#but also horrified because she had watched this show and still doesn't know Rock Bison's name

[43sol]

Sis wrote the most crack, most spelling-error, most uninformed oneshot of T&B that is somehow in-character and awful and I cried real tears of horror and joy. My heart is full right now. imma draw a Most Serious comic of this.

~~~~

Baranby opens his texting app fully expecting that the old  man was having another crisis only to be pleasantly surprised at the content of the messages. 

---

The rapid fire rate of incoming  texts could only mean one person was the sender. 

Hey Bunny-chan!!!~  (^_-)-☆

Crazy week right??! ( ༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ ) 

Well i dont know bout you but i want to kick back and have soem FUn 

And guess what?

And he supposes at this point Kotestu had wanted him to guess but he didn’t answer in the appropriate time alloted and grew impatient. 

Director got me some coupons to a fancy restaurant

And since we still havnet gotten our drinks yet 

Meet me friday at this location!! ∩(·ω·)∩

An address pops into his maps. 

Dont forget to dress up! (≧∇≦)/

—-

Barnaby should have known that something was up when the old man told him to dress up but he was too distracted by the butterflies in his stomach and the heat in his cheeks to think clearly. And by the time Friday rolled around, he had already arrived 20 minutes early dressed in his nines when reality finally began to sober him up. 

He can’t believe he wasted the suit that (as Fire Embelm put it) “made his ass extra phat” on this place. 

He stands there a little too long slack-jawed that Kotetsu actually finds him outside the restaurant. 

“Hey Bunny-chan!” he says in a way that makes Baranby’s heart flutter but also gives him the urge to wrap his hands around that thick sturdy neck, “glad you could make it!”

And there he is. Dressed in his normal clothes.

“I thought you said to dress fancy?” 

“Uh yeah, see?” He does a little twirl and tips his cap forward. “I got my shirt ironed.”

“Old man-” but before he could finish he is ushered inside and they are seated in ‘the best seat in the house’ because oh god Kotestsu actually made a reservation. 

This establishment  is a place Baranby never thought he would in a million years find himself in. But since meeting Wild Tiger, these event have been happening more and more often. 

Looking around the Texas-style decor, the waiters in cowboy outfits and just so much bovine memorabilia…

“This is Tyson Bison Steakhouse and Winery.”

“Yeah super fancy right?!” 

“It’s a franchise.”

“A fancy franchise!”

“There is a cardboard cut out of Tyson Bison behind you.”

“ It’s like having our friends here but not!”

Obviously nothing could ruin the good mood for Kotetsu T Karuragi. Who has seduced not one, but two people in his life with his buffoonary. 

“Whatever.” 

“That’s the spirit! And don’t worry,” he takes the coupons out of his vest and fans himself with them like a rich old lady, “Dinner’s on me!”

—-

Ok. The food wasn’t horrible. 

And the company wasn’t either. 

Maybe he was even enjoying himself? Maybe Kotetsu-san really did have good ideas sometimes. They needed some time to let loose. What was a better place no one would bother them than the franchise chain one of their friends/coworkers sponsors?

And then the check came. 

Kotetsu, in total confidence, hands the cowboy-waiter his coupons with a smile and a wink. The cowboy-waiter is not impressed. 

“Sir, these coupons are good for a free appetizer. I still need your payment information.” 

Wild Tiger laughs nervously. 

Barnaby starts to feel his blood pressure rise. 

“But you see my buddy, the DIRECTOR OF JUSTICE, gave these to me. For a meal here!”

“Yes and the coupons are good for an appetizer.” 

“I don’t see that written here.”

“Please look at the fine print sir.” 

Oh course the old man’s downfall was him being …well old. 

Barnaby decides to throw him a bone especially since the dinner wasn’t that bad. He pulls out his credit card only to be stopped by Tiger grabbing his wrist. 

“I can’t let you do that Bunny. I’m treatin’ ya today.” 

He scoffs. “You didn’t bring enough money old man, I’ll pay.” 

“No I am.” 

“an d how are you going to do that?” 

Kotetsu points to the cardboard cut out behind him. “That’s how.”

“You can’t be serious” 

“You can’t be serious sir”

“I’m very serious Bunny. The sign says if I can finish a 35 ib steak in 20 mins the meal is free.” Kotetsu turns to the waiter, “So bring me my steak!”

“Sir please.”

“Kotetsu san please, this is ridiculous.”

But Kotetsu already is re seated, tying a bib around his neck, fork and knife ready. 

“Bring me my steak!” 

With much horror, Sternbuild’s number one hero watches as the wait staff bring out a massive steak to his waiting partner and a large comically hourglass. 

The original cowboy-waiter looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. But regardless he does his job, “Begin!” 

And Kotetsu shoves the steak into his mouth.

Which lasts about 20 seconds.

Barnaby watches in horror as his work partner and life buddy makes the universal sign for choking and falls to the restaurant floor. 

Diners begin screaming and the wait staff begin scrambling to call the ambulance. 

Barnaby himself falls to the floor next to Tiger’s side as the love of his life gasps and spits out steak chunks. 

Once the coughing subsides, Barnaby can make out a raspy (but sexy) words, “I’m sorry Bunny-chan… I just wanted… to show you a good time…”

“Old man, you’re so stupid…” He would of had fun regardless of where they were. 

Still coughing but able to sit up, “Next time… you choose the place!” 

Barnaby couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“We will waive your bill if you leave now.” Both of the heroes turn to see the original cowboy-waiter behind them, “and if you two never come back we won’t press charges.”