#but I can't take melatonin because I have to be up semi-early for an Important Thing but if I try to sleep now it will take some time
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When Lauren Aquilina said, "And if I'm being honest, I'm starting to scare myself."
#I...don't know if I can come back from this I fear.#I need to go to sleep but also I've convinced myself that I don't actually deserve that so.#ugh no okay sleep deprivation technically counts as a torture practice and no one deserve that even if they're the worst person alive#OKAY FINE.#but I can't take melatonin because I have to be up semi-early for an Important Thing but if I try to sleep now it will take some time#which means Being Alone With My Thoughts and I'd rather eat hot coals#like. I actually think I am genuinely not okay. I think I need. help. but. maybe I CAN'T be helped. maybe I'm just. Wrong™.#maybe I was ALWAYS Wrong™.#maybe there was never any hope for me being anything else#drunk blogging#my god she wouldn't even miss me if I was gone. what the FUCK am I supposed to do with that.
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