#but also kan is just the saddest most resigned version of the 'this is fine' dog in a fire
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(SMYM spoilers)
RIP Director Somsak, your first love begged Doctor Kan to kill him and you spent the next decade grieving and grudgy, your last love killed you. for Doctor Kan.
#and this is why you shouldn't be a forced birther and a doctor who tries to pull doctors (or pharmacists!)#they are simply not going to vibe with your definition of life beginning at conception!!!!!!!#and if they're good doctors they're simply not going to vibe with your indifference to bodily autonomy!#(boss DID vibe with this otoh which is why eye believe their relationship succeeded for as long as it did <3)#but for real rewatching w/ friends and this made me sad laugh for him#director somsak can't catch a break#doctor kan takes all his men one way or another :/#it's a shame he and his fucked up beliefs keep losing to the gaslighting girlboss but dem's da breaks#spare me your mercy#smym#smym spoilers#dear diary#btw i won't make a new post for this but the rewatch has absolutely enforced 1. how much i wish kan had taken boss on as a project#instead of seeing him as repulsive and irredeemable sigh MAYBE but THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW MY YAOIS GO#2. how much kan being THAT unhingedly committed to keeping tew in his life has to be because they came together grieving the same woman#a woman kan doesn't believe he needs to or should be grieving but toootally is#plus the peculiar guilt of believing wholeheartedly in what he did for her but also seeing that the timing deeply hurt her beloved son#and trying to love him in her stead#but also damn how EXCRUCIATINGLY lonely kan must be as well#like kan catches tew going through his closet and is just like /with pain in his eyes#'whatever the reason that you've chosen to stay in my home' implied: including your obvious desire to investigate me for murder#'i'm grateful you're here'#brooooooo#lol it's v obvious on the rewatch how much all the gaslighting and shifting reality fucked tew up#but also kan is just the saddest most resigned version of the 'this is fine' dog in a fire#in conclusion: i love toxic yaoi
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