#but also i'm not tagging the anti tag because this ended up being nicer than i was expecting...

[saintsenara]

Absolutely no pressure if it really does make you uncomfortable to talk about but I would LOVE to hear about why dramione pisses you off... first and foremost because I'm a card-carrying dramione hater and there's nothing quite as enjoyable as a fellow hater articulating their haterade. Please. I'm handing you the mic. Go to town. (If you want!)

thank you very much for the ask, anon - and it's very sweet of you to ask whether dramione makes me sincerely uncomfortable [it doesn't, and if there's ever a day when i find harry potter shipping preferences that deep i shall face god and walk backwards into hell]. i subscribe to one belief in fandom above all others - that you can write yourself into, and out of, the most nonsensical premises if you are willing to engage with your characters in their full spectrum and if you have enough nerve. which is to say, there is almost certainly dramione out there that i would regard as interesting and well done, which feels coherent as a premise within which to situate both hermione and draco's canon selves, and which does so by being unsparing in how it deals with the whole "he thinks she's literally subhuman" thing...

but the reason i don't like dramione as a pairing is because i've never actually seen it done in a way that actually is interesting.

i'm on the record as a straightforward hater of fanon!hermione - the preternaturally perfect, incandescently beautiful "brightest witch of her age" [lupin means by this - please, i am begging you all to understand - that she's clever for a fourteen-year-old, not that she's some sort of epoch-defining intellect] who makes you wonder if we've all forgotten the early-00s flame wars over mary-sues. i am also on the record as a hater of the classic draco-in-leather-pants version of the other half of our pairing - draco is an insecure, pointy little dickhead whose jokes always flop, and he is so much more fun in this form than he is as the suavest man alive.

and, obviously, dramione is famous for being beholden to these characterisations [something, if i may, which is really letting harmony and snamione off the hook...]. and that is just so boring! even in a setting in which an author doesn't want to deal with the context of blood-supremacist prejudice - and good for them! why not! - i would much rather see fics think interestingly about how mashing draco and hermione's personalities together would actually go. how would he handle her constant need to debate things? how would she handle his fits of crippling jealousy? how would he handle her stubbornness? how would she handle his self-interestedness?

and i think something quite striking could actually come of this... as i've noted elsewhere, draco's narrative mirror is ron, who is obviously a ride-or-die hermione stan, and there is - therefore - a way set out within the arc of canon for thinking about how hermione and draco might interact. it could be a genuinely fantastic piece of enemies-to-lovers fun, but this would involve both hermione and draco's canonical characteristics being thought about [and harry and ron's: the former always seems to come around to dramione really quickly, while the latter is written as a death-eater-adjacent boor who doesn't want the woman who "belongs to him" to be happy], and i'm afraid that the vast, vast majority of dramione writing seems to have no interest in doing this when "just make him suave and her perfect" exists...

but, of course, there is a second major objection which i know many people have to dramione: that he is a member of a terrorist organisation which believes in eradicating people like her, and that he believes wholeheartedly in that organisation's beliefs.

and my feelings about this are more complicated.

because, to be frank, as someone who has - only this week - written harry having a sensual little snog with his parents' murderer, i can't really get up on my high-horse about people shipping the heroes with the villains. and, indeed, i won't - another fandom [and life!] principle i have is that the potential of redemption for everybody is one of the most important things about humanity; that even the most evil people can repent and repent sincerely; and that love is strange and unpredictable.

i do think something interesting could be done with draco having to unlearn literally everything about his life, and with both him and hermione grappling with their personal limits when it came to remorse and forgiveness as they realise that, against all the odds and no matter the heavy weight of the past, they want to make something together. but, once again, the standard move in dramione seems to be a sort of "nooo, he didn't really mean it!" or a "hermione gets over it immediately because he didn't rat them out when the snatchers caught them!" [no - he didn't rat harry out. he doesn't seem to have a problem with hermione getting tortured by bellatrix...] or a "well harry using sectumsempra means i'm over the fact he called me a mudblood" or "uwu he was sixteen". and, once again, i think it's dull!

and this, of course, brings us to the other category of dramione - the one in which she's a dirty little fucktoy for a sadistic pureblood lord. while this is at its worst in other hermione/death eater ships, we've all seen the fics: hermione is given to draco as a forced bride; hermione is given to draco as a sex slave; hermione is given to draco to be degraded etc.

i have no moral objection to people wanting to read and write this stuff, because i'm neither a cop nor a priest. my objection, once again, is that this is dull.

i think there is something really, really interesting which could be done with draco finding himself attracted to hermione despite what he's been raised to believe about her, above all for the way this could be used to play with the gendered dynamic we might expect to find when this trope is used.

discrimination is justified by societies - again and again throughout the course of history - with the claim that it protects women [and men's claim to them]. we can imagine easily that this is the same in the wizarding world because voldemort literally tells us so - in the opening chapter of deathly hallows he explicitly equates tonks' marriage to lupin as the cause of the "rot" in the black family tree, before he goes on to murder charity burbage while accusing her of supporting miscegenation.

what we see less frequently is the idea that men need to be protected from the other - societies are much more amenable to seeing men's behaviour as hypocrisy [and tolerating this] rather than moral corruption, and we can assume in the wizarding world that it would be perfectly acceptable for a pureblood man to have a muggleborn mistress or a half-blood love-child in a way it never would be for a pureblood woman.

so how does draco justify his attraction to hermione to himself? how does he keep her a secret? how does he think of women more generally, if he has a pureblood wife at home and a muggleborn woman he cheats on her with? does he see nothing contradictory about sneaking off into broom cupboards and then strutting into the slytherin common room and telling pansy parkinson that hermione is a digusting mudblood dog?

or, does he get the other side of the coin? do lucius and narcissa think he's being corrupted? is his temptation all-consuming? will he lie about hermione attacking him to save face? will he turn on the tears and place her in unimaginable danger and then feel only the slightest hint of regret?

and i just think that has so much more potential than your standard "draco's sadistic but, more importantly, he's hot" stuff.

because i will read things that are objectively baffling if they are, at least, interesting. dramione nation, i'm begging you... just be interesting.

[anghraine]

thatinsufferableb-st-rd said:

@anghraine so i have read the books multiple times and am an avid fan of the movies. I enjoy both for what they are. I think the main difference is that Peter Jackson was very open about what they chose to cut and why from anything I've ever seen. They even have Sam give a nod to the book readers by saying "by rights we shouldn't even be here". No I'm not happy about what they did with Faramir and Glorfindel got jipped, and I would have lover to have seen Elronds sons but at the end of the day there were acknowledgments of what and why. Rings of Power to me has always come off as hiding from any criticism by using the shield of "well if you don't like it it's because you don't like POCs in it". To which I genuinely could not give a fuck less, like there are so many branches of elves that went different ways so that could make sense within what Tolkein established. But don't hide behind that when your writing is just "Sauron is evil. We know. And we know she knows. But we have to make it seem like she's the only one who Has A Clue so we must all try to shoo her off to make a plotline"

@lesbiansforboromir has already correctly and politely pointed out that you are doing the very thing we were criticizing in that post—intruding on ROP fan discussion to unfavorably contrast the show to the Peter Jackson films, while also applying a degree of scrutiny to ROP that the Jackson films are rarely subject to in a remotely comparable way and could not bear. Frankly, @lesbiansforboromir is nicer and more restrained than I am about this, but you chose to tag me as well, so I'll also respond.

We (lesbiansforboromir and I) were talking about being excited about costuming in S2 of ROP and disliking the fandom meltdowns over ROP's costuming looking (somewhat) different from the films' aesthetic. Since it had already come up in their discussion, I added that I'm not convinced by the anti-ROP contingent framing their seething hatred of the costuming and design as just caring so much about fidelity to Tolkien's vision. I pointed out that Tolkien fandom broadly cares far more about their preferred, film-influenced aesthetics than Tolkien's actual descriptions and gave some specific examples of this.

There's been a lot of talk, for instance, about how the universally long, flowing hair for Elves preferred by the fandom and used in the films is actually totally canon according to Tolkien even if it's rarely mentioned in LOTR proper. This is inaccurate. Galadriel's brother Aegnor is typically depicted in the fandom/film-preferred style rather than per Tolkien's description of his hair as "strong and stiff, rising upon his head like flames" (indeed, in general neither Aegnor nor anyone else is ever depicted this way, and this description rarely shows up in the lists of "no it's about ethics in adaptation" Tolkien hair quotes).

Tolkien repeatedly describes Elvish, peredhel, and Dúnadan women as wearing their hair bound up in braided coiffures with jeweled hair pieces/nets rather than loose and flowing à la the films and the fandom. Nobody cares, any more than they care about Tolkien's description of Arwen's clothing as soft, grey, and noticeably devoid of ornamentation apart from a belt and netted cap (i.e. the opposite of her highly elaborate film costuming and typically loose, unbound, uncovered hair in the films and most illustrations).

Meanwhile, my fave Faramir's hair is nowhere near long enough in the films or most art to mingle with Éowyn's as Tolkien describes. It's usually also depicted as blond, reddish, or brown rather than black as in the book; in Tolkien's LOTR, all described Gondorians have dark or black hair, with the only difference in coloring being that some Gondorians are dark-skinned and some are pale. Again, almost nobody in the fandom cares about this when they're going on about costume design and casting to reflect Tolkien's vision, and male Gondorians are overwhelmingly depicted with short or shoulder-length hair in the films and in Tolkien illustrations.

Popular depictions of Gondor, including the Gondor of the films, very rarely reflect Tolkien's description of Gondor's aesthetic as similar to ancient Egypt, the Byzantine Empire, and the Roman Empire. Film Gondor has, at most, extremely vague allusions to Byzantine architecture amidst the general and deliberate westernization of Gondor's design—as just one example among many, Tolkien's explicitly Egyptian-based design for the royal crown of Gondor is converted to a generically western European-style crown in the films and overwhelmingly in the fandom.

I then pointed out that it's been very noticeable that ROP haters tend to have a powerful double standard wrt fidelity when it comes to the Jackson films. For over 20 years, most film fans have been constitutionally incapable of tolerating even slight criticism of the films without jumping in to defend their greatness and condescendingly explain the most basic elements of adaptation. (Yes, we know film is not the same medium as text, we know changes are part of adaptation to another medium, we all know that, we all know that a word-for-word adaptation would suck and never be made, this is not new information and does not make the PJ films' every choice a good one.) Yet most film LOTR fans who vocally despise ROP display none of the charity towards ROP that they demand for the films (demand even from someone like Christopher Tolkien, a dead man the entire fandom is deeply indebted to, whose dislike of the films still leads to regular attacks on his character from Jackson film stans).

This hypercritical yet hyperdefensive tendency in the fandom is neatly illustrated by the fact that you responded to a conversation about the double standards in evaluations of ROP's costuming vs the films' to go on about how ROP is objectively bad for reasons entirely unrelated to costuming, how you're totally not racist (something nobody was talking about), and to quote you directly, "Like the show was just Bad." Truly, an incisive critique. Meanwhile, your concessions with regard to the Jackson films are mainly about extremely minor and defensible omissions like removing Glorfindel and the sons of Elrond rather than the serious and fundamental problems that lesbiansforboromir and I have with them, or even the ways they do pretty much the exact same things you're lambasting ROP for.

I mean, if we're going to talk about action hero Elves in ROP vs the Jackson films, what about the action hero-ification of Legolas in the films? He was described by Tolkien himself as the Fellowship member who accomplished the least, so super badass battle-skateboarding Legolas hardly represents fidelity to Tolkien's vision. Why should that get a pass while film-stanning ROP haters seethe about ROP!Galadriel being too special, even though Tolkien described her as one of the most special Elves to ever live and specifically as remarkably athletic and insightful?

Meanwhile, film Gimli is reduced to comic relief, the only dwarves taken seriously are conventionally hot ones in The Hobbit films, and Frodo's expressions of strength and fortitude are consistently removed to glorify other characters. Film Gondorians were deliberately designed to seem like useless tin soldiers (which they are in the films, as well as whiter and blonder than Tolkien wrote them) rather than the physically imposing and highly effective fighting force of the book. ROP imagining Elvish rituals upon approaching Valinor that aren't based in Tolkien canon but don't directly conflict with it is absolutely trivial compared to the films' handling of Denethor and Faramir.

The point is not that you, personally, are not allowed to like the films or dislike ROP despite all this. Many people do love the films, including most of my followers. They do have their strengths, though they are extremely racist and few film fans will acknowledge this without soft-pedaling it in some way (esp, since you brought it up, given the context of the truly unhinged degree of racism that has accompanied much of the broader discourse around ROP).

The point is that film fans who hate ROP are constantly showing up in our conversations to be "well actually ROP is just objectively bad, unlike the films, because the show has failings that are also in the films but it's totally different there because of the contents of Peter Jackson's soul" or whatever. The point is the absolutely glaring and obnoxiously hypocritical double standard of defensiveness about the films and obsessive nitpicking of ROP that leads to ROP haters continually going on rants to ROP fans that are unwelcome, uninvited, and usually (as in this case) irrelevant to what was even being discussed.

[a-dragons-journal]

How are you reblogging from anti-factkin blogs but you're literally otherkin? Factkin has been reclaimed and is used by people legitimately. I was skeptical as well until I read a story of a factkin whose kintype was actually some nameless Greek lady from centuries ago, and how that person connected with this woman on such a deep level that they realized it was a past life. It isn't always some "I'm actually [some rich and relevant celebrity]!" troll shit. I expected better from someone who is constantly dealing with antikin.

if I had more sense I'd just delete these, and if I had more energy I'd write out a trademark Relentlessly Polite response like usual, but I have neither, so instead you're getting a very blunt response and you're just gonna have to forgive me. so:

a) you guys really are out here assuming I check the blogs of every person I reblog from for Problematique(TM) content huh

b) could you guys do me a favor and at least tell me who you're yelling at me for reblogging from, preferably before you go on your moral tirade at me

c) gonna be real with you getting both of these literally at the same time makes me think this is probably a troll being a troll, but on the fairly significant chance that they're genuine and from separate people,

d) first off, general life and conflict management advice for both of you: if you want to change people's minds you're going to have to be a little nicer about it in most cases. I am typically fairly tolerant of this kind of behavior, although you've caught me at the end of a bad few weeks, but generally speaking, yelling at people right off the bat - especially when there's a significant chance they didn't even know they'd done the thing you're mad about like in this case - is extremely likely to just make the person you're yelling at defensive and make them shut down and not want to listen to you. maybe try politely explaining. de-escalatory language. that kind of thing. something other than being kind of a jackass right off the bat about something that might have been an innocent mistake

e) my factkin tag is openly available for viewing if you want my actual opinions on the subject, though a lot of it is kind of outdated because I don't engage that particular topic very often. the current tl;dr is I have very complex and conflicted feelings on factkin which results in my actual action plan more or less defaulting to "be nice to people and let them do their own thing unless they're actively going out of their way to hurt people" (which factkin generally are not). you could also have asked

f) if you've been following me for literally any length of time you know damn fuckin' well my opinion on KFF and using 'kin as a verb, you limp noodle. it is also worth noting that my opinion is also that sometimes the grammar is less important than the actual thing being said, and there's a time and a place for correction, but there's also a time and a place to let it slide and focus on the more important core of the actual message. have a brain cell.

g) was "cringe" really the best insult you could come up with, my guy? between otherkin, of all people? 0/10, make an effort.

[bookofmirth]

Fandom! Just curious...like wouldn't SJM be aware of the fandom chaos? Even in some form? Maybe I'm just a bit anal and obsessive but when/if I publish a book I'd look into what my fans are thinking and if things got this bad release a statement or something. Am I just not that intune with what the publishing/author things are like? Or am I just more anti sjm than I originally thought I was. Because this is not okay and no one is holding these people, whatever ship they are, responsible.

No, I really doubt she knows. And personally, I don't think it's her responsibility. We built this mess, we are the ones behaving and reacting this way. It's ours to clean up.

Sorry, I get on my soapbox a bit here re: the acotar fandom.

From what I know, sjm intentionally keeps herself out of any sort of internet discussion. In one of her most recent events, she said that she doesn't even have any social media apps on her phone, and just uses it to play solitaire or something like that. And I think that Steph said she doesn't tell Sarah about any of it because of her mental health. There is 0 reason for her to need to know that people were joking about kidnapping her kid or her husband choking. The fandom is such a clusterfuck right now, that how would she be able to see through the noise to the actual, useful information, not to mention how could she engage with it?

I think there are some good reasons for this - I can't even imagine how I would react to seeing an entire anti community dedicated to me and my work. A lot of the criticism or discussion online is... suspect, at best. What good would it do her to read someone's headcanon? Or someone's completely subjective analysis of a scene? That's also tricky territory because authors aren't supposed to see any written fan work stuff, or they could be accused of taking ideas from people. I'd also rather she not know because I don't want fan service books. I want the organic story she wants to tell.

Also, fandom is a completely separate monster that the books, the publisher, and sjm did not create. Our behaviors are our responsibility. It's like the Wild West out here and some of us are taking full advantage to be assholes they always aspired to be. But there is no Fandom Police, which in cases like yesterday, kinda sucks.

I understand the desire to want sjm to make a statement. When Steph was getting a raft of shit for not shipping elriel anymore, I thought that surely Sarah would say something. I thought now this is personal, so she should get involved. But the thing is - and this is why I often choose not to reblog things with negative content - her response would also give that behavior a larger platform and more attention. And for someone with sjm's following? It would be 1000000% times worse.

And honestly? Even if she did say something, then people would just cry "death of the author" (inaccurately, might I add) and continue doing whatever they want to do. There is a fundamental lack of respect for other people that these behaviors indicate, and Mommy Sarah coming out and chiding everyone isn't going to make it better. People need to be held accountable, but it so quickly spirals into deflection, defensiveness, and then rerouting the conversation to insult OP, that what's the point? Sometimes I want to hold people accountable, but at the end of the day, that's not my job or responsibility, and all I can do is control my own actions.

My advice is to just be vigilant with who you do and don't follow, freely use the block button, and don't go into spaces that you know aren't safe. Right now, that's almost all of Twitter, and from what I hear, BookTok isn't that great either. I stick to tumblr, I have tags blocked, and I have about 40-50 fandom-related blogs blocked.

Unfortunately - and this is what makes all of this even worse - the fandom is proving itself to be very unsafe for people of color, and that's disgusting to me. It's disgusting and embarrassing and makes me want to peace out when people are just here trying to have fun, and a woman of color who rightfully calls out disgusting behavior is then subjected to something 1000% worse, essentially derailing the conversation away from the actual problem - racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism in the fandom - and turning the discussion into tone policing.

And that is what happened yesterday. Instead of reflecting and saying "wow, this fandom is doing shitty, racist, ableist things", the discussion turned into "omg why is OP calling people out, OP thinks she's so smart, OP needs to say these things differently, OP should be nicer", etc. etc. But that means WE NEVER END UP ACTUALLY CRITIQUING THE ORIGINAL PROBLEM OF RACISM, SEXISM ETC. IN THE FANDOM. The entire discussion gets skewed elsewhere and we are right back where we started. With people being problematic assholes, and others being afraid to say anything about it.

(The way those phrases have been used as weapons in ship wars is a separate issue.)

I know I went way beyond your original question, but I think that as a fandom, we have way more responsibility for our own actions than Sarah does for calling them out. And I am putting this in all the tags because I think everyone needs to see it.

[radioromantic-moved]

time for daddy‏‏‎ ‎(yeah the ep is called daddy. sorry. it's not weird like it sounds just weird in a different way). maybe i will lose my mind

-i strongly STRONGLY doubt this episode will get me to like‏‏‎ ‎sherman but alright the song is kinda good. still angry frank didn't get a new song himself though. linda got one!! she's got like 3 now!!!

-speaking of songs if i hear‏‏‎ ‎our‏‏‎ ‎doors‏‏‎ ‎are‏‏‎ ‎open‏‏‎ ‎instrumental in the background at any point i will explode into a million and one pieces <3

-CHRIST OKAY. GETTING INTO IT

-MISSED THESE GUYS TOGETHER SO BADDDD

-me too‏‏‎ ‎nick lang :)

-HE SOUNDS SO HURT THAT SHE'S LEAVING i KNOW it's because she's one of his only employees but i am still SO! SO! AUGH!!!!!!

-ah yeah there it is there's the instrumental i'm dying i'm dying i'm dying i'm dying

-FRANK ANTI-AMAZON CONFIRMED <3 i'm so so so sorry i once implied you wanted to be like jeff‏‏‎ ‎bezos‏‏‎ ‎man you are nothing like that wretched waste of air you are a small town business owner doing your BEST. also this may be the one and only time i will say these words in this order but: lex maybe you should be nicer to frank.

-okay this shit is hitting close to home now...ouch. stores going out of business because of the prevalency of online shopping...

-I FEEL SO BAD FOR PUTTING THIS IN A FIC NOW. GOD. I'M SORRY!!!!!!!

-HIS DOG :(((((( this is so fucking sad i knew most of it was coming but it still makes me miserable

-after this episode confirmed frank has a genuine appreciation for toys beyond just selling them someone in the tags mentioned autistic frank and yeah i'll absorb that permanently into my canon of course i will. most of you weren't here for the post about frank‏‏‎ ‎selling‏‏‎ ‎stim‏‏‎ ‎toys after i explain to him what autism is but it has a sequel now. frank starts using the stim toys and does his own research and calls me later like Hey So.

-"and when the doors opened, it was my store!"

-sobbing. sobbing. crying and sobbing and TEARS! i just know i will look at all of his scenes in black‏‏‎ ‎friday‏‏‎ ‎differently after this

-still hate sherman but at least he keeps frank in business

-i will not be jealous that frank gets a love interest. i will not be jealous that frank gets a love interest. i will not be jealous tha

-it helps that she's evil. also helps that she's like. hot evil. yeah if i was in his situation i'd marry her too. i still have complex emotions about it.

-"yeah, she's a milf"

-when i said i wanted frank to get another song i did not mean the sugar glider mlp‏‏‎ ‎knockoffs' theme song.

-frank immediately getting less invested when sherman says "growing up is for poor people"... you do have morals king!

-STOP BEING A DICK NOW THAT YOU'RE RICH YOU'RE RUINING YOUR SPOT AS MOST REDEEMABLE/LIKEABLE OREN PRINCIPLE GUY

-sherman age reveal...

-"WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE, SHEILA? :D"

-the fucking exasperation in his voice. he has immediately become sick of this.

-becky‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎barnes‏‏‎ ‎:)

-frank looks surprised and kind of grossed out when sheila insults becky. women respecter

-"because this is the pediatrics wing and he's a grown ass man :)"

-FRANK'S CAPITALIST DISILLUSIONMENT ARC <33333 SO SEXY OF HIM ACTUALLY

-okay yeah the‏‏‎ ‎man‏‏‎ ‎in‏‏‎ ‎a‏‏‎ ‎hurry‏‏‎ ‎is funny but i won't forgive people for caring more about him than frank in‏‏‎ ‎Frank's Episode

-YAYYYY!!!! FEAST‏‏‎ ‎OR‏‏‎ ‎FAMINE‏‏‎ ‎INSTRUMENTAL!! BITING AND CHEWING (POSITIVE)

-"I'M SORRY, LEX......"

-WEEPING AND WAILING!! AND LOSING MY MIND!!!!!!!!!

-yayayayayay lore...eats it...

-BAD END :(

well i don't like that frank is sad now but!!! we got new content!!!! he has motivations and hobbies and relationships!!!! that i can BUILD OFF OF!!!! and he really does care about lex...in his own way...congratulations‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎frank‏‏‎ ‎pricely‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎on the character development and sorry about your new awful son. don't worry i'll get rid of him in fanfic.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ro & Ali

Ro: …---… Ro: Mayday mayday Ali: This is AlleyCat, roger your mayday, position is our bedroom, how can I be of assistance? Ro: That was a very efficient response Ro: What would your ETA be for reaching the fantasy section of the library? Ali: Constant vigilance, Rosaline Ali: 15 minutes ish providing the hairy-footed hobbits aren't too thick a crowd to cut through Ali: What's the danger? Ro: Let me preface by saying that I could burn a forest of cedar and do not believe I'd be adequately protected Ro: Now that you're forewarned, I'll explain Ro: Kayne is here because his dear sister is having a party at which he is unwelcome Ro: As if her birthday wasn't already cause for lack of celebration enough, I can now not escape his attentions Ali: Yikes! Not to mention the environmental damage too, and if it's not gonna work, we're defs best to avoid Ali: Also the Librarian would probably think you were blazing up back there and using pages of an old Jilly Cooper as roaches and who wants to be tarred with the same brush as Donovan O'Reilly? Ali: Gross, skip the protection spells and the like and go straight for a swift kick in the balls Ali: How is it he's ALMOST as delusional as his sister? Not in this galaxy or one far, far away, honey, c'mon Ro: Precisely Ro: Not to mention of all days today I chose not to wear black and I don't need the ash blow back to ruin this outfit Ro: He's in no way worth that damage either Ro: Hm! I couldn't possibly do that, though I have pondered long and hard enough to suggest telling him that we'd (providing you and Carly would be willing to tag along, that is) crash the party, only to leave him there and make our escape Ro: Perhaps I'm being delusional myself to create a narrative whereby Laoise isn't hyper alert to our presence upon all occasions Ali: That's what it is, you've let your cover down and he's taken it as an invite! Ali: Though sure, you could probably wear a potato sack and he'd still be mooning Ali: Ha, that would be hilarious though! Rock up with a card and a bottle like, hey babes Ali: Least we could leg it, only a few doors to safety, after-all Ro: Oh Ali! I don't know what he sees in me and frankly do not wish to know Ro: What would be proper attire for a soiree at your nemesis' house? Ro: I'm certain she'd love to see me a potato sack even more so than her brother would, so I'll assume not that Ro: Exactly, why would she ever be hesitate to drink anything we offered or read anything we'd scribbled on a piece of paper which may or may not be a curse?! Ro: Very amusing. Unlike the conversational loop I am currently stuck in Ro: To use the term conversation very loosely, of course Ali: DUH, you're beautiful AND smart, not like other girls! Gag Ali: [Sends multiple options with are a lot of black silk, lace, fake fur and leather moments] Ali: Right? We're the perfect party guests Ali: Been ages since we tried anything dark sided, don't let the chic looks fool ya Ali: Oh Lord, what is he even? Last time I got stopped by him on my way to the post office he was prattling on about some online game and I should join and Ali: I'd feel bad for him but he's also intensely dislikeable and entitled with it all so Ro: Oh god, you're not actually considering putting my pretend party crashing into action, are you? Ro: I'm as tempted right now as I've ever been to dabble in dark arts, but that's solely for his benefit, and my own in ending this interaction, not hers Ro: He's offering to tutor me right now, which I neither need nor believe to be his real intentions in asking Ro: I know I'm not as scholarly as you, but that's why I'd turn to you if I needed assistance, not someone whose scores are not even on a par with my lesser subjects Ali: Of course I am Ali: She knows she misses us, you know I know that you need saving Ali: Win win on many different levels Ali: 😂 Nice try, bud Ali: How cliche, taking too many lessons from bad porn and worse romcoms himself, like Ro: Please no Ro: If you bring an invisibility cloak I may consider it, but otherwise Ro: As for Kayne, I almost miss the days he used to put slugs in my hair Ro: He had the excuse of childhood to blame his cliches on and we had some new pets into the bargain Ali: It all comes down to who you'd rather be fighting off, him or her Ali: Pets, or INGREDIENTS, eh, Leesh? Ro: I just snorted, so score one for appearing unattractive, thank you Ro: If I take off my glasses will that likely add or deduct a point? Ro: But to answer your query, the way I see it, Carly's owed a rematch so maybe we should go to the party Ro: Birthday beatings are a time honored tradition, no? Ali: Welcome, if he gives us room to pull of an anti-makeover I bet I can get that score in the minuses Ali: He's defs into the glasses vibe, makes him think he gives a shit about what's on the inside and your brain, as if you aren't the epitome of beauty still Ali: Ooh, true, true, many scores to settle, rights to wrong...I'll see if she's down or wants her own training montage to counteract yours Ali: Now you're sounding like a McKenna! Ro: But even if I switched to contacts, dyed my sister's hair and went shopping for an entirely new wardrobe, he'd still take my personality as an invitation Ro: As though I crafted any of this to appeal to him, or indeed to repel his sister Ro: Just trying not to lose my own voice here as he mansplains the plot of the novel I was faux browsing Ro: I may take a swing for him if this continues for much longer however, and thank Fearghal later for the lessons Ali: You mean its not him, him its all for him? Shocker Ali: You got two options way I see it (still on the peace path, your soul can thank ME later) Ali: Either outwit him and pick a book he so won't understand and show him up with your superior intellect, easy or hard mode, act infuriatingly dumb 'cos that would dead put him off his ideal of you Ali: like Shakespeare who? Is that the Leo movie? Ro: Both excellent suggestions Ro: And I could indeed wax lyrical about how gorgeous Leo was in that movie until the library closes so Ali: Honestly, proof of angels Ro: Thank you, yes! Ro: Not that it's needed, but if people insist upon being ignorant, there you are everyone Ro: He'd never talk down to me about Trolls and Orcs Ali: Seriously Ali: If our teachers ever got creative with the assignments, then I could too, dissertation READY on how this dirty world of ours has tainted him Ali: not quite fallen angel level of dark deeds but he's certainly aging into a Nicholson and not a Caravaggio Ro: If you keep discussing his visual decline I'll have no need for an escape route because I'll simply burst into loud and dramatic tears Ali: Oh God, don't Ali: He'll want to comfort you Ro: Oh Ro: I never thought of that and I hope the mental image never crosses my mind again Ali: Yeah, that's his shit, worst type Ali: as bad as the boys making you cry, that's right Kayne, I said it Ro: I don't understand why he likes me when you exist Ro: Surely you're his type, as you are the bad boys around here, as well Ro: Sorry Tess Ali: Nah, I'm not as nice as you Ali: thus not worthy of his lurve Ali: Devastated, of course Ro: You're nicer than me, as Carly can attest Ali: Only to those who deserve it Ali: He gotta know that Ro: He believes he is one of the chosen though Ali: As far as I know he's neither Jewish nor Harry Potter so Ali: not that those are MY parameters 😂 Ro: He's proud of not having read any of the Harry Potter books as far as I know Ro: And to think we could ever be together! No no Ali: 'Course he is Ali: HATING POPULAR THINGS ISN'T A PERSONALITY TRAIT, NOR IS IT INTERESTING OR ENDEARING TO PEOPLE Ali: Shouting so he can hopefully hear Ro: I would tell him but I'm so embarrassed by everything he's already spoken aloud that I can barely speak Ro: I have to get out of here Ali: Run baby run Ali: I can do a stellar Ma impression Ali: out of the realm you'd be in trouble but I can ring you with drama like Ali: FUCKING HELL, GET HOME NOW, ROCKY'S ON THE ROOF AND THE CHICKEN'S BURNING AND ALI IS NO HELP AT ALL AHH Ro: Please do Ro: I didn't expect to be asking for an invocation of your mother to get me out of trouble but I gladly shall Ro: And owe you one too Ro: I've been on and off my phone so he can't appear as if it'd be out of the blue Ro: Oh and now I'm rhyming... Ali: Find yourself in times of trouble, Mother Tessie comes to thee, speaking words of wisdom, let it be Ali: On it Ali: Scouse don't fail me now Ro: If you keep making me laugh this plan is going to fall apart Ro: If in doubt, speak angry Gaeilge, he doesn't so he'll never know what you're talking about Ali: Into it