#but also our car's check engine light came on this weekend and we spent today going back and forth to the mechanic and it's gonna be $$$

[dionysus-complex]

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[toumakibangs]

This is my family: I found it all on my own. [Part IV. Trip]

Prompt: “I could kill you right now!”

Jules’ Notes: Sorry, I had to switch prompts because I really really didn’t manage to finish this one yesterday! Anyway, second to last installment of our SingleDads!AU. I swore I wasn’t going to give you the Hakone trip and here I am, giving you the Hakone trip!

You just can’t keep these guys away from the mountains…

[sidenote: there was a scene in the first draft featuring the kids discovering bikes. It got cut out in the end, but who knows what will happen in the future…]

At long last, they manage to free themselves from their busy schedule to organize a proper trip to Hakone: Toudou insists on having them as guests at his family’s ryokan, and although at first Makishima attempts to protest and offer proper payment for his and Sakamichi’s stay, at some point he decides he isn’t really in the position to turn down an offer of free accommodation into a traditional inn with renowned hot springs.

The day before they leave for the weekend, he gets Sakamichi a Love!Hime mini-trolley that matches his kindergarten backpack and pencil case, and shows him how grown-ups pack their things before travelling. Hakone is just a couple of hours away, by train, but it’s still the longest journey that Sakamichi has ever taken, and he has never spent a night in a place that is not his bedroom since Makishima brought him home, so it deserves some preparation. Reassurances about potty breaks and futons, but also promises about food and baths and beautiful scenery: Sakamichi dozes off with a smile, dreaming about sweet mochi in beautiful shapes, and Makishima takes off his glasses and tucks the covers around him.

The child alternates excitement and worry, and it’s the most adorable thing Makishima has ever seen. They avoid an unpleasant accident on the shinkansen, a small victory that grants Sakamichi a proud high-five from his guardian, along with a loud kiss on his plump cheek that makes him laugh and a big hug, just because. They have a light snack before arriving, and step off the train chuckling at a silly joke Sakamichi heard from the tv the previous day.

Toudou is waiting for them on the platform, holding Sangaku’s hand: the child looks around with a dreamy expression, but lights up immediately the moment he spots his friend and starts running in his direction, tugging Toudou along. They exchange cordialities as the kids greet each other enthusiastically. They haven’t talked about the text from a few nights before, the one that Makishima has left unanswered out of sheer panic, but he doesn’t feel any sort of awkward vibe stemming from Toudou, which puts his mind a little more at ease. Or would put it at ease, if it wasn’t that now he feels hyper aware of Toudou, always: had his hair always looked so shiny? Was his skin always that flawless? Why hadn’t Makishima ever noticed his built before? Was it because Toudou’s casual wear hugged his body in ways his more formal attire didn’t? Had he whitened his teeth in the past days?!

- Sorry for making the two of you come on your own: my parents needed help and we came here several days ago.

- I hope we are not intruding, is it okay for us to stay?

Toudou waves off his concerns.

- Sure. Nothing serious, just ordinary maintenance and family reunions. When they know I’m on vacation, they take advantage of me as much as they can. Plus, Grandma likes to spoil Sangaku a little, doesn’t she, Sangaku?

The kid looks up puzzled, like he doesn’t really understand what the word means, and he hugs Toudou’s leg in answer, earning himself a pat on the head. Makishima smiles at Sangaku, but evidently the only effect it has is to scare him enough to hide behind Toudou’s knees. Sakamichi takes it as a game and does the same, peeking and waving at Sangaku from the space between Makishima’s legs. Sangaku giggles and answers in kind. Toudou grins at the toddlers and fishes keys out of a pocket.

- Let’s go, I took one of the inn’s vans!

*

- Are you sure this is alright?

Makishima asks again while they’re putting his and Sakamichi’s trolley away and buckling up the kids in the car seats, and again Toudou reassures him.

- I’ve told you to not worry: we have already scheduled today’s trips for all the guests and we’re free to use the van as we please. We might need to stop by one of our suppliers on the way back, though. We almost ran out of sake at the inn and our trusted distillery is on the way back. I promised I would have stocked up in exchange of the van.

The boys squeal at nothing in particular, maybe just at the prospect of their trip including another, surprise stop. Makishima raises a brow at Toudou, who checks Sangaku’s belts one last time and then scratches his head.

- They have child-friendly snacks there too, I promise.

Toudou starts the engine while Makishima closes his own door and holds the small backpack on his knees.

- We took the liberty of bringing a double dessert. Chocolate.

- I love chocolate!

Manami pipes up from behind Toudou, who winks at him and also rolls his eyes theatrically.

- Who doesn’t! But that’s very nice of you: we actually have extra watermelon ourselves, don’t we, Sangaku?

- I can spit the seeds very far!

Toudou groans and apologizes for his son’s loose tongue, but Makishima can already feel Sakamichi vibrating in excitement.

- So cool, Manami-kun!

Makishima resigns himself to having to teach his son how to spit watermelon seeds like an automatic rifle.

*

The Hakone mountains are beautiful. More beautiful than Makishima remembered and more beautiful than he expected. They pick an easy path, one appropriate for the children and that leads to a clearing where they can have a picnic. The scenery is breath-taking, so much that for a while, Makishima forgets to speak. Sakamichi turns on himself while he walks, starstruck and with his mouth wide open. For a moment, Makishima thinks the new environment has broken his kid, but then something blue zooms in his peripheral vision and he spots Sangaku running ahead, looking more focused and determined that Makishima has ever seen him. The kid sprints like he has wings, fast and unstoppable and gaining advantage on them after every second. Makishima makes to call after him, but Toudou puts a hand on his arm and signals him that it’s alright.

- The path is clear and safe, and Sangaku knows he has to stay where I can see him. I know it may seem irresponsible of me, but… sometimes he needs to be let free. We have an agreement that climbing trees and playing near the river is only to be done under my supervision, but he loves these places, and he likes running around so much… it does him a lot of good, honestly. He’s the happiest up here, I can’t really bring myself to ground him with too many rules.

Makishima nods, still a little apprehensive at the sight of Sangaku distancing himself from them. He didn’t think he would have been that kind of parent, with how much he values his own freedom, but here he is. And Sakamichi, at his side, has his eyes glued to Manami but throws furtive glances up at him while his legs shake in the effort of staying still. Makishima puts two and two together.

- Sakamichi, do you want to go, too?

Sakamichi’s eyes go wide and he gasps, a little overwhelmed by the mere chance of knowing the possibility to follow Manami exists, of being given a choice on the matter. His voice is high-pitched. Higher than usual at least, and squeaky.

- C-Can I???

Makishima is at a loss, because on one hand he would really really prefer that Sakamichi, being inexperienced and a little clumsy, stayed a little closer – but on the other he knows he’d feel just as bad if he were to deny Sakamichi the chance to have fun. It is one thing to put up rules and boundaries to educate a child and make him learn to eat his vegetables and stay safe, but it is another to actually prevent him from enjoying a trip into what is basically a big, organic playground. Plus, Sakamichi is unawarely making the face that Makishima can’t resist, therefore it’s an already lost battle. Trying to not think about all the ways a child can hurt himself in the open and mentally recalling the dates of every single vaccine shot Sakamichi has taken (the booster one for tetanus was one of the last, and Makishima was present for that, so he’s covered), he adjusts his son’s cap and takes his small backpack to make him lighter.

- Go. But don’t go where I can’t see you.

Sakamichi’s face breaks up in the most dazzling smile Makishima has ever received and the kid shouts a ‘thank you’ before running after Sangaku, who is waiting for him. Makishima has brought Sakamichi to their neighbourhood’s park often, he knows his kid loves to play and doesn’t shy away from hide-and-seek or tag, but being smaller and not very fast or strong, he does shy away from his peers, a little, which always makes him look a bit withdrawn in the crowd of children. He’s different with Shunsuke, and Shoukichi, more relaxed and more prone to participate in whatever activity they come up with, even if it usually ends up with him running after and keeping up with the other two as they butt head and compete over every little thing. This is another thing entirely, and Makishima has a hard time acknowledging that the resolute boy running fast in front of him is his son: Sakamichi’s legs move fast, and although it should tire him to keep up such a speed, it really doesn’t, and Sakamichi calls for Sangaku while he catches up (he always does that) and doesn’t even slow down when the two of them sprint together in another direction, heading towards a big stone first, a bunch of lilac flowers later, and then towards a weirdly shaped log that Sangaku swears it’s full of lizards they can chase.

They laugh loudly as the quick reptiles escape swiftly through their fingers and Makishima is torn between wanting to cry of joy at such a healthy display of ease and well-being, and the urge to sanitize every single blade of grass and kill every potentially dangerous insect in a two-meters-radius from Sakamichi. He hears Toudou chuckle at his right.

- Yeah, it’s really hard the first time.

- Shut up. I could kill you right now.

Toudou laughs and shifts his own backpack more so it rests more comfortably on his shoulders.

- Let’s go, Maki-chan! We have to keep up with our sons and show them who they’re dealing with!

He walks past him and flows into a higher rhythm without missing a beat. Before Makishima knows, Toudou is several steps ahead of him and he has to run to catch him again and settle on his speed. It’s a very comfortable one.

*

- You come here often?

A little more than an hour later, they’re sprawled on their respective quilts on the grass and setting up the food and cutlery for their pic-nic. There are dedicated resting areas on the track, with proper tables and facilities, but Toudou recommended a more classic experience, for their first trip. Makishima admits that the atmosphere is more bucolic this way.

- As often as I can. Yeas, Sangaku does indeed love it up here, but there are also steep paths that are meant for adults, not children, that I enjoy walking alone. The view is really striking up there.

Toudou points at the different mountains and the woods as he speak, with the confident air of someone who know very well what he’s talking about and that is in his element. It’s striking in a completely different way from the scenery. Makishima clears his throat, feeling the collar of his shirt suddenly too constricting, and he takes out of Sakamichi’s Love!Hime backpack a matching lunchbox.

- He’s really into it, isn’t he? The show.

Makishima looks up and follows Toudou’s line of sight, noticing the little backpack, the lunchbox, the ball Sakamichi and Sangaku are playing with and the mini trolley they have left in the van. He shrugs.

- I believe cartoons are Sakamichi’s biggest passion, as a whole, but he really got into this one, he’s totally in love. He made me watch it with him more than once and… I admit I can see why he likes it so much. It’s the story of a very average girl, with no talent whatsoever, who gets chosen to be a magical girl because of her kindness, but being her an unskilled person, she has to learn how to be a magical girl and improve her magical abilities. She has to overcome several trials in every episode and gets discouraged easily, but she makes good friends along the way. Plus, she has the help of a very weird looking mentor and her love interest is a very gifted apprentice from another magical academy.

- Are you sure you’re not into it as well?

Makishima chuckles and runs his thumb over the lunchbox, from where Kotori is making a peace sign at him.

- I think it’s a good show, for kids. No wonder it’s so popular. And it’s hard to explain, but while he enjoys pretty much every tv show meant for his age, this is different. This Love!Hime thing… inspires him. Does it make sense? I don’t know, maybe a child psychologist would hold a different opinion, but… it gives him courage, to think about what these characters would do if they were in his place. I’ve also been able to explain him bigger concepts, using them and their adventures, and he grasps them easily in those terms. So, yeah, Love!Hime is a very big deal in our household, and we really like our merchandise. One would say I spoil him too much, but… it doesn’t really feels that way? I mean… he never asks for anything. At all. And, I mean… if he needs something new, like his backpack when he started attending kindergarten, why shouldn’t I get him one with his favourite hero printed on? I can afford it.

Toudou lets him talk, guessing there’s a little more history behind his words.

- I’m not a spendthrift, nor a squanderer, but when Sakamichi came home with me all his possessions could fit into a small suitcase and were old hand-me-downs that made me feel sad just by looking at them. And his most treasured toy was the plush hippo I had got for him when we met at the zoo. He hasn’t owned pretty much anything until now, and he’s not a capricious child. He likes a cartoon with a magical girl and stuffed animals, why shouldn’t I get him these things, when I have the chance? Geez, he doesn’t even take me for granted, I still have a hard time making him understand that the things he has belong to him…

Toudou offers him rice balls with a tender expression.

- I know the feeling. I just wish Sangaku loved this way something else, apart from the mountains.

Makishima takes the lid off his box of takoyaki and puts it in the middle of the quilt, to share. Toudou calls the boys and, as they come, Makishima can’t believe Sakamichi still has the energy to chatter. At his left, Toudou wrestles sanitizer into Sangaku hands before allowing him near the food, but he’s doing so with a fond smile that turns even brighter when the child start eating in earnest, even looking for this or that snack they brought. Sakamichi does the same, trying dishes without even asking what’s in there. Toudou helps Sangaku with a water bottle.

- He’s a little picky with his food, but I think we’re getting better.

Makishima thinks about Sakamichi’s quiet acceptance of everything he puts in his plate, even when it’s clear that he’s not fond of some tastes, and watches him munch happily on Toudou’s salads. He kisses the top of his child’s head and asks Toudou for some recipes.

*

Predictably, the kids take a nap during the ride back to Toudou-an, but they’re wide awake for the traditional bath.

- The main pool is too hot for children, but we have an indoor bath where we keep the water’s temperature to a lower degree, if you’d like to let Sakamichi soak. He can enter the hot springs too, but he should sit outside of the water. Manami usually does that.

- I think we’ll make do with the indoor one, for now. Are you coming with us?

The words are out before Makishima can think about their implications. Toudou scratches his head.

- I would like to sort things out with my parents, first: you know, the sake order and everything, but if you feel comfortable enough to handle Sangaku, I could leave him in your care. I admit I like the hot springs better, so I wouldn’t mind postponing the bath a little and go soak while he’s asleep.

Makishima nods and goes to retrieve a change of clothes for him and Sakamichi, only to find a couple of yukatas on their futons. Already imagining Sakamichi’s face once he’ll tell him he has to wear such a garment, he goes back and gathers the kids, leading them inside the bath. On an empty bench there’s another tiny yukata waiting for Sangaku. Who luckily is an expert in terms of bathing and turns out to be very helpful in teaching Sakamichi all the ways of a communal pool and of a traditional ryokan.

*

Dinner is a light affair and the kids are asleep before they swallow the last bite of their dessert. They agree on letting them sleep close to each other for the time being, even if Makishima and Sakamichi’s futons are actually on the other side of the paper panel that divides the reasonably sized room that Toudou and Sangaku usually occupy when they visit.

- Sorry I couldn’t manage to get you another one. High season.

- Exactly because it’s high season it’s already very generous of you to host us for free. Do not worry about such trivial things.

- Maki-chan.

- Mh?

- Go enjoy the hot springs. The real thing, I mean. I can watch over the kids for a while.

- I already bathed, I wouldn’t want to im-

- I insist. They’re the pride of our inn: my grandmother will chase me with a broomstick if she finds out I let you go without a proper soak.

Toudou’s grandmother is a formidable looking ancient woman who could probably outlive her whole progeny and wouldn’t do so out of sheer pity and spirit of adventure. The image of her running after her rude nephew brandishing a broomstick is as comical as it is plausible, and Makishima laughs.

- Alright, I’ll go. Thank you.

*

The problem is, after the thirty minutes that they agreed on, Toudou goes too.

And Makishima would have left on time, and given him the change with the kids, if he hadn’t dozed off in the bath, but of course he did, and of course now he gets to wake up to the very sight he tried so hard to avoid: that of a very naked Toudou sitting dangerously close to him in a deserted hot spring. And shaking him into consciousness, which is a bonus that didn’t belong to the fantasy.

- Maki-chan! That’s why you should never bathe alone! Wake up! Are you alright?!

Makishima has enough presence of mind and coordination to stand up on his own and pull a towel around his waist in the meantime, grateful to the deities that Toudou has had the decency to never take his own off in the first place. He doesn’t know if he feels more embarrassed (and is therefore more red) for having being caught dead asleep in a public hot spring he’s been invited to, for the hot water or for standing in his birthday suit in front of his equally unclothed crush. Because yes, in the past half-hour he’s finally come to terms with the fact that he most likely has a crush on Toudou. Talk about mineral-rich waters and their power to clear minds and, contextually, complicate things.

- I… I think I should go.

- I’m coming with you.

- You’ve barely put foot in the bath.

- I’ve grown up here. I can live with missing a night. Besides, there’s still tomorrow morning. The sun comes up from that side. It’s beautiful.

Why is everything about you and your family absolutely breath-taking!?

Makishima nods, because there’s nothing else he can do, and stumbles into the changing rooms, Toudou in tow. They get dressed in silence, turned in opposite directions, but in their hast to finish before each other they end up tying their yukatas and moving to the exit at the same moment. The walk back to the room they share it’s an awkward one, and Makishima tries to find an excuse to pull that paper door close on his side of the accommodation without sounding too rude. Because what if he has completely misunderstood the situation and ends up ruining this, whatever it is, and also Sakamichi’s first friendship?

Toudou catches the sleeve of his yukata in front of their door. True to his nature, he’s staring straight into Makishima’s eyes.

- You are troubled. What is it?

Makishima swallows and looks away, touching his neck and grimacing at the naked skin he finds there. He hasn’t let his hair down. How could he forget to let his hair down!?

- It’s because of what I said, isn’t it? About the text I sent you the night I came back from the hospital.

Makishima wouldn’t be able to speak even if he wanted to. And he’s not sure he wants to, because he doesn’t trust his tongue, his mouth, his eyes, his body, anything about him. And Toudou makes of his silence what he wants…

- I’m sorry, I… I shouldn’t have sent it, I… I never meant to make things awkward. I… – he sighs, running fingers through his hair, and does Makishima have to notice right now that Toudou is not wearing a headband and is probably the one person in the whole world that looks good with bangs?! – I was vulnerable, that day. I had just put Sangaku to sleep with stitches on his eyebrow. I was exhausted and I felt so grateful towards you, you have no idea how much. I overstepped and overshared, and I’m sorry if my words came out wrong. They were true though: I was thinking about you when Sangaku got hurt, and maybe I felt the need to say it out loud because it helped me ease the guilt a little. I’ve… It’s been a while, since I have… built something with a person. Connected to someone new. And you are – you’re a force of nature, but an approachable one. I know it’s not easy for you, either, but you make it seem easier, being a parent, and I… I really needed it, right now. Someone like you.

Makishima kisses first, and neither he or Toudou expected that. In fact, Toudou stills under his hands and lips and Makishima pulls back enough to look at his slightly horrified face and his stomach drops to the ground. But Toudou has stopped talking.

- I just ruined everything, didn’t I? I… I got it all wrong, and you were merely referring to my presence in your life as a fellow single parent with a troubled child and a peculiar history, didn’t you?! Geez, of course you did, I don’t even know where you swin-

Toudou kisses second, and he kisses hard. Makishima understands now why Toudou might have not responded to his assault, he doesn’t feel able to either, he’s too stunned by the absurdity of the whole situation to even lift a hand. Toudou steps back but leaves his hands on Makishima’s neck.

- I swing in any way you need me to. And no, you didn’t misunderstand anything.

They kiss again, and this time it’s a mutual thing, which makes everything more interesting and less awkward. Toudou feels and tastes exactly like Makishima imagined (because now he can admit to himself he has been imagining this for quite some time). Makishima fits into his arms as perfectly has Toudou hoped he would. Makishima leans on the thin wall and pulls Toudou along, hands growing bolder and roaming over bodies and loose yukatas. They pull apart only when it’s absolutely necessary to do so, panting.

- It’s been…

- A while? Yeah, me too. You know, with a kid and everything…

Toudou laughs and rests his head on his shoulders. Makishima hugs him. It feels good. He had forgotten how good it could feel. He dives for another kiss. Sakamichi’s scream stops him before their lips can touch again and he pushes Toudou off of himself. He doesn’t take offense and doesn’t miss a bit. Makishima thinks he could fall in love with this man.

- What is it? – he asks as Makishima pulls open the door and kneels at his child’s side.

- Nightmare. Sakamichi. Sakamichi!

Sakamichi wakes up, startled and scared and in an environment that he doesn’t recognize. Predictably, he falls into an hysterical cry, but while Toudou is close to panic, Makishima seems to know what he’s doing. Therefore, Toudou focuses on his own kid, jolted awake by Sakamichi’s cries and close to a fear-induced tantrum himself.

Makishima disappears behind the inner paper door and turns on a lamp to give the room a warm glow of orange light. Toudou watches his silhouette from the other side of the light panel and hushes Sangaku, who hiccups sleepily into his arms. Makishima comes out several minutes later, cradling Sakamichi to his chest. Toudou notices that the child is still wide awake and slightly unsettled, and hugged tight to the hippo plush that Toudou imagines is the one Makishima told him about.

- Jinpachi, can you do me a favour?

Toudou nods.

- Would it be possible to warm up some milk, with a drop of honey? I have the sippy cup in my bag.

Toudou stands up, Sangaku on his hip.

- I’m on it, don’t worry. There’s an extra blanket in the wardrobe, should you need it, and spare futons as well: I don’t think he’s had any accident, but it’s better if you know, just in case.

Makishima mouths a ‘thank you’ and watches him leave the room with a light pang of loss. Then Sakamichi shudders again, and his attention is diverted to something much more important.

*

An hour or so later, the kids are asleep again, but the four of them are huddled on a single double futon, since it has proven impossible to separate Sangaku from Sakamichi without either of them fussing, and Sakamichi wouldn’t have let Makishima go if his life depended on it.

- Does it happen often?

- The nightmares? Not anymore. It was worse, at the beginning, but every now and then he has one.

- Sangaku did too, but in a sense it was worse, because he’s always been a silent kid, so I wouldn’t know there was a problem until it was bad enough that he came crawling into my bed. Which, in my opinion, was already too late.

- How did you deal with it?

- I put a monitor on his nightstand and developed a sixth sense.

- I know what you mean.

Sakamichi mumbles something into his sleep and Makishima cuddles him closer.

- About earlier. Perhaps we should… ah…

- …take things slow?

- Yeah. Don’t… don’t get me wrong, Jinpachi, it’s not like I want out, I just…

- …have a kid. So do I. And it’s been a while. Same here.

Makishima looks at him with longing, mixed with guilt. It’s a look Toudou knows well, and he can’t help himself: he tucks a stray lock of curly green hair behind Makishima’s ear and leaves his hand on Makishima’s cheek.

- I’m okay with slow, Maki-chan.

Makishima closes his eyes and they both lean over for a last kiss. A slow one.

[allyinthekeyofx]

Falling back 1/2

Anonymous said :For your prompt: I absolutely love angsty fluff set in the revival era. When it starts by wrenching a knife in your heart because M and S aren’t a family, but then the two of them reconcile over something silly and domestic, and it touches your heart when they finally come together. Bonus points for smut. If you could write something like this it would be amazing!!!

Well anon, here goes nothing! Part 1 is all about the angsty fluff.  Part 2 will be all about the smut.  Tagging @today-in-fic @fictober

 Here be part 1.

I probably should have called before I drove all the way out here but I think if I’d really allowed myself to think about it too much I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to put thought into action and, as I have done so many times over the past year or so,  would have come up with a whole host of perfectly valid reasons as to why this was a bad idea; that we should both just be grateful that out of the ashes of our relationship we had at least found a way to remain friends.

Our partnership had been surprisingly easy to fall back into - so many years of working alongside each other made the re-connect almost seamless and providing we kept things on a professional level we were able to pretty much bury the last couple of years as though they had never happened, but start to stray into the personal, where recrimination, hurt and betrayal still bubbled dangerously close to the surface and the air around us would suddenly become static with highly charged silences that crackled and sparked with all we left unsaid.

But still I ignored the voice of reason inside of me and before I could change my mind I threw a sweater over my shoulders, grabbed my keys and exited my horribly sterile apartment and headed out into the late October sunshine.

I almost turned the car around several times, even pulling over for a few minutes when my anxiety threatened to rear it’s ugly head and whisper in my ear just how foolhardy a plan this was.  Mulder was recovering, I was recovering.  Why risk all that at this stage in the game?

By the time I arrived, I had almost persuaded myself that he wouldn’t be home, that my journey would have been all for nothing or even worse, that he would see my arrival as an inconvenience - an unwelcome interruption in his precious weekend time which I knew he relied heavily upon to rest and regroup, to settle his mind for the week ahead.  Finally finding ways to combat the demons that had grown within him to such an extent he had quite literally fell apart at the seams, retreating far away from himself, from me and from the life we had struggled so hard to build for ourselves when all had seemed hopeless and the only light in the darkness of losing everything had been the fact that we at least still had each other.  Until the day came where it just wasn’t enough anymore and the weight of his guilt, of his obsession and his paranoia finally sent me fleeing from him.  His recovery has been hard fought and right now what we have should be enough.  But it isn’t - maybe it never will be - and I think if I’m honest, that is what has brought me here today.

My fears turned out to be groundless though, because the first thing I see when I reach the end of the long dirt drive that leads to the house is Mulder.  Busily raking leaves into neat piles to bag and burn later, a glorious splash of autumnal colour against the rough grass that despite my every effort, could never quite be described as a lawn and the second he recognised the car, a wide grin appeared and a hand waved a greeting in my direction, his total acceptance of my being there as though he has been expecting me to show up all morning.

He is dressed in an old grey t-shirt, a long rent in one shoulder exposing taught, tanned skin that suggests, judging by the way the front yard looks, that he has spent many hours of the summer just being outside in the sunshine, keeping busy, finding and accepting the man he used to be but who had once, all but disappeared into the swirling vortex of his own troubled mind.  Faded chinos and brown boots that have seen better days complete his outfit and just for a second, he quite literally takes my breath away because somehow he looks younger.  The salt and pepper weekend scruff that darkens his cheeks in no way detracting from the sheer beauty of him and for a moment I am transported back to a time when we had thought we were invincible just so long as we could find a way to be together.

His manner is easy, his eyes sparkling with reflected sunlight enhancing the tiny golden flecks within and, always the gentleman he reaches the car even as I turn off the engine, opening my door and stepping slightly to the side so I might exit.  It’s such a simple gesture but one which, inexplicably makes the back of my throat burn and tighten because this is the Mulder I fell in love with.  This man who, without conscious thought just made me feel worthy of such simple gestures even when deep down I felt undeserving of them.

“Hey Scully”

He smiles again and reaches across me to close the car door.

“What brings you here on this fine fall day?”

And even though I know he is pleased to see me, I can’t help but need affirmation from him that he wants me there.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call first, I just....I thought.....”

His hand is immediately against my cheek, the warmth of his palm against my skin like a salve as he strokes gently downwards, following the contours of my jaw, my neck, the slope of my shoulder before squeezing gently and letting his hand fall away.

“This is your house too Scully and you are always welcome here you know that. I’m not questioning your right to be here.  I was just curious as to why today, why now after all this time?”

He scrutinises me in a way that, even though I now spend almost all the working week with him, he hasn’t done in a very long time and it’s almost too painful for me to bear.  This man, who has caused me so much heartbreak but who I love with an intensity that would, if I allowed it too, still blind me to everything else around me and it’s because of this I drop my gaze from his, ducking my head as I attempt to hide the emotions he has evoked within me and which, deep down I know will only lead to more heartbreak.

“Are you okay?”

His hand again, on my arm this time, his fingers just barely tightening against the soft cotton of the plaid shirt I am wearing but it’s enough to ground me, to give me courage just as he always has with a simple caress, a single touch.  And I manage to smile reassuringly at him, covering his hand with my own, revelling in the familiarity of him before me.

“I’m fine.  Really.  I just thought that maybe we could go pick a couple of pumpkins.  I missed it last year and I know it’s stupid and childish but it was something we always did and......”

“Scully....”

I remove my hand and begin to turn away.  He doesn’t want to and he is about to let me down gently and suddenly I just feel like such a fool for even thinking he might want to spend time with me like this.  Not after we have fought so hard to gain back even a little of what we lost. 

 Stupid. 

 I have been so stupid because this isn’t what he needs - it’s all about what I need and I have no right to do this to him.

“I’m sorry Mulder I didn’t mean to... I mean I understand if you don’t...”

“Scully?”

There is just a hint of laughter in the way he says my name and that, more than anything stops me in my tracks as he catches hold of my hand in his and brings it briefly to his lips, kissing my knuckles fleetingly, his manner suddenly more serious.

“Yes?”

And he smiles again.

“There is nothing I can think of in this world right now that I would like more, than to go pick pumpkins with you.”

************************

We arrive back, not just with pumpkins but also a quart of cider complete with cinnamon sticks and a deep dish apple pie which was still warm when Mulder scooped it up from where it sat amongst similar homebaked goodies on the low trestle table covered with a red and white gingham check cloth, an unspoken question thrown in my direction as he cocked his head to one side in that endearing way of his as though asking my permission to do this thing right - to fallback into a tradition we had enjoyed so much in previous years before everything began to slip away from us.

Pumpkins, hot apple cider and fresh-baked pie.  All to be taken home with us and while the pumpkins would be put aside to carve the next day, the autumnal goodies would be delivered by him with a flourish and subsequently enjoyed outside atop his worn navajo blanket that he would spread over crisp autumn leaves to add a layer of softness beneath and to protect us from the dewy dampness of the october ground.

Every year since we bought the house.  Every year bar one.  And I hadn’t realised really, just how important these little rituals had become until I no longer had them.

But now, as I sit opposite him, cross legged on that old blanket, basking in the sunshine that is still warm and golden with barely a hint of the winter that is hovering just around the corner, I can feel something beginning to shift between us; a new understanding that we are changing, re-connecting, finding each other once again.  And it feels so right to be here with him that I refuse to contemplate even for a single moment that it might be wrong - that maybe we are reacting purely to echos of a past that despite everything, kept us together even when everything seemed hopeless but which I suspect, will never allow us to ever completely be apart.

He has a crumb of pastry clinging to the edge of his bottom lip and almost against my will I reach up to brush it away, my fingertips just barely making contact as I allow them to linger for a moment against that plump, soft skin, leaning toward him even as my hand falls away.  Our lips meet sweetly, cinnamon warm and with an easy familiarity that takes my breath away and sends an electric jolt through my body.  A shiver works it’s way down my back as my nerve endings suddenly fizzle into life and I’m unsurprised when he notices and pulls away again, eyes questioning, concerned, attuned to me as always in ways I can barely fathom.

“Is this okay?” 

He is still close enough for his murmured inquiry to gently stir the tendrils of hair that have escaped my ponytail and which now frame my face.  His breath smells of apples.

“I think..”

Shuffling forward a little to gain better access, I cup his face in my hands, peppering him with tiny kisses, needing to taste his skin before I continue.

“....that this is very okay Mulder.”  

Continued in part 2 where we will wander into nsfw territory.  But if it’s not your thing - consider this your fluffy ending. 

[travelingtheusa]

NEW YORK

17 Aug 2020 (Mon) – I went to the neurologist this morning and was wired up for a 24-hour EEG.  They attached 23 electrodes to my head and 3 to my chest.  I have to wear a machine to register brain activity for 24 hours. All this just to reassure Paul that I am OK and can go hiking in the woods again.

     When I got home, Paul went food shopping.  I was NOT going out with all the wires hanging off my head.  When he got back, we had lunch, then went to work on getting rid of old files and boxes.  I have tons of old military books and material that has to be burned.  It can’t just be thrown in the garbage.  I sat in front of the fire pit for 2 hours and only got through 1 box.  I have 5 more to go.  

     Ford called to say they replaced the fuel pump on the truck and everything seems to be alright.  I took the rental car, drove Paul to Sayville Ford to drop him off, drove to Islip Airport to drop off the rental car where Paul picked me up and we drove back home.

 16 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We borrowed Kenny’s truck and drove to church this morning. It rained all day.  We spent most of the day inside watching TV or working on the computer.

 15 Aug 2020 (Sat) – Spent the day working around the property.  Kenny went to work at 4 and I went into the house to watch Caiden.  He came out to the camper and had dinner with us, then we went back inside and I gave him a bath.  We had a pillow fight and played with his transformers.  He finally went to bed at 9 p.m.  I think that is too late for a 6 year old but his parents are night owls and I guess he’s becoming one also.

 14 Aug 2020 (Fri) – The tech from Sayville Ford called and said the diagnostics was telling him the truck needs a fuel pump.  No amount of arguing that the last service station messed something up. We finally authorized the part. Maybe they can get to it on Monday. Ugh.  

     Miranda’s truck was finished at 4 p.m.  Turned out to be the alternator.  I was going to take the rental car since we have no vehicle but I let her take the truck to Philly given the cruddy condition of her truck.  We weren’t sure it would make it there and back.  It really is on its last legs.

     We were supposed to ride out to Indian Island to join the Long Islanders for camping this weekend.  Since we don’t have the truck to pull the camper, we will miss the campout.  This was very disappointing.

 13 Aug 2020 (Thu) – Miranda’s car suddenly gave up the ghost today.  It was clicking, wouldn’t start, and all kind of diagnostic warnings were flashing on her dashboard.  She was able to drop it off at the service station.  This is really bad timing because she is preparing to go to Philly this weekend to coordinate a concert for her camp.   We looked around and was able to reserve a rental car just in case the car isn’t back tomorrow.

     Paul and I rode our bicycles to Best Buy this afternoon.  It’s been giving me trouble and there’s some kind of program on there that we didn’t load in but keeps trying to update drivers.  I had them take it off.  They were very understaffed and the tech wasn’t really interested in working with me on anything else.  I had wanted help in getting videos off the computer.  I’ll have to wait until things get back to normal.

     Paul took an Uber to the cardiologist this afternoon for a stress test.  They injected him with something and then put him in an MRI machine.  He said it was quick and easy.

 12 Aug 2020 (Wed) – It was a quiet day all around.  Paul picked up the truck.  Not only was it making the humming noise, but the dashboard was lighting up like a Christmas tree!  Low fuel pressure!  Low engine pressure!  The service station told us they couldn’t find anything wrong and the noise was gone. Boy, were they wrong.  Paul called Sayville Ford and we were able to get it into the service bay today.  Hope they didn’t break the engine.  L

 11 Aug 2020 (Tue) – I went to the radiologist today for an MRI of my right foot. We worked around the property, cleaning out old files and boxes.  Sent out for pizza for dinner.

 10 Aug 2020 (Mon) – Paul brought the truck back to the service station this morning. They kept the truck and dropped him off back at home.  At 1 p.m. I went to the doctor for an echo cardiogram.  I had to borrow Miranda’s car to get there and back.

     We called the service station at 3:30 p.m.  The tech told us that they had to call a friend at Ford to ask about the fuel pump.  The guy told them they had to replace the entire assembly, not just the fuel pump. Paul was annoyed!  I think we will have to make sure in the future that (1) only Ford does the work and, (2) that the mechanic is a certified diesel mechanic. Hopefully, we will get the truck back tomorrow.  They were going to send out for the item, which will cost us over $400.  This is after already being charged $170 to put the fuel pump on before they broke it.

 9 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning.  I think it was the most people we’ve seen there since we came back. Everyone is still wearing masks and there are seats roped off.  Hand sanitizer stations have been set up around the building.   They announce that the thrift shop will open for 2 hours on Sunday afternoon in an outdoor setting.  That means folks attending the service will be asked to help bring things outside and set up, then take it back downstairs when done.  I hope it works.  The thrift shop is a major revenue source for the church and it has really been hurt with the closure.

     After church, we went to the Clamside Bar & Grill at the East Islip Marina. The waitress was soooooo slow. Paul ordered Belgian waffles and they came out cold.  My food was lukewarm.  He sent his waffles back.  The next service was also cool.  Paul wound up not eating his meal.  It was a disappointing experience and we probably won’t go back there for a while.

 8 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We gathered up Caiden and drove to Sue & Bill’s for the day.  The day started out overcast but the clouds soon cleared away and we had a delightful day in the pool.

 7 Aug 2020 (Fri) – I went to the neurologist this morning.  The first test was a Neurotrax.  It was a cognitive test to see if I’ve had any brain damage from the TGA back in March.  Following that, I had an EEG.  A technician glues 23 nodes to your head and then has you sit in a chair with your eyes closed most of the time.  He flashes a light on your closed eyes, then says “Open Your Eyes” for like 30 seconds then close them again.  Weird.

     Paul has been working hard in the yard, cleaning up after the storm.   The oblivious neighbor did a stupid thing.  A tree in his yard came down into our yard.  It was straddling the fence with the root ball in the neighbor’s yard and the tree branches supporting the tree in our yard.  The neighbor brought his chain saw out and cut the tree.  No longer balanced between the tree branches and the root ball, the tree crushed our fence.  

     I went to the podiatrist today to check out the painful lump on my Achilles tendon. The doctor took an x-ray and said I have a bone spur that could be causing the problem.  She also criticized my flip flops, saying I needed more support for my feet.  She gave me some heel inserts to wear in a closed shoe.  She also sent me to the radiologist to get an MRI.  I made an appointment for Tuesday.  

6 Aug 2020 (Thu) – Paul brought the truck to the service station to get it inspected.  When he got back, he complained that he could hear a humming from the fuel pump.  That happened to us once before.  A non-qualified mechanic had tried to mount the fuel pump on the rail and broke it.  Apparently, a certified diesel mechanic needs to do the job.  Paul called and was told to bring the truck back in on Monday.

     We brought Bonnie to the vet at 2 p.m.  The ultrasound shows she has some abnormal liver issues.  The vet wants to do a biopsy but Bonnie has to get a blood test first to see if she has a clotting factor.  If so, then she can have the biopsy.  If not, then we can’t do it.

 5 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I had a check with the nurse at the cardiologist’s office today.  They wanted to check and make sure there were no problems with the loop recorder.  She said I had a bit of a reaction to the medical tape but everything looked OK.  I should just let the tape fall off when it wants.

     After the doctor, I brought some containers to Travis.  He is now in contract on his house and beginning to pack things up.  I brought him 9 containers.  Then I drove to Sayville and met my sister, Susan, and her daughter, Shay, for lunch at Cornucopia.  It is a kind of health food supermarket with a great deli counter where we all ordered lunch.  We then sat outside to enjoy our meal.  Following that, we took a walk along Main Street, looking in the shop windows. When we came upon an India shop, we went in.  Susan & Bill follow the religion of Ashananda and the shop owner had been to one of their meetings out in the Hamptons.  She spoke for a while with the clerks (the shop owner wasn’t there).

     We went over Trap’s tonight to sign the contract for the sale of their house.  Since we are listed as co-owners on the house, we have to sign the contract as well. While there, Trap dug out the chain saw for Paul.

4 August 2020 (Tue) – Things have been so busy and technology has been so challenging that I have not been able to keep up with the blog.  I have an appointment with Best Buy on the 13th. Hopefully, that will get things back on the road.

    Let’s see. I have been to the cardiologist and had an internal cardiac monitor (ICM) installed in my chest.  It is a device that tracks heart activity and at night, when I am sleeping, it uploads the day’s activities to the doctor’s office. It’s been 5 days and the site still itches like crazy.  Ugh.

    I had to go to the lab and get a COVID test before getting the ICM installed. The nurse stuck a Cutip so far up my nose that my eyes teared.  And I had an earache for the rest of the day.  That dam thing was painful!  I will not do that again.

     We took Caiden to Sue & Bill’s last Wednesday.  Their daughter, Shay, and her boyfriend, Pat, are up from South Carolina. We all swam and munched on delicious vegan foods.  It was fun.

     I went to the doctor’s office to see what is wrong with my heel.  The PA saw me (the doctor was busy).  He thinks I have a cyst on my Achilles tendon and referred me to a podiatrist.

      Miranda was back in Pennsylvania this weekend so we watched Caiden a good part of the time when Kenny wasn’t working.

     We got to visit with Travis & Sam yesterday.  The baby is walking pretty good now.  He’s always so happy.  He immediately lights up when he sees you and waves his little hand hello.  Trap got an offer on the house and we signed the contract with the realtor.  He’s a little freaked out.  They have now signed a contract to sell their house.  They have to be out in a month.  They want to move to South Carolina but neither of them has a job or a place to stay.  In addition, they’re not going to be able to keep as much of the money from the sale of the house that they had counted on.  The realtor gets $16,400 alone!  Wow!

     Today, Paul had an appointment with the dentist.  This was a follow up to checkups we had two weeks ago where the dentist found a cavity.  He went in to day to get it filled.  Afterward, we went to WalMart to pick up a few items.  Later in the day, Tropical Storm Isaias blew through.  Another tree from the neighbor’s yard came down across our fence.  Also, one of our trees came down and landed on the deck.  It just missed the roof and back doors.  This was dejavu!  Same thing happened last year when we were here.  Paul will have to dig out the chain saw.  The entire neighborhood is digging out.  Two trees went down on Saxon Avenue, the next block over, and the road was closed.  Thousands of people were without power.  We lost power on and off all day long but not for very long.  Our neighbor a few doors down had a tree go down and take all his electrical lines with it.  The fire department came and cut up the tree and pulled it out into the road.

 25 July 2020 (Sat) – We went to Nicky’s on the Bay for lunch.  The tables were spaced apart.  Lots of them were out on the deck.  All the wait staff was wearing face masks.  Our waitress was very slow and unsure about herself.  She might have been new.  While we were eating, a waitress came running through the restaurant asking if there was a doctor, an EMT, or a nurse in the place. Apparently, something happened at the marine fuel site out on the deck.  We couldn’t see what happened but an ambulance did roll up.

     The cost of the meal was very high.  It don’t know if it is because Nicky’s is a seasonal place and is trying to make its money during the summer or if they jacked the prices up because they can’t have as many people in the place. Either way, it was over $60 for a wrap and a sandwich.  Ouch!

24 July 2020 (Fri) – Finally!  A day with no doctors.  Whew!  Paul got up early and took the truck to WalMart to get an oil change.  He said it looks like WalMart is going out of business.  The shelves are all half stocked.  If you stop to think about it, they get most of their products from China. The pandemic has affected shipments worldwide.  In addition, the U.S. is angry with China for keeping the Coronavirus a secret and has instituted sanctions against them.  WalMart must really be hurting.

     After Paul got home, we went to Home Depot to get a container.  One of our two batteries went bad and Paul bought two new ones.  Now he wants a container to put them in to keep the area more organized.  Home Depot didn’t have much of a selection at all. On the way out, we stopped by the tile area and picked out a tile to do a backsplash in the bathroom.  We couldn’t decide, so we picked up three samples to see which we would like best.

     When I was entering the costs into the budget, Paul discovered that WalMart charged him for the oil that he actually provided.  So he got in the truck and drove back to WalMart to get his $12.47 refunded.

     Miranda is teaching in Pennsylvania again this weekend.  They took Caiden into Queens to stay with his grandmother.  Kenny borrows his mother’s car so Miranda can take their car.  I will miss Caiden.

 23 July 2020 (Thu) – Today was my visit with the oncologist.  It was so disheartening!  My appointment was at 4:15 p.m.  I checked in then after a brief wait, a tech brought me into an exam room and took my vitals.  Thank goodness; no blood draw.  Then I went upstairs and checked in with the receptionist.  I waited about a half hour before the doctor’s admin assistant came and led me to the exam room. I sat there for another half hour before the nurse came in and went over my case.  He spent a lot of time complaining about patients calling and asking for visits or pain medication when they should be going to their primary care physicians. Then he asked me who my PCP was. I felt like it was some kind of criticism.  Was I supposed to be going to a different doctor?

     The nurse left and it was another 20 minutes before the doctor came in wearing a face mask and a full face shield.  He seemed detached and didn’t really hear my complaints.  He said the medication sometimes causes blisters on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet.  Was I having any of those?  He also said the medication can cause AFIB and that the cardiologist should check me for that.  It seems like every visit to the oncologist results in him telling me something else that can happen with this chemo therapy.  He seemed preoccupied and in a hurry to get out.  I felt like I got the bum’s rush.  I came home and started crying.  Which is kind of stupid because the CT scan shows that I am responding to the medication very well.  All the lymph nodes are continuing to shrink.  So what’s my problem?

 22 July 2020 (Wed) – I went to the Good Sam Sleep Center this morning.  I had to sit in the parking lot and call the office to tell them I was waiting.  They called me when the previous patient was done.  When I walked into the doctor’s office after checking in, he excused himself and began to dictate the results of his visit with the previous patient. He stated the patient’s name, the issue, and his diagnosis, all in front of me.  Hasn’t he been briefed on this whole patient privacy thing?  I thought that I should probably step out of the room but with the whole COVID thing, they don’t want people wandering around unsupervised.  When he was done, I told him that I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 15 years.  The cardiologist recommended I do a sleep study because poor sleep can affect heart function and weight.  The doctor said we probably wouldn’t find anything but said he would do the study anyway.  How encouraging is that???

 21 July 2020 (Tue) – I went to the eye doctor today.  I arrived at 9:30 a.m.  When I checked in, I found my appointment was for 10:45 a.m.  It looks like I made the appointment while we were in Alabama and my calendar recorded the appointment as central time, not eastern time.  So the clerk sent me to sit out in my car till it was my turn or the doctor became available sooner.  They called me at 9:50 to come in and brought me right to a test station where they blew air into my eye.  Then she took me to an exam room where I sat for over a half hour.  The doctor came in, put drops in my eyes, and said I am developing glaucoma.  Come back in six months.  Then he was gone.  No discussion, no explanation, no anything.  I complained about some eye discharge and irritation so he prescribed an ointment to put in my eye at bedtime but, again, no explanation or discussion of what the problem is.  It was a very annoying visit.  The doctor was very dismissive.

     Paul put together a 3-minute video of upstate New York.  I posted it on You Tube then contacted SMART with the link. They posted it on the website next to the description of our New York caravan.  

     I went in at 4 p.m. to keep an eye on Caiden while Miranda went to the store. Paul is still grousing about yesterday’s argument.  I have to find a way to get him to lighten up.  Ugh.

20 July 2020 (Mon) – I had a CT Scan with contrast today.  I dropped off a urine sample for Sheba at the vet, then drove to Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.  I checked in at the front desk and asked if my doctor or his nurse was available to see me.  The receptionist said she would contact Dr. Rodriguez and see what he said.  I then went into the imaging area and had the CT scan. That’s such a weird test.  They inject an iodine based solution and it gives a flushed, very warm feeling in the back of the throat and in the crotch. It feels like I wet myself.  The test isn’t very long and I was out of the machine within 10 minutes.

     I returned to the front desk to see about the doctor.  The receptionist said Dr. Rodriguez would change my telehealth appointment for Thursday to an in-person appointment or I could see someone in triage today.  I said I would meet with the doctor on Thursday.

     I got home to find Paul working around the RV.  He was installing a switch for the water pump in the bathroom.  The switch on the main panel stopped working some time ago and Paul installed a switch down in the basement.  That has turned out to be somewhat inconvenient so he moved the switch up into the bathroom.  That should work better for when we have to use the onboard tank for fresh water.

     While we were outside, Paul and Miranda got into a nasty fight.  That was very upsetting for me.  Then we left and went over Travis’ house to help him with some projects.  He has finally gotten an offer for his house and the inspector will be over on Thursday. He wants to clear up a few little things before the inspector arrives.  Paul and Travis worked on repairing a leak in the kitchen sink and on the thermostat for his burner.  I played with the boys then we all enjoyed a meal that Sam prepared.  It was a pleasant evening.

 19 July 2020 (Sun) – We didn’t think Caiden would be able to sit for an hour in church with a mask on so we didn’t go.  At 11:30 a.m. we drove to the Bayside Clam Bar for brunch.  Afterward, we walked along the boardwalk and looked at all the boats in the marina.  There was a dog at one end that the owner let go down on a little spit of sand.  Caiden climbed down and followed the dog around. We took his shoes off so he could step in the water.  The dog was an older black lab and very friendly.  Her name was Sandy.

      After our meal and walk, we returned to the house and I watched Caiden while Paul worked around the house and yard.  Kenny got home at 7:30 p.m.

 18 July 2020 (Sat) – We got Caiden at 10:30 a.m. and then drove to Sue & Bill’s house in the Hamptons for a day of swimming in the pool and barbecuing. Despite the fact that I put sunscreen on Caiden twice, he still burned.  So did I.  His mother will never let me take him to the beach again.  Aaarrgghh!

     After we got back, I stayed with Caiden until his father came home at 10:30 p.m.

17 July 2020 (Fri) – We both went to the dentist today.  The chairs in the office were taped off to ensure adequate spacing between patients.  It only left 4 chairs to use.  The secretary took our temperature and went through a checklist (like the tech did yesterday).  Then we had our teeth cleaned and xrays taken.  I got an excellent rating; Paul has a cavity and has to come back to get it filled.

     We went over Trap’s to visit.  We picked up dinner at Chili’s and brought it to the house.  Travis was working on painting the counter top in the upstairs bathroom.  They are trying everything they can think of to sell their house.  They’ve had lots of lookers but no buyers.  The real estate market is so hot today, I can’t figure out why the house hasn’t gone.  His in-laws put their house on the market and the first visitor bought the house for $5,000 more than they were asking.  The only stipulation was that they had to be out in 30 days.

     Miranda’s cat was showing some kind of neurological issue today.  It was walking against the side of cabinets like its left side was weak and it couldn’t stand by itself.  Miranda contacted us while at Trap’s and asked about bringing her cat, Liath, to the vet.  We hurried home to help but the vet said it was not life threatening and to wait until Monday to bring her in.  Miranda was concerned because she is leaving tonight for Pennsylvania and will not be back until late Sunday.  I promised to keep an eye on the cat.

 16 July 2020 (Thu) – We both went to the cardiologist today.  I was doing a follow-up to my “incident” in March. Paul went because he has hypertension and should be seen by a cardiologist.

     When we arrived, we were met at the door by a tech who asked us a bunch of questions about where we’ve been and who we’ve been near.  He took our temperature and then let us pass.  We walked in and was processed by a clerk.  Then we were brought back to the exam room.  The PA came in, went over our medical histories, took our blood pressure, and did EKGs on both of us.

     Then the doctor came in.  I liked him instantly.  He is young – in his late 20s/early 30s.  He was upbeat and very friendly, touching elbows as a form of hello.  He thinks I had a TIA and felt the neurologist was wrong to think I had a TGA.  He recommended I get an EEG, an ambulatory EEG, and have a loop recorder inserted in my chest.  He feels it is possible that I have atrial fibrillation (AFib) and the recorder will measure my heartbeat and send messages to the office.  I would wear it for 3 or 4 years!  I said I had to check that one with my oncologist.

      Then it was Paul’s turn.  The doctor referred him for a nuclear stress test.  He also recommended that Paul resume taking the baby aspirin every day (he stopped a year ago because of a medical report that said baby aspirin didn’t help to prevent strokes.  

 15 July 2020 (Wed) – We worked around the RV until 11:30 a.m. then we took Sheba to the vet.  It was over an hour in which the vet’s office displayed confusion and chaos.  First, I called to say we were outside for our appointment.  About 20 minutes later, one of the vets came out to gather information then went inside. Ten minutes later he came out to get Sheba.  Again, the office was not able to get through to my phone and the vet came out to tell me to call them.  I called and spoke with Dr. Thode.  She took blood and gave Sheba shots.  Dr. Thode also said the blood results were back for Bonnie.  She has round worm and a low liver value.  She prescribed medicine for the worms and recommended an ultrasound for the liver.  After waiting 10 minutes, I called the office to see what was happening.  They were just finishing up and would send Sheba out. The vet brought Sheba out, went over the highlights of her exam, and said the office would call to get payment. After another 15 or 20 minutes, I called to make the payment.  The clerk took my card number three times because the machine wasn’t working properly. Then the vet tech came out with the paperwork.  Paul asked about the medicine for Bonnie.  They forgot it so she went back in to get it.  She brought it out but stated they had forgotten to charge us for the medicine so I had to call again to give the credit card number.  They brought the receipt out along with the stuff to get a urine sample from Sheba.  We left but I got a phone call about 10 minutes later saying they forgot to charge us for the bloodwork they did on Sheba so I had to call back again and give the card number again.  What a debacle!

     Late this afternoon, Caiden came knocking on the door.  He came in and played for a while then I made dinner for the three of us. He ate a small part of his meal but seemed to enjoy it.  I brought the left overs into the house for Miranda and Kenny, or to keep and reheat for Caiden tomorrow.

 14 July 2020 (Tue) – I had an appointment with the neurologist this morning. This was the same doctor that found the tumor in my mother’s brain 36 years ago.  He has gotten very personable over the years.  I liked him very much.  He said the incident I experienced in March was most likely Transient Global Amnesia (TGA).  Just to be careful, he recommended three different tests but stated that he doesn’t expect to find anything.  Apparently, a TGA can happen at any time and never happen again.  Or, it can happen again once or multiple times.  If it happens many times then you would have to get checked for seizure activity in the brain.  Luckily, I have not had any problems since that one time.

     I played with Caiden a little tonight.  We didn’t get much time together but it was still fun.  He loves battle sequences.

13 July 2020 (Mon) – We took Bonnie to the vet this morning.  She needed a refill on her flea and tick medicine. She got a checkup and a couple of shots. It was so weird.  When we arrived, we called the office and were instructed to stay in the truck.  After about 20 minutes, a vet tech came out.  He took down Bonnie’s information and reason for her visit then went back inside. He came back about 10 minutes later and took her inside.  We sat in the car until the doctor called.  We discussed our concerns and what the doctor found and recommended.  Five minutes later, the clerk called to get our credit card number for the bill.  A whopping $950!!!  After about another 15 minutes, Bonnie was brought back out to us.  Then we waited ANOTHER 15 minutes for the clerk to bring out medicine and the bill.  What a pain in the butt.  And we will have to do it again with Sheba.

     Kenny was off of work today, so Caiden stayed in the house nursing his sunburn and playing with his parents.  Paul worked around the yard and I did paperwork.

 12 July 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning.  They just reopened after holding services digitally on You Tube and FaceBook for months.  There were about 30 people in church.  We had to wear our masks the entire time and still try to maintain 6’ distance from each other.  They didn’t pass the collection plate.  Instead, it sat in the back of the church and the minister asked everyone to drop their donation in the plate when they left.

     After church, Paul and I drove to the Clamside Bar & Grill at the East Islip Marina.  We both enjoyed a salad.  The day was lovely – sunny, but not too hot, with a soft, balmy breeze blowing in off the water.  The sun glittering on the bay was beautiful.

       When we came home, I gathered up Caiden and he and I went to Heckscher State Park. I figured the beach would be closed but we could walk along the shore, throw stones in the water, build sand castles, and wiggle our toes in the water.  Boy, was I surprised to find the beach open, complete with lifeguards. There were many people on the beach and in the water but they still were all keeping a decent distance between each other.  The water was so warm; like a bathtub.  There was lots of wave action and a delightful breeze kept the heat away.  I did not have a bathing suit so I stood on the shore with my feet in the water, getting splashed well up the legs. Caiden went in and had a great time. Unfortunately, I forgot to put sunscreen on him and he got burned.  His mother yelled at me.  

     When we left the beach, I stopped at Carvel and got Caiden some ice cream. The perfect end to a perfect day.

 11 July 2020 (Sat) – Paul worked in the yard most of the day.  I entertained Caiden a good part of the day.  At 4:30 pm, we went over Travis’ house.  We shared a salad and pizza then spent two hours playing with Noah and Hudson.  The baby is on the verge of walking.  He has very good balance.

10 July 2020 (Fri) – It was an overcast day with rain on and off. Tropical Storm Fay was pummeling the Jersey coast today but we didn’t get it too badly.  Paul and I went shopping at PetCo for pet food and ShopRite for some groceries.  Boy. Was the grocery store crowded!  And we forgot to bring our own bags so the cashier charged us for 3 bags.  Glad we didn’t buy a lot.

     Caiden wanted to come into the trailer so badly today but the weather was lousy and I wasn’t going to put Bonnie out.  Caiden came out and we stood outside in the drizzle talking for about an hour. Later, I went into the house and we played for about 2 hours.

 9 July 2020 (Thu) – We packed up and left Newburgh at 10:45 am.  It took almost 4 hours to drive down to Long Island. We were surprised with all the traffic on the road.  We came through the boroughs and had traffic and construction that caused us to creep along through congested spots.    

      Caiden was so happy to see us!  He ran out and gave me a hug, then ran back to the porch to watch us park the rig in the driveway.  When Paul had the RV positioned well, I had Caiden help finish the set up by pushing buttons to open the slides.  After we were set up, we visited for a bit and watched him swimming in his little pool. After dinner, I took Caiden to Carvel and picked up ice cream for him and Miranda (Kenny was working and Paul and I are on a diet).  We brought it back home and they enjoyed the treat out on the back deck.

 8 July 2020 (Wed) – Just hung around the campground most of the day.  We did run out to fuel the truck and get ready for tomorrow’s move.

 7 July 2020 (Tue) – We visited with the sales manager here at the campground. We had interviewed him last year and reconfirmed the amenities and costs.  The nightly fee actually went down.  He also promised to coordinate a bus tour into New York City for us.  He offered to pick up our order for bagels and juice and even stated he could arrange a catered meal right here in the campground.

     We came back and did laundry then just hung out for the day.

 6 July 2020 (Mon) – We started out for West Point but would up sidetracked to the Historic Huguenot District.  It was two blocks of old stone houses built in the late 1600s/early 1700s by early French settlers.  The visitor’s center was closed and none of the buildings were open.  We walked up and down the street, admiring the architecture from the street.

     We then continued on to the West Point Military Academy.  The visitor’s center was closed, as well as the tour operations office.  There was no one to ask anything of.  The day was a loss in that regard.    

 5 July 2020 (Sun) – We drove over to the Mohonk Mountain House today.  Thought we’d check them out for the farewell dinner and then take a hike around the area.  Unfortunately, they now have a gatehouse to control access to the place. They have us a brochure to look at and a telephone number to call but wouldn’t let us go in.  

     Then we drove by another restaurant but they were closed.  No signs on the door.  We couldn’t tell if they were just closed or if they had gone out of business. Cross them off the list.

     We made a quick stop at the grocery store so Paul could pick up milk for his coffee then returned to the campground.  We got to enjoy another campfire tonight.  Two in a row. Wow.!

     We drove into Newburgh and took a stroll on the Walkway Over the Hudson.  It was an old railroad trestle over the Hudson River built back in the late 1800s.  It was repurposed into a level concrete walkway that stretched for more than a mile and a third.  We walked out to the middle, took a selfie, and walked back.  The day was lovely.  There were lots of people on the bridge – strolling, biking, walking the dog. Almost everyone obeyed the signs and wore a mask.  Some people didn’t.  It was very warm and my mask was wet from sweat by the time we finished our walk. It was a good time.

     We drove to the FDR National Historic Site to look over the presidential library and home.  The visitor’s center was closed.

4 July 2020 (Sat) – We were going to drive to the Mohonk Mountain House today but stayed in the campground instead.  We had a small BBQ and sat before a delightful campfire.  The campground is pretty full with lots of kids.  Bonnie is barking at bicycles, skaters, and walkers. The staff came by yesterday passing out flyers about the pool.  It was going to be open today from 10 to 4.  They were having people sign up for a one-hour block of time.  The pool is limited to 25 people but they were thinking they wouldn’t be able to do that and still have people maintain their distance. We didn’t sign up.  It seemed better to leave the time slots to the kids. Normally, they would spend the whole day in the pool.  This is like a tease.  But I suppose it’s better than nothing.

 3 July 2020 (Fri) – Things have been quiet.  We have been running around trying to line up restaurants for the caravan next year.  We are now at the KOA in Newburgh for a week.  

 30 Jun 2020 (Tue) – We pulled stakes at 9:25 am.  It was a white knuckle exercise in getting out of our site. Paul had to ask the guy behind us to move then he backed up the RV to get out.  Trees and other RVs and yard “stuff” in the area made it impossible to pull out from our pull-through site.  Paul did it perfectly!  He is so good in moving our big monster.  It’s almost like it’s an extension of his physical being.  Just imagine maneuvering 54’ of truck and trailer.  I can’t do it!

     We arrived at Shadowbrook RV Resort at a little past 11:30 am (it was a very short drive).  This campground only has 18 campsites for transients.  Again, we’ve been undone by the seasonal campers.  After set up, we drove to four separate campgrounds and all gave the same answer – no room at the inn!  The last campground we stopped at recommended the KOA up on Route 20. We’ll try them tomorrow.

     We drove by the National Baseball Hall of Fame.  They are on a limited opening.  I left a business card and someone will call me back.  I also sent emails to the tour director for the NY Capitol in Albany and the USS Slater.  Communications continue with other venues as well.

 29 Jun 2020 (Mon) – We drove to another campground this morning to check it out.  It turned out to only have 4 available campsites for transients.  The rest are filled with seasonals.  Too bad.  It was a really nice campground right on Saratoga Lake.

     On the way back to the campground, we refueled for tomorrow’s trip and picked up chicken and water.  Bonnie has diarrhea again.  It just seems to be something that she’s going to go through on a regular basis no matter what we give her.

 28 Jun 2020 (Sun) – We left Ticonderoga at 9:20 a.m.  It rained a little in the three hours it took us to arrive at Adventure Bound RV Resorts & Campground.  The campsite we got was very tight while Paul had to maneuver around a parked van, trees, and lawn decorations.  This campground, although very large (over 300 campsites), would not suit our group and many campers are seasonal.  The RV next to us hasn’t been moved in years.

     As soon as we were set up, we headed out.  First stop was at Chili’s for lunch.  We both had a grilled chicken salad.  Tummies full, we drove to four different campgrounds.  Two wouldn’t fit the group, one had no one in the office, and the other took our phone number to give to the owner.  It was not a very productive day.  Hope things get better tomorrow.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Hannaford to pick up groceries. It was a nice supermarket.  Why can’t we get any of these grocery stores on Long Island?

 27 Jun 2020 (Sat) – It was a light day.  We just hung out around the campground today.  I made some calls and updated the files on what we’ve collected so far.  The poor wifi service here is maddening!  Even the cell service is poor.  I’m glad we won’t be staying here as a group but I worry the other campground might be just as bad.  After all, we are now in the mountains.

 26 Jun 2020 (Fri) – We drove into Lake Placid today.  It is a small town.  The Olympics Museum was closed.  We decided to have the group explore the museum then go out about the town on their own.  There is a lot to see in this little tourist town.  

     We then drove to Whiteface Mountain.  We wanted to drive up the Veterans Memorial Highway to the peak.  Unfortunately, it was $25 per car to drive up.  I thought that was too much money to go up there and find everything closed (not that there is that much up there to see other than the view).  We turned around and left.  

     Right next to the entrance for Whiteface Mountain is Santa’s North Pole Workshop. We came up here twice with the kids when they were little.  The workshop is still there with the post office that will send off a letter or postcard with the North Pole return address.  The park was also closed.

     We drove to Ausable Chasm, the Grand Canyon of the Adirondacks.  It was beautiful.  We spoke with the sales manager and got information on a walking tour, float trip, and lunch at the center.  It will be a nice touch for the group.  Up the hill right next to the chasm center is the Underground RR Museum. It is in a beautiful old stone building. It was closed but a woman stepped out of the building to speak with us.  The cost to explore the museum is free and the place is very small.  Guess we’ll have the group break up into smaller groups to tour the museum.

     We also checked out two other campgrounds.  The KOA seems like the best option at this point.  It would have been nice to stay at the North Pole Hundred Acre Woods Campground but they don’t take groups of more than six rigs.  Oh, pooh!

     After we got back to the campground, we did the laundry.  

 25 Jun 2020 (Thu) – Well, we learned today why a scouting trip is so important. We left 1000 Islands CG and headed out to Ticonderoga, 170 miles away.  The GPS in the truck tried to route us though Canada.  It would have added 100 miles to our trip!  Instead, we followed the route on my phone.  The trip went through Adirondack Park.  We saw mountains but the elevation never got much over 2,000’.  The roads were narrow and winding and the driving was slow but we got here safe and sound.  The scenery is beautiful with occasional glimpses of the lakes and rivers beside the road.

     It turns out that this campground does not have enough campsites for our group – they are mostly for seasonal campers.  Paul went through a list and found an alternative campground.  In fact, he changed two campgrounds for one and we now have another stop on our itinerary.

    After set up, we drove to Brookwood RV Resort and interviewed the owner for a possible stay there.  They are a very popular campground and she suggested we get our reservations in ASAP. The only thing we don’t like is that we wouldn’t all be together.  Everyone would be spread around the campground.

     We drove down the road to another campground owned by the U.S. Forest Service but it was closed.  We then drove into the town of Ticonderoga.  The Star Trek Museum and Fort Ticonderoga were both closed due to the pandemic.  We walked into a luncheonette across the street from the Star Trek Museum to see about a lunch for the group.  Our group could go to the museum at 10, go to lunch at 11 (it’s a little early but that’s what they want), then take a tour of the fort. The other option is to wait on lunch until 2 pm, which is kind of late.  I don’t like either option.

     As we were driving around, we spotted an old stone chapel in a graveyard.  We parked and went in to explore it.  It reminded me of the Viking church on display in DisneyWorld.

 24 Jun 2020 (Wed) – We drove over to Alexandria Bay this morning.  We stopped at U.S. Boat Tours which I had emailed to ask about a tour of the Singer and Boldt Castles.  We checked at the window to find out what time the shuttles and tours ran.  After getting the times, we decided to have the group go to the Boldt Castle at 10 a.m., come back to town, wander the shops, and have lunch.  At 2 p.m., we’ll have everyone come back and take the tour to the Singer Castle.

     Afterward, we drove around the area, checking out different places.  We also drove over to Wellesly Island and looked at the state parks and golf courses there.  We also stopped by the ice cream shoppe in front of the campground to find out about an ice cream social.  They sell 3-gallon containers of ice cream for $45.  The lady suggested butter pecan as an older person’s favorite flavor.

23 Jun 2020 (Tue) – We packed up and left Stow at 9:15 a.m.  The drive was easy but took almost 4 hours.  When we arrived, the office was closed (we had checked in online), and a note on the door told campers to proceed to their assigned site.  After set up, we left a message for the campground manager asking for a meeting.

     We drove to Clayton where Main Street was under construction and closed to traffic. We had seen a delightful hotel with a restaurant years ago that boasted the original Thousand Islands dressing had been invented there.  Unfortunately, the restaurant went out of business.  We spoke with a manager at Bella’s.  The restaurant was pleasant but she said they did not want to have a large group in to dine during their peak season.  She preferred to cater a meal of assorted wraps, salads and desert and suggested we eat at the Antique Boating Museum.

     We drove past both the Thousand Islands Museum and the Antique Boating Museum. They were both closed.  I sent emails asking about admission and meals. This is becoming very frustrating. Many of the businesses that I have sent emails to have not answered.

     When we got back to the campground, we met with the campground camp host.  Whe was very chatty and gave us lots of information about the area.  I have to follow up with an email so she can share it with the owner.

 22 Jun 2020 (Mon) – We drove to Seneca Falls today, noting the mileage to various areas along the way.  Everything we wanted to see was closed.  The National Women’s Hall of Fame, although the name was displayed on the front of the building on Main Street, is no longer there.  A woman in the visitor center told us it was relocated to a mill across the bridge but the coronavirus had stopped the set-up and opening of the center in its new location.  We drove over and saw that it will be 3 stories high and promises to be a good stop. There is also a National Women’s Rights Museum on Main Street and a couple of houses around Seneca Falls that people could tour if they wanted.

     Waterloo, birthplace of Memorial Day, is next to Seneca Falls.  There is an American Civil War Museum and memorial graveyard in town.  I think it would be appropriate to include it in our itinerary but Paul thinks it is too much.  If so, we will certainly have to suggest it as a stop on their own.

     We stopped at Ventosa Vineyards to see about a group lunch after the Seneca Falls tour.  There is a lovely deck area outside overlooking the lake.  The woman we spoke with suggested we send an email to the catering manager.

     We then stopped at Belhurst Castle.  They have a very attractive stone room with an intimate setting for lunch that also looks out at the lake.  The man we spoke with gave us a menu and suggested we coordinate with the catering manager.  I sent emails out to both managers.

 21 Jun 2020 (Sun) – We packed up and left Bath at 9:50 a.m.  It was only 95 miles to Red’s Twilight on the Erie RV Resort in Macedon, near Rochester.  We arrived about noon.  The office was closed.  Our registration packet was sitting on a table.  As we were preparing to drive to our campsite, the owner pulled up and led us to our place.  She was very friendly and gladly agreed to meet with us later.

     After set up, we cased the campground while walking the dog (it was too hot to let Sheba out – 90 degrees!) then went to the office and sat down with Barb. She said they would give us 10 percent off for military discount.  We were all sitting around the table with our masks on and it got very hot.  I was sweating like crazy.  I sure was glad when the meeting was over.

    We drove into Rochester to the George Eastman Museum.  It was closed.  We then drove to The Strong Museum of Play.  That was also closed.  It is a very large museum and looks like it will be fun.  We then drove to a restaurant recommended by Barb.  It was too far from The Strong to have people walk to it so we will have lunch in the museum then explore the museum.  There is a restaurant inside.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Wegmans Supermarket.  What a huge store!  It had to be the largest supermarket we’ve ever been in.  And it was neat and clean and attractive. Everyone in the store was wearing a mask and the staff was actively wiping things down and making sure everything was sanitized.  

 20 Jun 2020 (Sat) – We drove to the Finger Lakes Boating Museum to meet the Administration Assistant and see the wine cellar where they host catered meals.  It is a lovely room and we are sure the group would like it.  We would probably have the tour of the museum first (there are 3 floors in the museum) then go to the bottom floor for a lunch.  

     After meeting with Nancy Wightman, we drove back to the KOA to meet with the Office Manager.  We sat outside at a picnic table, all in our masks, and discussed what they could offer the caravan next year.  Elaine is pregnant and will be out on maternity leave for a while.  This could cause a problem with coordination but we will see how it shakes out.

     While driving out and about, we stopped at a nearby fish hatchery.  It was closed but they had an observation pool with three kinds of trout in it – brown trout, brook trout, and rainbow trout.  What is weird is that the brook trout is the only native species to the area, yet the hatchery doesn’t raise them – only the other two species.

     We drove around to check out some other places.  There is a VA Center and National Cemetery a couple of miles down the road.  We rode around the cemetery looking at the gravestones.  We also gathered information about other services in the area – RV dealers, hospital, clinic, vets, foodstore, etc.

     We had a campfire tonight.  There is nothing more intoxicating that the smell of a campfire.

 19 Jun 2020 (Fri) – We packed up and left Chautauqua at 9:30.  The weather was good and the drive was pleasant.  We arrived at the Bath-Hammondsport KOA around noon.  They had sent an email asking us to pre-register/check-in.  I did that.  When we arrived, Paul stayed in the truck while I went in.  The clerk confirmed our information and gave us our map and paperwork. This is a lovely campground.  We have been here before and am sure the caravan will enjoy the place.

     We drove around town, trying to find a restaurant to have a welcome dinner in. The three restaurants we chose were all too small and two of them were still closed.  The thirde, the Stone Timber Inn, does catering.  We took the chef’s card and left.  On the way back to the campground, we stopped at an American Legion post and took a look at their hall.  We asked about renting the hall and the bartender gave us the rental agent’s phone number along with the commander’s number.  

     The campground is working hard to ensure people are having a good time, despite the spacing restriction from the coronavirus.  They delivered a packet to make s’mores with.  Folks were invited to make s’mores and post pictures on the facebook page. They also gave us free firewood. It made a delightful fire.  They also had a cornhole contest where people who had the game in their rig wee encouraged to play and report their results.

 18 Jun 2020 (Thu) – We went to the office at 9:30 a.m. to speak with the campground owner.  The doors were locked.  Some guy came out in to the hall, looked at us at the door then went back into his office. How rude!  I then called the office and the owner answered.  We sat at the table outside on the deck and interviewed the guy about the facilities and what he would do for the group. Satisfied, we told him we would send a check and wanted to leave him a book.  He said he was in his office.  When we told him the door was locked, he laughed and said he forgot to open it then stepped out and took the book.

    We drove 20 minutes to the Grape Discovery Center to see what it looked like.  It was closed.  We parked and walked around, peeking in the windows.  It looks like it would be a nice experience for our group next year, so we will include it in the itinerary.

     We found a laundromat in a house (ah, country life).  We put the clothes in the washer then drove to a Mazza’s Winery and had a flight of wines.  Then we returned to the laundromat house and put the clothes in the dryer.  We walked around the town of Mayville while our clothes tumbled.

     After we collected the clothes, we drove to Jamestown to check out the Lucy-Desi Museum and the National Comedy Center.  Unfortunately, they, too, were both closed because of the pandemic. This situation is going to make it hard to develop a budget for the caravan.

     Paul located a WalMart and we did some food shopping.  We are starting a diet and needed to pick up all the right kinds of foods.  I just planned 4 days and the frig is chocked full.  I will not be able to shop a week at a time, that’s for sure.

     The check-in time for this campground is 6 p.m. (check-out is 5 p.m.).  We’ve never seen such a late time for check-in. We asked if the owner would put that aside for us when our group comes next year.  

17 Jun 2020 (Wed) – We left Marblehead, Ohio, at 8:20 a.m.  It was a long drive today so we left early.  The drive was over 4 hours and took us along the lakeshore of Lake Erie, through Pennsylvania and into New York.  The campground looks like it was a KOA at one time. Our campsite is a pull through with a concrete surface.  The campground is on Chautauqua Lake.  The pool, the store, and all group centered places are closed due to the pandemic. You have to wear a mask in the office.

     After set up, we drove into Mayville to meet with the operations manager of the Chautauqua Belle paddlewheeler.  He was a young man who seemed to be coordinating a group tour for the first time. We went over is suggested schedule and agreed on an itinerary.  He will draw up a contract and send it to us.

     Then we drove down the road to the Chautauqua Institution.  It is one of the stops on the itinerary Mike put together and we wanted to look at it.  It’s not very clear why we should take a tour of the place.  It seems like a private community with very lovely homes on the lake. The roads are very narrow and seem to wind aimlessly around the neighborhood.  There is a beautiful old hotel where he suggested we have lunch. We wanted to get some information about the place but the visitor’s center was closed.  I’ll have to send an email.

     We drove to Jamestown and picked up food at Pet Smart.  Then Paul drove up the other side of the lake to the center where the interstate crossed the lake.  We got back to the campground at 5 p.m.

[talldrink-o-h2o]

Lifestyle: Buying a New Car

I grew up in Michigan, which you can read about extensively in this post. Everyone in Michigan either was employed by the auto industry (working for the Big 3 – GM, Chrysler, or Ford, as the case was in the ‘90s) or had family who worked in the auto industry. To this day, I know I’m in Michigan because of the lack of foreign cars on the road. I remember people would make racial slurs to my mom for the three years she owned a Toyota Camry, because it was more acceptable to say a racist comment than to drive a foreign car.

As a side note, I went to school in East Lansing from 2004 to 2008. This was when it was becoming mainstream to pay an obscene amount for drip coffee, a trend which continues to this day. East Lansing was home to a startup coffee chain called Beaners. I shit you not. Beaners experienced massive growth in Michigan and started to look to national expansion. They tried to enter into the Texas market. Allegedly the Texas powers-that-be said you can’t have a coffee shop that is named Beaners in Texas. Turns out that this is a racial slur for the migrant workers. Calling a shop this would alienate a good portion of the population. The company has since changed its name to Biggby (pronounced “Big B”) and claim the change had nothing to do with how offensive the name was. Which shows why people in Michigan thought it was okay to tell my mom she drove a rice racer because her car was Japanese.

But I digress. My aunt and grandfather both had worked for GM and my mother’s childhood best friend’s husband was a co-owner of a car dealership (did you follow that?). A person who retires from GM is granted a discount for him/her and their family for life. Because of this, it was insane for our family not to drive GM cars.*

When I turned sixteen, Katrina had conveniently totaled the little Mazda MX3 my dad had bought for her from a woman he worked with. The woman had kept it in mint condition, barely putting miles on it, and my dad got it for a song. One missed stop sign and the car was kaput. Because Katrina was a senior in high school and would be going to Michigan State the next year where she wouldn’t be allowed to have a car, my parents thought it’d be prudent to get us a car we could share for a year and then I could have it to myself my senior year. That’s how we got a year-old silver Pontiac Grand Am. And aside from feigning heartburn at the injustice of it all,** that car would take us all the way through college and follow me to my first year in Minnesota.

The first spring I lived in Minnesota, I had agreed to give my car to my sister, who had finished her MBA and was moving out to Virginia for her first job. This meant I needed a new car. Up until this point, the most I had ever spent on any single purchase was a $200 purse. I came out of undergrad with $20,000 of student loan debt and dumbly chose to live in a brand new apartment in the coolest neighborhood that literally cost more than one of my paychecks. I had no money to put down on a car and the idea of buying anything, let alone taking on yet another loan, made me sick to my stomach. I stayed up many nights talked to Steve about it, whom I had just started dating, and whom has always been much more frugal than me. For instance, he lived with his dad for a few years after undergrad so stockpiled an amount of cash. His favorite activity on the weekend is to determine just how much we’ll be able to save in the coming year and at what age we can retire. He offered to co-sign the loan for me, something I’d obviously need, being “cash poor” as the lady at the bank would later describe me to my dad. On principle, I couldn’t have a man I just started dating as my co-signer (I couldn’t think to the next week, why would I be beholden to this dude for five years?) so I had my dad sign.

The car I chose? A year-old silver Pontiac G6 with 22,000 miles on it. This is the car that replaced the Grand Am, because even though I no longer lived in Michigan, why would I ever buy anything other than American? Also the idea of doing research and going from dealership to dealership seemed daunting and not the same pastime activity in Minnesota as it was in Michigan. Don’t worry, this wasn’t an exact replica of the car I had just driven to my sister. This car was a very practical two-door, my statement to the world that I wasn’t planning to get married or have kids cause they couldn’t fit anyway. I chose it because I thought the trunk was cute. “I like its butt,” I told the salesman.

Fast forward to November 2018. I still have the G6. In the 9.5 years I’ve had the car, I’ve put a whopping 45,000 miles on it, meaning I never drive the thing. The furthest distances she traveled were two trips to Michigan, three trips to Milwaukee, and one time to Chicago. Only recently did I start driving her with any regularity, which is because I finally got access to Target’s restricted parking lot (you can reminisce about my first month parking there here). On an average day, my driving is 3-5 miles round trip. It’s less than two miles total to get to and from work, and if I throw in a class at OrangeTheory, I top out at five miles total.

Do you remember what it’s like to drive around in a 2009 model? There’s no back-up camera. There’s no keyless engine start. There’s no input for a phone to connect and certainly no Bluetooth. The dashboard is digital but not a touchscreen. It’s basically the Stone Age.

But back to money. A lot of people will say that they don’t buy cars because they don’t invest in depreciating assets. Which like, fuck off. If you’re leasing your BMW 5Series every three years that means you’re paying $500+ per month every month with no end. You’re pissing away money that could be used on literally anything else.

I always said I’d keep my car until it was ten years old or hit 100,000 miles, whichever came first, which, based on my habits, is clearly going to be the former versus the latter. Also, though, I really don’t like having a car payment so my intention was to drag this baby out as long as I could and start doing some initial research this spring.

But, like any long-term relationship, my car required some TLC recently. I was driving her when the “Service Tire Monitor” light came on. At the time, it was winter in Minnesota and air pressure in tires is a real thing, so being able monitor the pressure is something, but this seemed more like a nice-to-have, versus a need-to-have. So I put it off. I should also note that the only other time this light came on, I was driving down the road (not the highway, thank God) and the car just completely shut down in the middle of traffic. It was able to turn back on but it did it again a second time. As I learned while running, the symptom is not usually the cause and the car’s computer had to be reset – nothing to do with the tire monitor at all. One might think that story would have led me to quicker action this time around, but it did not.

On a November weekend, I went to a suburb for new running shoes (as discussed here). I was forced to take the scenic route home, because the road to the highway was blocked by some random festival. I had to go through a neighboring suburb where I could catch the highway. As I got close to the highway, literally every light on my dashboard – Check ABS, Check Airbag, Traction Control Off – started flashing.

I was nervous, but not overly concerned, and called Steve, who was watching Purdue football. “All the lights on my dashboard are on and flashing,” I started in.

“Uh huh,” he said, distracted, over the sounds of football in the background.

“Well, I just wanted you to know that if I die, this is why.”

“Okay – I’m going to go back to watching the game,” he hung up, unconcerned.

I figured that since things were going nuts and I clearly needed to reset my car’s computer, I might as well call Firestone. I explained what was going on with my car and asked if they’d have any availability today.

“No. Actually the earliest we can get you in is Monday,” the Firestone man informed me.

“Can I just drop it off today? She’s no good to me – actually,” I cut myself off. “My car is shutting down now. I need to call someone who can help me. Bye.”

My car completely died in a busy intersection. I tried to turn my car to the side street but only managed to be at a sight angle causing a backup in traffic. I tried turning the car on and off many times over, but nothing was happening. Now, I was panicked. I put my hazards on and started sweating. I called Steve, unclear what to do in this situation.

“Now don’t get mad, but, did you try turning it off and on?” Helpful.

“Yes. Duh. Many times. It won’t go back on. I have my hazards on but people keep honking. What do I do?” I was starting to freak, picturing that my death would not be because my car blew up on me, but rather because the cars behind me would not notice and crash into me.

“Uh…well…umm…” I could hear his brain working but also thought that maybe something was happening in the game.

“I’m going to call someone who can help me. Bye,” and I very aggressively hung up the phone on my husband.

I was able to get a tow truck and three really kind men who were walking by pushed my car out of the intersection and into a parking spot. One even started yelling at the people who were honking as he helped. Like the completely sane, rational, strong, independent woman I am, after the men saw I was safe and went back about their day, I started crying.

To move the story along, my tow truck friend Kyle delivered my G6 to the Firestone I had called previously. I called to alert them and miraculously they now had time to fix my car that day. Steve came and got me – I apparently told him the wrong intersection so not only did he have to leave the game, he was sent to the wrong place, so he scolded me for that upon arrival. I apologized but also reminded him that I was a little distracted.

All in, my car needed a new alternator, battery, spark plugs, and fuel flush. It cost me $1000. Everyone told me that was high and Steve had been able to get them to drop off a whopping $50, but as I asked everyone who offered their armchair quarterback advice, what leverage did I have?

The following Tuesday morning, I was driving my car to OrangeTheory when the Service Tire Monitor light came on, again. This time, I was no fool. I called the Firestone guys on my way back home post-class and they told me to bring it in. The man on the phone let me know that checking tire pressure is complimentary.

Great, sir, but when the air pressure needs to be checked, a light comes on that says, “Check Air Pressure,” not “Service Tire Monitor.” I had to explain this twice, but they ignored me and sent me out to the garage to have a mechanic check the air pressure, because what do I know? I’m just the girl who cries when people are kind to strangers and who overpays for auto repair.

Turns out my air pressure was just fine, but, wouldn’t you know it? One of the tire monitors was out. Don’t worry, that was another $250.

All in all, I decided that I at least needed to get my money’s worth and drive my car through the spring, which will be its ten-year anniversary. Then I will begin the hunt for a new car.

On my list? Unfortunately, Pontiac has since been discontinued by General Motors. An Audi Q5, Jaguar E-Pace, and Infiniti QX50. For the first time, I’m going foreign. And I will be looking to lease, not only because that car payment is so much cheaper, but also because, when the Service Tire Monitor light comes on, someone else will pay the $1250.

 *This obviously didn’t stop my mom from not only owning the aforementioned Camry, but also a Ford van (not a mini-van because apparently owning a mini-van is worse than owning one of those huge vans with the sliding doors that pedophiles drive around in).

**Really my brothers should be the ones complaining. Keith, the eldest, had to buy the Beretta he drove with money he collected from the paper route. He would later inherit my mom’s Ford van, which turns out is the exact wrong thing to give a high schooler unless you want to promote kids getting drunk in the spacious back area. My other brother, Kent, drove a Dodge Diplomat which was more or less a land yacht. It had this big, cushy leather seats that could fit two people each and, unfortunately, the heater only worked sporadically – a problem in Michigan winters – and when it did work, it’d make a really loud noise. He’d proceed to hit the dashboard hard with his fist until the sound stopped. I think a barely used Grand Am to share with my sister was luxury.

[itsworn]

A Week Of Daily Driving, Pie Pickup, And A Goodbye To Conner Assembly In A 2017 Viper ACR Voodoo II

Elana’s Story

The big wing jutted up in the parking lot like a mesa on the edge of Texas flatland. “Drop me off there,” I instructed the airport shuttle driver, and she raised an eyebrow at my schlubby travel clothes and ripped purple suitcase as she opened the bus doors. I was in Detroit for a week of filming with Roadkill, culminating in a Viper plant tour and the Roadkill Nights racing at M1 Concourse. Dodge asked if I needed a get-around car for the visit, and nothing gets you around like a 2017 Viper ACR special edition Voodoo II. The Voodoo first came out as a limited model ACR in 2010, and the 2017 model uses the same glossy black base with accents of red and silver, more black widow spider than snake. “Does Batman know you have his car?” asked my husband when I texted him a photo.

I squeezed my ragged luggage in the trunk and scooted the seat up until I could reach the clutch. I couldn’t really get out easily from that position, but I had a Viper for a week. Why would I ever want to get out? “Oh this car, this car is a man-catching machine!” said the parking lot attendant as I waited for the arm to come up, and she was right. I got two rings waved at me on the highway as I headed for Pontiac, Michigan. “Marry me!” shouted the passenger in a beat-up Cavalier.

Any of you who are regular readers know that if I was in a marryin’ mood, it would be the Viper I’d propose to. I’ve spent some serious daily driver time in various models of the snake, and I’ve enjoyed every second of it. The ACR is a nastier animal than the SRT or GTS configurations. It wanders and argues about low-speed steering changes and uneven lanes. It stops so fast you’ll punch the center display with your downshifting hand if you don’t have a grip on the shifter baseball, and it transmits every pothole and pea of gravel directly to your lower back no matter how many mattresses you’re sleeping on, princess. I loved it anyway, and a good thing, since Freiburger and Finnegan were filming at Milan Dragway, a good 60 miles from my hotel in Pontiac. 120 mile roundtrip for multiple days? Pricey for gas, priceless for joy.

In between commuting to the dragstrip, I also used the Viper for normal activities, like finding the best pie in the area (Achatz Pies in Beverly Hills, MI), creeping it nervously through a thunderstorm, and teaching one of our video guys how to drive stick (he did real good, no clutches harmed). My love for the Viper remained undimmed, and I was happy to get to win a few other people over to it. At the end of the week, Hot Rod Garage host, Tony Angelo, and I managed to fit all our gear into the back, and I offered him the keys for the drive to the airport. “I don’t really like Vipers that much,” he said, but he was willing to give the ACR a try. A few strong pulls later and he was giggling as foolishly as I had been all week. “It’s like a real race car, oh, it’s fun!”

2017 is a bittersweet year for Viper fans. Dodge is ending production, and Viper clubs all over are gathering to pay tribute to the snake. With that intro, let me turn it over to Benjamin Hunting, who took the Voodoo to the closing of Conner Assembly plant–the nest where Vipers are hatched.

Ben’s Story

“What serial number is that one?” I’m asked almost immediately after parking at Detroit’s Conner Ave Assembly Plant and stepping out of my ride for the day. This is the birthplace of Chrysler’s most potent – and most significant – sports car, where Dodge is celebrating 25 years of Viper production, and the front lawn is replete with as many examples of the V10-powered coupe as I’ve ever seen gathered in one place.

“001,” I reply, after hastily checking the dash plaque. This conversation would repeat itself throughout the day, requiring me to repeatedly assert my non-ownership of the black-with-red-striped Voodoo II packages Viper ACR, a one-of-31 edition that loads every single option into the track-ready monster. It’s a testament to the staying power of the Dodge SRT Viper’s over-the-top image that rolling in to a field of over 200 similarly-styled snakes in a Voodoo II package ACR still draws a crowd.

“Oh, I’ve got #006 waiting for delivery next week,” came the reply from the man admiring the car’s “I”LL CUT YOU!” vents on the front fenders and overpass-threatening wing perched on the rear deck. “I’m going to try to see if they’ll let me near it inside the factory. I honestly can’t wait.”

That’s right – they’re still building Vipers here at Conner Ave, although for how much longer is anyone’s guess. If you were to judge by the exuberant atmosphere on this sunny Saturday morning, you’d be hard-pressed to call this gathering a funeral for a friend – or, more accurately, a beloved family member. Dodge may have canceled the Viper after a quarter century of near-continuous production, but judging by the high spirits of the owners gathered here today, the party has no plans of stopping any time soon.

The inside of the plant is almost completely open, letting us wander throughout its massive confines hemmed in only by the yellow safety tape that keeps us from accidentally activating any important Viper-making machinery (or walking out with a souvenir or two). The further down the line you get, the more complete the frames, body panels, and engine assemblies become, culminating in the snake pen at the end of the building where finished rides await the chance to put a smile on the faces of their new owners. I strain to spot Voodoo II #006, but it remains elusive.

Of course, customer cars aren’t the only denizens of Connor Ave, as Dodge has put a number of significant Viper models on display for the faithful. There are Le Mans winners, prototypes, one of the earliest RT/10 models known to still exist, and land speed record holders all sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, along with a single Plymouth Prowler (that easily forgotten son-of-Conner-Ave) tucked way off in a corner. Wall art tracks the development of the Viper from Gen I to Gen V, with unusual, never-produced variants mixed in to catch the eye of the devoted. On my way out the door I overhear an SRT engineer talking about how he snagged one of the six dual-cam VVT Viper engines that were ever built before it could be sent to the scrap yard. As job perks go, that’s a pretty damn good one.

Back on the lawn, it’s time to take a picture and then get this show on the road. After being captured in all their multi-colored glory by the photographer dangling high overhead, most of the cars around me get ready for the next stage in the day’s celebrations, a 15-mile, police-escorted parade from the plant to the M1 Concourse in Pontiac where Roadkill Nights is staging street legal drag races on Woodward Avenue and reserving a paddock just for Viper owners. In a cacophony of choppy cams and flashing blue lights a phalanx of Detroit’s finest sail in on their police bikes, lining up along the side of the road to lead us from the promised land.

Just before getting back into the Voodoo II, I find myself talking to Wes from Maryland, a self-described “military knucklehead” who’s in the middle of transplanting a Gen V body onto a Gen IV frame. “I picked up a wrecked Gen V for $25,000, but I couldn’t get a new frame anywhere,” he tells me. “So I’m here at the plant taking as many pictures as I can of all the chassis and platform details so I can figure out what needs to get cut, stretched, and moved to make everything play nice together.”

He says that ever since he put pictures of the project online, he’s gotten so many questions and messages of support about it that he’s gotten more done in the last 30 days than he did in the first six months. “It was originally a Carbon Edition car, but when I’m done with it it’ll be a T/A.” This fantastic Frankenstein creation will also probably be the most Roadkill Viper on the planet.

Our conversation is cut short by an official looking finger pointed in my direction by someone holding an equally official looking clipboard, directing me to line up two cars behind the Dodge Law Enforcement Viper that’s leading the pack (behind the actual, badge-carrying officers riding in the Dodge Chargers). I’m honored to be at the tip of the fang as we pull out of the assembly plant to begin the slow, raucous, and exceptionally loud convoy to M1. My side mirrors are filled with gearheads of all ages taking pictures and waving from the sidelines, Vipers stretching back as far as the eye can see (it’ll take one and a half hours for all 200 cars to make it to the paddock) police bikes that blaze by with startling regularity to block off side streets and make our lives easier while introducing misery into the weekend commutes of unsuspecting Detroiters.

Suddenly, I’m distracted from the reverie around me by an insist message on the Viper ACR’s gauge cluster. It’s not telling me how awesome the car is, or how incredibly fortunate I am to be given the keys to this beast for a ceremonial cruise: it’s pointing out how stupid I must be to have forgotten to fill the tank before leaving the hotel this morning. LOW FUEL, LOW FUEL the car complains, and it’s with a cold clarity that I realize I’m about to be “that guy” – the one who ran out of gas driving in car he doesn’t even own in a parade of Vipers.

Anxiously, I text Elana, Roadkill EIC and the caretaker of this ACR for most of the previous week to ask how far I can drive with the gas light on. “Maybe 30 miles,” she replies, but at these slow, stop-and-go speeds I can foresee a flatbed in my future should I decide to push my luck. It’s then that fate intervenes. In a bid to bunch up the long trail of cars behind us, the entire parade grinds to a halt at an intersection marked by a Marathon station, its faded logo shining like a beacon to under-prepared idiots like me.

I crank the wheel and screech in to the closest fuel pump, which of course refuses to accept my Canadian credit as a legitimate form of legal tender. Cursing my useless plastic, I run into the gas station where I accost a very confused attendant holding a mop and a bucket. “It’s the car with the giant wing!” I exclaim, stuffing a $20 bill in his hand and spinning on my heel to run back to the pump. Seconds later 91 octane is flowing into the ACR’s greedy tank in my best approximation of a NASCAR pit stop, to the hoots and laughter of genuine Viper owners passing me by at speeds low enough to register the shame on my face.

My twenty bucks spent, the pump clicks and I’m back behind the wheel, angling the ACR’s aero-laden front clip carefully back down onto the street. Eventually, another snake wrangler takes pity on me and a hole opens up in the line, letting me sneak into the parade, tail between my legs. It’s then, however, that I realize I’ve been presented with perhaps the rarest of opportunities: four clear lanes of boulevard, a sympathetic police escort, and a chance to snag my number 3 spot and extend the stock car racing metaphor as much as possible.

Throwing caution, and perhaps my last ounce of reasonable doubt to the wind, I pull out of line and hammer the throttle as much as I dare, blasting past ten, then twenty, then fifty crawling Vipers at a whopping 45-mph, fingers crossed that the cops still zooming down the street in the far lane will ignore my lack of decorum until I can regain my position at the front of the pack. In my mind I can picture scowling faces in imaginary Detroit Race Control screaming into headset mics and commanding my crew chief to send me to the “tail-end of the longest line,” but fortunately for everyone my fantasies don’t ever manifest themselves that fully in the real world. It’s not until the lead car is in sight that a uniformed officer in a patrol car pulls up beside me and suggests commands me to “get back in line!”

Once I’ve obliged, the rest of the trek to the M1 grounds is pleasantly uneventful – or rather, as uneventful as a train belching over a hundred thousand horsepower through sidepipes can realistically be on public streets. Parking the car on the concourse, I look down at the fuel gauge before shutting the car off and realize that had I not made my pit stop, I definitely would still be out there on the boulevard instead of here with the Roadkill Nation, celebrating not just the Viper, but every car out there killed by bean counters, market forces outside their control, or changing tides at the company that brought them into the world. As row after row of ACR, GTS, RT/10, GTC, GT, and T/A cars pull in alongside each other, however, I realize that the Viper family isn’t just steel, glass, and big honkin’ V10s – it’s muscle, love, and heart. And none of that is going away any time soon.

  The post A Week Of Daily Driving, Pie Pickup, And A Goodbye To Conner Assembly In A 2017 Viper ACR Voodoo II appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

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[catertochemicals-blog]

It’s Monday as fuck over heeeere.

Hi. It’s Monday. I ate like an entire bag of whole foods Dorito’s and now feel like really sick and really salty. I’m going to do what I’ve been doing during work lulls where I need to sound like I’m typing & recap my weekend and get into the drudgery of my daily life. 

Friday night J and I stayed home and drank margaritas and smoked pot and facetimed C because we didn’t feel like doing anything as it was the day of Trump’s (gagging) inauguration. I’m dying, we are all dying. I am still in disbelief that this is ACTUALLY happening, and whatever I thought my country was has been shattered. The country is fucking doomed because now we are literally Russia. Run by an megalomaniac oligarch. Whatever. I don’t even have words to describe how this feels right now, and I probably wont, ever. Just that the human race is full of fucking idiots who do not give a shit about common decency or their fellow human beings. All you all the time. Vomit.

Ummm so anyways Friday night was a party. Had a good time watching....... something. Maybe even ANTM, I don’t remember. Saturday, J went to ride and I worked out at Orange Theory and went to the grocery and liquor store because randomly I invited MT over for dinner and drinks. I made blood orange cosmos that weren’t very good, and really dry chicken breasts stuffed with goat cheese and sun dried tomatoes. MT brought super delicious mashed potatoes and saved the day. Unexpectedly, I had a GREAT time, and we spent the night talking and cracking up and being sarcasatic assholes. It was super fun. We hung out at our place, then rode over to Rayback for beers and then came home. In the morning, the three of us went to Boxcar for coffee and then M left and J and I got an oil change and ran some errands involving our bikes and stuff. We hung out with G and A at Backcountry and ate wings and drank beer and watched the Greenbay/ATL game which was shockingly super fun to watch. I got super buzzed and felt great, then went home and crashed to watch TV and be a Sunday person on the couch. J grabbed us some cheese and crackers and we snacked and watched the James Bond movie, Spectre, which also weirdly turned out to be really good and I liked it a lot which is unlike me. I was in bed by 9:30 and now it’s gd Monday.

The Subaru’s “check engine” light came on today on my way to work which is shitsville, USA, because I really want to go to IKEA and just dump buckets of money out for two rugs and some dining chairs and a bookcase. I get paid tomorrow so hopefully whatever is wrong with the car won’t be expensive or a big deal. Fingers crossed. I’m taking it to get looked at on Wednesday.

Also: My boss and A are coming to CO tomorrow night and will be in the office Wednesday and stuff, which will be a fun way to spice things up. Today has been good; I’ve listened to a ton of podcasts and played a lot of solitaire and got some great news that a piece that had been a straight up nightmare had gotten approved and it feels good to have all that behind me, as I was stressing out over sucking at this job and not having any answers etc. etc.

Tonight I have to go workout, ugghdljg. I really don’t like going, like, at all. But I know if I cancel this gym membership, I will literally never exercise and just sit at my desk all day then lay on my couch all night and get really fat and die of heart disease. So... I guess I gotta keep on going. Blrhhhhhhh. I think it’s working though: I’m not actively getting fatter and I feel like I look kind of hot naked even though I’m still ever so slightly chubby. Whatevs k bye.