#bucky and natasha don't even care because they saw how distraught steve was when he found out tony hadn't sent any letters

[aurumacadicus]

Plz post a scene of Bucky finally catching up to Steve after being taken out at the knees. Please 🙏🙏🙏

The next time there's a knock on the door, Steve is passed out on the couch with a glass of water on the coffee table. Steve didn't get to 'love on' him very long before the meds kicked in all the way.

"You can't beat him to death. He's asleep," Tony tells Bucky imperiously as he opens the door. Then he sort of chokes, taking a step back in shock.

"...I take it that Steve didn't really have time to go into the extent of the attack before he passed out," Bucky drawls, stepping past him as if Tony isn't staring at the pinned-up sleeve at his left shoulder. "Punk. I gave him his painkiller right on time and he looked me in my eyes and whacked my knee with his crutch. He'll be lucky if I beat him to death."

"Um," Tony says, because he's never really known what to say in the face of their casual violence toward each other. His friendship with Rhodey is built on the fact that they like to cuddle a lot.

Bucky looks Steve over carefully, then sighs, dropping into the chair across from him. "Well, he looks like he's in one piece. I suppose I can forgive him just this once, considering that he was so distraught when he woke up and I had to tell him he didn't have anymore letters."

Tony finds himself shrinking in embarrassment. "Oh. Well, I thought--"

"I know why the letters stopped coming, Tony," Bucky sighs, rolling his eyes. "Kid meant well, and it's not your fault, I'm just tellin' ya like it is. 's kinda why we're here when he--" He raises voice. "Should still be in the hospital!"

"Snorkmimimi," Steve answers, face still pressed unattractively into the cushion beneath him.

Bucky waves at Steve tiredly, in a 'what can you do' sort of fashion, as if Tony is not gaping at his prone body in offense for being tricked. "Shithead. Anyway, Natasha's coming with his overnight bag, and I'll explain to you all the pills he hasta take, and then you guys can have some privacy."

"Okay," Tony starts.

Steve immediately swivels into a seated position, as if he had not just been pretending to be asleep to avoid facing Bucky. "Natasha's on her way?"

"Buddy, you deserve what's coming to you," Bucky drawls, leaning back in his seat smugly.

Tony looks between them in confusion. "I thought we liked Natasha."

"She was the one who had to pick Bucky up after I took him out at the knees," Steve says morosely. "I'm so sorry Tony. You'll become a widower before we're even married."

"We're not even engaged," Tony splutters, completely bewildered. "Why is Natasha going to murder you?"

"I landed on my armless side," Bucky tells him, and Steve howls in dismay about being skinned alive and dipped in salt and vinegar like a giant Pringle before he can even fold tony in half like he'd planned all along.

"He can't even tie his own shoes," Natasha mutters, rolling her eyes, as she comes to stand beside Tony. "How the fuck is he going to fold you in half. My god."

Tony wonders why Natasha feels comfortable enough to just walk into his house, then decides he actually doesn't care, because she does not look like she's about to kill Steve and also the bag she's carrying looks large and he's hoping it's not all medicine.

[justanotherfanfic]

Next to Me

summary: a mission goes unexpected so the team tries to live with the consequences but the reader is not able to move on

warnings: suicide attempt, anxiety, panic attacks, depression

pairings: peter parker x reader

word count: 2.6k+

a/n: i finished this at almost 2am and i am distraught after writing this... i’m sorry!

YOU THOUGHT THAT that joining the Avengers would be the best thing that could ever happen to you. Fighting side-by-side with your role models and best friend. You remember being on cloud nine when Tony Stark asked you to join the team. Being able to use your powers and abilities to change the world at your young age made you hopeful. It was everything you ever dreamed of and more. It really turned out to be sensational when you met Peter and began to get close. Eventually, you started catching feelings but you never told anyone. Of course, the team knew about it except for Peter himself. The team started to become your family and it helped you become one of the greatest young superhero SHIELD and The Avengers have seen.

The blissful cloud you were floating on suddenly disappeared. You were falling. It all happened so fast, your dreams and hopes came crashing down after that night. It wasn't supposed to end that way. Tears, screams, and agony. You were traumatized from that mission. You never wanted any of this to happen, you never expected it. Peter Parker, the love of your life. The one you hoped to spend the rest of your life with was gone. The team had not taken a loss before. You never experienced death before.

You remember your scream echoing in the warehouse after the gunshot rang in your ear. Blood. So much blood. Your knees hit the pavement as you pulled him into your arms. You cried into the sky as his limp body was pressed against your chest. The Hydra agent stared down at you. You were supposed to be next. Your tears burned through your eyes as your hands shook harshly. You didn't care about survival. You'd rather die than live a life without Peter. You stared at the man with a glare as his gun was pressed against your forehead. You closed your eyes waiting for death.

It never came.

Tony managed to kill the agent before the trigger was pulled. You were heartbroken. You needed that bullet piercing your skull. The same way it did to Peter. You stared down at Peter's face, looking at his peaceful state. You never got to tell him. You never told him how much he changed your life. How much you loved him as more than a friend. You will never be able to see his smile. You will never be able to hear his jokes, the ones that made your stomach hurt so much you thought you would pass out. You would never see how his eyes brightened up whenever Mr. Stark entered the room. You will never see him again. That night changed you forever.

It's been three months since the incident. Three months since his funeral. Three months since you saw a hysterical Aunt May. You haven't spoken since that night. You refused to. You owed it to Peter. He can't speak anymore, he's dead.

Everyone told you, "Let it go [Y/N]. Don't put the burden on yourself."

"There was nothing you can do."

"That's how life goes, you need to accept it."

"Hold on [Y/N], everything will fall into place eventually."

I'm holding on. Why is everything so heavy? I'm holding on to so much more than I can carry.

You locked yourself in your room in the tower every day since that night. You always contemplated your life, how you failed Peter. You let him die. It was all your fault. Your depression got worse as time went on. You couldn't accept the fact that he was gone. Tony came into your room every day. He hated seeing you this way. He lost Peter, he didn't want to lose you too. Seeing you change dramatically was an emotional struggle for everyone. They knew your depression was getting worse as time past. Unfortunately, they didn't expect you to do what you did that night. Everything changed when Tony walked into your room for his daily visit only to see you standing on the railing of your balcony.

He immediately screamed your name in fear and yanked you from the edge before you were able to make the commitment. His body shook on the balcony floor as he pulled you close into your chest. You and Peter were his kids, whether it was said or not. He was distraught. It was too much pain to handle for someone your age. He blamed himself, you were too young for this much pain.

The team was quick to your room after hearing Tony shout. Their hearts dropped once they understood what had happened. Seeing your emotionless expression as a sobbing Tony was holding you into his chest made their grief grow more.

After that night someone was always with you in your room. Whether it was Tony, Steve, Wanda, Clint, Natasha, Vision, Bucky, or Sam. Someone was always with you. The team took turns at every hour of the day or night. They were terrified of losing you. You never spoke to any of them. They expected it. They only wanted you safe.

It was the time when Steve would watch you when he never showed up. You didn't really think much of it. Thinking he was probably late because he was making you some soup again. It was when Tony's time was starting to get closer when you finally decided to sit up. You walked towards the glass doors of your balcony to see the night view of New York. It was hard to see with the wooden planks boarding up about 80% of the doors to prevent another incident. You were about to go back to bed when you heard faint gunshots down the hallway.

Your heart started racing as your anxiety started picking up. Visions of that night started clouding your mind. You covered your ears as you closed your eyes. Where is Steve? You thought. Whenever you had a panic attack someone was there for you, comforting you as you cried into their chest.

The gunshots started to get closer making you panic even more. You whimpered as you ran to the corner of your room. You fell to the floor as your body faced the door. You tucked your knees up and put more pressure onto your ears, hoping it would silence the noise. You shoved your face into your knees wanting it all to go away.

"Peter no!" You shouted as the gunshot went off. Your screech echoed around the area as you saw his body fall to the ground.

So much blood. I'm drowning in this thick, hot red liquid. I'm gagging on it. It's too much.

A hand shook your body making you cry out in fear. They lifted your face up so they can see you.

"Tony!" You cried as you threw yourself to him. It was the first word you said since the incident. His heart warmed up after hearing your voice. It's been so long.

"Sweetheart we have to leave," Tony spoke as he tried to lift you up. You looked at him confused yet scared. "Hydra is back, they came to get SHIELD files. The team is trying to fight them off right now."

You started feeling your heart pounding again. You closed your eyes and tried to relax just like how Tony taught you.

"[Y/N] we need you." Tony finished.

You looked at him as his hands were still holding your forearms, making sure you wouldn't fall over from your panic attack. Your breathing slowed down as your hands started to glow. You stared into his eyes as you nodded. He gave you a gentle smile and led you out the door and straight into the fight.

The plan was going well. The team all came together to make sure Hydra couldn't get a hold of important SHIELD files. You struggled to keep your mind straight as your mind kept flashing back to that night.

Blood. So much blood.

"[Y/N] I need you to focus," Tony's voice was in your ear comm. "I know this is hard, do it for Peter."

Your lips trembled as your emotions started to overwhelm you. Your mind went to Peter and all the memories you both shared. Movie nights at the tower, making cupcakes for the team, talking late into the night in each other's rooms about your futures and secrets, being each other's shoulders to cry on. It all came flooding your mind causing you to overcome your powers. You felt your eyes glow up as you looked over at the group of Hydra agents charging at you. You yelled in anger as you started taking them down. All the rage that you pushed down had escaped you. You used your powers to knock out the enemies and leave the others crying in fear.

It all changed though. You were the one closest to Wanda. She didn't notice this; she was too distracted. She happened to use her deadliest energy to dispose of the remaining enemies that came near her. The moment the energy left her body you widened your eyes, "Wanda no! I-" You screamed until the impact hit you. The impact was so strong it forced you to fling back and hit the wall behind you. The impact immediately knocked you out, leaving your body limp.

Tony widened his eyes and shouted for you as he blasted more agents away. Bucky was the first to you. He put his finger against your neck and tried finding a pulse.

"She's alive!" Bucky announced in the comms.

Wanda felt her eyes starting to water, "No no no! Someone call Bruce! She needs immediate medical attention."

The team managed to defeat Hydra and was quick to your side in the infirmary. Bruce concluded that you were in a coma but couldn't get out of it, "The energy that Wanda used is suppressing her in the coma, there's no way out,"

Wanda shook her head, "It's all my fault. I only use this side of my energy for my enemies."

Clint put a hand on her shoulder, "You didn't know she was there, it's fine."

"She'll wake up eventually," Steve nodded as he looked over at a distraught Tony. Tony was holding onto your hand as his face was on your arm. Steve knew Tony was blaming himself again.

"That's the thing," Wanda cried out. "She is dying. My powers are tricking her into killing herself, consciously."

Everyone immediately looked at Wanda.

"What?" Tony questioned.

"I-I don't know. I just know that a memory persuades them into death." Wanda closed her eyes as she sobbed. "We need to get her out. We need to get into her mind."

The team stared at one another, pondering what to do. They knew they must bring you back. They had to save you. Whatever it takes.

A bright white light suddenly overwhelmed your vision. You covered your eyes as you tried to slowly adjust yourself to the environment. You were perplexed to find out you weren't at the tower anymore. You were alone, only surrounded by a white hue.

"Hello?" Your voice echoed.

"[N/N]," Your body froze at the voice. It can't be. You turned around only confirm your denial. You felt tears in your eyes as you saw Peter smiling at you, "Peter Parker..."

He smirked at the comment, "Still loving my last name huh?"

You cried as you threw yourself onto him. You hugged him tightly as if it would piece everything back together again, "I love you, Peter Parker."

"I love you [Y/N] [L/N]," He whispered back with a bright smile.

"[Y/N]!" A voice shouted behind you.

You turn, your tears still welling up in your eyes and a slight smile on your face. You were faced with Tony and Wanda. Their eyes were desperate. Your smile dropped at the foreign energy.

"What are you guys doing here?" You questioned as you moved into Peter. Peter's arm wrapped your arm around your shoulders protectively.

"Mr. Stark," Peter spoke. "Please don't take [Y/N] away from me. Not again."

Tony felt a sting in his chest seeing his adoptive son there. It hurt him, even more, knowing this was all a hallucination in your mind. It felt real but it wasn't, Tony knew that but you didn't.

"[Y/N] let's go before they take you away from me," Peter whispered to you as he tried to lead you to a door with a bright light shining out from it. You grabbed his hand and started walking with him, your back facing Tony and Wanda.

"[Y/N] don't go with him!" Wanda shouted.

You felt tears fall down as you turned back at them, "Why not?"

"If you go with him you die," Tony cried out.

"You're taking me away from Peter..." You whispered. You hugged him as tight as you could. You looked back up at them, they stared at you with pain. They knew the pain you were going through, you never got over Peter's death so this was the toughest thing you've ever faced.

"Sweetheart," Tony spoke as he slowly started walking to the both of you. "This isn't real."

You became angry, "Yes it is! Peter is right here! Don't take me from him!"

Tony wiped his tears and cleared his throat, "I need you to focus. Remember what I taught you? Let's count to ten." Tony started counting as you listened.

You shook your head before he got to finish, "No. I need to go with Peter. We'll be together forever."

"[Y/N] you're going to die," Wanda pleaded.

You looked at Wanda then back at Tony. He looked miserable. His hand reached out to you in hopes you'd take it. You stared at it as Peter pulled you closer into his chest. You felt at home. You felt as if you were back on the cloud that you fell from all those months ago. You needed this.

You also knew that everyone needed you. You knew that if you left with Peter then the team would be devastated. You felt selfish. You then realized that Peter would not have wanted any of this pain to happen. He would have wanted everyone to be happy and live their best lives for him. You felt your lips tremble as you looked up at Peter. He was gone, this isn't the real Peter.

You looked back at Tony. Your mentor, no, your dad. You slowly reached over and grabbed his hand. You released yourself from Peter and went into Tony's embrace. He embraced you as you dug your face into his neck. You didn't look back at the fake Peter, you knew you would be heartbroken. You both continued to hold each other as Wanda used her powers to bring you all back into reality.

Your eyes shot open as you sat up quickly. You panted as you looked around the room. Tony and Wanda were unconsciously strapped into wires on a machine. Natasha gasped at you being awake and called everyone over. It wasn't long before Tony and Wanda woke up. Bruce and Clint were by their sides and lead them over to you and the team.

You looked at them all with a smile and tears in your eyes. The love they had for you and each other was overwhelming. It was the good kind. You were thankful for them. You knew that even though Peter wasn't with you all, he will always be a part of you. You all had a group hug and showed each other more about being a family and loving one another. You thanked Peter in your head, you thanked him for helping you gain a family who you love unconditionally.