#but also like he would not be humoring Jace's bullshit

[fluffydisneyprincess]

Green Eyed Envy

So @jaesxnuwu​ basically said have at it with his characters and world. When he was talking about introducing Inari it reminded me of my own blond haired pain in the ass. Which got me thinking. So this is sort of a mashup between his world and mine. This would technically be part 2 of 3 but um... The first part is privated bc I don’t post nsfw and um... so will the second part for the same reason. Wildly different types of nsfw and I’m gonna try to pull in Inari for part 3.

Jace waited, biding his time as the humans went this way and that on the street. She was on her phone. He was paying more attention to his lunch. They got so wrapped up in what was in front of them. Not that he was much older, but he grew up knowing he would be immortal. It made waiting for things easier knowing you had time to do it. Which was why he wasn’t entirely sure how long he had been relaxed on this bench now, but it was at least a few hours. It was worth the wait though when he spied the dark head of hair he’d been waiting for. 

“Heyyy buddy!” Jace called with a grin, throwing his arm around the other man’s shoulders. He felt the other form tense, quickly assessing whether Jace was a threat. 

“Get your arm off me. I don’t like being touched.” The Captain’s voice was as icy as his eyes. Jace grinned wider. 

“Oh good, I don’t like someone touching my things either, but see there’s a bit of a problem,” he jerked on the Captain’s shoulders, forcing him into walking. It took more effort than he was expecting. Jace might have been impressed if he hadn’t already decided he hated him. “You touched something of mine first, my buddy,” Jace continued, all joviality. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get. Your. Arm. Off. Me.” The Captain’s voice dropped a few degrees. Jace couldn’t help it. He laughed. 

With one smooth swing, he pulled the Captain off the sidewalk and into a side alley where they wouldn’t attract attention. Jae tried to grab his arm, he was quick for a human, but Jace blocked the attempt and had his forearm pressed to the Captain’s throat. He grinned with sharp white teeth, emerald eyes glinting dangerously. 

“Before you try to do anything particularly... chilly, I’m going to warn you that I can melt those blades just as fast as you can make them. Who do you think would run out of energy first?” Jace could see Jae weighing his chances in his eyes. Wonderful. He was spunky but not impulsive. No doubt Jae was thinking he could try out maneuvering him, but the man clearly wasn’t stupid. By now the Captain had caught on that something wasn’t right with him. 

Not like he had been trying to hide it. Adria would probably be pissed. 

“What of yours have I touched?” Captain Jae looked unamused, tired, and one bad remark away from trying his luck anyway. Jace was truthfully hoping to avoid it. If Jae actually managed to out maneuver him he’d either end up dead or in prison. Both would be less than ideal. If he outed himself as a magic user there might more questions than he could answer without outing himself in other ways. And that would be dangerous for more than just him. 

“That pretty new recruit. I know exactly what happened.” The grin on Jace’s face became tight and forced. 

“Recruit Mason?” Oh sweet hells, he actually had the audacity to play dumb. 

“Adria,” Jace corrected him. “Don’t play with me. I can tell when you lie. I can sense every sin you experience right now. Like that small spike of lust you tried to bury when I said her name.” Jae’s jaw tensed but he said nothing. Smart. He knew when he’d been caught. “Yeah, imagine the day she came to see me and your energy was all over her. She fucking reeked like freezerburn and that smell only humans carry. When I asked her about it and she wouldn’t meet my eyes I knew exactly who she’d been with.”

“How is what she does any of your business? She’s not a possession,” Jae sounded like he was losing his patience. That made two of them.

“Possession? No, but there’s no one in this city more deserving of her. She’s like royalty and even if you’ve got some skills, magic, and pretty baby blues... You’re still human.”

Jae’s patience was up. He caught Jace’s wrist and twisted it away from his neck. The sudden brace of a chill told him he had summoned an ice blade. Oh great. There was no way of getting out of this easily now. If he seriously hurt the human, Adria wouldn’t forgive him anytime soon. And she could wait him out. Just as quickly as Jae had moved, Jace was facing him. One hand caught the icy blade and he hissed as the magic tore through his skin and into his hand before he could summon up enough fire to keep it from slicing directly through him. 

“If you have a problem with who she decides to spend her time with, I’d suggest taking that up with her.” The Captain looked entirely unphased by the damage he’d inflicted or the way Jace had managed to stop it. Jace was suddenly glad his bluff hadn’t been called sooner. The amount of energy it was taking to keep the blade dull enough to not slice through his hand was astonishing. This guy had power. 

“I will make you regret this,” Jace promised through gritted teeth.

“I’m sure you will.” The blade disappeared, leaving Jace’s hand to bleed freely. Without looking back Jae walked away. Jace clutched his bloody hand into a fist as he watched him go. The insult of Jae turning his back on Jace wasn’t missed. It made him reconsider risking the decades or centuries of silence Adria would give him for killing him. 

Jace ground his teeth. He’d been wrong. The Captain was just as stupid as he thought. Didn’t he know? You don’t ever touch what belongs to a demon.

[missisjoker]

Monday rumblings about Cregan Stark

I feel like the fandom collectively decided that Cregan Stark is this broody, solemn, always serious man whose smile is a rare treasure, like a warm day in winter.

And I get it; he is very straight-forward, right down to business, no-bullshit type of a guy (which is understandable, considering the conditions he lives in, and lives he must protect on a daily basis).

I also understand how he would be cold and reserved at first, cautious of anyone he doesn't know (case in point: Jace), and guarded (considering his closest family tried to usurp him, why wouldn't he be?)

And yes, he would be a giant loving teddy bear to his wife and kids.

But where's his mischievous side? Where's his adventurous and dangerous side?

Why are we all missing that

He is incredibly smart - he managed to oust his usurper uncle at the age of 16 by sheer will and wits. That says a lot.

He has a dry, sharp sense of humor. Yes, you don't get it much from 3 minutes of screen time, but if you read the books, it's THERE. Even the jab at Jace ("you had the mercy of not threatening me with your dragon") is right there, and it's FUNNY. Give me more sarcastic and dark-humored-Cregan!

He is a charismatic person- first of all, some generic schlob wouldn't get 3 wives, one of which was Aly Blackwood. Like, that just doesn't happen unless you're filthy rich (which Cregan is not). So I doubt he could've gotten that just by being this cold and broody and grumpy Wolf. No, there's plenty of charisma there. Second of all, he got the Riverlords look up to him the moment he reached their armies. He didn't even DO anything much, just SHOWED UP, and got them all blushing like maidens. That doesn't sound to me like fear or respect or general unease that you get next to a respectable, strong personality. It sounds more like a crush to me, if i'm being honest.

He is adventurous, he loves danger, and you can't convince me otherwise. A peace/safety-loving man would not threaten to attack 3 separate kingdoms just because he felt like it.

And he is also deeply wounded inside. He lost his mother young, so he never had a loving warm embrace of his mom. He lost his brother and his father when he was what, a teen? He was an orphan, while his closest remaining family was scheming behind his back. That kind of betrayal wounds deep. He lost his wife to a child bed, and i'm sure deep down he feels guilty about it (even though it's not his fault at all). So, there's a lot of insecurity and guilt and loneliness deep inside him- he is probably touch-starved, he likely wants to be praised and told that yes, he IS good enough to be a leader/husband/father. That the person he might open his heart to will never betray him, and never leave him- come hell or high water, they will be there for him. He even maybe, deep down, wants a person who he could be weak with. Not whiny or capricious, but weary. He is YOUNG, and he carries so much on his shoulders. He needs someone who would let him put his head down to their arms let it go, even if just for a moment.

He is smart, strong, quick-witted with dry sense of humor, but he is also an orphan and a widower with a Kingdom to run in the harshest of conditions.

I just feel like we are all concentrating on this "standard" Stark-ish description of him but missing the depth of his character. There's so much to explore...

Ok, rant over.

And yes, I just want to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him like a giant grumpy northern burrito.

[ladyhindsight]

Of Morgenstern family history, inconsistencies as to previous books and plot, and me generally just not getting it.

Not as glorious as she makes it sound because it was less to do with glory and more to do with stupidity. First she makes the demons aware of her presence and then tries to battle them with ornamental axes, which probably would be funny if I had more tolerance for Clary’s bullshit.

Back to the point I made in chapter 12: Why does it matter where to rune is placed? The series has barely told us anything about the workings of runes, it has barely made any sense with the use of them. Do you benefit more having the mendelin rune where Clary has it or does it actually matter?

I don’t understand how unbuttoning a shirt hides any stains.

Sebastian and Clary talk about stuff: what the demons were talking about, Sebastian telling Clary about the plan but actually lying, how Sebastian thinks Valentine was wrong etc. Sebastian then invites Clary to join him on one of his excursions in order for him to prove himself to her. Then we cut to Team Good

This idiot is surprised that Alec defended his sister and didn’t let his boyfriend air out his frustrations unfairly on her. It is to drive the wedge further down, not that Alec would otherwise defend Isabelle since none of them defend each other when actually some standing up is required.

Team Good get the news about Luke being awake, and they begin to plan for the summoning of Raziel. Not a lot happens there on that front, and we’re back with Sebastian and Clary.

Clary has already commented on Sebastian’s looks in the beginning of the book. I don’t get why this point needs to be reiterated here just because he gets glances from girls.

“So this was what her brother looked like. Really looked like, alive and moving and animated. A pale face, all angles and planes, tall and slim in black gear. His hair was silvery white, not dark as it had been when she had first seen him, dyed to match the color of the real Sebastian Verlac’s. His own pale color suited him better. His eyes were black and snapping with life and energy.” –Chapter 3 “Bad Angels”

And it's not even the first or the last time Clare keeps describing him like this.

Fucking really.

→ It’s because it is the only sense of humor Clare knows how to write.

→ Jace doesn’t smile either. He smirks and grins like an ass.

→ Sebastian just said that Clary didn’t kill Valentine. Valentine died because of Clary.

→ Here they are having one of their many you are just like me, no I am nothing like you, oh but you are, I am not because kjdsakldjsl arguments. Many more to come…

→ Funny how Clary never thought to ask Jocelyn about her middle name. Seraphina would’ve been a lot cooler, but also a lot more on the nose and edgy.

→ Clarissa Seraphina Morgenstern. Pretty cool. It’s probably all those Rs that make it sound strong. But Clarissa Adele Fairchild suits her character better.

I did enjoy this part where Sebastian tells Clary about the Morgensterns. It was interesting.

It’s funny how Sebastian paints Jocelyn as the villain and ruthless woman who betrayed her husband in the cruelest of ways, simultaneously brushing past all the horrible things Valentine did to her and was as a person.

Sebastian and Clary then arrive at a place where Clary meets a disgraced Iron Sister Magdalena.

Glad that that plot hole has finally been answered. In the fifth book and not where it was supposed to be.

However, in City of Bones, Luke explains that the Circle ”allied themselves with demons—the greatest enemies of Shadowhunters—in order to procure weapons that could be smuggled undetected into the Great Hall of the Angel, where the Accords would be signed.”

So where do we stand on that now since it was apparently Magdalena who armed them? Also why would they need an Iron Sister arming them when they were just good ol’ regular Nephilim with the access to weaponry anyway? Did Clare just try to cover a plot hole with a nonsensical answer?

Not even the Parisian ones passing by?

Sebastian hands over the chunk of adamas for Magdalena to craft into what he asked. Which we know is a cup. Clary and Sebastian start to leave, and Magdalena makes a comment how they look exactly like their parents. Which fair, because they are the exact copies of them where looks are concerned.

[normal-thoughts-official]

I missed sassy Alec in later seasons. They treated his snark as closeted angst and mostly dropped it once malec were together. Call me caddy but I wanted scenes of magnus and Alec absolutely tearing people apart with their words, bantering back and forth like the acerbic kings they were born to be. We got a bit of it with Lorenzo but I wanted more!

He keeps it up a bit with Simon and there was that forced reconciliation with clary after Alec was possessed, which I hated because she is just the worst and also I would have loved Alec knocking Jace down a peg more often.

Plus, have you noticed that gay characters with attitude are always the effeminate ones? It was nice to see a buff badass be bitchy.

i read "call me caddy" as "call me daddy" and for a second i just. had no idea what was going on

i don't think i had ever noticed before that the gay characters with attitude are always the effeminate ones but you are absolutely right and honestly how did i not notice that before. it makes a lot of sense since "bitch" is seen as mostly a gendered insult and effeminate gay characters are seen as "more queer", which also means "more angry", but their anger and bitchiness is mostly used as a humor resort

but anyway yeah you are absolutely right, the way that they made alec's snark seem as a result of "in the closet angst" was just fucked up because it implied that his very justified anger at everyone's bullshit, entitlement, and homophobia was just him having his own issues to deal with. it almost seems as if clary was right with her "we have real problems" remark, as if dealing with homophobia is a problem of his psyche only, when it's really fucking not lol

like alec not only had the right to be angry but he was 100% right almost 100% of the time when he was arguing with jace and clary (the exception being when he wanted to hand meliorn to the clave. what the fuck even) and by acting as if it was just that he was repressed and Really Angry At Himself/His Situation or whatever and not at their shitty behavior is just fucked up in several ways

plus alec and magnus are bitchy queens and we deserved to see more of that. you can't tell me that most of their conversation when alec "slept over" at magnus' loft was dedicated to talking shit about jace and clary's attitude, because 1- they had just given a full display of their bullshit entitlement in full technicolor for at least a few hours to the both of them; 2- it just seems fitting considering the whole context for both of them; 3- it probably broke both of them out of their shells. let's be real, alec was always drawn to magnus when magnus made fun of the other shadowhunters and their ways because he KNOWS it's bullshit and albeit in a different way since alec is a white shadowhunter and is still very much privileged, he is also affected by their cultural bullshit, and also because he has a lot of repressed anger that he never found any echo in anyone before magnus, much less in such an openly mocking way (that magnus can get away with because he's powerful and a downworlder leader). and on magnus' side, seeing that alec is also seeing the bullshit in their behavior makes him feel more comfortable with the way he is starting to feel about a shadowhunter of all people. plus, alec is very real and unapologetically himself when he's being a bitch, and it was most of what we got to see of the real alec

so like what i am saying is basically that talking shit probably helped break the ice and break them both out of their carefully constructed shells (shallow and vaguely upbeat for magnus, closed off for alec) and express their actual opinions, find their points in common, and be themselves. with the extra bonus points that they totally made each other laugh because they are FUNNY bitchy bastards, building trust because they could express their similar opinions on the others and see that they were mostly on each other's side then (especially with the way alec cleaned magnus' couch and was so attentive towards him and his needs... inspired, talented, spectacular). so like... they were united by bitchiness and that is how a good, strong relationship starts lol /hj

we have a saying in brazil which is that "hatred brings people together faster than love" and i think this is a prime example. hating the same thing shows you have a lot in common. and it just worked for them

so like we deserved to see more of their mutually bitchy dynamics, especially towards the other shadowhunters as they continued to be assholes to them both, and then the mutual snark at lorenzo, etc. plus them making each other laugh <3 letting out well-deserved snarky remarks (cuz i don't think either of them, particularly magnus, is ever "mean" without reason lol. like they might be wrong sometimes - like with alec hating on simon, who was literally the only person who didn't warrant his hatred in that whole situation; i think he was wrong, but i also understand why he was fucking sick of him as he was around enabling clary all the time ya feel) while they pretend to sip wine and making otherwise unpleasant situations such as clave events way more bearable for them both, maybe even enjoyable as it becomes some sort of game. we use the coping mechanisms we can

in short bitch husbands for life

[the-backspin-alchemist]

1, 2, 3, 4 Since Wizard College is a running gag in this campaign, 5, 8, 12, 13, 18, 19, 20

1) A story for every scar. Do any of their wounds have interesting origins? 

He's still got the scars across his chest and abdomen from fighting his mother and nearly dying the first time around. He also may or may not have acquired a new scar across his back from getting blasted with necrotic magic by a golden dragon (long story)

2) Three songs that show their character progression. 

That show *progression,* huh?

Alright. I think gonna stick mostly to the Haverthorne arc and beyond because before that he didn't GET much development beyond being an angsty jerkass. While in the Haverthorne arc he got a lot more of the spotlight and got fleshed out a lot more.

Getting to Haverthorne and dealing with Billy Estrive and his bullshit holding a mirror to his traumatic past, and thereby turning into a very angry asshole in the process: Keys to the Kingdom - Linkin Park

Post-Haverthorne breakdown/after killing Billy Estrive and leaving the Guild: Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park

Coming back and returning to the Guild after finding his parents' notebooks, and realizing he kinda couldn't just stay out of things again: Robot Boy - Linkin Park

3) If they were a god which god would they be? 

This is a tricky one because Jace would repeatedly deny that he's anywhere close to worthy of godhood. He doesn't want it, doesn't believe he would make a good god figure at ALL. So if for some reason it were thrust upon him in the way it kinda ends up being in DND every so often...I dunno, maybe he'd want to take some sort of redemptive role. Become the god of the outcasts, perhaps.

Or, alternatively, challenge Lolth to a fistfight. And just become God Of Punching Lolth to Death.

4) What was their favourite subject at school?

Botany.

His dad was an apothecary, so he learned a lot about the sort of stuff that's out there in the wild from him.

He also did like learning to swordfight from his mom, as well.

5) What does their voice sound like? 

Hmmmmm...I think I'd prolly cast Alex Zahara to voice him if I had to. He's been sounding more and more like Lockon Stratos in my head. It helps that there are character parallels. 

8) What would their favourite tv show be? 

Hmmmmmmm...okay ignoring movies I think he would find Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood to bea really good and he'd resonate so much with Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang collectively, given that they're trying to atone for having been involved in awful stuff.

Non-animation runner-up would prolly beeeeee The Witcher, again because of similar themes of atoning and finding family.

12) Do they have a type? 

I mean for a while it was just. Ashes.

Recent events have thrown that into a complicated mess, though.

Given that he's ace(ish), not quite, but also kinda, in that he likes anyone that's actually kind to people while also being able to have a decent sense of humor. Which in the current party is basically two people. There's maybe a third NPC I could see him getting attached to if they spent time actually, like, conversing, but that hasn't really happened since the party rescued said NPC and her friends, and said NPC has eyes elsewhere as it is (and Jace would see this and kinda just...remove himself from the equation, as he tends to do as his usual reaction to such situations).

13) Playing video games, would they be a completionist, a speed runner, how would they play? 

He'd be one of those people that does one run to experience the story properly, and a second run to get the Golden Ending if he didn't get it before.   

18) What would their ideal home be like? 

Goooood question....

Someplace with a small place to live, but with enough land to set up an herb garden and a shooting range for archery practice, plus or minus some space to set up for a pet mimic and a displacer cub or two.

19) What would they like their mark in history to be?

Honestly at this point he'd be happy if he could just manage to not be known for killing his mother. Sure, she was causing a lot of problems, and while some surface-dwellers might thing he's a hero for ending her if they found out it was him that did it, it was far and away the worst moment of his life, and is NOT something he wants to be known for, even as a war hero.

Hell, he'd love for everyone to just forget that, and to fade into obscurity.

20) If they could be a dragon, would they be a dragon? 

At one point, probably, but now that he's met a few dragons the prospect has soured on him a bit...

[voidstilesplease]

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much. 

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up. 

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ¹

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?! 

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo? 

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

[zargeb]

the descent into hell (isn’t easy)

Stall.   That was the advice that the Professor had given them in the event that any of them got caught and arrested. Stall, I’ll get you out of the predicament. Jace wasn’t sure if that still counted now that it was the Professor’s brother that had kicked him out of the Royal Mint building for undermining him and starting a mutiny, but he was going to have to try. A lifetime in jail wasn’t remotely appealing and was not what he signed up for. What he signed up for was millions of dollars and a private island or death. Now he was the in-between that none of them wanted and he rather thought Warsaw knew it. 

 In those moments, as he peeled off the red jumpsuit, kicked off his boots and took off his shirt, leaving him in boxershorts on the pavement in front of the steps of the Mint, he looked aside at the building and thought of Athens. The weak link. He was her rock. She came to him to talk about her mother and to watch the video that the police used to goad her into turning herself in. She may be the weak link, but she was also the IT-specialist that the robbers inside the Mint still needed. He was disposable, in a sense. She wasn’t. But he didn’t know what she was going to do without him, just as he felt naked in a very different way than the current without her. He was her rock, perhaps, but she was surely his. 

  “He’s clear!” One of the soldiers yelled. Subsequently, he was taken and dragged off the pavement by no less than three men. What did they think he was going to do, run? They had at least twenty guns pointed at him and he didn’t like the prospect of literally being shot in the foot.    He shot one last look behind him at the Mint before he let his muscles relax, meaning that they literally had to drag him towards the ambulance standing nearby. They sat him down and gave him a blanket. A doctor who was kinder than Jace deserved checked him over while four soldiers stood there and watched, all glaring at him as though trying to figure him out. They gave him some water to drink with a straw and took his blood. Jace stared in front of him.     As soon as the medics cleared him, he was dragged straight to the tent, where they made him sit down on the chair that had already been put down for him. He shot a quick look around him, lips pressed together in discomfort, and pulled the blanket closer around him. At second glance, he identified a face that he had seen before. A face belonging to a person surely not supposed to be here, which meant that Jocelyn Fray and the police were planning another attack on Clary’s conscience, or so they were thinking. It was idiotic and pointless, albeit Jace wasn’t too sure what Clary would be doing once she found out who was missing. 

  Jace didn’t think that Jocelyn was allowed to speak. She knew who he was, clear enough, from the security footage and the picture of his file that she had seen. If she thought he was the correct person to take her anger out of, and Jace suspected the officers in the tent would let her, she was painfully wrong. "I told Clary somebody would get thrown to the wolves. I didn't expect it to be the person who dragged her into this in the first place," she said haughtily.  

  He smiled. It was the kind of smile that was a warning sign more than anything else, usually directed at Warsaw these days. Warsaw had had enough of Jace’s comments being directed at him and gifted Jace another perfect victim to aim his venom at. He almost appreciated the gesture. "And here I thought I would be encountering my grandmother. Instead I got my soon to be mother-in-law. ‘Guess neither of us are getting what we signed up for,” he quipped.     

  “Your what?” Jocelyn Fray seemed equal parts shocked and disgusted. Of course, that was exactly how Jace liked people to react against him. He preferred distance. Sure, it was too bad that his mother-in-law didn’t find him charming, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Clary wouldn’t either, and this woman had already hurt his fiancee. 

  "Didn't she tell you?” Jace asked, mock surprised, only to pretend to realize why she didn’t have this information. “Right, she ran away from you. Clary and I are engaged. I'd say you'd get the wedding invite, but you're not invited. We don't enjoy being surrounded by blithering fools." He shrugged his shoulders, causing the blanket to glide off on of his shoulders. He let it. He could only hope people were bothered by nudity. 

  Jocelyn, as it turned out, was not only naive but thought she was being clever about it, too. Sometimes Jace wondered what went on in the heads of people like her. Did she genuinely think everything would be alright in the end, and the bad boy that changed her girl into something she wasn’t would go to prison? She sure seemed to want to get that message across. "Whatever you've promised my daughter, whatever you've lied to her about, when all of this is over, she'll forget about you," Clary’s mother promised him, eyes on him.  

  Jace decided to enlighten her. "When all of this is over, mother, Clary and I are going to get married on our own private island and have loads of sex in the sand. It's probably not gonna be good, but I warned her about that. Life is filed with bad sex." He had actually told her about that. And he didn’t think the sand of any beach would be beneficial for their sex life. To taunt Jocelyn further, he added: "By the way. She destroyed the memory card. She was frustrated, then sad, then angry. And stayed angry. So, take this from your future son-in-law: your daughter ain't coming home."

  "From where I'm standing, it doesn't look like you're going anywhere except prison, and I won't let you drag her down with you," Jocelyn protested. Jace laughed, right in her face. He hadn’t laughed in days, and the sound was foreign to his ears. "I needed her to listen and I'm not going to apologise for hurting her pride if it keeps her safe. As her supposed future fiancé, surely you'd agree her safety is more important?" She paused briefly and studied him before making a remark that made Jace decide he had her all figured out. "It must sting, to know that your friends, perhaps even Clary didn't think you were worth saving."

  That was supposed to hurt, Jace was sure. But it didn’t, because she didn’t know what she was talking about. She wasn’t operating with nearly enough information."I noticed on the video that you had a lot of inane preconceived notions,” he pointed out to her, matter-of-fact. “You're proving yourself again. You think you know Clary, but you don't. And you think you have a grip on the situation, but you don't. It's starting to be a little painful to watch, if I'm being candid.” He decided to humor her then. “Since you say I am going to jail, this will probably be the last time we'll meet, so listen closely: Clary was frustrated and sad enough for me to know that she loves you, but she was angry enough to know that she loves herself more than to betray herself and believe the lies you tell."

  At that point Jocelyn wasn’t even listening any more, something that made Jace very tired. The only actually useful thing he was planning to say today went right over her head and instead, she was still living in her dream. "I want my daughter at home, where she belongs." softer then. "The police would release her to my custody for good behaviour eventually, once she proves she's not violent. No technology, no phone, no computer for as long as it takes, and she'll be safe." And that was the dream. It was a load of bullshit. It was no doubt what was meant to happen after juvie, and look how that turned out? Jocelyn’s little girl was involved in the biggest heist in history.   Then, Jocelyn looked him up and down, as thought trying to see something. The question that she asked him made Jace roll his eyes before the sentence was even out completely. "You're engaged to her, but do you love her enough to do whatever it takes to keep her safe?"

  They had very different ideas about keeping Clary safe, as it turned out. "You want your daughter to stay the little girl that you raised. And she hasn't been that girl for a long time. Taking away technology would be taking away who she is,” he pointed out matter-of-fact. “You're creating a myth of a person that doesn't exist, miss Fray,” he added politely, only to look around. “And I'm not the one mentally attacking her with video messages or physically attacking her with guns. I love her enough to let her be herself. And you clearly don't."   That was the point that the flap of the tent opened and a voice exclaimed his last name, clearly surprised. “Herondale?” That was Meliorn, who Jace met previously when they send him in to see if all the hostages were unharmed. He tried to talk to Jace, but was unsuccessful. Since they already had Clary, as she had received the memory card, that left Warsaw, about whom he dropped a bomb and then left. Jace wasn’t sure yet if he liked the negotiator. Supposedly he was the best at what he did.    “Meliorn!”Jace greeted as though seeing an old friend he hadn’t spoken to for a while. “So nice to make your acquaintance again. A lovely set-up you’ve got here. How have you been?”   The negotiator didn’t do as much as blink as the small talk. Apparently he was used to it. Instead, he scrutinized Jace and then turned to look at the white man in the suit who had been standing beside Jocelyn the entire time. “Seriously, this is how you treat prisoners? How would you feel if I told Imogen Herondale you interrogated her grandson in only boxershorts? Even hostage takers have rights.”    “You don’t have to worry, I’m very comfortable,” Jace said. As though to prove the point, he pushed the blanket off his shoulders and leaned back in his chair, exposed for everyone to see, daring them to do something about it.    Meliorn glared at him before gesturing at one of the officers, who handcuffed him without a word. Jace was surprised they hadn’t done that yet. Afterwards, Meliorn got the blanket and wrapped it around him so he wasn’t quite so exposed any more. Bold of him to assume that Jace wouldn’t manage to get it off again. If he was in a mood like this he would make it his mission to annoy everyone in the room. One down already if the way that Jocelyn was glaring at him was anything to go by. He directed a smile at her.   “So what happened?” Meliorn asked as he took the seat right in front of Jace, ignoring the look that the white man in suit who stood beside Jocelyn gave him. “Last I checked you were all firing guns at us while you were repairing the wall. What happened to that team spirit?” It was probably a good thing that the cops inside the tent didn’t know that he was the maniac that pulled out all the stops with the Browning machine gun, because they would not be amused.   Stall, the voice of the Professor said in the back of his head. He couldn’t start yelling about Imogen yet, because that would be a one way ticket to prison for the night. “The team spirit is perfectly fine, thank you for asking,” he said. “The entire heist is going according to plan. Other than the escape of the hostages, that is. You should probably know that the hostages killed one of us.” Not true, but that didn’t matter. Besides, he didn’t think Monaco would last long with the head laceration that she suffered from.   “Who?” Meliorn asked, who frowned at him. “The Professor didn’t mention it.”    Jace sunk down and studied Meliorn. He seemed kind. Too kind. That bothered him.  But he had to stall, and stalling was easiest by giving Meliorn information that he wasn’t going to ask. “Not anyone you know,” he said. “You’ll see once the heist is over, I think. The Professor doesn’t need to tell you everything, does she? That’s not how negotiating works, I don’t think.”   He didn’t say what he was thinking. That saving Monaco meant medical treatment, and medical treatment she would be going to jail for the rest of her life. Beirut had made it clear to all of them: Monaco didn’t want to leave the Mint. Prison wasn’t an option for soldiers fighting for a cause. Soldiers were ready to die for them. It was a mindset he wanted to curse at but couldn’t.    Meliorn looked aside at the suit, who raised his eyebrows. Next to the suit Jocelyn shifted uncomfortably. “Is there anything you want to tell us about the heist, Jonathan?” he asked slowly. “About the others that are in there? About your plans to escape?”   “Their names are Athens, Warsaw, Beirut, Monaco, Wellington, Kiev and Riga,” Jace said. “I don’t know any of their real names, other than Athens’. And they don’t know mine, other than Clary. In case anyone got caught, like right now, the other’s identities were protected. I know it’s illegal to hook me up to a lie detector, but you’re welcome to. I don’t know their names.”   Clarissa Fray. Alexander Lightwood. Lucian Graymark. Simon Graymark. Maia Roberts. Warsaw kicked out the wrong person. He knew way too much.    “I don’t have time for this,” the suit declared. “He’s not going to talk. This may well be part of the Professor’s plan. Let us waste time on him, like we wasted hours getting proof of life. I’m not falling for it. Bring him to prison and let someone interrogate him there.”   That was Jace’s cue to pipe up again. “Funny that you think I’ll talk to just anyone,” he said. “I’m not going to. Get me Imogen. Otherwise I’ll have to be rude and give whatever detective that tries to figure me out the silent treatment. Let’s avoid that.”   Meliorn turned to look at the suit, who rolled his eyes heavenward and sighed. “Call Inspector Herondale,” he said with a raised voice. “Tell her to come to the Madrid prison. We got her grandson. Again. And this time he’s not getting out.”

  Imogen beat Jace to arriving at prison. Instead of bring him to his cell, they brought him straight to an interrogation room, where his grandmother was waiting for him. They had given sweatpants and a shirt during the ride towards the Madrid prison. He recognized the building when they arrived, which made him grin just a little. Last time Imogen got him out of there. This time she was there to see him go in and according to her never come out.    “Imogen!” he greeted enthusiastically when one of the guards pushed him inside of the room and had him sit down on the chair at the other side of the table. “I’m sorry we can’t hug it out, my hands are otherwise occupied.” Still in handcuffs, of course.    Imogen looked at him briefly, no emotions visible in her face expression, before looking up at the guard. “Cuff his hands to the table. Then go.” The orders were clear and the guard didn’t think twice to do them. He pulled Jace’s hands forward to be able to cuff them to the table and closed the door of the interrogation room behind him, most likely waiting right outside and killing time by playing a game on his phone. 

  “Why?” Imogen asked. “The girl? Or Valentine? I don’t understand, Jonathan. You had a roof over your head, a family member looking out for you and a girlfriend that loved you. So please enlighten me about what made you leave, only to reappear as one of the members of the crew trying to pull off the biggest heist in history.”   Jace sighed briefly. He had wanted her to be mad. Disappointment he didn’t like and couldn’t work with. “Life with you was a different kind of prison,” he said eventually. “Stephen left you as well, because you tried to make him into something he wasn’t. And I had less of a chance than he did. I tried, but I couldn’t do it. I’m not well-raised. I don’t care for manners. I don’t believe in our law system.  I wasn’t living in your manor with the girlfriend you asked to ask me out. So when Val came for me, I realized I could either be your puppet or I could be myself.”   “Jonathan, being yourself means you’re looking at a lifetime in prison,” Imogen said, irritation plain. “So help me out here. Give me information that can help us stop the heist. I can pull some strings to give you a reduced sentence.” Jace leaned back against the chair as much as he could with his hands cuffed to the table and shook his head at Imogen before pressing his lips together. “Jonathan, please,” Imogen pressed on. “You’re not even thirty yet. You still have a life ahead of you. It doesn’t have to end like this.”   The last remark made him lean forward again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “And I’m sorry about Stephen, too. Some things just have to end in tragedy. There’s no other way.”    Jace would bet good money that he would hopefully still receive that it was Imogen behind the manhunt on Valentine. It was ironic, really, given that she couldn’t do it when Stephen and Celine were just killed and Valentine took off with her grandchild and when Jace needed her to do it, but that she was ready to pull all the stops out when her twenty-seven year old grandson left.    He thought he had been clear, but Imogen disagreed. She took his hands into hers and searched his eyes. Once he looked directly at her, she spoke again, words that Jace had not seen coming. “Jace. Please. What will it take to convince you? Do you want me to apologize for Valentine? Or do you want me to guarantee you that we’ll reduce the girl’s sentence as well? I’ll do it. I’ll make sure of it. Life isn’t meant to be lead in prison and it doesn’t have to be.”  This was what the Professor hadn’t warned them about. He was fine with keeping his mouth shut when it came to his own reduced sentence and what not, but he didn’t think they would try to use Clary as an angle. It meant that he hesitated briefly, and that the hesitation was visible in his face expression. “I can’t,” he said after a couple of seconds. “I’m sorry, Imogen. You have no idea how sorry I -”   When she cut him off by speaking, let go of his hands and stood up, Jace was pretty sure she would start yelling. He looked up at her, shrinking backwards a little, and waited for the blow to come. But it never came. “I know,” Imogen said softly instead. She made her way around the table and sat down at the chair beside his. “I know you tried. And I know it was never going to work. That was wishful thinking from an old woman that should know better.” She proceeded to wrap her arms around him.  That was precisely the moment that Jace broke. If she had asked him about a plea deal against he would probably have taken it, but she said nothing and simply held him as he cried. “It’s okay, honey,” she told him softly. “I know you did what you had to do. It’s okay.” It really, really, wasn’t, but that may well sum up his entire life.    After a couple of minutes, when Jace felt like he calmed down again, Imogen let go of him. She wiped the tears away from his eyes and from his face gently and studied him for a couple of seconds, eyebrows frowning. “What do you need?” she asked.   “A lawyer, apparently,” he replied, making her chuckle softly. She pushed a lock of hair away from his face as he spoke again. “Sleep, I think. I’m very sleep deprived.” He guessed she could tell, since he wasn’t one to break down. It was a new experience for both of them and not one that Jace was overly eager to relive.    “I’ll make sure they’ll bring you to your cell,” Imogen said as she stood up. “A lawyer will be waiting for you at the courthouse in Madrid tomorrow. If you change your mind about the deal, let one of your guards know and I’ll be there to talk you through it.” One last look, and Imogen made her way out of the interrogation room, leaving the door open. He could hear her speak to the guards.    He breathed out heavily and closed his eyes briefly. The Professor better strike quickly, because they may actually be worse than being locked up the Royal Mint of Spain with Warsaw and his complexes for days. 

  It turned out that he really hadn’t been wrong about needing sleep. The guards made him eat dinner in the interrogation room before they brought him to what they called his cell. It couldn’t really be called that. It only consisted of a bed with covers and clothes waiting for him, a chair and a desk and a door through which the bathroom was. The walls didn’t let any sound through and when the door was locked, Jace never felt more alone. He got over that within ten minutes, because he all but dropped on the bed and fell asleep fast.    When he woke it was midday and two guards were trying to wake him. He shot up and was immediately met with voices yelling at him to stay calm and that they would use their weapons if they had to. Once they realized he had no intention to harm them, he was left alone with the message to freshen up and do it fast because they were leaving for court. Subsequently, Jace dragged himself into the bathroom to make himself look a little more presentable. He looked terrible. That was fine. He didn’t think of his angle yet and looking like this would make it easier to get people to feel sorry for him. Once he returned from the bathroom he changed into the clothes that were left for him and waited for the guards there.   The guards brought him to the courtyard of the prison, where no less than three vans were waiting. They pushed him towards the middle van. The entire spectacle made him very tired. Surely the Professor wasn’t going to come for him. He didn’t even know if the Professor was anywhere at all or if she got arrested before him, since they hadn’t heard form her. That was the reason they started the mutiny, of course. He sat down where they made him sit and leaned back against the wall, eyes closing. He may well take a nap, since he learned the day before that the prison was outside of Madrid, meaning it would take them a while to get to the court house.    About fifteen minutes into his nap the van came to an abrupt stop. Jace shot awake and looked from one guard to the other, who were shooting gazes at each other before turning to look at him. “What?” he asked. “I was asleep. Don’t look at me, go fix the problem.” That was when they heard yelling from outside the van, indicating the police escort ran into trouble. He shrugged his shoulders at the guards and waited.    It wasn’t a very long wait. Some gunshots later the doors of the second van were thrown open and they were greeted with four Eastern-European looking people with guns pointed at the two guards. They were quick to do the same, one of them pointing the gun at Jace’s head. “If you kill us, we’ll kill him,” the guard that pulled Jace towards him threatened.   The leader of the bunch of Eastern Europeans shrugged. “If you kill him, we’ll kill you,” he said. As he spoke, a fifth member of their gang appeared, another loaded gun pointed at the guards. Jace knew they were going to cave. Their job wasn’t worth their life. That was the flaw in the system. People like guards weren’t paid nearly enough for the sometimes dangerous work they did, so they were too easy to corrupt.    Sure enough, he was pushed forward towards the Eastern-European crew. Jace stumbled but managed to keep standing and was helped out of the van by the man that first spoke. He lead Jace away from the van and helped him into another van. When he looked back, he saw that the others were tying up the guards. He couldn’t feel sorry for them.    “Let’s go!” The leader yelled. He got in the van beside Jace and waited until two others got in as well before he told the driver to take off, which he did at high speed, causing Jace to almost fall over again. The leader looked him over. “Are you okay? Zagreb, is it?” He nodded, recognizing the man’s accent as Serbian. It was the same accent as Beirut and Monaco. “Can you drive a motorcycle?”   Was he okay? Debatable, but that was not what this kind man meant to ask. “I just need to eat,” he said. “I need some sugar. Then I can drive.”    The wonderful Serbian man proceeded to produce a chocolate bar out of thin air, or so it felt to Jace, and handed it over to him. “Eat,” he was told. “We’ll take you to the motorcycle. We’ll give you a phone and the number of the Professor.”    Jace nodded, but didn’t comment and took a bite of the chocolate instead. He wasn’t going to tell this wonderful crew of most likely wanted criminals that the Professor wasn’t where she should be and wouldn’t pick up. He needed a plan B, but this was plan C or D already and he was running out. His improvisation skills were usually strong, but there was only so much improvisation one could do when the entire Madrid police force was looking for you. It meant that they ought to hurry, and that the van driver agreed with since Jace was rapidly getting motion sick. This surely wasn’t the time to throw up. Thankfully he had nothing in his stomach.   Just when Jace thought he may have to beg the kind Serbian for a break, the van stopped abruptly and Jace was helped out. A motorcycle was waiting for him there. One of the women handed him clothes that they took from the officer that was about his size. Stripping in front of people was starting to be habit-forming, but the Serbians seemed like they could not care less other than the woman that winked at him. He took over the helmet from their leader and put the necklace underneath his clothes.   “Thank you,” he told the gang leader sincerely. “I’ll make sure to speak to the Professor and see to it that you get your reward.”    The man patted him on the back awkwardly. “It is no problem,” he declared. “Tell Beirut I say hello. Now you must leave.” Jace smiled briefly and eyed the man one more time before he put on the helmet and made his way back to Madrid.    When he was nearby the city, he took off the helmet and got the phone that the Serbians had given him. There was only one number in there. One number that was going to fail him, Jace already knew. He dialed regardless, and was met with nothing. He was about to put the phone away when he suddenly was called back. Breathless, he answered the phone, only to be met with a voice asking for the person he was trying to reach. “Professor?”   “No,” Jace said with a sigh. “It’s Zagreb. It’s -” And that’s when he realized he recognized the accent again. The Professor said Serbians would be digging the tunnel from her side so that they could start packing the money faster and could escape fast if they had to.”Wait. You were hired by the Professor.”   He heard some background noise, some shuffling, and when he was next addressed it was a female voice. “Who is this?” she asked.   “It’s Zagreb,” he repeated with the patience he didn’t have. “I was part of the crew inside of the Mint until Warsaw kicked me out. They arrested me, but I escaped with help. I have to get back to the Mint.”

  It was silent for a couple of seconds. Then the voice gave him an address that Jace memorized in his mind. “Be quick,” the voice told him. “They’re already looking for you.” With that she hung up, and Jace was on his own again. He destroyed the phone.   Half an hour later he arrived at the given address, a backdoor of a one-floor apartment that felt more like a lair, and was greeted by three guns pointed at him from strong-looked Serbians until he took off the helmet.    “Zagreb!” The woman said, the voice Jace recognized from the phone. They helped him get in the motorcycle and lead him inside. The Professor was nowhere to be found, but the moment Jace laid eyes on her desk he smiled. The monitors. The phone. The paper art. 

  “Zagreb, they have been calling,” the woman said. “We almost finished the tunnel. We can hear them. You must tell them.”   Right that second, the phone rung again. Jace exchanged a glance with the woman (the other two had gone back to work after locking the door again) before he sat down at the desk chair and reached out for the phone, picking it up and holding it up to his ear.   “Izzy?” Warsaw’s voice asked. “Where the fuck have you been?”   Jace was quiet for a couple of seconds. “It’s me, you dick,” he replied then. “Get me Athens.”

[ralfstrashcan]

3x13 Reaction / Commentary

Yeah I'm aware, stop judging X___X

I feel the need to point this out. Apparently it's common practice for the Praetor to just, kill off their more troublesome charges. Interesting. But Jordan has a different work ethic which is a) apparently not usual for praetors and b) something at least Nick attributes to his past and not, idk, common decency. Just how savage is the Praetor exactly?? (Also let me add this to the list of things why 3x15 makes no sense at all.)

Okay, so they found another mundane dead by Heidi's hand...... why exactly don't they call the Shadowhunters? Aren't they obliged to? I mean?

True, but it sure as hell is her responsibility how she handles them. But we established already that she has a serious perception problem and always sees herself as the victim.

I mean, prime example, if she could have made that smooth exit through the vent where the werewolves couldn't follow, why didn't she just do that from the start instead of attacking Nick? Because she wants to cause trouble and not just “live her life in peace” as she's pretending to.

More like, he didn't have the guts to face Alec like that. Also does that mean he draped Izzy on the couch like that in that cliché sleeping pose with one hand under the head? At least he took off her boots like a sane person.

“I'm just drained.”

Haha it seems Alec isn't the only Lightwood sibling with a shitty sense of humor.

“I don't have the same preexisting condition.” “You mean my addiction?”

No, Izzy, he obviously means your fashion sense, keep up. Seriously, who wrote that stupid ass line of dialogue.

I found it pretty hilarious that Simon, Clary's literally oldest and bestest friend since kindergarten, feels the need to apologize to Izzy for taking up so much time with his Clary-reunion and blocking the path for her. The Clizzy Energy is Strong.

“Hmmmm hot hot hot Clary, please show me more.”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY HAHAHAHA PERFECT

Also, Morningstar.... didn't Val name his dumbass tanker ship in S1/S2 Morningstar? Guy really has it with name repetitions, first Jonathan 1 and 2, now Morningstar Ship and Morningstar Sword... I bet he named all his stuffed teddys Mr Snuffels 1, Mr Snuffels 2, Mr Snuffels 3.....

The way he delivers this line me might've as well said “Please cut out the emotional disgusting bullshit my skin is crawling already from this I can't take any more mushiness PLEASE GO AWAY.” Gotta love Alec.

MAGNUS RAGE PUNCHING THE KEYBOARD IS THE MOST RELATABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Magnus opening up about missing his magic MY HEART OH MY GOD

(Sidenote though: No wonder he got frustrated with the pretentious Shadowhunter Technology, I mean, look at it. There are only runes. Runes may be called runes, but they don't actually make up an alphabet. Why the heck is there a flexibility rune on the screen? It makes no sense.)

This whole scene (and Izzy's lipstick lol) is absolutely perfect. I love everything about it, especially Magnus and especially Izzy. I'd be really surprised if Magnus didn't find a way to get her that weird root thingy anyway, because he surely doesn't buy the “feeling a lot better now” line.

(Edit: Now thinking about it I realized two things, a) she probably didn't take him up on his offer to go to another warlock because she felt like that was unnecessarily rubbing in that he can't do it himself anymore* and b) with that line she probably meant she feels lighter already for sharing what happened and just <3<3<3<3<3)

*The only think that would have made this scene more perfect is if Izzy hadn't skimmed over his magic comment without acknowledging it in any way. Though with this thought in mind, that she rejected his offer to spare his feelings, I find myself placated.

Also I love how Magnus pretends he's going to look for pen and paper when really he's running straight to Alec to tell him all about this (and to prevent a repetition of 2x09 form happening.... and now I made myself sad again).

#effortless (Also reminds me of that post about fire message mechanics that I still owe a certain someone. Where is the time.)

HAHAHAHA

???????????? How do they know that? More importantly, does Alec know? Will he hear through the Shadow World grapevine??? So many questions.

I mean, I have sympathy for her. But like, she's too smart for me to buy that she genuinely can't see any other course of action. She just does this because it's the least effort for her, not because she's truly clueless what alternatives are there for here (aka not running around, killing mundanes, starting a fight with everyone). She just thrives on chaos.

Also “Wolves don't just attack without cause. Not in New York” ? Seems like all Institute except the NY one do a shit job since supposedly keeping peace between the Downworld factions is part of their responsibility. Yes, I am still salty about 3x15. (Also, if anyone's confused by this weird foreshadowing, I wrote notes for this reaction post while watching 3x13 when it first aired, but only got to finish it now after 3x19 aired and I can't keep my chronology-screwing bitterness to myself while finishing up the post. But mostly these are my thoughts from then.)

Yeah something tells me she's not gonna be totally uninvolved in that.

This and the fact that Russel wants to stop Bat from even leaving the Jade Wolf are the final proofs that all the werewolves actually live at the Jade Wolf and pile up in a giant snuggle pile in the kitchen at night. This is further cemented by the fact that Luke and Maia claim to have flats of their own but we never actually see them. Clearly they're both dirty liars that just wanted to mislead.

*late Jocelyn's late friend Eliot #rude #whatever

.......why the hell would Elias code that shit in Circle short hand? So other Circle members, who Jocelyn was hiding from, could easily open that super important safe? So smart! Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Luke in the Circle as well? Shouldn't he be able to read that, too?

1) Eliot is such a loser and a showoff for ostentatiously writing that J in Jocelyn 2) His hint is seriously “Don't open with brute force.” Wtf kind of hint is that man are you even real.

I'm sorry, okay, but everytime I see / hear Bellicosi I think Maxi-Cosi XD

*glares at 3x15* Will I ever tire of raging about that episode? Unlikely.

Why.....? Since he didn't have any problem 100% blaming Raphael for everything Heidi did (not unjustified, but I'm just saying he's suddenly changed his mind). I mean, if he'd said she's dangerous to him and his family that would've been another matter.

These are all runes that I don't remember seeing on the Shadowhunters' Wiki Rune Page. Please tell me more.

Jace: “Clary, you've been going nonstop since you came back. You need to take a minute.”

lol if only Jace would implement the same advice himself.

“Wow I suddeny remember I had a life before I was 10.”

German Dubbing: Yeah, the ones Consul Penhallow categorically ignored. Honestly. Who dubbs this shit. Wtf.

Listen I love everything about this scene. (Fun Fact: In the German Dubbing she says vampire addiction, not venom addiction lol as if she was addicted to vampires XD)

Alec Lightwood, best brother of the year. Btw he's been holding that title since birth. I also don't think Alec would ever judge Izzy for her addiction / look at her as if she's weak, so the fact that she thinks that says a lot about how the addiction affected her self-image.

Too bad Alec forgets this for the next few episodes and acts like a total tool in that Clave Investigation Thing, smh.

Good to know.

Haha that was witty.

Oooooh why don't they ask another warlock then? For example one who's actually always the smartest person in the room?? Who's also willing to work on this??? Just a thought tho, don't let me interrupt the Maruke Bonding. No, you know what? I hate the shipname Maruke, it's shit, so I'm calling it Luryse as it should have been called. Then again, when am I even gonna talk about that pairing? We shall see.

“Outrageous, just because people around me keep turning up dead! It's ridiculous, really, that they'd think I could have something to do with that. It's as if they're not aware this is a TV show and supporting characters die because *Moriarty Voice* THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO!”

“That what the kids call it these days when they get kicked out on their ass?” She literally says “From one exiled to another” so she clearly realized he's full of shit.

“And that's why in two episodes Imma get myself arrested by behaving like a dumbass and then chill in prison as if it's my greatest accomplishment.” Honestly Luke, so many No-s. I can't even.

“Wow I can't believe I have to see this Luryse bs up close.” Hah, now I used the right shipname and can move the f on from bashing that pairing. Sorry about that. I'm sleep deprived. That always makes me extra salty.

“When you're alpha you need to make the pack your first priority. Your personal life needs to take a back seat. And mine never did.” I applaud Luke for admitting he was a shit alpha because he didn't proritize the pack. Hindsight is 20/20.

Wow Luke so helpful <3<3<3 Just like I know and love you.

I also love how nobody questions that Heidi bit that mundane and then chilledly made a phone call at the scene of her Accords-violating crime. How frakking convenient.

But their runes aren't on the same side. Sloppy work. Also, if the illustrator obviouly takes artistic liberties, then the rune missing on the second pic doesn't have to mean anything. Maybe they just forgot to draw it. Then again this isn't even the most flimsy conclusion-making I've wittnessed on this show so I'll let it slide.

lol Jace and Jonathan are basically playing tug of war with Clary: Jonathan burning himself, Jace activating her healing rune XD

Ooooh brainless S1 Clary, how I have not missed you. Srsly now? Carve it out? That didn't work for Simon so why should it now? lol she should ask the seelie queen if she has some handy floor mosaic thingy in her courtyard to help with that.

In his defense, he moved.

It's not gonna work is what it is. Srsly how dumb are they? Why the hell does she think something so powerful can just be carved out?? Wtf.

Woooow they're using a rune removing device, color me impressed. I really thought they'd just put a scalpel to it. So, at least points for trying.

Uuuuh get some morphin, try again. I mean. But anyway.

*break up

......didn't she just break up with him because pack reasons? Where is that not a Shadow World Reason? Please explain. (Also choosing an unflattering screen cap of Simon because he annoys me? Absolutely. I am petty like that.) The easy way Simon accepts their break up really makes me wonder. If Maia hadn't said anything, would he have broken up with her? Since apparently things “changed” and they could “both” “feel” it. Honestly. He literally calls her his girlfriend at the start of the scene as if to draw attention to how ridiculous this is.

You know what, I don't even have the energy to rage about this. Their relationship was so great, they were so supportive of each other, they had great chemistry, great communication, they always stood by each other. And just because Sizzy has to be endgame there were suddenly weird-ass tension between them for no real reason – none that 3A Saia wouldn't have worked through like pros anyway – just so this break up wouldn't come out of absolutely nowhere. It's shit treatment of both their characters and their relationship and I'm just so exasperated with it all. (Also not the way to endear me to Sizzy. But at this point I feel like a broken record.)

Discount? It was free. Which I'm still finding super hard to believe by the way, that a werewolf establishment would just give out free food to vampires who don't even work there. But what do I know, right, I mean it's not like they just mentioned a few minutes ago how werewolves and vampires hate each other? Right?? Hahaha.

Wow. This actually takes the time to highlight that this break up wasn't as amicable as Simon thought. Maybe he thought that they were breaking up for human reasons, but Maia clearly feels she threw her relationship away for the pack and it's hard for her. And Simon's tirade wasn't really encouraging her to let him know that. I really appreciate that detail.

Other things I want to say: 1) I didn't like that Maia just flat out broke up with him. She should have informed him that she was going to step up for the pack and would have to prioritize that over their relationship and then leave it up to him if he wants to put up with that or not. By breaking up she made the choice for him. Her course of action is ic, I'm not critizising that, but from like, a personal stand point I don't like it. 2) Foreshadowing: Since her whole pack gets slaughtered, if that would have been the only reason to break up with Simon she coulda just gotten back together with him lol. Haha sorry I'm trash. I know.

Wow he's really dumb. He knows Heidi's brand of crazy and still he doesn't realize this was a trap. He said himself that Heidi must have done something for the Preator to be after her, and when the Praetor tells him she's been leaving copses left and right he...... takes this as his cue to ally himself with Heidi??? Wtf?????? Does he not believe what Jordan said? Again, he suspected something like that himself and since the Praetor are playing at being the Downworlder Police they wouldn't just make something like that up with no proof. The heck. I don't get you, Boss Vampire Guy.

Also, thumbs down for the Praetor, if they'd just told them their source was Heidi herself (on the phone) this could have been prevented. But, ugh. With how things are I can at least kinda buy that no working communication between vampire clan and Praetor exists.

Still, if the Praetor wants to be accepted as some kind of Shadow World Institution they should really work on their manners.

.................................................

I I don-- I can't. *sigh* I can't believe I just had to watch this with my own two eyes. Have they not been trained for a case like this? A fellow shadowhunter injured in the field? That activating the healing rune should be the first thing you do? Before lovingly prying information from the dying person?? I mean, if that's not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is. Sure, he needs to give them a snippet of info, but not too much. But please, please, couldn't writers have found a way for this that didn't make them look like the stupidest of idiots in the entire frikkin world?! Wtf. WTF. I can't believe it.

Uuuuuuh how did she know how to turn those things if all she had to work with was Don't use brute force?? Do I have to understand that?

“You brought coffee, after all.”

Look she's so ashamed she even turned away from the screen haha. Also it's so refreshing to see grown ass people approach a relationship like idiotic teens. (Yeah, that was sarcastic.)

“And right now I wanna do you.” Hahahaha sorry, too good to pass up, you can bet your ass imma turn this into a dumb comic XD

“I love you, Clary. And I'll love you until I die. And if there's a life after this I'll love you then, too.”

Okay, I wanted to roll my eyes at their love confession, but what Jace said was actually really sweet <3

Alec: All our people were accounted for at the time of the murder. Izzy: We think it was a Clave hit.

Oh couldn't have been one of the millions of Shadowhunters from another Institute? No, I'm sure Alec checked that on their neat little Shadowhunter Intranet, that all other Shadowhunters all over the workd were accounted for as well. Honestly.

Also, Maryse says “By the angel,” but in the German Dubbing she says “What the angel” which makes it seem as if Shadowhunters curse by replacing dirty words with “angel” and just... what the angel XD

Why the hell are they all so obsessed with Latin? Ugh. Exhausting hobby.

Btw lol, please rewatch that scene, the background music is weirdly reminiscent of the Stranger Things Theme hahahaha. (Also omg I'm peeking into the German dubbing and it doesn't even make SENSE hahaha what the shit.)

LOL that's like the soulmate trope but in painful XD basically the creepy incest edition XD But honestly can we appreciate what a nice hand Jonathan has with a knife and with his left hand?? Prodigy.

This is it, the final proof that they actually all live at the Jade Wolf hahahha.

...................................? Why the f is she happy to see Jordan? Last time they saw each other she clearly stated she hated him?? Do I need to understand?? Oh right. In the books Maia and Jordan get back together. Right. Stupid, why am I even surprised by this??

Wtf isn't he the clan leader? Why the hell is he acting so submissively to Heidi all of a sudden? Literally half a day ago he threw her out of his clan, knowing his place. And now he's like a puppet on her strings. Wtf. But I guess that happens when you treat characters as plot devices. They get inconsistent even if they only have two scenes. *sigh*

Awwww would you look at that, werewolves and vampires fighting with fists like mundanes. (Okay some of them had like, daggers, but where are the fangs and the claws? Honestly.)

Okay I did her injustice in my trailer reaction since this is a vamp and a legitimate fight situation.

Wow that actually surprised me. But Jordan also dies in the books so, oops. Just didn't think they'd skip the getting together.

WOW that really surprised me. I thought Maia would challenge him and they'd have an epic fight to the death or something. (Also wtf Griffin guy, what's with that creeper face.)

To be honest I find it hard to believe that Maia acts like this. Scared out of her mind, yeah sure. But she acts helpless, and she's never been that. When she got that pipe thing I thought she'd use it as a stake. Using it to block the door is smart, too, but why didn't she get another to have a stake? Her whole posture, uselessly hangig over Jordan screams damsel in distress and I don't like it at all.

Edit: I had certain fears how this plotline would be developed in 3x14 which thankfully didn't come true, but my conflicted opinion on this ending scene remains.

Anyway let’s take a moment and appreciate Maia’s Killer Boots.

BTW watched the 3x14 trailer and just.... what. Why the f would Magnus ask Lorenzo of all people for help? He can't be trusted. As if he wouldn't use that opportunity to break Magnus even further! WTF! Where's Catarina? Oh, let me guess, another Drunk Doctor Conference *epic eyeroll*

[zorilleerrant]

2017

January

an amorphous thing A poem about misogyny, in all its forms. I never quite got the ending to do what I wanted, but overall I think it’s strong.

Fandom: Cho Chang bio I don’t know if you want to call this a ficlet or what? I think I’m going to expand it or something. Just a musing on why she’s called Cho Chang.

poem This is sort of a poem and sort of a joke because fuck the environment I guess; it was topical at the time I think.

musing on seasonal affective disorder An addition to something I really liked that someone else wrote, because I was having feelings about SAD. The initial story is wlw; my addition is nblw even though I was trying to match the tone and style of the original.

there is a demon A poem about femininity, bisexuality, and mental illness. Our narrator is, I think, a makeup youtuber? Or something like that. This was written in response to people saying just awful things about makeup hobbyists.

HP fic: Courage Hermione deals with racism. I always headcanoned Hermione as middle eastern, so I wanted to add something with that because I don’t see it a lot even when people intentionally make her nonwhite.

American Gods/Sookie Stackhouse fic: Small Town Mentality A little character study about Shadow interacting with Sookie. This was when I was rereading American Gods, and I was like. You know, these books have similar vibes and similar canons. Timeline wise it’s set about halfway through American Gods and a few years before the first Sookie book. (The title is about not-my-business isolationism, not racial violence.)

The Maze Runner book review Musing on the worldbuilding problems in the book and how writers can and should do better than that.

February

Shadowhunters fic: Parabatai A lot of people were invested in the part where Jace could tell that Alec boned. Just my take on the thing. There’s sex in this one. Probably my most popular fic to date.

March

untitled Beauty and the Beast fic From the perspective of LeFou waxing poetic about Gaston.

Shadowhunters fic: Love Will Tear Us Apart Magnus blames himself about Raphael drinking Izzy’s blood. So tbh I don’t actually remember this fic and I don’t think anyone liked it? I will have to read it over at some point and see what it is.

Shadowhunters fic: A Fish Without a Bicycle This is a companion piece to Parabatai; going along with the Parabatai bond being a sort of metaphor for an erotic relationship, it posits Izzy as aspec and explores that a little.

Shadowhunters fic: Answers Another companion piece. Just a lot about Alec exploring his sexuality and trying to figure stuff out.

Shadowhunters fic: Forever Home Magnus being A Dad, to cats and other magical creatures.

April

queer is not a slur Just a poem bitching at people about the ‘omg q slur’ nonsense.

untitled six word story look it’s only six words either read it or don’t. (it’s not very good.)

the two genders A poem about how stupid gender essentialism is, and how people apply it to literal newborn babies.

untitled poem ???

May

Static Shock fic: No Flams Prepz Hotstreak talks to a (presumably court mandated) therapist.

Static Shock fic: Worry Static’s dad worries about the kids in his life.

Static Shock fic: Everybody Makes Mistakes Character study on Virgil, pilot centric. (Contains guns.)

mall gothic Yes, that’s a pun. No, I don’t know what the point of this was either.

let me tell you something about not being confident in your writing A poem about writing and your feelings about what you’ve written. It’s supposed to be inspirational probably.

ROY G. BIV A poem about what does and does not exist. Implicitly about LGBT+ gatekeeping but there’s nothing direct in it. I like this one a lot.

June

flag a poem on why I didn’t like the Philly pride flag back when everyone was gushing about how pure and perfect it was.

pride a poem that I think was mostly bitching about people being like ‘don’t do xyz you’re ruining pride!’ or like gatekeeping or whatever. not sure if it stands up without context

Ocean Short story about a nonbinary mage questing after a fantasy sword. Written on the assumption this is a typical high fantasy universe so no there are no proper safety protocols or historical preservation procedures. Mildly comedic.

poetry isn’t real just a micropoem about poetry, the most common topic for poetry

I have a poem about gatekeeping. someone probably told me I wasn’t allowed to use the word queer (again) or like accused me of not understanding queer history? I don’t know it happens. this poem is probably triggering if you’ve got issues with violence generally or queerphobic violence in specific

queer is another poem about gatekeeping. prose poem. I don’t know man people keep going on about bullshit

Static Shock fanfic: Protest Static meets Magneto. The timeline on this is obviously confusing af, but like, imagine it’s during the corresponding irl point of any of the major ups of BLM protests, within Static’s timeline somewhere after he’s got the hang of heroing but before he’s really used to it, and in Magneto’s timeline, somewhere during the initial rise of the Brotherhood. This was just an idea that got stuck in my head and that’s about it.

Static Shock fanfic: Attraction Virgil/Richie. Just an excuse to write puns.

Static Shock fanfic: Marathon Static & Rubberband Man. Fluff

Static Shock fanfic: Frieda Character study. Also ruminating on bullying and sexual harassment. (It’s about the gun violence episode, if that gets to you.)

Static Shock fanfic: Educational Overnight Crossover with Batman. Mostly animated Batman continuity (although largely backfilled from Batman Beyond), but I don’t think it super matters to the text of the thing. Static pretends to be Batman and has to face off against the Riddler. Also featuring Richie in hot pants (as Robin).

July

okay. so. musing about writer’s block, self-esteem/mental illness, and the thought processes that go into writing. maybe a prose poem? I don’t know what you would call this particular form

growing up depression poetry

August

a few points bullet list formatted poem about writing and writing advice

Welcome to Fae Mart humorous story about retail in Faerie

September

Let’s Talk About Slurs it’s a poem about people who smugly claim they’d never say a slur

on good and evil a prose poem or something. about how bigotry is learned (and, sort of, unlearned) and why attitudes about it make no sense

Queer as Folk fanfic: Not Always in the Same Way Hunter being bi

November

just the same prose poem about intersectionality and bigotry and how people always conflate everything into neat little soundbites. there’s a bit about reylo at the end there, too, because I kept seeing shit about it at the time, so watch out if that’s a thing for you

December

tw villanelle yeah I only write villanelles what about it? anyway this one has a bunch of violent rhetoric and bad opinions; it’s from the perspective of antis. it’s not very good but the rhymes sound nice