#but also the way half of my friends aren't available for comment lmao

[seravphs]

Five recs (but the recs are my own writing) 

Thank you to lovely @gardenofnoah and @stellamancer for tagging me! 

Halfway through this I realized I was treating it like a writing critique instead of an actual fic rec so it’s more a reflection on how I’ve developed as a writer lmao.

hard feelings — I love Rin and the potential for exploring complicated relationships and feelings through him. Out of all my works, this is the most reader centric. I always feel like I can improve on my angst, and that it’s never as emotionally crippling as I want it to be, but I enjoyed writing about a more imperfect reader in this one. I’d love to keep writing for “bad” readers, actually!

ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies — I like amnqaitynl because it’s how I became friends with Aleks but also because I think it really captures the pining of a friendship turned something more. While it’s not high stakes because it’s just a college relationship, at the same time, it’s so intense! It’s everything to you, this friendship and the potential of losing it and the potential of earning something more, if you’re willing to take a little (big) risk.

religion, like crime, is also organized — Writing mafia fic is inherently hard because I’m constantly trying to avoid the wattpad label, but I really enjoyed exploring a fraught, tense dynamic where you’re not sure if the other person has your best interests at heart because the push and pull is so fun. Playing with religion as an element has always interested me as well!

a lost love takes a long time to die — The only long fic that made it onto this list is for Nanami, which is the way it should be. When I was writing Teen Dad Gojo all the way back in 2021, I always knew I was going to write a series of (unconnected) long fics for the big three (Nanami, Gojo, and Getou.) It took me until 2023 to finish alltalttd because I was so underdeveloped as a writer that I could never manage to write more than a few lines. I think it pushed me a lot in learning how to write fight scenes, deal with major character death, create a complete world, etc. whereas in Teen Dad! Gojo I completely bullshitted it if I’m being completely honest. I also really loved the supernatural element in this! If I could do it over, I wish I could explore the ghost marriage aspect more, especially culturally.

cruel summer universe — This is a love letter to the ordinary extraordinariness of having love in your life. Even though I write it to be very sweet and happy, in the back of my mind, I’m always thinking about how it ends in tragedy for Gojo and crew, so it reminds me of this quote about how even if the love didn’t save anyone, it was there. So this is the work that’s closest to my heart because it’s about how beautiful my relationships with others are.

It’s also my coming of age requiem! While I look forward to getting older, I’m nostalgic for a life that I know is now slipping out of my hands. I’ll still have the people I love, but the shape of our relationship will inevitably change with age. It feels like growing pains, something I have to resist until I realize how good it can be for me. 

Someone commented that it feels like a hug to read, and that’s how it feels to write. Even though it flopped so badly when I first posted it to the point where I thought it didn’t make it into the tags, it ended up being the fic I connect most with others on. Cruel Summer has brought me the most beautiful and heartfelt interactions.

honorable mention: arrive through obliteration — I don’t like the smut in this and I wish I could take it out lmao but I like the atmosphere! Fight scenes are also hard for me, so I’m really glad I pushed through it. 

honorable mention: starboy — technically star boy isn’t posted yet, but while I was working on it, I realized I’ve improved a lot since Teen Dad! Gojo. One of the reasons I dislike Teen Dad! Gojo so much is because I feel like a lot of the scenes could be trimmed down where I was struggling to move the timeline along, whereas in starboy, it feels fluid and natural.

no pressure tags: @seoafin (hope you’re enjoying Japan!) @oh-katsuki (also in Japan and presumably doing better things than thinking about fic lol but in case you want to!) @mintmatcha (no pressure means no pressure but I love your writing so I’d love to know what you think are your top five are!) @andypantsx3 (on hiatus...this is not shaping up well for me lol but if you’d like to, I’m interested in what your personal top five are!) @princess-okkotsu (you’ve definitely been tagged in this before but I would love to hear your thoughts on your writing!)  And anyone who’s reading! I’m serious, I would love to hear people’s thoughts on their own work! A writer I really like does author’s notes whenever she posts a fic and reading them after I finish a fic is the best feeling.