#but Mulder really isn't bothered by others calling him Mulder

[randomfoggytiger]

I had this question pop into my head the other night, and you were the first person I thought of to answer it.

I've read numerous times about how Scully continually respected Mulder's wishes to not be addressed as "Fox" and how Diana just completely ignored his preference.

What I'm curious about, though, is what you think about Margaret Scully always addressing him as "Fox". It doesn't seem to bother him, unlike when his own mother calls him "Fox".

Anyways, these are the thoughts that keep me up at night 😜

I think he takes it in stride that his parents or Scully's parents (or the older generation in general) are going to call him "Fox" by default. The world is run on social default; and he's clever enough to realize and expect it.

Further, I don't think he minds when his mother calls him Mulder: I think he uses 'Mulder' as a distancing tactic-- something he insisted on, perhaps, during his Star Trek days or his post-divorce mild rebellions or anything that would set him 'apart' from his parents; then carried it into his professional circles. He tenderly smiles when Tena Mulder calls him 'Fox', he doesn't flinch when Bill Mulder calls him 'Fox', he anticipates and smiles over Diana's 'Fox', etc.

Personally, I think he popped that excuse off to Scully because he was feeling uncomfortable... but 'Mulder' changed between them-- became special to them-- because she took his discomfort in stride and respected his wish.

And, actually, it's Scully who reinforces the 'Mulder' moniker to everyone: "Not Fox-- Mulder" is what she keeps repeating to Melissa, and is how she refers to him when talking to Ellen and Maggie and Bill. I think she reinforced it because that was a rule that was set, and she is zealously guarding it: an extension of her territory, if you will. (Hence, her raging jealousy at Dr. Berenbaum or Diana Fowley or etc. etc.) "You may know my partner, but you must call him by the name I call him by."

[therealsaintscully]

Thank you for the tag, lovely @crepesuzette2023! It's been nice to take some time to think about my fics!

How many works do you have on ao3?

20; 18 are Johnlock (BBC) and two, the most recent ones, are mclennon.

What’s your total word count?

306,378 (I was stunned to see this, I had no idea).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All are Johnlock: Mark Your Calendars, my beloved Erosion, Detours, Plus One and Turned - Part I : Queen and Country.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I try to be very good about it and respond as often as I can, but the truth is I'm a bit of an emotional wreck so when there's a rush of comments I get overwhelmed and over emotional about them, and tend to put it off for a while. I read them ALL, and I often go back and re-read them.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I had to refresh my memory but it's def Every Other Universe ("What if in every other universe John Watson leaves?"). It's one of my very earliest ones and I cringe a little reading it, but it's a very neat idea. Gretna Green Waltz, a mclennon fic, is very devastating if I may say so myself, and was written as such knowingly. It only reflects reality, though, and that's just as devastating.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think Mark Your Calendars has the happiest ending, judging by the numbers of kudos, but for me as the writer, the cosiest, most joy-bringing ending was that of Simon (or: Love Calls You by Your Name).

Do you write crossovers?

The sadly abandoned Turned series is a crossover with Homeland.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate, but some less-than-considerate "when's the next chapter???" comments. I don't bother with them.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do :)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I remember being asked, but I'm not sure what happened with it! Some of my fics got podficced, though: Mark Your Calendars is available as podfic, and so is I Have not Lingered (thanks to the lovely @helloliriels)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'm so neurotic and particular I don't think I'm cut out for that.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Mulder and Scully are DEFINITELY the mothership and always will be. I still sigh about them in a special, exasperated way about three times a week. I'm still here with Johnlock of course, but I'm pretty sure mclennon has been in the back of my mind for decades, but I was too haunted by other ships to fall down that rabbit hole. Look at me, though, here I am.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Turned, very sadly. So much so that I've considered taking it off AO3 but I'm so proud of what I did achieve with it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think my best writing moments are the ones that hook unto my real, personal experiences, not just a general idea of life situations. Erosion is based on my own personal grief and family losses, and Gretna Green Waltz is a retelling of my biggest heartache. I have noticed readers can tell when you're really putting your heart into a story.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English isn't my first language, which means I have to rely on betas which for me sadly slows me down - I want to be able to just write them and post them otherwise I overthink. I'm also a screenwriter irl, and I noticed a pattern that is another weakness - I always have banger openings, or first acts to my stories/screenplays, but sometimes I don't know the ending and I get lost and hesitant. That's why Gretna Green Waltz was SUCH a surprise - much like Junk, the song that haunts Paul throughout the fic, came to him in one piece, GGW landed in my head as a full story. I wrote it in TWO WEEKS! That NEVER happened before!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It really depends on how it's done. If it's 2-3 sentences and they're simple I assume the readers will Google Translate it. Jinglebell stands out as someone who did it really well in multi-chapter fic that's all about Sherlock discovering that John is a polyglot, so it can be done well.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock (for which I started writing during covid in 2020), although as a reader it was TXF, back in in 90s and early 2000s.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

The X-Files. I've had a Scully character study in my head for years that I just can't get right.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

With Johnlock it would have to be the now-abandoned Turned, and mclennon it would be Gretna Green Waltz. I am very proud of both.

Tagging @menlove, @discordantwords, @saint-mona, @totallysilvergirl @m1ssunderstanding @slippinmickeys @kettykika78 @agrlsname @arwamachine @calaisreno @aggressivewhenstartled and anyone who sees this who wants to participate :)

[deathsbestgirl]

god. the thing about mulder & scully's conversations in never again, is they're having two conversations at once. and sometimes they understand that, and sometimes they don't.

scully starts by asking him why she doesn't have a desk. and mulder tells her he always thought 'that was her area.' which disappoints her. because they're not on the same page. if she had a desk & a nameplate, the x files would really be hers too. that's hard for mulder to accept because a big part of him believes she shouldn't be there. not because she hasn't earned it or doesn't deserve it, hasn't proved herself, or that she doesn't really care about the x files. or actually, yes because of those things. she has dedicated herself and lost so much, she believes in him and the work, and he can't trap her down there with him. she's supposed to move up & move on, have that normal life she sometimes thinks she wants and mulder believes she wants.

but to scully, it's like there's no room for her. she's a visitor. she doesn't have evidence of her value, to the x files or to mulder.

then he gives her the assignment, acts like her superior instead of her partner. he tells her she was just assigned and this is his life. "and it's become mine."

now mulder's insecurities come out. part of him wants her to move on, but he can't let go of her either. she's made him a whole person.

then he tells her 'maybe it's good we get some time apart' and he doesn't tell her where she's going and he knows she'll go to philadelphia. i think he kind of expects to hear from her. but he's on vacation and she's working. 'at least she's there to keep an eye on things.'

and she's bothered again when he doesn't trust her judgement. it leads her to more questioning & doubts.

in the beginning, she took him at his word. she believed him and she thought she understood. she followed him, and chose him over & over again. not just the work, she chose mulder.

when she was on her deathbed after the abduction, ahab didn't convince her to live. mulder did. she had the strength of his beliefs. in irresistible, she trusts mulder with her life. but she has to be strong for him, she can't be vulnerable. she doesn't want to be someone he needs to protect, someone he'd destroy himself for.

at the end of never again, mulder is angry & petty and he doesn't seem to get it. but i think he understands when he goes to say "yes but it's become mine." it's their work. it's their life. they belong to each other.

but he didn't say it. they both know now, but they maintain the silence.

in leonard betts, i think you can tell mulder understood more than he did at the beginning of never again. he barely voices his theory, let's her say what he's thinking. when she asks for his help, he gives it. he tries to make her laugh. in the end, he validates her. she did good work!! be proud!!

scully's fear & disquiet at the end bring us to her strength & clarity at the beginning of memento mori. mulder's validation becomes him bringing her flowers at the hospital, learning he's the only one she's called. scully held her strength to tell him the facts, so carefully of her fatal diagnosis. his questions lead them to the x files, the other women abductees they met before.

mulder bolsters her, because she isn't as strong as she appears and she has always drawn on his strength, his beliefs.

they maintained silence, but through the cancer arc, they're forced to face exactly what they are to each other, as they continue leaving it unsaid. yet they become so physical, they go further for each other than they have in the past.

in detour, scully tries again. she's not dying anymore. she's in remission, she survived and she's ready. but mulder runs into the woods chasing an x file, and we see scully settle into painful acceptance. she can't be mad. everything's different but it's still the same.

[baronessblixen]

Saw your tags! I admit the angle about Bill knowing abt Scully's past relationships might be a stretch; but I find it interesting that from the get-go he intuits that Scully follows leadership "blindly" (as he sees it); and that she tends to "lose" herself in whatever "role" she's trying to fill before he even met Mulder or thoroughly assessed the situation. And it's no secret she and her father had pet names for each other, so it'd be easy for him to add 2 and 2 to get 4.

I can see him knowing about Jack Willis at least-- maybe not enough to care, but enough to know she was publicly dating and celebrating birthdays with him. Daniel's an if; but he was a big enough turn in Scully's life that she transferred out from under him and caused a big stink when recruited to the FBI. And Bill pegged Scully (not altogether rightly) as being a second mate to Mulder's insane quest, quietly judging the whole situation at Maggie's party.

I guess it wouldn't surprise me if preS1 and S1 Scully kept her family more in the loop, not having distanced herself because of her experiences: openly talking about her cute partner to Ellen, filling in Mulder on her own personal life, talking about her brothers casually in Roland's episode. I think reticence came later: before her abduction. she spoke her mind (little girl yelling at her brother and calling Mulder "Spooky" with her other peers before assignment, for instance.)

But I'm open to having my mind changed, of course~. ;))))

They don't seem particularly close to me and it's probably just a headcanon of mine, but I'm not sure how often they see each other. So I imagine Scully telling her mother - and before she died, her sister - things and then Maggie Scully slips that information into conversations with her other children. I wish we'd seen more of that whole family dynamic. Bill does seem a bit like he's trying to fill his father's shoes and be the head of the family after his death. So of course him not knowing something about one of his siblings would bother him.

Maybe he thinks she follows leadership blindly is because he doesn't understand what she does for work and he only sees her follow Mulder. Probably much like she used to follow their dad around and maybe even him when she was young. Do we know if their dad only had a nickname for her? Maybe each of them had a nickname.

I can't see Scully give Daniel as a reason why she's accepting the position at the FBI. I'm not sure the show intended it like that either. I think she and Melissa talk about it in a flashback and they're just talking about it being a challenge.

Totally agree that she probably kept them more in the loop pre her abduction. Especially pre-season 1. and can you blame her? What can she talk about? There isn't much. The only other person who fully gets it is Mulder. It's all very interesting and I really wish we could have had more of their family dynamics.

[spookyagentfmulder]

continued from here @talentforlying 🚬

They were on their way back to Atlanta, traveling from Savannah via the 125. The town was full of ghosts, couple of hundreds of years worth of wayward souls and tourists which made for a paranormal hot spot. The case, thankfully, had been surprisingly simple and was practically a vacation compared to some of the other X-Files he had enlisted John's help on. Unfortunately, they had reached the part of the journey called Atomic Road; a two-lane highway used once to transport hazardous materials, but halted right at the end of the Cold War. It spanned all the way from Savannah River Site all the way to Augusta, and the part they were in now was nothing but trees on either side for miles. It made for an ominous atmosphere, and caused Mulder's mind to travel.

"Well, that's just the very basics of understanding anything, isn't it?"

Constantine's cigarette smoke pressed against his nostrils, rubbing along his old addiction like a overly friendly stray. It was the reason he had started this line of conversation in the first place; simply as a means to keep his mind off the aching need to light up himself. It had been years now, and he was doing really good despite how many times he caught whiffs of Morley's hanging about the office.

"Belief. Faith. You can undermine anything so long as you don't believe in it. In Peter Pan, the fairy, Tinkerbell, almost dies simply because Wendy doesn't believe. Anything could die just like that. You and I could simply cease to exist if no one thought about us anymore." There was something comforting in existentialism. Something that made Mulder expand his mind and forget everything else that was haunting him. If he made himself feel small, if he made the things around him seem insignificant, they couldn't bother him as much.

"In quantum mechanics, even a particle of matter behaves differently whenever it's being observed. What is it about being witnessed, about being seen, about being believed in that is so intrinsic to the very nature of being?"

[ghostbustermelanieking]

au where scully is reassigned from the x files but mulder isn't?

1. Shortly after the incident in Antarctica, Mulder and Scully get the news that the X-Files have been reopened. They both apply for reassignment immediately. “This is it, Scully,” he tells her that night at her place, sitting on her couch. “We testify to OPR about what we know, and we’ll get the Files back in no time. We’re finally close to finding the truth.”

She shakes her head with an eye roll and a small smile, frostbite still visible on her cheeks. She tells him she hopes so, patting his knee absently.

But it doesn’t happen the way that they’re hoping. Of course it doesn’t. The next morning, they go in and they are given the news that only Mulder has been reassigned to the X-Files. Mulder and Diana Fowley. Scully is meant to stay under Kersh.

Mulder is furious, initially, ranting angrily to Scully on the bench on the hall, not caring who hears him. They’re splitting us up again, Scully, they’re trying to weaken us. Scully is surprisingly quiet, her arms crossed over her chest and her mouth set in a hard line. He remembers, involuntarily, a few weeks ago when he told her to go be a doctor and she told him that she wouldn’t quit. Now it feels as if their positions are reversed again. Except the decisions have been made for them.

He wonders, briefly, if this is what was supposed to happen. If this is his way of saving Scully, by moving on without her. He wonders if he needs to let her go or if that’s the worst possible thing he could do.

He says instead, “This isn’t the end, Scully, I’m not going to let them do this to us. This isn’t over yet.”

She purses her lips and nods, but she doesn’t say anything. He gets the sense that she doesn’t quite agree.

2. It should be the end, Scully thinks. This whole thing, everything that happened after Dallas, it should be a sign. Mulder’s ex-partner and ex-girlfriend has come back, has taken her rightful place on the Files, and Mulder never tried to kiss her again. She feels out of place here, like she is intruding. She doesn’t want it to end—god, she doesn’t want it to end—but she doesn’t know how else it can go, now. Mulder has a new partner, a partner that believes him, and she can move on with her career. She hates even acknowledging these prospects, but it seems to be the situation.

But Mulder won’t let things go. After everything, she probably should’ve expected him not to let things go, but she really thought he would. But he keeps making excuses. Keeps calling her on the Bureau phones and distracting her, asking her to lunch (she starts declining when Diana begins to accompany them, even though Mulder’s face falls every time she does), asking her for opinions on files. (“This is what Diana thinks, Scully, but what do you think?”) He asks her to movies or over to the Gunmen’s for poker night, and the Gunmen make faces whenever he mentions Diana’s name, and she feels a rush of gratitude. On a case in Nevada, Mulder is abducted by a man ordering him to drive west, and Scully follows the story the the news, white-knuckling her coffee mugs and ignoring orders to work, calling Fowley and snapping directions at her over the phone. As soon as Mulder’s safe, she calls him and listens to him tell the story over the phone, his words muted, on the verge of tears. She harbors a quiet fury for Diana’s apparent helplessness, refusal to do anything but send state police after Mulder. She wishes she had been there.

In November, Mulder goes rogue. Apparently he’d gone into the Bermuda Triangle in search of a ghost ship with the assistance of the Gunmen rather than Diana. The Gunmen lose him. Scully pursues the information through the halls of the Bureau. She goes down into the X-Files office and finds it empty; no sign of Diana. The smoker calls down to the office looking for Fowley, telling Scully about the information she’s given to Kersh, but midway through, he realizes that he isn’t talking to Diana, and Scully immediately hangs up. It’s the kind of thing she’s been suspicious of since the summer, but she has no time to pursue it. Skinner gets her the info, and she and the Gunmen race off and fish Mulder out of the ocean. Sitting on the deck of their boat, Mulder stretched out on his back breathing raspily and Scully holding his wet hand in hers, she wonders why Diana didn’t come for him.

In the hospital, he speaks of Nazis and The Wizard of Oz and tells her she saved the world. She looks down on him affectionately and starts to leave so he can rest, but he calls her back. “Hey, Scully?” he calls.

She goes back to the bed and leans close, replying, “Yes?” in a half-serious, half-indulgent voice.

He doesn’t speak for a moment, just looks at her, his eyes dopey with the painkillers. And then he says it, as serious as she’s ever heard him: “I love you.”

Her heart leaps on instinct, with excitement, before she tamps it down. He’s high as a kite, she reminds herself. He’s out of it, and he has a partner. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying. “Oh, brother,” she says, rolling her eyes.

She turns to leave the room again and nearly runs into Diana, a look of panic that she can’t tell whether or not is staged on her face. “Oh my god, Fox,” she says, and Scully can’t stop the grimace moving across her face. She keeps moving, her eyes half-shut.

“Hi, Diana,” she hears Mulder say, sounding a little dismayed. She looks back, in the doorway, in time to see Diana sit on the edge of the bed and Mulder touch the blooming bruise on his cheek, not really looking at her. He looks at Scully instead, something like pleading in his eyes.

She looks away. She leaves the room and pretends that regret isn’t twisting in the pit of her chest. Tomorrow, she tells herself, he’ll have come to his sense.

3. On Christmas Eve, he calls her out to a haunted house. He tells her a ghost story full of tragic, star-crossed love, and she scoffs and rolls her eyes, and it feels just like old times until she says, “Shouldn’t you be bothering your partner with this, Mulder?”

He thinks, You’re my partner, automatically, and even after months of working with Diana, it still feels true. He still misses her. He doesn’t know how to be around Diana, as much as part of him wants things to be the way they were before she left; part of him wants to investigate with Diana and Scully, but the rest of him knows that it is a bad idea. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to handle things here, but mostly, he just knows that he misses Scully. That he wants to work with Scully.

The truth is that Diana couldn’t come even if he wanted her to, because she’s spending Christmas with her father and sisters in Connecticut. “I haven’t seen them since I moved to Europe,” she’d said the other day, and Mulder had thought that was strange because Diana had stayed protective over her father after her mother’s death, on into adulthood. But strange or not, she is in Connecticut. He doesn’t tell Scully that, though, because it doesn’t matter. He’d want her here whether Diana was in town or not. He says instead, “You are my partner, Scully. I don’t care what the FBI says.”

His chest lifts when he sees the corners of her mouth lift in a small smile. She spends Christmas Eve ghost-hunting with him, and gives him a present that he didn’t expect in the early hours of the morning even though they hadn’t discussed presents at all this year.

4. In early January, they send Scully to New York for a case alongside a green, brown-nosing young agent. Kersh indicates that this case may be a chance for her to improve upon her career, and though a part of her feels a loyal pang towards Mulder and the Files at that, the part of her that is filled with rage every time she goes to the basement to meet Mulder and sees the new nameplate—Agent Diana Fowley—on the door hopes that this will be a new chance for her.

That silly, stupid, traitorous hope is squashed after a little while on the case. She realizes that this is an X-File. She denies it at first—Mulder gets ahold of the file somehow, and calls her at the airport, teasing her about how he should be investigating this case along with her—but it becomes more and more undeniable as she keeps digging. Mulder does some digging for her, too, keeps taking her calls. At one point, she asks, “Don’t you and Agent Fowley have a case?” and he simply says, “No.”

He calls her while she is alone with the suspect, Fellig, and she asks him to do some more research for her. Within the next hour, she is sprawled on the floor of Fellig’s apartment, a bullet through her gut. She thinks of a lot of things as Fellig instructs her to close her eyes, as Ritter calls an ambulance. She wonders if anyone will tell Mulder.

—

Later, when she wakes up in the hospital, Mulder is there, sitting at her bedside in a chair. She shouldn’t be so surprised to see him, but she is.

His eyes light up when he sees her, and he seizes one hand in both of his, holding it gently. “Scully,” he whispers, his voice soft and tender; he leans down to press his cheek to her pale knuckles.

“Mulder?” she rasps, still in disbelief. “You came?” She wants to ask, What about the X-Files?—really wants to ask, What about Agent Fowley?—but every word hurts.

His eyes are teary. “Course I did,” he murmurs, and he leans in to kiss her forehead. Her eyes slip close, exhausted and in pain and somehow contented, despite it all.

5. Cassandra Spender reappears, asking for Mulder. Scully gets wind of it by whispers across the bullpen, by passing Jeffrey Spender’s desk on the way to the lunch cart. She convinces Mulder to do it; she feels out of place, considering she’s not his partner anymore, but after nearly a month cozied up on her couch with him watching old movies and eating takeout he’d brought her, she feels more comfortable with him. And anyways, she’s as involved in this conspiracy as he is, had as much reason to see the truth brought to light. She urges him to do it on the basis of answers about her own abduction, and he agrees. She notices that Diana is gone; he tells her that she’s gone to visit her sister in Oklahoma and he can’t get in touch with her.

Cassandra Spender tells them stories of alien colonization and of her own husband’s involvement in it. Mulder invites her down to the X-Files office to do research on the Spenders, though Scully protests that they don’t want them working together. (She’d had to stop making calls to Mulder at the office, stop having lunch with him, at Kersh’s insistence. It almost harkens back to their first separation in 1994; Scully’s almost surprised they’re still hanging out outside of work, instead of being reduced to signals and dark parking garage meetings like before.) As she predicts, they’re quickly caught and she’s threatened with dismissal. Jeffrey Spender claims it’s by request of Agent Fowley, and Scully’s face grows red with anger. She can’t look Mulder in the eye.

Mulder protests that this is ridiculous, that Diana would never, and he’s immediately cut off. Apparently, they’ve gotten tired of the trouble Mulder and Scully have gotten into together. They’re reconsidering Mulder’s position on the Files and within the FBI as well.

It’s revenge, Scully knows, for talking to Agent Spender’s mother, but pointing that out would do no good. They’re both sent home.

Scully knows she should probably just leave things alone, but something inside her doesn’t want to let things go. She knows that Fowley is involved with the men who have done these things to them; she’s suspected it for a long time. So she keeps digging. She shares her research with Mulder, and they pass it on to Skinner. She stays at Mulder’s apartment probably longer than she should, drinking a beer he found at the back of his fridge and trying to figure out whether or not, now that she’s shared her suspicions about CGB Spender, she should share her suspicions about Fowley, when Cassandra bursts in. She wants Mulder to kill her, and for a long moment, Scully is afraid he will. And then, before she knows it, the CDC is bursting in to force them into quarantine. Diana Fowley, fresh back from Oklahoma (or, as Scully suspects, somewhere that is notably not Oklahoma), is on their tails, with an excess of lies that Mulder believes. She lies from Mulder’s apartment to the military base that they’re taken to, and Mulder never stops to question it. He actually seems fucking disappointed in Scully for questioning Diana. And that is the moment when Scully is finished trying to protect his feelings in this whole situation. It’s been obvious to her for months; now she needs to prove it to him.

—

Scully goes to the Gunmen. She’d desperate at this point. She may not be Mulder’s partner anymore, but she is still his friend, and she is not going to let a woman who is likely consorting with the men who abducted and assaulted her continue to manipulate him. They find information that proves every suspicion she’s ever had.

But Mulder doesn’t want to hear it. She tries to make him understand. She gives him evidence of Fowley’s activity in Europe. She points out the convenience of Fowley’s sudden reappearance, of their being partnered on the X-Files. She points out all the convenient times that Diana has been missing, that she has provided little to no help in maintaining the Files. That she is basically sabotaging him from the inside. And Mulder won’t hear it. He scoffs, he waves off their defenses. He says that Scully has given him no reason not to trust Diana, and something in her just snaps. She says, “Well, then I can’t help you anymore.”

“Scully, you’re making this personal,” he says, and every word feels like a slap across the face.

Seething with rage, she says evenly, “Because it is personal, Mulder. Because without the FBI, without the X-Files, personal interest is all that I have. And if you take that away then there is no reason for me to continue.”

She turns and walks away, her heels clacking on the floorboards. For a second, she thinks: This is it. This is when he’s finally going to let me go. And then he catches up to her. He catches her shoulder gently, saying, “Scully, wait.”

She turns on him hard. “Wait for what, Mulder?” she snaps. “We’re not partners anymore.” He flinches immediately, but she doesn’t care; this is the way she’s been feeling since her reassignment. She says, “You want to keep this impersonal? Fine. Speaking from a strictly professional standpoint, I don’t see why you need me anymore. You’ve got the X-Files, and you’ve got a partner who probably believes you, whether she’s working against you or not.” She bites her lower lip, hard, her hands in her pockets. “Where do I fit into that equation?” she asks.

And then she’s gone, slipping out of the Gunmen’s apartment and going down to her car.

6. She gets home and tells herself that it is over now. She’s serious this time. She’s going to stay at home until she hears about whether or not she is keeping her job.

But as she should’ve expected, that plan more or less blows up in her face. Agent Spender calls with information for her. He wants her to intercept the transport of his mother by train at the Potomac yards. Scully is tempted to say no, partially out of not wanting to be involved and partially out of contempt for Jeffrey Spender, but remembering everything she and Cassandra have been through, she finds herself unable to.

Mulder calls her en route to Cassandra. He wants to come pick her up, to go somewhere with him and Diana. She laughs bitterly at that. “That’s not going to happen, Mulder,” she says, teeth gritted. She tells him she is going to find Cassandra. She refuses to come with him. He decides to come with her instead.

Against her better judgement, she decides to go pick him up. For Cassandra, she tells herself. No other reason. They make it to the Potomac yards, but they can’t stop the train. Mulder tells her and Skinner that something bad is about to go down at El Rico Air Base. And by morning, everyone at El Rico Air Base is dead.

Scully goes home. Even after everything case down, after Mulder tries to apologize, she still goes home. She’s tired of the whole thing. After everything, she couldn’t even save Cassandra. She doesn’t want to hear Mulder’s apologies; she can’t do this anymore. She just wants it all to be over.

—

The next morning, she gets a call from Skinner. “Agent Scully, I’m calling to tell you that your suspension had been lifted,” he says solemnly. “And that you’ve been reassigned to the X-Files, by request of Agent Mulder.”

Scully bites down on her lower lip so hard that it bleeds. “Excuse me, sir,” she says, “but I believe that the X-Files are currently at their maximum capacity of agents.”

“I’m afraid they’re not. Agent Fowley requested a transfer,” says Skinner. He clears his throat. “And I’m afraid there’s worse news. Agent Spender’s blood was found all over the office. It will be a while before either of you can begin work.”

Scully grimaces. “That’s horrible. Do they have any idea who did it?”

“No, but I can tell you who Mulder suspects,” Skinner says.

Scully nods, staring at the rug, tears blurring her vision. She knows who he’s talking about, and she’s too exhausted to consider it. It’s been some of the longest few days of her life. And now they’re offering the X-Files back, and she’s not sure that she wants it, after everything that’s happened. At one point, she didn’t, and then she didn’t, and now she doesn’t again. She doesn’t know what to do now. All she really wants is for things to be the way they were before all of this started. Before Diana Fowley came back, before Mulder had essentially rejected her and her trust.

“Is… everything okay, Scully?” Skinner asks on the other end. She sniffles quietly and wipes her eyes; she’d almost forgotten he was there. “I thought this would be good news.”

“I… appreciate you calling to give me the news, sir,” she says quietly. “But I don’t know that I can accept the position.”

Skinner is quiet for a moment on the other end. And then he says, “You know, Mulder’s been making requests for you to be transferred back to the Files since the beginning, you know. The whole time he was partnered with Agent Fowley. He’s been asking to work with you the whole time.”

Her eyes blur further; she’s not sure if she’s grateful or extraordinarily embarrassed that Skinner managed to see through her act, see what she’s been worried about. She thanks Skinner quietly and hangs up quickly, rests her chin on her hand across the arm of the couch. She tries to tell herself it doesn’t mean anything. She tries not to think of her and Mulder on this couch a week ago, her half-asleep and him stroking the bottom of her foot absently from where it lay across his thigh, kissing her hair absently as he left. Of his teary eyes in a hallway last summer as he begged her to stay.

7. He’s at her door by that night. Of course he is. He’s apologizing before she can even get the door all the way open. “I’m sorry,” he says.

She sighs wearily, leaning against the door. “What do you want, Mulder?”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, reaching out to stop her from closing the door, although she’s made no move to close it. “I’m so sorry, Scully. You… you were right. I was an ass, and I’m sorry.”

Her hands clenched harder around the doorknob. She looks at him without saying a word.

“I-I’m sorry that they partnered me with Diana,” he says softly.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she mutters, resentful and remorseful all in the same breath.

He isn’t finished. He begins, “It's… it’s been hard for me to know how to deal with this. Part of me wants things to… to be the way they were before Diana left. She… she meant a lot to me, and it’s tempting to try and look past everything else and just remember what it was like before. But even from the beginning, I… things didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to work without you. I didn’t know how to work without you. I kept making excuses to hang out with you because I missed you so much.”

She looks down, away from him, at the doormat. She doesn’t know how to talk about this. She’s thinking about it, every lunch and mid-day phone call and movie night, and the memories are almost painful. “Mulder…” she says softly.

“You said you didn’t see why I needed you anymore, but I do need you, Scully.” His voice breaks a little. “I always need you. You’re my partner.”

She sniffles. She remembers when, while high off his ass, he told her that he loved her. She’s still not sure she believes him. She says, “You still trust her.”

“I…” He’s hesitating. He reaches out gently to touch her shoulder. “I don’t know anymore, Scully. I trust you. And I should’ve listened to you, and I never should’ve told you that you were making it personal, because it’s always been personal with us.” He rubs a circle along the back of her shoulder, steps a little closer. She doesn’t step away. “I’ve really, really missed you,” he murmurs. “And I’d love to work with you again, if you want.”

She gulps. She lifts her chin a little to meet his eyes. “I missed you, too,” she whispers, the back of her neck reddening.

He squeezes her shoulder. “I… I was wondering if we could talk about things,” he murmurs. “You and me. I was wondering if we could try and work on them.”

She wipes one eyes with the tip of her finger. She takes a deep breath and steps aside in the doorway so he can come in.

[greekowl87]

Really, this isn't an ask. It is a demand. A demand for the sex failure fic from my headcanon. While I take months and/or years to work on my fic, I expect better from everyone else. 😉

@90saolchatroom Trying to finish this drove me crazy and I hope I did it justice. I really, really hope you like it. :) I’d imagine this taking place during “Little Green Men” since some of the lines are from the ep. Sorry for any typos. Tagging @today-in-fic

Mulder and Scully were no longer partners. The higher ups made that perfectly clear.

It had been an odd dance during their brief partnership. She did not know who was leading who. The more she worked with him, Mulder left her feeling odd. There was something she could not quite name. He was obnoxious and endearing at the same time. He valued her opinion, treated her equally…called her Scully when everyone else called her Dana. By the time they shut down the basement office, they found themselves separated and isolated again. In Quantico, her only company was lab reports and the dead. She began to worry about her former partner. Was he okay? Why wouldn’t he reach out to her? When she saw him walking in the hallways and he didn’t reach out, she became worried. Had she become that invisible?

One thing she had learned from him was the cloak and dagger routine. That was how she finally got him to contact her beneath the hotel parking garage by the Watergate. He looked like he had not slept in days and her heartstrings pulled for her former partner. Mulder looked wildly at her and more desperate. She stilled him, catching his hand, as he tried to pace restlessly back and forth.

Mulder sighed. “It’s dangerous for us just to have a little chat, Scully. We must assume we’re being watched.”

“Mulder, I haven’t seen any indication…”

He shook his head. “No, no, of course not. These people are the best.”

What did she have to do to reach out to him? To connect with him. “I’ve taken all of the necessary precautions. I have doubled back over my tracks to make sure that I haven’t been followed and no one has ever followed me. The X-Files have been terminated, Mulder. We have been reassigned. I mean, what makes you think they care about us anymore anyway?”

“So why have you bothered to come here covertly?”

Really? Was he really that obtuse? “Because I realized that it was the only way that you would see me.”

He stared at her as if she had spoken some foreign language and gazed at her as if unsure of what to do. “So what do you want?”

“To know that you’re all right. Mulder, you passed me today within a foot, but you were miles away.”

He gave a hollow laugh.“They’ve got me on electronic surveillance. White-bread cases, bank fraud, insurance fraud, health care swindles.”

“Mulder, I know that you feel… frustrated that without the bureau’s resources, it’s impossible for you to continue…”

“No, it…”

“Well, what then? When the bureau first shut us down, you said that you would go on for as long as the truth was out there. But I no longer feel that from you.”

“What should you feel then, Scully?”

“I don’t know, Mulder. Something. Anything. You believe I am still a spy sent to debunk your work?”

“No. I haven’t believed that since we got back from Bellefleur,” he told her. He squatted against the wall in defeat. “You aren’t a spy.”

She felt that snap of electricity again since she first realized what it was on the way back from back to Bellefleur. Tentatively, she reached out and touched his forearm. The touch went unnoticed and feeling still annoyed about him ignoring her earlier that day, she squeezed his forearm, instantly drawing his attention. As if sensing the shift in the parking garage, he licked his lips as if trying to form a word.

“Stop acting like you are all by yourself on this, Mulder.”

“I feel like a fool, Scully. Crazy Spooky Mulder screaming at the sky with no one listening.”

Scully sat back on her heels and took his hand. “Let’s go somewhere tonight. You come with me and we have fun. You look like you could use a drink.”

“I don’t want a drink, Scully. I don’t want to do anything…”

“One drink won’t kill you.”

She dragged him to his feet. “And you can tell me more about how you enjoy screaming at the sky…”

Mulder let her drag him to his feet like a broken toy and she wrapped her arm around his waist and he looked at her surprised at the gesture. “Sorry,” she whispered. Her cheeks were flushed.

He eyes looked at her tenderly and he wiped a stray lock from her cheek. “It’s fine.”

Reluctantly and almost awkwardly, she let her arm drop. “Besides, if they were watching us now,” she continued, trying to justify her excuse to go out, “a dive bar will be the last place they would think of.”

“It’s okay, Scully. I agreed.” He was quiet as they walked. They exited out of the parking garage and onto the streets of D.C. They walked together in silence, closely as if personal space had no meaning, and into one of D.C.’s less reputable bars. “It is nice to see you as well, Scully,” he added as an afterthought.

She gave a weak smile in response.

They navigated to a booth in the back of the room. A cocktail waitress took their order and brought two Shiner Bocks. Mulder shed his trenchcoat and pulled loose his tie. Scully took off her own jacket and sat stiffly on the leather bench. He stretched and threw his arms on the back of the booth, his left hand precariously close to her shoulder. She could feel the tips of his fingers grazing the edge of her jacket. The physical closeness still unnerved her but Scully had grown used to it, however, tonight felt different.

“Even though we have both established I am not a spy and the office is shut down doesn’t mean you have to go live in exile, Mulder.” She sipped her beer tentatively. “You still have a friend.”

“That’s touching, Scully,” he scoffed. “Where did they send after they shut me down?”

“I think you mean us, Mulder,” she mumbled. She cleared her throat. “Back to Quantico.”

“Back to Quantico,” he repeated. “And where did they send me?”

Scully remained quiet. She knew they stuck him in a new hole to transcribe countless hours of audio tape as punishment. No one wanted anything to do with Spooky Mulder except her. “Well,” she started, trying to break the tension, “at least you are saving on rent.”

Mulder narrowed his eyes and she swallowed another swig of beer, uncertain of his reaction before he chuckled and rolled his eyes. She saw the tension and stress from the past few days washed away as he slouched further back in the booth. “I don’t know, Scully. I still miss the cattle mutilation slides.” He licked his lips as his hazel eyes flicked over her. “And the company.”

“I agree with the company. I could do without the cattle slides. I do miss whatever it is we do when we talk.”

“Verbal sparring?”

“Something like that. It’s good to see you, Mulder.”

“You too, Scully.”

“I could say the same.”

Hours crawled slowly by but to Mulder and Scully, aided by the beers, time seemed to fly. By then, Mulder’s arm had found itself around her shoulders and she noticed how comfortable she was sitting beside him, barely touching. Scully hiccupped and looked at her watch. “I…I should get going.”

“You are in no mood to drive tonight,” he declared.

“Mulder, I don’t need a chivalrous knight. I need a taxi. And a hot bath.”

“Just make me feel better. Come and spend a few hours at my apartment and sleep it off. Then you can get a taxi. I’ll even leave you money.”

She smiled indulgently, her fingers crawling up his arm flirtatiously. “What happened to they’re watching us? Electronic surveillance, Mulder.”

Mulder suddenly felt braver and smiled. “Must be all the cloak and dagger you started earlier tonight. Maybe you are a spy. Come on, Scully. Amuse me. We can even play truth or dare if you want.”

“No, Mulder.” She sighed and saw the pouting lips. How could she say no to that face? “Fine, but just for a few hours.”

He put a couple of 20 dollar bills on the table and the two former FBI agents left and disappeared into the night. She laughed at something he said. Mulder let his fingers lightly graze hers and to his utter surprise, she took it. Something was changing between them. As they arrived at his apartment, she shed her coat and sat on his worn leather couch. He followed behind her, taking off his suit jacket as well, and collapsed on the couch next to her.

Scully could feel the intensity of Mulder’s gaze to the point she started to blush. “What?”

He bent forward and pushed away a stray lock of red hair and kissed her neck slowly. She stiffened and he rubbed her thigh gently in an effort to get her to relax.

“Mulder, what are you doing?”

“Hm. Checking in on you. Returning the favor.”

Her body was betraying her as she felt something began to awaken. Despite the tension she felt, she did began to relax and focus on the Mulder’s soft lips. “Mulder, we shouldn’t…”

His kissing grew more insistent as she felt her own body take control and her brain and heart become spectators in what was happening. He leaned heavily against her so that she had to lay down onto the couch to accommodate him. His hands began to unbutton her suit jacket and blouse. His rough fingertips felt the soft fabric of her bra and she drew in a sharp breath.

“Scully, you smell divine,” he murmured.

“Mulder,” she tried again.

He kissed her deeply, silencing any protests that she may have. Again, her body had forsaken her as she ran her fingers through Mulder’s hair and deepened the kiss. What was it about him? She knew that the electricity and chemistry between them had existed but she never thought it could lead to this point. For as second, she panicked and worried about Bureau protocol and any implications it could have.

“Who is gonna care,” he murmured. He tenderly kissed on the breast while his free hand palmed the other. “We don’t work together anymore.”

As she helped him get rid of her blouse, her own hands began to pull at his own dress shirt as her brain began to reply what he had just said. Who is gonna care, he had taunted, We don’t work together anymore. Taunted? Mulder didn’t taunt. He would not consider her some one night stand. If he was proceeding this, with her consent, it meant some more. Or did it? Her mind had blacked out for a second because the next thing she knew was that he was desperately tearing at a condom wrapper with his teeth in a rushed effort to tear it off and here she was, half naked on his leather couch about to get it. She should be happy. Joyous even because she had heard the rumors and how attractive the vast majority of female agents and sectaries found Mulder.

“Scully,” he breathed with the foil between his teeth, “a little help? Lift your hips.”

A ringing telephone interrupted them as both stared quietly as it went to the answering machine. “Mmmm…Marty, it’s Veronica,” a sultry voice crackled against the heavy air. “It’s been awhile. I miss you and uh, our lovely chats at little green men…”

Mulder reached up and ripped the phone off the hook and stared at Scully. “Scully, it’s not what you think.”

At this point, her mind having finally caught up with her body, she buttoned her blouse and began to gather her things. “It’s none of my business, Mulder,” she said slowly, lowering her gaze, “with what you do with your, uh, spare time.”

“Scully.” Her lowered gaze made him suddenly feel like an ass. What the hell had he been thinking? “Sure. Fine. Whatever. Be that way.”

“It’s clear we are probably meant to be just…”

“Work acquaintances,” he fished. “Got it.”

“No. No, Mulder. Friends. Maybe. One day.”

“We are…” He groaned in frustration. “We are friends, Scully. We are…”

“Just friends. I get it, Mulder. I get it.” She took a deep breath and gathered her trench coat. “Just the type of friends that hang out for a beer maybe or call on if you need an autopsy or follow on wild goose chases. I get it. I’m there if you need something. My mistake.”

“Scully, let me explain. Veronica, she…I have never even met her in person!”

She shook her head, already embarrassed enough. It was clear this would have been nothing than a one night stand between them. “Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay? We can still be work friends or whatever. Don’t be a stranger, Mulder.”

“Are you that blind? Scully, this is a misunderstanding!”

“Good night, Mulder.”

She gathered her jacket and slipped out the apartment door and into the night, vowing if what had just happened had not destroyed their relationship, she would still try to salvage any semblance of a partnership by pretending this night never happened. If he wanted a friend, she would be his friend and chase him to whatever he went because that is what she would do for her friends.