#btw in his other blog he says there's no point in voting because biden isn't progressive enough

[meret118]

It��s my first time. I suggest reading the post above by star-anise to find out more about it. She expresses things more eloquently than I could.

He says this about me, and asks that the post be reblogged.

meret118 and [redacted to protect their privacy] are also homophobic as they derailed the post mentioned in the paragraph above to talk about slur discourse. Again, my post had nothing to do with slur discourse and derailing my post, where I’m addressing the homophobia in this fandom, is homophobic.

Similar to [redacted to protect their privacy] , meret118 displayed transmisogynistic behaviors by watering down the meaning of TERF to include people who think queer is a slur. Again, I don’t care about the discourse. I’m just laying out the facts. When I called them on this, the only sources they had for why it is TERF rhetoric were tumblr posts written by transmisogyny exempt (TME) people. (Note: I am transmisogyny exempt.) Of those TME people were an anti-anti and a user who has been lesbophobic and antisemitic in the past.

Deplatform these people. It’s as simple as that to be honest. Bigots of any stripe do not deserve to have their voices heard.

If you want to read what actually happened:

https://meret118.tumblr.com/post/628089332573650944/transyusuf-meret118-transyusuf

https://meret118.tumblr.com/post/628094662518964224/transyusuf-has-blocked-me-which-is-absolutely-his

I still don’t understand how being pro-queer and anti-terf makes me homophobic. Nor am I sure what “deplatforming” me means. Not reblogging me? Forcing me out of TOG fandom? Off tumblr entirely?

I’ve been in online fandom longer than he’s been alive. Most of you have known me far before The Old Guard movie came out. If you think I’m a bigot then you should unfollow or block me. I wish you well. I’m not spending another moment on this bully.

The whole post is under the cut in case he decides to change or delete it:

The Old Guard fandom has a problem with homophobia.

I’m just going to be blunt about it because there’s no point in beating around the bush about a serious topic and one that seriously impacts my ability to engage with this fandom in a meaningful way.

I’m also going to be very clear: LGBT people calling out homophobia and transphobia, people of color calling out racism, disabled people calling out ableism, so on and so forth isn’t fandom drama. Also, I think it’s important to curate your fandom experience but when your curating includes blocking and silencing people who are speaking out about real problems, you’re being a bigot.

But, I’m a trans gay man and in my short time in this fandom I’ve seen a lot of “progressive” homophobia (and transphobia) go on unchecked to the point where… I don’t feel comfortable in this fandom. Especially not when the people spouting these “progressive” homophobic takes are given a platform/

Fandom is supposed to be enjoyable, I get that, but for me it’s not enjoyable because every time I turn around I see “progressive” homophobia and transphobia, or I’m calling out that “progressive” homophobia and transphobia.

Don’t get me wrong, I block these people but honestly, blocking is a joke when they still come across my dash because people still platform them despite them being publicly bigoted… but in acceptable ways.

Before we get into it, I want to make it clear that reblogging this is okay. I want you to reblog it, which is why I spent so much time writing this, and liking this post doesn’t… do anything so please, reblog this.

I’m tired of seeing homophobia in this fandom.

I’ll get into the specific issues but first I want to “call out” specific users in this fandom who have a platform despite the homophobic behaviors they’ve openly exhibited. I’m not doing this because I want them to be sent hate, I don’t think you should do that. I’m doing this in the hopes that… people, especially my mutuals, will stop platforming them.

Stop giving these homophobic people a voice and making the LGBT people, especially gay/bi men, in this fandom feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

star-anise (fandom side blog: with-my-murder-flute) has publicly stated cishet men do not benefit from privilege more than cis gay men when they do. Cis gay men might be cis but they’re still gay and they still are oppressed under homophobia and as such, cishet men are more privileged and arguing against that is just being homophobic.

While this isn’t the point of this essay, they’re also an anti-anti or the fact that, when I thought about following them, one of the first few posts on their blog was them reblogging another person saying that cishet men and cishet women who do drag are queer. There’s a lot to unpack there.

sixth-light is transmisogynistic and homophobic. They derailed my post to talk about slur discourse when the point of my post… was for people, especially cishets, to stop being homophobic and had absolutely nothing to do with slur discourse. But in talking about slur discourse they were transmisogynistic because they water downed the meaning of TERF to include people who think queer is a slur. I do not care about that discourse but it is transmisogynistic to warp the definition of TERF to mean whatever the fuck you want it to mean.

I don’t know if these users have a platform but oh well, I’m going to include them: meret118 and vashti-lives are also homophobic as they derailed the post mentioned in the paragraph above to talk about slur discourse. Again, my post had nothing to do with slur discourse and derailing my post, where I’m addressing the homophobia in this fandom, is homophobic.

Similar to sixth-light, meret118 displayed transmisogynistic behaviors by watering down the meaning of TERF to include people who think queer is a slur. Again, I don’t care about the discourse. I’m just laying out the facts. When I called them on this, the only sources they had for why it is TERF rhetoric were tumblr posts written by transmisogyny exempt (TME) people. (Note: I am transmisogyny exempt.) Of those TME people were an anti-anti and a user who has been lesbophobic and antisemitic in the past.

Deplatform these people. It’s as simple as that to be honest. Bigots of any stripe do not deserve to have their voices heard.

Anyway… moving onto the homophobic behaviors I’ve seen in this fandom.

I’ve seen the short-lived twink Nicky discourse get… kind of homophobic with the definition of twink. What is a twink? The definition varies depending on who you ask but the definition I like and the one I use is: “a twink as a man with a smooth, youthful, only slightly-muscular, physique.”

In my opinion, I don’t think Nicky is a twink but the reasons I’ve seen people list for why he’s not a twink are… dumb, inaccurate, and at times homophobic. At the core of the twink, bear, otter definitions, they all rely on body type and body hair amount more than age or assumed age from what I’ve seen based on my interactions with other gay/bi men.

That being said, not every gay/bi man calls himself a twink, bear, or otter even if he fits the definition because… it’s kind of a personal identifier, I guess, but also lately I think calling yourself a twink or bear can be uncomfortable because of the way people have warped the definitions.

Personally, I’d call myself a twink because I fit the definition but at the same time, I… do not feel comfortable calling myself a twink because a lot of people have warped the definition to mean something it’s not. (And, according to fandom definitions of “twink”, I’m not a twink when… I literally am.)

Twink isn’t synonymous with small, short, delicate, or any other descriptors such as that nor does it mean a man who looks like a teenager/child. It is literally a word to describe body type and how hairy a man is.

While twinks are also associated with youthfulness/looking young that doesn’t translate to “looks like a teenager/child” and I feel saying that implies really gross, homophobic and pedophilic things about the men who are attracted to twinks. Twinks are also associated with femininity but that doesn’t mean there aren’t masculine twinks or there can’t be masculine twinks.

Also, there absolutely is an issue with predators in the gay/bi male community, along with every other community, but twinks aren’t part of that. A man isn’t inherently predatory or pedophilic because he’s attracted to twinks.

Stepping away from twinks… let’s talk about bears.

Bears are fat and hairy. A bear is generally over thirty years old and they’re quite literally defined by their hair, which they have a lot of, and being fat. (A man who has a bear build but is under thirty is called a “cub” but… I don’t think anyone’s going to yell at a man under thirty for calling himself a bear.)

Yusuf al-Kaysani is not a bear.

Please, stop calling him a bear and also just stop using words you don’t know the definition of. I’m literally begging y’all because if I have to see another person define twink in a homophobic or just plain inaccurate way I will lose my mind (but let’s be honest- I kind of already have which is why I’m writing this).

If you must apply gay/bi male subculture terminology to Yusuf and Nicky’s body types, just call them otters. But also… I’m not so sure Nicky or Yusuf would use subculture terminology, even ignoring the fact that I’m pretty sure these terms came about within the last fifty or so years.

What is an otter? The middle ground between a bear and a twink. Definitions vary but a definition I like is this: “otters can encompass a variety of body types and hairy-ness, but generally otters are lean with more body hair than a twink but less than a bear.”

Moving on from twink/bear discourse, let’s talk about Nicky and Yusuf’s sexuality. If Nicky and Yusuf are bisexual men, they’re not bisexual because “they’ve lived long enough they don’t care” or anything that implies sexuality is a choice or that someone can’t be happy with “only” one gender (and, by extension, one partner) for centuries.

That is homophobic. If Nicky and Yusuf are bisexual men, they’ve always been bisexual. They didn’t decide to be bisexual after a couple centuries because they got “bored” of homosexuality or being attracted to one gender, they didn’t suddenly decide they were attracted to women, etc.

Also implying, or outright stating, someone cannot be happy with “only” one partner for centuries is iffy on its own but especially within the context of Yusuf/Nicky it’s weird, because do you think they’ll get bored of each other at some point? Or, do you think that’s different?

Another issue I’ve noticed, related to their age, is people talking about their sex life. I’ve talked to a friend who told me people think that Nicky and Yusuf have wild, destructive sex due to their immortality. I don’t have a well thought out response to this, but I do ask that… if that’s you then please further examine why you think that’s what their sex life looks like? I can’t comment on the potential racialized aspect of this, but it definitely feels a little homophobic to me.

When it comes to sex, LGBT couples are often written to have more wild, unsafe, dangerous, etc sex compared to cishet couples and it’s weird, it’s homophobic, please think. That’s all I’m asking- just think about why you see these characters have the sex life they do and the sexual positions that they do.

Speaking of sexual positions…

Let’s briefly talk about top/bottom positions and dom/sub dynamics.

I know, I don’t want to talk about it either but y’all have forced my hands so… here I am talking about a subject no one wants me to talk about.

But top/bottom and dom/sub are not interchangeable. You can’t say dom when you mean top and you can’t say sub when you mean bottom because they’re separate terms that mean different things.

I hate top/bottom discourse. I genuinely do because top/bottom discourse and associating those positions with certain characteristics has put me, a real life gay man, in uncomfortable situations because people have used my interests, how I present myself (irl and online), my height/my body type to “determine” my sexual preferences and it’s weird.

Height, body type, interests, clothing, speech, being a twink or bear or otter, or whatever else you can think of has nothing to do with sexual preferences. None of that influences whether a character is a top or bottom or verse.

Top/bottom has to do with whether you are on the receiving end of penetrative sex (bottom) or you’re the one on the giving end of penetrative sex (top). Dom/sub has to do with power dynamics within sex and these dynamics can be applied to cishet couples as well as LGBT couples, though I see these dynamics applied… way more to LGBT couples than cishet couples in fandom.

You can be a dom bottom, sub bottom, dom top, sub top. You can be a twink top, twink bottom, bear top, bear bottom. Or you can just be a top/bottom without power dynamics attached because sex, especially gay sex, doesn’t have to come with dom/sub dynamics involved. I think the fact that a lot of people, especially a lot of cishet people, do try to attach dom/sub dynamics to LGBT couples is… suspicious.

To wrap this up, here’s a really informative post on the fetishization of mlm in fiction (not just fanfiction/fandom) that I encourage everyone to read, especially if you’re not a mlm. About a month ago, I also wrote this post on transphobia in fandom spaces that I encourage people to read (and reblog) if they haven’t already.

Additionally, I currently have commissions open for anyone looking for a sensitivity reader. More information can be found here.

If you found this post informative, please consider donating to my cashapp which is $noahsokolowski or my ko-fi!

Been called out again. Fun times.