#but I'll gradually repost them all later on

[absolutemimery]

[repost] 600 days of being infatuated with this guy

ref pic

[athensandspartaadventures]

What kind of things would you want to have done differently, regarding storytelling, character designs, personalities, interactions etc on your comic?

All of these thoughts are sort of documented in the comments on each page as I had reposted them here, I can't really be much more detailed than that because I don't actually know where the entire story is going as a whole if that makes sense? the problem with dwelling on that sort of thought process is 1. I don't want to overlook the fact that this was originally created as a study comic and I had specific constraints on my time and abilities both academically and artistically and 2. what is posted online is basically the second draft of a rough draft that was for passing an exam rather than telling a story, I think a third draft would have to overhaul that purpose entirely and I would rather just let it grow organically and see where it takes me. (This is something that is actually quite common in webcomics historically, and I think the rise of these polished professional webtoons is kind of challenging that right now as comics become more accessible.)

Like, as a small-yet-big example, I am still struggling with whether I want to keep the character of Greece. I drew her when she was only mentioned in text and never in art back in ye-olde Hetalia days, so in a sense she is a fan-character. Now that she has a canon design in Hetalia, now that I feel so far removed from the source material I don't know whether I want to affiliate the work with Hetalia or not, I have to consider other things like "does she have a narrative role in the story beyond just tying it to that source and if so, what is it and where is it going". This is a question I'm actually hoping to answer more in chapter 9, but it's also one of my biggest hurdles that is blocking my writing process because I have been gradually changing the nature of the story as I learn more, it's a reflection of my personal growth.

I hope that makes sense, I am constantly re-reading things and thinking about how I would do them differently in everything I do, not just this silly comic, and it gets to the point where I get so hung up on it I forget that it's just an impulse from a different version of me in a different version of time, and I think it's more productive to push on with what I have and clean it up later when I figure out what I really want to say! and that might be different 5-10 year from now than it was all the way back in 2011, or 2015, or today. I never would have even imagined the stuff I wrote recently back then, so I would rather just push on and look back to see how far I've come rather than nitpick things I want to do differently in the moment. If things change, I'll make the changes now/later and worry about the continuity with the old stuff later.

[luvnyx]

Strangers in the night

Pairing: Todoroki Shoto x Reader

Genre: fluff

Pronouns: they / them

Word count: 900+

Summary: Thunderstorms threaten to ruin a perfect plan, or perhaps it's a turn for something even better?

Warnings: food mention (slight?)

The brewing storm chased the young couple inside a tiny café, the warmth welcoming and soothing their shivering forms as they tried to catch their breath.

The sight before them was quite amiable yet a whiff of gloominess seemed to linger.

Vacant chairs and tables gave off a forlorn feeling, seeming to silently listen to the dying melody sang by the radio somewhere in the corner before getting violently silenced by infrequent thunders. Dark ceiling lights illuminated the melancholic scene as raindrops sparkled against the windows under them.

An elderly woman with a sympathetic aura glanced at her almost drenched customers as he wrapped an oversized coat around his partner, gently seized their hands together with his and blew warm air between the small gap of their palms.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!", you chuckled, trying to playfully escape from his grasp.

"You're still shaking all over.", frowned Todoroki as you felt the comforting warmth increase gradually in your arms, before he cupped your flushed cheeks.

"Stop that-!", you fumbled upon your words, taking flustered gazes at the old woman smiling at the antics of the youngsters.

"Take a seat, dear. I'll get some towels.", her kind voice spoke, laced with a certain delicacy.

"I'm sorry about this", began Todoroki, breaking the silence as you two settled down beside a window pane.

"You don't control the weather, you know?", you amused, gently rubbing circles with your thumb on the back of his hand.

"Still..", he trailed off, observing the view through the pane, allowing his mind to drift off into the gales for a while as he dried himself up with a towel.

Cool hues of dark blues and dots of pastel purples painted the skies, occasional lightnings and thunders lit up cotton candy clouds, it was a heavenly picture, truly, but there's terror in beauty, too.

Despite her elegance, she seemed to possess dark desires, a secret that she seemed to take to her grave; brutally downpouring on everything and anything she sees, flaunting her strength and marvel at all those who witness, wrecking havoc as admirers showered her with praise and adoration, oddly enough, she reminded him of a certain someone.

"And what may I get you, dear?", the elderly's soft voice cut through his thoughts, snapping him out of his reverie.

"oh, I'll have a zaru soba.", he requested, hearing a giggle from you, classic Todoroki.

"Don't worry, we could go to that restaurant some other day", you assured him, studying his slightly dejected features.

"oh no, it's not that" he started off, "I'm happy to be anywhere as long as it's with you", he added thoughtfully, oblivious to you slightly choking on your drink as you tried to regain composure, ".. I had a few plans in mind that I thought you might like", he sighed, slightly pondering.

"We just have to improvise! It's not like the storm is going to last forever", you beamed, waiting for light drizzles and sun rays to peek through the curtains.

Hours seemed to dwindle down to minutes, a faint babble between naive lovers filled the air before hushed raindrops replaced them, the aged waitress would often attempt a friendly conversation with a peculiar interest to know about a world quite unknown to her, reminiscing about the simpler days washed away with time before excusing herself back to her waiting tasks.

"hey, look", you pointed at the murky window, slowly wiping it; the rainfall left a bittersweet picture for their eyes, small puddles reflected the sombre starless sky above before drops caused ripples, distorting the clear image, street lights flickered to life, revealing lonely streets with a few stationary vehicles and brightly lit shops for company.

".. Come with me", he whispered, eyes immersed on the other side as he got up, softly squeezing your hand.

"hold on, where to-", you asked hesitantly, startled by the sudden decision as he directed you towards the exit.

Footsteps echoed on the sidewalk, rhythmically resonating with drops drumming on rooftops and idle chirps of birds nestling close to each other on pastoral trees as he pulled you closer to his chest, a small smile playing against his lips, calmly placing your arms around his neck, feeling your timid heart skip a beat.

"wait, someone might-", you faltered, a dawning realisation that curious eyes might be indulging in your innocent foolishness.

"calm down, it's alright", he hushed in a tone so unfazed by such notions, swaying your feet deliberately with his movements as he drowned himself in your alluring orbs, a wish to never come up for precious air clinging onto him.

You let out a sigh of relief, allowing him to puppeteer your pliable body and mind, drifting into euphoria with the sound of heels clicking against the pavement and puddles, the tender feeling of falling drops on your eyelids, cheeks and lips.

The picturesque spectacle would not be complete with the absence of any element in your long forgotten surroundings, a fact you realised a little later while recollecting this memory which you often confused for a dream. Though hazy since every logical reasoning seemed to leave at the moment, you almost feel like you got a glance at the little café in the corner, gleaming through the lurking darkness, the waitress sweeping, humming a tune of a song from a lost night as she caught the dancing dolls twirling under the glimmering light with her numb eyes glinting from her withered and wrinkled skin, and for a moment, even if just for a moment, she found herself in the days she left astray, as a weak laughter echoed from the dull four walls, gazing at the strangers in the night.

a/n: woo guess who's back~ it's been so longg since I wrote so I apologise for this being kinda bad, it's sort of a drabble + one shot I think? do forgive my grammatical errors, English isn't my first language :')

thank you so much for reading!! Do tell me what you think! Comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated, friendly criticism is always welcome! Have a great day ahead! ʕ•̫͡•ʔ♡

luvnyx © 2021 | All rights reserved | Please refrain from reposting, editing and translating

[zxddy-panther]

Blessed

A/N: Hey guysss! I really feel so bad for not writing at all but I finally have something out for you guys. For all those who are still wondering, yes I am still going to write my Summer Walker inspired BP series. I just have to get all these drafts posted for yall before I post them. This one kind of took a while so I hope you all enjoy it. Also if you want to read all my stories I do have a masterlist posted but all my works are on my wattpad (@zxddy_panther)

Erik X Black!reader

Summary: A breakup between you and Erik has led you both into a deep hole of despair but there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warning: Self harm, depression, some fluff later on

 You wandered the rainy streets of Albany with your dark hoodie, walking slowly in despair. Body slouched and face drooping with sorrow, your mind replaying the moments of weeks ago. The yelling, the harsh words, the tears, and worst of all: the breakup. The relationship truly wasn't bad but you woke up to the harsh reality that it was you. It was your own mind that was pressuring you to believe things that weren't true, that weren't real. It ultimately broke your relationship and you had no one to blame but yourself. It has become your biggest and deepest regret letting him go because you truly did love this man.    

You loved Erik Stevens but you just didn't know if he loved you too.      

*****    

The key allowed access to your cold, dark apartment as you tracked your wet rain boots onto your floor. You slipped them off and set them near the door and headed towards the bathroom, ready to commit yourself to the same miserable regime. Turning on the lights and looking forward, you stared into the eyes of a now lost soul. You were disgusted by the person in the mirror because THEY ruined your conscience. THEY ruined your self esteem and THEY ruined your relationship but you soon realized that they.....is you. Your eyes welled with tears as you threw off your damp sweater and opened the drawer under the sink. Grabbing the razor you quickly put it against the skin of your arm and pulled back with speed. Your actions slowed as you watched the dark red blood begin to rise up from the long cut along your brown skin. A numb feeling washed over you as you continued the motion over and over and over again. Place, push, and drag. Place, push, and drag.

You looked down at your numb and bloody arm with tears streaming down your face. Tear drops fell onto the many wounds and made you hiss in pain. "I've gotta get this shit cleaned up" you thought. Your body makes its way towards the bathtub to fill it with warm water. After you removed all your clothes you looked at yourself once more in the mirror. The now scarred lines that ran across your thighs and your new stripes shone red all across your arm. This will always remind you that you deserved this. Your head slowly turned back to the tub that was done filling up, you headed towards it. Placing one leg after another into the bath water, you allowed yourself to completely submerge yourself in the liquid and drowned yourself in utter silence.    

*******    

Its been about 40 minutes since you started staring at the ceiling fan in your room just mindlessly thinking. You felt so empty and physically drained from all the tears and emotions that you have been letting out. A silent buzzing from your phone woke you from your trance. You rolled on your bed towards your night stand and grabbed the phone to check who was calling you. The caller ID read: Erik. Everything froze and your world stood completely still. You were shocked and had no idea what to do as your hands shook frantically. The vibrating stopped and you took a look at your phone again to see that you had 10 missed calls from him prior to this. "How did I not hear this?" you thought to yourself. "Do I call him back?" The ring quickly started back up and you hit the answer button as fast as you could. Putting the phone to your ear, you took a deep breath and spoke for the first time in weeks.    

"Hello?" you whispered. All that could be heard was ragged breathing on the other line. You sat and listened, waiting for any type of response.    

A hushed "Y/N?" came from the other side. Your eyes shot opened and your heart rate increased.    

"Yes Erik...."    

"Y/N.." you waited. "I-I need you please. Im freaking out baby please come back I cant do this without you. I need you here with me Y/N. Please come back to me."    

You quickly ended the call and shot up from your bed. Throwing on some clothes, you headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your car keys.    

*******      

You arrived at Erik's door step feeling crazy for even doing this. You fumbled with your keys to find his spare house key still attached. Inserting the key into the lock, turning it, and pushing the door open you were greeted with a body curled up in corner of the living room. Erik was rocking himself back and forth, sobbing, repeatedly saying your name. You used your foot to close the door and his head shot up.    

He looked just as tired and drained as you. His once beautifully braided locs were now frizzed and out of braids. Dark brown bags surrounded his eyes as if he hasn't slept for days. You slowly walked towards him while he rose to his feet. The two of you kept your distance, standing awkwardly in the middle of his living room, until his eyes met yours. When your eyes locked it was like your emotions were also in sync with one another. You watched his eyes start to well up and his face begin to distort as he tried to hold his tears back. Closing the distance, you began to walk towards him and cupped your hand on his cheek. His eyes slowly closed as he leaned into your touch, allowing his tears to finally fall.    

"Baby..." he let out. "I-I need you in my life. Its like I-I." His hands began to shake as he brought them up, clenching his fists." Its like I cant live without you Y/N. I don't want to live without you." He looked down and quickly grabbed your hands to hold. "What happened? What happened to us? Was it me? Because if it was I swear to Bast that I'll fix it just- just give me another chance" The volume of his voice started to pick up. "Please come back to me Y/N." His hands gradually rose up to grab your arms softly but, even his gentle touch caused great pain to your wounds. You snatched your arms away and hissed in pain. He looked up at you with a confused look plastered on his face.       

Erik had a feeling to what was going on but, he just didnt want to belive it. You promised him months ago that you wouldn't revert back to hurting yourself. He prayed that he was wrong but  lifting up your sleeves revealed the harsh red lines across your arms. He closed his eyes as more tears fell from his droppy eyes.    

"Y/n. Did I do this to you?" He brought his hand up to your face and brushed your tear away with his thumb.     

"No no. It wasnt you Erik. It was never you." You decided that it was time to let him know the truth. The weight that you've been carrying on your shoulders has gotten heavy enough.    

*********    

"Y/N...Im sorry. I shouldnt have left-" You placed a finger over his lips which stopped his words. Your eyes took him in again once more. His skin and lips still as soft as you remembered. The message was clear as day when the two of you locked eyes. Erik took your face in his hands once and placed his lips on yours. Both of your lips moved in sync while tears came streaming down your faces. He slowly sucked on your bottom lip and let out a small sigh. He missed this. He missed you.    

You pulled away for breath but held fast to his body.      

"No Erik. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like this. That I made you feel like this was all your fault when it wasn't. It was mine. I was always so insecure about how you truly felt about me and-" Tears started to choke you up but this time you let them fall. You were so tired of holding back your feelings and thoughts. "And I always felt like you didn't love me as much as I love you."    

The phrase replayed itself in his mind. This was the first time that anyone had said that they loved him. His troubled past had put him in the mindset that he could never be loved. Today was the day that he was finally proven wrong. He always knew that he had a great girl who always found time to see him, even in the worst circumstances. Someone who was always down for him, and someone who would never leave his side.

You heard him begin to chuckle as his smile spread across his face. You looked up at him confused, feeling stupid for confessing your deepest feelings.    

"Whatever Erik" You began to turn away from him and started heading towards the door until he grabbed your hand, pulling you back into his chest. He looked down at you while resting his hand on the small of your back. His dark ember eyes starred deeply into yours, unraveling you as you stood.    

"If only you knew how much I love you. I'm so blessed to have you in my life but I need you to know that-" He brought his face closer to yours, looking from your lips to your eyes. " I love you more than words can say."    

(Please message/repost to let me know if you want to be on the taglist because im still tagging random people :/ )

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