#business bay! tommy

[atomicraft]

this image wouldve singlehandedly sent us into fucking cardiac arrest in 2019

[theminecraftbee]

Normally, traitors aren’t frog-marched to the Emperors themselves, regardless of what rank of information they had. These aren’t normal circumstances, though, Techno bemoans to himself. For one, the man is refusing to speak anything but French and a tiny amount of broken Bayesh. For another, on being made, he immediately handed over about three folders of classified information then loudly waited for handcuffs to be put on him.

Phil is lounging in his throne; he’d never been one for propriety. This leaves Techno to be, uh, the actually serious one. The one adorned in uniform, sitting and glowering down. It’s lucky that the traitor isn’t a pigman, because Techno isn’t actually great at glowering, but humans are weird about pigman facial expressions so he should be fine?

The traitor stands before them and grins. In perfect Bayesh, he says: “Finally. It took way too long for you to catch me, bitch.”

Techno pauses. He stares. In Piglish, he barks to his guards: “Everyone out. It’s Leader business.”

They file out. They’ll be waiting outside. Phil straightens in his seat and reaches for his own sword.

Techno, laboriously, drags his hand across his face. He switches back to Bayesh. God, does he regret being fluent in multiple languages sometimes. “What are you doing here, Tommy.”

“Showing you your intelligence weak points, fucker. Do you know how easy it is to slip Bayesh spies in here? I was smooth. A smooth customer. I was hearing classified milkitary secrets—”

“You were caught within two hours,” Techno says.

“That’s—that’s just what you think, innit?” Tommy says. Phil laughs. He’s the real traitor here.

“Tommy. I don’t wanna have to cause an international incident, but I’ve had a really long day, so if you just tell me who hired you to run a spy op, and why you decided it was a good idea to run it yourself, instead of sending one of your experts…”

“No one,” Tommy says.

“Hey, don’t lie you little shit. Techno might not want to start an incident but I don’t care,” Phil says. He grins and holds up his sword. “You wanna wake up in a jail cell and reveal some secrets? We may all be Leaders but it won’t stop torture from hurting.”

“What the fuck, Phil,” Tommy says.

“No one’s torturing anyone. We’ll just bomb them later if we must,” Techno says.

“And I wasn’t lying. It’s—can I take the wig off by the way? It fucking itches.”

“I despise you.”

Tommy takes off the black wig, revealing his blonde hair. “Anyway, I don’t want to work with you guys either, so I figured I’d get your attention by like, acting like we’re enemies and stuff. Got hired for espionage enough back in the day to pick up that much.”

“Who the fuck wanted you as a spy?” Phil asks.

“Fuck you,” Tommy says and doesn’t elaborate.

“Please just tell us what you want,” Techno says. “Please. I can’t handle this much you at any given time.”

“This needs to be Leader to Leader,” Tommy says, and something heavy laces his words. The hairs on Techno’s arms stand up.

“You coulda asked,” he says, in one final desperate bid for normality.

“No, I couldn’t have,” Tommy says. “I think Chip’s dead.”

Techno doesn’t notice that he’s standing until he is.

“What?”

“Yeah,” Tommy says. “Yeah. And, uh, I fucking. Need your help to figure out what happened. Before we get blamed. And I know, politically, you’ve got no reason, but if we don’t figure out—”

Techno sits back down, heavy.

“I know you understand Piglish. Let me talk in my native language. Phil.”

“Yeah, mate?”

“Go get the stuff.”

Phil’s eyes darken. “Right. That. Well, I’ll be back.”

Tommy’s voice, for the first time since Techno met him as a newly-minted Leader, standing on a wooden bench and yelling about executions, is small.

“You believe me?” he says.

“Why else would you come here?” Techno asks. “Not like we like you.”

“Good, because I’m shit at infiltrations. Would have been embarrassing if you, like, didn’t know your enemy well enough to know that,” Tommy says. He’s saying something else underneath it. Techno is neither good enough at Bayesh or at Tommy to guess what.

“Let’s work out an excuse to make a treaty. And you tell me everything.”

[conarcoin]

you’re as cold as ice.

[kingdom-creatin]

the timeline

If you've ever wondered just what the hell I was doing with the fics I was putting out and this timeline I kept talking about, this is what I meant lol

It's actually got quite a few more characters listed out to the right but for the sake of relevancy and size I just kept the first few columns.

The notes are either specific key events or (italicized) published fics. I started making this into an actual timeline sheet just a bit before I dropped out of the fandom entirely so I haven't been able to flesh it out as much as I like, but now that I feel like getting back into stuff I'm sure it will populate pretty quickly lol

Color meanings (majorly as relevant to Techno and his pov):

Maroon - Living in the Nether

Soft Green - Traveling with Phil

Yellow - Living in Hypixel

Blue - SMPE and the Antarctic Empire

Neon Green - DSMP

Red - If an MCM was held that year; If the character participated in an MCM that year

Black - Character is not yet born or is dead

[risingsunresistance]

content creators i am Begging you to stop putting the cool part of your designs on the BACK of the shirt. when did we start making this the most popular option. stop. i want to be able to wear a jacket.

[kuuyooo]

The lack of business bay fanfics on ao3 is absolutely killing me and destroying me from the inside out.

[fandom-venturer]

thoughts on c!tommy having a loom bands phase.

YES!

I've had this headcanon for a while but just on the corner of my mind. I was thinking about it since people headcanon him with devoloping sewing or knitting as a habit because of the motion and stuff.

I imagine this could've been something c!tommy had taken a liking to before the smp.

At first he thinks it's one of those bands used for hair or braids until one kid was bragging about the loom band kit they aquired and teaches the others how to use it and gives it away too. It's not something he could afford much mainly because he doesn't really know where to get them so I guess he somehow acquired some bands from other people who was showing off their sets- so basically he'd just have bands and a hook and he'd have to taken turns with the others in using the kit which results in him only knowing how to do the bracelets AND having no pattern in colors while making it cuz he wants to have every color.

He puts little trinkets he finds on the streets along with his loom bands for design and even pick up some stray loom bands he finds and try to make a makeshift hook or kit. Sometimes he tries replicating it with rubber bands because those are easier to find but it doesn't have the same effect. He still wears them though! He does. Proudly. In every wear he goes, his arms are filled with chaos of colors and patterns.

In the period where loom bands loose popularity- he finds an abandoned set for loom bands. Complete with a kit and two bags of the bands, in a box, feels like a gold mine. (There's even an instruction too for different types of things you can do! He was very proud with making the ring ones but he makes the bracelets more because they're easier to wear.)

By the time he got to the smp, there are only few people whom he had given loom bands and even seen him wear it. One of them was c!Wilbur, but he hadn't thought much about it since he didn't know the kid that much when he received it.

The first revolution happens and he never touched it again.

During pogtopia, c!Wilbur sometimes thinks about what happened to the loombands, even the one he had. (It's tucked away in his orange jacket, the one he wore when he first got in the smp) c!Tubbo wore his before the 16th happened. (He figured he better hide it after the incident he had in the podium.) c!Fundy vaguely remembers being given one, he doesn't know whom it's from but it was a ring. He's pretty sure he's hidden it with his old stuff. (Similarly with cNikki, cEret, cJack)

In exile, cTommy picks up knitting and even puts little trinkets he found on the beach with it. (It's familiar, he doesn't know why.)

His arms covered with once bright, but dulled overtime, blue wool of the cardigan. (It feels familiar, he doesn't know why.)

The kit picks up dust deep down the enderchest, just below the bedrock he matches with Techno.

In Utah, cWilbur in his orange jacket, while trying to pick up his lighter in his pockets, instead pulled a loom band. His mind goes back to the boy who's arms were covered in blue wool when he got revived. (It's familiar, he now knows why.)

[noodlebel]

This is SO FRICKEN COOL!!!

Quick view of Tommy's level

You can check out Wilburs here!

[apollos-boyfriend]

obligatory bi-monthly business bay down post

[honeyedmiller]

A Burning Desire part two

firefighter!joel x f!reader

rating: 18+ minors dni

warnings: joel miller au, mentions of food / eating, literally so much tooth-rotting fluff it’s actually sickening, reader can sit on joel’s lap, mutual pining, kissing, dry humping, no use of y/n.

word count: 6.2k

synopsis: joel takes you on your first date with him.

a/n: special thank you to @punkshort for the meeting at the firehouse idea and for letting me ramble about the infinite ideas i have for this story in our dms. i appreciate the heck outta you

part one here

The summer sun gleamed on you as you made your way up to the firehouse he worked at. The big red doors were open and inviting, the shiny red trucks sitting perfectly still in the apparatus bay as you shyly stepped into the building. 

You carried a tray of cookies you made yourself, wanting to give it to the team as a thank you for being on the scene of your accident and getting you out safely. Well, they were mostly for Joel, Tommy, and the EMT’s. You weren’t able to see Joel in a few days and it drove you sort of crazy, so this was a perfectly good excuse. Joel would probably get teased by his coworkers again, and you’d probably get brought into the mix. It didn’t matter if it meant you got to see him.

It was odd, admitting that to yourself. You’d been single and alone for so long that you were used to the feeling of loneliness, but after meeting Joel, it genuinely sucked not being in his presence. You’ve only known the man for about a week, which made you feel even crazier for feeling this way. 

The way you felt around him was almost unexplainable. Light. Happy. You didn’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not, which you had to do more often than not with your job. 

Being around Joel Miller was like a tall glass of the purest, most refreshing water on Earth. 

“Hey miss, can I help you?” A kind voice snaps you back to reality. The man was wiping his hands with a dish rag, a small smile on his face as he eyed what you had in your hands. 

“Uh– yeah, actually, I came to drop these off for everyone. And uh– is Joel available?” 

You didn’t know why you suddenly felt so shy. Maybe you were just worried as to what his coworkers would think about you coming to his job to ask to see him. 

The man had a knowing smirk on his face and nodded. 

“Ah, so you must be Miller’s mystery woman,” He laughs, jutting his chin up the steps. “He’s up there. Follow me.” 

Your face heats up from his words. Joel talks about you to them? 

You follow him up the stairs to the second floor where the lounge area and kitchen were. Many of them were gathered at the kitchen table while they ate, and a few others were playing a video game in the lounge area. 

“Hey Miller.” The man calls out, and first Tommy turns around with a piece of garlic bread hanging out of his mouth as he plates what looks like lasagna. You have to stifle a laugh at the confused look on his face, but then your heart skips a beat when your eyes land on Joel. 

He’s writing something down in a book, and he looks up at the man before his eyes flit to you. A grin spreads on his lips as you give him a shy smile and a small wave. He stands up from the table he was sitting at after capping his pen, making his way over to you. 

“Darlin’, this is such a nice surprise. Whatcha doin’ here?” He brings you into a hug, and catches himself refraining from giving you a kiss of any sort. He already got enough teasing from his coworkers and brother. 

“I made cookies for everyone. As a thank you, you know, for getting me out of that nasty accident.” 

His eyes soften at your words, eyebrows furrowing together as he takes the plate from your hand. 

“That’s so sweet of you. Thank you. I know these goons over here will devour these.” He motions his head to his coworkers behind him. 

You laugh as you look behind him, all of his coworkers' heads turned your way as they watch the interaction between you two. 

“You busy later tonight?” His voice drops a few octaves, setting the plate on the counter before he coaxes you to follow him downstairs again. 

“Nope. Just watching reruns of The Bachelor.” 

Joel quirks a brow at your show choice with a smile laced onto his lips. 

“Would you mind if I stopped by later? I feel bad I haven’t been able to see you.” 

“Don’t feel bad, Joel. I know you work odd hours,” You pause as he takes you into the locker rooms for some more privacy, away from prying eyes. “But of course you can come over. I’d love the company.” 

“Great. Maybe I can pick up some take-out and we can eat it at your place?” He’s hopeful with a sparkle in his eyes that makes your stomach flutter, once again. 

“Sounds great. I’ll text you the address when you get off work.” 

“I look forward to seein’ you. Y’know, away from nosey people.” He chuckles, referring to his coworkers. You admire the crinkle around his eyes when he smiles. 

“I look forward to it too, Joel,” You lean in and press your lips to his cheek. “I’ll see you later, cowboy.” You give him a wink before turning around to walk off, leaving him standing there with the goofiest grin plastered on his face. 

-

A few hours had passed by since you stopped off at the firehouse, and you were tidying up last minute things before Joel came over. 

You hadn’t had someone over at your place in a long time besides family, so a part of you wanted to impress him a little. 

He’d be over any minute now and you couldn’t stop your heart from racing. You don’t know what it was, but Joel just made you so nervous in the best way possible. You felt like a teenager all over again with a crush you’d giggle with your friends about—but in this case, it was your sister. 

Just as you finished fluffing up the last pillow on the couch, you heard a knock on your door. 

You checked through the peephole just to be sure it was Joel, and when you saw it was, you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your lips. You open the door to him wearing more casual clothes, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his biceps really well, holding a bag of takeout in his hand. 

“Hey darlin’.” He greets you with a smile on his face, and you move aside to let him in. 

“Hey Joel.” You close the door after he’s in, locking the top lock before turning around to face him. 

“Where should I set up this gourmet feast?” He teases, wiggling his eyebrows as he holds up the bag of Chinese food. 

You huff a laugh and nod toward the dining room table. “There’s fine. Let me get some plates.” 

You make your way to the cabinets in your kitchen, pulling down two plates for the both of you before you turn around, only to be met with the close proximity of Joel. You gasp and look at him, biting your lip to keep from smiling. 

Goddamn teenager. 

“So, I figured out where I wanna take ya for our first date.” He starts, leaning against the counter.

“I thought this was our first date.” You blink, eyes shifting to the delicious smelling Chinese food sitting on your dining room table just waiting to be devoured. 

Joel snorts and crosses his arms, “You kiddin’ me? As much as I like bein’ in your company, this ain’t a date, darlin’. You deserve better than a half-assed plan to eat takeout and watch that one show you like.” 

You look down at your socked feet, having never really felt like a priority anytime you were involved romantically with someone. You barely even know this man and he’s already shown more effort toward you than some men of your past. 

“Baby, look at me,” Joel tilts your chin up again so your gaze meets his, and he gives you a soft smile that makes your insides absolutely melt. “As long as I’m around, I’m gonna make sure you feel important. It’s the least you deserve.” 

And you want to believe him, so fucking bad. There’s this stupid nagging voice in the back of your head telling you that what he’s saying isn’t true—you don’t deserve to feel important and being single was the best decision you could’ve made for yourself. 

You force those thoughts to drown for now, focusing on him and his gentle gaze. 

“Thank you.” You give him a small smile, and his hand moves to cup your cheek, swiping his thumb back and forth. 

“‘Course. But, I gotta get somethin’ off my chest before we take this whole datin’ thing any further.” 

You furrow your brows, and the way his gaze shifts to a pleading look makes you nervous. What could it possibly be? 

“I know this ain’t for everyone, and I understand if you don’t wanna see me anymore after this–” He pauses, lips twisting to the side as his eyes move to the ground, “But I really hope this doesn’t change what we got goin’ on. I really do like you, darlin’.” 

“What is it, Joel?” You can’t even concentrate on the sweet words that just oozed out of his mouth. Your stomach was coiling into an unwanted knot, endless possibilities of what he has to say in mind. 

“I have a daughter.” 

That’s what he was worried about? Oh. 

“Oh wow, that’s amazing, Joel. Why would you think I wouldn’t want to see you after you told me this?” You’re the one reassuring him now, gently grabbing his face in your hands before swiping your thumbs over the stubble on his jaw. 

“You’d be surprised how many women have run for the hills after I’ve told them that.” A sad chuckle bubbles from his throat, and you lean forward to kiss his nose. 

“Not this one, cowboy.” 

-

Joel didn’t tell you a single thing about where he was taking you. All he told you was to dress comfortably for the hot weather and wear some walking shoes, so you opted for a tank top and jeans with rips at the knees and your comfiest shoes. 

You heard a knock on the front door of your apartment, and you eagerly checked the peephole before opening up the door. You grinned at Joel, but stopped short when you saw him wearing a Stetson. 

Fuck, he looked so good.

“Howdy.” He greets in true cowboy fashion, and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles in your throat. 

“Howdy there, cowboy.” You flick the brim of his hat teasingly before grabbing your purse, locking up as you both head down to his truck. 

“So you’re still not gonna tell me where we’re heading to?” You ask once you’re both buckled in, and the truck roars to life. 

“You’ll see in a few minutes. Jus’ wanted to surprise you a little for our first… of hopefully many… dates.” He mumbles the last part under his breath, but your heart rate accelerates knowing he wanted to continue to see you. 

Soft tunes play within the confines of the cab of the truck and you look out of your window. It was all flatlands for a few miles, and then you both hit a bit of traffic, but you could easily see the huge ferris wheel from where you were at. 

You gasped as you sat straight in your seat, eyes shooting to Joel. “You’re taking me to the state fair?” You couldn’t contain your excitement. You absolutely loved the nostalgia the fair brought you, and you hadn’t been in a few years. 

“Mhm.” He says, tugging at his shirt collar with his index finger nervously. 

You grin and lean over the center console, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you. I’m so excited.” 

Joel smiles at your words and reaches for your hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“I’m glad. I was hopin’ you’d be into this idea. I know it’s not a traditional first date in any sense, but I gotta keep ya on your toes.” Joel winks at you, and you toss your head back with a laugh. 

“Miller, you’ve done that since the first words we spoke to each other at Rosemary’s. I know we’ve only known each other a short time, but I really do like you and it’s nice to be in the company of someone who actually puts thought into things like this. It means a lot.” 

“‘M glad you feel that way, darlin’. It means a great deal that you think so highly of me.” His tone is playful, but his words are sincere. 

“Only ‘cus you literally saved me from being trapped in my car. No biggie.” You huff a laugh, and he wraps his right arm around your shoulder to give your body a light shake. 

You both sit in a comfortable silence before making it to the parking lot. Once you find a parking spot, you  practically drag Joel to the ticket booth to purchase admission into the fair. He couldn’t help but laugh and admire your eagerness. 

“Okay,” He starts, looking at you with hopeful eyes. “Where to first?” 

“I’m actually pretty hungry. Wanna start off with food?” You ask him, and he nods immediately. You link your hand with his, and he lets you keep your fingers interlocked, so you lead him toward the so-called food court of the fair. 

The array of smells coming from every which way had you practically salivating. You ended up getting some wings and fries with a side of fried pickles, while Joel got a turkey leg and blooming onion. 

You make your way to a table and settle in, diving into your food. You push your plate of fried pickles toward Joel, and he happily plucks a couple off the plate and pops them into his mouth. 

“I swear there’s nothing on this Earth like fair food.” He hums, shaking his head as he chews on another fried pickle. 

“Agreed,” You say, eating a couple of fried pickles yourself before you speak up again. “So, tell me about Sarah, if you’d like.” 

Joel’s eyes avert to yours at the mention of her name, and the biggest smile overtakes his features. His eyes crinkle in pure happiness and he’s elated that you want to hear about his baby girl. 

“She’s so charismatic. Most sure fourteen year old you’d ever meet,” He starts with a grin as he begins to gather all the intel about his daughter so he can tell you exactly what she’s like. “She’s so smart, n’ I’m not jus’ sayin’ that ‘cus I’m her dad, but she really does carry such intelligence. She’s witty, funny, sarcastic, and just so damn bright. She easily captivates a crowd in a room with her wit n’ charm, which she obviously gets from me.” Joel boasts with a proud look on his face before shooting you a wink. 

You can’t help but giggle at the way he jokes, but you deeply admire the way he talks about her. You can tell she’s his whole world and more, and seeing a father love his daughter as much as he does warms your heart immensely. 

Joel was starting to show his heart on his sleeve. It was like uncovering invisible ink inch by inch. 

“She sounds absolutely wonderful. I’m sure she keeps you on your toes.” 

“She absolutely does.” He can’t help the pride that blooms in his chest. Raising her as a single parent wasn’t easy, but he made do. He thought he did a pretty good job. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Sarah’s mom?” Joel gave you a sad smile, and maybe that wasn’t territory you should’ve crossed, you think. 

“She left shortly after Sarah was born. Didn’t wanna deal with bein’ a parent so young n’ all. I might’ve raised her all by myself, but her n’ I grew up together. She’s taught me endless love and so much patience.” 

“Oh Joel, I’m sorry–” He shakes his head, stopping you mid-sentence. 

“It’s okay, darlin’. Sarah n’ I navigate life together. That’s just how it is. We’re so used to it that having her mother in the picture would honestly be very weird.” He plucks another fried pickle from your plate, popping it into his mouth with a sly grin. You can’t help but return the smile. 

“Well, thank you for sharing that with me. I’m sure it probably wasn’t easy.” 

Joel shrugs, “It got easier to talk about overtime. Sarah n’ I are great.” 

“Does she know you’re on a date right now?” You’re curious. You don’t want to be the person that suddenly barges into their lives and disrupts their routine or anything. Sarah sounds so sweet, and the last thing you wanted was to intervene between the two. 

“She does, actually. She’s been hecklin’ me to go out n’ date again. She’s on the varsity soccer team at school n’ since she spends so much time with her team, she didn’t want me to be lonely. She was excited when I told her I was goin’ on a date today.” 

“She just wants you to be happy,” You say, and he nods. “Don’t blame her. I’d want the same for you, too.” 

“I am happy. You make me happy. Don’t know what it is about you that’s got me feelin’ so crazy inside. Feels like I’m a teenage boy again.” Joel laughs, and your eyes widen, because that’s exactly how you feel. 

“Joel, that’s—”

You heard your name being called from a short distance away, and your head swiveled around to lock eyes with none other than your sister. 

“Shit.” You say under your breath, and Joel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What’s the matter?” He asks, but before you could answer, your sister and her fiancé stroll up to the table. 

“Hey sis! Didn’t know you’d be here today.” She has a shit-eating grin on her face, like she just caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. 

“Didn’t know you’d be here either.” You give her a tight-lipped smile, eyes shifting to the man standing beside her. 

“Hi Josh.” You greet him with a small wave, and the sympathy in his eyes is enough of a forewarning that you were going to be in for it from your sister. 

“So who’s this?” Your sister gestures to Joel, and you glare at her briefly. You felt heat creep up your body, feeling a little ticked off. You wanted to keep Joel a mystery just a little longer. 

“This is Joel. Joel, this is my sister and her fiancé Josh.” You introduce them three, and while you’re feeling nothing short of embarrassed, Joel has a big smile on his face as he extends his hand to shake both of theirs. 

“Nice to meet y’all.” He says, and your sister beams. 

“Ah, so you’re the mystery firefighter my sister always gushes about,” She laughs, and you groan and hide your face behind your hands. “Thank you for getting her out of that horrible car accident, by the way.” Her voice was coated with sincerity and gratefulness. 

“‘S no problem, really. I’d rescue her any day.” He looks at you as you peek an eye through your fingers, and he shoots you a wink. 

Your sister ‘aww’s at Joel’s words. 

The heat in your face never wavers and you hide your face again, shaking your head in pure embarrassment. 

“So when’s the wedding?” Joel asks politely, making conversation so awkwardness doesn’t roll over the four of you. 

Your sister can’t help but gleam when she answers him, “August tenth! You should come. It would be so much fun.” 

Your hands evade your face, and you look up at your sister with furrowed brows and a panicked stare. What the hell was she doing? 

Joel looked at you for a second with a small smile, and you wanted so badly to shrink into yourself and let the world swallow you whole. 

“Love to, only if this one would like me to go.” He nudges your foot under the table playfully, and an awkward chuckle escapes you. 

“You’d be subjected to my family if you went, Joel. I’m not sure you’d wanna deal with… all that.” 

Your sister laughs at your words, “She does have a fair point. Our brothers and cousins are quite the rowdy bunch.” 

“I like a challenge.” Joel smirks, eyes locking with yours. 

“I like him even more now.” Your sister laughs, nudging you on your shoulder. 

You shoo her hand away, rolling your eyes. “Okay, okay. It’s up to you, Joel, but I’m giving you a huge warning in advance.” 

He grins at you and grabs your hand from across the table, gently swiping his thumb over your soft skin. 

“Well, It was nice to meet you, Joel. Josh and I are gonna head out and grab a funnel cake.” Your sisters bids you both goodbye, and you and Joel both say your goodbyes before they walk off. 

“God, Joel, I am so sorry. I hope you don’t feel pressured into going to her wedding or anything. I know it’s like a month away and–”

Joel stops you with a kiss to the back of your hand. “Not at all, darlin’. But if you rather I not go, then I won’t. ‘S up to you.” 

“It’s not that–it’s just–,” You sigh, trying to find the right wording. “I’ve been single for so long. My last relationship didn’t end well, and my family is overprotective of me because they don’t wanna see me get hurt again. They can be… a bit much, sometimes.” 

You look at him, and he gives your hand a squeeze. 

“I mean, that’s understandable. Nobody likes seein’ members of their family gettin’ hurt, especially in a relationship. ‘M sorry your last one ended badly, but baby, if you let me, I’d love to give you everythin’ I can. I know this datin’ thing is scary, because hell, it took me so long to say yes to someone’s advances, but I really do like you and I would love to see where this goes.” 

You’re elated by Joel’s words. He was just so damn sweet and you genuinely felt like you didn’t deserve any of this. Dating is a scary thing, and the thought of giving yourself to someone again, letting them in to get to know all of you, terrified you. 

But, your sister's words ring in your head, once again. The world won’t end if you give up an ounce of control. 

“I’m glad you said yes to my advances.” You say, and Joel lifts your hands to his lips once again, giving it several kisses. 

“‘M happy I did, too.” 

-

“So which game do you want to play?” Joel asks, looking back at you as you try to fall into step with him. It was a couple of hours later, the sunset starting to creep in. 

“The water gun game. Love that one.” You grin, and he leads the way to the last two empty seats on the side. Joel hands the man running the game four tickets as you both settle in your seats, and you flash Joel a smirk. 

“Get ready to get your ass handed to you, cowboy.” Your shoulders shake with laughter as he gives you a look. He didn’t expect a competitive side to come out of you, but he liked it. A lot. 

“‘M ready, baby. Don’t hold back now.” He laughs as you both take hold of the metal machines, hovering your thumbs over the red buttons on the top. The bell goes off to start, and you zero in on getting the water into the tiny target. You don’t even think you blink until the bell goes off, signifying that someone won. 

You look up at the poles, and although Joel beat you, neither of you won. Some guy at the other end won and picked out a prize for his girlfriend and gave her a big kiss after she got a big plushie. 

You smile at the scene before you, and Joel notices you looking at them. He was determined to win something for you, because he wanted you to remember this day. 

He leads you over to a ball throwing game where he has to knock down bottles on three tiers of shelves. Nobody else was at the stand, so he got the opportunity to show off and impress you. 

You couldn’t help the way your eyes moved to the rippling biceps beneath the hem of his shirt, trailing them up to his tan neck, to the slightly graying stubble on his jaw, to his plush lips and strong angular nose, and his pretty eyes. His soft brown curls were barely peeking out from under his Stetson, and all you wanted to do was take his hat off and run your fingers through his hair. 

He’s a fucking dreamboat, and you really couldn’t believe that you were able to pull someone like him. 

“This one’s for you, baby.” He turns to wink at you, catching you staring at him. Heat shoots up to your face and you give him a shy smile, watching as he easily knocks down five bottles. Even the game attendant was impressed, and Joel pulled you into his side so you could pick out whichever stuffed animal you wanted. 

You chose a big teddy bear that was squishy, giving Joel a kiss on the cheek and thanking him for winning it for you. 

“So how many teddy bears have you won for previous women? You made that look too easy.” You joke, nudging his side as you both walk away from the game. 

“Mm, around thirty. I’m a regular here.” Joel deadpans. Your mouth drops open in mock offense, and the most guttural laugh erupts from his chest. 

“Jus’ you, baby. Tommy n’ I used to play catch a lot.” He reassures you, and you quirk your brow at him. 

“Better be, Miller, or there’ll be hell to pay.” You poke his chest with no malice behind your actions. 

“I bet there will be, darlin’.” He catches your hand and spins you around so your back is flush against his front, and he kisses your neck. He’s moving ahead of you before you even have time to process what just happened, but excitement zinged through your body at his gesture. 

You walk for about five minutes before you spot a photo booth not even twenty feet away. You stop him in his tracks and look at him with the best pleading eyes you can muster up. 

“Would you hate me if I asked you to take pictures with me?” You nod your head toward the photo booth, and Joel looks taken aback. 

“Hate you? I could never. I’d love to take pictures with you.” 

You guess you didn’t realize your wording before you said it. You were so used to your ex hating things you wanted to do, including taking photos to capture memories. He always made you feel bad about it, so you stopped doing it so much after you broke up. You just didn’t realize that the shitty feeling was still buried somewhere inside you. 

Joel tugs you along to the photo booth, sliding in first. The bench was extremely small, and it was nearly impossible to fit both of you side-by-side. 

“Jus’ sit on my lap.” Joel suggests, spreading his legs and patting his thigh. You swallow harshly and nod, sitting on his lap.

 You both get situated and put the two dollars in the machine before pressing the start button. Joel grabs on to your hips, and you nearly melt into a fucking puddle at his touch. 

It’d been so long since anyone has simply touched you, so your whole body was buzzing with nerves and excitement. 

You both smile for the first photo. You didn’t know what to do next, so you threw up a peace sign, Joel following your lead. For the third photo, you grabbed Joel’s face and gently squished him between your forefinger and thumb, sticking your tongue out.

You look at the screen and realize Joel was staring at you, so you turn your head to look at him. His smile is soft and his eyes are hooded, glancing down at your lips. 

You pluck his Stetson off of his head, covering half of your faces as Joel leans in and closes the gap, kissing you gently. Your body melts into his as you bring your other hand up to his curls, running your fingers through them to cradle the back of his head. His arms tighten around you, and he deepens the kiss, turning his head to the side. 

The last sound of the shutter goes off, but neither of you pull away. The arm holding his hat moves to rest on his shoulder as your lips move in tandem. You don’t know how long you were there just kissing. It was gentle and sweet, but there was a ferocious hunger that was brewing beneath the surface. You both felt it. 

You had to pull away before you lost all control, so you regrettably separated yourself from him. He rubbed his nose against yours, breathing a little ragged, before he leaned back to look at you. 

He cups your face and swipes his thumb over your cheekbone, giving you one last peck as reality trickles back down around you both once more. You put his hat back on his head before standing up from his lap, an unavoidable neediness coursing through your body. 

You grabbed both of the photo strips that were printed, smiling at them when you saw what they looked like. You never thought you’d admit to yourself ever again that you looked good with someone else by your side, but you couldn’t deny the sparkle in your eyes that you saw in the photos—all because of Joel. 

It scared you, truthfully. The thought of relying on someone else for happiness or reassurance just didn’t sit well with you quite yet, but what was the point of it all if you weren’t willing to let yourself just try? 

An hour passed before beautiful hues of orange, purple and pink took over as dusk settled on the horizon of the sky. You and Joel decided to split a funnel cake, but not without getting powdered sugar all over yourselves. 

“You got a little…” Joel trails off as he reaches his thumb out to the corner of your mouth, swiping off some stray powdered sugar before popping his thumb into his mouth. You lick your lips and watch him carefully, the ache of arousal only getting worse. 

“Wanna go on the ferris wheel?” You ask, desperate to distract yourself from your undying want for this man. 

“Love to.” 

You both dust off any powdered sugar left behind on your shirts, walking hand-in-hand to the ferris wheel. Joel gave the ride attendant the last six tickets he had, and you both climbed on. 

You were silent for most of the ride, admiring all the twinkling lights and patrons below. You glance at Joel who was already looking at you once again, and you can’t help the smile from forming. 

“Thank you so much for today. I had a lot of fun.” 

“‘Course, darlin’. ‘M glad I got to do this with you.” 

“Me too. I have some pretty great souvenirs, too.” You clutch onto your teddy bear, and he shakes his head with a laugh. 

The ferris wheel came to a stop, and you realized you were both at the top as you looked down at the fairgrounds below. 

“Would it be super fuckin’ cheesy and cliché if I asked you to kiss me right now?” Joel asks, scooting closer to you. 

“It would,” You start, leaning in to him. “But I don’t care. Be as cheesy and cliché as you’d like.” 

He grins before tipping your chin up with his thumb and forefinger, pressing his lips to yours once more. This time was a bit different. Joel kissed you with more force, neediness coursing through his body just as much as yours. 

He swiped his tongue against your bottom lip, and you immediately parted your lips for him. You couldn’t help the moan that bubbled in your throat as you moved closer to him, gripping onto his bicep. 

It was so easy to get lost in him. It was easy to talk with him, to laugh with him, to be with him. So, so fucking easy. 

You’d never felt this way about anyone before. It was wild to think about, because you just met him not even a month ago, but you could see yourself being so unapologetically happy with him. 

It might’ve been insane to think about that so early on, but your gut was telling you that you finally chose right. 

You were so wrapped up in each other and the heated kiss you were exchanging that you didn’t even realize the ferris wheel started moving again, and you eventually reached the bottom. The ride attendant awkwardly cleared their throat with a tight-lipped smile, and you immediately pulled away from Joel. 

You were mortified as you uttered ‘sorry’ at least five times before getting off the ride with Joel. 

Joel couldn’t help but laugh that you two had been caught, but he couldn’t care less. He felt so himself and so carefree around you. 

“Should we head back to yours?” He asks, a hint of desperation in his tone. You couldn’t even find the right words because your brain was absolute mush, so you just nod your head in agreement. 

The ride home didn’t take long, but as soon as you walked through your apartment door with him and set your prize and purse down, he was on you. He gently pushed you up against the door, hands wrapping around you as one moved down to your lower back. 

He separated his lips from yours for a second, nibbling on your chin. “Is it okay if I touch you?” He asks, voice filled with hope. 

God, please, yes. Touch me everywhere, you think. 

“Yes.” You whisper, and his lips are on yours once again. His tongue invaded your mouth, this kiss even hungrier than it was on the ferris wheel. One of his hands moved down to your ass, and you moaned into his mouth at the touch, fisting the back of his shirt into your hand in desperation. 

He moved you away from the door and walked backward toward your couch, plopping down on it. He immediately yanks your hips down so you’re straddling him, and you gently take the Stetson off of his head before setting it to the side. You crash your lips to his once again, both of your hands cupping his cheeks as you press yourself into his crotch unintentionally. 

Joel groans at the sensation, cock stirring in his jeans as you both continue to invade each other’s mouths, all teeth and tongue. His hands move down to your ass, giving it a squeeze as he guides you to rock your hips against his. 

You don’t even shy away anymore. You want this—you want him. But you had to pace yourself, not wanting to bite off more than you can chew. You ground your hips into his, clit catching perfectly onto the seam of your jeans as you felt his bulge straining against the denim he was wearing. 

“Fuck, Joel.” You whine, biting your bottom lip as you separate your lips from his. 

“I know, baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” He’s breathless as he moves you a little faster, and you nod your head feverishly. 

“Yeah–yes–fuck, it does. So good.” Your arousal was coating your panties, slick and warm as your cunt ached to be touched. 

Slow. Slow, you had to remind yourself.  

You’d just have to take care of yourself after he left tonight. 

“Fuck–darlin’ I think we should–wait.” Joel tries to find the words as they barely register in his head. 

You slow your hips down, panting against him and you nod. 

“I know. We should take it slow.” You say, and he licks his lips with a nod. 

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I’d love to–I jus’– I haven’t been with anyone in a real long time, and I don’t wanna fuck this up. I wanna do this right.” 

“I know, Joel. I’m with you. I wanna take this slow, too. I like you a lot and I wanna do this right with you as well.” 

Your eyes bored into his brown ones, sparkling with hope and happiness. He kissed your cheek a few times before nosing at your jaw, hands moving up to settle on your hips again. 

He pulled back and looked at you with that same soft smile on his handsome face—a sight you knew you’d never tire of. 

You’d quickly come to a revelation as you stared at him, chest heaving up and down as you desperately tried to catch your breath: you were falling—and this time, you didn’t want to get back up. 

tags: @ilovepedro ; @nostalxgic ; @endlessthxxghts ; @pamasaur ; @clawdee ; @pascalpvnk ; @bensonispunk ; @merz-8 ; @darkblue-tennesseee ; @buckyispunk ; @untamedheart81 ; @picketniffler ; @fluffygoffpanda ; @paleidiot ; @typewriter83 ; @lizzie-cakes ; @sawymredfox ; @keylimebeag ; @nandan11

divider by @saradika-graphics

[for-a-longlongtime]

Guilty Pleasure (5/7) - dbf!Joel Miller x reader

One thing you weren't prepared for: the sight of Joel using the pool in the backyard. One thing *he* wasn't prepared for - you needing some help to put on SPF.

Rating: Explicit, 18+ only, mdni 🔞🔥 Series warnings (tba): Age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 43), masturbation (f), use of sex toys, oral sex, PiV, anal, hair pulling, dirty talk, getting caught, playful use of 'daddy', outrageous flirting, groping, reference to m/m, Joel's arms should always come with a warning. No outbreak!AU. Word count: 2.8K A/N: I'm excited to drop this chapter, because it was one of the first things I wrote for this series. Also - we have only two more chapters to go! @hellishjoel, I don't know if you accept multiple parts of a series for the #hotdilfsummerchallenge, but I'm submitting this one just in case - because dbf!Joel at the pool? WOULD.

< part 4 | series masterlist | main masterlist

Joel is fucking gorgeous in his swimming shorts.

Because of course he is. 

He can’t see you from up here, sitting in the bay window of your room that overlooks the backyard, but you’ve got ample opportunity to watch him. He’s been swimming laps in the pool for a while, and it was so pornographic that you actually considered filming him or snapping some photos. He’s tan all over, which doesn’t surprise you, with a soft belly but strong arms and thighs. Frankly, you could’ve watched him for hours, and maybe you would’ve if your mom hadn’t decided to walk out into the yard to ruin the moment.

At first Joel seems unaware of her, focused on swimming his laps, but when he gets back to the edge of the pool closest to the lounge chairs he notices her, and you hear their voices distantly. You watch as he gets out of the pool, brushing his wet hair back while he reaches for a towel with his other hand. You bite your lip hard as you track his every move, seeing how his wet swim shorts fit low - too low - on his hips, clinging onto his frame, clearly showing his large bulge.

“Fuck me,” you breathe without even realizing it, and damnit - if your mother hadn’t been down there, you would have your fingers between your legs so fast to get yourself off. You watch as he moves closer to her, tugging his shorts up a little in a feeble attempt to look a bit more modest. She says something to him that you can’t hear, but you do hear his laugh as he takes the drink she offers him, then sits down next to her on one of the lounge chairs, pointing at the notebook in her hands.

“Such a waste of the moment,” you mutter to yourself as you admire his back and broad shoulders, seeing a few stray drops clinging onto his curls before they drop on his sun kissed skin. For a moment you consider staying put so you can watch him some more once your mom leaves. But then you decide this little voyeuristic game will be a lot better when you’re at the pool too and can let your eyes wander from up close.

You know that he notices you stepping into the yard ten minutes later, but you pretend to not be aware of it and casually wander over some lounge chairs on the other side of the pool. You put your towel down over the chair, making sure to let your vape and book slip from your fingers, so you need to bend down and pick it up from the ground. He’s watching, that’s for sure, you realize as his conversation with your mom stalls for a second of two, three - and you can’t help but feel pleased as you place your book and vape on the little side table.

“Honey, come over and have a look. What do you think of this pergola?”, your mom calls over just when you’re about to settle in, and you try to not roll your eyes. She’s been talking about the garden party they’re throwing next week and her latest fixation seemed to be adding a pergola to the current setup in the large backyard. Typically her, to do that at the last moment. “Joel says Tommy is busy next week, but that he can build it on his own.”

Walking over to them at least gives you the opportunity to strut to Joel, wearing nothing but your swimsuit and a sheer sarong. You know it looks hot on you, the see through fabric swishing around your curves with every step you take. But you make sure to not pay any attention to him as you lean over to look at your mom’s notepad. Nevertheless you notice his eyes on you, which makes you feel giddy and almost distracts you from paying attention to what your mom is saying. Joel smells like sunscreen and a hint of sweat, no cologne, and it takes you serious effort to not reach out and touch his wet hair, play with the damp curls.

“Looks cool,” you say, not having a fucking clue about what exactly you should be looking at - this is probably the first time ever you’ve spend any time whatsoever thinking and talking about a pergola. “Pretty big though. You sure you can get that done in time though?”

“It’s not hard. Fair bit of work, but I can get it done within a day or two.” 

You can’t hide the smirk tugging at your lips as you watch him drink his ice water. “Welllll, if it’s not that hard…”

He gives you an amused look as he puts his drink down, and you wink at him in return before turning back to your mom. “It’ll be great, mom. Don’t stress about your party, everybody always loves them. Talk of the town, you know?”

She looks grateful for the reassurance as she nods, closing the notebook. “Yeah, I know, but this is a big one. There are a lot of eyes on your father these months, and if this goes well it’ll really help to build some contacts he’s been trying to make for a while.”

“Well, just as long as everything is about him, as usual…” You huff, unable to stop the irritation you feel creeping under your skin. “At least I don’t need to be there.”

“Actually…”

“Fuck no!” The words fly out of your mouth before you even give it a thought, and the frown on your mother’s face is almost just as instantaneous. “Mom, I don’t want to do these things. You know that.”

“It’s just a few hours of your time. I told you this before.”

“No, you didn’t.” Actually, you do vaguely remember her mentioning something like this, but you had expected to be able to get out of it. “Besides, I don’t have anything to wear, unless you want me to wear this.”

She rolls her eyes as she gets up. “This is not a negotiation. Use the AMEX you have to charge something to, unless you’d like my assistant-...”

“Yeah no, I don’t need her to pick an outfit for me,” you snap as you get up as well, pacing back to your own lounge chair. “Don’t worry, I’ll play The Perfect Daughter as I always do with this bullshit,” you scoff at her as you start scrolling through your phone for the Net-A-Porter app. Only once you hear that she has gone back into the house you look up again, your eyes immediately searching for Joel. He’s still in his seat, his head slightly cocked as he’s looking at you.

“You’re being a real brat again, you know.”

“Yeah?” You stare him down as you take another hit from your vape, feeling bold from the adrenaline rush of having him merely twenty foot away from you, wet and wearing just his swim shorts. “So spank me. Teach me a lesson.”

He laughs softly as he shakes his head. “Not my job, darling.”

“Are you sure about that, Daddy?” You bite your lip, pleased when he actually blushes, seemingly caught off guard by that. “It could be.”

You almost hold your breath when you see he’s half hard in his shorts as he gets up. Probably for the best, because else you may have whimpered at the sight. Shit. You need him in your mouth, now. Your mother is back in her home office by now, so if you don’t make too much noise…

“Can you put some sunscreen on my back?” You wave the bottle of SPF at him and see him hesitate, but you’re not giving up that easily. “Oh, come on. Don’t be such a fucking prude, Joel. You want me to burn in this hundred degree weather?”

He shifts from one foot to another, then sighs as he shrugs, coming over to you. “Alright. Give me that.”

“Thank you so much.” You move up in your lounge chair and sit with your back turned to him, hearing him sit down behind you as the cap of the bottle clicks. The moment his hands meet the back of your shoulders, you have to work hard to not let out a sigh - they’re so damn big, and the chill of the sunscreen is immediately alleviated by how warm his palms are.

You’re both quiet as his hands slide down your back, spreading the lotion with care. He’s thorough, and with every inch of skin that he touches you can feel yourself growing wetter, your nipples already hard and straining against the material of your top.

“Think I got it all.” His voice sounds a little hoarse as he finally takes his hands off you, and you immediately wish he was still touching you. So you don’t think - you just reach back and undo the ties of your bikini top, letting the flimsy material drop down. 

“Actually, do you mind?” You give him the most innocent, coy look you can muster up as you glance at him over your shoulder. You have to steel yourself, because his bare chest is so close to you since he’s still only wearing his wet swim trunks. “Nothing worse than getting burned under those strings because the spf didn’t protect everything.” 

He almost sighs, the slightest shake of his head this time as he holds your eyes - a little too diligently, really, seemingly doing everything to not look directly at your tits that are on full display with this angle. “Darling…”

“Please, Joel,” you whisper, letting your glance travel down to his mouth for a moment. His lips are parted, slightly chapped, and as you’re staring at them, he almost nervously wets them. You’ve imagined that mouth on you so many times already; kissing you, licking your neck, those plush lips pressed against your cunt as he explores you and makes you come on his tongue. Especially the latter has proven to be very effective when you’re masturbating.

He doesn’t say anything to your plea, just reaches for the bottle again, and moments after the squirting sound of the SPF bottle, his hand is on your back again. Retracing his steps to rub the lotion over the areas he missed earlier, ending with his fingers brushing the last bits of it over the back of your neck. While you’ve kept your eyes on him the entire time, despite the slightly awkward position of looking at him over your shoulder, his eyes were averted from your face - but now he’s done, he looks back up at you.

“You’re all good now,” he says, handing the bottle back to you, his voice sounding even hoarser than before. “I’m - headed inside, gonna get some lunch.”

You nod, but as he straightens up you reach out and grab his arm quickly to stop him. “Thank you, Daddy.” This time you drop the innocent act, your voice now hoarse to rival his, and you can see his eyes flit to your chest for a second before he shakes your hand off his arm. 

“Don’t say that.”

“What?”, you ask as you turn to him, now fully facing him and no longer covered by your bikini top, and he groans as he shakes his head and pointedly looks away, wiping his hands nervously on his swim shorts. “You don’t like Daddy? What do you like - Sir?” It’s clear he’s still half hard, so you push your nerves aside and reach out for his cock, wanting to feel him under your hand.

“DON’T.” This time he surprises you - his hand grabs your wrist before you can touch you, the grip strong and hard. His flustered expression from earlier is gone, and there’s just tension on his face now, his eyes dark but not in the way you were hoping for. 

“Don’t say another word.” Everything about his tone of voice and body language is a very clear warning, including the way he grits his teeth. And you know it’s fucked up, you really do, but it only makes you even more aroused. You want all of that intensity and his rough grip fully directed at you. But even through the haze of horniness you do realize that outside in the yard is not the way to go - and you’ve probably overwhelmed him. 

“I’m sorry, Joel,” you say quickly, trying to appease him, but the expression on his face makes it clear that he doesn’t believe you. So you dial it up a bit, making sure that your voice trembles. “Joel…? Please let me go. You’re hurting me,” you gasp at him, even though that’s far from the truth, but it seems a safe bet to make his anger go away. 

It works like a charm. The harshness immediately leaves his face and his voice as he lets go of you, now looking stricken as he takes a step back. His hands are carefully raised, indicating you’re safe - that he wouldn’t touch you like that again.

“Fuck. I’m - I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to hurt ya,” he stammers, looking at your pouting face, then abruptly turns around and strides back to the house, going inside without uttering another word. 

You exhale deeply, suddenly shaking as you realize you’ve been holding your breath, and you quickly retie the strings of your bikini top, putting it back in place. Your mind is racing as you take a few hits of your vape, trying to process what just happened. 

Fuck, you have to approach this differently. If he didn’t dare to make a move, you just have to be more bold.

next: part 6 >

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Thank you for reading, commenting or reblogging - I appreciate it so very much 🙏

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[megalony]

Proud Papa

This is a Tommy Kinard imagine, based on a lovely Anon request. I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

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@rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff

Tommy Kinard Masterlist

Summary: Tommy can't wait for the day of (Y/n)'s C-section so they can meet their twins. They know exactly what to expect; but there's room for a few surprises.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, next week? Are you coming, I can give you a lift if you like."

A grin spread across Tommy's lips as he zipped up his bag and let it lay between his feet. His elbows moved to rest on his thighs and he tilted his head back, squinting up at Eddie against the beaming afternoon sun that was casting rays of gleaming white to shine around the court.

He could feel his smile twitching into a smirk when he thought about how busy he was going to be next week.

"Uh, no, sorry. I can't make it next week." It would be the first time in over two months that Tommy would have to skip the weekly basketball game that had been set up for almost a year now.

He was usually lucky that he didn't work Thursday afternoons, he either had them off or he worked the Thursday night shift and still turned up here for the basketball game beforehand.

But not next week.

"No?"

"You're missing a game?" Buck huffed as he ran his fingers through his sweaty locks, brushing them back while he huffed. He had been to about four of these weekly games so far and he knew Tommy had been to each one. He usually picked Eddie up on the way and brought him down here so they didn't have to take two cars.

"Yep, I'll be missing the next few games, actually. You'll have to make do without me."

"How come?"

The disappointment in Eddie's voice and the confusion on Buck's face was almost endearing. It felt good to have friends that actually wanted to hang out with him and who clearly were going to miss his absence next week. Tommy was a friendly guy and he was easy going, but that didn't mean he made a lot of friends.

He only had a small circle of close-knit friends that he relied on and trusted and who he hung out with regularly. It was refreshing to meet Eddie and Buck and reconnect with Chimney and Hen and feel like he had more people to be around and get to know again.

"My wife's gonna be having the twins next Wednesday." Tommy couldn't quite keep his excitement at bay.

Although his expression was contained, his smile was dampened down so it didn't take over his face. And he took a deep breath to stop from overexciting himself or babbling about everything that would happen next week. He refrained from blurting out every little detail that was planned down to the dot.

And he revelled in the tender smile that lit up Eddie's face, while Buck grinned, but his eyes narrowed somewhat in confusion.

"Ah, you, you mean her due date is next Wednesday?" Scratching the back of his neck, Buck tilted his head to one side and grinned across at his friend. He would have to be psychic to know the exact date when his wife would go into labour.

"No, we're having them on Wednesday. (Y/n)'s having a C-section. As of Monday, I'm off work, and as of next Wednesday, I'll officially be a dad."

Tommy had enjoyed watching everyone become confused when he told them he already knew his children's birthday ahead of time. He loved that he had it circled on the kitchen calendar in red pen that next week would be their birthday. If he wanted, he could add it in his work diary and save it to his phone as a reminder that every year, that would be a special date he would need off work.

They had it all planned out from (Y/n) being five months pregnant that she would be having a C-section. Suffering with extreme morning sickness and then having a minor placental abruption put (Y/n) more at risk, along with having twins. The doctor thought it would be better if they had a C-section so neither of the twins got distressed during labour and so the placenta didn't start moving again and cause any bleeding.

It was more likely that (Y/n) would go into early labour too, since she was having a multiple pregnancy. They would be at thirty-six weeks next week which was a safe mark to have the twins.

"Oh wow, congratulations."

"Do you know what you're having yet?"

"We're having boys."

Tommy wouldn't tell anyone yet that he and (Y/n) already had the names picked out. They would be walking into that hospital next week knowing the exact date they would be having their boys, roughly what time, and with their names already chosen and sewn into matching blankets (Y/n) had made.

It was as scheduled as anything else in their lives and they both preferred it this way. No walking on egg shells, no panicking that Tommy might be at work when (Y/n) went into labour. No worrying that something would go wrong or labour would end up with complications or something would happen to their boys.

It was all pre-planned out and next week, Tommy would be sat with one son in each arm, feeling the happiest he'd ever been in his life.

(Y/n) tilted her head to the right and looked across at Tommy, quirking a brow as she gazed at him curiously. The smile on his lips was one that made his cheeks puff out and the end of his nose scrunched up as he looked down at his phone.

She moved her hands to run them up and down her legs, feeling adrenaline spark through her stomach at the prospect that in less than an hour, she wasn't going to be able to feel the lower part of her body anymore.

"Something funny?" She murmured softly, smiling as Tommy tore his eyes away from his phone and looked across at her before he held the screen out for her to see.

"Just the guys wishing us luck." He swiped across to the next text, watching as (Y/n)'s eyes lit up and she nodded.

It was sweet. Buck had wished them good luck, and cheekily asked for a photo of the twins once the operation was all done and dusted. And Eddie hoped it would go well, and said Chris has asked when he can come down and visit them which was endearing.

Tommy had been a little surprised but nevertheless touched when Hen and Chimney both texted early this morning to say they were happy for him. And said they would come down to see them all soon.

With a smile, Tommy turned his phone on silent and tucked it safely into the bag they had brought down to the hospital with them. He didn't need it going off in the operating room or sitting uncomfortably in his back pocket. He wasn't going to need it.

He pushed up from the chair and ran his hands up and down his jeans, wiping the sweat from his palms before he sat down on the edge of the bed beside (Y/n)'s knee. He reached out and began to trail his hand across (Y/n) knee while she sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Her hands stopped drawing patterns and reached out for Tommy's wrist instead, holding onto him as tightly as she could.

"Are you ready?"

Her lips curved up into a tender smile and her eyes flitted down to her stomach.

It felt strange to know that in over an hour, she was going to look and feel totally different. Her stomach wouldn't be this rounded anymore. It would feel squishy and flatter and she might have better chance of seeing her knees and her feet which she hadn't caught sight of in the last few months.

In an hour, they would have a boy each to cuddle and feed and adore and love.

Everything had been leading up to today, but now it was here, everything felt strange, in a good way. (Y/n) was ready to be able to walk and feel like her back wasn't crippled and feel like she could stand up straight without her stomach trying to touch the floor. She would be able to push a pram rather than stare holes into her stomach and wish to see her babies.

They would be waking up during the night as of now. They would be swamped with baby grows and nappies and cries filling the house. And they were ready for this.

"I think I'm gonna be a stone lighter after this." She spoke wistfully while she moved her hands to cup her stomach. She was definitely going to feel like a whole new person after today.

A chuckle passed through Tommy's lips before he leaned forward, moving his hands to cup hers that were on her stomach. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her bump, smiling against her skin when he felt (Y/n) lean down to kiss the back of his head.

"Well I'm gonna miss this," He murmured into her skin, causing shivers in his wake.

He had loved wrapping himself around (Y/n) and attaching his lips to her stomach and feeling the boys move and wriggle around and react to the sound of his voice. But they both knew having their boys in their arms was going to feel a whole lot different to this, in the best way possible.

A soft knock at the door caught their attention and Tommy sat up straight but kept his hands enveloped around (Y/n)'s.

They both watched as two nurses walk into the room, eager looks of excitement on their faces.

"Are we ready to go to theatre?" It wasn't the best way to word it, but (Y/n) nodded all the same.

The longer they waited up here in this room, the more nervous she was becoming. It was the thought of the epidural she was going to have that made her feel queasy. But she knew once she'd had the injection and everything was set up, she would feel a lot calmer.

And Tommy was going to be there right beside her.

(Y/n) could feel her nerves sparking and igniting when they finally got into the operating room. She had never had an operation before. The worst (Y/n) had done was broken a few bones in her life, but this was different. She was going to be awake for this which was something strange and unusual in itself.

She sat on the side of the bed, keeping her eyes on her knees as her nails punctured into the edge of the operating bed like she was going to extend claws like Wolverine and cut it apart.

But when her eyes lifted, she managed to arch a brow and some of her anxiety died down when she looked over at her husband.

He was wearing scrubs. Somehow, Tommy looked even taller and bulkier in the dusty pale blue scrubs that barely seemed to fit over his arms or his shoulders. But the tender smile dancing across his lips made him look soft and when (Y/n) reached a hand out towards him, he all but melted on the spot.

She felt his lips pressing against her temple as he moved to stand in front of her and interlocked their fingers together.

"Okay, let's get you on this epidural. Do you want to lie down?"

"Can I sit up?" (Y/n) looked over her shoulder at the doctor who they had seen two weeks ago in preparation for today. He smiled kindly and nodded.

She didn't want to lie on her side, something about that made (Y/n) feel a little too uncomfortable. It would make her feel better if she could stay sitting up like this and then when the epidural started to work, she would lie down ready. They knew it would take up to twenty minutes for her body to go fully numb and she didn't want to lie on her side or her back for that long and wait.

"Okay, this is going to feel uncomfortable, but since you can't see any of it, that should be a little easier. This is the anaesthetic first, to numb your back."

Lifting her gaze, (Y/n) locked her eyes on Tommy, but the calm smile on his face made her feel better already. She leaned forward until her forehead was pressing into his chest and her right hand stayed tangled with Tommy's while she reached her left hand out and curled her hand around his torso. She felt his right hand move to cup the back of her neck and he began to hum quietly while his eyes focused over (Y/n)'s shoulder to watch the doctor.

He watched curiously as the doctor slowly pushed a needle near (Y/n)'s spine to numb her back. He felt (Y/n) twitch and push into his chest even more and he was glad she couldn't see this. Tommy had lost count of the times he'd had to hold (Y/n) in a chair or catch her when she fainted while having her bloods taken.

"Epidural going in now (Y/n). This will feel a bit uncomfortable, but not painful."

Tommy smoothed his thumb up and down the back of (Y/n)'s neck while he watched the thin tube thread into her back, between the columns of her spine. It made his breathing quicken, but he had seen much worse while he was on shift with air support.

It was still strange to watch the fluid seep through the thin tube in her back and watch the way (Y/n) twisted and tensed, trying to stay as still as she could so she didn't move anything.

(Y/n) began to sway their entwined hands back and forth, giving herself something to focus on other than the sound of Tommy's gritty, melodic hum that quietly flooded her ears.

This was what she had been worried about. Feeling this uncomfortable and feeling the injections and then having to wait for everything to turn numb. The thought was almost as uneasy as the action itself and after just less than ten minutes, (Y/n) slowly lifted her head to look up at Tommy. She nodded silently and moved their entwined hands down to pat her legs that she couldn't feel anymore.

Well, she could sort of feel them, but it was like a switch had been flipped and they had been momentairely disconnected.

There was a small part of (Y/n) that worried this epidural somehow wouldn't work or suddenly wouldn't be properly effective. She dreamed that when the doctor began cutting through the fat and muscle in her abdomen, she would suddenly feel agonising pain and begin to scream. But feeling how numb and tingly her legs felt, (Y/n) was sure that wasn't going to happen today.

"If we can get you laid down now, we can get set up and have these two. Do we know what we're having yet, or is it a surprise?"

(Y/n) kept her hands latched around Tommy's and smiled gratefully when his hands moved to hold her upper arms. He helped the nurses turn her and move her legs so she was sitting up on the bed. Both (Y/n)'s hands moved to clutch Tommy's bicep which caused him to smile.

"Okay honey?" He whispered softly while he eased her to lay back down and let her curl both her hands around his right hand.

(Y/n) nodded but she pulled his hand down to pin it to her chest and she scrunched her eyes closed when the doctor started to get ready. She didn't want to see him prepare the scalpals or set up the sheet so she wouldn't see. Part of her wanted to see, she wanted to see the exact moment their boys were brought into the world. But the other part of (Y/n) knew it wouldn't be a sight she would easily forget or would really want to see when she felt a little woozy already.

She knew Tommy would look. He wasn't squeamish, he couldn't be in his line of work and he wanted to watch. If he couldn't be the first person to hold their boys, since that would technically be the doctor's job, then Tommy at least wanted to witness them being born.

Her fingers began to glide up and down Tommy's wrist and over his arm, sorting out the creases and wrinkles in his scrubs. She focused her eyes on him and watched the way he smiled and squeezed her hand every now and then to keep her calm.

"Alright, here we go."

The way (Y/n) clenched her fingers into his hand and closed her eyes made Tommy smile. It was almost as if she was anticipating the pain she knew deep down that she wasn't going to feel. (Y/n) might feel some level of discomfort because of the odd sensations, but she wasn't going to be in any sort of pain.

When she opened her eyes, (Y/n) tried to keep watch over Tommy. Noticing the way the lights caused flecks of white to cascade off his eyes like glittering sparkles. Or how he kept biting the corner of his lips and narrowing his eyes every few seconds. Each time he twitched or moved, (Y/n) wondered if the doctor was peeling away another layer of skin. Tommy's reactions and movements were reflecting the procedure.

But she couldn't feel anything. It was a relief to know the doctor was cutting through her skin and all (Y/n) could feel was tiny touches like she was being prodded whilst being deep in slumber.

No pain, no actual sensations or touches or movements at all. They could be slicing her apart and she wouldn't know about it.

"Let's get baby number one out. Nurse."

Tommy let (Y/n) keep his hand pinned down against her chest while he leaned behind the protective white sheet they'd pinned up across the middle of (Y/n)'s stomach so she couldn't see the procedure. It made shivers course down his spine to see the doctor reach into (Y/n)'s stomach like was a magician's act. The clamps keeping her skin pulled apart didn't bother Tommy almost as much as seeing the doctor reach in like that.

It looked invasive. It looked horrific rather than like the miracle he thought it would be.

(Y/n) felt Tommy suddenly tugging on her hand and she lifted her head, adrenaline sparking through her body when she heard a soft cry.

She could feel her heart trying to burst out of her chest and it took all her effort to stay still and prevent herself from trying to move and sit up. But she didn't have to wait long before the nurse was bringing their first boy round behind the curtain so she could see him.

"Here's your first boy." She spoke softly and carefully laid the newborn down onto (Y/n)'s chest who was shaking his arms and fists like he was fighting off invisible hands. His cheek nuzzled against (Y/n)'s chest and she kissed his temple, trying to stop herself from crying but she couldn't help herself.

"Hi baby," Her left hand moved to brush over the top of his head while she felt Tommy lean down to kiss her temple and run his free hand across their boy's cheek.

(Y/n) almost whined when the nurse gently lifted him off her chest again and took him out of sight. But she knew it was because she was going to clean him up and to let her hold her second boy.

"And here's your second little boy."

The smile on Tommy's face when (Y/n) looked up at him was unlike any she had seen before.

It wasn't often that (Y/n) saw Tommy cry. Only in the dead of night after a vivid nightmare or after a rough shift or the very odd, few days when he was feeling low. (Y/n) could probably count on both hands the times she had seen Tommy cry and the only time she saw happy tears was when they were dancing on their wedding day.

But now, with just a few tears in his eyes and one trickling down the side of his nose, he looked so endearing and beautiful.

When he leaned down to kiss the top of their boy's head, (Y/n) tilted her head up and caught his lips in a kiss. She nudged their noses together, grinning when he let go of her hand to brush his fingers along the side of her cheek. With his other hand still cradling the back of their boy's head.

(Y/n) leaned their foreheads together, barely hearing the nurse whisper that she would get their second boy cleaned up so they could hold them both in a moment.

But (Y/n) opened her eyes and looked up at Tommy when they both heard the doctor mutter "When was the last sonogram?" Panic fluttered to life in (Y/n)'s eyes and she moved her hand up to hold Tommy's hand again while she watched the confusion spread across his face like a wildfire.

"Last week… why?"

They'd had a scan last week to make sure the twins weren't moving or facing down. They had to make sure (Y/n) wasn't going to go into early labour before the planned date for this C-section and they needed to make sure the placenta hadn't moved down either. Everything had been fine at the scan. The boys hadn't moved, the placenta was in place. Blood flow and heartbeats had both been normal and healthy.

Was something wrong now?

What could have happened now? When both the boys were already out and they had seemed fine and healthy?

Was (Y/n) bleeding? Had she had some kind of internal trauma or haemorrhage that they hadn't noticed earlier?

"Tommy, w-what's wrong?" (Y/n) pulled on Tommy's hand and stared up at him while their second twin was taken from her chest. She tilted her head back and tried to look for both the boys but seeing the room from a flipped angle made her head spin and made her blood thump in her ears. "Are they okay?"

Surging panic propelled through (Y/n)'s system while she tried to find someone in the room who would tell her what was going on.

She felt Tommy grip her hand tightly while he nodded. He could see the nurses in the far corner of the room, they were cleaning up the boys and both of them were whimpering and wriggling around. Neither nurse seemed panicked or overly worried about the boys, so it couldn't be anything to do with them.

But that thought made Tommy's heart drop to the pit of his stomach like a stone. If it wasn't something to do with the twins, then it had to be about (Y/n). Was his wife okay?

"What's wrong?" Tommy leaned around the curtain and looked across at the doctor with such a stern look that it made the room drop ten degrees and had everyone shivering.

"No, no it's nothing to worry about."

Somehow, (Y/n) didn't believe the doctor's words. She pulled on Tommy's hand and tried to push herself up on her elbows until Tommy gently nudged her back down. She leaned to the left to try and look at the doctor, but her view of him was obscured and she realised his eyes were focused intently on her stomach with something akin to surprise written across his face.

"(Y/n), it seems we have a third wriggler hiding away in here." He smiled through his words which made (Y/n)'s heartbeat ignite and bring the monitor to live beside them.

"T-triplets?"

That couldn't be right. None of their other scans had showed any signs of a third baby. They were having twins. They had been preparing for the last six months to have twins since they went to their first appointment and found out.

It had been a shock that they were having twins on their first pregnancy. Two for the price of one. (Y/n) had even joked that Tommy had planned this somehow because they had been so eager to have a baby after they got married. But they hadn't thought about triplets.

(Y/n) desperately wanted to move her hands down and run them across her stomach but she felt Tommy tugging on her hand like he knew what she was thinking and was preventing her from doing so. She didn't think she looked big enough to be having triplets. She hadn't always looked like she was having twins. The first five months she just looked a little further ahead in her pregnancy. But even now, whenever she told people she was having twins, they were surprised.

How could there be three hiding away in here?

"Really?" Surprise flooded Tommy's voice and when (Y/n) looked up at him, she saw a mixture of emotions on his face. His eyes looked dazed, as if he was going to pass out, but the way his lips parted into an open-mouthed smile showed he was growing excited at this prospect.

"Another boy?" (Y/n)'s voice shook as she waited, watching Tommy's expression as he watched the doctor gently scoop up a third baby.

He wasn't mistaken. He wasn't trying to make some kind of joke out of this or torment them or just play around. They really did have a third baby hiding away in there.

They were going to have to make a few adjustments when they went home. They had prepped for taking two babies back home with them, not three. Two cribs. A double pram. They were going to need extra sets of bottles and a few more baby grows. About a hundred more nappies. The nursery was going to have to be changed around- again.

Tommy was going lightheaded at the thought and he tried to drag himself out of his mind and focus again while his eyes locked on his third little baby.

"Oh, you have a little lady, this time."

(Y/n) choked on a laugh when she watched a tiny bundle be laid on her chest. They had a girl. They had been preparing for the last six months to bring two boys home. Now they were going to have to prepare to bring a little girl home with them too.

"She's so small." (Y/n) carefully danced her fingertips over her daughter's cheek, feeling her smile spread until she could barely look down at her little girl.

She was miniscule. With her legs curled up to her tummy and her arms pinned into her chest, she barely looked the size of a teddy bear. No wonder (Y/n) hadn't looked like she was having triplets. She would barely look pregnant at all if she was just having their daughter and she came out that small. The boys had clearly been hiding her away from them. Keeping her as a surprise.

"I think the boys got the most preference and nutrients… she's going to need a little bit of extra help."

Tilting her head back, (Y/n) nudged her head against Tommy's hand when he let go of her hand so he could crouch down beside her. His hand brushed against her cheek as more tears started to fall down his face and (Y/n) was sure this was the happiest she had ever seen him. And her eyes lit up when Tommy reached his free hand across and started to drag his fingertip up and down their daughter's cheek.

She was going to be tiny when she was in Tommy's arms.

"Where were you hiding her, honey?"

***

Hen: Congratulations! How's (Y/n) and the boys, did everything go okay? xx

Chim: We're very happy for you. Are you all okay and settled?

Eddie: Hope everything went smoothly. Whenever you're up for visitors Chris would love to come down and say hi. x

Buck: Happy Birthday! (To the twins) Can I see a picture? Please?

(Y/n) rolled her lips together, obscuring her smile as she looked at the texts that had popped up over the last few hours. She could almost hear all their excited voices and feel the love radiating from their messages. It was heart-warming.

Buck's message played on (Y/n)'s mind as she looked across the room towards her husband.

He was starting to fall asleep.

His head was tilted down until his chin was just about resting on his chest and he was slouched in the chair with his knees pushed forward. But he had Grace in the crook of his left arm. The newborn was miniscule and swamped when she was laid in Tommy's arm. The way his bicep flexed and how his forearm tensed around her almost engulfed her from sight with how broad Tommy was compared to how tiny and compact their daughter was.

He had been holding the boys for quite a while earlier and had switched to Grace when James and Jake had both fallen asleep and were now in the cribs in the corner of the room.

When she looked back down at Tommy's phone that she had been holding for the last hour, taking photos and sending pictures to family, she smiled.

She set up a group message to Hen, Chimney, Buck and Eddie and attached one of the photos she'd taken an hour ago. A picture of Tommy with one of the boys in each arm and the widest smile she'd ever seen on his lips.

*Here's the proud papa with the boys. Say hi to James (left) and Jake (right). xx

She attached the message to the bottom of the picture and hit send before she slowly sat forward, being mindful of the new set of stitches across the very bottom of her stomach.

She held the phone out towards Tommy, waiting a dew seconds when his eyes began to flicker before they fell closed again and she took the opportunity to snap a quick picture. Loving the contrast in the photos which showed just how small Grace was compared to the boys. Along with the fact that she was wearing a smaller, blushing pink cap over her head and had a tube taped into her nose to help her get a bit more oxygen

*And say hello to Grace, our surprise. xx

When the message sent, (Y/n) was about to put the phone on the side table. She had been too hyped to sleep earlier but the epidural was starting to wear off now and she was beginning to feel drained. But before the phone was even out of her hands, it began to vibrate and ping with messages.

All of them simultaneous. All of them saying the same thing. Just one simple word.

*Triplets?!!

[robinminustherichard]

I Carry You With Every Breath I Take

Buck & Maddie focused, BuckTommy and Madney heavily mentioned.

Gen | No Warnings Apply

Summary: In an effort to be better to their living son, Buck’s parents had sent what could have been called his baby box if it wasn't so obvious that the wood was new and definitely not over thirty years old.

Buck and Tommy are expecting a baby; Buck's parent's attempt at righting a wrong shines a light on what Maddie had forgotten and what Buck never knew.

FULL STORY BELOW CUT

In an effort to be better to their living son, Buck’s parents had sent what could have been called his baby box if it wasn't so obvious that the wood was new and definitely not over thirty years old. Buck was surprised when he took the large package it had come in from the delivery woman's hands and immediately zeroed in on the small Phillip and Margret Buckley that began the return address line. 

Settled in on the couch with the package open before him and the wooden box adorned laid out, Buck sighed. In the twenty minutes since sitting down Buck hadn't yet found the courage to open it. Holding off longer, he checked the cardboard package for a note and found one, along with something pink and velvety. Pulling both out, Buck saw that the pink thing was some sort of box as well, much smaller than the wooden one but almost familiar. When he moved the note off of it, he saw a gold, cursive ‘M’ stamped into the top, and his mind immediately supplied memories of the box and it's permanent place on Maddie's vanity growing up--her jewelry box. 

With the package empty and everything out in front of him, Buck still couldn't open them. He sighed, set his shoulders, and stood up. He grabbed the empty package and moved to take it out to the garage, break it down, and recycle it. The items could wait until he had some back up.

Half an hour later, Buck was still stubbornly walking past the coffee table without looking down at its surface, tidying up the living room and definitely not wishing that Tommy could hurry up and come through the door even though he knew it would be another two hours before he was off shift and headed home.

He arranged their shoes more neatly in the rack by the door, grabbed a hoodie he had thrown onto the stair banister and took it to the laundry room, and took the clean clothes out of the dryer, into a basket, and up to their bedroom. He stood in the doorway of the yellow nursery next door, frowning at the way the new paint smell still lingered. He walked to the window and opened it, letting fresh air ruffle the curtains and air things out. While he stood at the window contemplating the next three small tasks he could dredge up to keep himself busy, he was surprised to see Maddie's car pull into their driveway. 

Wasting no time, Buck headed quickly down the stairs to meet her at the door. When he opened it she was just making it to the porch stairs and she looked as surprised to see him as he was to see her. 

“Buck! Hi! Did you hear my car?” She smiled at him, reaching for a hug. 

Buck hugged her back, laughing quietly. 

“Nah,” he told her, letting her go and gesturing her into the house. “I was opening the window in the nursery and saw you.” 

Maddie perked up at that as she slipped her shoes off and set her purse down in the entryway. 

“Oh! How's it coming? What paint color did you end up choosing?” 

“It's good! We can check it out before you leave. It was a harsh battle between buttercup meadow and bumble breeze, but ultimately the council decided on bumble breeze. I do like it, I just wish the paint smell was gone already.” 

Maddie laughed, following Buck down the hallway towards the living room. 

“The council, huh?” She said, tone clearly and question.” 

“Eddie, Chris, and Sal of course.” Buck told her, glancing back and chuckling. They came into the living room and Buck paused at the long console table that held Tommy's it's not hipster if I’m just old, Evan record player and the large bay window that bathed the living room in rich sunlight every evening. “In reality it was Eddie and Sal absolutely caving to Christopher's choice when he said ‘I think this would have made me happy as a baby’. As if his favorite color wasn't actually blue for years.” 

Maddie laughed again, nodding. “Yeah, I think that would have gotten anyone.” 

Buck nodded, letting the conversation lapse for a few seconds before being direct. 

“Did you need something or--not, not that you can't just drop by or anything, you totally can but--” 

Maddie grinned bringing a hand up to wave Buck's rambling off. 

“No, I had gotten a call from Mom asking me to come over because, quote, “The FedEx is saying that my package for both of you got to Buck's house but I’m worried it will get stolen, Maddie. I've seen that on the news, you know”.” Maddie paused, taking a breath after an honestly passable imitation of their mother's voice. “So I told her I would come over. I would have told her that it was fine, you could handle getting a package, but honestly I didn't want you to get a call on your day off too. I need to pick Jee up from school in an hour and a half anyway, so I figured I would come over. Speaking of which--” 

She pulled out her phone and typed out a text, sending it off with a firm press to the screen before she looked around. 

“I'm telling Mom that you got it.” Here, she paused. “You did get it right? No one actually stole it?” 

Buck laughed sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

“No, no. I even signed for it. I already tossed the box but you can see it for yourself, I haven't opened anything yet.” 

Buck led Maddie over to the couch, and plopped down. 

“Oh!” she exclaimed before joining him, hands immediately reaching for the pink box. “Oh, wow. My old jewelry box. I haven't thought about this in years.” She was grinning, running her fingers along the side of it and examining a little lock holding the lid closed that Buck hadn't noticed before. 

Buck hummed, watching Maddie and trying not to look at his part of the package. 

That, however, did not stop Maddie's eyes from leaving her box, skating over the note, and landing--then widening--over the wooden box. 

“Oh.” She said again, less excited this time. “Is that--” 

Buck let out a deep sigh, hand subconsciously reaching up to rub at his next. 

“Yeah, um.” He swallowed “I-uh, I think it's supposed to be my Baby Box. Like the one they gave you before Jee was born.” 

Unable to help himself, Buck laughed a little darkly. 

“Of course, they definitely just got this one from pottery barn last week or something. So, it's not really a Baby Box. I guess it's a “you're thirty-seven and will have a baby soon, so here's something we managed to put together on the fly” box.” 

He lost steam by the time he finished speaking, sighing again. Sometimes all he could do about his parents was sigh. He slumped backward into the couch and looked at Maddie, who was looking at the box with brows furrowed. 

“I'm sorry, Buck. At least they're trying?” 

Buck appreciated that Maddie was always trying to take the scraps of love his parents gave him and make a blanket out of it. Most days it was just a little too small, like it just couldn't cover him, but today he let it warm him. Be better for your kid, Buck. Move on if only for your kid. 

He gave Maddie a small smile and let out a small, “Yeah, you're right.” 

Maddie smiled at him, the way she always had when she knew she couldn't get them to be better parents, but she could get Buck to let it go for a little bit. 

Buck sucked a breath in and sat up again. 

“Well, uh, should we--should we read the note first?” 

Maddie perked up and reached for it. 

“Yes! The box came to your house, so why don't you read it?” 

Buck nodded, taking the note and unfolding it. 

“Buck,” he said, voice steadying out as he read, “we wanted to send you this box of memories from when you were a baby. You probably have noticed that this box is too new to have been bought all of those years ago--you always noticed things like that.”

At this, Buck felt himself tense, clearing his throat before continuing. 

“And you're right, it is new. You already know that we made mistakes, and we can't make up for them. So, this box is not your baby box. But we hope--” 

Buck felt his eyes sting, and he pressed his lips together. 

“We hope that this can be your baby's box. Inside is another box for you to keep the pictures of you safe when you start to fill this one with all of the wonderful things you gather in your baby's life. You were a beautiful baby, and though we know you don't know yet who the father of your baby is, we can't help but hope that they look just like you did. Love, Mom and Dad.” 

Buck paused here, pulling in a shaky breath. He jumped a bit when Maddie's hand rubbed his back soothingly. He had almost forgotten she was there. 

“Hey,” Maddie said quietly, ducking down to catch Buck's eye from where he was still looking at the paper in front of him, the words swimming across the page. “It's okay, Buck.” 

Buck nodded, sniffling hard and reaching a sleeve-clad fist up to rub at his eyes. 

“Ye-yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks, Maddie.” 

Buck looked at the paper again, seeing another line underneath the sign off. 

“P.S.,” He read out again, voice only cracking a little. “Your baby's cousin is getting older. Please give the jewelry box also enclosed to Maddie so that Jee-Yun can see what her mom used to wear when she was that age.” 

Maddie winced, sighing. “Yeah, thanks, Mom. I think the extra postage would have been worth keeping the moment a moment.” 

Buck chuckled, folding the note back up and putting it back on the table, staring once again at the wooden box. He breathed steadily before looking at Maddie. 

“Can uh, can we open yours first? I don't think I'm ready for mine.” 

Maddie nodded, giving him a squeeze on the arm before reaching for the box. 

“Well, we can do that if you've got a...tiny lock-picking kit? I think the reason I left this at home is because I lost the key to it a long time ago.” 

She turned it left and right in her hands, pulling at the lid and frowning. Buck laughed, holding a hand out. 

“That lock is like, 40 years old at this point. I think a screwdriver will take care of it.” 

Maddie handed it over and Buck stood to take it into the kitchen. He reached into their junk drawer and grabbed a screw driver that wasn't good enough to keep in the garage, Evan, but not bad enough to throw it away, and set at the lock. Secretly, he hopped the lock and the screwdriver would break. 

The lock popped open without much of a fight, and Buck looked at the intact screwdriver before rolling his eyes and putting it back into the drawer. He took the box back to Maddie and held it out to her. 

“Thanks!” 

Maddie opened the box, and with the lid open Buck could see an absolute riot of colors, plastic, and chains. 

“Oh ho ho, wow.” Buck laughed as he sat back down, looking over into the box. “That is quite the collection.” 

“Hey!” Maddie exclaimed, pretending to be offended. “I will have you know that all of this was the absolute height of fashion in the late nineties.” 

Buck leveled a flat look at her and she cracked, laughing brightly. 

“Yeah, you're right. It's kind of a mess.” she reached into the box, pulling a long necklace that looked like it was made of aquarium rocks and fishing line out of the pile and examining it. “But, she's not wrong. I think Jee is going to love this stuff.” 

Buck nodded, knowing it was true based on the outfits that Jee had begun to put together for her days at school. 

Maddie continued pulling things out, eventually grabbing the entire bottom tray and lifting it. 

“If I remember, there's even a-” she paused, coaxing the tray out all of the way. “Yes! There's a little secret compartment.” 

Buck watched in interest as a small ribbon loop appeared on one of the seams of the box. Maddie gripped it before looking up at Buck with a grin. 

“What do we think pre-teen to teen Maddie hid in here? Love notes?” Maddie moved her eyebrows up and down and Buck laughed along. 

“Knowing you it's probably just all of the A+ marks from all of your assignments.” 

“What?!” She exclaimed, Mouth dropping open. “Come on, no way I was that boring.” 

She looked back down on the ribbon and pulled, taking the false bottom out completely and revealing a small compartment that contained a few pieces of paper and a small, dark cylinder. 

Maddie reached for the papers first, chuckling when they turned out to be two movie ticket stubs and an old game of M.A.S.H. on notebook paper. She turned the ticket stubs over in her hand and sighed.

“Andy Jensen.” 

Buck raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate. “Uh, who?” 

“Andy Jensen, my first movie date.” 

Buck laughed, peaking at the tickets. 

“Did he get you the big popcorn or was he cheap?” 

“Oh, he was the perfect gentleman. The big popcorn and a box of raisinettes.” 

Buck wrinkled his nose and scoffed. 

“Raisinettes? Gross.” 

“Hey!” She whacked Buck with the back of her hand that still held the tickets. “It's not like they ever took us to the movies so I didn't know.” 

Buck allowed that one with a nod. He tilted his head at her and raised an eyebrow.

“How did you get them to let you go? You couldn't have been older than twelve.” 

Maddie grinned, leaning in as if to share a secret. 

“They thought I was at a speech and debate tournament.” 

“What?! You lied to them and snuck around? You?”

Maddie laughed, her eyes closing as she did. 

“Yes,” She looked at Buck seriously. “And that's the reason I only have two. I knew that there was no way I could get away with three.” 

Evan laughed, shaking his head. “Now that I do believe.” 

Maddie's laugh tapered out and she looked back down at the box. Her hand reached in for the last remaining thing, the cylinder. 

“Is this--” she held it up to the light, “is this film?” 

She twisted It around in her hands and shook it. 

“It must be. Wow. Talk about a throwback. Are there even places that will still develop this?” 

Buck looked at it thoughtfully. “Yeah, there's some specialty camera shops that will do it, I think.” 

Maddie nodded, setting the canister down to the side and began to reassemble the jewelry box before closing its lid and looking to Buck, hands on her lap. 

“Well,” she began, and Buck groaned, “It's your turn. Do you want me to open it?” 

“No uh,” Buck licked his lips, nodding once to steel himself before reaching out for his box. “No, thanks though. I've got it, I think.” 

Buck opened the box slowly and took in what he saw. Maddie leaned over so their arms were pressed together and she could see as well. 

On top, covering the rest of the contents, was a yellow baby blanket folded neatly. The blanket was soft under his hands as he took it out and smoothed it over one thigh. He ran his fingers over one of it’'s stitched edges, wondering at the way the yellow almost, almost looked exactly like bumble breeze. 

Buck forced himself to go back to the box, reaching in for the next thing he saw: a tiny beanie-style hat with a line of even tinier circus animals marching across the lip. He smiled at it, setting it on top of the blanket. 

Next was a soft cotton bib whose color scheme just screamed early nineties, followed by two board books: Goodnight Moon and Where’s Spot?. Evan looked at both, unable to pull up even a hint of a memory of his parents reading either. But, Maddie reached over to grab both and started to coo over them. 

“Oh, wow. You used to love this one.” She held up Where's Spot?, and Buck could see that one corner of the book was frayed and honestly looked chewed on. Maddie clocked his look and chuckled. “You really loved this one.” 

She set the books on the coffee table for him and made a gesture to encourage him to continue. 

Unsurprisingly, there isn't much more in the box. Buck feels a pang of disappointment that he thinks will always be there, and pushes on anyway. 

He grabs for what he thinks is a stuffed animal first, though he doesn't know what color it's supposed to be and honestly he's not sure if it's a dog, a cat, or a very smooth sheep. 

Maddie makes a noise as it comes out of the box, a cross between an exclamation and a sigh. 

“Bingo.” she breathes, looking at the...rabbit? 

“Excuse me?” Buck asks, confused. 

Maddie shook herself and smiled. 

“That's bingo, your dog. You used to take him everywhere with you. I completely forgot about him.” 

Buck handed the dog --a dog? Really?--over to her, because even if she wasn't reaching for it he knew she wanted to hold it. 

She smiled at him gratefully and ran her fingers over it's head. 

“It was pretty cute, you used to sleep with him tucked in next to you. I thought you had lost him.” 

Buck couldn't help but smile softly at her and try to remember the stuffed animal. 

“He certainly looks like something that belonged to me.” Buck said, trying to bring her back around with a laugh. It worked, and she laughed quietly. 

“Definitely. He's the reason I know how to sew, actually. You had caught his leg on a nail in the fence around mom's garden and cried and cried over it, thinking you had hurt him.” 

Maddie gently turned bingo over and found his back leg which had a slightly wonky line of blue stitches on it. 

“The next day I checked out a book on sewing from the library and snuck some thread and a needle out of mom's sewing kit. I stayed up half the night stabbing myself, but it was worth it when you said that he was “all better again” and thanked me.” 

Maddie looked far away for a second before she closed her eyes, swallowed, and smiled up at him, handing bingo back. 

“It was kind of insufferably adorable. If your kid is anything like it you're going to have a hard time not spoiling them.” 

Buck took the attempt at levity for what it was and laughed with her. He already knew Tommy will fold at any little thing, so he needs to make sure one of them keeps it together. 

Buck sets Bingo down gingerly and can't help but notice Maddie battling to not look at it further. He braced himself for the last item in the larger box; a smaller, more ornately carved box with brass corner pieces. He reached in to pull the smaller box out and held it over his lap, still holding the blanket, hat, and bib. 

Buck was sure he had seen baby pictures of himself at some point, but he couldn't remember any, and this felt like the first time. Buck opened the box and stared down at a stack of pictures, not too many, just enough to fill out the bottom of the box. 

Pulling the pictures out, he leaned into Maddie's space and she held the other side of the pictures lightly. The first was of an impossibly tiny baby with a pink birth mark on either side of one eyebrow, asleep in the hospital. 

“Wow.” Buck breathed out almost involuntarily, grappling with seeing himself so small. 

“I know,” Maddie said, pressing their shoulders together. “You were so tiny.” 

Buck flipped to the next picture--it was Maddie, holding him in a hospital chair, grinning widely. 

Maddie giggled a bit at the picture, surprised to see her own young face. 

“I was so excited because I hadn't known Daniel as a baby, so when you were born I thought I was so grown up getting to hold you and help take care of you.” 

Buck sighed softly, taking in the picture before flipping to the next. 

The rest of the pictures were similar: baby Buck in a crib, baby Buck standing up in a play pen with a gummy smile, baby Buck being held by Maddie in the sunlight. 

When he came back around to the first picture, Buck wasn't sure if he was happy to have the pictures in his hands or even more disappointed than before when he realized it was so few of them. 

Maddie took the pictures out of his hand gently, placing them back into the smaller box and closing its lid, taking it from him with both hands and setting it on the coffee table. 

Her arms wrapped around him and held tight; Buck just let it wash over him for a moment. 

They were quiet, just taking it in and letting Buck's mind spin through a hundred thoughts before trusting himself to speak. 

“Wow, that uh.” Buck swallowed hard, not sure where he was going. “Well. I'm, uh, I'm glad they sent the stuff. Really.” 

“Buck--” 

“No, really, Maddie. I am glad. And I've got this box for the baby, right? And this stuff--this blanket and the books, and Bingo.” 

Buck forced a grin to stretch across his face before running a hand through his hair and lifting the other items off of his lap and back into the baby box. He continued speaking when he saw Maddie's worried look. 

“Really, Maddie. I'm okay. This is a good thing.” He breathed deeply. “And your box too, huh? That's some fun stuff, Jee is really gonna love it.” 

Maddie finally accepted Buck's diversions and nodded. 

“You're right, this is a good thing, Buck.” Maddie sniffed a little and grabbed her box and the film canister that Buck had forgotten about. “And...I've got about 25 minutes to get to Jee's school or I'm going to be trapped in the pick up line forever. I’m sorry to run on you--when is Tommy off shift?” 

Buck gave her a small smile and stood up with her as she checked her watch. 

“Not long,” he told her, “He should be home within the hour and then we've got nursery furniture shopping with the council at 6.” 

Maddie laughed, walking toward the front door. 

“Well, I hope the council makes some good decisions. Or, well, Christopher at least.” 

Buck grinned, following her and holding the door open as she got her shoes and bag, stuffing the pink box and canister into it and fishing out her keys. 

“It's a good thing he has good taste. Honestly, I trust him more than Eddie and Sal.” 

Maddie laughed, turning to Buck once more and putting a hand on his arm. 

“I know this is hard, Buck. But I hope you know how special you've always been. And how nice it was for me to remember what those days were like.” 

Buck softened, nodding. 

“Yeah. Like I said. It's a good thing, right? New beginnings.” 

Maddie smiled again before blinking and nodding determinedly. 

“Okay, I'm off to pick up. Let's do dinner soon, okay? Soon enough you won't have nearly as much free time.” 

“You got, Maddie. Just let me know the time and place.” 

Maddie smiled once more before stepping down the stairs, getting into her car, and driving away. Buck waited until her car disappeared around the corner of the street before he went back inside. 

Back in the living room, Buck sunk back into the couch feeling drained. He had about 40 minutes until Tommy was home, so he put everything Back into the baby box, tossed the note in the recycling, and looked around helplessly before realizing he should probably just leave the box there to be explained and dealt with later. At the very least, Tommy would love to see the pictures. 

Time passed and Buck went back to his little tasks, closing the nursery window, switching the load of laundry from washer to dryer, emptying the bathroom trash. Finally, he heard the front door open and Tommy’s keys hit the console table. 

“Evan?” He heard Tommy call out. “What's this?” 

Buck knew he was talking about the box, and he prepared himself to go over the story again. At least he felt a little more solid this time around. 

“It's from my parents,” Buck called back. “For the baby. I'll be right there.” 

Three weeks passed from the day Buck got the package from his parents, and he had completely forgotten about the little mystery that was inadvertently included, until Maddie, Chimney, and Jee came over for dinner. 

The dinner was smooth and casual, talking about the baby which would be coming very soon, about how excited Jee was for a cousin, making fun of Tommy for the mistake he and Eddie made by building the crib in the living room instead of the nursery and not realizing that their home didn't have the widest of doors. 

Buck felt good, the closer they got to the due date. He felt settled in himself in so many ways that he hadn't before, felt like he was ready for this and all of the change it would bring to his life. Buck knew that he and Tommy had an entire family and support network with them and that their baby would grow up never questioning that they were loved, always warm in ways that Buck and Tommy didn't have. 

As the night wound down, Buck was showing Maddie the finished nursery, the sun setting and casting a dreamy glow on the room, with its yellow walls and cream colored carpet. They found themselves sitting in the matching rocking chairs Buck and Tommy had been so insistent on, talking about sleeping arrangements, diaper disposal, and anything else that came to mind. 

The conversation tapered off and Buck saw Maddie looking at the open closet, where the wooden baby box had sat untouched since Buck placed it there after going through its contents with Tommy. 

“There was something else I wanted to show you,” Maddie said. “But I need you to bring the box downstairs.” 

Buck looked at her curiously, but knew from the look on her face that she wouldn't be explaining further until he had complied. He nodded, and got up to get the box. 

Maddie stood and met him at the door, gesturing for him to lead the way. 

Downstairs, Tommy and Chim were talking quietly as they cleaned the kitchen post-dinner, and Jee had found her way to her favorite napping spot: the window seat in the breakfast nook, and was out like a light. 

Like before, Buck found himself on the couch with Maddie; a box of all the things that made their lives complicated in front of them. 

Maddie paused, and reached around the couch where her purse was set down upon their arrival. 

“I found a specialty shop, and they charged me an arm and a leg, but they got that film that was in my jewelry box developed. I was able to pick it up today, and I wanted to go through the photos with you. I started to look at them earlier, but the first one told me what they were, and I wanted you to be here for the rest.” 

Buck nodded, feeling like something was stuck in his throat, unable to speak louder than a whisper. 

“Okay.” 

Maddie pulled a paper envelope from her purse and slid it open, revealing a thick stack of photos. 

The first was, at first, strange to Buck: a white hospital room, a bed with a yellow rectangle held up in front of it, two hands just visible gripping the top. To the side, a woman in a nurse's uniform looking at the rectangle and smiling softly. 

“Is that--” Buck started, but Maddie put the photo down on the table to show the next one--the photo almost completely yellow, broken up only by a neat line of blue stitches, which, upon further inspection, slipped into three cursive letters before evening back out: an M, a D, and an E. 

Buck understood now why Maddie wanted the box. He tore his eyes from the pictures and opened the baby box, pulling the blanket out of its fold and scanning along the seam until he found the letters; running his finger along them gently. 

He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him suddenly, looking down at the delicate stitching. 

“Maddie, Daniel, and Evan.” Buck breathed, touching each letter as he said the names. He held it out to Maddie for her to examine, and she did with shining eyes. 

“The woman in the picture was his nurse, Sarah. She was so sweet--and she must have made this for him to give to you.” 

Buck just breathed for a moment, unsure of what to do other than marvel at the blanket and photos. 

“And,” Maddie began again, “there's more.” 

Maddie began laying photos out, almost all of Daniel. But--they were about Buck. 

Daniel holding the little hat with circus animals up with a grin. 

Daniel, hand wrapped around an IV pole, standing on a chair to glance into a room which had a line of babies in bassinets in it. 

Daniel, holding a drawing up in front of his chest that said “Welcome, Baby Evan!” in wonky kid font. 

Daniel and Maddie with Bingo, looking new--and much more like a dog--in between them with a bow on its head. 

Daniel, holding Buck, a look of wonder on his face. 

Buck didn't know when he started crying, but he quickly wiped away a tear that fell on a photo of a drawing of a family with a little baby, with the initials “DB” written proudly in the corner. 

Buck couldn't bring himself to look at Maddie; but couldn't continue looking at the photos without breaking into an all out sob.

“Buck,” Maddie said gently, reaching out to him with a tissue she must have produced in the magic way that Mom's can, and one more photo. “This one, out of all of them, is really for you.” 

Buck took both, blocking out the world for just a moment by covering both eyes with the tissue and just trying to breathe. When he felt like he wasn't completely shaking apart anymore, he looked down at the photo that Maddie handed him. This one was different--there was no Daniel, no hospital, nothing but a note written in clear penmanship taking up the entire photo. 

Buck took a rattling inhale and read the note out loud. 

“Dear Evan, 

 My name is Sarah, and I was your brother Daniel’s nurse. Today, your brother learned that he won't be around to watch you grow up. He wanted me to write this note to you and make sure you get it some day. I'm taking a photo of it and giving the film to your sister. Daniel writes: 

Hi Evan, my name is Daniel, and I was your brother. Nurse Sarah is helping me write to you because I am going to die soon, and I won't be there to be your big brother. I'm really sorry I have to leave, Evan, I think I really would have liked to be your brother. I don't think you'll remember me, so Nurse Sarah made you a blanket that says M, D, and E on it, so you always know that we were together. Also, she gave me a little hat that you can wear with some of my favorite animals on it, and she even bought a little dog at the hospital gift shop here and she's letting Maddie and I say it was a gift from us. 

Maddie told me that you were born to try and help me get better, but I don't think that's very fair, because you're just a little baby and if the doctors can't help me, how could you? I'm really sick but that isn't your fault. If Maddie was telling the truth, I'm okay with being sick, because it means you got to be born.  

I love you, Evan. You are the best little brother ever. Maddie is a good big sister, even if she is a little annoying sometimes, but she is gonna help you. I hope you get to grow up and have lots of fun, and have a good life. I hope you never get sick like me. 

Nurse Sarah says that some day, after you have had a really good life, we will get to be together again and you will remember me then. I think that will be really nice, and I hope that I can be a good brother when that happens. 

Love, Daniel” 

Buck's voice tapered off, and he felt tears rolling hot down his cheeks, unending. He felt like he was shaking, like he was far away and too close all at once, like he was taken apart and told to start again.

He startled when he felt Maddie crash into his side, sobbing herself, hiccuping in breaths. Buck turned fully to envelop her, pressing his check against the top of her head and just trying to stay in one piece. 

He doesn't know how long they stayed like that, but they finally broke apart when Chimney gathered the photos up to keep them safe in the envelope and Tommy was sliding into the couch behind Buck to support his body. Buck looked down, furiously scrubbing at his eyes with his shirt sleeve and gasping quietly. Tommy lifted his arm behind Buck and Buck fell into it gratefully; hoping that Tommy could take the burden of keeping him grounded just for a little bit. 

Chimney finished putting the pictures away and kneeled before Maddie, talking quietly to her as she dabbed at her eyes with another tissue. They both nodded, and then looked over at Buck and Tommy. 

“Well,” Chimney started, falling back to his talent for keeping things light, “who needs dessert when you have life-shifting catharsis to fill you up? It's late, and I think right now everyone needs to process for a little while. We're gonna get Jee and head home.” 

Buck felt Tommy nod, but couldn't bring himself to look over or speak. 

“Okay, Howie. Thanks for coming, guys.” 

Chimney said something else, but Buck missed it completely and only really registered Maddie kissing him on his head before they made their way out into the warm August night. 

Buck came back to himself in stops and starts, feeling dried out and exhausted. He moved finally and looked at Tommy, who looked calmly back at him and brushed the curls from Buck's forehead. 

“Hi, Evan.” he said quietly, eyes roving over Buck’s face. “Do you want to go lay down, now?” 

Buck nodded, scrubbing at his fast with tired hands before standing when Tommy did. 

“I'm just gonna get you some water, you can head up if you like.” 

Tommy stepped away and headed to the kitchen, but Buck was frozen, eyes drawn to the yellow blanket still out on the couch, where it ended up scrunched between him and Maddie. 

Tommy came back with a glass of water in his hand and stopped, his other hand coming to rest on Buck's lower back. 

“Evan?” 

Buck's mouth opened but it took a moment for words to form.

“I...I had a brother. His name was Daniel. He died, but he loved me.” 

Buck felt like something was unfurling within him, like a padlocked door was being opened at long last. 

“He was so little, and he was so sick, and he knew he was going to die. But he loved me anyway.” 

Tommy stayed quiet, letting Buck speak at his own pace. 

“If it wasn't for Daniel, I wouldn't have been born. And what happened after was neither of our faults. And he tried so hard to make sure I knew that he loved me. In some ways, he succeeded. This blanket, the little dog, the hat. But in so many ways I might have never known.” 

Buck takes one last heaving breath, feeling like he was breaking the surface of the ocean after holding his breath beneath the waves for too long. 

“Growing up I felt like I could never figure it out, I could never be what I was supposed to be. But I think...I was just supposed to live. To live when he couldn't, and to know I was loved, even when I couldn't see it.” 

Buck looked at Tommy, face determined. 

“I don't want his love to go on being locked away, unknown...undeveloped for decades.” 

Tommy bent down to sit the glass of water softly on the coffee table, then gathered Buck into his arms. 

“I think,” he said slowly, speaking right by Buck’s ears, “that when that little girl is born next month, Danielle is going to be the perfect name.” 

Buck sees it, through that opening door inside him. Sees a little girl wrapped in a yellow blanket, wrapped in love deferred, love anew, love unending.

He breathes, he settles, and he feels whole. 

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Can you write something for: "being Tommy's wife"? Please. The girl would have been raised by Polly, who raised and loves her like a daughter. She grew up with the boys, especially Tommy. She witnessed Finn's birth and everything. When he goes to war, he promises to stay with her when he returns. Another, Tommy's brothers have her as a sister so they will defend her as one, Ada and her are best friends and Isaiah had a crush on her as a kid... Kisses, sorry for the long thing, I love your stories, see u later 🩷.

Hey Love,

I am deeply sorry this took a million years to write. Thanks for sending this in and for being so kind. I'm so happy that you enjoy my writing. Hope you like this one <3

Warnings: Peaky related themes like violence, murder, drunk dads, beatings, suicide, childbirth - and of course kissing and cuteness

You had always been close with the Shelby Family. Your mother died in childbirth leaving you without siblings, something that was easily remedied with the constant chaos of your next-door neighbors. You were often lumped in with them as your father worked constantly. You traded what extra things you had for their company. You weren't rich living on Watery Lane, but you always had extra bread which was kind of like being rich. 

As you got older you started to understand what happened down at the Betting Shop. You remembered Arthur taking Tommy aside and telling him to keep you as far away from there as possible. So he took you down to the cut and you spent most of your time with the horses in Charlie’s yard. 

Those moments were your happiest. Tommy was always around to get into trouble with. One night when your dad had laid a beating on you for ruining a pair of shoes in the stable he’d helped you climb out of your window across the ledge and into his bedroom. He’d fixed your swelling cheek with some ice wrapped in a kitchen towel. 

There was an unspoken easiness between the two of you. John and Arthur were different. John was always teasing you loudly and Arthur was always laughing. Always fun and games until someone was giving you a hard time, then they were all business. 

You’d been there for Finn’s birth. A memory that was both happy and sad. You normally avoided the Shelby parents at all costs. Mrs. Shelby had a dead look in her eyes and she would twirl around the kitchen talking to ghosts, other times she would cry out in the night so loud you could hear her in your own apartment. Mr. Shelby was mean. Not much to him other than that. Finn was special, he was the first baby you ever held. You had to help Polly clean him off and get him sorted when he was born. You remembered sitting down once he had been fed and fallen asleep. You sat down covered in after birth swearing you would never have children. Ever. 

Watching Tommy come into the room and hold his sleeping brother with a look in his eyes, something deep inside you reconsidered. 

Polly was alright, she’d always put bows in your hair and read your tea leaves. Out of all the adults in your life, you had the biggest soft spot for her. She had all the juiciest stories that made you want to go out and start living your own life. 

Something you were just on the cusp of doing before the war started. 

The boys left and you tried not to let it break you. The unmovable safety they had brought you was gone and the city seemed vicious. Tommy wasn't there when your father was drunk… Tommy wasn't there at all. You’d stayed awake all night before he left. Laying there with him talking about everything you wouldn't be able to talk about while he was gone. Well, almost everything. You held his hand and laughed till your ribs hurt at all his jokes about what it would be like and what he would do while he was gone. Anything to keep the truth of it at bay. You wanted to tell him how you felt but you didn’t want him to carry more burdens with him when he left. You promised him that Ada, Finn, and John’s kids wouldn't starve and he’d kissed your cheek and promised he’d come back for you. Those words haunted your every moment.

To avoid your father and the emptiness of missing Tommy you threw yourself into your job as a mid-wife. At the end of the day you would sneak food out of your pantry and bring it over to Polly. She ran a tight ship void of all the things you had enjoyed about her when you were a kid. She was hard on the kids and they were mostly Ada’s responsibility as Polly shouldered the betting shop. There was a balance, most of your money went to the household and Polly was always grateful for your help. Things were fine until they weren't. Young boys who weren't quite yet fighting age had started up gangs and more drugs and conflict swept through the streets of Birmingham. You ended up working while also causing lots of trouble. 

The worst night of it came just before Tommy had come home. You’d killed another stupid idiot pushing his wrapped body into the cut in the middle of the night. It was exhausting, for every life you brought into the world you ended another. A cycle you didn't think you would ever end up in. You knelt by the side of the river letting the rain soak through your clothes. Looking down into the black water you could feel the same pull that took Mrs. Shelby. It was calling out to you softly but you shook your head. You had a lot more fight still left in you. 

______________Tommy’s POV 

Coming home wasn't the relief he thought it would be all those years ago. He came home and you hugged him tightly. While you looked like you were bursting with life he felt like like he was dead on the inside. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes bright. Your fingernails had a pink tinge to them. He’d hoped it was from your job as a midwife but he knew how bad things had gotten here. He could feel it in the way people looked at you on their walk home from the train station. Settling in was awful. The nightmares that kept him up at night, the sad sense of rejection that was growing around you. But the weight of the business is what was crushing him. He needed you and Polly out of it, he needed to step up as a man should. You especially should have never had to get your hands as dirty as they were. But there you were all those names etched into your soul, and you still looked at him with girlish adoration, as if he wasn't the man who had commended your life. 

Things between him and Polly had never been worse, any move he made she would disagree. You still kept looking at him with your big eyes full of emotions he didn't know how to feel anymore. 

Ada was a few years younger than you but you were both old enough now that it wasn't noticeable. He saw the both of you sitting on the front step watching some men moving furniture out of the house down the street. There were glasses of wine between you and the sun made the flush of your cheeks look so red. Ada mumbled something and waved to Isiah as he passed by and both of you burst into giggles. That’s when he realized if he didn't make good on his promise, you wouldn't be around. Men looked at you with fear, but they also acknowledged the fierce competence and loyalty you have. By the time he got the business up, and then got it legal, you would probably be married off. He hated the sense of panic he felt bubble up in his stomach. Just once he would like to feel something pleasant. 

All day he thought about what to do. They were drinking beer around the table. He was always happy listening to John and Arthur tell jokes. It made him happy that they had managed to keep more of themselves alive than he had himself. 

“Going to head out for the night. I’m on call tomorrow so I can only help around the house.” You looked at Polly who nodded. Your eyes flashed to him for a second before wrapping your wool shawl around your shoulders. 

“I’ll walk you home.” He could feel John and Arthur’s eyes narrow in on him as the silence rolled through the room. 

“You haven't forgotten I only live next door have you?” You smiled at him and gestured for him to come along. He followed you down the stairs and out the front door. Three steps to your front door and you turned to look at him.

“Well, this is me.” You pointed at the door giving him a smile. “I’d invite you in for a drink but my father wouldn't approve.” 

“Walk with me?” He asked and he wished there was more emotion in his tone. You raised your eyebrows and he almost wanted to laugh. 

“A private meeting with Mr.Shelby. Wow.” You linked your arm in his and he could tell that there was hurt under your humor. 

“Things-” His voice trailed off as he lost all the things he had thought about telling you. He wanted to tell you to marry him but that was much to forward you deserved something nice and for it to move at your own pace. 

“Are different” You finished. “You're not you, Polly is pulling her hair out, and your secret-keeping is making it impossible to help with the business.” 

“Precisely.” He said in a cold tone. He wanted to explain but the words were still gone. 

“Well, fix it then.” You said in a short tone. “You came home and made a mess of things, so fix it.” 

“It’s not that easy.” He pulled a cigarette out and offered you one. You nodded and he lit one, taking a drag then watched as you took it from him. Your lips perched where his had been a moment before. His eyes focused on your mouth and he could feel the tension become obvious. 

“I want to make things right between us. I’m just not sure how.” He said the words slowly finally dragging his gaze from your mouth. Your cheeks had flushed again and he fought the urge to stroke your cheek. 

“Thomas. All you have to do is trust me. Then talk to me. We spent our whole lives that way. Only four years were apart.” There was pleading your eyes and he wondered if he would ever be able to deny you anything. 

“Alright. I want to shoulder most of the business.” You sighed and he continued on. “Not because you and Polly aren't competent, but because things are even higher risk than they have been. I want to shoulder the consequences. To do that I need to keep you out of it.” 

“I don’t want you to face things alone. Not the risk or the consequences.” It was his turn to let out a sigh. 

“I know you don't, that’s why I -” He what? Was in love with you, wanted to marry you? Wanted to build you a life that would make any other woman on the planet die of a jealous heart? 

“You what?” They were by the cut now and you turned to look at him. You were angry and you had every right to be. 

“I want to marry you.” He blurted the words out and ran a hand through his hair. Your hands flew to your mouth and you looked at him with wide eyes illuminated by the moonlight. Was this positive or negative? The regret and embarrassment started to creep up his neck when you lunged at him. 

He stumbled slightly before properly handling your weight. Your arms were tight around his neck and all he could smell was the perfume along your neck. He took a deep breath, the first real breath he had taken since leaving France. He wanted the weight of you pressed up against him all the time. The feeling you brought him was enough to keep the demons at bay. How selfish was it of him to take this easy path out. He should have worked out a proposal and should have courted you properly. 

“We don’t - we could -” He tried to figure out what he wanted to ask. 

“Shut up and let me have my moment.” You said before pulling away enough to kiss him. It was soft and slow and he knew without a doubt he was yours forever. 

After a good amount of kissing, he smiled at you and meant it. He walked you home and then took his beating from Arthur and John. 

“I don’t care if God himself descended from the sky to claim her. She’s my sister and you won’t hurt her Tommy.” Tommy couldn't remember the last time he heard his brother’s voice sound so lethal. 

“You’ll be held to the same standards as any other dumbass wanting to date her,” John added. 

“Trying to do the opposite of hurt her.” He said wanted them to see he was trying to make you happy too. 

“That’s what they all say,” Arthur said with pointed eyes before bursting out into a booming laugh. “I want this to happen, brother I do. Just don’t mess around with her.” Arthur gave him a rough pat on the back and John started to make jokes about all the ways Tommy could disappoint you. 

Eventually, they let him go up to his room. You had already climbed across the ledge to his window and gotten into his bed.

“Took you long enough.” You said it as a joke but there was something in your voice that gave you away. You were starting to think he wasn't going to show up. 

“Boys had to rough me up a bit first.” Tommy shrugged his jacket off. 

“Why? what did you do?” Her eyes looked him over with concern. 

“Showed an interest in you. They had to do the usual.” He said absently changing into his pj’s trying to seem unbothered by your gaze watching him closely as he undressed. 

“What’s the usual?” You whispered.

“Bit of a beating, the usual threats. Part of dating someones sister.” 

“You mean any guy that’s wanted to date me has been roughed up by the three of you?!” 

“Yeah.” Tommy leaned against the wall looking at you laying in his bed in your night clothes. Head propped up on your arm. 

“I thought I was ugly.” You whispered still in shock over this news.

“What?!” Tommy laughed again. 

“None of the boys ever asked me out over the years. I thought I was ugly.” Tommy moved across the room and into the bed to assure you that you were never ugly.  

_____________________________

It took a lot of time to get out of that house on Watery Lane. Your father had passed before your wedding and Arthur walked you down the aisle. Ada and Poly felt all was right in the universe once you joined the family properly. They had a lot of fun planning the whole thing out. Your honeymoon was in the new house, a massive thing that Tommy had built for you.  It was large but warm.

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

YOU AND TOMMY IN THE BATH

Pairing.| Tommy Shelby x fem!reader

Word count.| .2k

Notes.| Just a little fluffy blurb, open to requests.

You’d always be the only line of therapy that Tommy needed, craved. Especially when he was alone in the bath and he’d spot your soft eyes watching him. Gently, he’d gesture to you to come over, “come’ere love” he’d always smile kindly at you.

You’d gracefully approach him, slowly shredding your silk gown, nothing underneath. Tommy was certain he’d always be a slave to your beauty. With your hand on his shoulder, you push him forward and climb into the tub behind him. A relaxed exhale would leave both of your lips as you wrapped your arm over his firm chest.

The bar of soap would caress over his skin, you’d always tut whenever you’d notice a new mark on his pale built body. All you could hear was the sound of the water splatter around gently, Tommy’s head rested back against your shoulder as he closed his eyes and breathed out. The gears in his head would finally come to a halt. Business was officially put on hold as he focused his mind on you. Only you could ever keep his demons at bay.

Sometimes one of you would fall asleep, sometimes you’d both fall asleep, but most of the time you just enjoyed each other's company. Words never needed to be said, conversation was always to the minimal. The tenderness was always in your heavenly kisses, it spoke such powerful words in your relationship. It truly made his skin feel electrified. All Tommy needed was you, here with him. On the occasion you’d devour each other in the tub. But most of the time, Tommy just wanted to be held and loved in his most vulnerable position.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Ravi(goes to stand with Hen and Chimney at the loft railing):...What are you doing? Hen: Buck and Tommy. (Ravi looks where they're looking and sees Buck and Tommy standing (closely together) at the bay door having coffee, and talking and laughing) Chimney: Fifty down on whether Eddie shows up to challenge Tommy to a duel. Ravi: Oh, can I get in on that with (looking through his wallet)...five? Hen: That's not a bet, that's milk money, dude. (as they watch, Buck laugh loudly at something Tommy says) Chimney: Oh and he's laughing! Because he made a joke, which probably wasn't funny. Oh ha ha, oh you funny pilot man...! Ravi: I left the rest of my cash at home. Hen(noticing something): Oh here we go, here we go. OK - (Eddie comes in through the bay door, past Buck and Tommy) Chimney: Come on, come one, come on....! ( Eddie continues on, glancing over at Buck and Tommy, but then looking back at his phone) Hen(smiles, making 'grabby-hand' motion for Chim's money):...Takes it like a man, and walks away. (Eddie suddenly stops and turns back around, walking back toward Buck and Tommy) Ravi: - He's coming back. Chimney: Oh yes he is! Mm-hmm, give me my money! (Buck sees Eddie approaching) Eddie: Hi. You having coffee? Buck: In fact we are. Eddie: Oh, it looks good. You know I'm sorry to interrupt, but I have to do inventory on the truck and you know that's always more efficiently done with two people. So, you wanna gimme a hand? Buck: Are you serious? When? Tommy: I'm gonna guess now. Eddie: Look if you're busy don't bother, it's no problem. But I just think more eyes and more hands make less work, y'know? Buck(to Tommy): I'm sorry. I really am better with the clipboard than he is. Tommy: It's OK. Buck: I'll call you tonight. I'm sorry Tommy. Tommy: It's OK. Go. Eddie(to Tommy): Take care! (Buck and Eddie walk away from Tommy, and Tommy leaves. Chimney and Hen start laughing) Hen: I think I owe you another twenty for that... Chimney: Yeah I think you do!