#but YEAH i realized i have a pattern of adding certain details to characters i love

[cakeiilock]

Randall :) (<- predictable )

here is randall !! :3 he's so much fun to draw :D!!

[snowydragon10]

‼️‼️‼️

I think we're approaching this... "Chapter" of the Showgrounds Saga from the wrong direction

Theory Time!!

(It's a bit of a long one, so take your time)

Ok, so we've all been thinking - most of us at least - that this would be SMG3's Focus Arc and his turn to get character development and/or Trauma via a big movie event, but it's not what we expected. When I asked myself why, I came to some questions and theories

So, we've seen the pattern so far, SMG4's Perfection, Meggy's Idolization, and then WotFI happened, which I think was SMG3's Chapter.

I think what happened was that WotFI was his main event. Instead of building up to the tension, they swapped it and had the big event first with the development after, henceforth all of the focus episodes after WotFI regarding his shop, his selfworth and his place with the Crew.

So, "If SMG3 already had his fair share of Puzzle/Adware interference, then who's the focus for this chapter?" You may be asking, and I have the theory:

It's actually Us the Audience

Think about it! There's always some kind of connection between each Movie/Chapter moving towards the next one! In IGBP, while rescuing SMG4, how did Meggy fight off SMG3? Her splatfest skills (Former Splatfest Champion Wren)!! In Western Spaghetti, what did SMG3 have that added to his character from that point onwards? His bombs (Coffe n' Bombs Cafe)!!

So now, what's one connection with WotFI and this one? We the *Audience* are allowed to add our input based on the situation! (The Heist Plan Votes and the Video Reviews!!)

Not only that, BUT when WotFI finished and we got that post credit scene, Mr. Puzzles didn't address just anyone. No, he wasn't talking to SMG4, he wasn't talking to Luke, Marty, or SMG3; he was talking DIRECTLY to us the *Audience* at the 4th wall!

Adware KNOWS that we're finally picking up the hints and pieces!! He finally acknowledged that we're ready for our turn!!

When the first movie came out and he appeared as that keyboard malware virus (when we dubbed him Adware), we didn't think much of it. We thought it was a one-off, a fluke, something to further the story via typical SMG4 Weirdness.

It wasn't until the Western Spaghetti movie hype was building up that everyone realized that there's a pattern happening. That was when fans started pointing out, "Hey! There's something Fishy going on (Ha), and here's the hidden clues to prove it!!". We became suspicious of that damn symbol, and became more vigilant... and then WotFI happened!!

(Addition: I feel like Adware was beginning to test how ready we were when we got that one Steam Link with Tari in an empty room and the TV at the front of the train. Yeah, it was to hype up the movie, but it was also almost like a... puzzle, you could say)

Which could explain why this time it isn't a movie event that lasts for one week, but instead nearly over an entire month! I theorize that Winston wants to test us for some reason, and for that, he needs to collect information. Information like maybe a certain interactive website with reviews. You can't get the audience involved with just a single movie, just saying. Plus, the fact that he said endless entertainment all Saturdays forever? Who's the most involved in that specific detail, hmm?

Also! The theme! Granted, I don't have much proof for this one, but the theme I've noticed is Nostalgia. Blue's Clues isn't something very important to any of the characters that got kidnapped (minus 4 hating content farms) but it can be something that a lot of us have a fond attachment to! Which Adware could use to his Advantage! What better way to get good reviews than to target what the audiences like?

(4th wall sidenote, after that TV song jingle, Winston glances over to the screen directly at Us)

Also, notice how weird it is that the Crew Members that got kidnapped are popular among the fandom? You know, characters that we've gotten attached to? (Don't tell me Bob doesn't have a fanbase of his own). Every time a "Victim" is targeted, their close friends end up getting dragged into the mess.

SMG4 (3, Megs and Mar)

Meggy (Tari, Mario, Axol, DESTI)

SMG3 (Eggdog got a Cameo, 4, Bob??)

Us (Our favorite characters)

....

So, all of this to say, we need to stay on our toes, especially for this chapter. Be wary and all of that. I may be overthrowing it, but hey, theorizing is fun!! What do you guys think?

[petrichoravellichor]

Rebar Not Included

Written for Day 11 of the Supernatural Deserved Better Creative Challenge (prompt: hunting).

Summary: Jody and Donna help out the Winchesters by looking into an Ohio case involving masked vampires, and what do you know: not only do they manage to kill a certain side character from season 1 but they ALSO make it through without dying! Oh, and they kiss, just because they can.

(Read on Ao3)

********************

Jody was just settling down with a book for the evening when her phone rang; she smiled at the name flashing across her screen and swiped left to accept the call. “Hey, Sam.”

“Jody, hi. How are you?”

“Alone, believe it or not. Alex is working the night shift, Claire and Kaia are still on that case down in Miami, and Patience is staying over at a friend’s. Got the whole house to myself.”

Sam chuckled. “That...honestly sounds kind of amazing right about now.”

“How’s Cas? Is he feeling any better?” she asked. It had been nearly a week since Sam and Dean had returned from the Empty with one bedraggled former angel in tow. Jody hadn’t pressed too hard for details at the time—Sam had sounded pretty exhausted when he’d called to tell her they’d made it back safely—but from what she’d gathered, Cas was human now, and his time in the Empty had left him very much in need of recuperation.

On the other end of the line, Sam groaned. “Uh...yeah, you could say that.” A beat, then: “He and Dean haven’t come out of Dean’s room since yesterday afternoon.”

Jody had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Huh. Well, how do you like that: they finally figured it out.”

Sam sighed. “Yeah. Don’t get me wrong; I’m really happy for them. I just wish the Men of Letters had invested in sound-proof walls. But anyway,” he said, changing tracks, “that’s not what I called you about.”

“What’s up?”

“So get this: last night, a family of four in Akron, Ohio, got attacked home-invasion style. Whatever it was killed the dad and drained his blood.”

Jody frowned. “Vampires?”

“I think so, but there’s more. I called and spoke with the police sergeant, and according to her, the attackers left the mom alive but ripped out her tongue, and they also took the two kids.”

Jody’s blood ran cold; she glanced at the photo of Alex, beaming and holding up her nursing degree, over on the mantle. “They’re taking blood slaves.”

“Yeah, looks like it.” Sam paused, then: “The thing is, I don’t think this the first time they’ve done it. Back in ’86, our dad was looking into a string of kidnappings along Route 77, and it was the same thing: whatever it was took the kids and ripped the tongues out of any adult it didn’t drain. By the time Dad started digging around, though, the attacks stopped. Until now, anyway. Here, just a sec, I’m gonna text you something...”

A moment later, Jody’s phone chimed. She put Sam on speaker and tapped to open the message; it was a drawing of what resembled the front part of a skull. “What am I looking at?”

“The mom drew that, the one from the most recent attack; apparently, the perpetrators wore masks. Hang on, I’m sending you another picture. This one’s from our dad’s journal, back when he was working the case in the 80s.”

The second picture loaded, and Jody drew in a sharp breath: the resemblance between the two drawings was unmistakable. “It’s the same nest.”

“That’s what I’m guessing. They seem to always target the same type of home: outside town, isolated, kids between the ages of five and ten. If the pattern from last time holds, they’ll hit Canton next, then East Sparta.”

Jody swallowed. “You want me to look into it.”

“If you’re able to, yeah, that would be great. We’d go ourselves, but what with Cas still recovering and him and Dean...um…” Sam cleared his throat, then continued more smoothly, “I can call someone else if now’s not a good time.”

Jody chewed her lip for a moment, then shook her head. This felt personal. “No,” she replied, pushing herself off the couch and heading to pack a bag, “I’ll take care of it. Let me grab a few hours of sleep, and then I’ll head out.”

“Great, thank you. I’ll dig around online and text you a shortlist of properties around Canton that seem like likely targets.”

“Sounds good; thanks, Sam. Take care.” She smirked, adding, “And tell Dean and Cas I said hello. Whenever you see them, that is.”

Sam snorted. “Will do. Be safe, okay?”

“Always.” She ended the call, then typed out a quick message to Donna: Hey babe. Feel like teaming up to take down some vamps?

********************

The following night, she and Donna were crouched in the shadows near an abandoned barn in Ohio. Sam’s intel about where the nest would hit next had proven accurate, and by the time a black van carrying two masked vampires had pulled up in front of a rural home outside Canton, Jody and Donna were waiting. They dispatched both vampires easily, sparing one just long enough to learn the location of the group’s nest; now, the only thing left to do was clear out the remaining vamps and free the children who’d been taken captive.

“Okie dokie,” Donna whispered, “our toothy friend back there said they keep the kiddos in a room off to one side. We go in through the side door, then you take right, I take left?”

Jody nodded. “Works for me. Come on,” she said, drawing her machete, “let’s go save some kids.”

They crept over to the barn and entered.

At first glance, the place seemed deserted. They fanned out along the walls, searching carefully for any sign of life, but other than the occasional spiderweb, there was nothing. Then, as Jody neared the back of the barn, she heard it: a quiet sniffling sound coming from behind a latched door. She raised her hand and signaled to Donna, who nodded and hurried over; then, while Donna watched her back, Jody opened the door and saw two small, scared-looking little boys peering back at her. The younger one couldn’t have been much older than her own son, Owen, had been when he’d died, and the realization made Jody’s stomach clench.

She lowered her machete and crouched down to the boys’ level. “Hey,” she whispered soothingly, “hey, it’s okay. You can come out; you're safe. We’re not going to hurt you.”

No sooner had she ushered the two boys to her side, however, than she heard Donna’s warning: “Heads up, Jodes; we got company!”

Five figures were approaching slowly from the front of the barn, all armed with blades. Four of them, the two on either side of the central figure, wore masks similar to the drawings Jody had seen in Sam’s text messages. The fifth, however, was a maskless female vampire dressed in dark leather. As the group drew closer, she looked from Jody to Donna and back again with a scowl.

“You’re not the Winchesters,” she said, as though someone were playing a trick on her.

Donna flashed a grim smile. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“Boys,” Jody said, low and urgent over her shoulder, “run.” She heard their frantic footfalls, followed by the slam of the side door. Good, she thought, hefting her machete as the vampires charged: she didn’t want them to see what happened next.

The first vampire lost its head the second it stepped in their space. Jody spun and slashed, Donna at her back, the clash of blades shattering the still air of the night. It was brutal work, bloody work, and Jody took no pleasure in it. Her only objective was to protect: the boys they’d freed, Donna, Sam and Dean. She had no idea what the vampires wanted with the Winchesters, and she didn’t care: whatever it was, she’d make sure they didn’t get it.

Jody had just relieved a second vampire of its head when something flashed on the edge of her vision; she pivoted, raising her weapon just in time. The female vampire’s blade crashed into her machete and sent a shockwave of pain up her arm, nearly causing her to cry out. There was no time for that, though: the vampire swung at her again and again, driving her back from the rest of the fight before rushing forward, barreling into Jody with the force of a tank.

Jody fell hard to the floor. Her machete flew from her hand, and she could only watch as a triumphant smile split her opponent’s face. The vampire raised her blade to deliver a final blow…and then her head flew off in a spray of red. Her body crumpled to the ground, revealing Donna, blood splattered and furious, machete still hovering at the end of its arc.

“Not my girlfriend, you bitch,” she panted, glowering down at the corpse as though sight alone could set it ablaze; then her gaze shifted to Jody, and all the rage seemed to drain out of her at once. “You okay, Jodes?”

Jody exhaled, nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” She peered past Donna, counting the bodies on the ground and sighing in relief when the total came to five. Donna reached out a hand, and Jody took it, allowing Donna to pull her up and into an embrace. They kissed then, slow, reverent, and it was several moments before Jody could bring herself to pull away.

“Come on,” she said quietly, brushing back a strand of Donna’s hair. “We should go find those boys, make sure they get home safely.”

Donna nodded, and they drew apart, then left the barn without looking back.

[freshtomatoesddd]

An Extra chapter i wrote for my TyZula fanfic.

The chapter I've been writing is surprisingly depressing so. So take my mind off it, as well as practice slice of life stuff, I wrote this extra chapter.

TW! MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND RAPE. NOTHING HAPPENS TO THE CHARACTERS, but Azula and Ty Lee talk about a book that contains such elements. They're about 14 at this time, and Ty Lee has started to realize her feelings for Azula.

FLOWERS

The Fire Nation royal garden was one mesmerizing sight to behold to anyone blessed enough to ever graze its beautiful path, let alone one star struck Ty Lee. Though it wasn’t her first time visiting the royal palace, it had been her first time seeing the garden in full. The girl had a grin on her face as she trailed across the garden, observing in detailed delight the many sorts of flowers the Fire Lady had so patiently cultivated. They came in all sort of colors, most being some shade of red and yellow, though there were a few whites and even purples scattered about. The scent of the flowers took Ty lee by surprise, most bearing a fragrant and pleasant smell she seldom came across her own home, intoxicating the brunette with their soft yet pleasurable scent.

“As you can see, I have the best garden,” Azula stated, loud and proud as she usually was.

Ty Lee’s attention laid still on the bunch in front of her, scarlet red petals peeking at her, it’s thorny stems nearly drawing the girl to at least poke it. A bit stupid if spoken out loud, however, Ty Lee always had an urge to at least press her fingers against such thorns. Certainly not enough to draw blood, but only out of curiosity, to see what would happen, how it would feel.

“Yeah, congrats,” Mai said, Ty Lee hearing her footsteps as she walked around the garden.

“Where did the Fire Lady find all these flowers?” She asked.

“From all corners of the Fire Nation, some as far as Ember Island,” Azula said.

Ty Lee turned around, her gaze met Mai, the girl’s fingers fiddling with the leaves of a bush.

“Huh, that’s pretty cool,” Mai said.

Azula scoffed as she crossed her arms. She raised one brow and pursed her lips ever so slightly, annoyance covering her face as she spoke. Her golden pupils stared at Mai with such intensity, as if they were to pierce through Mai’s body. Even in the midst of what seemed to be a rather casual conversation, Azula looked so serious. Ty Lee wondered what it would be like to have such a ferocious stare placed on her.

“I don’t see how. Anyway, let’s go play hide and seek,” she said.

Mai groaned. “Please, not that, you always make us hide and chase after us like some hungry tiger monkey.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be chasing after you if you’re hiding spots weren’t so easy to find, obviously,” Azula said.

Ty Lee looked off to the side, wondering how nice it would be for Azula to chase after her, how frustrated the princess would get if she couldn’t reach her. Surely, Ty Lee thought, the look on her face would be priceless, cute even.

“Yeah, Mai, you should be more creative with your hiding spots,” the brunette jumped in.

Mai turned to her. “Don’t tell me you’re siding with her.”

Ty Lee waved her arm. “Nah, it’s not that. I’m just saying, you know, if you don’t wanna be chased around then you should probably look for hard to find places.”

“Well too bad I don’t know any hard to find places.”

“Yeah that’s what I mean, you should try and find them, you know?” Ty Lee said.

“You’re precisely correct, Ty Lee,” Azula said.

The brunette turned to the princess. “Wait, really?”

Azula quirked up a brow. “That’s what I just said.”

Ty Lee’s eyes widened for a split second. She quickly looked away, knowing that she might risk burning up at the sight of Azula, after she had agreed with her as well. Ty Lee pursed her lips, knowing full well how ridiculous her feelings were. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way, not for any girl, and most definitely not Azula. She wondered why she had even developed such feelings for the young princess, only to be met with more than a dozen answers. From her intellect, to the way she spoke, her determination and single-minded drive, Ty Lee admired all of it and more. Ty Lee sighed, wishing the boys around her were as cool, as driven. Perhaps then, she’d be able to feel about them the same way she did Azula.

Ty Lee’s grey eyes pranced around the garden as Mai and Azula argued over the intricacies of hide and seek, the brunette eventually spotting the crown prince walking beside the Fire Lady. As per usual, they were engrossed in conversation, Zuko stuck close to his beloved mother. Ty Lee didn’t blame the boy, for the Fire Lady had a certain poise and charm to her. From her warm gaze, her inviting smile, down to the way she carried herself, Ty Lee wondered how one person could be so graceful.

“Hey, isn’t that Zuko?” Ty Lee asked, a smirk growing on her face.

Mai whipped around, her eyes locking onto the boy at once. She grew red as an apple, Ty Lee and Azula giggled at the sight, the former struggling to keep laughing once she heard the princess’s laughter. Clearly, Ty Lee was no better than Mai.

She jostled her friend, though stammered as the brunette tried to speak. “Hey—hey, why don’t you make a move?”

Mai frowned. However, Azula stepped in and added fuel to the fire.

“Ty Lee’s right, Mai. You should advance while you can, before Zuzu gets matched off in an arranged marriage.”

Ty Lee looked away for another brief moment, unable to handle the pace of her beating heart. It was fast and rapid, pounding against her chest as if to break free. Ty Lee took in a small breath, turning back to her friends as she repressed her desire to run away and scream.

“You don’t know that,” Mai said, crossing her arms.

“Well, he is the crown prince, after all. Once he gets older, it would make sense to marry him off.”

Mai turned to Azula. “Well, does that mean you’re going to get married too?”

Azula smiled, laughter slipping past her lips. “Don’t be stupid, Mai, I don’t need to get married.”

“How do you know that?” Mai asked, her face still flushed red.

Azula laughed once more, finger pointed towards the flustered girl. “Oh please, the only reason for me to get married is to create alliances. But since the Fire Nation is about to dominate the entire world, then what sort of alliances would we need to make?”

“But Zuko,” Azula’s golden pupils looked to the side, paying close attention to her brother as she placed a finger on her chin, “He’s the crown prince and needs to make heirs. You need to get married to do that, at least, for the heirs to be legitimate.”

“Well, duh you need to get married to have kids” Mai said.

The princess chuckled. “You don’t need to get married to have children.”

Ty Lee quirked up a brow. “Really? Actually, how do kids even, you know, happen? Do they like, come out of bamboo stocks? Or large peaches?”

Azula rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms, scoffing at Ty Lee’s ignorance. “Not even close.”

Ty Lee pursed her lips, chest aching at Azula’s words. Once again, she knew it was ridiculous, stupid even for her to get hurt over such trivial insults. It was ordinary for the princess to act as such, and Ty Lee would normally brush off her remarks as nothing to be given a second thought. However, over the course of the past few days, she’s had little else to think about other than Azula. Ty Lee sighed, looking off to the flowers at her side. Perhaps, her feelings would fade away in time, nothing more than another one of her plentiful crushes. But even then, she wondered if she’ll ever feel such intensity for another person in her lifetime.

“Don’t be so upset,” Azula’s word cut through Ty Lee’s thoughts.

“I’ll make you two a deal. If you can successfully hide from me for fifteen minutes, I’ll tell you where children come from,” she said.

“Really?” Mai asked, her words laced in doubt.

Azula nodded, hand placed on her chest. “Of course, a princess always sticks to her promises.”

“Right…Anyway, let’s just get it over with.”

The young princess promptly turned around and covered her eyes. Quickly, she counted down from ten, giving Ty Lee and Mai little to no time to find and secure their hiding spots. Ty Lee immediately began running towards where Azula was facing, unconcerned to where her friend chose to hid herself. Thankfully, the princess hadn’t specified where they were allowed to hide, and so Ty Lee ran towards the garden’s walk way.

She ran past red pillars which held up its tiled roofs, her footsteps muddled by the sturdy stone under her feet, no matter how hard she sprinted. Ty Lee ran and ran, not exactly sure of where she would end up. The girl whipped her head up, thinking as her legs kept barreling her forward, nearly causing the girl to crash into a few of the walkway’s tall pillars. Much like the pillars, the wood which held up its roof too was made of strong, crimson colored wood, strings of rosy wooden patterns stretching across each pillar.

Eventually, Ty Lee ended up inside the royal palace. She ran still, running around the dizzying array of hallways, each covered in the same soft carpet, coated in the same bold colors of red and yellow, tall doors at each side of every corridor, it’s doorhandles made of intricately designed metal of lion heads. Before she knew it, Ty Lee had reached the monument which marked the academic section of the palace. Towering pillars held up a pagoda style roof which scratched the heavens, a dragon coiled around each pillar as they pointed towards a statue of Fire Lord Sozin, an inscription written under him Ty Lee couldn’t afford to stand still and read. The road forked off into three paths, Ty Lee opting to take the right most road as she figured that Azula would have a fondness for the library.

As the girl dashed down the stone path, the only thing indication that she was moving forward being the red ribbons tied unevenly around the stone fences, she witnessed a rather large pair of doors. Unlike the library, they had already been opened, no doubt swung as they flew all the way back to the other side of the maroon wall.

As the girl stepped inside, she saw a wide rectangular table at the very center of the room, scrolls, leather books and brushes littering its clear glass covering. Some were stacked on top of one another, ink splattering a few parts of the sleek wood. The table itself was fairly standard for the royal palace, made of no doubt expensive, regal wood painted with a dark finish. The chairs, however, Ty Lee took a liking to them. Not only were they tall, they were also comfortable. Surely, she figured that sitting was much better then kneeling, and wished that sitting too was granted the ‘proper’ status that kneeling did.

Of course, being the nature of the academic section of the palace, bookshelves covered both sides of the room, the wall facing Ty Lee’s front spared as it only had a painting of Fire Lord Sozin hanging on it. Gently, he swayed with the wind, Ty Lee nervous that the late Fire Lord might fall at any given moment. Next to the wise man were two tables, both of which were empty, save for a random brush and some scattered scrolls, some even unrolled to the ground as Ty Lee wondered if someone accidentally stepped on it.

As the brunette leaned back against her rather comfy chair, she wondered what sort of a person, or rather, persons were busy enough to turn the study area to such a mess. The girl placed a finger on her chin, wondering if a few generals gathered just a few hours earlier and forgot to clean up. Perhaps, in their super serious meeting, they were re-searching the best way to destroy the Earth Kingdom, or something along those lines. However, Ty Lee noted that such an idea wouldn’t exactly make sense, as such issues would be addressed in war meetings, not study areas. Another thing which didn’t add up was the mess. If generals or anyone that wasn’t apart of the royal family left the place in such untidy disorder, Ty Lee was sure that the Fire Lord would banish them as soon as he found out. And seeing as the doors were wide open, she figured that he already knew.

Ty Lee snapped her fingers as she was reminded of the gaping doors. “Darn, I forgot to close them.”

Jumping off her chair, she approached the large doors. However, Ty Lee was not intimidated by their size, for she placed her palm in the wood and pushed hard. Unfortunately for the girl, she lacked the physical strength required to close one door without using both hands, along with her body. One door closed, another still open. Ty Lee took in a breath, sighing as she walked towards the other. With much the same bone aching struggle, she finally closed both, sliding to the ground in exhaustion. Ty Lee leaned against them, sighing once more as she wondered why the royal palace needed to have such unnecessarily heavy gates acting as the entrance to almost every room.

“So annoying,” Ty Lee huffed.

Somehow, she got on her feet and sauntered back to the same chair, sitting on it as she leaned back.

“Ah man, this seat feels so nice, I should probably ask mom to buy us these.”

Ty Lee thought for a moment, of her mother, and if she’d even be able to talk to her that day and the next. Realistically, she knew it to be untrue, for her mother and father were busy people. They had fellow important people to meet and mingle with, leaving her with only her servants and sisters at home. Ty Lee looked off to her side, eyeing the tall stack of books beside her, wondering what sort of a madman would read six books in one sitting. And judging by the amount of paper scattered about the table, how many brushes and ink trays were stacked on top of one another, the person was supposedly studying them as well.

She leaned forward, grabbing the top most book from the pile. “Well, if I’m gonna be stuck here I might as well do something.”

Ty Lee opened the book and flipped to the first page. In it, there was a brief description of a nameless kingdom, seemingly under political turmoil from within, its citizens suffering as a result. So far, it was a typical ‘intellectual’ book Ty Lee would see scholars argue about. She flipped to the next page, introduction of the supposed protagonist. He had no name, other than his given title as king. The man looked to unite his kingdom, to reach his country’s true greatness, whatever that meant.

As the brunette quickly grew invested in the story, she realized that though the king had good intentions, he was not a good man. He would attack his enemies without a second thought, killing his prisoners and pillage any village that laid between him and whatever army he was fighting. He would make a point to deliver swift devastation to any one population or person which got in the way of ‘achieving greatness’, by any means necessary. To say the least, the man was a monster, for he didn’t even feel pity when beating his pregnant wife when she pleaded for him to end his bloody crusade. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be reading such horrid tales, but she couldn’t look away, riveted by the story’s graphic accounts and deep plot.

So invested was Ty Lee to the plot that she had neglected to use her ears. Entrenched in the story, Ty Lee failed to recognize the sound of wood dragging open. It was only until a hand landed on her shoulder did she realize she’d been caught, Azula staring at her with the same fierce glare she gave Mai. Ty Lee froze, unsure of what to do or say. She had yet to recover from the gruesome tale, and she was now facing the rather annoyed looking princess. She gulped, feeling to be under the microscope that was Azula’s stare. Nowhere near as exciting as she thought, rather, it was terrifying to be scrutinized by means of a single look. Her hands shivered as a chill traveled up her spine, Ty Lee pursing her lips as she did little else than look at Azula.

“What are you doing here?” the princess asked in a low voice.

Ty Lee stammered as she struggled to for words, dropping the book entirely.

“Oh, me? I was…um, uh, I was uh—reading, and stuff.”

Azula quirked up a brow. Slowly, her hand approached Ty Lee’s direction, the girl wincing as she questioned what Azula would do. However, the princess grabbed the book and dusted it off, neatly stacking it on its original pile.

“You should refrain from mishandling my books,” she said in a stern voice.

The brunette’s eyes widened. “Wait, that was your book?”

Azula scoffed. “I just said that.”

Ty Lee looked around. “Does that mean that all of these books belong to you?”

Azula nodded. “Indeed.”

“So, like, all of this stuff belongs to you too? The books, the scrolls, the brushes and the ink too?” Ty Lee motioned her hands to the objects listed, disbelief clear in her eyes.

Azula shrugged. “What of it? In fact, why do you care of what I do in my spare time?”

Ty Lee gulped. “Ah, you’re right, sorry about that. But I mean, it’s pretty cool that you study super hard in your spare time. Like, I can barely do my homework right.”

The princess chuckled, Ty Lee’s heart pounding fierce against her chest once more. Unlike last time, she could not look away, it would be rude. So instead, the brunette smiled along, repressing her urge to flee form the immediate vicinity and do breathing exercises.

“Hilarious as always, Ty Lee. This is not for school, I’m studying things far more advanced than what you or Mai will ever learn in your lifetime,” the princess said.

Ignoring the insult, Ty Lee placed a finger on her chin. “Wait, if it’s not for school, then why are you studying?”

“I’m not studying, I’m learning.”

“Yeah, learning what?”

Azula leaned in, Ty Lee taking in a breath as she did so. Faintly, she could smell Azula’s fragrant shampoo. Ty Lee resisted the urge to shake her head, noting how creepy it was for her to even think of something like that.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” the princess said.

Ty Lee turned away, unable to meet Azula’s eyes. She pursed her lips, heat creeping up her neck. She clung on to the table, her fingers clawing at its wood to take her mind of the situation. But she knew, better than anyone that it was no use. No matter how hard she tried, to ignore and run, there was no denying the physical proximity between her and Azula. The princess was so close, so much so Ty Lee could practically hear her breathing, their faces only just a slight finger away. She wasn’t sure why Azula was doing such a thing, whether it be for her own amusement at Ty Lee’s expense. But whatever it was, the brunette hoped for it to end soon.

“Why are you so red? Are you sick?” Azula asked.

Ty Lee turned to the princess. She opened her mouth, though shut it as soon as her eyes met with Azula’s. Once more, she struggled for words, her attention stuck onto the princess. But soon enough, Ty Lee was able to force herself to speak.

“What? Me? Sick? No way. Nah, I’m totally fine,” Ty Lee said.

Azula was silent for a brief second. “You’re a horrible liar.”

The brunette sighed. “Yeah, I am.”

The princess spent another second or so staring at Ty Lee, much to the latter’s painful displeasure, her pounding heart practically cracking her ribs open. However, soon enough, Azula sat next to the brunette. With her arms crossed, she closed her eyes.

“Mai’s gone home, that’s how long it took for me to find you. How annoying,” she said.

Ty Lee couldn’t help but smirk, proud of her accomplishment. “Does that mean you get to tell me where kids come from?”

“I suppose. It depends, would you like to know?”

The brunette nodded. “Yeah, tell me.”

“That book you were reading, have you gotten to the section where the King met his future bride?”

Ty Lee scratched the back of her head. “Yeah, but I kinda skipped that part. It was getting…weird.”

Azula sighed. Slowly, she opened her eyes. The princess reached for a brush and paper.

“When the King first met his bride to be, he was so overcome with lust that he couldn’t contain himself. And so, in the dead of night, he snuck into her room.” Azula dipped the brush in ink.

“His bride had no knowledge of this, so she was fast asleep,” Azula folded the paper.

Ty Lee had absolutely zero idea what the princess was talking about, for the concept of lust and whatever strange happening Azula was talking about was completely new to her. And so, the brunette willfully listened to what Azula had to say, her ears wide open.

“The King spread the woman’s legs,” Azula placed the brush’s inked edge against the paper, “And went inside of her.”

The princess pressed brush through the paper, tearing it as Ty Lee winced. Now dirtied and torn, Azula set them aside.

“And that is how children come to be.”

Ty Lee furrowed her brows.

“So, basically, you…need to…uh,” the brunette couldn’t finish her sentence, unsure of what to say.

“I know what you’re going to say. And no, you don’t need to be in a bed. In fact, you can do it most anywhere, with anyone. It doesn’t really matter who or when, or even how it happens. So long as it does, there’s always a possibility for a child to be conceived,” Azula said.

Ty Lee leaned back against her chair, confused on what to do with her newly gained knowledge. She certainly couldn’t tell her parents about it, nor anyone she knew. So perhaps, she would carry it along with her, keeping it to her lonesome. But then again, the question arises once more, what exactly was she to do? Ty Lee fiddled her thumbs, staring off into nothing as she thought about what Azula said.

“Um, did the, uh, did the bride know what was happening to her?” she asked.

“No, not at all,” Azula said.

The brunette furrowed her brows. For some reason, what Azula said left a sour taste in her mouth. “Uh, I don’t think that’s okay.”

“In the eyes of the King, anything is fair game so long as he’s the one pulling the strings.”

“Yeah, okay, that’s pretty much his whole character. But, like, I don’t think you should just do that to someone without them knowing, you know? It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Since when did you start having opinions on literature?”

“Uh, since I read that book, I guess.” Ty Lee played with her fingers as she turned to Azula.

Much to her surprise, Azula had some semblance of a smile on her face. Not her usual snide smirks, or patronizing grins. Rather, perhaps, it was one of genuine amusement, how she didn’t expect Ty Lee of all people to take up the moral nuances of her book. The princess kept her smile as she leaned forward, resting her head on one hand, her golden eyes fixed on the brunette.

“What do you think of the King?” she asked.

“Well,” Ty Lee searched for the right words, “He’s a pretty bad person, so I don’t really like him. I mean, if he really wanted to unite his kingdom and achieve greatness and stuff, why couldn’t he just, you know, do it peacefully?”

“Well, his country has been stuck in a civil war for over a century, any chances of alliance between the warring sides was a mere dream,” Azula said.

“Yeah, you’re right. But still, even if he had to attack all those armies and villages, couldn’t he at least spare the innocent people? I mean, they had nothing to do with the war or the political plot, but they were massacred like animals. It just, doesn’t seem fair to me, you know? He wanted to help his people, but they became worse off under his rule.”

The princess smirked. “And how’s that?”

Ty Lee was taken aback by Azula’s smirk. “Um, you know, the economy and stuff. Since he burned downed and killed all the people in the farming villages, they had no crops or really any kind of food. He also destroyed the ports to stop his enemies from trading, right? So, he also can’t get any help from the outside.”

“What would you do if you were in the King’s position?” Azula asked.

“What? Me?” Ty Lee pointed at herself.

“Yes, who else am I talking to?”

Ty Lee stayed silent. She thought long and hard of what she was to do had she been in the King’s shoes, if there was even anything she could do to bring peace and ‘greatness’ to her kingdom. She knew that for one, she’d have to stop the civil war. But as Azula said, an alliance between the warring sides was impossible. She could try and try, and her calls for negotiations would fall on deaf ears. So perhaps, rather than trying the peaceful way, she’d have to bring them down herself to keep order. But then again, that would make her no better than the men who instigated the civil war in the first place. She would be just like them, a person who thinks of what she’s doing to be great and good, operating by her own moral compass.

Ty lee shook her head. “I…I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

“How so?” Azula asked.

“If I try the peaceful way, nothing will happen and innocents will die. But if I try the war way, more people will still die. There’s no winning.”

“So, is that what you see as winning?”

“What?” Ty Lee asked.

Azula leaned against her chair. “You want to bring peace to the kingdom with as little lives lost as possible.”

“Well, yeah, obviously.”

“I see,” Azula crossed her arms. ‘Well, however you see it, the King won in the end.”

Ty Lee raised a brow. “What? How?”

Azula clasped her palms. “He sought to unite his kingdom no matter the cost, and so he did. Even after his kingdom fell apart and crumbled, he had by definition achieved his goal, and so won. I don’t deny that his actions are near sighted and foolish. However, the one admirable trait I found within the king was his drive, his resolve.

“He had made it his purpose to unite his kingdom, and by proxy cause it to achieve greatness. Throughout the entire story, he stopped at nothing to inch closer towards that very goal. Not even after his wife’s death did he bother to reconsider his plans, or even so much as think of possibly ending his crusade. No, rather, he had the resolve to see his plan through. And by the end of it all, it was he who sat on the throne, it was he who brought his country to unified glory, even if only for a brief moment.”

Ty Lee furrowed her brows. “So, you like the King? As like, a person?”

Azula chuckled. “As a person, I’d have him executed if he so much as grazed my presence. However, I can admire his traits, even if they belonged to an idiotic psychopath.”

Ty Lee had nothing else to say or add, and so the girl merely nodded. The two of them spent the rest of their evening talking, about the book, and of other things. Whatever they were, it was not important to Ty Lee, for she was far too busy savoring every moment she spent with Azula. For once, she was able to speak with the princess in a way that made her feel good. Yes, her chest ached at the very thought of her, heart pounding as if she were to be chased down by a hungry tiger monkey at any given moment. But through it all, Ty Lee was still happy. Quite honestly, that was all that mattered to the girl, and she wished the princess felt the same way as well—no matter how unlikely it was. A/N: Hey there :) If you've enjoyed this little chapter, consider reading the actual fanfic here Anyway, thx for reading, and have a nice day.

[fantastic-rambles]

Okay I somehow just managed to see your Sk8 character rankings so in hindsight, I’m super sorry for making you reexplain some of this stuff. I do get you’re second point about Shadow too. (And how ppl def show their true faces when they’re wearing masks) The lasers and stuff are shown as gimmicky toys so I agree that the damage they could do has been kinda ignored bc of what you said about Shadow being a comedic character. I do feel though that Adam shares a certain recklessness just in a different, more subtle way. While the only time we see him directly attack a skater at all is Cherry, I think you could argue that he is emotionally manipulating/terrorizing/coercing most of them. Being mean isn’t a crime obviously (everybody just brushes off Shadow’s threats so it’s not abnormal for the nature of S) and people are ultimately in charge of their own safety, choices, reactions, etc. But Adam has a pattern of egging on skaters in a way that to pushes them to the point of getting hurt. Like by holding onto Reki and keeping him physically safe, he terrified that boy without any remorse when he could have just let Reki skate freely. And I may be wrong on this part bc I’m not sure of the ep, but I think that in a flashback a skater actually did fall off a cliff while skating with Adam because he was pushing the skater to live up to Eve standards of being interesting and pushing safety limits. He’s like the kid who jumps off a bridge, but while actively telling you bridge jumping is the only way to be cool and worthy of him. It’s pretty much coercion. Cherry and Joe confronted Adam in the flashbacks because there was a pattern of him irresponsibly encouraging others to follow him in unsafe skating situations above their skill level. Adam’s ideas around skating make him dangerous in a different way from Shadow that scares characters rather than irritating them like with Shadow. Shadow has a jerky persona but mainly just wants to win and Adam is messing with people kind of just to see if they can take it or because he finds it fun. So basically, just pick your preference for mainly physical or mainly emotional trauma 😃/hj (I’d lowkey choose Adam because his dramatics are superior. I am so incredibly entertained whenever he does his lil heel toe tappy dance and the theme music turns up lmao)(And I know it’s just rich ppl shenanigans but skydiving into S with 1000% confidence he won’t miscalculate and *smack* the stage is kinda an iconic move)(Plus, imagining all the bizarre orders Tadashi has had to do for the sole goal of adding flair is so funny to me)

Thanks for letting me know about the potential other shady stuff. That does make me a bit more invested in that plot line. As much as I see Adam hate, I still forget details of what they set up bc it feels like ages ago lol.

And good luck with the WIPs + future stuff!! I don’t think we share any other fandoms but it’s still really nice that you have works you can enjoy spending time writing 😊

It’s fine, I have way too much Sk8 stuff on my blog (and only recently realized I could condense my long-ass ask responses), so some of it probably gets lost, lol.

Adam absolutely fucks with his opponents mentally. But the way I see it, it’s his way of testing other people’s love for skating (and again, trying to prove that he loves it more). If they really love it, then they won’t let him fuck them over (like Langa), and if they rediscover their love after his mindfuckery, then they can get back on the board again (like Reki). But if they get badly physically injured, then they can’t return no matter how they feel about it, so I believe Adam intentionally attempts to avoid that because skating is his safe space/where he can be free, and he doesn’t want to permanently take that away from anyone else if they want to be there. This is all just my theory though. And it doesn’t justify him terrorizing his opponents. xD

There was a skater who fell off a cliff against him, yeah, but I frankly don’t blame Adam for that. He had no direct influence on that incident (unlike the situations in which he’s grabbing his opponent, or even his Love Hugs, or if the accident had been caused by throwing fireworks/shining a laser in the guy’s eyes). The nature of anyone who is excellent in their field, especially in sports, is that people will admire them and attempt to emulate them, even if it’s beyond their ability. How many kids got hurt, maybe even seriously, trying to copy one of Tony Hawk’s tricks? Like you said, people are ultimately in charge of their own safety, choices, reactions, etc. Sure, Adam is closer to Cherry, Joe, and his prospective Eve than Tony Hawk is to his fans, so they have the opportunity to show off/try to impress him directly, but in the end, it’s their own decision. His prospective Eve believed that he could make the turn, so he tried, and he failed because he overestimated his ability. Was he influenced by Adam? Undoubtedly. But is Adam to blame for it? No more than Tony Hawk, in my book.

Yeah, no problem. I’m not “gung-ho” about Adam being in jail, I just think that’s the likely conclusion. I get your confusion, though, because the reasons that the haters want him in jail isn’t the reason he’d actually be going. The anime has been really vague about what he actually did to merit an investigation, but he definitely did something sketchy with another Diet member and committed perjury with regard to it.

Haha, thank you! Though “enjoy” is such a weird word to use to describe my fanfic writing. I’m in such a love-hate relationship with it. I have so many ideas, but when it comes to actually setting them down, it’s torture. xD

[knightsandjedis]

Let the pettiness commence

Let me be frank here when stating that if the quarantine weren’t happening I would probably remain the type of blogger to just re-blog posts without commenting or making my own posts. I enjoy looking at things more than commenting what can I say? I should say thanks and welcome to all the followers I’ve gained these past few years. You all are awesome and hope you all are staying safe during these troublesome times!

Alright, I’m going from civil to petty here and I should forewarn you if you’re a fan of Sarah J. Maas and her novels you’ll prefer to stay away then listen to my rant. Just being polite and giving a heads up.

Listen, there are periods where atrocious books become a major part of trending pop culture. Eventually, the hype dies down and people can take a deep inhale of relief. Around the 2010s time-period, the hype was focused on Twilight books. No matter where you went you felt suffocated by the hyper-fixation people had on this series. I’ll be honest I was an avid Twilight lover for a period until I wised up and had to recognize these books are horrendous and having a bad influence on teens during my era. Teens were getting Aids from drinking each other’s blood literally, they were drinking someone’s blood literally. While they’re still popular main society’s attention has begun to wane.

Pop culture has an new interest in Sarah J. Maas’s series: Throne of Glass (ToG) and A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR). At one time I was part of the fan-base obsessed with her books. During a bleak period where every book I purchased ending up a dud despite strong premises; Maas’s first books, in both series, were a breath of fresh air. They had characters you found hysterical and enjoyed the story-lines (even though the storytelling was meh at times) and you couldn’t help anticipating future novels to see where the novels took these characters. Both series died for me at the books: Queen of Shadows and A Court of Mist and Fury.

These novels were my wake-up call to Maas’ manipulative storytelling patterns and her inconsistent characterizations. She completely morphs characters depending on the scenario. A noble, decent character is turned heinous to either add unnecessary drama or to make readers turn their affections towards another character Maas’ manipulates into becoming “the hero”- typically a love interest. Usually, the first-or second in TOG- love interests are noble characters with a few flaws but nothing to make readers despise them other than the fact they’re not the prettiest men in the series. Literally, readers adore the male characters that are otherworldly attractive than an average looking male who is humane and unproblematic. Problematic much? The message I’m receiving is you should fall in love with a pretty face rather than explore the person’s entire being (this includes past history, personality, characterization, etc).

People will say I’m petty because I’m annoyed Chaol and Tamlin did not remain the love interests. This is absolutely untrue. I’m annoyed Maas had to pull absolute garbage reasoning out of her ass to make the characters despicable.

Let’s start with Throne of Glass. Celaena (I refuse to call her Aelin because the name visually repulses me, it sounds like something Maas stole out of better high fantasy novels) realizes she doesn’t find Dorian compatible and finds Chaol more of an equal. Chaol has flaws but his main one seems to be he’s good-looking but only average in comparison to Dorian and Rowan- whose sex on legs apparently. Maas realizes people will deny Rowan as a love interest (after he gets into a punching match with Celaena) so she has to make Celaena despise Chaol and interact towards him with hostility despite her recognition Chaol had his reasoning's for certain events in previous novels. Then, Maas takes Chaol’s character, who is known for being awkward around women and loyal to a fault, and make him have one night stands, cheating on women, and apparently the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong because Celaena can’t own up she made mistakes. Nehemia also died to give Celaena that necessary push to go against the king but it’s entirely Chaol’s fault for Nehemia’s death since Celaena can do no wrong. Horseshit I say.

Dorian is not a match, Chaol is the bane of Celaena’s existence so Rowan is her champion. Gag. I actually liked Rowan in Heir of Fire but I found it repulsive how Celaena keeps throwing herself at him in Queen of Shadows and growing dependent on him. When she put him in a bath and started throwing her favorite shampoos in I found it to be the most awkward scene. It’s a moment someone with limited knowledge of sexual encounters would conjure up. “Let me give my love interest a bubble bath!” I’ve read these type of bath scenes in other novels but they’re more maturely done. Although I have to remember these books are written for teens. Then, they become mates. A contradicting setup because he had a mate in the past. But, no one is compatible unless they’re mates in Maas’ world. So, mates are stuck together and seem to have a servant/master relationship in certain portions of the stories. Yuck, just yuck.

Readers if you have to state someone is someone else’s mate so you’re aware they’re a thing then it’s probably not a healthy relationship since you’re staying they own that person in Maas’ world-building.

I’m going to stop while I’m ahead when writing about Rowan and Caelena because they repulse me. Buuuttt not to the same extent as Feyre and Rhysand. I absolutely despise these characters with every fiber of my being. This is one of the most unhealthiest relationships I’ve ever read. Before I jump into why they’re disgusting let me just say I love how everybody hopped on the Feyre adoration bandwagon only when she got into a relationship with Rhysand. Nobody liked her until she got.into.a.relationship.with.Rhysand. Wow!

Listen, I understand why Feyre couldn’t stay with Tamlin after what he did (ahem what Maas decided he should do). However contradictory Tamlin’s characterization was the relationship had turned unhealthy. Yetttt, no one batted an eye with Rhysand was giving Feyre date rape drugs, forcing her to give him lap dances making her sick when she came out of the haze, and her being entirely repulsed when he made-out with her. Plus, I read Rhysand as a gay or bi character when he was introduced. I think he would be a better character as a gay male seeking a friendship than their disgusting love story. He goes from giving her roofies and at least seeming like a morally gray character to Feyre’s champion. Yeah, not buying the bullshit.

I pity Tamlin’s character truly- he was butchered beyond recognition. He goes from allowing Feyre to wander to her heart’s extent- as long as she wasn’t in dangerous areas- to locking her up because he thought it made sense. He’s suddenly possessive of her in the most disgusting ways (but Rhysand isn’t possessive in the slightest even when he calls Feyre his “mate!”). All these details were added to make Rhys’ character more heroic. Rhys goes from being a somewhat tolerable character in his actions to a fucking messiah. Rhysand goes from roofie expert to whisking Feyre away for her own safety. Rhysand assists Feyre under the mountain unlike Tamlin! (Because the queen didn’t give a shit about Rhysand and he wasn’t under her radar to the extent as Tamlin). He loves reading stories with Feyre unlike Tamlin. (Hmm, Tamlin offers to teach Feyre to read which she stubbornly refuses because she’s independent but Rhysand forces her to learn and he’s romantic!). And gasp, Tamlin ended up being the one who murdered Rhysand’s family hence their animosity (hahahaha how desperate are you Maas, I mean seriously how pathetic). Feyre, just like Caelena, was forced into this relationship with another abuser painted as a hero in storytelling. Rhysand and Rowan are constructed into heroes to make their disgusting actions justifiable in comparison to Chaol and Tamlin’s ruined characters.

I’m mostly focused on the main relationships since that’s all I keep hearing about. Changing subjects briefly, Maas’ does not acknowledge PoC or LGBTQIA unless readers are pointing out lack of representation. If they’re introduced you’re guaranteed either they die to promote the white lead’s agenda or forced to become a villain. What kind of statement does that make, Maas???? Also, her world-building is beyond odd. Random characters get introduced in weird scenarios that she has to force into the story-line just for sprucing purposes (Manon and the 12 and the 12 princesses from Earth or whatever). Really, what were the purposes of these characters???? And these kingdoms are written so bad. One realm has everyone wearing Renaissance era clothing while the next realm has people dressing hipster I mean wtf?

The reason for my rant is that I needed to get it out of my system. Lately, I cannot get away from these garbage novels. I’m on my Kindle the books are recommended. I’m on Goodreads her books are recommended and keep winning Book of the Year despite better novels being on the same list. I go on Facebook someone mentions deciding to give the series a spin under quarantine. I’m on tumblr (if you’re a fan then that’s fine, enjoy what you love) and artwork keeps popping up. I love it’s typically Feyre giving Rhysand lap-dances in the earlier part of the series where she’s desolate and sicken by these moments. People are quite forgetful when they want to ignore something in order to make Rhysand babe. I wish I knew how to block anything Sarah J Maas on here because I’m trying to escape. I want to read other authors’ novels and not have Maas’ smug face pop up on my recommendation lists. (Her books are on every list on Goodreads- every freaking list!) Hopefully, when quarantine ends the hype will quiet again but I’m getting ticked off here.

Just had to get it off my chest. I’ll probably go back to quietly ignoring the recommendations and artwork but I’m having a moment here.

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

I really don’t get why people keep saying Allura was SO awful or horrible to Keith after learning about his heritage. She just gave him the cold shoulder for an episode or two, and it’s not like they brought this up later in the show as a way for her to hold some other grudge against him. People are just blowing it up as something bigger than it actually was. And like many people have said, her liking or “suddenly” being nice to Lotor wasn’t bc oH he’s Altean (1/2)

Continued anon message: “There were several moments between their first close encounter and him revealing his heritage which prove that trust was developing before then, but I guess people just overlook those (2/2)”

Hi, anon! Thanks for the note! Yeah, haha, this topic of “is Allura racist?” is an interesting one because for me, it boils down to looking at the show’s design decisions and details. And those design decisions came from real human beings who aren’t any more objective than the rest of us. So as a content creator myself (who feels incredibly human and and whose stories and portrayals are also imperfect by virtue of their imperfect creator), I have to recognize that it’s impossible to create a totally woke, unproblematic creative product—and it’s also impossible to ensure that everyone around the world interprets everything in exactly the same way, no matter how well-intentioned the project.

That said, I do think a lot of fans are victims of how this show may have manipulated/gaslit them to feel, not just about Allura but also about other characters and events as well—and that there are benefits to analyzing what went wrong with VLD.

My hope is that, as content creators and fans, maybe we can learn from VLD’s narrative mistakes or even better understand how two fans can have totally opposing interpretations over the same creative work. In the case of VLD, as I’ve mentioned before, the show uses a screwy and imbalanced narrative lens when portraying victims. To add to that, the show design also consistently undermines details foundational to the show universe (such as using an unreliable narrator to express what the show actually accepts as objective fact or history). This is important, because the way in which something is told/shown ultimately manipulates audience emotion for or against something. This gets into how propaganda and subliminal messaging work at a technical level. And when the narrative lens is handled in a biased way that undermines other story elements, audience reaction/interpretation gets messy, no matter what the stated events/facts are in the story. We are attuned to pick up on cognitive dissonances (inconsistent patterns) as part of our human survival instinct.

I’m not convinced that VLD dev team wielded the Power of the Narrative Lens very well—if it had, season 2′s portrayal of the conflict with Keith and Allura would have looked different.

In an s2 with a more balanced narrative lens, we likely would have seen at least flashes of Allura’s memory, showing some s3 backstory of Allura’s fear upon realizing that previously faithful Galran allies were killing multiple civilizations upon an order from their own kind...and coming for Altea next. Or maybe there would have been something/someone else involving Allura’s traumatic experiences so that the audience could have an empathetic, emotionally connective moment with her. We would have, in equal parts, still seen Keith’s plight as the suffering saint trying to figure out what being half-Galra means. And we would have seen the other paladins trying to resolve the conflict and understand how to recalibrate together as a team and a family.

Instead, in provided canon, we see Hunk (of all people, why Hunk?) make racist microaggressions at Keith, further alienating Keith without any recourse. And for Allura, the visual lens shows her making a cold glare at Keith without further explanation. It’s a very alienating moment. In season 2, you feel that coldness from Allura because the show’s visual lens aligns you to Keith’s gaze for several agonizing seconds, and the narrative bias of the animation is to show Keith as the singular victim in this situation. It is a very targeted, lonely, and disquieting moment for Keith. The other paladins and their reactions to Allura and Keith even feed into this. It’s not until s3 that we get an emotional glimpse into the omnicide of an entire solar system—and even then, that history focuses more on the motives of the instigators rather than showing the brutality experienced by victims. By that point, we’ve blown way past the s2 issue, which creates another layer of cognitive dissonance: that the situation doesn’t feel totally...resolved, somehow, even though plot-wise it actually is.

So I think there are indicators that the dev team’s own biases and agendas informed, at times for the worse, the very lens through which we consume the VLD story. I don’t think the dev team was aware what tackling genocide while visually portraying Allura’s trauma as antagonistic and alienating would result in? And I think this oversight gets into why some fans feel a certain way about literally anything in this show, haha. So I feel like we’re all victims of a show with amazing potential and incredibly fascinating elements but just…poor execution. 

One other thing I have to give faith on when I have a disagreement with another show fan—it’s a 78-episode show. How often are people holistically watching and critically reviewing this show in order to catch every little detail? I’m pretty sure I can’t remember all the details either, even though I re-watched the show not that long ago. So there’s a whole other layer here, where fans have a separation from the source content itself. So take those emotional negative “impressions” people developed while watching s2 or any other moment where Allura has been less than the ideal woman (oof, fandom is so forgiving with men but so unforgiving with women), and then suddenly muddy those memories with 2 years of not re-watching the show holistically. Typically, the brain is better at storing negative reactions than positive ones. So if someone had a negative reaction to Allura’s actions with Keith in s2 or elsewhere, without an empathetic moment to balance it out, then that negativity is going to stick, and every detail to the contrary is going to fade out.

I know for me, I’ve really had to fight the memory problem because after over a year, for example, I was building up impressions about VLD history that actually were missing some important details from s3. And that was kind of a shock to me. So I do think selective memory plays a part in adding to a biased dissonance one might feel from the actual story.

Ultimately, this whole unnecessary fandom split on “is Allura racist?” is one reason why I feel that VLD—for all of its good things that I genuinely love so much—had a lot of troubling issues. Despite all the canonical good that Allura ends up doing and how she overcomes trauma to champion genuine peace for all, there’s subliminal messaging against her because of how the visual and narrative spins  or hides things. And that issue has nothing to do with the characters but everything to do with the development team and how the show was written/directed. And that, I think, informs ongoing fandom perceptions of Allura and creates just some really painful and unnecessary messes, to the point of creating an overall inaccurate take like “Allura is racist” when in fact, she’s just traumatized from very real and significant abuses and overcomes that, even.

It really makes me, as a writer, try to look at my own stories and attempt to understand “why” I portray certain things as I do while writing—and if that lens portrayal is really the best one for the effect/message I want. Because the way in which a story is conveyed can really play mind games with the audience, and that might not be the right effect for a story that isn’t another Inception or Crying of Lot 49, lol.

[raywritesthings]

What Have They Lost? 1/?

My Writing Fandom: Arrow, The Flash Characters: Barry Allen, Iris West, Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Connor Hawke, Cisco Ramon, Ted Grant Pairings: Barry Allen/Iris West, Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: "I can definitely tell you that there’s a way we’re going to bring [Laurel] back and she’s going to be alive and well. And Flashpoint might have a little bit to do with that." -Wendy Mericle AKA: The AU where that wasn't a blatant lie, and Flashpoint has bigger repercussions for Barry's friends and allies than he first realized. Notes: So, probably not wise to start yet another WIP without finishing the one I have going but...I got really excited about this idea and wanted to see what people thought. If this is continued (which I hope to do so), things may get a little confusing as certain characters will be going by different (more comic book accurate) names, but I'll do my best to make that clear when introducing them. There are characters referenced in this chapter who will have a bigger role going forward, and when that happens I will add their character tags. Similarly, if some characters haven't been mentioned at all yet, that doesn't mean they won't be in the story. Their character tags will be added later, too. Much thanks to @colorofmymindposts for beta-ing this chapter and helping me restructure some things. It's a much better beginning as a result. Title is pulled directly from a line in DC Rebirth by Geoff Johns while song titles and lyrics were pulled from both the Black Canary solo book and Green Arrow Rebirth, and I make no claim of owning any of them. I hope you all enjoy and let me know your initial impressions! *Also can be read on my AO3*

Barry felt that, all things considered, life was treating him fairly well lately.

Of course, he’d had to fix the mistake he’d made going back in time to save his mother, and even now there were consequences from that. The team hadn’t been happy to learn that truth, and he worried his and Cisco’s friendship would never again be quite what it was. There were things that had resulted from his meddling that he would always feel guilt over.

But not this. Not him and Iris. Despite an awkward first attempt at a date and the second getting interrupted as well, they were falling into a better pattern now as a couple.

She found him in his lab one late morning while Julian was out at a crime scene, so they had the space to themselves for a bit. Iris wrapped her arms around his middle from behind and placed her chin on his shoulder, though he doubted it was to see the spectrometer he was working with.

“Any plans for tonight?”

Barry shook his head. “Nothing specific. You know, just,” he waved a hand to indicate general Flash stuff, which Iris understood with no trouble.

“Think you could take a break for one night?”

Barry raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because I got concert tickets and I want you to go with me.”

A concert? That wasn’t usually his scene. “How’d you get them?”

“Daria in Arts and Entertainment gets sent them sometimes and she can’t make tonight work, so she offered them to me.”

Daria in Arts and Entertainment? That probably meant this was some kind of pop thing, didn’t it? Barry’s face scrunched up.

“I don’t know, Iris…”

“Bear, come on.” She squeezed him tight for a moment before letting go and taking a couple steps back. “It’s Birds of Prey!”

“Am I supposed to know them?”

“They’ve only been my favorite band since college, so I would hope so,” she remarked, and Barry turned around with a frown. He could have sworn Iris always said she liked the pop star Cassidy best. “They do some slow stuff, too. I know how you like your jazz,” Iris added  with an indulgent roll of the eyes. “So are you in or out?”

He knew Iris still wanted to do some normal couple stuff as well as more extravagant dates. And if she was happy, Barry was sure he could put up with some music that might not be his taste.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m in. It’ll be fun.”

“Great.” Iris leaned in and pecked him on the lips. “Gotta head back to work, but I will see you later for our date. I’ll text you the details.”

“Okay.” Barry watched her go, his smile falling off his face as she disappeared down the stairs. If this was Iris’ favorite band, he was going to have to do some research.

He went to his computer and searched the name Birds of Prey, only finding articles about a band and their lead singer, a woman only known as Dinah.

“Triumphant return to Central City after particle accelerator accident,” he read aloud to himself from the bit of preview text from one article. What did that mean? And why did the name Dinah sound oddly familiar to him?

A knock on his lab door called his attention, and he was busy the rest of the afternoon with casework, even with Julian’s added assistance. Rather than resume his internet search after his shift ended, Barry decided to pursue a different avenue of inquiry.

Cisco was present when he rushed into STAR Labs. His friend barely looked up from the computer monitor he’d been studying.

“Cisco, hey, what do you know about Birds of Prey?”

That question caught the engineer’s attention. “Uh, you mean one of the greatest musical groups of our time?”

“Yeah. Sure.” How did everybody already know this band besides him?

“They’re stopping here on their comeback tour. I think it’s tonight, isn’t it? I missed the online bid for tickets.”

“Iris got two from her coworker, so we’re going tonight,” Barry revealed.

Cisco groaned. “Lucky. I only saw Dinah live once, back when she was doing open mic nights around colleges, you know?” Cisco’s gaze got a faraway look. “I had a poster of her on my wall all through grad school. I’d give anything for a picture with her.”

“Well, I can’t promise that, but I can try and get you a picture of just her.” Barry checked his phone. “I’ve got to meet Iris at the house.”

“Yeah, have a good night.”

“You, too.” It hadn’t been perfect, but Cisco had at least been willing to open up to him about some topic, even if it was one that made little sense to Barry.

He arrived home and changed quickly into clothes better suited for a concert. Iris already had the keys to the car, so she drove them over rather than him running them. They parked on the street near the venue and joined a fast-growing line to get in.

“So, everybody keeps calling this the comeback tour,” Barry began. “What’re they coming back from?”

“You really didn’t hear?” When he shook his head, Iris continued, “They were performing on stage the night of the particle accelerator explosion.”

“And there was an accident,” he said, repeating what he had read before.

“Yeah, the sound equipment and everything, you know? I mean, the band manager got them all off the stage before anyone got too hurt, but there were all kinds of rumors about Dinah’s voice being damaged or the trauma being too much to let her go back on stage.”

“Wow,” was all Barry could come up with. 

“Yeah. But, she got back in the game. This is their last stop on the tour, at least for now. People are wondering if they might go international next.”

They had passed through the doors and now were too busy looking for their seats to talk. They weren’t right in the front row, but Arts and Entertainment writers were clearly given a good spot, probably in hopes the review would be better.

The lights dimmed, and a voice came over the systems. “Central City, here tonight is the band that needs no introduction. This is...Birds of Prey!”

The obligatory fog machine obscured things as the musicians all got into place. He counted two redheads and a woman with hair so dark it almost bordered on black. Nothing about them seemed to stand out in his memory.

But he didn’t need the large screens on either side to tell who the woman was that strode confidently downstage to the mic in the center. Even if it should have been impossible.

“Laurel?”

The crowd was too loud around them, and Iris was busy with cheering and didn’t hear him or see his distress.

How could it be possible? He still remembered standing in front of Laurel’s grave, watching as Oliver tried to hold back the anguish that had been in the wet sheen of his eyes and the deep lines of his face. He didn’t think he could ever forget that look. It hadn’t just been Barry’s team who’d loved her.

And yet she was standing above him on a stage, so alive.

“Hello, Central City! It is good to be back.” Laurel paused to let the cheers subside. “I wanted to make sure we stopped here on tour. Had a bit of a fight for it. You can ask Ted.”

Iris leaned over to tell him, “Ted’s the band manager. He’s practically a father to her.”

“He is?” Who was Ted? Where was Captain Lance?

Iris nodded but gave him a second look. “You okay?”

He felt incredibly faint, actually, but there was no time to explain anything to Iris. There were people all around them and Laurel was speaking again.

“But Ted agreed, because we don’t walk away from things. Right, Central City?”

Laurel paused again for cheers. Someone out in the crowd shouted a, “We love you!”

“I love you, too!” She replied with a beautiful smile. “No matter how many times we get knocked down, we get back up. So let’s get up and get things started!”

She motioned back to the band, and the dark brunette hit her drumsticks together four times before the rest of the music started up. People were already on their feet, and Barry stood as well to see better. Now that he was over the shock he started taking more of her appearance in. There was still her blonde hair cascading down her back, but that was about where the similarities ended in how this Laurel styled herself. She had on a blue tank top, ripped up jean shorts, and fishnet leggings on under those. Fishnets!

Was it Siren? Was this all just some trick? And yet even as he thought that it made little sense. Iris’ favorite band since college, Cisco’s poster in grad school...somehow, Laurel Lance had been a member of this band for years. 

But she’d been a hero. They all knew that. Or they had.

The song they were performing now seemed to be called Fish Out of Water, judging by the chorus. Barry could relate to that feeling. Then it hit him that Laurel actually had a really good voice. He’d never known that about her, whether it had even been true before...all this.

Because it was dawning on him what this was. Just like the changes that had occurred to his friends’ loved ones because of his meddling, the only explanation for Laurel not only being alive but drastically different than he remembered was the timeline being altered. But how could he have missed this?

If this much was different, what else had changed in Star City? He’d spoken to Felicity briefly since returning to this timeline and realized John now had twins instead of a daughter, but what about Oliver? Were he and the others okay?

“I’m gonna slow things down a bit,” Laurel was saying. “Even if I know you guys like things fast around here.”

Iris nudged him in the side with a big grin. It faded as he looked at her, though. “Seriously, Bear, you okay?”

“It can wait.” Now wasn’t the time or place to get into it. He wasn’t even sure how to explain to Iris that a woman she had never met but admired was now still a woman she had never met but admired just in a different way.

“If ya broke the wings of a blackbird, baby...it’s a joke to think she’ll look backward, baby,” Laurel sang. She looked...sad, somehow. Not in an obvious way. The confidence was still there, but it was like something was missing. And Barry thought he knew what it was.

His mind raced as the band closed out with another louder number to get people cheering right at the end.

“How do you feel about pretending to be from Arts and Entertainment?” He asked at more of a shout in Iris’ ear to be heard.

She raised both eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

Barry ran instead, back to her office at Central City Picture News to grab a camera and a couple of press passes. When he reappeared at her side, she blinked in surprise.

“Barry—”

“It’s kind of important that we talk to her. I’ll explain on the way home.”

Iris looked unsure, but she nodded, trusting him. Barry felt a boost of confidence at that; the rest of his teammates weren’t that willing to trust in his ability these days.

They made their way backstage with the passes and waited as Laurel and the others exited the stage. Barry felt a little stunned to watch her approach this close despite seeing her up on the stage. She was real and alive and a part of him wanted to rush forward and hug her — but that would probably get them kicked out.

There were a few lucky fans with special passes there, too, and he watched as the woman and sometimes-teammate he’d known signed autographs and took selfies with them. He snapped a couple of pictures with the camera he’d borrowed for appearance’s sake.

“Great show tonight, Dinah,” Iris called out to get her attention. She held out her hand when the other woman approached. “I’m Iris West with Central City Picture News. Huge fan, really.”

“Thanks for coming out,” said Laurel, her eyes only briefly passing over Barry, and it was so strange not seeing even a hint of recognition there. Had they never met in this timeline? What did this mean about whether she knew the others?

“So what’s next for the band?” He asked. “International, somewhere else in the states? Star City, maybe? It’s our, uh, sister city,” Barry added when both Laurel and Iris gave him odd looks.

“Funny you should say that. We’ll be taking some time off in Star, yeah. Ted and me, anyway. The other girls are stopping home in Gotham, but Ted’s got a place there.” She nodded back towards an older man with flecks of gray in his hair and a few lines in a deeply tanned face.

“Great,” said Barry.

“Your new song, Blackbird. It’s really good, and the lyrics, uh, what’s the story behind that?” Iris asked. Barry knew he’d put her on the spot and that this style of interview wasn’t exactly her specialty. He thought she was doing a great job, though.

Laurel shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of false starts in life. A lot of things I’ve had to walk away from. You learn to live with it.” She glanced over at Ted again who made some kind of motion. “Listen, there’s a girl scheduled to meet me in the green room, so if we could wrap this up?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I’ll message your people if I think of anything else to ask,” Iris said quickly. “Thanks so much for your time.”

“Yeah, thanks Lau— uh, Dinah,” Barry remembered at the last second. Her eyes jumped to his with a sharp look.

“Yeah. You too.” Laurel said quietly. She turned and walked away, glancing back at them over her shoulder once.

“So what was that actually about?” Iris asked in his ear. Barry gave a start and looked away from the hallway Laurel had disappeared down. They went through a side exit and started the walk back to the car.

“I know her. Or knew her. Um, before I changed the timeline.”

Iris’ eyes widened. “Really? How?”

“She wasn’t a singer. She was the Black Canary. A hero, part of Oliver’s team. She died last spring—” Iris stopped in her tracks, expression one of alarm. Barry reached for her hand to keep her moving down the sidewalk. “—or she did in that timeline. I don’t know how this happened.”

Iris was quiet for a few moments, processing the information. “Well, at least she’s here in this timeline?”

“Yeah, but,” Barry began. He shrugged. “It’s so different. She doesn’t even go by the same name!”

He remembered seeing Dinah on the gravestone, only then realizing they’d all been calling her by her middle name the whole time. What made a person decide to change names? How far back did this divergence from the timeline go?

Iris was frowning, discomfort showing on her features. She had defended his actions in changing things to the rest of the team, but was this a step too far? What did she think of him now? “Well, Bear, I think you’re just going to have to leave this be,” she said eventually. “It’s too late to change things.”

“I know. I just — I need to check on the others in Star, okay? Just so I know what’s been going on if we ever have to team up sometime.”

“Okay.” Iris let him go with a kiss, and then Barry was off running again, first to get his suit and then to Star City.

What was Team Arrow like without a Black Canary? What was Oliver like? He didn’t know too much about the other man’s relationship with Laurel, but they’d obviously been close judging by how affected he’d been at the funeral. What would Barry be like without one of his teammates? He couldn’t even imagine it.

He entered the cave and stopped, calling out to make sure the space wasn’t as empty as it appeared. “Hey, Ollie, you in? Really need to talk to — woah!”

Barry didn’t quite dodge out of the way of two arrows connected by a wire that shot out and pinned him to the wall behind him.

A young man, teenager really, with blonde hair and dark skin emerged from behind a support beam. He carried a bow and quiver of arrows and was grinning as he approached. “Gotta watch your surroundings better, Flash.”

“Connor,” said a familiar voice, the tone only slightly warning.

“I’m only messing, dad,” said the teenager to Oliver as the older man approached. Barry felt his mouth drop open. Since when did Oliver have a second son?

Oliver himself seemed different, somehow, in ways that were hard to define. The stubble he usually had could more accurately be called a goatee, and there were lines in his face that Barry could have sworn hadn’t been there. But he didn’t look as abjectly miserable as the last time Barry had seen him.

“What’s going on, Barry?”

He decided to just cut to the chase. “What do you know about Dinah Laurel Lance?”

Oliver’s face scrunched up. He frowned, though it was more in confusion than anything else. Then the worst possible answer left his lips.

“Who?”

[freakypumpkin]

The Dilemma for Captive Prince

It’s no secret, that there are a lot of people, who stopped the Captive Prince trilogy after the first book and that’s okay. The themes aren’t for everybody, the series in general has very mature themes and content and is not for everybody. The thing I want to touch on in this post is more about the reasoning of dropping the series after the first book. 

Just to be clear, if you stopped the book or refuse to read them, because you don’t care about the characters (mostly Damen, because it’s his POV) or find the story boring or the things happening triggering, I have no issue with that. Nobody should be forced to read something that make them uncomfortable, bores them or downright is a threat to their mental health.

Disclaimer: There will be spoilers for the third book, because I feel like I need to put them in here to make the point because who are against the series won’t trust my word on ‘Oh, you will understand, when you get to the twist’ and because those against it might not read it at all anyway.

Again and again it comes up, that people are shocked at how the first book plays out, when they went in expecting a romance story like it’s (unfortunately) often advertised. (It’s not a romance, it has a romantic subplot.) And as I got back into watching booktube videos, I kept hearing things like:

“I don’t see, how Laurent could ever be redeemed.“ “I don’t see how they’re supposed to end up as this epic power couple.“ (I would also argue, that they don’t really end up as the power couple, but you can see at the end of book three, the potential of them becoming one)

Upon hearing these things, my first thought was always ‘Well, then read it and find out?’ because it’s one of the main motivators for me to keep reading certain books. (I mostly finished TMI to see how the relationship of Magnus and Alec would end and to this day I haven’t read the scenes of Clary being kidnapped by Sebastian and Jace because that was a storyline I didn’t care about.) But I also kept thinking about these comments about Captive Prince and that part of ‘I don’t see how this could be resolved’ as if they thought about every possible way of how this story could go and didn’t see a good conclusion at the end of any of these roads. 

The Pattern of Romance It made me think about how romance is usually written and noticed, that we usually have the pattern of:

1. book: Get together 2. book: Crisis happens 3. book: Making up/final establishment as a couple

In most books where the romance aspect plays a more prominent role the couple gets together at the end of the first book because their romance developing is a specific arc in the book. Not for Captive Prince. There it is more like:

1. book: We can help each other 2. book: Physical Attraction noted and acted on it + mutual respect 3. book: Feelings are happening all over the place (sort of, it’s been a while since I read the books)

The thing is, in terms of the usual romance plot, you get the first arc of the typical romance over the course of three books (which is why I mentioned, it’s just a subplot). But with most books, we tend to be conditioned, that romance happens either fast or becomes quickly visible, with insta-love being all over the place these days.

So, this is the first one of my theories, with which you can disagree if you want and chalk it up to me not having read that many mainstream books lately.

Laurent’s Redemption? People, who read the first book despised Laurent and are often up in arms about the abuse that happens between the couple-to-be and yes, I agree, that almost flogging Damen to death is not the best first date idea. (It has the added horror to people, that Damen is a POC and Laurent’s white, but that’s a story for another day, told by somebody else.) I was skeptical going into the first book. I’ve seen people hating it with a passion and others loving it like their first born child. So, I was curious to see how this would go. It was probably good for me, that I was spoiled for the stuff, that would happen and the flogging specifically, so I knew it was coming, which made me more curious on how this would play out.  Pacat had pretty much written herself into a corner after the flogging scene, I think. How would she get out of that and I do think, it takes more than a full book to get out of that Dead End, when at the beginning of the third book it is revealed, that Laurent knew who Damen was from the start - the person, who killed Laurent’s older brother. 

That and the point, where we find out, that his uncle, the Regent, also sexually abused Laurent after Auguste’s death and took advantage of him being emotionally vulnerable, that puts the whole first book into a new perspective.  Yes, Laurent is cruel in the beginning, but he is also in a situation where he is confronted daily with his abuser who holds the throne, and there’s nobody to talk to. And in this situation he is gifted a slave, who he knows is the killer of his brother, who he is stopped from actually killing in revenge by the guy who sexually abused him. I would say, looking back it’s fucked up situation to be in and to survive. 

Therefore I would also say, Laurent doesn’t get redeemed, he was cruel af and until the end, he doesn’t exactly become the king of Fluff, but that would have been a realistic character development. The flogging especially is something, that is very present between them and nothing that is imo treated as ‘ancient history, we all make mistakes’, Just like Damen carries the guilt of killing Auguste, despite it having happened during a war, with them on opposing sides. Laurent doesn’t get redeemed, he gets explained. His actions aren’t excused, but made understandable.

Why the difficulty with understanding him?  Looking at the character in broad strokes, Laurent is the stereotype of the cruel prince: royal by birth, scheming, living in luxury, cruel for fun with a sort of lethal beauty Though there are details added in the books, that shape Laurent’s character beyond the aforementioned stereotype are: - He’s not cruel for fun in general, he is cruel towards Damen because he knows who he is (Damen remarks later, that Laurent would have let him go had he been any other slave) - He lives in luxury, but doesn’t cover himself in jewelry, he covers himself in fabric as a defense against what has been done to him by the Regent - He’s royal by birth, but his throne is held hostage by his uncle, who first sexually abused him and now wants him dead - he is scheming and good at it (something, that I found instantly fascinating), but this as well is a defense developed as a measure of survival against the threat of his uncle - he’s really pretty ... no twist there. (Only, that he knows to use his looks if has to.)

Most of these details are not that prominent in the public display of the character because they are connected to spoilers of the plot.

Now, we have the more prominent stereotype of the ‘Bad Boy with the terrible childhood/past’ who just gets away with awful stuff because of his past. Readers are used to a character being awful at first taking that road of having some kind of tragic backstory thrown at the reader and that excuses their actions. So, I think, people often think, that is the only way it could go and are put off by that. But that’s not the case. Laurent’s childhood/past is pretty much hell, but it’s not used as excuse. (He himself doesn’t even bring up the sexual abuse, it’s his uncle basking in torturing Damen with that reveal.) It’s used to put his actions into perspective and as a reason for Laurent’s deep hatred for the Regent.

So, yeah, Laurent is an onion, that was peeled against his will once and now bites when people try to do it again. And the additional reveal of him knowing who Damen really is almost gives you whiplash after reading the first two books (especially the second one) of “Wait, WHAT?” because you realize Laurent grew to trust and respect Damen for his skills and personality despite knowing he killed his brother, he acknowledges that skill, too. (Honestly i found that refreshing after all those blind revenge plots of ‘I will avenge my [add family member here] and if it’s the last thing I do’.)

The Dilemma of POV Damen is the only POV telling the story, therefore the abuse he suffers is more visible and the reader actively suffers with him. It’s also shown, while Laurent’s abuse is told (in a much shorter way, too). That way, the abuse Damen suffers is more prominent, easily explained by the basics of writing.  Not to mention, that people, who stopped after the first book don’t even know about Laurent’s story.

It’s a case of ‘visible abuse vs. invisible abuse’, which is reflected in the writing. And if you want to be really provokative, you could say, the people’s reaction to Laurent and Damen is a mirror of society’s reaction to visible and invisible abuse and to the case of ‘not looking like a victim’ ...  There’s also the possible case to see Laurent as ‘the risk of an abuse victim turning into an abuser’ ... (there are some topics, that could be turned into a paper)

Conclusion? Pacat took a great risk with Laurent in the first book and to advertise it as love story didn’t do it any favors, but what she ended up achieving was quite impressive.  So, going back to the beginning of “I don’t see how this supposed to work itself out positively.” ... you’re not supposed to see that after the first book, it’s the point of the series to create a tense starting point and make you wonder how it’s supposed to be concluded. 

The problem stands with people, who have read the first book, judging the whole series as bad and terrible and judging the people who like the whole series and going ‘I don’t get how people can like this series’. 

When going into books, it can be important to realize, that our judgement of that book is influenced by expectations created by other books, the summary on the back and character types we met before or patterns we’ve seen before and when we get tidpits of these patterns in new books, we tend to put the rest of the pattern in by ourselves and see it as fullfilling the pattern despite it not being the case.  This why I tend to go for spoilers to either save myself the trouble of going down a path I don’t want to go or with at least wait a bit to see if the storyline I’m following is really as predictable as I think it will be (just skimming the text). If it ends up being predictable, I kick it, if not, I’m surprised positively and eventually go back to reread the part I skimmed. 

It’s more helpful to go “Will it go down this road?” instead of “It’s going down that road!”.

So, when CP doesn’t make it apparent how Damen and Laurent end up together after the first book, and you don’t like it, it’s not the fault of the book, it’s more your problem of expecting it to do so - is what I’m trying to say here.   

The trilogy is actually also not a trilogy like we are most used to seeing them, with each of the books having a concluded story arc, it’s more a case of one story being broken into three acts/books. And again, the expectation to get a trilogy like people expect based on how most are structured is not the fault of the books.

Are they flawless? No. But seeing people shit on CP as ‘trash’ and ‘problematic’ and then go and praise Cassandra Clare for her books, just annoys me and makes me think, that there are way more urgent issues of more subtle problematic writing, that we should worry about. Not to mention, that CC’s stuff is YA - aimed at teenagers - and CP is adult fiction.

And with this I conclude my two cents concerning people’s problems with CP.

[chrismerle]

OKAY NOW IT’S DONE time for my thoughts, the least spoiler-y part of all my rambling

gameplay: A +. seriously, there are not a lot of games where I’ll contemplate going back once the story is done solely because they’re fun to play. for this one? I will probably wind up playing it more tomorrow just to keep filling in the map and doing side quests. combat is smooth and easy to pull off even when it requires multiple buttons. web-swinging is possibly the best game mechanic I’ve ever experienced. like, I don’t like flight or gliding in games, but I very willingly spent this whole damn game playing The Floor Is Lava until putting my boots on the ground was mandatory. it was good enough that I only used fast travel twice, and one of those times was required by the game tutorial (the other time was because Spidey on the subway is funny as hell). granted, I do still have my complaints. maybe I was just doing it wrong (I was probably doing it wrong), but dodging felt a bit wonky. for a lot of higher tier baddies and bosses, they attacked in volleys, so if you didn’t hammer on the dodge button until your thumb fell off then you were going to take two or three hits or more even if you dodged the initial strike. at higher difficulties, Spidey’s really only got three or four hits in him. also landing could be a bit of an ordeal. I can’t count the amount of times I vaulted straight over a roof I was supposed to land on, back and forth, several times. luckily, you were incapable of accidentally launching yourself to your death, as even jumping off of skyscrapers just resulted in Spidey doing a tuck-and-roll and bouncing to his feet on the ground below. and I wasn’t a huge fan of the stealth mechanics. don’t get me wrong, I loved MJ and Miles, but I’m generally more of a fan of very fast-paced gameplay, and the stealth sections were very slow.

boss fights: on the whole I liked them, but they weren’t perfect. most of them were some variation of ‘do this, kick in face, dodge, repeat half a dozen times, you win.’ it got a little old. especially since, for most of them, the pattern was ‘run/swing/dodge in circles, web up enemy, kick them in the face, retreat, repeat.’ still, it’s a minor complaint. Shocker escaped the pattern. Electro and Vulture were both in an area conducive to swinging the whole time, which made it more exciting. and while Scorpion followed the pattern, Rhino definitely did not, and having to keep an eye on both of them and their methods of defeat kept it interesting. unfortunately, while fighting Mister Negative on the train was entertaining, his later fight felt a bit generic. and the first stage of Doc Ock’s fight was yet another round of ‘run in circles, web, kick, retreat,’ with an added periodic AoE attack that was super annoying and the loss of the ability to customize how you fight. the second stage makes up for it, though, but I’m always a sucker for an overly emotional slug-fest.

interface: not much to say here. it looks clean. it’s pretty well organized. there’s a lot of variation in how you can do things. it’s pretty intuitive, when it comes to upgrading. the map is functional. it’s nothing groundbreaking, but it does its job well and won’t make you rip your hair out.

visuals: the animation was beautiful. fluid. natural. filled with detail and care. the settings were great. for the most part, the people looked great but, and I’m still not letting this go, for whatever reason damn near every character model had eyes too big for their faces. I was legitimately glad that most of the cast wore masks because the ET eyes were genuinely creepy. like, if it had been a stylistic choice, sure, but eyes aside the people were basically photo-realistic. and anytime a photograph showed up, it looked super uncanny. but really, those are basically my only gripes about the visuals. as an added bonus, whatever suit you wear shows wear-and-tear when Spidey gets the shit kicked out of him, which is a nice, unexpected touch.

story/writing: I am so glad this was not another Spidey origin. I have seen too much of the Spidey origin. you have seen too much of the Spidey origin. we have all seen too much of the Spidey origin. I’m not even giving the MCU a pass here: we didn’t see Holland Peter get bit, but he was in every other way a stumbling newbie. so the fact that he’s already been Spidey for 8 years at the start of the game? I am all for it. and I’m glad it was its own thing. it didn’t try to ape the comics. it’s attempting to be its own universe, rather than trying to retell the movies or 616, and it’s compelling as hell to boot in the creative liberties its taken. the dialogue is spot on. this has become my quintessential Peter Parker. you spend the vast majority of the game with him, and you will love him by the end. he’s an endearing wise-ass with a guilt complex the size of Manhattan, and if you are prone to feelings of ‘I like to watch my faves suffer’ or if you enjoy feeling like you want to wrap a character in a blanket, then Pete has got you covered. and while the side villains are a bit neglected, the main villains are definitely not. you know they’re doing bad things, but you can see the twisted logic in it. you can follow the paths their thoughts took to get them where they are, and you can realize that in a twisted way, it all makes sense. and it’s a little chilling. and there were just...so many small moments that made it great. Spidey teaching Miles how to throw a punch, Pete damn near crying when Aunt May gives him money after he gets evicted, the way everyone staying at the homeless shelter is so familiar with Pete so you know he volunteers there a lot, the way civilians react when Spidey’s close by. the world feels just lived in enough to make you care. even the characters who don’t have much to them are still enjoyable. a lot of the villains that show up don’t have much to them. I’ll be upfront about that. they show up. they snark. they fight. they get their asses kicked. but the ways they interact with each other and the details you find in the background still manage to make them compelling. I think it all works well together whether you’re new to the Spidey mythos or not. if this is your first exposure to Spidey, then parts of it may genuinely shock you, and I want you to have that experience. if you already have some idea of the Spidey story, then you get this pit in your stomach as you realize certain things that are going to happen later and then hope to god they don’t. as an admitted nerd, I was very much in camp ‘oh please no.’ but still, it managed to pleasantly surprise me. the writers knew what they were doing. there were aspects I was geared up to complain about--the argument Pete and MJ have for a good portion of the middle of the story, foremost among them--because in the hands of any hack, they would be unbearable Hallmark-esque cliches, and...they weren’t. instead of having some ungodly Third Act Misunderstanding, things I ordinarily would have taken issue with got addressed in ways that made sense. the wind got taken out of my sails on a few occasions, and I was happy for it to happen. my only real gripe is small, and it’s that we don’t really know what happened to Mister Negative. like, did he die? did he get sent back to prison? did they just leave him on the floor? what happened there?

voice acting: someone give Yuri Lowenthal a medal, he was fucking spectacular you see what i did there? eh? eh? but really, every voice was great. Pete was the joking wise-ass who cares too much for his own good that we all love. Otto was the right amount of long-sufferingly paternal. May was an authority figure you wanted to listen to while simultaneously wanting to shake her. Miles was an endearing puppy. MJ was...also kind of a puppy, but a more excited one. JJJ was JJJ. no one’s performance was grating. no one was phoning it in.

aaaand...yeah. I think that covers all of it. I had a good time. maybe I’ll even buy the DLC.

[grifalinas]

So I see a lot of discussions where people are trying to find out if a creative idea they have is Acceptable(tm) and Not Problematic(tm). And while I certainly advocate talking to people (who have welcomed the discussion) about how to better represent people like them in fiction, there comes a point where the questions are less “Can you help me understand why portraying black characters as more aggressive than white characters is problematic?” and more “Is this okay? What about this? Here’s a vaguely-described scenario with the bare minimum of details, please give this the stamp of approval”... etc. Which is. Frustrating.

Instead of relying on Tumblr culture to decide for you the difference in Good(tm) and Bad(tm) tropes/headcanon/writing choices/whatever, learn to think for yourself. You want to make sure your writing choices aren’t problematic? Pay attention to the following things.

(Please note that all of these require you to be honest with yourself. It doesn’t work if you hem and hedge and make excuses.)

Motive.

Why are you making that character ace? Why are you making that character evil? Why did you slate that character for death? Why did you put those two characters together? How did you land on that narrative for that character?

Basically, what is driving you to make the choices you are making?

“Did I make this character of color ace in an attempt to desexualize people of color and pave the way for a white couple to get together?” I don’t know, did you? “Did I kill that female character in order to push the male character’s story by causing him emotional pain?” I don’t know, did you? “Did I portray that trans man as curvy because I have a fetishistic view of trans men?” I don’t know, did you? None of these scenarios- a black ace character, a dead female character, or a reluctantly curvy trans man- are instantly bad just in their concept. Can they all be executed in bad ways? Absolutely! Do they often come from bad places? You betcha! Are you approaching them badly and from a bad place? I can’t answer that. Only you can.

And yeah, sometimes you’ll examine your motives and realize... oh, there’s no reason for me to have written that greedy character with physical traits stereotypically associated with Jewish people, except that I live in an antisemitic society that has taught me to associate those two things with each other. And when you make that realization you’ll have to confront that part of yourself and train yourself to do better.

Patterns.

There are patterns in everything- in the stories you consume, in the stories you create. It’s important to recognize these patterns, so you can avoid perpetuating the harmful ones (pro tip: pretty much any pattern if perpetuated ad infinitum can be harmful, even the seemingly positive ones). 

When finding the patterns across the board, this is where talking to people (who have invited that discussion) and listening to open discussions that you’re not involved with directly comes in (but again, make sure you’re invited). People in minority groups are the best at pointing out the patterns about how they’re portrayed. From a young age I was smart enough to notice when stories only had the one black character, but it wasn’t until I actually started paying attention to what black people were saying that I started noticing when there wasn’t one at all. Which I personally feel is an important distinction that I had to actively learn to make.

But there’s also patterns in your own writing. Maybe you always make your trans characters fit a certain body type, maybe you always have the same dynamic with your ships, maybe your stories all follow the same basic formula. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing- storytellers have signatures, and if you like a character type or trope or what have you, why not put it into your story? It’s your story, after all, and you’re allowed to be self-indulgent with your very own story.

The trick is to look at the patterns and find the places where those patterns are harmful. Are all of your trans characters across the board ace, while cis characters are prone to being allo? I actually spotted this pattern in my own work awhile back; it’s a little more complex than that because I tend to default most of my characters to ace unless I think about it, but I realized I’m a lot more prone to making cis characters explicitly allo while I tend to gloss over it with trans characters. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trans ace characters, but that certainly does seem like a harmful pattern, don’t it?

So, yeah. Look at the patterns in your work. Look at the patterns across the board. Listen to people you’re trying to create representation for about the harmful patterns they have to deal with. And if you find yourself falling into a harmful pattern of your own- like associating moral purity with tallness, or turning your characters of color into animals, or killing all of your wives- then take a step back, observe your motive, and figure out how to fix it. Even if the solution to a lot of dead wives is to kill some husbands.

Execution.

So, I maintain that there are very, very few tropes that are inherently Bad(tm) and need to be left behind in the name of progress. Barring some, any trope can be executed in a good or bad way, depending on the writer- a genderbend from one writer could be a reinforcement of gender stereotypes, while from another can be a thoughtful exploration of how environment affects personality depending on what gender you’ve been assigned + what you identify. Just because someone does it wrong, doesn’t make the concept itself bad.

All right, you looked a your motive and you looked at your patterns and you said, okay, I think I’m in the clear, but that still doesn’t change the fact that I’ve got a male character with a dead wife, and I know that’s Problematic(tm). What do?

You pay attention to how you write it, of course.

Execution is everything in writing. Look at coffee shop aus- they’re a popular concept, there’s eighteen billion of them in any given fandom, unless you’re dead set against them you probably have at least one that you really loved. So what was it about that one that made it special? Execution. How the writer approached the story and what they did with it.

You’ve got an idea that could come across harmful. You’ve got a Chosen One(tm) coming to the city he’s destined to rule. You’ve got a Gentleman falling in love with his Valet. You’ve got a character losing his sight in an accident. You could very easily do this poorly. You could very easily perpetuate harmful ideas about divine right to rule, or power imbalances in relationships, or disabled existence-

-I’m going to pause right here and put in a disclaimer that while it’s true that fiction affects reality, it doesn’t affect it anything like how Tumblr culture insists it does. It’s a lot more complex than that and most audiences have the awareness to understand that the story they’re taking in is a story, and reality will assert itself a lot more than you’re giving it credit for. That doesn’t mean don’t be aware and put in the effort in your writing, it just means don’t get your knickers in a twist just because you’re reading a story that happens to have favorable monarchs. Sometimes the writer just wanted a fairy tale.-

-Thoughtful execution is the most important ingredient for a good story; it can take a book that is merely “light, attractive reading”, to be read when you don’t want to get too invested, to “powerful, impactful, couldn’t put it down”. Good execution can, in fact, change the way people see the world, albeit in subtle ways.

There’s no easy way to get better at execution. It’s just something you have to practice.

Context:

At the end of the day, context is something you can’t divorce your idea from. You’ve got a female character who previously identified as a lesbian, but then became attracted to a man and started questioning that. What’s your context? Is it a story about how sexuality can sometimes be fluid, not necessarily for everyone but sometimes, for some people? Is it a story about bisexuality, and the journey to find out one’s identity so they can have a deeper understanding of themselves? Or is it yet another story about how lesbians just need to Find The Right Man to cure them of their lesbianness with their cishetero Straight Dick Of Healing?

Context can turn a bad trope into something poignant. Context can turn a terrible idea into something that will make someone go ‘huh’ and maybe learn something new about themselves.

(But for the love of god please pay attention to your presentation. ‘Woman who thought she was a lesbian falls in love with a man’ is a terrible presentation for a story about bisexuality. Again, please exhibit the awareness I know you to have.)

[cutegirlmayra]

Commission Receipt

My Commission Info (x) Hire me!

@solerwolf21 One-Shot - Soler Story (His Sonic OC)

Time: A few hours to plot out and then a day to write, another day to draw. 10 pages (+4 more, cause I like to give you more for your money >w<) and a drawing.

Amount Paid: 5$, 3$ for story, 2$ tip which gave him a free drawing for his kindness. ;w;

Review: @solerwolf21  “Cutirgirlmayra does a great job at accommodating to her customers requests with their stories. She’s very friendly and open to any and all ideas they have and want to be included in there request. If there is an Original Character(s) involved then she ask for any and everything about the character to make sure she can capture that character the way the customer envisioned while adding a breath of fresh air to them with her unique and passion filled writing style. This added with the fair prices she gives I’d recommend her to anyone in need of some help with a story or just want to see how someone else takes a bit of a spin on their ideas and make them come to light.”

Finished Product: (An example of my work.) -under the ‘read more’ is the drawing and One-Shot story.- a provided example of what I sell, permission to advertise according to rules and customer discretion was given.  

The Sun’s Redemption

After some minor missions with the Freedom Fighters, Soler was documenting his findings on a recent Eggman attack, recounting the parts and dimensions of the new robot designs him and the other fighters found for Tails and Rotor to look into later. He liked being useful like this, and Tails and Rotor seemed genuinely thankful for keeping a record like this.

Soler, while fiddling with the documents, pushed his quills back and pulled the lower ones down to their natural curl upwards. It was a fluid movement, the white of his fur with the peach oval and white tuff that barely looped his shoulders shimmered slightly in the low lighting of the base…

His deep blue streaks over his quills glistened lightly as he passed the hallway lights into the office rooms of the secret base, deep in the brush of nature, and away from Eggman’s ever-searching eye.

The paper flipped over his white gloves with black crossing lines in the center of them, counting the pages to make sure he had everything from the rest of his team that were with him during the mission. His emerald green eyes scanned the documents until satisfied with what was written upon them.

The tapping of his crimson shoes with the same x-marked pattern overlapping each other rang with low toned echoes against the hard floor.

While he was about to finish setting the piles of notes and observations onto a nearby desk, he heard a loud and disapproving whine that turned his ears towards the commotion.

‘Huh?’ he thought to himself as he looked to see Amy pestering Sonic again.

“You never have any time for me!” she complained, shoving her arms straight down and closing her eyes as she trailed behind him. “Can’t we… I don’t know, have a picnic or something?” she shrugged, a pleading look in her eyes. “I just miss you… you’ve been working a lot lately and-” Soler noticed Sonic was preoccupied with other things, keeping her mostly taking to his back. She reached for a back quill of his, a longing look in her sorrowful eyes before he turned around.

“Not now Amy,” he stated, but it wasn’t harsh or dismissive in the least bit. Mostly, he was just busy, looking over at his communication watch and fanning some other people away from trying to speak with him further as well. “Maybe we can all hang out other time.” he didn’t even look up to acknowledge her, so whatever he was doing, it must have been pretty important.

Amy took a few steps after him, her hand still reaching before stopping and holding her hands close to her chest.

“...Maybe…” was she questioning him or agreeing to his statement? Soler couldn’t tell.

Seeing her face though… he felt something in his heart go out to the girl.

It made him a little mad, to say the least.

He wandered over, trying to not draw too much attention to himself and looked off after Sonic, standing next to Amy. “...He’s probably just protecting you.” He stated, “Doesn’t want…” he stopped himself, looking down and seeming forlorned now. “To cause you any pain.” Soler’s body froze up, little protruding icicles pierced slowly against his skin. It was aggravating, to say the least. Here’s someone who cares so much about Sonic, and yet, he doesn’t know what he has. No… it’s opposite. Amy doesn’t realize how much danger she places herself in… just because he exists.

‘Existence… So many lives could be spared if just certain people didn’t exist.’ He frowned inwardly for a moment before turning his attention back to Amy, giving her a plucky smile. “He’ll be okay. It’s you he’s probably worried about.”

“Huh?” Amy tilted her head, looking confused on his thought process. “Soler?” she shifted her body and came him a cute pout, placing her hands on her hips and leaning forward in authority. “I’m your senior fighter, sir! What makes you think I can’t take care of myself?”

“Come on, Soler! I’m a big girl now! Can’t you let me run up the hill on my own for a change?”

“Gah..!”

Soler shook his head, blinking his eyes as he stepped back.

‘Was that… it can’t be.’

“Soler?” Amy leaned away, seeming worried her joke may have frightened him. “I-... I didn’t mean to make you jumpy. You alright?”

She leaned her hand up to his head, “You seem a little pale… well, paler than usual, haha!” she kid again, but there was a fear in his eyes as he skittishly moved away from her hand.

“I… I have to go. Sorry.” he quickly looked away, rushing out as Amy hollered after him.

“Soler! Wait!” she took off after him. “What’s going on? What’s his problem anyway?” she pouted, worried she may have hurt his feelings.

Up on a hill near a shady tree while the winds beat against the leaves and the sun still peeked over the grassy plain, hanging on to the horizon’s ledge outside the Freedom Fighter’s base was Soler, sitting under the tree and sighing with a sniff in his nose.

He wasn’t crying, just cold.

His body shivered slightly and warmed himself up with a few rubs on his arms and legs. He didn’t mean to shove his business into Amy’s life… she was her own person, and he usually found her adoration for Sonic sweet. But today he just felt like it could have been…

“Luna!” Soler was much younger now, rushing up the hill as he stumbled a little but held his footing. “Your father’s worried sick about you!”

A beautiful silver-quilled hedgehog with quills that blew gracefully in the wind stood in front of the setting sun, smiling towards it before turning just ever so slightly towards Soler. The smile made him pause in his stride to her, admiring the breathtaking silhouette of the girl. It had taken him a while to own up to his feelings, but now that he had, it was a bit overwhelming to say the least. Her purple dress trailed to the side of her as she moved her blue bangs away from eye.

“And what about you, Soler..?” she giggled, “Are you worried about me too?”

He held the necklace she used to wear, silver with a sphere of black that would light up according to the moon’s glowing phase. It would be out soon… then he could see what the moon looked like. Clouds blocked his vision the last few nights, so the necklace was like holding a miniature moon in his hands. It was her namesake… and because of her, it was his treasure.

She didn’t seem so far when the moon came out. Maybe Amy felt like that too. As long as she could still be around Sonic, it wasn’t so bad…

‘Amy… I’m sorry.’ he gripped his white chest fur… bending down slightly at the pain of guilt that fed into his heart and locked itself away with no windows to let some air in and relieve him of the agony.

Was he just doomed to cause pain and trouble?

“Soler!”

His head flicked up, shocked to hear his name shouted so close to the edge of the Base’s secret camp. “A-Amy?” he turned back, but couldn’t see anything within the heavy forested jungle…

His eyes scanned with a squint that helped him see a little crisper—the fine details of the landscape—but still, no pink dots were popping up.

He was about to get up and search for her, worried she may be in trouble, or most likely get into it. But as he stepped his foot out to get under himself and stand, Amy charged from behind and tackled him. He reflexed and used his training to stiffen his arms out on the ground, keeping him from tumbling over as she laughed and released him, sitting beside him next to the tree.

“Got you! Haha! What are you doing way out here? Admiring the fading sunbeams?” she grinned eagerly, wanting to speak with him as she looked over the sunset… “It’s beautiful.” she commented, “Because it won’t set forever.”

He seemed confused, turning around and tried to hold back any frustration he felt at being spooked. It was… kinda funny, but it really surprised him!

“W-what are you doing here? I could have accidentally fought you off if you hadn’t said anything!” he dusted himself off and sat back down, looking a bit like he wanted to scold her but held it back. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re not hurt.” he sighed, relaxing back and letting the tension leave his body.

“I really surprised you, huh?” she laughed before looking over at the colors in the darkening sky again. “Sonic says the same thing…”

Soler looked away, feeling bad again. “About today... “ he began, scratching the back of his head as he sat more upright, not wanting to slouch. “Pink… I’m sorry about what I said.” he held his hands together out in front of him, loosely, only having the fingers intertwined.

“I wish I wasn’t there. Then I wouldn’t have said anything.”

“What?” Amy turned back to him, not sure what he was getting at. “What are you talking about? I’m happy you’re here.” she gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. “I’m not sure what prompted the sudden warning, but I’m sure it was out of kindness.”

He turned away. “Yeah… well… I’m still sorry for disturbing you. You and Sonic… that’s completely different than mine…”

“Your..? Your what?” Amy removed the hand from his shoulder, tilting her head further in her confusion. “Soler… is there something you want to talk about?”

He flinched, “N-not really…” he looked back at the sun, hoping to change the subject. “You said something about the sun’s beauty being so because it fades? What do you mean by that?” He thought fast, a bit interested, but mostly to get her on another topic.

She did just that, starting to ramble. “Hehe! The colors, silly! The sight doesn’t last forever… that’s what makes it so beautiful. You have to be there, in the moment, the fleeting colors spread across the sky and capture your heart and imagination… What’s beautiful is that you treasure it longer because it’s not there all the time.”

He clung to his lunar necklace…

“The sun has to leave so the moon can rise and give a whole new experience to the earth…”

He turned his head away, closing his eyes tightly shut as the pain of his heart’s pricking icicles suddenly turned deadly and twisted into the sides of his heart.

“I know.” His voice wavered a moment, his true feelings coming out. “I know what that means.”

“...Soler?” Amy tenderly turned back, “Ah! Are you hurt!?” she moved in front of him, reaching out to see what he was clutching too.

His eyes opened wide, a new memory resurfacing…

“You’re hurt!”

Luna charged after him, seeing him trying to hide his wound.

“It’s fine.” He tried to gently usher her away, not wanting her to feel bad about his own injury. “It was…” he looked up a moment, seeing her eyes sparkle in their loving care. “...Worth it.” he was taken aback a moment. Never in his lonely life had he seen someone take so much time out of their own life to care about him this much.

“Nonsense! Here, let me dress that for you.” She stubbornly coaxed him down to the ground, getting out some natural medicine made from the surrounding plant life around her home village and began to treat him. He winced back at the pain, biting his jaw into place as he tried to not show it in front of her. He wanted to grin and bear it, but it wasn’t about trying to act cool in front of her. He just didn’t want her to suffer… watching him bleeding.

“You didn’t have to do that…” she commented, fixing him up before tightening the bandages as he held in another painful cry, puffing his cheeks up with air. ‘Mercy…’ he thought to himself. She smiled at his cute attempt to swallow the air back down but knew what it all meant. “But I’m very grateful you did.” she held him in a stare for a moment, but it felt like a long while to him. Looking into her eyes… was like watching a constellation go by…

She turned with a blush, “So is my father-!” she chimed in, clearing her throat at her obvious nerves that spiked as he didn’t look away from her. “A-and my village! We’re all in debt to your sacrifice and-and…”

He shook his head, a softer side coming out of him as his face turned to one of hope.

“As long as you’re alright, that’s all that matters.”

She turned back to him,... a little boldly, she cupped his face and smiled, hiding her face a bit as she dipped her head shyly and let hair slightly cover her weakened features from his kind words. “Thank you…”

She left it at that and scurried away, but his eyes never left hers, shaking at the touch that filled his cheek with a heat he hadn’t experienced before.

At the time, he didn’t mean anything much by it, only that he was happy to be a hero for a day. But after some time… he realized how much those words really meant,... in a moment… like that…

“Soler? You’re shaking!” Amy worriedly moved away. The daydream state he was in broke and he adjusted himself.

“S-sorry!” he kicked back to get himself sitting uprightly again, “I-I’ve been thinking back a lot on someone lately… it’s… it’s not something you need to concern yourself with though… it’s a sad story.” he thought that may sway her away from asking further, but instead, she sat comfortably down and put her head in her two hands, her elbows resting on the sides of her legs which were in the Indian-style position.

“...You’re not backing down… are you?” Soler smiled, he liked to see her this energetic and invested in people’s lives.

Maybe it would be okay… to tell her a thing or two about himself…

“...Her name was…” he choked up a minute, having to swallow. “Luna…”

As his tale went on, Amy began to tear up, hearing about the village and the girl he loved murdered right before his eyes. “It was all because of me. Neo Metal Sonic framed Shadow, murdered Luna to bring out my power through extreme stress and trauma…” he gripped his hands tightly, shaking them in renewed rage. “Now that I can fight, I want to protect those who can’t protect themselves! I want to make sure no one suffers as much as I did… as much as she did… as they all did…” he looked away. “It’s just better if I wasn’t around, you know? They could have lived their lives in gentle bliss. Up against the windy hills… the soft dirt and the clearest skies I’ve ever seen…” he looked up, seeing the daylight fade into the night.

“Oh!” he quickly fumbled to get his necklace, looking at the shape begin to take form and glow in it.

“Look!” he excitedly turned to show Amy, as she covered her mouth at how excited he looked to witness Luna’s pendant light up as the sun disappeared. “It’s just like you said… she would be here if…” he looked up into the sky. “If…” the glow from the pendant radiated the sight of the moon that rose quickly to the sky in front of him.

It was… amazing.

“It’s a Waning Gibbous or shrinking moon.” He explained, gazing at the stars as they began to come to life before his eyes. He was at peace for a moment, but his heart was still breaking from the ice that fell against the cold cave of his heart. “This is the first phase after the Full Moon occurs. It lasts about 7 days, with the Moon's illumination getting smaller each day until becoming a Last Quarter Moon... then it’ll shine at around half it’s normal glow. It rises after sunsets…” he looked at his necklace, his eyes arching back. “I hate that people can’t be happy unless I’m gone…”

“Nooo!!!” Amy leaped up, her eyes pouring out a storm of tears. “Don’t say that! Don’t ever say that!”

“W-woah!” He scooted back a bit, hitting himself against the tree. “What’s wrong?! Why are you crying!?” he freaked out, worried it was his fault somehow.

“Because she loved you so much!” she began to bawl, moving her hands to her eyes in a little bundle of a fist, crying into them. “Whahhha!!! You loved each other so much! I’m so sorry, Soler! But she wouldn’t want you to go away! She was happy with you!” she wiped her tears away quickly, sniffling and trying to compose herself.

“She was… happy…” Soler dipped his head down, “That’s the problem. She could have continued being happy if I never-”

“NOOOO!!!!” she cried harder, making him flinch back and stay silent this time.

‘W-what’s gotten into her?!’ he was a little freaked out, as Amy continued on.

“You gave her something that no one else could! I believe in destiny, and I believe—that no matter what you think—you two were made to find and save each other. Without her, would you have ever really ventured out to learn about your powers? Find Shadow? Us?”

He remained silent, but a slight bit of sunlight melted some of the cold that had formed in his heart.

“You’re like the sun, Soler! That’s what she loved about you!” Amy leaped forward, grabbing his hands.

“Ah!” he was a bit shocked by her boldness, but this was nothing new.

“You warmed their lives! You may not have been able to control your powers very well, but you did whatever you could to provide for them. Life can’t grow without the sun’s energy, Soler! You gave them something that they loved more than anything! You’re the reason they held such happy smiles on their faces! She loved cause you were you and you were there!” With a heavy heart, he starts to think back on the village. Were they happier before he came..?

No… they were terrified.

But after he came?

They were at peace… children could play safely in the streets and Luna’s Father ruled without worrying about dangers rising up to strike them. They were kept in the dark of their homes in constant panic… but when he showed up… when he came…

He felt a tear roll down his eye, and lifted an amazed finger to it, touching it as it moved.

“But they were taken from me… right before my eyes.” he closed his eyes, letting himself cry in front of her now, unable to hold it back as the ice in his heart that was melting away came out of his eyes. “They ended up suffering worse because of me! I was a little resistant to love them back at first… now I know why… I mean… if I had never gone to that village… I wouldn’t have… she… they all would have lived, wouldn’t they?” he looked at his soaked gloves. “These powers… I don’t know why I have them. All I know is that without Shadow’s help, I couldn’t have learned how to master them. Now I can save those people I couldn’t have before.”

“Soler… they loved you.” Amy moved back, “Why is that so hard to grasp? Even at the end, they were happy… they never could have had that joy if you weren’t there protecting them. Even with your powers untrained… you did everything you could to give them the life they had always wanted. I know if they were here—no… if Luna was here! She’d want you to shine for all the world! Giving light and hope, warmth and safety, to all those who have never known a loving, passionate, burning light like that before!” Amy withdrew her arms only to spring them out wide as the moon shone above her.

“Luna loved you! She loved you cause you were exactly what she needed! She could be the soft glow that lit up the darkness from your lonely, dreary life. She guided you to a purpose… and you gave her everything she had never known before! Soler! You gotta see yourself through her eyes!”

“...Through… her eyes..?”

“Soler…”

Luna turned to him, looking peaceful and relaxed as they sat before the sunset.

“Promise me… when you become the man you want to be… that you’ll never forget moments like this?”

“...What do you mean?” He turned to her, smiling as well as they held hands.

“Hehe!” she giggled, blushing but holding his hand a little tighter back.

“That no matter who needs it. You’ll always shine a ray of hope on whoever needs you. Promise me that?”

“Of course. That’s my only goal in life.”

“It’s a dream, Soler… a dream you can live in the broad daylight.” she looked up at the sun. “...I love that part of you, Soler. The part that won’t let himself be taken by the darkness…”

“Luna…” Soler remembered his dark side… and quickly wanted to warn her about it. “Luna, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Whatever it is, I know you’ll get through it.” she gave him a close-eyed smile, before hopping up and twirling around. “Ohh!!! The moon will be out soon! Quick! Tell me and then we can guess which phase it will be tonight!”

“B-but that’s not fair!” he laughed, “You always know what the moon’s going to be. It’s in your necklace!” she laughed and hid her secret.

“Whhhattt..? You calling me a cheater?” she teased, rushing off.

“Hey! Luna!” he took off after her, as she beckoned him on.

He ended up not telling her, always wanting her to believe he was better than what he thought he really was…

“Then that’s what I’ll do.” He gripped his pendant, standing up. “I’ll make sure to be the Sunrise… for someone trapped in the powers of that intimidating darkness… just like her and her village.” he gave a look of determination to the moon. “I promised her.”

Amy wiped the rest of her tears away, drying them up as she nodded at his new resolve. “Good. I’m with you on that one!” she gave him a thumbs up, and he looked kindly down to her.

“Sonic deserves you, Pinky. I’m sorry I thought it was wrong for you to try and be so close to him.” he offered her his hand.

“Ha! Love conquers all!” she took his hand and got up, heading back to base and waving to him. “You coming?”

“Just a minute!” he called back, looking out into the night…

An engine flared in the distance…

“What? It can’t be!” he could have sworn he knew that noise…

His teeth were borne and he looked behind him. “Run, Amy! Get the others!”

“Huh?” she turned around. “Soler..? What’s going-”

“It’s Neo Metal Sonic!” Soler took off into the night’s cool glow...

[athyrabunlord]

Below is my rambling response to @argnatien’s lovely review of 3.3k words (?!??!?!?) for LLSHP AU ch16~

I had hoped to finish ch17 in February but oh, it’s April now XD;;; So I’m definitely way later than you. But! I’m still very happy to receive your feedback! Yes, I did intend this chapter to be ‘quieter’ in terms of actions, but definitely still a turmoil in terms of emotions. The thing with the ending chapters of Arc2 is that, the characters were not given time to truly absorb the aftermaths. Everything happened so quickly, back to back, and suddenly their world is turned upside down. It’s not just Yoshiko – Dia and Riko are abruptly gone from their peaceful school life. Chika and You learned about what really happened to them but they never got the chance to talk to Riko about it.

I think I mentioned this already, but I’ll stress again that, if it weren’t for the carbonado necklace, Riko would have ended up like Frank and Alice Longbottom. She was subjected to not just one but several Cruciatus Curses on top of many Legilimens. It was a difficult scene for me to write as well, though I still strive to be as realistic as possible given the circumstances.

Riko had immediately Obliviated You and Chika while their… ‘injuries’ were still fresh, so to speak, while it’s already too late for Riko. Her mind was broken already, so there’s no point in Obliviating them. Besides, messing with memories is a crude method to deal with Cruciatus aftermath – it’s not done in canon HP verse. Unlike physical torture, I believe Cruciatus to be a direct attack on the mind to stimulate pain receptors, rather than actual attack on the person’s nervous system. So, if the mind forgets that it ever sent such signals, perhaps there wouldn’t be an aftereffect. Of course, all of this is just my assumption and play around with HP canon material XD;

Back to present, Chika said that being surrounded by friends and family would remind her that the pain from Cruciatus is in the past. What Riko needs now certainly is time and, as the girls have discovered, Dia to be with her too. I can’t elaborate more on this point but indeed, there is hope. Hope is what Aqours is all about.

Dia was raised and shown in public as the heiress of the Kurosawa family. They could not just outright disown or strip her of her title for no reason, that would be even worse shame than the current suspicions she now faced. Hence the best countermeasure they have for now is to keep her from public eyes. There’s the matter of her relationship with Riko as well. Though the Sakurauchis is an old family with prominent background, their lineage is nowhere as pure as Kurosawas. Both women, different social status, and now this incident… Dia and Riko indeed face quite a lot of obstacles.

Grounded in her family home, unable to contact friends and left with only thoughts of guilt and regret, Dia’s not in a good state in many ways (as briefly shown in ch17). Dia is not privy to Riko’s condition, so her mind would just keep wandering and assuming the worst. As Dia-oshi (that’s hard to believe probably, considering what I’ve done), it’s difficult for me to imagine how much pain Dia’s been experiencing but had to keep inside her with no way to vent her stress.

My parchment paper analogy is my attempt to differentiate Magical healing from Muggle healing process. For Muggles, we have equipment like MRT scans, EGG scans etc. So, as I try to rationalize how Healers work, the parchment analogy came to mind. Ink is indeed the stressor and is unpredictable, as in what sort of stain the ink would make on the paper is dependent on how the ink is dropped upon it. Thoughts/experiences change the pattern that the ink runs on the paper. Chika and You mentioned how their minds are like ‘dried parchment, one that’s been stained before but the ink color has long lightened.’ So, just how can Riko’s ‘parchment’ be salvaged?

Yes, you’re correct, she was just having a PTSD flashback upon seeing the person who betrayed and tortured her. She had no idea it was ‘Yohane’ – she still thought it was Yoshiko. She definitely is in no state of mind to think about the why and how. ………… yeah, I deserve to be stoned by Riko-oshis.

Hmm, yeah, can’t comment much on Yoshiko & Riko atm. But yes, Yoshiko will not go anywhere near Riko in fear of triggering another panic attack. I don’t remember what I said to you for ch15’s review LOL I agree, trust is indeed hard to regain.

Can’t comment much on the Yohane-Yoshiko connection either. Just as how Yoshiko can do certain things Yohane can’t (ie cast the Patronus), there are things Yohane can do that Yoshiko can’t either. The how and why shall be revealed in the remainder of Arc3. Yoshiko’s bad Occlumency is due to the fact she’s not ‘whole’. Yohane is definitely more accustomed to handling matters related to her soul, having practically grown up with such knowledge and those wings being a natural occurrence for her. In the alley, Yoshiko was practically losing control and attempting to force her way into Yohane’s mind, and so Yohane abruptly cut off the connection.

Specifically, it was Yoshiko’s emotional attachment to Hanamaru’s broken wand that stopped her from going berserk. To her, the broken wand was a remnant of the ‘old’ Hanamaru, from a period of time where things were still good. As hinted in past chapters, being the one to be able to approach Yoshiko while those tendrils were rampant, Hanamaru is a key factor in calming down Yoshiko.  Emotion is another key catalyst for the black tendrils. Finding out that Yohane had tortured Riko caused such undulated anger in Yoshiko. Clues from past events will be accumulating and adding up, and of course more to come. Good speculations, that’s all I can say for now 😃

Yup, playing around one’s soul definitely isn’t healthy for the long run, especially when you use said soul fragments as a form of weapon or defense. In a way, you could say Yohane-Yoshiko are damaged already. Neither of them is whole after all. Again, great speculations!

Hanamaru is connected to Yoshiko in a way, ever since the Dementor incident as a child. (ch17 sheds some light onto that mystery) She hasn’t been aware of this connection, at least not consciously, but she’s always been able to locate Yoshiko at Hogwarts (between classes and whatnot). After the Chamber of Secrets event though, she becomes aware of it without understanding what it really means. Seeing the Augurey enables her to make a comparison/metaphor, and so she stated that she could hear Yoshiko’s soul crying.

Foreshadowing… welp, ch17 did reveal more things haha

I’ve been fascinated by Augurey since I first read Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which listed them alphabetically. So in the very early planning stages of this story, I thought of Yoshiko right away and wanted it to play a significant role. Ch17 does reveal more than it being a symbol. The Hogwarts registry that writes down the names of magical children is an Augurey quill, that’s why I chose to use it for a purpose in this story as well.

Just as how Professor Koizumi coaxed Ruby into letting out her emotions in Interlude2, Hanamaru managed to do so for Yoshiko. The poor girl needs it, it’s not healthy keeping everything inside after all. It’s mostly guilt, she keeps telling herself she doesn’t deserve to be comforted and she’s in no position to be crying when everyone else have suffered so much more. I’m glad that you as a reader find the moment satisfying, as I intended it to be in spite of the overall solemn and melancholic tone. Ch17 presents a different catharsis for her, another one that she needs, and for Hanamaru as well.

<_< ah yes memories. I’ve always found Obliviate a very fascinating spell – a dangerous one too – yet it was never expanded much in the HP canon. The most poignant instances would be Gilderoy Lockhart stealing credit, Hermione to protect her parents, and Bertha Jorkins who got tortured by Voldemort and regained her memories. All of these have different impacts, positive and negative, on characters and the plot.

And so, I did a little variation amongst the members – the Memory Charm saved You and Chika’s lives; Riko extracted her memory into the Pensieve before her mind cracked; Yoshiko’s own memories being disjointed due to the whole Horcrux issue; Hanamaru’s memory repression being purely psychological.

I make them suffer a lot don’t I… (but this is nothing compared to other AUs I had for them LOL *gets shot*) But personally, I find things so much sweeter (or, bittersweet at least) if there was suffering beforehand. The saying of ‘you won’t realize how much you miss/need something until it’s gone’ kind of feel.

Again, I must say I’m beyond amazed at the 3.3k review. Like, holy moly, that’s longer than most some of my blips already! I really appreciate all these feedbacks though – it lets me see how a reader views the story, and it brings me joy to see the little nuances here and there noticed and appreciated. I’m also glad to elaborate upon/share the more intricate details that have no room in the storytelling.

Thanks again!

[lilia-mayy]

TW: mentions of suic!de, ED, mental illnesses

a couple of weeks ago i laid in my moms arms crying and told her that i wanted to die.

yeah.

it wasn’t just because of my “friends” - ive had my fair share of unrelated mental health struggles, too. i’ve had diagnosed clinical depression since 7th grade, severe seasonal affective disorder (literally who named it S.A.D. why couldn’t have u called it seasonal depressive disorder), general anxiety disorder, ADHD (without hyperactivity, previously called ADD), panic disorder, anorexia nerviosa, and i have dealt with psychosis. lol yeah there’s quite the list there - and all of it is genetic. well, ok, events in my life and my upbringing have definitely brought them to the forefront at certain times, caused them to start, cause me to relapse, etc. my eating disorder is an exception because it was caused by my mom’s own toxic views towards food that she unknowingly and accidentally pushed onto me. i’ve recovered now and have learned to have a much healthier relationship with food - and have realized just how much my mom’s personal issues were projected onto me as a kid. if i’m sure my upbringing also had a major role in my anxiety disorder - my mom can also be a very anxious and overwhelming person. All in all, the disorders i have are also just coded in my DNA but external factors also played a role.

anyway, i digress about my family issues - imma do a whole post for that. i’m medicated for my anxiety/panic disorder so i haven’t had issues with that in a while, so what really has been affecting me recently is the depression and seasonal depression combo. it sucks ass. like winter is just such an ass time. not having daylight and being cold as shit constantly doesn’t encourage wanting to live and with the depression on top of it man i never stood a mf chance. my recent suicidal-ness was a combination of a mean-girl-induced identity crisis and personal mental health struggles. i mentioned in my last post that i now hate the person i was when i was friends with them. ok, yknow what imma give them some fake names cause being vague is just so unnatural. let’s call the 2 main offenders Diane & Ally. Not sure why those names came to mind but imma just roll with it.

The person i became with Diane & Ally was so lazy, unmotivated, stuck-up, and judgemental. I don’t want to go into a ton of details about them and rant because i’m trying to get them off my mind and in my past. But i will say that they are the most unmotivated, lazy, and judgemental people i’ve ever met. They do not have goals, they don’t care about getting into college, they treat school like it’s nothing. They expect everything to fall at their feet like they’re the main characters in a fucking netflix show. All they do is smoke weed and lay on their beds and talk shit together - no joke. They’re so quick to judge other people for having interests different than theirs or “tryharding” in school. Yea, ok... i’d rather be a try hard then peak in high school. I fell into their patterns when i was friends with them. i stopped being able to think about my future. i couldn’t see myself past college living a life, i had no goals, no dreams, no work ethic, nothing. yes, of course my mental health issues also played into this, but they definitely added fuel to the fire. so much fuel. fucking kerosine.

The person i became was also just not me. i was never once myself around them. it took the space between us for me to realize how disengenuous i was being to myself and my true personality. i am a positive person. i like to make people laugh. i like to have real, deep conversations - there’s nothing better in the world than having a good ass conversation with someone. i hate awkwardness and not being comfortable around people but for some reason i kept making excuses for the way i felt with them. i felt like a fish out of water and i was pretending to be someone i wasn’t. what i’ve realized is that they are not the people for me. they are not the right friends for me. and now i have to work on being okay with that.

I always prided myself on being above getting caught up in high school social hierarchy, but looking from a birdseye view, i made all these excuses for Diane and Ally (and the 3 other people that are kind of included in this group) because they’re popular. they throw parties (horrible parties, but still parties). people know them as the popular group. why the fuck did i care? why the fuck do i still care? this is the kinda self reflection i was talking about in my last post. i’m such a people pleaser and i want everyone to like me so much that i forced myself into this friend group that i cant stand to be around. they have the personalities of a fucking doorknob. What i’ve really realized from all of this is that i need to learn to be okay on my own. i need to be learn to be happy alone. i need to recognize that i am enough and i don’t need to rely on other people for happiness. i need to fucking love myself dude. i haven’t in so long. i wanted to die because i hated who i had become so much. this is why i’ve been trying to get more into spirituality and the law of attraction and all that shit. i’m gonna post updates on here on how that’s going but so far so good. i’m relearning how to love myself!!! yes!! aight that’s all i’ve got for now

-lilia

[greentrickster]

@someoddmix #overwhelmed by feels and had to lay down every time I looked at this post

Ye! ^U^

@someoddmix #'everyone who knew me before has so far' yeah...yeah. and then Cyrus giving Lucas the TLDR haha #how hesitantly he adds that he doesnt know why he did anything before ;A; ;A; #LMAO WHY THE HAT. THANK YOU FOR ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS LUCAS #OOOOHH MY GOSH THE ANSWER IS EVEN CUTER!!! RED LOOKS COOL!!!!! #'moderately unhappy expression of soul rending mortification' jgjskjgjkd LMAO

One of the fun things for me to play with is that, in this AU at least, Cyrus’s face isn’t very expressive, so most of his expressions are relatively muted compared to what he’s actually feeling, and when he does make a more extreme expression, it’s significant, something big is being felt.

Memory issues and situations like Cyrus’s are also so interesting to explore and work with in writing, especially with a character at the point Cyrus is currently at in dealing with them. He’s been asked all the questions, he’s learned most of his actual backstory (or as much as he can and cares to), and he’s beginning to find his footing within the situation he’s now in. At the same time, he’s been doing this long enough that certain things are rote and various patterns have been established in regards to dealing with and explaining his amnesia.

Plus yes, hat backstory, finally! Also, added detail, the hat really is a nice goldenrod yellow, so while he’s being a bit of a perfectionist, he’s also right - it’s much more of a goldenrod yellow than primary yellow, a slightly darker, richer tone. ;)

@someoddmix  #THE WHOLE IMPERFECT SPEECH ;A; #HNNNNNGH #also love that Arceus is imperfect in this AU...so good

This entire AU and its parent AU exist because Arceus sent Melli to the future as well as Ingo by mistake, Arceus being capable of making mistakes and thus imperfect has been canon here since basically day one. ;) (But also I’m really glad you like it!)

And I quite like the idea of a god/higher being that’s fallible, but still kind. So often I see such characters written as fallible and jerks because of it or perfect but incapable of understanding what they’ve created in a way that lets them positively interact in a personal way, and it feels... kind of flat to me. Uninteresting to write about. Especially in a creator being who, by definition, must be immensely creative to have made such a complex, fascinating world as the ones we see in stories. But a being like that, who is also capable of personal growth and kindness? To me, that opens up so many more interesting opportunities and ideas to explore!

@someoddmix  #'I thought it was my home and that I'd never see it again' ;A; But he does! happy ending #not to make light of this but I do find it funny that Lucas has been carrying such guilt about leaving Cyrus behind #meanwhile Cyrus adores this place. best thing to ever happen to him probably #'I was supposed to bring you back' Oh Lucas YOU SWEETIE. FEELING SO GUILTY FOR HAVING TO LEAVE CYRUS TO AN UNCERTAIN FATE #'then you did fail in your task. and I'm grateful for it. thank you' #me sobbing into my fluffy cat #absolutely killed me #this is such a good conversation thank you for sharing it

^///^ <3 Thank-you so much, and you’re welcome! It is kinda of funny, though, isn’t it? A little in the haha way, a little in the ‘funny old world’ sort of way - it’s certainly ironic. And, to be honest, I don’t think Lucas himself really realized that he was carrying this guilt until he saw Cyrus again, and this confrontation with his past actions made everything feel so much realer than it had when he was ten, enough to get past the protagonist trauma resistance to the point that this conversation happened. He felt bad about it before, but actually seeing Cyrus again, learning what happened to him, that he really was trapped in Distortion World for four years... it was A Lot.

And, similarly, hearing Cyrus confirm that Lucas failed, but that it’s okay, that Cyrus is grateful he did... it’s such a huge relief, the kind where you just start crying because something that you would be happening forever just ended and you’re so glad it did. And its Lucas’s turn to have his pokemon sense their trainer’s emotional distress and respond to it, with flareon curling up partially in his lap like eevee’s doing with Cyrus and torterra materializing under him and Cyrus so they’re sitting on it instead of the ground. Cyrus leaves his hand on Lucas’s shoulder, and it’s just... a relief. Things end where they began, and in doing so allow new things to begin as the old things are remembered...

And in a place where time and space don’t work quite as you’d expect, there’s room to cry, and room to talk some more, and even room to go find your friends and do some exploring yourself before you go home. :)

So, Barry and Dawn are off exploring and quantifying data (and also just having fun, because how often do you get told, ‘Yeah, just go as far as you want, you can’t get lost here’ in a different dimension?), and Lucas and Cyrus are left sitting on the edge of the island they arrived on, Lucas with his legs crossed, Cyrus with eevee in his lap and his feet just dangling into the void.

“I assume you have questions for me?”

Lucas startles a bit at this. “What makes you say that?”

Cyrus looks at his, one corner of his mouth twitching up a bit. “Everyone who knew me before has so far. I can even cover the basics for you. I landed on Red’s mountain with my pokemon, some blurry memories of Distortion World, and no idea that it wasn’t my home dimension. I haven’t recovered any other memories of ‘before’ since then, and even psychic pokemon haven’t been able to find traces of them left in my mind. I’ve spent my time relearning how the world functions, how to care for myself and my pokemon, and sign language. I currently work as a trainer in Professor Blue’s gym and as an occasional assistant in his lab; I also do deliveries around town and nearby areas if people ask me to. Giratina is not my pokemon and I’m not their trainer, we’re friends. I like space, figuring out technology works, spending time with my pokemon, and watching Red and Blue be idiots together.

“I don’t want my old memories back. I don’t know what happened between me leaving Distortion World and falling through an Ultra Wormhole. And… I don’t know why I did… everything I did before. I’ve been diagnosed with chronic depression, and I’m getting help with it now, but I don’t know…” he shrugs and shakes his head, “I just don’t know. And I don’t know Galactic Boss Cyrus well enough to guess.” he turns back to Lucas and gives another mouth-twitch smile. “Anyway, that’s the general run-down. If there’s anything else you want to know, go ahead and ask.”

“Why the hat?”

Actual laughter, “That’s your first question?”

“It was a surprise! You’re- you’re Cyrus, and you walk around in public now wearing a yellow cap!”

“One, it’s goldenrod, and two it’s cheerful.” Cyrus huffs, then turns away, a bit embarrassed, “And I thought Red’s looked cool. Just… don’t tell anyone that last bit, Red and Blue tease me enough about it already.” (moderately unhappy expression of soul-rending mortification)

Lucas is amused as heck, but promises his silence. And, even moreso, feels more confident to ask his bigger questions and trust he’ll get honest answers. “Why don’t you want your memories back?”

“…fear, mostly,” Cyrus admits after a short hesitation, “If I got them back, I don’t know how much I’d still be me anymore - me as I am now, I mean. What if having them made me want to go back to what I was doing before I can remember? Even if it would mean I’d have all the technical knowledge people say I had back, I don’t want to risk that. I don’t want to risk anyone getting hurt because of me again. And… this one’s more selfish, but he sounds like he was a really miserable bastard, and I don’t want to go back to that. I like my life as it is and I want to keep it. I don’t want to go back to being so miserably unhappy that I’d rather not feel anything at all than keep enduring it.”

Lucas processes this for awhile, during which Cyrus fusses with eevee’s fur and weavile pops out of its pokeball of its own accord to make sure Cyrus is doing okay then sit next to him. After he’s thought about it enough, Lucas decides to bring out his other big question. “Do you still think the human spirit is flawed?”

Now it’s Cyrus’s turn to think before responding, “…probably.”

Which is not the answer Lucas was either expecting or hoping for, but before he can start worry, Cyrus continues.

“But it would have to be, wouldn’t it? To get a perfect world full of perfect things, you’d need to have a perfect being made it. And, from what I understand even Arceus is capable of making mistakes. So I guess it wouldn’t be that surprising, to think that we’re inherently imperfect, as we were made by an imperfect being. Maybe that’s why pokemon and other people are so important - they give us the opportunity to see our flaws and refine ourselves.”

Ah, right. While he has amnesia, Cyrus is still Very Smart. But… “Why do you think Arceus makes mistakes?”

“If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have needed to reconcile with Giratina a few months back.”

“I’m sorry, what?!”

“You can blame Akari for that one,” Cyrus says, even more seriously than usual, and with a little dash of trauma lurking in the back of his eyes, “Giratina’s my friend, but do you have any idea what it’s like to watch a pair of gods sort out millennia-old family issues a few dozen feet away from you?! It was terrifying! And I think the only reason I didn’t get smote by Arceus at the end of it is because Giratina likes me!”

“That scary?” Lucas asks, part joking, part serious.

Cyrus nods vigorously, “The scariest moment in my life!” (pauses, considers) “Which I technically only have a couple years of memories for, but I doubt that anything’s likely to top it.”

“That’s fair.” Silence descends again, but Lucas is feeling more comfortable with it this time.

[abadpoetwithdreams]

Nirvana in Fire Episode 2 Reaction

(Hello, yes, it’s me again, the person who said she’d write a reaction post for every episode she watched and then went and watched SEVEN EPISODES IN THREE DAYS. I have regrets. I actually didn’t even want to stop watching long enough to write this, but I have to before I get too much deeper in. Everything below is written from my episode notes I made while watching episode 2 for the first time, so none of my later knowledge applies, here. I actually know names much better now, obviously. Also I continue to do really badly at not getting attached to anyone. Comically badly, really. I’m setting myself up for a lot of grief, I can tell.)

• So, episode two of Nirvana in Fire! We start this episode by immediately focusing on the princess (whose name is Ni Huang) which I was not expecting but which I welcomed wholly. After she had such a fun, powerful introduction, as well as that cheeky conversation with the Emperor, I am happy that her character gets even more fleshed out here. The fact that she is still unmarried is apparently a Big Deal, because until she is safely paired off with a suitable husband, she is a political wild card. Whoever marries her will essentially have her army of 10,000 men as a dowry, with all the clout that entails, making the Emperor anxious to arrange her marriage as quickly as possible. Unusually for this sort of story, though, he actually cares about her enough that he has let her put off marriage for a many years, so that’s rather sweet. He even seems proud that so many guys are interested in marrying her, which is cute. (He wavers between being proud that she’s so awesome and that so many people would want her, and being worried that so many people want her for the power she has.) In fact, even though this whole tournament for her suitors that he’s arranging seems like a final ultimatum, he seemingly is also going ahead and letting her have final combat with the top candidates, so I guess he’s potentially still letting it slide—for now.

• And why hasn’t she married, even though she is (as he friend so kindly tells her) no longer young? OH I CAN GUESS. *senses Doomed Romance looming closer*

• Side-note: I wish the Emperor’s eunuch buddy would stop smiling. He’s incredibly creepy. The performance reminds me of whoever played Osric in the Tennant production of Hamlet (arguably my favourite Hamlet: that perpetual smile that’s hilarious but also massively unsettling).

• Also Ni Huang has a younger brother? And he is going to take over the army now? Because the emperor is worried about the popularity and influence Ni Huang has among her own army? I’d say the Emperor is being needlessly paranoid, but I’ve watched various Asian period dramas before. He’s right to be skittish.

• Ok and then we get introduced to a general (??) who is immediately also on my list of faves in this show (I said I wouldn’t pick favourites. I SAID I WOULDN’T GET ATTACHED. GAH) because he is introduced with some great drumming music and while punching out two people at once, and also he has fantastic eyebrows and is maybe the only person on this entire show so far who has a Beard that isn’t an Evil Beard. Excellent. He seems very fierce and reminds me a lot of our hero’s surly teen bodyguard, and now I want them to fight.

• The prince who isn’t the Crown Prince (Yu, I have gathered his name is—see, I’ll get all the names gradually, I should have them all solidly by the end of ep3. Being able to keep track of a million names and complicated family trees is one of my Silmarillion powers) seems increasingly snakey every time I see him. This time it’s him praising the two guys the general beat up to his face, and then going off to scold them harshly and be really generally mean later. A harmless bit of two-faced-ness? Mayyyyyybe. But I’m guessing this is just the tip of the iceberg with this guy.

• He has really beautiful clothes, though. That red and gold. NICE.

• We finally come back to Chang Su—yeah, I know I was going to call him Lin Shu last episode because that was the first name I remembered, but everyone’s calling him Mei Chang Su so I’ve picked up on that now and will stick with that I guess… Or, actually, I’ll probably just start using all the names interchangeably and be both confusing and confused. It’s fine.

• Anyway, our mysterious man in white (side note: I adore the simplicity of his costume and how it makes him look even more washed out and ghostly when surrounded by the vibrant colors and detailed patterning of all the other men’s costumes) is hanging out at the Marquis’ house where he is reading and drinking tea in the garden, which just makes me like him more because that is how I, too, like to spend my time. His angry teen bodyguard is busy jumping from rooftop to rooftop and wire-flying through the air, as one does. The bodyguard’s name is Fei Liu and I adore him. More of this kid, please, show, and thanks.

• Chang Su sends Fei Liu out to play, and when Jing Rui wonders at that, Chang Su assures him it’s fine: Fei Liu has a good temper. Immediately I know something is up. Either that, or our entire premise that Chang Su is a brilliant strategist is a lie, because that teen murder machine is the angriest character in this entire show and you’d have to be an idiot to think otherwise.

• These boys, by the way—Jing Rui and … Something Jin? His happy sidekick— continue to be the nicest, most cheerful and pleasant duo. They’re in temperment like the Merry and Pippin of this show. Every time I see them in a scene with Chang Su I get intensely uncomfortable because I’m certain he doesn’t really see them as the friends they think they are to him.

• And then I get my wish and the general and Fei Liu have a mighty sky and roof battle, and it’s glorious. The cinematography is so good in this show, it really lets the wirework and choreography shine. Usually I prefer my combat more House of Flying Daggers over the top and less Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon over the top, but it’s working for me 100% here. The dancer in me digs it.

• “I will be sure to discipline him” -Yeah, sure you will, Chang Su. Suuuuure.

• The general seems suspicious, but that’s only to be expected when you are accosted by a strange, vicious, flying child in a garden.

• “There is nothing exceptional about me. Except for my stunning good looks.” -Chang Su, when questioned by the general. I might have added that last part.

• Fei Liu’s faceplant of shame against the wall made me laugh out loud. Gosh, I love this kid.

• And! It turns out Jing Rui’s brother with the sneaky face was eavesdropping for Prince Yu, and of course when he scuttles away to report his findings we cut to Chang Su looking immensely smug. Yup, he planned that whole fight out. This guy.

• Meanwhile, the Marquis is in the pocket of the Crown Prince, and reports to him the same news. But these guys go a step further and not only are they planning to win Chang Su over; they are planning that if they can’t win him, they will kill him! I’m just assuming Yu hasn’t thought that far ahead.

• “I took to the battlefield in my armor when I was seventeen years old. After witnessing bloody battles for seventeen years, all I have left is a heart of steel.” -Ni Huang, lying. But also continuing to be immensely quotable.

• Also her friend is a super-important intelligence agent? She has this fantastically dangerous attitude, so I can’t wait to see more of her. I love how competent these women are, and they aren’t presented as awesome warriors simply as window-dressing; they make their awesomeness seem earned and genuine and an core part of their characters, so well done show (or novel? I think this is an adaptation of a book? Either way, bravo, and bravo to the actresses for being so effortlessly cool).

• It’s another prince! Prince Jing, this time, and I love this guy immediately. He has a perpetually sad grumpy face but the more you see of his life the more it’s understandable. Guy has it rough. But he seems to be very close with Ni Huang, which is yet another point in his favor! His short, abrupt mannerisms are hilarious, when contrasted with his brothers’ constant waffling and wheedling and whining.

• Oh, and a thread I had questions about last episode gets pulled out a little more: Ni Huang’s friend in the intelligence force was one of those who investigated Lin Shu’s family all those years ago and who came to the conclusion that they were treasonous due to (what I am assuming was planted) evidence that Prince Jing thinks was bogus. He still hasn’t forgiven her, and she still hasn’t forgiven him for continuing to think well of the traitor who killed her husband. Supposedly. Furthermore, Ni Huang also still does not believe Lin Shu and his family were guilty, which hurts her friend’s feelings. Sheesh, I can’t wait for whenever the flashbacks start and we can ACTUALLY SEE what happened 12 years ago! Everyone’s lives seem to be divided into a before and after centered around that event, whether they realize it or not, but everyone also has different takes on what happened. The pay off had better be amazing, because the constant teasing is killing me.

• So now we come to what I thought was going to be the worst scene of the episode, where the Emperor makes poor Prince Jing just stand at attention, ignored, outside his palace and then legit forgets about him and we get all this backstory about how his father treats him harshly due to his sympathizing with Lin Shu’s family and inability to keep his mouth shut and I just felt so bad for this poor guy. But sidenote: the Emperor’s happy air-calligraphy as he admires the handwriting he was looking at when Prince Jing first arrived made me laugh. I really, really like whoever this actor is who’s playing the Emperor. I don’t think I’ve seen him before. But he gives what could easily be yet another trope-y Emperor role a lot of nuance.

• And then when Jing is finally allowed inside, the Crown Prince immediately starts haranguing him about how filthy he looks and why didn’t he go home to clean up first and I wanted to slap him. And then slimy Prince Yu cuts in to argue against the Crown Prince in an attempt to get Good Son Points from their Emperor Dad, and I wanted to slap him, too. My gosh, they’re a pair of five-year-olds.

• Also, Prince Jing continues to be very laconic, but I love that he is both quieter than his brothers AND plagued by the problem that he doesn’t know WHEN to shut up. Someone who speaks their mind like he does and who cares more about what is Right instead of what is Safe reeeeeally needs someone a bit more sneaky and pragmatic looking out for them. Someone like … CHANG SU? HMMMMMMM

• Jing Rui fiercely defending his buddy Chang Su from court politics, and then proudly saying his father is neutral in politics (oh poor boy) is so Good, it breaks my heart.

• And with that it’s finally the start of the tournament to find Ni Huang a husband! Fei Liu angrily fails at putting a ribbon in his hair in the background of a scene and I had to rewind to actually pay attention to what the boys were saying because it distracted me. Chang Su is still being the most polite little troll and is like ‘hey, how about we show up SUPER LATE’ all the while surely knowing that the two princes are desperate for a glimpse of him. He really wants to make a big entrance, ahahaha.

• Ni Huang’s baby brother is PRECIOUS. I ADORE HIM. “Princess Ni Huang probably doesn’t worry as much about this tournament as the young prince” PRECIOUS I SAY.

• I’m perplexed by how expressive Hu Ge can make his expressionless face be. He emotes a lot without emoting at all and it’s uncanny. There was a whole story on his face when he commented on how close Ni Huang and her brother are, and I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS.

• And then this show briefly turns into a brilliant comedy where Prince Yu and the Crown Prince basically both race out of their private box to where Chang Su is and immediately start trying to win him over with a forcefulness that grows in awkwardness and eagerness until it’s basically a farce. It’s glorious. And once again I have to commend the acting in this scene, because what they’re saying isn’t even inherently funny; it’s the way they say it and the pacing and their expressions that made me rewatch this scene twice just so I could cackle over it again. Jing Rui increasingly offput by their posturing, Chang Su increasingly dying inside, Yu Jin completely oblivious. Hysterical. Also there’s a shot that makes me realize the reason why I like Chang Su’s face and specifically his eyes so much is because he has this weird resemblance to Buster Keaton, so there’s that.

• AND NOW WE COME TO THE WONDERFUL GRAND EMPRESS DOWAGER SCENE.

• JUST A NICE SCENE WITH A NICE OLD LADY AND HER DOTING GRANDKIDS.

• JUST A NICE HAPPY FAMILY SCENE. • YUP.

• NOTHING ELSE TO SAY HERE.

��� … .

• Ok no, that’s all a lie, but I had been lulled into a false sense of security by the hilarity of the fighting princes, so I thought this was just going to be cute. And at first, it was. Well, after Lin Shu’s brief, unusually intense moment with Fei Liu where he orders him on exactly how he is to behave with the old lady, that is. “She’s the kindest grandmother in the world,” he says, his eyes drifting to middle distance, and I got a little choked up. But it’s ok, the moment is brief, just enough to color the next scene with poignancy, and I thought that was it. He gives his instruction, he goes in, everything seems fine (except for the fact that he seems legit scared to look his grandmother in the face, THIS POOR MAN), Yu Jin is a cheerful doof as usual, the Empress Dowager is DELIGHTFUL and her obsession with everyone’s marital status is charming (as is Jing Rui’s discomfiture, I like his hair-down look btw), Fei Liu makes an epic eyeroll and continues to climb in my esteem, and then—

• Dangit.

• Ok, so story time: I don’t know Chinese. Not at all. I am ¼ Chinese, actually, as well as ¼ Japanese, but I know more Japanese because I have never been in contact with my Chinese side of the family as much. Anyway, so I have always relied entirely on subtitles when watching Chinese media, but dramafever’s subtitles have seemed a little inconsistent to me. And I THINK they were in this scene. Because when Jing Rui introduced himself to his aged great-grandmother, she asked if he was “Xiao Rui,” according to the subtitles, and he said yes. Now, I figured something was up here because I could have sworn his name was Jing Rui? So I paused the episode for a quick detour to google, and apparently Xiao means small??? Which makes sense contextually and is super cute????? So this meant I was like ‘Aww, how sweet’ and then went back to the episode full of warm fuzzy feelings and a vague sense of accomplishment, hit play, and was armed with just enough Chinese knowledge to feel the moment when that kindly old woman calls Lin Shu “Xiao Shu” LIKE A FREAKING FREIGHT TRAIN OF PAIN. HIS EXPRESSION WAS MY EXPRESSION IN THAT MOMENT. AUGHHHHHHHHH

• AND THEN • IT JUST

• KEEPS

• GOING

• She comments on how thin and sickly he looks and I was like bye

• And then that horrid woman who I THINK is the Crown Prince’s mother (out of everyone it’s all the women in the court that I have the most trouble differentiating, which is weird because I should be able to tell them apart easily by their headdresses but idk) makes a joke about haha she said he’s thin and she called him small Su what a rascal that grandmother and meanwhile both Chang Su and I are over here dying inside and I’m like bYe

• And then she gives him a stupid snack that was his favorite when he was a kid because she can’t remember anything recent but by golly she’s going to remember what her grandkids like and that reminded me of my own great-grandmother who had this same memory problem due to a stroke but anyway he takes it and looks absolutely terrified by both the emotional battering he’s getting and also the possibility his cover will be blown, probably, and he wraps that thing up in his hands like it’s the most precious thing in the world and I was like bYE

• And then good ol’ grandma is like “Hey, Ni Huang, get over here and hold hands with your boyfriend” and I was like BYE

• And then when the Empress Dowager is getting distressed because the women are all telling her ‘Oh, that isn’t Shu, they aren’t getting married, she broke her engagement years ago�� Ni Huang is obviously hurting and tries to quietly slip away but HE GRABS Her HAND LIKE HE JUST CANT HELP HIMSLEF ANDHER FACE I WAS JUST AAAAAGHHHHHHHHFSLSLWHDKls:KdJk:SK;;;;;

• And my girl Ni Huang, she knows. She doesn’t know what she knows, but she KNOWS.

• “Xiao Shu, you’re leaving?” *DEAD*

• Also that music came back

• Dangit

• I don’t even know what else happened in the episode after that. I had to go back and rewatch it for this post because I was so shook. Ni Huang, bright thing that she is, corners Chang Su and asks him to walk with her, and she starts probing at him to try to figure out why he behaved so oddly and why she felt so strange with him (ok the last is more me speculating based on the actress’ body language and expressions more than anything in the actual text, but it’s definitely what’s going on ok). And they are the perfect couple they’re both so sharp and even their colors compliment each other and I’m very distressed.

• And then the episode ends with a child getting beaten up. The end.

I’m exhausted. On to episode 3.