#btw i love reading/writing about them when they were young. They're home situation is such an interesting thing to analyse

[tarastabz]

-it's not your fault

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It was a normal day for 13 years old Tara, her mother was not at home as usual, and Sam was somewhere else, avoiding her just like the past 5 years.

Living in an almost always empty house was making her feel more lonely than she ever felt. But at least sometimes the house feels alive. The problem is that it only feels that way when her mother and sam are home, and apparently, they can't spend two seconds together without fighting and throwing things around.

Oh, how she misses those nights where her and sam used to spend the entire day together locked in either her or her sister's room, talking about whatever came to their minds.

But now?

Now Sam has disappeared from Tara's life, after that night when their father left, Sam stopped talking to her, and every time she tried to get closer and get her sister back, Sam pushed her away like Tara didn't mean anything to her.

And maybe it's true, she was not as important for sam as she was for her

And that's how Tara learned that this person isn't Sammy anymore. Her Sammy is gone, she went away with her father that night.

What didn't feel really normal today for Tara was her sister's behaviour when she woke up.

She was talking to her, and even asking about school, friends... it made Tara almost burst into tears right in front of her because she sounded so much like the Sammy she once knew.

And that's why Tara was hopeful again. Maybe things were starting to change for the better.

When Tara came back home, she was hoping to find Sam there, maybe she changed her mind and she likes me again now, but no, no Sam in sight. Maybe this morning, Sam was just feeling pity for her.

And now she's here on her bed staring at the ceiling, dreaming of a different life where her mother and her sister don't make her feel like a reject.

Tara's daydreaming is interrupted by a knock on the door. It must be her mother, at least she doesn't completely ignore her existence like Sam. She opened the door only to find out that she was wrong.

It's Sam, standing there, right outside of her room. "Hey"

"Uhm hey?" Tara for a moment, thought she was still in her head living the life she imagined for herself. "What's up?"

"I was thinking that maybe- we could watch a movie together" Sam looked nervous, which is something that took Tara by surprise.

You want to watch a movie? Sam only nodded at that. "With me?" Tara needed to be sure that her mind wasn't playing with her.

"Yeah, i thought i made that clear... i can also make us popcorn" noticing Tara's lack of response, Sam took it negatively and immediately added,"You don't have, if you don't want-"

"I WANT TO"

And that's how Tara finds herself living that life she was craving. She was on the couch with Sam right by her side, she doesn't really know what the movie is about because, for the most part, she's been looking at Sam making sure that she wasn't just figment of her imagination.

It feels so good. She feels happy with her sister by her side.

"This movie sucks please don't ever let me pick something to watch again" Tara is brought back to reality by her sister's voice. "Yeah, alright, i won't"

Again.

Does this mean there's gonna be another time? Maybe she was dreaming so hard of that perfect life that it turned into reality.

"Oh hey- It's midnight, you should head to bed, you have school tomorrow" midnight? Oh.

If it's midnight, it means it's already Sam's birthday. Her 18th birthday.

"Wait, don't leave! I have something for you just- just wait here, okay?" Tara ran back to her room to take the small present she had carefully wrapped a few days before. She even used sam's favourite colour.

She went back to her sister and let out sight of relief seeing Sam still standing in the living room, waiting for her. "Here, Happy birthday Sammy".

Sam took the present but she didn't open it, she just kept staring at it. "I'll open it tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, it's fine" Tara then nervously added "we could- if you don't have plans- we could do something together"

What Sam did next was more than unexpected, Tara felt two stromg arms pulling her into a hug. Was that a yes? Was that her way of kindly saying she didn't want to spend a second more with her?

"Tara, i need you to promise me that whatever happens, you will always remain the kind, sweet and caring girl you are now" Tara saw a few tears pricking Sam's eyes. "I promise Sammy" she said, holding onto her tighter.

Tara went to sleep for the first time in a while with a smile on her face, she was finally getting her Sammy back.

Her family is still not exactly how she wanted it to be. He father was not back, her mother was still not caring about her like she used to

But her Sam is coming back.

And as long as she's here, Tara will be fine.

The next morning, Tara woke up excited to spend more time with Sam and celebrate her birthday. She immediately noticed how quiet the house was. Usually, in the morning, it's filled with her mother and Sister's screams.

While Tara was getting ready, she saw something.

Attached to her door, Tara found a note.

It's not your fault, Tara - Your Sammy

Sam left her. Her room was completely empty. She left in the middle of the night and this time she was not coming back.

Yesterday was a lie.

Sammy is dead.