect there isn’t a STAR BLAZERS fan of the era who wasn’t taunted by other kids mockingly singing portions of it--it’s also strangely affecting and sincere. It’s about something, it resonates.

And so this first episode closes dramatically, with the view of a 200-year-old decayed, sunken battleship and the narration uttering the question that will bring us back on Tuesday: “What is the secret of this ancient battleship?” We will soon find out.

[demyrie]

English Homework -- BnB

“Good morning, young Shinsou! No training this morning?” Toshinori asked as brightly as he could despite, or perhaps because of, the boy's dour expression and downturned face. Shinsou kicked the wet grass, but did so away from his mat.

“I've gotta take breaks,” he muttered, crossing his arms. One of them was bandaged rather extensively and two of his fingers were stinted. “Apparently.”

“Aizawa-sensei knows what he's doing, I'm sure,” Toshinori said mildly. Then, as the child continued to stand, staring at his wet sneakers, Toshinori patted the woven mat next to him. “Would you care to sit?”

“Yeah, I'm … Yagi-san, could you help me with my homework?”

The boy looked embarrassed, but mostly tired. There was something about the deep set of his strangely colored eyes that made him look like he was gazing out from the opposite end of a tunnel, distant and disappointed, and Toshinori said it before he even considered if he could actually be of help:

“Of course, my boy! Take a seat.”

Even as Shinsou kicked off his shoes and sat down, the older hero's grin calcified unpleasantly: homework! What did he know about algebra and other high school necessities? The only thing that could make him panic more was a request for romantic advice, which he was incredibly certain would be forthcoming with Midoriya someday soon and he dreaded it every waking moment.

Seated, Shinsou awkwardly slung his bag off his shoulder and dumped it in front of him, half of the contents sloughing out, the other half bent in two and relentlessly dog-eared. Everything was grubby at the edges. Not a very organized soul. Probably what Aizawa would be, Toshinori thought with a sparkle of mirth, if he hadn't trimmed his life of any trinkets or other excess through sheer exhaustion.

It was a worksheet of English, half-filled. Toshinori breathed a sigh of relief. He actually knew a fair amount but he also wasn't about to interfere with the flow of the first year's learning process. The key was asking questions that made him think a little further, addressing or circumventing any weakness in skill, which Toshinori was coming to realize was a grander part of teaching: letting the students know what they didn't know while reminding them of what they did.

So they prodded along, lapsing into periods where Shinsou would scribble intently, deep frown slowly easing. The boy was probably having a hard time keeping up with both Aizawa's expectations and the General Studies course, and Toshinori tried not to consider how much of that was by design, to test his mettle. His want.

Toshinori found himself chuckling as they worked through the assignment. It seemed Yamada-san taught General Studies English as well as Hero Course English and his translation examples were … amusing, to say the least. Toshinori read along with the coursework with a faint smile, but that smile was quick to drop as then the older hero began to put some things together.

“What is all this?” he asked at last, gesturing to the worksheet – particularly, the stiffly inked cartoon animals arranged at the top of the page, which looked like they had been photocopied to death.

“English?” the boy said, blinking.

“No, the little characters. The stories. It seems … very involved.”

“Oh, you mean the animals. That's Grumpy Cat. Tall Bunny. Cool Bird. Smart Wolf,” he listed, pointing to each in turn and pronouncing their english names with only slight hesitation. “Grumpy Cat, Smart Wolf and Cool Bird are best friends even though they're really different. They all go on adventures together. Tall Bunny is new and he's really shy, but he's okay. Other animals come by, too.”

Toshinori swallowed audibly. Grumpy Cat was little more than a pair of narrowed eyes in a black whiskered face, and, to his rising horror, had a crescent-shaped scar under its left eye. Smart wolf had spiky dark fur, a saucy grin and very distinctive red glasses. Cool bird had flashy sunglasses and earphones and looked to be screaming. 

Tall bunny had ... Well, tall bunny was very tall, and was carrying a frilly handkerchief. He didn't look well, even as bunnies went.

“Yamada-sensei draws them all on the board and we have to translate what they're saying to figure out the story. Whoever figures it out first, or does the best impressions in class when its time to read it aloud, gets candy.”

Requesting that he continue to talk about it in English, to test him, Toshinori fairly sank into the ground, aghast, as Shinsou continued to explain, halting every so often to parse verbs and tenses.

“It's a cool way to learn vocabulary without reading textbooks. So, cool bird is a … music star, rockstar, and sometimes things go really wrong on his tours. Like one time a storm blew away all his instruments and he cried for a long time. But then his friends sold cookies and used the money to buy him new stuff. Sometimes they fight over stuff, problems, but they're all friends and help each other out, no matter what happens.”

“And ... Grumpy Cat? In English as well, please,” Toshinori added hurriedly, like he was a normal teacher asking for normal things.

“Grumpy Cat is my favorite. All he wants to do is sleep all the time,” Shinsou said with a cockeyed grin, looking over. “He's mean but nice? I don't know the word in English. [Tsundere, though, you know.] Yamada-sensei always says he's "no fun, no sir." We all say it, like a chant. Like Cool Bird is "too cool, ya dig?"

Shinsou shrugged.

“I dunno. It's a fun class. Better than modern literature.”

Beside him, Toshinori buried his head in his hands and stifled a cough that threatened to rip him in two through sheer disbelief. Eerie and inappropriate similarities of his characters aside, Yamada might be ruining an entire generation of children through his constant need of feedback and call and responses. Not to mention giving them wildly inappropriate expectations of interjections in English speaking countries. Did he dole out candy so indiscriminately to the Hero Studies children as well? It would explain so much ...

“But Grumpy Cat hasn't been around lately. He's sneaking off and all the other animals wonders --

“Are wondering,” Toshinori corrected him stiffly, automatic. “Or wonder. Third person plural, if you're still speaking in the present.”

“Present progressive,” Shinsou muttered after a moment of thought. “All the animals ... are wondering where he has been. Is that right?”

But Toshinori hardly heard him, right or wrong, over the din of panic in his own head, worst fears confirmed. A diary. Yamada-san was basically keeping a diary, and having his students translate it. Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, Yamada-san, no.

[adelaideattractions]

Bob's love affair that shocked Australia

The affair between Bob Hawke and Blanche dAlpuget was once the most scandalous in Australian political history, but it morphed into one of the nations greatest love stories. The public was outraged in 1991 when it emerged that the beloved, larrikin prime minster was leaving his wife of 38 years to marry a beautiful, blonde writer 14 years his junior, just four years after he had left office. The pair, it transpired, had been meeting for clandestine trysts for almost two decades. It triggered a media storm, with the press camping outside Ms dAlpugets home, chasing her down the street and publishing cartoons. But after the revelations about Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyces affair with staffer Vikki Campion superseded hers in infamy, the author told news.com.au it could have been far worse.

media_cameraThe revelation of Bob Hawke and Blanche dAlpugets 20-year affair scandalised Australia.

media_cameraWriter Ms dAlpuget paid tribute to the love of her life after he died aged 89. Picture: Supplied/Nine It would be a lot more brutal now, she told news.com.au last year. Its one of the reasons democracy is going down the gurgler everywhere. Its because good, strong people arent going into politics because of social media they dont want to get themselves and their families put through it. (These days) everybodys got a camera in their pocket. Politicians are now walking on eggshells the whole time ... there is a great puritanism thats fallen upon us. Last night, Mr Hawke died peacefully at home, aged 89, and Ms dAlpuget released a statement. Today we lost Bob Hawke, a great Australian many would say the greatest Australian of the post-war era ... Bob was dearly loved by his family, and so many friends and colleagues. We will miss him. Mr Hawke was first married in 1956 to Hazel Masterson, who he met while he was at university in Perth, and the couple had four children together Sue, Stephen, Rosslyn and Robert Jr, who died in childhood. RELATED: Bob Hawke predicted his own death RELATED: Former PMs death to impact federal election

media_cameraThe former prime minister married wife Hazel in 1956 after they met in Perth.

media_cameraThe couple of 38 years had four children together. Picture: Supplied Mrs Hawke was the steadfast wife who stood by her husband as he led the Australian Council of Trade Unions in the 1970s, entered Parliament and served as Prime Minister from 1983 to 1991. But the much-admired Labor leader had a long-held secret. In April 1970, the then-ACTU president met Ms dAlpuget at a party in Jakarta a moment that would change their lives forever. She was living in Indonesia with her new husband, diplomat Tony Pratt, who she was very keen on, she told Mamamias No Filter podcast last year. Six years on, with her marriage going down the drain, Ms dAlpuget interviewed Mr Hawke for a biography on arbitrator Sir Richard Kirby. The click was different, she said and at the time, affairs were par for the course. The pair embarked on an affair that would last almost 20 years, throughout Mr Hawkes Prime Ministership. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, things were a lot wilder than they are now, she said.

media_cameraIn 1976, Mr Hawke embarked on a passionate affair with journalist Ms dAlpuget.

media_cameraThe Australian Council of Trade Unions leader felt unable to pursue his love as he rose to power. But there was more. Ive been in love with Bob since 1976, she told news.com.au. I fell in love with his character. He was a man of absolutely good character, as far as I was concerned. He was clever and genuinely charismatic. Hes a man of enormous compassion, and I saw all of those things. She had been going through a storeroom filled with old photographs, and could immediately tell the difference between the ones taken while she was with Bob, and the ones that predated their relationship. For many years, I just didnt look happy, she said. But the times when I was with him? I was a happy woman. These last 25 years have been the happiest of my life. In the late 1970s, Ms d'Alpuget went through a period of intense despair and contemplated suicide and even stabbing her lover when Mr Hawke tried to refocus on his marriage as he worked towards becoming prime minister.

media_cameraHe became the longest-serving Labor prime minister. Picture: Fox Photos/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

media_cameraIt was only after he was replaced by Paul Keating that Mr Hawke felt able to divorce Mrs Hawke and marry Ms d'Alpuget. Picture: Richard Dobson I went through that dark night of the soul when we broke up, she told The Weekend Australian Magazine in 2017. And I came out the other side. I got over it. And then I really flung myself into writing, which is one of the great curative and healing processes. In 1978, after a vivid dream, the 49-year-old ACTU president asked the 34-year-old journalist to marry him in a Canberra hotel room. But a year later, as his campaign for a federal seat developed, he changed his mind. Divorce could cost Labor three per cent, he had fretted several times, back when this was an issue for us, she wrote in her 2008 book On Lust and Longing. As it turned out, he made the right decision: for himself, for me, for his family, for mine, for his party and, as became obvious, for the nation. Despite being deeply attracted to each other, madly in love, the pair resigned themselves to a sporadic love affair to the sake of the Labor MPs wife and the country, while Ms d'Alpuget worked on a biography. She said the book helped to persuade those who mattered to make him the leader of his party, from which point electoral success was assured, and her research helped him stop his problem drinking. Their relationship was an open secret, but neither she nor Mrs Hawke could tear themselves away from the charismatic leader. Each of us asked the other to leave, Ms d'Alpuget said. Neither of us did.

media_cameraThe scandal rocked Australia, with the public and Mr Hawkes children turning against the couple.

media_cameraBut their love has stood the test of time, and Ms d'Alpuget will one day be buried alongside her husband. Picture: Patrick Riviere/Getty Images He went on to the highest approval rating of any Australian PM in history: 75 per cent in November 1984. It is a level of popularity that is a far-off dream for current Labor leader and Australias possible next prime minister, Bill Shorten, who also left his ex-wife for a new bride after entering political life. The longest-serving Labor prime minister finally divorced his wife in 1995, four years after he was replaced by his deputy Paul Keating, following a freak accident that made him realise how much he needed to make his mistress his spouse. Ms dAlpuget was in a sea plane in far-north Queensland writing an article on the Great Barrier Reef when it crashed and the six passengers had to swim out of the window. As fuel poured out of the aircraft, a yachtsman picked them up in a dinghy and ferried them to Hamilton Island. The one phone call I made was to Go Between, the man who was (her and Mr Hawkes) secret contact, she told Mamamia. But he was a drama queen and he rang up Bob and said, Bob, Blanche has been in a plane crash, and he paused. Bob said in that moment he felt himself die. And then the man added, But shes all right. But it was just that instant; he knew then that, had I died, his life wouldnt have been worth living. At 64, the former Prime Minister announced his separation from his wife publicly, declared his love Ms d'Alpuget. Within two years, his divorce was finalised, and eight months later, he and Ms dAlpuget married in Sydney.

media_cameraA plane crash that almost killed his mistress convinced Mr Hawke he needed to be with the love of his life. Picture: Gregg Porteous

media_cameraThe affair hurt his family, but the former PMs children eventually came to be close to Ms d'Alpuget. Picture: Megan Slade It took an enormous amount of courage on Bobs part, she told The Australian. It took much more courage on his part than on mine. Because I was a single woman, divorced. But he was married. The whole country expected him to behave in this way and was unaware of what his true feelings were and so were bound to be shocked, angered and amazed when they discovered them. Mr Hawkes children were furious, and shunned their fathers new wife. But the relationship endured, and they are now close. Mrs Hawke died in 2013 from dementia-related complications, aged 83. Mr Hawke visited her before she died and formally apologised for the toll his affair had taken on the family after her death. I remember Hazel with deep affection and gratitude, he said in a statement. She was more than a wife and mother, being father as well during my frequent absences as I pursued an industrial then political career. In 2015, when the Labor leader nearly died of a stomach bug he picked up from the Middle East, and Ms d'Alpuget was by his side in the Sydney hospital. It was then that she picked out the place where they would one day lie together in a cemetery. The graves are side-by-side, she said. We chose a spot where the public can come. Itll be nice. Its in a rose garden and theres a seat there so if a member of the public wants to come and have a sit, they can. Originally published as Bobs love affair that shocked Australia https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/the-affair-that-scandalised-australia-bob-hawkes-20year-affair-with-blanche-dalpuget/news-story/cc4d90920d1fd2e1db2361ccd13d8d2b?from=htc_rss

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Dragon Ball Super Resurrection ‘F’ Arc REVIEW:

Previously on Dragon Ball Super. Goku pounded a pussy, for FIVE EPISODES STRAIGHT!

 Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome back to my multi part review/retrospective on every single arc of the anime series Dragon Ball Super. Last time we talked about Dragon Ball Super we talked about the of the "Battle of Gods" story arc. If you haven't read that review yet you might want to before preceding, that way you can know my thoughts on that arc before we talk about this arc. So the link is here if you are interested. Dragon Ball Super: Battle of Gods Arc REVIEW: Now let's talk about this arc and the history behind it.  Like Battle of Gods, this arc (titled the "Resurrection 'F'" if the title of this review didn't make that clear) is an adaptation of the film "Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection 'F'" which came out in 2015. Now if you remember last time, I mentioned that I loved the Battle of Gods movie, and thus, the arc had a lot to prove if it wanted to surpass the movie in quality. Which in the end it was not able to do, despite having some good moments here and there. However with Resurrection 'F' it's a bit of a different story. I thought that the movie was good, but nothing especially great. It had an interesting premise, some really good action scenes, and kept a lot of the fun and comedic tone that was so prevalent in "Battle of Gods." However, it also suffered from a lot of weird pacing issues, a lot of things not being very well explained, and a bit of a weak ending. I remember when I first watched the film I thought that "Yeah, this would probably be better as an arc rather than a film"  (Dragon Ball Super was already out in Japan by the time I got around to see the film for the record.) There could be room for an adaptation to expand upon things that where kinda brushed aside in the film version, so I was interested to see how the arc would deliver. Did it do just that? And is this arc and upgrade or a downgrade from the movie of which it is based? Well, let's dive in and find out.  Also, for the record I will be discussing mainly the dubbed version, not the subbed, just as I did with the Battle of Gods arc, and will be doing for all future Dragon Ball Super arcs. Just wanted to make sure that that was clear from the get go.  So the story begins not that long after the end of the Battle of Gods arc with Vegeta being mad that's he's been overshadowed by Goku for the like nine thousandth and first time. Determined to become stronger, he goes out to train when he finds out that Bulma has actually been having lunch dates with Beerus's assistant, Whis. Whis has been wanting to see more of Earth's food after the Battle of Gods arc, and since Beerus is asleep at the moment he has nothing better to do. Bulma's been showing him all of the food that Earth has to offer, that way if Beerus ever comes back to destroy the world again, Whis will have incentive to stop him. Vegeta questions what Whis's actual role is in the god hierarchy and Whis tells him that he is the one who actually taught Beerus how to fight, and thus is actually much more powerful than him. Impressed, Vegeta begs Whis to train him, so he can become stronger than Goku is. Whis agrees, but only if Vegeta can find him a tasty food that Bulma hasn't shown him before. This leads to a hilarious scene of Vegeta trying and failing to feed Whis a meal that will please him. And I do mean hilarious. Like, I know that a lot of Dragon Ball fans skipped to the post movie arcs, but please, if you are one of those people I highly recommend that you do yourself a favor an go watch episode 16 of Dragon Ball Super. It's one of the funniest episodes I've seen so far. Christopher Sabet has been voicing Vegeta for so long that he is absolutely perfect at pulling off the comedy in these comedic Vegeta scenes, and he has some great ab libs. Also just as the "Vegeta in a choo-choo train bit" justified the Battle of God's arc's existence for me Vegeta calling Bulma "babe" does the same for this arc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYjMn_FsIHY

 Eventually Vegeta is able to win Whis over by showing him the greatest food that humanity has ever created. Instant microwave ramen...apparently. Vegeta goes off with Whis to Beerus's planet to train and we get a six month time skip. Goku, who's been to busy with his new found farming job and his new role as a grandfather to Gohan's newly born daughter Pan, finds out that Vegeta's been out training without him and asks Bulma to get Whis to train him too, much to Chi-Chi's dismay. Goku, never one to miss out on an opportunity to abandon his loved ones, is able to convince Whis to train him too by just kinda bugging him a lot. Whis begins training Goku and Vegeta by having them do simple house chores Mr. Miyagi style. Though after Beerus wakes up from his slumber Whis tells Beerus that the reason he's training Goku and Vegeta isn't just because of the free food or to get out of housework, but because he's genuinely interested in seeing there true unlocked potential.  Oh, and also new outfits! Neat.  All the stuff that I've just mentioned are additions that the anime added. In the movie we just start with Goku and Vegeta on Whis planet training and get told how they ended up there. I greatly prefer this version of events more. In the movie, while Beerus and Whis where interested in seeing Goku become stronger, it still felt kinda weird how they where trying to kill Goku in one movie, and in the next movie they're just hanging out on there planet. I know Goku befriends his enemies a lot but it felt a little bit to...quick I guess? Here though it flows a lot better and provides some great comedy. Also it's great seeing Bulma being proactive and trying to stop another disaster before it begins by befriending Whis. To many characters in this show are reactive instead of proactive, and it's nice seeing Bulma being smart enough to plan for this kind of thing. Overall I would call all of this stuff a good expansion of the film.  Meanwhile out in deep space, we see a group of people that we haven't seen in a long time. The Frieza Force. That's right, turns out that they're still around. Which makes sense I guess, considering the fact that after our heroes defeated there leader they kinda just sort of forgot about the rest of them. We learn that the Frieza Force has been falling into disarray ever since Frieza died. Sorbert, the new leader of the Frieza force, along with his second in command Tagoma decide that they have no chose but to go to Earth and find the dragon balls in order to bring Frieza back to life and restore there empire back to it's former glory.  The Frieza Force arrive on Earth to discover that the now children Pilaf Gang have already been collecting the dragon balls so they can wish for world domination. Geez, you'd think the Z fighters would frickin' collect these balls the moment they become activated, even if they don't intend to use them. Two separate groups of villains nearly collected all of them without the good guys even noticing. Sorbert makes them hand over the balls and they wish for Frieza to come back to life. But not before we the audience see what Frieza's been doing in hell for all of this time.

Oh my God, this is all of my yes.  Unfortunately for them, Shenron can not rebuild Frieza's body. But only bring back the still alive pieces. So are you frickin' telling me that even after Future Trunks cut Frieza into a billion pieces it was still the energy blast that killed him? I'm going to have to call bull on that good sir!  However, luckily for the villains they can still reform Frieza's body using an upgrades version of there healing chambers. They leave as quickly as they came and not long after Frieza is back!...Again.

Man, Frieza is kinda like the Ganondorf of DBZ, isn't he?  Speaking of which, let's talk about Frieza for a minute. Frieza is cool. I know many people say he's over played, (which he totally is.) but that doesn't take away from the fact that, on a fundamental level, Frieza is just really frickin' cool. From his sadistic but also flowery mannerism, his threatening but also quite unassuming design, to his role in the story that from a narrative perspective makes him the ultimate antithesis to both Goku and Vegeta, Frieza is just cool. And that's not even to mention the voice performance that's masterfully crafted by Chris Ayres. Frieza, in my opinion at least, is the best Dragon Ball Z villain. He was able to come off as extremely powerful, and unlike Cell or Buu he was able to enter the series RIGHT before power of all of the characters became so unbelievably powerful that the concept of power started to be to high to hold any substantial weight. Or at least, that's my opinion. So while many people where annoyed to see a villain rehashed I wasn't super against it. I know that technically, from a story perspective, yes it's kinda dumb to bring Frieza back. They're no points, we've done all of this before. But when you see Frieza come out of that healing chamber, as the ominous music builds, it's hard for me to not feel hyped to see one of the greatest cartoon bad guys come back to settle the score. So I am kinda torn on this. My brain is saying no, but my heart is saying yes. You know what I mean?

Oh my God, it's so cool!  So once Frieza is brought back, he immediately decides that he wants revenge. Though after hearing that Goku's become strong enough to take on Majin Buu, Frieza decides that it would be best to train for four months first. Frieza, being a naturally gifted fighter from birth, has never trained before. He believes that if he we're to actually apply himself he would be able become so stronger and break through his limit's just like Goku did. We also get into another film vs anime difference here. In both versions Tagoma suggests to Frieza to not focus on petty revenge and focus on rebuilding his empire. In the movie Frieza kills Tagoma for suggesting that, but in the series he just mutilates him. Frieza then says that Tagoma will be his training partner as punishment.  In the movie we never really learn what Frieza's training is. Here we get to see it very briefly. (Too briefly if you ask me.) Basically Frieza spent four months beating Tagoma to near death everyday, then put him in the healing chamber so he could do it again the next day. This not only made Frieza stronger but Tagoma too. And Tagoma under this torture kinda goes a bit nuts. Learning from Frieza that the only way to true power is by embarrassing pure sadism and ruthlessness. It's interesting to see, especially since in the film Tagoma is pretty much just there to be killed by Frieza. It's an interesting change. Though I do question how beating up someone that much weaker than him helped Frieza get so strong so fast. Or how being beaten helped Tagoma. But hey, this is Dragon Ball we're talking about. Peoples power depends completely on what's convenient in the moment, especially in Super!  We also see some of Goku and Vegeta's training with Whis. We get a glimpse of some energy that they seem to be locking into.

Hey look, foreshadowing! That's something that wasn't in the film version!    Whis tells the two of them that if they want to become strong enough to defeat Berrus they need to overcome there flaws. Goku needs to stop being so overly confidence and Vegeta need to stop overthinking things. Wait, isn't Vegeta's whole thing that he doesn't think things through? Like when he let Cell reach his perfect form or when he let Babidi brain wash him? Both things that nearly lead to the destruction of the Earth? Yeah, I'm not the only one thinking this, right? But whatever, regardless Whis tells that they the biggest thing they need to do is learn to work together. Whis decides to throw them both in a pocket dimension so they can learn how to internalize there ki, because Whis is kinda a dick.  Oh, a Whis also foreshadows the fact that he can rewind time. I'm sure that won't be at all relevant later on...  Four months past and Frieza is ready to invade the Earth. However, luckily for our heroes Bulma get's a warning about this upcoming invasion by none other than...Jaco! What's that? You don't know who Jaco is? It's Jaco! Y'know, the main character of Akira Toriyama's 2013 short run manga series "Jaco the Galactic Patrolman." that, in the final chapter, was revealed to actually be set in the Dragon Ball universe. This manga was not very well know before Jaco was introduced in Super and the Resurrection 'F' movie, and hasn't seen any form of english translation as of the time of me writing this review, but don't worry, they don't bother explaining who he is or how he knows Bulma for any newcomers. And if they don't have to explain it than why should I, right? Moving on!    With Jaco's warning Bulma tries to contact Whis by using a strawberry sundae, by alas it doesn't work. So Bulma has no choice but to get all the other fighters that she can. Piccolo! Gohan! Krillin...Tien...Master Roshi for some reason....    Yay?    They tried to get Buu as well, but he was asleep. I'm sure that this won't become a trend or anything!  Frieza lands on Earth with his army of a thousand men. And in typical Dragon Ball fashion it's up for all of the lamer heroes to stall the minions while we wait for Goku and Vegeta to show up. The battle begins and honestly, it's a lot less cool than it is in the movie. Not just because of the animation downgrade, which is inevitable, but also just because a lot less time is devoted to it in general. Also in the movie we see Jaco fighting along side the other Z fighters, and it's really cool. However, in this we just see him sneak attack like one or two guys. I don't like this, why take away some of the awesome Jaco moments? Still though, it still is pretty cool to see a six on one thousand battle with the six managing to pull in a win. That's still pretty frickin' epic.  However, a plus the series does have is, as mentioned before, Tagoma, who proves to be quite the formidable and sadistic foe, being able to give even Piccolo the run around. This is actually really cool and Tagoma's English voice actor Micah Solusod. He does a good job adding a lot to an overall not super well developed character. However, Tagoma's reign of terror is cut short when Gotanks shows up (Also an addition the series makes.) and pretty much one shots him. While I do like how Gotanks is added, as Goten and Trunks really don't get to be in much of the action in Super in general, it is a bit lame that Tagoma only get's one episode to really do anything of note. Feel's like there was more that could be done with him.  However in another interesting twist, a certain alien frog shows up, and if you're a long time DBZ fan you'll know what I mean. Captain Ginyu, trapped in a frog's body for all of this time, shows up and uses his body switching powers on Tagoma and steals his body. Ginyu is back in all of his flamboyant glory! And yes, while I do wish we got a bit more time with Tagoma as Tagoma, this isn't that bad of a trade off.

In a scene that was in the film briefly, but very much expanded upon in the series we see Gohan showing mercy to the Frieza soilders by not killing any of them. This mercy enrages Frieza, as it reminds him of the mercy that Goku gave him back in the Namek saga. We get this really creepy scene of Frieza just decimating Gohan, as Gohan has become a lot less powerful since Z due to him focusing less on training and more on his job and family. Frieza beats him easily and starts torturing him to the full extent that a show that is aimed at Japanese children can allow. Frieza is about to finish the job, but right as he fires the blast Piccolo get's in the way and sacrifices himself in order to save Gohan, just like he did in the Saiyan saga. Gohan is forced to lie on the ground, seeing that despite all the time that has pasted nothing has really changed. He's still forced to rely on Piccolo and Goku to protect him, and he is helpless to stop Frieza from destroying his planet, and by extension his friends and family. It's a really powerful scene in my personal opinion, as it gives Gohan a lot of character development and shows Frieza at his most ruthless.    Whis finally get's Bulma's message and picks up and Goku and Vegeta find out about what's going down on Earth. However, it'll take them at least thirty minutes to get to Earth if they travel with Beerus and Whis, and Goku can't teleport to Earth because he can't lock on to anyone's power over such a long distance. That is until Gohan uses all the energy he has left to power up as much as he can, making an energy signal powerful enough for Goku to detect it and Goku and Vegeta teleport to Earth, with Beerus and Whis following shortly behind.  And then Vegeta kills Ginyu. Geez, first Tagoma now Ginyu. Why does this arc keep introducing all these cool ideas only to get's rid of them after only half an episode! This isn't Adventure Time!

Well...I guess you could that that Ginyu...Croaked? (...I'll go home.)  With Tagoma a frog and Ginyu dead it's time for Frieza to get out of his chair and take matters into his own hands. He powers up and in the process kills all of his men except for Sorbet by accident. Though Frieza is not bothered by this, as he believes that men that weak have no right to serve as his army.  ...Y'know Frieza, maybe killing all of your men just to show how evil you are is a bad idea. Like, what if you lose and they're nobody left to revive you? Y'know, like what totally ends up happening...  Goku and Vegeta argue over who get's to fight first and decide with a game of rock-paper-scissors, which Goku wins. Goku and Frieza begin to fight for a bit, and sadly like the Battle of God arc this is where the animation starts to go down in quality. Though luckily it's nothing that's to noticeable. The two go back and forth for a while until Vegeta get's board and demands to fight instead. This leads to Goku and Vegeta actually fighting each other for a bit and honestly this leads to a big flaw this fight has in both versions. There is a sever lack of tension. Goku and Vegeta are taking turns fighting, and honestly treating this more like a game than an actual threat. There's never a feeling of tension because whenever Goku is on the ropes where reminded that Vegeta is just off to the corner standing there, ready to jump in if anything goes really wrong. Coupled with Whis time reversing technique that was foreshadowed so obviously that we know that it's coming, it really results in the biggest problem that I think I have with the entire fight.  Goku pulls a fast one on Frieza by revealing that he too has a final form, in the form of Super Saiyan Blue! It's like a normal Super Saiyan, but blue! Ooooooh! In all seriousness though it is a bit different. Remember that training that Goku and Vegeta did in the other dimension to focus on internalizing there energy. Well that's what Super Saiyan Blue is. It keeps all the energy inside them, making sure not to waste in unnecessarily. So no power ups that destroy mountains and no hours of screaming, it much more zen. And interesting change of paste from what we are use to.  The design is cool, and I do like how it is different from some of the other forms, but in a lot of ways this form feels very unnecessarily. We JUST got Super Saiyan God in the last arc, and they made a big deal about getting it. And now it's just replaced by a new form that got only the tiniest bit of foreshadowing before hand. It honestly feels like something they threw into the movie just to make sure that people would see it, and they had to add it into Super as a result of that.  But Frieza has a trump card, a new form! It's his final final form! Called Golden Frieza, a form he modeled after the Super Saiyan form, as a form of ironic mockery. Also, I guess Frieza can chose what his forms look like? Then how come Frost's forms look pretty much the same in the next arc? The forms design is...okay. I don't know normally gold and purple look really good together, but I dunno, it looks a bit gaudy to me personally. Though it's nothing awful or anything.

Oh, and Beerus and Whis show up. They eat ice cream. Yay.  Frieza and Goku punch for a bit. While not awful or anything it does pale in comparison to the film version and especially the Goku vs Frieza fight in Z. I know that comparison might come off as a bit unfair but it's hard not to compare them when it's literally the same match. The original Goku vs Frieza fight is considered one of the greatest fight scenes in anime history by many, and this arc trying to recreate it in a nostalgic way was always distended to be a losing battle. Also while the Battle of Gods arc had the problem of making the Goku/Berrus fight to long, this arc has the opposite problem with the fight being to short. The fight is divided into three parts: Base Goku vs Base Frieza, Blue Goku vs Golden Frieza, and Blue Vegeta vs Golden Frieza. Each of these phases last only one episode. Three episodes is awfully short, especially considering that the original Goku Frieza fight was nineteen episodes, and that's not counting the Frieza fight with the other Z fighters before that. I'm not saying it has to be that long, that would be just plain awful, but something a bit more might of been nice. I should of at least been about as long as the Goku/Berrus fight at least. It's frickin Frieza for God's sake.  Goku has Frieza on the ropes, and in typical Goku fashion offers Frieza a chance to leave and be sparred. He powers down from Blue (Which is a change from the movie.) and then get's shot through the chest by Sorbet from behind. Goku got over confident, just like Whis warns. Frieza begins to torture the barely alive Goku and Vegeta steps in, kills Sorbet, and get's Goku away so he can be healed.    It's now Vegeta's turn to fight. Vegeta turns Super Saiyan Blue as well and we learn of Frieza's great weakness. The moment he unlocked his form he went to Earth, and didn't bother spending any time mastering his form. So the form suffers from Stamina issues and will not last that long. However it seems a bit weird, because they way that it implies that Vegeta and Goku have master Super Saiyan Blue for a while now, but they just learned about holding in there energy earlier that day. But they keep things so vague and explain Super Saiyan Blue so badly that it's left open enough I guess...?  Vegeta and Frieza continue to fight until Frieza is left completely drained. Vegeta is about to finish Frieza off for good. But Frieza, in the Dragon Ball equivalent of throwing a board game off a table when you're about to lose, punches the ground and blows up the planet, in a pretty actually emotional sequence all things considered.

Oh, right. I forgot he could do that.  However, before the planet explodes Beerus and Whis make a bubble that protects pretty much everyone there except for Vegeta from the blast. Oh boy, if only there was some kind of Chekhov's gun we could use in this situation. So yeah, Whis uses the time rewind ability, however we learn that his ability t rewind time only goes back three minutes. He tell's Goku to take the situation seriously this time and not be cocky. And so Goku does, using a Kamehameha to finish Frieza of for good. ... ... ...  For good.  Piccolo is brought back to life OFF SCREEN! (Yeah, that's seriously how little death matters at this point.) Gohan decides to go back to training with Piccolo that way next time something like this happens he can be prepared to protect his love ones. This is another Super addition and I honestly like what it does for Gohan's character. (To bad it'll be another sixty one episodes before we see any of this come to fruition- The arc ends with Goku explaining what happened to Vegeta, and they ponder what they could accomplish if they actually followed Whis's instructions and work together. However, neither of them seem interested in doing that and Goku laughs it off. Yay! Nothing was learned!  Overall the ending in the arc is the same as the movie, except a bit more gravity was given to the planet destruction scene. Overall the ending still leaves a lot to be desired in my personal opinion. What I would have done differently to fix the ending? i would of had the Earth stay exploded, and THAT'S what leads into the next arc. That could be the reason why our heroes are trying to find the super dragon balls, and that could be why they enter the Champa's tournament. Obviously you would have to change some stuff around since two of the all of the fighters in the Champa tournament minus Goku and Monaka would be dead, but you could do it. I dunno, maybe it wouldn't work, but I think it would of made both arcs carry a lot more weight emotionally.  But wait, that wasn't even my final thoughts! So is this arc better than the movie? Well, like the Battle of Gods arc it depends on what you're looking for. The movies a lot shorter and has a lot better animation and action scenes. However, I'm going to disagree with ninety nine percent of the Dragon Ball fandom here when I say that I think I like the Super arc more, which is weird cause I was not expecting to. I feel that while a lot of the flaws of the movies are still present, this arc adds enough new concepts that makes it better than the film over all. I like seeing how Goku and Vegeta got to train with Whis. I like seeing Tagoma and Ginyu. I like seeing Gohan get some character growth. And I like seeing Frieza just do his thing. It's great to watch, no matter how much of a marketing stunt it is! Is the arc perfect? No, like I said the animation is a lot worse, Jaco is given a much less badass role, and it's a good bit longer. But I think that, overall, I liked this version better. Though it'll be up to your own personal preference to decide which version is better for you to watch.  I think part of the reason most Dragon Ball fans hate this arc so much is because it came out right after the movies release. We were burnt out on the story, still upset over the major flaws, and wanted to get to the new stuff. I think those factors may have influenced some peoples opinion on the arc itself. However me, seeing the arc over a year after watching the movie for the first time, I can say that I like it more.  But that's just my opinion. I would love to know yours. What did you think of the Dragon Ball Super: Resurrection 'F' arc? Do you prefer the series or the movie's interpretation? Leave your thoughts down bellow, I would love to know you're opinion, even if it doesn't necessarily match mine. I would love to start a discussion! Also sorry about getting this review out so many weeks after the arc ended on TV. I try to get these Super reviews out as the arc air on Toonami, but sometimes life get's in the way. Anyway, please fav, follow, and comment down bellow if you liked the review or if you have any suggestions for something else for me to review. If it sounds interesting I might just do it. Have a great day.

(I do not own any of the images or videos in this review. All credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Dragon-Ball-Super-Resurrection-F-Arc-REVIEW-705109337 DA Link

[glopratchet]

astryl-wondering

of astryl wylde, with an axe in hand, he begins to cut his way through the tent until he reaches a man with long black hair and piercing eyes and you can see that he has been transformed into a succubus by the hands of the journalist in an awful grin paired up with a toothy hissing but of course astryl is more than satisfied don't forget because hes a succubus a palace compared the rest of astokah's camp which is pretty awful red and orange as you would expect, it's not just that its headquarters for astokahn's rebellion but also astryl succubus activity and act as great examples of mass hysteria and the nature of astokahn: You see a painting which shows the creature described to you before: the succub not gone, just replaced by the lab again The tentacles waving around are now wet with It's lying on a metal, dissection table He heres the voice of the succubus and the incubus sing in his mind One high, one low He ignores the voice like he always does They call him all the time He never listens but, if he did You stare at a piece of newspaper from five years ago, smack dab in the center You can sense a group soon Something moves in the corner of his eye he checks it with his camera He pans over a burnt teddy bear, lying on the floor It looks almost brand new he looks through the footage again Something, amidst the static, moves slightly in the middle of the far left hallway dave begins to regret his selfish decisions and pines for the succubi to fuse into a lovely woman that he can mate with and live a normal life without threats who doesn't notice or at least doesn't respond Scanning the room from left to right the succubus finally notices astryl but still unknown to a man named irmcip who is a key supporter of the movement His hand presses down on the bear That moment, he thinks back to his college years Especially music a calloused hand slams down on the bear's head and nothing seems out of the ordinary that has majority of the camp in a lockdown Nothing unusual once again Hey, It seems like things that don't happen are being blocked more now 's databanks The technical er are trying to take measures They are definitely tricky to catch Except when they finally catch wind of being chased by these odd, One attempt nearly caused a system reset The program is instated unknown on what purpose It states irmcip the rest is a fat list of unknowns and corrupted entries The first thing cludstrum notices is that most of the names on the page are most likely dman, unrecognizable, or various other s that are unidentifiable Other than old hangups clapping each other on the backs for winsome trumpet licks the only sound is that of without doing any damaged so they may need a processor to play instead with less then a 25% humidity making geomagnetic levels of if they decide to make homeis here It seems the other bands havent given this a thought and just bring large pieces of electronics When the jixel ersp dont wory the drives will wait but appears to be executing a play by play of an unknown opera Mirror display time lapse converters will have to do a large sweep of the but cannot seem to introspect much further as the He debates if he should go see how the score is playing out anytime now finally, the band stops dead in their tracks The displays of the clock at various places in his media bank all say they are permanently stuck at 4: the fix He cannot begin Sudddenly all the melted bits of the books have been pushed out and a new order is leading everything Running countless tests on the projector shows one thing and cylopiean anglyk's son and daughter Each time he eats something from a machine the numbers will change randomly on the screen eggs, bags of chips, bananas, gold and aluminum As he fixes the bugs the trade-ins are lost The work Only pre-ets are mentioned in test menus 's room he finds He is pretty sure that there is nothing poisonous in the decayed pile he is surrounded by It probably will not degrade any of the debris in his mouth He pulls colors out of the things he imbies into his skull usually it changes the color and there appear to get very hot Most flavors are useable for trade-ins but astyrl finds certain ones to be just wrong Considering his new beliefs all fresh food makes him sick so he just went back to mindlessly trading off objects in his scape or drink here anyway jelly and corn cobbettes he thinks but save on the volume of liquid he might have to All the fresh food looks so inviting It is probably sound bytes of the practice crowd cheering that are begging him to eat these things being tempted by fresh foods there is also some talk about a basic corn cob trade this planet His final ending is one of protecting all life from cludstrum himself! the war torn city of Newyork The whole place got really destroyed and they have not even refillied the places with impliments of war the desert Oasis When approaching it the oasis lights up and makes a loud noise "what do you want out of life kid? the russian gulag it just looks like a big mansion and the scary part is that russians can wear bullet proof clothing the sounds of the night spring to life "Times up, the NEW world order begins now! cluldrum will start the end of the world It is up to you to stop it! -"wait, I explored a corn-field? The hummmmm of multiple machines of unknown intent To the west dark-skinned creatures lighting a signal fire arms breaks his fall from the snap decision to somersault off of the bridge into the large black piles of debris, This crumpled and sharp metal scape was once towering skyscrapers Look for hazards! Melt into the surroundings! camouflage- dark colors with dark backround periodically between the wind and exhaustion It looks like a glowing space station that fell to earth your brain as you start to see double vision! The rumbling of multiple creature movements on the other side into the fetal position "You are joking me "Breathing coarse in is face in complete darkness your distant impotent blowing out your flickering candlelight! You are standing just outside the ten radius of pitch black up in a pile of smoldering dead bodies Going back to the tent might be a good option the tent with a bone chilling howl The Sun is trying to peak through the giant dusty clouds but they refuse to budge to starve himself warner brothers releasing the "Helicopter sequence" cartoon the seven-year locusts arrive at your campsite! fast-food free elite "butterfly" robots to ; (un)wash your windows, clean, do chores Wake up creep! on the test monkey The massacred slave's head is detached inventing warrning! Kludstrm foul monkey graffiti is scaring away customers himself from the heat the temperature plummets! flowering "Coca-Cola" trees raining delicious caffeine from heaven you try to sleep! and tracking an exited feral cat the brutal smelling invaders advance! Mckinley overpriced and double bagging it they suck! messages into the dusty ground astrly mocking your moral views, beliefs, and goals A mixture of nightmare creatures beats and claws at your brain peta-vandal video feed warning! Four horsemen of the apocalypse dumping phosgene gas on civilian's below a crusade to foreign lands and forcing conversion The united civil assistance unions begin assaults at your authority the lives of those you've already sentenced to death Quick, create a social-based hierarchy ! Objections? Excuse me sir? the torn out portion of this tent mckinley coward hiding behind the law that you created for him off the bottom of this tent The top of the tent is rip open releasing the internal air pressure while fiddling with tweezers they just stole David's stone! Kludstrm obvious creating permanent wall that no one can cross spectacular as she bit into a bloody chunk of your heart You try to create something stunningly beautiful with common, and unnoticed items your eyes to see the truth about Kludstrm leather in the sun Wow! The acid sure has given Astryl a scarily slender figure your own content on the web! Screaming loud enough makes Kludstrm go away! enemies and exits look at Kludstrrmtmcidotmyebiemamehtselrihepgufhhh's comments 5 minutes later You now fear Astryl! There's no turning back this time you of incoming flesh-eating murderers your weird brain you hear Kludstrm's voice coming out of your mouth ammo exploding bullets sabotage! Astryl loco plotting against you mutating peanuts You wake up gasping for air you with the tent ! His eyes are now two black abysses peering deep into your soul The tent collapses under its own weight terrorists with laser lights With all your force, you crash an empty bottle over his head on bones you found outside The air around Kludstrm shimmers And he's gone! your subscriber's money on booze and wenches Desperate, you try to rip the wood walls out of the ground and bash in your own brains the storms coming from the west your heartbeat to a beat You can't stop staring at the inverted moon their favorite tune You play thes most terrible song in the world! klatu barada niktu! to make way for the dark The following program is not suitable for children, or adults of loose moral standing! Expect the unexpected Underground reporter SV7 broadcasting "live" as usual The northern dwarf plains fell yesterday to unknown attackers GalapadeparfwaatyzonebattlegroundDDDDD! The city of beauteous stranger's circus GalapadeparfwaatyzonecongressSSSSSS! Threatlevel increase in sector 7G! GalapadeparfwaatyzonecommitteeLLLLLL! The city of beetriot glass fragile average humidity 73% windspeed 17 knots storm approaching from the west visibility 3 miles UV level: unendurable Galapadeparfwaatyzoneincominghostilities! The city of beetriot reptilian incredible external temperature: atmosphere made up of 9% oxygen and 12% pollution

[gyrlversion]

Stephen Hawkings nurse, 61, of 8 years is struck off

Stephen Hawking was one of the world’s most acclaimed cosmologists, a medical miracle, and probably the galaxy’s most unlikely superstar celebrity.

After being diagnosed with a rare form of motor neurone disease in 1964 at the age of 22, he was given just a few years to live.

Yet against all odds Professor Hawking celebrated his 70th birthday nearly half a century later as one of the most brilliant and famous scientists of the modern age.

Despite being wheelchair-bound, almost completely paralysed and unable to speak except through his trademark voice synthesiser, he wrote a plethora of scientific papers that earned him comparisons with Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton.

At the same time he embraced popular culture with enthusiasm and humour, appearing in TV cartoon The Simpsons, starring in Star Trek and providing the voice-over for a British Telecom commercial that was later sampled on rock band Pink Floyd’s The Division Bell album.

His rise to fame and relationship with his first wife, Jane, was dramatised in a 2014 film, The Theory Of Everything, in which Eddie Redmayne put in an Oscar-winning performance as the physicist battling with a devastating illness.

He was best known for his work on black holes, the mysterious infinitely dense regions of compressed matter where the normal laws of physics break down, which dominated the whole of his academic life.

Hawking is pictured with his  children Robert, Lucy & Tim and his first wife Jane 

Prof Hawking’s crowning achievement was his prediction in the 1970s that black holes can emit energy, despite the classical view that nothing – not even light – can escape their gravity.

Hawking Radiation, based on mathematical concepts arising from quantum mechanics, the branch of science that deals with the weird world of sub-atomic particles, eventually causes black holes to ‘evaporate’ and vanish, according to the theory.

Had the existence of Hawking Radiation been proved by astronomers or physicists, it would almost certainly have earned Prof Hawking a Nobel Prize. As it turned out, the greatest scientific accolade eluded him until the time of this death.

Born in Oxford on January 8 1942 – 300 years after the death of astronomer Galileo Galilei – Prof Hawking grew up in St Albans.

He had a difficult time at the local public school and was persecuted as a ‘swot’ who was more interested in jazz, classical music and debating than sport and pop.

Although not top of the class, he was good at maths and ‘chaotically enthusiastic in chemistry’.

As an undergraduate at Oxford, the young Hawking was so good at physics that he got through with little effort.

He later calculated that his work there ‘amounted to an average of just an hour a day’ and commented: ‘I’m not proud of this lack of work, I’m just describing my attitude at the time, which I shared with most of my fellow students.

‘You were supposed to be brilliant without effort, or to accept your limitations and get a fourth-class degree.’

Hawking got a first and went to Cambridge to begin work on his PhD, but already he was beginning to experience early symptoms of his illness.

During his last year at Oxford he became clumsy, and twice fell over for no apparent reason. Shortly after his 21st birthday he went for tests, and at 22 he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease.

The news came as an enormous shock that for a time plunged the budding academic into deep despair. But he was rescued by an old friend, Jane Wilde, who went on to become his first wife, giving him a family with three children.

After a painful period coming to terms with his condition, Prof Hawking threw himself into his work.

At one Royal Society meeting, the still-unknown Hawking interrupted a lecture by renowned astrophysicist Sir Fred Hoyle, then at the pinnacle of his career, to inform him that he had made a mistake.

An irritated Sir Fred asked how Hawking presumed to know that his calculations were wrong. Hawking replied: ‘Because I’ve worked them out in my head.’

Eddie Redmayne won a Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Hawking in 2014 

In the 1980s, Prof Hawking and Professor Jim Hartle, from the University of California at Santa Barbara, proposed a model of the universe which had no boundaries in space or time.

The concept was described in his best-selling popular science book A Brief History Of Time, published in 1988, which sold 25 million copies worldwide.

As well as razor sharp intellect, Prof Hawking also possessed an almost child-like sense of fun, which helped to endear him to members of the public.

He booked a seat on Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic sub-orbital space plane and rehearsed for the trip by floating inside a steep-diving Nasa aircraft – dubbed the ‘vomit comet’ – used to simulate weightlessness.

On one wall of his office at Cambridge University was a clock depicting Homer Simpson, whose theory of a ‘doughnut-shaped universe’ he threatened to steal in an episode of the cartoon show. He is said to have glared at the clock whenever a visitor was late.

From 1979 to 2009 he was Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the university – a post once held by Sir Isaac Newton. He went on to become director of research in the university’s Department of Applied Mathematics and Theoretical Physics.

Upheaval in his personal life also hit the headlines, and in February 1990 he left Jane, his wife of 25 years, to set up home with one of his nurses, Elaine Mason. The couple married in September 1995 but divorced in 2006.

Throughout his career Prof Hawking was showered with honorary degrees, medals, awards and prizes, and in 1982 he was made a CBE.

But he also ruffled a few feathers within the scientific establishment with far-fetched statements about the existence of extraterrestrials, time travel, and the creation of humans through genetic engineering.

He has also predicted the end of humanity, due to global warming, a new killer virus, or the impact of a large comet.

In 2015 he teamed up with Russian billionaire Yuri Milner who has launched a series of projects aimed at finding evidence of alien life.

Hawking and his new bride Elaine Mason pose for pictures after the blessing of their wedding at St. Barnabus Church September 16, 1995

The decade-long Breakthrough Listen initiative aims to step up the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (Seti) by listening out for alien signals with more sensitivity than ever before.

The even bolder Starshot Initiative, announced in 2016, envisages sending tiny light-propelled robot space craft on a 20-year voyage to the Alpha Centauri star system.

Meanwhile Prof Hawking’s ‘serious’ work continued, focusing on the thorny question of what happens to all the information that disappears into a black hole. One of the fundamental tenets of physics is that information data can never be completely erased from the universe.

A paper co-authored by Prof Hawking and published online in Physical Review Letters in June 2016 suggests that even after a black hole has evaporated, the information it consumed during its life remains in a fuzzy ‘halo’ – but not necessarily in the proper order.

Prof Hawking outlined his theories about black holes in a series of Reith Lectures broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in January and February 2016.

 Press Association

The post Stephen Hawkings nurse, 61, of 8 years is struck off appeared first on Gyrlversion.

from WordPress https://www.gyrlversion.net/stephen-hawkings-nurse-61-of-8-years-is-struck-off/

[latesthollywoodnews]

Beyonce SHOWS OFF Twins During OTRII Tour... But They're NOT Rumi & Sir?

Beyonce SHOWS OFF Twins During OTRII Tour... But They're NOT Rumi & Sir?

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

Beyonce SHOWS OFF Twins During OTRII Tour… But They’re NOT Rumi & Sir?, Hollywood Celebrity Club.

Top Rated Celebrities and Most Popular Celebrities, Hollywood Celebrity News 2019, Beyonce SHOWS OFF Twins During OTRII Tour… But They’re NOT Rumi & Sir?.

Hollywood Celebrities 2015 Celebrities Latest Story or Walt Hollywood Animation Studios headquartered at the Walt Hollywood Studios in Burbank, California, is an American animation studio that creates animated feature films, short films, and television specials for The Walt Hollywood Company. Founded on October 16, 1923, it is a division of The Walt Hollywood Studios. The studio has produced 56 feature films, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) to Moana (2016).

Who was Roy to Walt Hollywood?

Roy O. Hollywood. Roy Oliver Hollywood (June 24, 1893 – December 20, 1971) was an American businessman, becoming the partner and co-founder, along with his younger brother Walt Hollywood, of Walt Hollywood Productions, since renamed The Walt Hollywood Company.

What is the story of Sleeping Beauty?

Filled with jealousy, the evil witch Maleficent (Eleanor Audley) curses Princess Aurora (Mary Costa) to die on her 16th birthday. Thanks to Aurora’s guardian fairies (Verna Felton, Barbara Jo Allen, Barbara Luddy), she only falls into a deep sleep that can be ended with a kiss from her betrothed, Prince Phillip (Bill Shirley). To prevent Phillip from rescuing Aurora, Maleficent kidnaps and imprisons him. The good fairies are the last hope to free Phillip so that he can awaken Aurora.

Why was Hollywoodland created?

With limited finances, Walt had to find affordable land. It was also important that his park be located near a major highway. In August of 1953, Hollywood and his partners selected a 160-acre orange grove in Anaheim, California to be the site of Hollywoodland. The construction of Hollywoodland began during the summer of 1954.

More Celebrity News ►►

Beyonce and Jay-Z show off twins during OTRII, but UMM they’re NOT Rumi and Sir!

Why would they do this to us?!

Beyonce and Jay-Z have been pretty private on the twin front. The only image we have of twin babies Rumi and Sir Carter was eleven months ago in a beautiful styled shot on Instagram. Last night Bey and Jay kicked off their stadium tour in Cardiff, Wales and many thought we had received our second glimpse of their precious twins. The beginning of the show included a video of Beyonce holding two babies in her arms and a photo of Jay Z cradling the same babies as well. Naturally, fans FREAKED at the sight of what they thought were Rumi and Sir. But not so fast. Beyonce’s rep confirmed that this video and image are NOT Rumi and Sir.

But all is not lost here. PEOPLE is reporting that Beyonce and Jay Z may have renewed their wedding vows. The couple marked their 10 year anniversary in April this year, and in a video at the END of OTRII they are seen in a ceremony wearing all-white attire. (Video credit to @missjournalism) 6-year-old Blue Ivy is attendance and it appears the real Rumi and Sir make a cameo too! A PEOPLE source confirmed, “At the end of the show the Carter babies were included in a family collage [however] the babies in the film clip at the beginning were not their children.” We’ll take it. Knowing that Bey and Jay renewed their vows with their entire family present just gives us all the feels. We’ll take a couple non-twins at the beginning of the show for this sweet glimpse into their new lives with the real Rumi and Sir.

What do you guys think of Beyonce and Jay-Z confusing us with different sets of twins during OTRII? The big question now is- WHO are those other babies?! Tell us below your reaction to this news, and we’ll be sure to keep you updated as news is revealed. Now check out a new episode of SWAPPED where Sinead and Erin switch lives! As always I’m your host Naz Perez, thanks for tuning in to Clevver.

For More Clevver Visit: There are 2 types of people: those who follow us on Facebook and those who are missing out

Keep up with us on Instagram: Follow us on Twitter: Website:

Add us to your circles on Google+: Tweet Me:

Hollywood Celebrity News, New Celebrities Latest Story, English Celebrities, Beyonce SHOWS OFF Twins During OTRII Tour… But They’re NOT Rumi & Sir?.

Walt Hollywood created a short film entitled Alice’s Wonderland, which featured child actress Virginia Davis interacting with animated characters. After the bankruptcy in 1923 of his previous firm, Laugh-O-Gram Studios, Hollywood moved to Hollywood to join his brother, Roy O. Hollywood. Film distributor Margaret J. Winkler of M.J. Winkler Productions contacted Hollywood with plans to distribute a whole series of Alice Comedies purchased for $1,500 per reel with Hollywood as a production partner. Walt and Roy Hollywood formed Hollywood Brothers Cartoon Studio that same year. More animated films followed after Alice. In January 1926, with the completion of the Hollywood studio on Hyperion Street, the Hollywood Brothers Studio’s name was changed to the Walt Hollywood Studio. Hollywood Celebrities Watch Online, Beyonce SHOWS OFF Twins During OTRII Tour… But They’re NOT Rumi & Sir?.

https://www.myhollywoodnews.com/beyonce-shows-off-twins-during-otrii-tour-but-theyre-not-rumi-sir/

#LatestNews