#but I feel like that's a very important distinction haha

[savebatsfromscratch]

Oh be serious Gary - Palletshipping Week 3 (Jealousy)

Summary:

Gary runs into Ash after his Orange Islands journey. Unfortunately, Ash’s new walking partner is there too.

Notes:

Prompt: Jealousy This hurt me to write. I LOVE Tracey and Tracey x Ash, and I think Gary and Tracey would be besties, but if I see whump I write whump. >:) Cws: Canon divergence, jealousy, angst with no happy ending, suggestive joke Words: 2,024 (HA)

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54853867

As Gary watched the two traveling partners laugh, he felt something not so unexpected suddenly burn in his chest. Hot, hot jealousy. Furious enough to even rival the flaring fire that was shooting through the fangs of his rival’s Chrizard. Now tall and shining, the creature could have easily surpassed almost any of Gary’s own Pokemon, and he knew it.

Gary hadn’t seen Ash in quite a while now, and though it was clear that he must have spent some time training his annoyingly tough looking Charizard into one that actually obeyed, Gary wasn’t naive enough to think that that was the only thing he’d been spending his time doing. Gary’s hands balled up into fists as he watched Ash lean against that new traveling partner, practically begging to get punched as the two rubbed their shoulders together. (As usual, Ash had to stand on his tiptoes to even reach.)

Who did this new guy think he was, anyway?! Happily parading around the Kanto region with Gary’s rival as if they’d been the ones to promise forever rivalry to each other. As if they’d been the ones starting as “friends” from the start.

Gary ducked behind a tree to watch as the small group made their way away from the dock and headed towards the more traditional route to Pallet town. Misty was lagging behind slightly as she played with a very excitable looking Togepi. (Had Gary seen it before? Ash had been away for so long he could hardly remember. And, besides, even if he had, their meetings even before Ash’s rendezvous in the Orange Islands had been getting so few and far between that Gary had probably spent as much of the most recent one as he could just eying up his rival.)

Had he really known what it would mean when Ash went to the Orange League without him? Why hadn’t he gone along for the ride?

Gary narrowed his eyes as Ash hugged the new guy, burying his face in the green shirt of his walking partner like no one else at all was around. Maybe “ride” was a more appropriate descriptor than Gary had hoped.

He inched a little closer as the two stopped, waiting for a moment for Misty to catch up with them.

“Glad she didn’t see that,” Ash’s friend was whispering out of the corner of his mouth, “What was it that you said she did whenever Brock would flirt?”

Ash laughed, and though it was a clear and happy sound, Gary just felt sick to his stomach. Brock? Had he too been an option for Ash before Gary was? (And if so, why should he be so surprised about it? He just had to look at what he was seeing to understand a whole new side to Ash.)

“Tracey!” (so that was his name) Ash shook his head, “Brock was so much worse than you, and she never slapped him for flirting with me,” he paused, though the blood that pounded in Gary’s ears made his next words near unhearable, “At least as far as I saw…”

“Guys!” Misty called, running the last couple of steps to reach her friends, “Where are we going next?”

“Professor Oak’s Lab, right?” Ash said, somewhat unsure. He paused, and Gary suddenly realized that his cheating rival was thinking about him as he added, “There’s people I want to see there,”

“Professor Oak?” Tracey interrupted, his voice so full of wonder and excitement that Gary actually felt ill. This Tracey guy was even worse than Gary had first assumed. Gary rolled his eyes as Tracey continued to ramble about supposed “great feats” of research that the Professor had accomplished. If he was really any lover of Ash, he should have known that one of the only really commendable things Professor Oak did that hadn’t been done before or better by another researcher was his constant cheering on of Ash. (To tell the truth, Gary had recently been finding more and more respect in what his grandfather did for a living, but the childish excitement of this green haired nobody was quickly erasing those feelings. Such weak wonders paled under the crushing weight of Gary’s jealousy.)

“Should we fly there then, if you’re so excited to see him?” Ash laughed, gesturing to his Charizard, who looked like he was thoroughly enjoying being back in the forests of the mainland. Ash paused, and Gary would have been stupid to miss a hint of longing in his voice, as he said, “He’s the grandfather of my first rival, you know.”

First rival, was that all he was? (At the very least, Gary could be glad that Tracey stiffened with a hint of his own jealousy at that.)

“Oh yeah, Ash,” Misty interrupted, either not noticing Tracy’s discomfort or ignoring it, “Have you been keeping in touch with Gary?”

There was a quick, awkward pause, which Ash tried (and failed) to cover by picking up Pikachu. “Um,” he struggled, while Gary scoffed to himself. Of course he hadn’t. “Well-,”

“Ash!” Misty gasped, somewhat appalled, though to Gary’s displeasure Tracey looked downright relieved. 

That couldn’t possibly do. In a split second, Gary knew what he had to do. Even if it protected his unreliable rival, so long as he made Tracey upset, he was happy.

“Of course he did!” Gary interrupted Misty right before she began one of her tirades, stepping out of the trees and smirking at Ash, who looked somewhere between nauseous and relieved to see him. “Didn’t you, Ashy boy?”

Honestly, even he couldn’t tell if his tone was threatening or flirty, but either way it seemed to work, at least, if Tracey’s unconscious hiss was any indication of how he was feeling.

“Were you listening in on us?!” Tracey asked, almost accusingly, “Is that why you come up so much? Because you might be behind us?”

Gary narrowed his eyes, but his smirk did not falter. He was liking this guy less and less by the second, clearly he had been right in popping up to annoy him. And as for Ash…

Gary turned to his rival, completely ignoring the question as he drank in the expression of utter embarrassment on Ash’s face. Oh yes, this was what he lived for.

“I’m glad to see you again!” He said cheerily, pulling Ash into a hug that copied the way Ash and Tracey had embraced before. (To his surprise, Ash actually hugged back, and though it was faint, Gary’s face twitched in surprise. Despite everything, it truly seemed that Ash really had wanted to see Gary again.)

Gary pulled back, suddenly unsure.

“Do you need a guide?” he asked, and then, once he realized how pathetically unsure he sounded, he added, “You were away for so long I thought you might have forgotten the way to my place,”

Ash made an awful whimpering sound, and Gary felt his smirk widen even further, even as Misty scoffed and interrupted him.

“Oh be serious Gary,” she said (Gary turned to see that her hand was resting comfortingly on Tracey’s shoulder), “Any Pallet Trainer worth their starter knows the way to the lab, and besides…” She narrowed her eyes, “You don’t even live there, you’re a trainer like the rest of us,”

Gary opened his mouth to speak, looking on as one of Tracey’s hands twitched slightly, but Ash grabbed Gary’s shoulder, catching him off guard as he dug his fingernails in. “Um,” he interrupted, “Excuse us,”

Before Gary could even protest, Ash was dragging him away and into the woods, leaving the sounds of Tracey mumbling in shock and Misty quietly comforting him behind them.

Once they were relatively out of earshot, Ash spun around and glared up at Gary. He felt his heart skip a beat, while Gary had grown in the time Ash had taken on the Orange League, Ash had not, but even so, the anger in his now black eyes made Gary take a shocked step back.

“What is wrong with you?!” He spat, though Gary just stared back at him, shocked, “Do you think everything is about you? Who do you think you are?! You don’t own me you know!”

Gary opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He closed it again.

“Answer me, come on,” Ash commanded, still angry, “I know how smart you are, I know you have an answer, so give it to me!”

Gary tried again, but again nothing came out. Cold wind rustled through the trees.

“Gary…” Ash said, surprising Gary with a sudden shift into pleading, “Please…”

“I-,”

Ash looked up at him, his eyes faded back from coal black to soft brown. Gary swallowed hard. He had to say it. There was no way around it.

“I- I love you,”

His words hung in the air like an awful smell, Ash’s eyes widened as their color darked again.

Gary’s heart sped up. He wasn’t wanted here. He had to get out of here. He turned, hot tears suddenly threatening to spill down his face, but Ash’s voice stopped him. Quiet at first, and then growing louder and more confident as he went on.

“You know,” he murmured, “I never could forget you,”

“Oh come on Ash,” Gary could tell that he was pleading as he spoke, but he didn’t care, “Don’t lie to me, you don’t have to-,”

“No, I mean it,” Ash said, almost scared, but more confident now, “I was only out of the region for a year, but I never stopped thinking about you,” He began to pace, twigs crunching and cracking up his feet, “I know it’s not right, but I can’t help it,”

He stopped, and there was a pause as the distant roar of Ash’s Charizard echoed through the woods. Pikachu purred as Ash scratched behind his ears, clearly trying to calm himself down more than he was working to quiet the little yellow Pokemon.

“What about Tracey?” Gary whispered, dreading the answer.

Ash stopped petting Pikachu, and closed his eyes like looking at Gary hurt him. “I think I love him,” he said, voice shaky and weak again, “But you- I-,”

He stopped.

“I what?” Gary breathed, stepping forward and reaching up, stopping right before grabbing Ash’s hand, “What do you mean?”

Ash’s voice was still shaking when he finally responded.

“I think I love you too,” His eyes were pleading.

Gary’s hand dropped to his side. His mind racing and spinning through emotions and memories. Anger? Jealousy? Relief? Joy? What was he feeling?

What was he feeling?

“So. What now? What now that you’re back here?” Gary asked, his voice now so soft that it surprised even him, “Back in Kanto, what will you do?”

Ash took in a shaky breath, and brushed a hand through his hair. “I want to keep adventuring, I have more league to win,”

“With Tracey?” Gary breathed

“He said he wants to stay,”

“With where?”

“I don’t know,”

“Will you go with me?”

“You’re my rival, I can’t do that,”

Gary bit his lip. How had this become so complicated?

“So what are you going to do?” He asked, fearing an answer for the second time that conversation, “Traveling alone isn’t safe,”

“I don’t know,” Ash was almost whispering, looking at the forest floor with sad eyes. His gaze hardened, and the brown left his eyes once more. “But it can’t be without you, you know that,”

Gary froze, though he’d known it was coming. “Ash, please,” He reached out, but Ash brushed his hand away.

“Come on Pikachu,” Ash murmured, not meeting Gary’s eyes as he began to walk away, “Let’s get back to the others,”

Gary’s knees shook as he watched him go. What was going on? He couldn't just leave like that! It had been so long since they had seen each other, this couldn't be their reunion, there was no way! But Ash's words rang in Gary's head. “You don't own me,” he had said.

He knew that, didn't he? 

Didn't he?

This time, Gary waited until Ash was out of earshot before he crumpled to his knees and began to cry.

Notes:

Palletshipping angst save me… Save me Palletshipping angst…

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

[gontagokuhara]

i couldnt get to sleep last night so i saw this one in my email as it came in and its just. kisses it. frames it. it has broken down all my defenses

serious note: this is exactly the kind of feedback that genuinely is really encouraging, because not only am i having fun writing it — people are having fun reading it! i’m really proud of pointy objects, but it being enough to convince multiple people (!) to want to read the source material because they like my interpretation so much. sobbies into my hands this is def the kind of comment i save and reread because it makes me happy. thank u 🫶

[markantonys]

i've got to put out an attempt to spread the good word of wheel of time to some of my new rings of power followers!

are you hankering for a new fantasy show to fill the void of ROP? look no further than wheel of time! it's also on amazon prime and is something of a sister-show to ROP. there are 2 seasons out currently, and season 3 is in post-production and slated to release sometime in 2025.

here's what WOT is about:

in a world that has reincarnation, rosamund pike's character who has been described as lesbian gandalf learns that an apocalyptic figure called "the dragon" who broke the world 3000 years ago has been reborn as a new person. accompanied by her platonic work-husband to whom she's psychically bonded, she narrows her search down to 5 potential candidates, a group of 20-somethings from the same little village. the group embarks on a quest to figure out which one of them is the dragon reborn, but even the ones who are not the dragon have nevertheless been chosen out by fate to have their own remarkable powers and key roles in deciding the fate of the world.

here's what makes WOT similar to ROP:

multiple-storyline ensemble show with a variety of personalities among the main characters, so you'll be sure to find Your Blorbo in somebody (and there's a pretty big variety among the fandom of who everyone's faves are, which goes to show how good ALL the characters are!)

epic fantasy that earnestly and wholeheartedly embraces its genre and the inherent whimsy and fantasticalness therein, without acting like it's embarrassed about having fantasy elements or like it considers itself too good and too prestige for the genre

it has some truly dark and harrowing stuff, but it never feels like it's gratuitous/just for shock value and never descends into cynical grimdark territory. it centers on the importance of hope and togetherness to fight against evil (tolkien was a primary inspiration for the WOT books' author robert jordan, so some of the vibes and themes are similar)

incredibly in-depth worldbuilding and world history

gorgeous costumes, sets, scenery, soundtrack, and production value. i could wax poetic about the soundtrack all day but will restrain myself and just say that it's a similar approach as ROP of specific character themes rearranged ad infinitum to suit the tone of different scenes and that it has a very unique soundscape that stands out from traditional orchestral fantasy. the costumes, especially in the second season, are some of the most unique and distinctive i've ever seen in a fantasy show, using lots of sharp/modern silhouettes to evoke a different feel from your standard medieval-inspired fantasy costumes. and vibrant colors!!!

absolutely Perfect casting across the board, with every actor from the most seasoned veterans to the newest-comers delivering wonderful performances, embodying their characters perfectly, and clearly having the time of their life making this show.

major character recast between s1 and s2 haha but like with adar, both mat actors are wonderful and it's impossible to wish one was the other while watching their respective performances.

Wholesome Boy Besties, and overall a lack of toxic masculinity and a total comfort with letting men be tender and kind and emotional (in fact, i'd say WOT does even better at this than ROP)

mesmerizing villains who run the gamut from tragic to Sexy Fun Evil to straight-up bonechilling (oftentimes multiple categories all rolled into the same villain). what if sauron was a sexy sexy lady whose top hobbies were serving cunt and gaslighting her boytoy? watch wheel of time to find out.

on that note, what would you get if you took the toxic hero/villain/villain polyeroticism of galadriel/sauron/adar, dialed it up to 11, and made it borderline canon that they used to be in a throuple that ended badly? one of the major dynamics of WOT s2, that's what.

a slower, establishing first season followed by a bombastic second season that raises the stakes, lets the villains out to play big time, and generally knocks it out of the park. so if you're on the fence while watching s1, keep going to get to the glowup!

and here's what makes WOT better than ROP:

while they both improve in their second season, imo the first season of WOT is quite a bit better than the first season of ROP (anecdotal evidence: i started both shows as a complete show-only with no prior familiarity with the source material (bar having watched the LOTR movies), and WOT had me hooked by the end of 1x01 whereas ROP i watched 2 episodes and abandoned it for 2 years before coming back for another try and successfully getting hooked)

i'd say the main reason for this is that the story of WOT s1 is fairly simple and small scale and laser-focused on just our 7 main characters who all share a single storyline together (breaking up into 3 sub-storylines for the middle portion of the season, then coming back together again), and it holds off on expanding the scale of the world & story until s2. this was much more effective at getting a newcomer like me assimilated in the world, hooked on the story, and invested in the characters than ROP starting out with a massive sprawling cast and story right off the bat and kind of overwhelming me with too much going on. WOT s1 was also very clear in establishing Here Are The Stakes And Here's Why You Should Care immediately in the pilot episode, whereas i struggled for a while with seeing what the Point of ROP was or why i should care about these characters (because there are too many of them and not enough time spent on any).

WOT is better at character depth and development, in large part because its main cast is about half the size of ROP's so there's just a lot more breathing room. like with ROP, some characters/storylines are naturally more important than others in a given season and thus everyone's prominence ebbs and flows, but unlike ROP, the characters who are in their "off-season" still get proper season-long arcs and never feel like they're getting neglected. no primary WOT character has ever been wholly absent for more than 1 episode per season (except for mat absent from 2 eps in s1 for recasting-related reasons).

following off of that, i'd say WOT is better at handling multiple storylines, because of the above point of fewer characters and also the earlier point that all the characters start together, then separate. this ensures that all the different storylines feel connected to each other, unlike ROP where there are some groups of characters that have never even met anyone else. the Found Family and Power Of Friendship themes are extremely strong in WOT, and the bonds between the core characters are unbreakable! and this makes all the storylines feel connected and cohesive even when they're taking place across the continent.

another similar point: WOT strikes a better balance between epic scale and narrative intimacy. i can't describe this any better or think of specific examples, it's just a Vibe i feel that ROP sometimes gets lost in its own scale whereas WOT always keeps us very firmly anchored in the characters and the personal stakes no matter how vast the world or conflict becomes. i might exemplify this by saying that if you enjoyed the sauron-celebrimbor scenes in s2, you'll love WOT because it is a huge proponent of "2 characters in a room talking to each other" scenes that further the larger plot while also keeping things intimate and personal and fleshing out the characters.

oh also, focal episodes! every season, WOT does 1 or 2 episodes that focus in deeply on one particular main character (different one every time) at a key point in their journey and deliver some amazing in-depth characterwork (while still furthering the story and allotting time to the other characters & storylines too). characters truly are one of the strongest aspects of WOT, both books and show, and i love that the show takes the time to give us episodes like this. it is so so good at balancing character & plot, and understanding that we won't care about the plot unless we care about the characters.

there is a HUGE cast of female characters, and a very varied cast too. the main cast is 50/50 men and women, and the supporting cast is at least 50/50 too if not majority women. in both the source material and the adaptation, women are integral to the story and so many of them are huge players that drive the narrative, rather than feeling like afterthoughts the 2020s adaptation is fruitlessly trying to cram into source material that was not designed for them as is often the case with ROP imo.

branching off of that: one of the major institutions in WOTworld is an all-woman wizard faction, complete with a lady wizard pope. this gives us things like battle scenes and political scheming that's mostly or exclusively between women. it's awesome!

edited to add: might be obvious from the point about there being a lot of women, but WOT also has lots of female friendships! and female mentorships and rivalries and romances too. just so many relationships between women, quite a contrast to nori and poppy struggling to singlehandedly make ROP pass the bechdel test.

canon queer characters and relationships. and queerness is not only present in WOTworld, it's normalized!

and finally, you'll have to wait til s2 to get her, but WOT is better because it has elayne trakand and thus is better than every show that does not have elayne trakand (can you tell who my blorbo is)

[physalian]

Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of

Continuing on the list of “tropes the world needs more of”

1. The optimist in denial

This is a character who probably didn’t have the best life growing up, so determined to look on the bright side to escape their objectively crap situation that they’re in denial, not just being annoyingly optimistic. They’re frustrating cases to all the people who care about them because they won’t admit anything is wrong, holding onto a life or reality that doesn’t exist, or perhaps never did, as it’s all they have left.

Example: Todoroki Fuyumi

2. The “peaceful” pacifist

As opposed to harmless, the distinction is important. Demons run when a good man goes to war. This is a character who took themselves off the game board because they know they’d win in a landslide. This is a warrior who left the battlefield because they are the weapon of mass destruction. This is also the character who is determined to be good, even if it gets them killed. I don’t care if there’s already plenty of them, this is good shit and I want more.

Example: Too many and yet not enough

3. The likable autistic

Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.

Nothing specific to do this time, more what not to do. Make them people first, yeah? A person with autism. Not autistic person. There’s a difference.

Example: Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

4. Husbands who love their wives

Wow this feels like a low bar. These men who adore their wives, who wouldn’t dare think the phrase “ball and chain”. If he likes his wife, he’s probably a good man altogether. I feel like media is stepping away from the misogynistic kinds of protagonists (assuming their wives weren’t fridged) but I’m talking men who are their wives fiercest defender (socially) and biggest cheerleader.

Example: Gomez Adams, Maes Hughes

5. Unmanicured Female Heroes and Love Interests

Slapping barbie dolls who look gorgeous and can do no wrong aren’t anyone’s favorite character. Let her hair be a little frizzy, let her not wear makeup, give her jeans and a t-shirt and flat. Let her be a little lazy and self-indulgent. A little cluttered and messy without joking about how she’s “letting herself go”.

Let her have some biases, some arbitrary hills to die on. Not every female character but usually characters like this are the jealous villains or the girl who gets dumped for someone prettier.

Example: Toph Beifong, Princess Fiona

—

Oh look I wrote some of these in ENNS haha what a coincidence

Check it out if you'd like~

[rom-e-o]

A Moment of Weakness (Emmrich/OC)💚F!Rook

The game isn't even out. We don't know Emmrich's personality, VA, ... really, anything beyond the bare bones as I write this ... but I couldn't help myself! I hope this little story is enjoyable, despite inaccuracies, haha!

TW: alcohol mention/mild tipsy behavior.

It had started with a simple sentence, but one that Emmrich immediately realized was shrouded in complex sentiment.

Hours before, Belisma (“Rook”, as she was affectionately called) had knocked on the door to his study and invited him to share a drink with him. More specifically, she had wanted to toast a successfully long day of battles and negotiations by imbibing together at the Lighthouse, a base that was unnerving as it was beautiful. She had even surprised him with a dusty bottle of red imported right from Nevarra. It carried the region’s distinct fruity notes; a stark contrast to the stench of death and semi-permanent haze of stale incense the region was known for.

Perhaps that was why such bottles were so coveted. Even he, with all his knowledge and history of the reason, carried not the knowledge of a versed sommelier. He did know, however, that the drink was strong.

The drink had boosted their spirits quickly, and loosened lips even more so.

Moments before, he'd been laughing amicably at an amusing anecdote she'd told him about an awkward encounter with a former suitor. Quite the crude young man, from what the woman had described. Hardly someone suitable for a woman like her, he'd thought.

Then, she’d let the sentence slip.

"I’m glad I can be useful here … I’m more suited for the battlefield than a quiet life anyway.” Then, she added, "Could you imagine … me, with a husband waiting for me back home? What poor soul could I do that to?”

Emmrich, dressed casually in a starched shirt and trousers (but still adorned in his rings and jangling bangles), paused to flick his gaze at present company.

"What?"

With a little hiccup, she allowed herself to sink against the weight of the table. "It's amusing, isn't it?"

"What is?" Emmrich prodded, a silver brow lifted. Her self-deprecating words had sobered him. "The thought of you with … a husband?”

"Right," she said. "Or a lover or ... someone of similar station. Even if someone was interested, I have nothing to offer. Mages aren’t exactly known for their large dowries and influence – even the wealthiest ones – compared to normal nobles.”

She paused, her eyes drifting askance as she tapped her nails on the oak table. “That was what he said, anyway.”

"Who?"

"Cyril," she reminded him. "I just told you about him. He was my last ... suitor, I suppose. I was 25. We met in a Circle. It feels like yesterday, but... his words stuck. Evidently."

The man gently lowered his chalice onto the table, the sweet wine forgotten. His eyes, rimmed with intrigue but touched with sadness, examined her. While a devoted scholar, Emmrich was also a man with decades of experience working with peers of many ages and backgrounds. Many called him a gentleman for the ways he seemed to invite conversation and put others at ease, but he preferred to his he simply put proper effort into listening. He leaned in, encouraging her to say more.

The silent prodding bore fruit. "I mean, it's inarguable. Look at me."

He did. He had been since they'd started working alongside each other.

He saw a lovely woman, just a small handful of years younger than him. She was a head shorter than him, with a feminine but muscled build from years of training as a mage and honing her skills. Her jaw, cut perfectly square enough to put the gems on any viscount's ring to shame, was adorned with bright eyes and lips that were ... very pleasant.

Her eyes reflected the color of freezing cold sap, tapped from the tree of Emprise du Lion. Her lips, painted with a swatch of coral, looked full and soft as far as he could tell. He hadn't been blessed enough to feel them pillow against his skin, but he could imagine. Her skin bore a light tan, and her hair swung gaily over her shoulders with each spin and flip on the battlefield. Starlight-gray waves sprouted from her scalp, and he thought they framed her face beautifully. Elegantly.

"I ... see you," he said carefully. He stammered a moment, eyes still searching for what she could mean. “I see you quite well, as a matter of fact.”

To him, she looked like a partner anyone would be lucky to have.

"Well, there you go," she added with a light, almost flippant laugh.

"I fail to see what's funny."

"...Emmrich, you don't have to be polite," she said, her voice becoming softer as a result of his stern but inquisitive tone. “I’m not a child.”

"I am being honest, with the politeness always secondary," he reminded her. “Lucanis can testify to that.”

A tense beat of silence passed. Before he could speak up, she sighed and pushed her chalice away. It flared bottom skipped lightly across the uneven wood grain. "I-I'm sorry. That's my cue. I’ve had enough to drink, I believe."

Another shaky laugh left her. Emmrich heard a telltale tremble in her voice, and rose to pursue her.

"Belisma, wait—”

"I’m sorry," she said, cutting him off. Palm flattening against the wall to better support her weight, she made her way toward the great hall's door to exit.

It only took one hobble for him to round the table after her. "You’re unsteady. I'll walk you."

"Please. Stay."

A man of many years, he could easily transcribe her true request from the dismal look on her face: “Keep back and let me go.”

So, he did.

Not one to disobey their leader, especially when she requested something so simple, he respected her desire for space. Falling back, he watched her go. She did not falter again, from what he could see.

Her shadow eventually slinked out of the room and to the left, which was the path he knew led to her quarters. As he watched her vanish into the night-darkened halls of the base, regret filled his lungs like sea water.

He should have said something sooner.

Night.

Night in the Fade was … very similar to the day, he had to admit. It wasn’t even really night, he supposed. Just an agreed upon hour where they all stole moments of slumber between onslaughts of enemies.

Back home, night was the most comfortable hour for the necromancer, as it shrouded the work in a silver-tinted darkness. Temperatures cooled, and his mind could home in better on his duties as an esteemed member of the Mourn Watch. Night was a time for study; a time for work. A time for solving problems he refused to let fester.

Here, the air still shimmered like mica, but the sky did not grow inky like it did in the mortal realms. Its comforts felt somewhat hollow, but it was all he had, so he took them.

When the Lighthouse was quiet save for his footsteps, he left his chamber and began to walk.

Emmrich knew his destination, in theory. There was a sparse list of places their Rook would, or could, travel to for relaxation. One of those areas was a small room located a few floors up, overlooking the Fade’s ever-twitching horizon. A small, stone room where mages could practice magic without risk of rogue spells hurting others.

Upon arriving at the room, he heard her voice from within. Grunts and yells of exertion peppered the otherwise quiet air. The older man took a deep breath, which served the dual purpose of bolstering his confidence as well as calming his racing heart.

He knocked. A beat of silence passed.

Then, a voice called from beyond the iron-enforced frame. "Come in."

A pleasant voice. A kind, womanly, familiar voice that could lure enamored men to burn their tomes for her.

Ignoring that he fit into that category all too neatly himself, he swallowed and entered the chamber. As he laid his palm against the frame, the metal was warm to the touch, even through his adorned glove.

The room was built from stone, top to bottom, with only a few slots to serve as windows. They also provided the handy attribute of ventilation, as this chamber was one mages utilized to train their abilities.

It was quite common to enter the training room to find the air crackling with electricity, or to nearly slip on ice-covered stones from the last mage practicing a bout of freezing spells.

In this case, Belisma appeared to be practicing fire magic. Her staff drawn and the smell of cinder permeating the air, she turned and gave the visitor a smile. The iron-clad tip of her staff still burned red-hot in the semi-darkness as she turned to him.

"Oh! Emmrich."

She looked pleased to see him on the surface, but he knew her better by now. There was a slight, nervous way her lower eyelids would upturn when she peered at him, like she was squinting through him, as if to see better intentions.

Nodding, he risked a step forward. "I thought I heard you in here. I ... wanted to check on you."

Although he spoke carefully, her face still fell at his admission. "Ah. Because of earlier."

"Yes, earlier."

A measured sigh snaked in and out of her lungs.

"It … was a moment of weakness," she confessed, hands dropping to her sides. He noticed with a heavy heart that she cast her gaze to the opposite corner of the room. An obvious sign of shame. "I shouldn't have burdened you with that. I'd had too much to drink and ... I suppose the ghosts of the past got a hold of me. I apologize."

"You needn’t apologize for that," he said kindly. "You're hardly the first one to divulge personal secrets over a chalice of wine, and I'm sure you'll be far from the last."

Her brown eyes sought his. "W-Well, when you put it like that ... perhaps you're right."

"I often am," he teased.

She smiled at that, and his heart leapt again. Gods above, how had any man made the woman before him feel unworthy of affection. Had time-altering spells been more his forte, he might have chanced traveling back a few decades just to clobber the fool with a skull. Or two. Perhaps a dragon skill, if he could lift it. Taash could help, he reasoned.

As the silence spurred his thoughts, it quieted hers in tandem. She sighed, tapping the leather-wrapped end of her staff’s hilt against the floor.

In a split second, bright sparks flitted between the crevices in the stone, snaking their way upwards through the narrow channels until the fire leads to the wicks of the candles adorning the room's small chandelier. With the formerly cavernous room now aglow with firelight, he could more keenly observe a notable flush to her cheeks.

"Thank you," she said softly. "I'm glad I didn't scare you away from wanting to talk to me."

He snorted in amusement. "It'll take more than banter to scare me, dear."

The realization of the term slipping out hit too late, and he cleared his thought awkwardly. "I-I've seen more death than some armies, you know. So n-no. Not scared at all. No."

He heard her chuckle warmly at his stammering. Perhaps she found it endearing, he hoped.

Nonetheless, fighting his own blush now, a hand lofted to scratch his temple. It was also his turn to look away, lest he become lost in those syrupy eyes again.

“I promise to hold my drink better when we hold our next private celebration,” she noted gaily. “You won’t have to listen to an old maid ramble, haha. Nobody here needs that in our only place of respite.”

Just as Emmrich had turned to scuttle away, he was lured back. “Stop that.”

She paused, glancing up at him. “Hm?”

“Stop with the self-depreciating comments, Belisma.”

Unlike his voice before, which had wavered from boyish shyness, his tone in the moment was pure bravado. He allowed himself to take pleasure in watching her cheeks turn cherry-red. Despite the color that bloomed on her face, her eyes remained glued to him.

“E-Emm—”

“You are a woman of immense talent and beauty, and while I enjoy your company here more than the company of any other, I cannot abide by you taking every opportunity to be so disparaging of yourself.”

He took a step toward her, and Maker, she stayed in place. He didn’t so much as take a breath as he dared to advance another. Before he knew it, it had crossed the threshold between them enough for their chests to barely touch. He couldn’t help but note that she was even more captivating from this angle.

“You are our leader, a talented mage, and your dedication to leading us through this rather unprecedented situation is nothing short of remarkable,” he reminded her.

“You think—”

“You call yourself an ‘old maid’? Please. You are an incredible woman, and any soul across Tevinter, Nevarra, or bloody Thedas would be lucky to share a room, or a drink, with you. I certainly am.”

He saw her eyes widen, but he couldn’t stop himself. The floodgates had opened, and it was impossible to bring them crashing down again.

“They’d be even luckier to have you as a partner…a lover, as you said before.”

A stern finger lofted to prod her collarbone lightly, a gesture that would have potentially felt patronizing if they weren’t too adults that seemed to be drifting closer by the second.

The next words caught in his throat.

“A-As I…should …”

The molten intrigue in her eyes vanished in that moment. With the poise he often saw her display on the battlefield, her eyes fell shut as she flowed forward.

He braced for a slap, but felt her lips press against his instead.

Maker, he thought in a blitz of passion, how long had it been since anyone had kissed him? Decades, probably. The thought was met with fleeting entertainment, but quickly passed as he realized he wasn’t going to overthink himself out of appreciating the moment.

He leaned in, hands finding purchase on her hips for balance.

Her lips, as he’d thought, were so soft. They became even more pliable when he reciprocated, angling his head in a way so that slotted his nose beside hers and pressed hard into her cheek. The better angle allowed him to nudge all the closer. Her bottom lip was nestled between his at first, but with another sway of their bodies, she tilted away, and he took the opportunity to take that lip between his teeth just slightly.

He worried for a moment it was too forward, but concerns melted when she moaned (gods, a glorious sound!) and inched her arms upward. First, she gripped his shoulders. Then, her arms wrapped around his neck, nudging their pounding hearts into further alignment.

Just the scrape of his teeth made her gasp again, and her strong arms hauled him closer. With her bosom pressed to his chest and their thighs flush, it was euphoria. The man was too enamored to realized that he’d walked her backward across the room, pressing her to the stone wall gently. Unable to help himself, he smiled against the kiss, and she chased that smile with her own.

When they parted for air, panting and breathless, he stared into her eyes. They looked even darker than they had before. All the more tempting to become lost in them, he noted.

“I…I have not been kissed in a very, very long time …” he admitted breathlessly.

Belisma’s lips, now a slightly more muted shade after he’d kissed her lipstick off, curved into a smile.

“I’ve never been kissed like that,” she confessed with a whisper. “Ever.”

Shared mirth leapt between them, and he dared to rest his forehead against hers.

“P-Perhaps I should get tipsy more often if it leads to pleasant moments like this.”

A laughter, warm like summer thunder, rumbled in his chest. He eyes crinkled as he cupped her cheek, noting how she leaned int his touch.

“Well,” he husked, his voice shifting to a pleasant burr as he urged her close, “All the more reason from you to not drink alone again, dear.”

This time, he leaned in to capture her lips against his.

And she, their fearless Rook, leaned into him with abandon.

I'm now going to go back to begging BioWare for crumbs, haha.

[oops-its-a-fanwork]

Dancing with the pirate boys~🕺💃

I simply think we should dance! Dancing is fun!💕

This pirate au is by @mega-punani and these are just my non-canon headcanons <3 check out their page for more! (she's currently not updating this au but her page is a lovely visit!)

Sans Sooo you know those dances where one person does very little dancing and the other person is pretty much dancing around them, pulling them in? He'd offer one of those dances as a 'haha gotcha now I don't have to do much' kinda thing, but little did he know how you'd turn the tables on him! Oh the shameless flirting as you danced your little heart out! Your fleeting touches as you flutter around him, the looks you give him, the proximity as you pull him close, face to face, only to then pull away for another wide twirl~ He's at the centre of the stage and he cant leave, since he promised you he would do this for you. But oh this man is flustered. He is bright blue. And he simply cannot move his eyes off you. Even years later you can still easily tease him by seductively asking him to dance. He'll get bright blue and flustered again immediately even after your little wink ;) Ah man, you got him good. (The crew definitely teases him about it alllll the time. He just hehehs some more.)

Papyrus Yes yes yes he would love to dance!! Papyrus loves folk dances, ballroom dances, silly dances, tangos, just- anything!! Please ask him to dance! And don't be surprised if he asks you to dance either! He loves the joy of dancing in a group and seeing how invested and/or exited everyone is. Depending on how he's feeling, he can be either 1: a little stiff due to being nervous (maybe dancing in the crow's nest with waves like these wasn't your best idea...), 2: lose and carefree and a bit over enthusiastic (an absolutely joyous occasion or some alcohol may do this) or 3: comfortable, confident and super romantic (and pretty dang good!). He truly sweeps you off your feet in an awesome way! Definitely the type to be chatty during a dance too so he'll absolutely flirt with you while holding you in a dip.

Blue Folk dances hell yeah!!!! He knows a ton of them, is really good at them and is very enthusiastic! You'll have a lovely time with him and the gang, and he somehow knows how to make you feel special dancing with him even though you are also dancing with a ton of others. Maybe it's the way he looks at you? The time after the dance is well spent too: you are warm and tired and he is telling you stories about the dances' origins and the places he's learned them. If you dance for long enough you might actually get a very rare chance to nap with him: two tired and content smiling nerds snoozing on the couch. Slick and strict dances aren't his thing though. He loves the way they look and how romantic they are, but doesn't have the patience to learn and perform them well. He'll sweep you off your feet in a different way!

Stretch Listen honey. He doesn't dance. He plays the music. Important distinction. You can, however, convince him to try when you two are separated from the rest of the crew. You’ll be in a bustling town and evening is falling, and a band softly plays music for a buzzing cafe with terrace. And you may convince him to let you put your hand on his shoulder, to put his hand on your side, to put his left foot here, and his right foot there, then take a step there… and he'll be sweating the entire time, holding his breath until you tell him to breathe, darling. And he'll be stunned at how close you are. And he won't notice that you're dancing so sweetly until the song is over and you ask if you could do that again sometime. And he responds with a soft and flustered "yes" and watches you meld into the crowd to collect some drinks for you both. And he reasons that Yes, he truly might do that again…

Red "Heheh you can give me a lapda-" "No. >:/"

I think it would be difficult to actually get him to properly dance with you. He might entertain you for half a song but then he'll start trying to convince you to leave the dance floor with him. Its just not really his thing, and on top of that he's actually kind of embarrassed about looking like a fool unless inebriated. If you are out dancing he'll definitely brag to everyone and their parents that you're his pretty partner though! In fact, he might start taking you out to dance when the ship is docked just to show you off (and to make sure you have a good time of course). He'll request whatever music you need from the sidelines and watch you go at it. Man he has it good~

Edge You can convince him to take classes with you and hell take them super seriously, but he may have been too self-conscious/busy to start on his own. Learning to dance wasn't really a priority back on his home island and he might care if the others make fun of him for it, especially given his perfectionism. If he can use your request as an excuse to do it though... that'll probably do the trick! He actually really enjoys it: it's structured and beautiful and he can choose to either be in the spotlight with you or in a group where he doesn't stand out. He gets good really really fast too, so unless you are already quite good at it he'll be teaching you soon enough. It's truly a lot of fun and you actually see him smile a lot doing this. Truly a massive win.

Black An absolute show off. He knows how to ballroom dance but would never tell anyone even if asked. Except for you it seems! He puts you two in matching outfits, asks for a dance, and then shows off the fact that he has mad skills for dances like this. If he really wants to show off he might even create a spotlight out of sun or moonlight on the both of you. And to top it all off, he makes you feel absolutely special throughout the whole thing! …You can absolutely use this closeness to fluster him though. He can't escape your flirts while holding you this close >:3c He won't really join in on sillier dances or folk-dances unless challenged to, but his footwork and discipline are amazing so he likely will excel at any structured dance if he's been able to observe it well enough (to everyone's excitement and surprise). Any freestyling he will fail at though.

Cash On the surface he's making it seem far too easy to get him to dance with you. He makes it seem like he's out to get close and steal your stuff while he's there (as if he needs the proximity), but it's mostly a facade to hide how nervous this makes him. Like, genuinely dancing together? That's… vulnerable. Like Stretch, the crew can't be near at all, and honestly even strangers like a band are too much. You can gently persuade him to dance to the tune of a music box or radio you brought. You know you've made a genuine connection when he DOESN'T show you he stole something afterwards, even though he did it right at the start to have an easy way out of the situation. No one wants to dance with a thief, right? He puts it back in your pocket the next morning, and seems much more mellow the following days.

Bear He has a strict 'no partying in the kitchen' rule for obvious reasons, but if you are often hiding in the kitchen for some quiet time and tend to play soft music he might sway subconsciously to it, and if he has some downtime during the cooking process you might be able to persuade him to gently sway with you for a little bit, creating a lovely big blush on his face. Do a little pirouette in his arms and his day is all better. Other than this he doesn't really dance when the occasion arises, but you will find that he is completely focused on you as you dance either a silly little swing or some beautiful dance. He has no jealousy at all seeing you dance with others, mainly because his focus is entirely on you <3

Cinnamon Although complicated choreographed dances are difficult due to his eyesight and general clumsiness, simple slow couples dance can be done just fine! Simply swaying with him will have him comfortable and a little flustered. He would love to enthusiastically dance too but he's worried about hurting you and possibly falling on his face and embarrassing himself. When you do end up slow dancing he often needs to hold himself back from squealing at how cute you are this close, and he needs to resist the urge to suddenly spin you in circles and hug you so close because aaaa cuteness aggression! If you give him express permission to show it you'll end up having a very good time giggling with him, it's super sweet :) Also I am convinced this man can tap dance (or at least is trying to learn to) so if you can convince him to show you his skills you can have a lot of fun together!

[angevinyaoiz]

Haha thanks for appreciating my art! 

Yeah, it’s funny because I think Henry II/Young Henry is objectively some of the BEST lesser known Dadson dynamics out there that’s sadly underexplored—you have political bedsharing, “the son and the father are one,” Co-Crowning ceremonies (There should be more dadson AUs that steal the concept of associative kingship) bodies and souls bound together, guilt, shame, divorce, the Love and Fear of faetc etc… 

the only unfortunate thing Is that dadson is generally not something I get super excited about personally. >_< I can see the visions and recommend them but it’s not really what gets me going….I’ll leave that to the pros (tho I DID have some art concepts here and there in mind but who knows if I’ll ever get to it..)

Anyways, back to the main subject—for memory lane look at these, the very FIRST art I did of him I’m pretty sure! Alongside Frederick Barbarossa and Richard. You can tell I was just working directly off random ref images without knowing anything lool

Also this one! Early art. Where he’s extremely shota. I still think this is cute, but it doesn’t look like HIM to me.

I still like these pieces…I had fun with them. I miss putting him in the historically inaccurate green caftan

Philip’s design overall has been an interesting process! I think my initial designs for the Plantagenets have refined over time, but they more or less stayed the same from the beginning, while his was kind of an evolution. It’s a bit hard for me to look at my old Blondelippe art because it’s so different from how I think about and draw him now, lol.  I was initially influenced by a few things:

there were a couple of fanarts/drawings of a Philip that was blonde, so I ran with that .

I think I might have initially mixed up art with that of Philip IV Le Bel, who has had portrayals where he’s a Pretty Blond

In some medieval artworks especially in later centuries, there are portraits of him that look blonde but only because of the stylistic conventions.

Also, my initial fandommy delusion interpretation of his character (when i was mostly dabbling from the TLIW stuff only) was influenced by the certain BL and shoujo archetype that pops up that usually consist of blonde, french-coded characters with childhood sexual trauma who are also guarded and conniving and sometimes straight up evil. so I thought it would be fun to run with that, and also be an obvious visual signifier that I was working in more a Yaoi Delusion state than a Realistic Historical state.

I ended up kind of veering away from this as I started to do more research and realized I was a lot more interested in reading about historical details. I was less familiar with Philip, but I had fun reading and getting to know his character I think a lot more in a way that I liked. My art is influenced by my aesthetic fujo preferences, but I also like a sense of background knowledge and consistency in my brain. For me I wanted the Philip, both the historical philip and the rpf dolly i’ve reconstructed, to feel more specific to me. There are already plenty of conniving blondes out there (I didn’t want people to mistake it for an APH France…lol) so kind of designing him as brunette with the goofy, severe bangs (influenced by his statues, and by the 19th century portrait) was a fun design. It also worked a lot better for black and white comics, like in “In Exchange for Honor,” And as well serves as a nice visual contrast since I draw the brothers + Henry usually as all varying degrees of blonde/redhead… THAT’s for Yaoi aesthetic reasons lol

I’m actually not sure if there IS any info on his hair color in real life, and tbh I guess i’m not interested in that (also he balded so it becomes irrelevant). I think it’s fun because I can draw him very pretty for my delusions if I want but also has a kind of dorkiness to him that I think is extremely important to lean into. I also feel like, I wanted a design that could look distinct and cute, but also could look more Adult if I wanted to, I draw him a kid a lot but I wanted the vibes to translate into older designs as well.

A big part that stands out to me reading about the historical Philip is the contrast between how Serious and Sacral the Frankish kingship is how important Philip was as the god-given heir blah blah blah, but also with how WEIRD he was. Making serious and laudable logistical decisions and policies one moment, but also making baffling and confusing decisions in his personal life and relationships. He’s kind of a mess in a fun way, it leaves a lot for the imagination (and evil imagination) to wonder wtf was up with him. In a way, even though the TLIW richphil dubcon backstory is Completely Made Up, to me I feel it doesn’t feel completely out of place thematically, since to me there’s something inherently sus/erotic about the status of purity/sacralness and the transgression from childhood vulnerability that is necessary to emerge into true power…Anyway I could write more Yaoi Essays but this post is meant to be about aesthetics.

It is impossible to escape the influence of TLIW Timothy Dalton in attitude, even if not in aesthetic, since he is probably the only major portrayal of Philip in the anglosphere I can think of. I feel that influence definitely comes through unavoidably, although I also try to round him out a bit when I write him. TLIW!Philip (in both movies and all plays) is showing him behaving at a very specific point in time; he starts off being condescended to, then exits the film smug and unscathed. It’s a big contrast from even modern Philip portrayals like in Confessions de l’Histoire where he’s more of a whiner and Richard’s punching bag.  

In The Devil’s Crown, Christopher Gable in The Devil’s Crown is a bit more subtle, and follows a more subdued and calculating Philip who grows into his person over time. I like him a lot because he’s very stiff and formal compared to Henry and Richard’s expressive gesticulating, but he holds a lot of disdain and rage inside him.  I think his portrayal in TDC definitely has influenced me a lot, I love how he glowers at Richard during all their encounters. It’s both very serious but also kind of cute…Also I’m entranced by his ballet photos. In a way they kind of cycle all the way back to that ethereal kind of “getting bewitched in the woods” unnerving shoujo feeling that I was originally getting a whiff of originally.

FUNNY ENOUGH, I feel I even still get some influence from….Solomon’s Crown of all things.. I make fun of it of course for its uwufication but for all my haterisms natasha kind of cooked with leaning into the weirdly ageregressiony Pure Special Little Boy feeling that pops up fetishistically in that book (in denial of course), the only difference for me is that I feel like that fetishistic aspect can be used deliciously for Evil (“purity” can be weaponized, after all) character traits rather than making a character Boring as hell

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

I’m not very articulate unfortunately but now that I’ve made this sideblog I wanted to get some thoughts out. I do see the logic when folks say that Arthur mostly experienced bad things in regards to magic, so it makes sense why he was wary of it/didn’t alter the laws since he didn’t know about Merlin’s guardian angel tendencies/etc. BUT. If we’re going with the magic is a queer metaphor (or just using it as one of many real life parallels) then I got to say. If you’re homophobic or your dad’s a queerphobic/bigoted politician who sanctions their murder and you haven’t explicitly said oh yeah I really don’t agree with that. Then queer people will probably not go out of their way to be kind to you while also letting you know they’re queer. They’re going to be wary and many will be antagonistic, and if there are queer people in your life they’ll probably keep mum because saying anything risks their life/security, and even freedom, in a way that’s distinct and sometimes worse than the restriction of freedom the closet imposes. 

In the same vein I feel like well if magic was banned in Camelot, and we know that even innocent people using it for, idk, healing a cut, got persecuted, then why would magic users be tripping over themselves to explicitly show Arthur how they’re using “good” magic. It’d put them in danger! Even if they were being helpful they’d not be telling Arthur they were being magically helpful (on account of the tyrant father’s laws still existing). Only sorcerers who are about to Revenge it Up (or power-grab it up) will likely be found out as sorcerers (on account of the occasional monologue and gold flashing eyes as they try to stab u).

Arthur just couldn’t have realistically seen an equivalently diverse number of people doing benevolent magic as long as all magic, no exceptions, was technically still illegal. (Though he does see some instances of ‘good’ magic!)

And about magical people close to Arthur not telling him for so long (Merlin, Morgs), I think they had many understandable reasons. At one point if you live long enough in a place where various parts of your identity can be legally prosecuted, or are liable to be socially persecuted, it’s physically hard to even get the words out. From personal experience the fear is just very encompassing, and it sucks to think that you very likely have to bear agression or worse if you want to let people you care about know. Plus, for Merlin I imagine a part of the situation was that telling Arthur would risk their closeness, which is pretty important to his ability to protect him. And Merlin believes that if he protects Arthur, the prophecy dictates at some point in the future magic will be legalized (which it does become, but it’s mentioned so briefly at the end. Could we not have had a happier ending??) :( I have a lot of other thoughts on this specific topic that I’ve tearfully jotted down over the years about how I understand why Merlin didn’t tell his friends (I’m less tearful about it now haha I was just Going Through It back then), but I fear I’ll still be incomprehensible and even more rambly, so I’ll avoid doing that right now. ANYWAY sorry for the ramble. I just made this sideblog and realized I can share some of the things that have been rolling around in my mind for years. Okay now I’m gonna go back to being in denial over the ending :) 

[66sharkteeth]

I wonder if Claude has ever felt a bit of guilt from taking the original Claude’s face and kept it all hidden to keep up the facade. His breaking point and asking his face’s father for help just hurts 😭

mmmnnaah, sorry haha.

it was elaborated on by jay back when desmond was explaining he doesn't view himself as reese, but how blanks identify really varies from blank to blank.

claude still views himself as the same person he was when he was a human. he's not like desmond who feels like he was born from reese's death. he views himself more as the same person, he just changed teams.

just to compare him and desmond, who are kind of opposites in this regard, desmond's always made a point of clarifying he's talking about his "face's family" or his "face spent time in the war" because it's an important distinction to him (tho he's making less point of this lately with rosie's acceptance, as well as just for simplicity sake).

however, claude's ALWAYS just referred to it as "his family," "his dad," "I grew up in a good family," not his face's dad, or his face grew up privileged. He only acknowledged human Claude as a different person in front of his dad, because he knew his dad viewed them as such- two different people, which was kind of insult to injury for the whole situation. He's always been the same person in his own eyes, but now that his dad knows he's a blank, he views him as a completely different person (which totally isn't a metaphor for another certain experience).

sorry if this is a little difficult to explain but... identity is always a difficult subject to explain to someone whose not experiencing difficulty w/ it themselves! Its uh... kind of another example how blanks very, very, very much are analogy for some stuff I personally deal with that I just hope other folks who also relate pick up on.

[festivating]

do you have any tips/tricks for keeping characters' voices ic in a fic? not thinking of any in particular but in general (i love how you write everyone in attrition, including the minor characters 🥰). or does it come naturally? (that happens to me sometimes but only with the characters i'm obsessed with enough haha) thank you 💗

Ahhh you're very kind thank you, and thank you for asking me! 💚 I'll talk more about characters that have tons of canon content, like Elphaba and Glinda, but this also works with the ones that don't show up a lot it just involves a lot more of filling in blanks and making things up.

But generally I revisit the source material sometimes, it helps when I'm trying to keep things accurate but it also helps when I'm doing something that's wildly different from canon (which happens more often) because it makes me able to pinpoint where the diversion is, why it's happening, and makes me more conscious of my own choices.

I also make a Conscious Effort to learn a character's speech patterns and mannerisms, but most importantly how those change depending on the situation. Think about how in the book, Glinda tends to speak in long sentences but the way she words things depend on who she's talking to, she uses fancier words and loves to ramble when she's in Society Mode, but when she's with her peers at Shiz or with Elphaba later on, her speech is pretty juvenile. Meanwhile Elphaba speaks in the same acerbic way to pretty much everyone except her dad, who she is more soft-spoken to. That alone told me sooo much about them.

This makes it very fun and distinct when those patterns break, whenever Elphaba speaks softly to someone who isn't Frex it sticks out and draws attention and always feels like a bit of a Moment. When Fiyero's narration calls out Glinda for breaking that Society Mode pattern to tell him something genuine, it also feels like a Moment.

I think good characterization is mostly dialogue, if characters "sound" like themselves you can justify almost anything they do in a fic if your story is consistent.

The most important thing I do is become irrevocably unwell and rotate characters in my head 24/7

Also I think the easiest way to get that "in character" feel is to analyze how characters go about the things they want. A character should always want at least one thing, and whether they know what those things are or not will impact a lot of who they are. It's likely if you're writing a fic they won't want the same things they want in the source material, but if they go about getting those things in a way that feels familiar (eg Elphaba is direct, Glinda is calculating) then generally they'll feel "accurate" to canon. Tailor this to your context (in attrition Elphaba's depression makes it hard for her to know what she wants, but she still takes a direct approach when she can) and you'll be golden.

Lastly just keep in mind the longer your story is, or depending what sort of AU you're writing, it's okay if characters aren't 100% true to canon, because they are not living the same experiences and aren't developing in the same way. It's more important that they develop and change from things happening within your story, than to chase canonical accuracy in my opinion.

Everyone in attrition at this point is very different from their canon counterparts, but because they talk almost the same way as they do in the book, and they almost always strive for what they want in the same way as they do in the book, it feels like they are in character haha

I hope this helped!! This was very nice to answer :)

[midnight-bay-if]

I played the demo today, and so far I love it!

As expected, Taj is my favorite character so far, and it's unlikely this will change anytime soon!

But one character that has me very intrigued too and that isn't among the ROs is Hunter. I don't know what to make of him, and I feel like he isn't just a rando... Makes me curious about how important or not of a choice is agreeing ouright to the "date" or refusing first and the MC agreeing only for a lack of choice... Any hints or facts you could drop about him? Because I'm equally wary and intrigued atm!

Other than that, I had a small issue on my playthrough that may or may not be a coding error: at the crime scene, when Alek finds MC is there, if I pick the option to apologize, it directly skips to Rain stepping between Alek and MC, and I feel like something is missing there? Especially considering the other options actually elaborate on what happens / what is said.

And that aside, I was also wondering if you'd consider rephrasing a bit the segment that sets off the character customization? I know it may come off as very nitpicky, but the narration says MC looks at their reflection and sees their 7 years old self. But it bothers me a bit that it implies MC's hair didn't change length in all these years, as it's pretty common to cut or let your hair grow between the time you're a kid and the time you're an adult. I sure know I had always long hair as a kid but now I never let it grow past ear length. And since we can decide if MC dyed their hair, it would only make sense to decide what is their current hair length, I think?

Sorry if it seems TOO nitpicky - I just couldn't help but be a bit bothered by that!

I'm really glad you enjoyed the demo! It means a lot to me that anyone would consider playing and then sharing their thoughts. it's very much appreciated.

Taj is definitely fun to write, so I can see why so many people are drawn to them, too.

Hunter is definitely an interesting one, but their story will be important, so your instincts are right, haha. What are some facts about Hunter I can share without being spoilery... hmm...

Hunter enjoys it when you're combative. The angrier you get, the happier he gets.

He genuinely enjoys the MC.

He's older than he looks.

He's not from Albach Bay, and he hates it there.

He's often a contrarian, not out of any genuine belief but out of amusement.

Hopefully, this will help you gather some more thoughts on Hunter, lol.

Thank you so much for pointing out the issue you mentioned. Unfortunately, it was just the result of my awful ADHD brain. I added that choice pretty last minute because I felt the other choices weren't sincere enough for the reader who was playing as a kind MC. In the midst of editing, I added that choice, intending to go back to it and add the rest. Like a dummy, I completely forgot, haha. It's fixed now, though. Thanks!

And as for your suggestion, it isn't too nitpicky to point out what you didn't gel with, haha. When writing it, I concentrated more on players who would choose to dye their hair, having a clear distinction between that and their natural hair colour. It just made sense to group the hair customisation together at that time. However, as a compromise, perhaps I can make it clear that the reflection the MC is looking at may not be an accurate depiction of what they looked like as a child, but instead an image based on how they look now since their memories of childhood are skewed.

Let me know.

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts :)

[nyaaamato]

i feel so so crazy every time i think about the expressions obito pulls during the kamui fight... everyone always focuses on his "crazy smile" and it's become so prevalent in fanart and fanfiction that you'd almost think his character was defined by that emotion...

instead i want to talk about the way the animators used the (very sparse) light in his eyes during that fight to convey something different about him that i think is so much more important to understanding his motives and feelings during this part of the series: determination (to, in his mind, "save the world") and grief (knowing, at least somewhere deep, deep down that things will be the same. after all- he wants to create a perfect dream world, not a perfect world because when reality refuses to change... then you settle for second best).

during the start of the fight between obito and kakashi in kamui, both of their eyes are lightless and faraway, they've closed themselves off emotionally to stay resolute in their convictions. this is the first time they've fought face to face in twenty years, and we can tell this takes a toll on both of them because the shots switch back and forth between them fighting as kids to them as adults and back again, with their expressions and reactions mimicking those of when they were younger. it stands out less on kakashi, because while he did change as he grew up he still has a fairly reserved attitude and sticks to the shinobi rules of not showing vulnerability in front of his students and teammates.

it's more obvious with obito, because the distinction between him as a kid and an adult are just so different. whether it's quiet sadness (when he talks with minato about kakashi and sakumo before the kannabi bridge mission) or frustation (not graduating fast enough) or worry (they've lose a teammate in enemy territory), his emotions are drawn exaggerated from the get-go. obito is emotional outwardly and that's a staple of his childhood self as well as another reason he's a "black sheep" shinobi.

then, we have several chapters and episodes after his face reveal where his expressions hardly expand past a frown and a deeper frown. it's easier for him to close himself off, dissociate into someone who can take on an entire army, because that army represents the bulk of what he sees wrong with the shinobi world. alone with kakashi, though... feelings slip in. he doesn't have a character to play, a mask to wear.

kid obito's determination not to lose slips through, and you can see the bitter sadness, the desperation behind his feelings. this expression drags out significantly longer than kakashi, and in many ways gives the impression that his will is stronger than kakashi's. kakashi can't bring himself to kill obito, no matter how close he gets. his resolution is weaker than obito's conviction to free himself, destroy his last shred of humanity (his heart) by throwing himself on kakashi's blade.

kakashi's "determined gleam":

versus obito's:

i don't have much else to say really HAHA... i've just been thinking about this like ten second long snippet of their fight since i rewatched it a few months ago because it's something i totally missed when i watched it air years ago. this isn't a kakashi snub either! he just doesn't get his character quite so brutalised by fandom the way obito does, and i'd looove to see more content that doesn't diminish him to "angry guy that swears a lot" LMAO

[manic-sapphic]

srry i guess i'm on one again today cause here's more spop ranting lol~

i really do love that, after everything that went down during seasons 1-4 (both between adora and catra and the experiences they had on their own), we can look at season 5 and see that -

of all the choices that were made during the final season, there are two that seem to impact the conclusion more significantly than any of the other decisions/actions shown to us as we’re nearing the story’s end. their stark, unequivocal importance in leading to horde prime's defeat is just so obvious there's prob no reason for me to discuss them in this rant lol but i think they're ironic in such a lovely way tho so i just kinda wanna talk about em anyway :)

cause i mean, adora making the choice to go back for catra is so sooo distinct from any of the ones we’ve witnessed her enact before, due to its divergence from the thought processes and behavior patterns we’re used to adora following. she allows everyone else with her onboard darla to risk their safety accompanying her, even accepts their willingness to aid her in what i'd describe as a hail-mary-type rescue mission motivated exclusively by adora's personal interest, committing herself, glimmer, bow, and entrapta to a gamble whose stakes are on an incredibly unprecedented level; the array of repercussions that might follow if even one of them should make the slightest misstep are frighteningly intense and volatile, far beyond the scope of their previous comprehension.

it's an insane risk undertaken with no fathomable reason other than want. adora struggles to even bring herself to tell the others that she wants to go back for catra; possibly due, in part, to it being a decision predicated on personal feelings, which are still a fairly unexplored and thus inexplicable topic for adora, remaining just outside her current realm of understanding. like she doesn't even seem to know why she wants to go back for her so badly, she just knows she "can't just leave her there." i mean, we know it's cause she loves tf outta catra haha but it's def an undeniably senseless move made in the face of the worst odds yet, with more weight on adora's shoulders than any of the other times she’s been willing to roll the dice in the past.

the influence of adora's headstrong sensibilities are more prevalent than ever here, and she resolves to turn back, fully devoted to the dangerously entropic endeavor and totally aware of just how desperately untenable the scenario ahead is likely to be, incomparable to any former experience of situations where that’s been a concern. the problematic potential of every passing moment increases exponentially, rises rapidly with each second they spend on prime's ship, and quickly rockets off the charts into completely unknown territory.

but in spite of all the ways that going back for catra doesn’t make sense, adora chooses to do it. a decision founded wholly on her recognition that it’s something she, ADORA, wants to do. so for the first time, really, we see adora let herself make a selfish decision. and she does it for catra <3

even though it puts the entire rebellion in jeopardy, considering the far-reaching and unpredictable consequences the collateral damage to follow would be sure to have if the worst possible outcome of the attempt to save catra occurs and something goes wrong that inevitably leads to the loss/capture of some/all of them. this would extensively influence the success of their allies back on etheria in regards to stopping prime.

adora's growth spikes most notably in spop's closing installment of episodes tho, led along recognizable, established landmarks as she nears the close of her character’s journey w places like the fright zone and mystacor. and then, however briefly, both her and catra regress a bit on their separate self-destructive tendencies. and she thinks catra has left her for good.

but then, even after everything that’s happened since the very beginning, catra turns right tf around and hightails it back to save adora when she sees prime has already started going after the heart & is infecting the planet. and if she hadn't, the whole thing would've gone south. i mean, she reaches adora just in time, finding her injured and weakened with a monster towering over her. and so, if i can wax poetic for a moment (after all that rambling lol), the two choices in s5 that make the most impact on them all winning in the end are:

adora choosing not to leave catra behind

and

catra choosing to stay with adora

and gahh it's just so damn beautiful :')

[sparklingdemon]

hi, pkmn monochrome anon. im off for once, but unfortunately not on my main. hopefully that's cool with you.

honestly, im skeptical of the idea that hacker cody is nearly as bad cody said they were.

One of the most important things you learn in CBT is the distinction between feeling and thought and action. Hacker cody felt that the people around them were the reason they were depressed. But, Trainer Cody says multiple times that they knew better, and never elaborates if they actually hurt anyone.

Cody also demonstrably has issues with internalized ableism throughout pkmn monochrome. they demean themself over symptoms of depression they likely inherited from hacker cody even before it is weaponized against them. half of their internal conflict has to do with the fact that they cannot be expected to function on the same level as a player, and feeling shitty abaout it. they literally have a giant depression turtle that says "you should abandon cody because these problems make them an inherently worthless person undeserving of love".

so, it makes it ambiguous how much of cody's criticism of the hacker has to do with the hacker actually being an ass, and how much of it is actually just cody being incredibly harsh about their struggles. especially considered even before the players came in, cody was already being emotionally abused over these traits for 3 years.

literally the only criticism about hacker cody that holds any weight as intentionally cruel so far is their treatment of the protagonists. but considering the heavy allusions regarding how exactly they died, i don't think it could reasonably be expected of them to do the right thing in that situation. "yeah sorry you're about to kill yourself here's custody of two children. good luck i guess"

I really don't think its fair to compare them to the players intentionally abusing trainer Cody over the span of two years simply out of amusement despite having all the resources and support available to give them a good life.

now, is all of this certain? no. it's also worthy to note cody also has incentive to lie or refuse to elaborate on hacker cody's behavior considering how they've already been treated under the perception that they are completely unrelated.

i am admittedly worried that this does come across as somewhat infantilizing of hacker cody. i also feel like that was also partially the reason they were driven to this point in-universe. i think hacker cody was also sort of stuck between feeling like their problems weren't "that bad", when the problem wasn't "you're not trying hard enough to take care of yourself" but "you literally have a fucked up brain disease that wants to kill you".

im not denying hacker cody was a flawed person. nor am i trying to say that having shitty mental health is an absolvement of what you do. or reduce cody to just "they were sick lol".

but what we have of them is kind of just a capsule magnifying the worst of them. so much that i feel like they're defined more by their constant rumination. and i really don't think that it's fair to them.

there's more i want to write, but it kind of gets more personal from there. and i feel like i can't really articulate everything i want to say in a coherent and cohesive manner. sorry about that.

also ive already written like 13 paragraphs haha

tldr: hacker cody is a poor little meow meow imo

👀 once again i cannot comment on hacker cody without spoilers but this is very tasty thank u… very interesting points being made here. thank you for coming off of anon to share………

[cyten0]

A Symphony in Crimson

Act 2: A Movement in White

Chapter 1-A

When brought to light, the monster's pain

Is clarified and can bring shame

Yet bit by bit, their pain is cleansed

But will aught be left, in the end?

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

You awaken in the clocktower. Your nightmares were tame this time…

…You aren’t that hungry. Why, again? Think…

▲ “Morning Sif.”

Oh. Isa’s here… You just noticed you’re holding them. Oh! You let go.

▲ “You’re all good Sif! Feeling better?”

Better… Right. You… You got out of the timeloop yesterday…

✦ “Y-yeah. Better.”

▲ “Good! Others are already up, we better join them! Don’t wanna miss breakfast.”

...Right. You imagine they have a bunch of questions. You… Didn’t talk much yesterday, after… all that. Just… wanted to rest…

You head downstairs, and see a bunch of groggy faces.

◆ “Morning Siffrin. Grab some food, Bonniface made extra so grab plenty.”

You nod, and grab a plate. You might be mostly okay, but you still grab extra. Could always eat more.

◉ “Please tell us at least ONE of us slept well?”

✦ “oh. uh. I guess you all didn’t?”

◆ “Nightmares all around, I’m afraid. Not a surprise, but breakfast certainly helps.”

✿ “Yeah! Chocolate chip waffles make anything better!”

◉ “Agreed, Thank you Bonnie.”

Oh, pun time!

✦ “Yeah. Thank you for… Chipping in.”

▲ “HA!! HAHA!!”

Bonnie and Odile groan, while Mira holds back a light chuckle.

You sit down and get a few bites in, taking the time to actually savor the food this time. First time in a while you could. You thought you’d had enough of sweet, after all that sugar scent from wishcraft, but you think this redeems it. Bonnie’s food is too good! And the eggs and bacon on the side is VERY nice…

◆ “… While we’re here, Siffrin, I know we held off asking too much yesterday, to give you a bit of a break. But I suppose now’s a good time to start asking things. Let’s start off with something light, how exactly does your diet actually work?”

Oh. Well, you suppose that this IS the most important question.

✦ “Um. Normal food helps, but I’ll likely have to go out hunting about every week, or maybe two weeks if I find something good. Animals for nutrients, Sadnesses for craft.”

◉ “Huh. We heard you ate sadnesses, but those are distinct?”

✦ “Kinda? I don’t recover craft very easy, so I grab sadnesses to refiill. But well. They're just saltwater? So it’s not very nutritious. Doesn’t help the body much.”

▲ “Wait you need sadnesses to recharge craft? Huh.”

✿ “Next question! How much food do I gotta make to keep up with hunting?”

Right, Bonnie won’t like this part.

✦ “Sorry, hunting's kinda important. Or at least some form of meat. I kinda can’t eat other stuff otherwise.”

✿ “Wait WHAT?! What's that mean?!”

✦ “I kinda have to make a fake stomach to eat normal food at all. Otherwise I can only eat meat, and I’ll struggle if it’s processed too much.”

◆ “Wait, does that mean normal food isn’t nutritious at all for you?”

✦ “No! It still helps, I just need to put a system in place. And it’s not as efficient as with normal people.”

◆ “Hm. If you’ve been relying on hunting this whole time, that explains your ‘off days’. So in that case! Let’s keep a supply of dried meats as backup in case hunting goes poorly. Maybe see if we can’t buy some wildlife bait, make things easier for you. And don’t have you bother with craft unless you’ve hunted some sadnesses.”

You nod, thankful.

You all continue to eat for a bit. You're glad there’s plenty of protein in this meal.

◉ “..T-There is. One thing. I think. Should be asked. B-But it’s a bit awkward, and maybe now’s not the best time, and-”

✦ “It’s okay, Mira. Just. I’d rather not have you worry.”

◉ “… Okay… It’s just… In that fight with Loop… They mentioned you um…”

She takes a bit of a deep breath.

◉ “You’re struggling with… the taste of… human.”

Everyone jumps a bit at that mention, yourself included. Oh stars, oh no, this is the one thing you are not prepared for! You have to take a second, you were trying not to focus on that!!

◉ “N-Not going to pry! I-It’s okay, and you don’t have to tell us anything! J-Just!… Is… Is there a way to make it… easier?”

You… They're still here with you, they're not running, it’s fine, it’s fine.

Just take a deep breath and don’t think too hard.

✦ “I… It’s okay. It’s… I’ve gotten better at… Ignoring it. But... The smell of blood is bad. Hard to ignore it now… But I’ll manage.”

Nobody knows how to respond. You all know, adventuring, battles often happen, and there’s rarely a fight with no blood…

▲ “...I’m sure we can think of something to at least help!”

◆ “Of course. We do still need to get supplies for the trip to Bambouche.”

You nod. The faster you avoid THIS topic the better. And you need a moment to breathe after that reminder.

✦ “I-i’ll see about helping the house with repairs…”

▲ “Gotcha! I’ll help Bonnie get a letter to Nille, so they know we’re coming. And look for any news to find out the best route.”

◉ “I’ll help Madame with Supplies. We have a lot to get and might need to search a bit for what we need.”

◆ “Alright. Where shall we meet up?”

… You want to go there before you leave.

✦ “… The favor tree?”

Everyone take’s a moment of silence before nodding.

Alright. Best go about it then.

>>>

You sit in front of the favor tree. The Spiderlily still retains it’s color. You wonder if it’s permanent? Or if it’ll fade into shades eventually… You hope it stays. So that no one can ignore it. A little marker of them. So people will look at it and, even if they don’t know why, respect it.

Helping fix the house went… easier then expected. They were mostly fine, had crafts and stuff to fix the worst of it, they just needed supplies. They were already prepared for damages from the king.

You used a bit of monster strength here and there to carry stuff around. And made use of that webbing ability to help scaffold once. Made sure to head into the woods and locate a deer after that though, just because it seemed like a good idea. Also you noticed their craft generator was really outdated, so you did some tinkering and gave it a few upgrades. Euphrasie thanked you herself for that!

...Not that it was all pretty. Some people, having unfrozen after you beat the king, saw what you turned the house into. And some had even seen the sadnesses, before you had them die. Some saw your monster features and put 2 and 2 together. Though, one person thought you were a victim of it, which was kinda funny… The rest were just scared…

But now you’re just here. Sitting next to where they sat. Thinking about everything that has happened...

◉ “Siffrin! You’re here already?”

✦ “Yeah.”

◉ “Hehe! Me too. Got some nice stuff, Odile’s just double checking…”

She sits down next to you, looking up at the tree.

◉ “...Kinda feels strange, doesn’t it? That all that could happen just because people made a few idle wishes at trees like this… I’ll admit to some curiosity as to how that works.”

✦ “If you like, when everyone gets back, I could do a lesson? I… The real Siffrin was kind of an expert on this stuff. Even designed the Favor tree ritual. For Vaugarde.”

You made sure to grab those books while in the house. Nobody minded, since no one else could even read them. Felt they were important.

◉ “Wait, really? For Vaugarde?… I guess it got some use, in a way. Even if it went bad.”

✦ “It normally doesn’t… Siffrin put a lot of work into it. And died before the people they wanted to use it ever got to know… I think they’d be glad it got some use at least.”

◉ “Well, if it makes you feel better, you could tell people how to do it? So it gets to live on a little!”

You nod. You’d like that a lot… You can still bring a little closure… In fact…

✦ “… Do you think everyone would like to try, before we leave?”

◉ “H-Huh?! I.. I mean, probably? If you don't mind then. I-I guess I wouldn’t mind myself… though I’ll have to think a bit to figure out what I want.”

✦ “Of course! We wouldn’t... leaf you out.”

Mira chuckles at that.

◉ “That’s so bad Siffrin!”

The others start to round the corner. Odile waves at you all, bags in tow.

◆ “Caught these two on their way back. They sent that letter, charted a route, and I got all the supplies. Though Boniface did come up with a few extra suggestions, so I’ll grab those before we go.”

▲ “What were you two talking about?”

◉ “Siffrin has a fun idea before we all leave!”

✦ “Yeah! But first, since you’re all here, want a proper lesson on wishcraft?”

◆ “Well, I’m not opposed, Loop only gave us the short version.”

✿ “The cool magic stuff?! Crab Yeah, I wanna know!”

▲ “I’m super interested! It comes from your home right? It’d be nice to know a bit more!”

You nod enthusiastically, and pull out the main book! Oh Stars your excited to do this again, you love talking about this, and this time they’ll remember it! Which means you can talk about extra stuff later!

◆ “Ah, You have a book ready and everything?”

✦ “Yeah, it’s all island speak so they didn’t mind giving it to me, since right now only I can read it.”

▲ “Oohh so this would be proper lost knowledge. I’m even more excited!”

Oh, lets do that teacher bit again, you liked doing that, actually.

✦ “Sit down, class, and we can begin!”

You get a few chuckles out of that. They take your seats and you begin.

You explain the stars, the constellations, the way the many worlds contribute to wishes, the way your world does the same, The way rituals are made, the way they're guided, the types there are to use. You make sure to let Bonnie know about the paper cranes, and on request, you also explain how the king did their wish. It brings a bit of a damper on things, but then you explain the wishing tree wish.

As you read it out, you see that that name and title, and it brings down your heart a bit.

▲ “Something wrong Sif?”

You… Guess you should mention it. Being quiet about things like this worked out poorly last time… And they kinda already know about what happened so...

✦ “It’s just. This ritual was made by the real Siffrin. And lists them by full name and title. And well… I didn’t know beforehand…”

◆ “Title? They were a notable figure then, I presume.”

✦ “… Crown Prince, Siffrin Polaris.”

✿ “WHAT!!!”

◉ “Wait, really?!”

✦ “Yeah… I don’t want to think about it too much…”

▲ “Oh. Fair enough, that must bring up some complicated feelings.”

◉ “… Okay. But I will have to show you something later!”

You nod, and close the book, putting them back away in your cloak. Your a little curious why Mira would have something to add to that, but… later.

✦ “Regardless, now that you know all of that, I have a favor to ask!”

◆ “Really? I’m interested, what do you have in mind?”

✦ “The original Siffrin made that ritual as a gift for Vaugarde, and as such, I’d like my fellow saviors to be the first to learn, and more notably, properly use it! So, before we leave town today, If any of you have an idea for a wish, I ask that you do so!”

✿ “Coolest! Homework! Ever!!”

▲ “Hm… I’m gonna have to think for a bit.”

◆ “I presume that does NOT include yourself, given everything?”

You nod. You think you’ve had enough wishcraft to last several lifetimes. Helping others do it is okay, fun even! But STARS you are never doing it again.

◉ “It should be something small, just in case! But it has to be something we care about.”

✿ “Well, I already asked to see Nille already, and don’t wanna double wish. Specially since everyone else got theirs granted, so I don’t wanna mess that up.”

Huh, they did, didn’t they? Isa saved you, Mira helped save Vaugarde, and Odile won their coinflip. Strange, they didn’t do the ritual right, but it still worked out? Weird! Maybe it’s enough that they visited the tree?

✿ “I’ll just think of something else!”

◆ “Hm… I’ll go ahead and do mine now then, I’ve had an idea for one for a bit now.”

Odile gets up, and starts looking around the tree for a leaf. She eventually finds a very smooth, flattened one, and whispers into it four times, then lets it go on the wind. As it flies off into the breeze, you smell a bit of sugar.

Suddenly, in a bright gleam, a book appears in her hands.

◆ “Well then! That’s efficient.”

✿ “WOAH!!!!!”

◉ “That’s So Cool!!”

▲ “Oh that is so crabbing awesome.”

She flips through the pages quickly.

◆ “Hm, yes, this is exactly what I needed, and seems to come with the side bonus of being able to read Islander… And this frankly terrible handwriting, Gems.”

✦ “Islander? What did you wish for?”

She raises up the book, and shows you the title.

Project Starchild Research Notes, by Siffrin.

◆ “Wished to know more about YOU, of course. Should save us some time. And already, some intriguing details, right on the cover!”

◉ “Really, like what?”

◆ “For starters, these notes are about a ‘Project Starchild’. Which gives some ideas for your origins, doesn’t it? And the fact it was written by the original Siffrin… Makes me wonder if you remembering them isn’t a coincidence.”

▲ “Hey, might even get to know a bit about your past! That could be nice!”

◆ “And help mitigate some concerns you may have. With that done, Anyone want to go next?”

Everyone thinks for a bit, now putting a bit more effort into their ideas…

◉ “Oh! I think I have an idea! It’d be really hard to do normally, but it should be simple enough!”

Mirabelle looks around for a leaf, and picks a very round leaf. Avid follower of Change as usual! She breathes her wish into the leaf three times, and lets it go onto the wind.

You smell sugar again... And then suddenly, a powerful floral scent?! Mira’s stumbles to the ground.

✦ “Mira!? Are you okay?!”

You rush to her side, and briefly see… A hint of violet in her eyes?

◉ “I-I’m okay! I don’t know what just happened?”

Huh?!???? Her voice! It… You can hear it in that sound only you can hear!!!

✦ “Mira. What did you wish for?”

◉ “I-I just wanted to know more about the Change God! You said we met them, and It got me thinking and… Is something bad, was that not Okay?!”

… OH. Wait a second… Her voice sounds familiar.

✦ “… You’re good. It’s just uh. Your voice. I wasn’t expecting that.”

◉ “Huh? My voice?… Wait, it does sound different? Why would that be the case?”

✦ “… It sounds like the Change Gods.”

▲ “Huh?!? It sounds normal to me?!”

✦ “It’s kinda in this sound normal people can’t hear. But this seems an odd way to fulfill that wish, and wishcraft doesn’t smell so floral normally...”

◆ “… Did the Change God interfere? If Mirabelle gained a trait of the change god then…”

Mirabelle’s expression goes to a mild nervous panic.

◉ “...Oh Change, what did they do to me?”

Heh. In hindsight, this sees fairly in character for them. Even when talking with you, they were often fairly light-hearted, and they did like Mira a bunch.

✦ “Looks like the change god is quite the trickster!”

◉ “Only for the best effect! (⌒▽⌒)☆”

Mirabelle covers her mouth in surprise. You all just sort of look at her in surprise. She waits a few seconds before speaking again.

◉ “T-That was them… wasn’t it?”

✦ “Yep…”

◆ “Ah. I presume that means… You’ve literally become part change.”

She just stands there unmoving, frozen stiff, before letting out a massive sigh.

◉ “Oh no….”

▲ “I, for one, accept our new Demigod!”

◆ “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it quiet, lest rumors about you get worse.”

◉ “Please! I don’t think my heart could take it!”

Well. That wish didn’t go as smoothly as you’d like, but you can’t exactly blame the ritual for that.

✦ “Okay, lesson learned, don’t make wishes involving the Change god.”

▲ “… But. If it can contact beings like that… Then maybe… I think I know what I’m gonna wish for.”

✦ “What do you mean?”

▲ “I know you said just wish for small stuff but… I have to try this.”

◉ “Please don’t do anything rash!”

▲ “Don’t worry, this should be fine!”

Isa looks through the leaves, finds a leaf already bent in half, and whispers their wish five times into the leaf.

As they let it into the wind. You feel something stir. As Isa begins to glow Red…

And promptly collapses!

▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲

What the… What happened? You felt weirdly faint and then… Where are you?

It’s dark all around. You don’t even see the ground.

You feel something behind you. You turn, and see a single, massive eye, in that strange shade, towering over you as it stares at you. It’s bigger then the whole crabbing house!!! And… It’s no normal eye. It’s like Sif’s new ones but. It’s like one horizontal slit, with multiple vertical ones across it. But still oddly star-like. Speaking of stars, you see many start to fill the space around you.

A feminine yet otherworldly voice echoes through every fiber of your being.

✧ “Greetings. Child of Mankind. You have made… a Most interesting Wish.”

You don’t know how to respond. Crab, you don’t even know who this is!! Your heart is pounding out of your chest. Crab, Crab, Crab this isn’t good!!!!

✧ “I am the Empress Arcana. And I have chosen to take charge of your wish. For while you wish to speak with one of my fellow fragments… Another has made a wish that may be merged with yours, if you are willing to accept.”

Okay, breath, breathe. You gotta do this for Loop. You aren’t leaving any version of Sif alone.

▲ “Uh.. I uh. Just wanted to talk to Loop. Wasn’t… expecting this.”

✧ “The one you knew as Loop has become one with the Fool Arcana. And while your wish may grant you but a handful of words, so detached from reality as we are… Someone has wished for me to grant another true Communion. To Give another the Royal Blessing.”

...You’d only get one talk with Loop otherwise?… No, they deserve better then that! You won’t let them be alone.

▲ “… I’ll hear you out. What’s this involve?”

✧ “You would be given the power to call to us, your very Blood infused with my own power. And if need be, summon us into the world, at a price. Even without us present, we will expend no cost to keep you alive. And when we ARE summoned, the power of the universe itself will be at your beck and call. For in doing this, you would become our hope.”

▲ “Your hope?”

✧ “We Arcana were once one. And we yearn to be whole again. We can only do so when all of us are returned to the world at once. You need not summon us all yourself, your gentle heart would not willingly shed such blood.

✧ “But… This blessing can be passed down through your bloodline. And if even one of them lives, then there is a chance we may return.”

This… Is way more then you were bargaining for. Dangerous power, costly prices, and a hell of a duty… But you guess, Someone’s gonna have to do it. And given Loop’s one of them now, maybe It’ll help them out. They took on rougher stuff for you all anyways.

▲ “…That’s… a heavy responsibility… But. I guess. Loop deserves my best, for all they did for us. So, okay.”

✧ “There are two caveats. One knowledge you should know. And one a task you must complete.”

You breathe in and out. Change, Isa, you really have gotten into something way bigger then you should have...

… But you knew something like this might happen, the moment you made that wish. You knew that whatever Loop dabbled in to become whatever they were, it wasn’t gonna be pretty. But you aren’t gonna back down now.

▲ “Alright, I’m ready.”

✧ “First. I know not who made this wish for a New Royal Blessing. There are few who even know of such things. And to give this much power yet evade us… They will have plans. Plans that you will be wrapped into. And We may not protect you from this if it serves our interests. We sadly cannot afford to.”

Harsh. But… You get it. They need this… You get the feeling they don’t have many options.

▲ “Alright. That’s okay, We can handle it.”

✧ “Indeed. Even if we cannot protect you… I know the fallen star you cherish will… it is good they found you. They deserve your kind heart.”

Fallen star?...Do they mean Sif? Madame did mention they might be a 'starchild', but what does that mean?

✧ “Finally, my task… We do not give this blessing lightly. We cannot risk it on the weak. You must prove yourself strong enough to follow this path…"

Oh you do not like the sound of that...

✧ “To defeat me would be unfair. So. I simply ask that you survive my trial. But do not think I will be merciful. If you fail. Your life is forfeit.”

You watch as titanic claws of twisted pale flesh, adorned with Gold and gemstones, eyes and faces peering from the skin’s surface. You tremble, you have no idea what the crab you can even do about this!!!

You hesitate knowing this will be very dangerous. You’re putting your whole life on the line…

But the sheer thought. Of ANY version of Sif. ESPECIALLY one that’s gone through as much as they have. Being stuck. Alone?...

You know this is your last chance to back out but…

▲ “...Okay. Let’s do this.”

You raise your fists. You will win this.

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

You try and shake Isa awake!! Nonononono Please please let them be okay!! Blind it you should have stopped them! Shouldn’t have asked any of this! Please!! Let them be Okay!!!

Wait… You watch as Isa’s hair alights a bright Red for a brief second! And then, when it fades, it seems like a slightly darker shade then before?

He opens his eyes, now a matching shade to his hair.

▲ “...Hey Sif. Sorry for scaring you.”

You cry. Blind it! Blind him for scaring you like that!

◆ “Gems Alive, what did you even wish for that could have caused that?!”

Isa coughs up some blood! Stars!!!

▲ “Sorry, I uh. Just kinda fought a god? I think? No idea what that was.”

◉ “I have SEVERAL questions?!???”

▲ “Sorry! Sorry. I just. I wished to be able to talk to Loop. Turns out, that’s a complicated situation. But hey, I think I should be able to talk to them whenever now!… Might want to wait till I’ve recovered though.”

He wished for?… Of course. He really cares about you. EVERY version of you… That he’d go so far…

✦ “Please don’t do that again…”

▲ “Course Sif. I Promise! Sides, kinda part of the contract... I’ll explain later!”

Mirabelle gives Isa some healing, and they sit down in a comfy spot.

✿ “… You all picked funny wishes. Guess I gotta do this wish!”

Bonnie goes up to the tree, and grabs a leaf with a few worm bites taken out of it. They whisper something into it six times, and then let it go into the wind.

You smell sugar, but nothing happens. Bonnie looks unfazed.

✿ “Aw. Kinda hopin something would happen. Guess it’ll just kick in later.”

✦ “What did you wish for?”

✿ “Well you had to deal with a lot of stuff that none of us remember. And it’s super crabbin annoying, cause we can’t talk about it!”

✿ “So I just did the smart thing and just wished to member it.”

...Bonnie… Wants to remember. The timeloop? Oh no...

▲ “Oh that isn’t good.”

✿ “I know it’s not gonna be nice, Frin had a bad time, but somebody’s gotta know bout it! Sides, it can’t be that crabbin bad!”

Odile points at the spiderlily. STARS you didn’t even consider that, and you were already about to gag from your own memories.

✿ “Oh. Crab. Right.. Do those count? I mean, they kinda stopped bein Frin, so...”

◆ “I suppose you’ll find out, probably.”

You still can’t get that blinding taste out of your mouth, you feel like you're going to choke, it’s hard to think. Breathe. Breathe.

◉ “Siffrin?”

Blind, it you… You have to warn them!

✦ “B-Bonnie. I… Even if they don’t, it’s… It’s not good. Mine weren’t… You… The king!”

▲ “Hey, Sif, calm down, it’s okay, it’ll be fine.”

✿ “Yeah, It’s okay, I knew it was gonna be bad, you can tell me later if I need to know, once we see if the crabbin wish did anything!”

Later. Okay. Later. They're right. Maybe they won’t even remember it, and it’ll just be a vague thing. You take some breaths, in and out, try not to think about that BLINDING memory. Shove it into the back of your mind. Don’t think about it, Don’t think about it.

◆ “Sigh Well, at least every wish got granted in some form, far as I can tell. Can’t deny it’s effectiveness, even if… Some of them were complicated.”

✦ “… Yeah, I think… That’s enough wishcraft for today. Lets… let’s head back to the clocktower for now.”

Everyone nods. As you walk away from the tree. You wonder if doing this was worth it in the end…

>>>

As you all rest in the clocktower, Most of you just resting from your exertions, while Bonnie makes some lunch. Mirabelle seems to be thinking really hard, trying to figure out her weird connection. Isa is nearly passed out from… whatever he just did. And Odile is flipping through her book.

◉ “… Um, Siffrin? I have an odd question. It might seem a little out of the blue but… I think, at some point yesterday, you mentioned having lost people you cared about?”

Oh…

◉ “S-Sorry! I know it... Must be a sore spot. I wouldn’t ask normally but… I kinda feel like it’s important?”

✦ “...Right. Change god did remind me of them in the first place. I had… honestly forgotten about them. Hard to remember anything from my old home.”

◆ “It must be rough. A few names do pop up in this book though… But I’m curious what you remember of them?”

✦ “Barely anything… Oh! But I do have a picture of at least one of them!”

You pull out that special device. Can’t remember what it’s called, still.

✿ “Woah! That looks fancy!”

Bonnie walks out with some nice grilled cheese sandwiches and soup.

✦ “Yeah! I can’t remember exactly what all it does, but I do know it can store pictures and stuff! I have a picture from when I lived on the Island here, but I can’t browse the rest of it, cause it gives me headaches.”

◉ “Oh! I wanna see!”

▲ “Absolutely, I wanna see young Sif! And their friend!”

You turn on the device as your family gathers round. They look at the pigtailed woman, and the old version of you.

They're about to make comments when suddenly, a weird symbol pops up on screen.

✦ “Huh? What’s tha-”

The device flashes with an odd light, and you all suddenly feel a bit dizzy.

◆ “Gah, gems, what was that?!”

◉ “I think it was some kind of craft?”

And right when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder, the device starts shaking, and an icon pulls up, with text in your home language next to it, and another picture of the pigtailed woman.

Call from Re. Answer?

✦ “Call from?…”

But… Who would even be able to call you? That’s impossible…

… You hit answer. You have to know...