#btw i know i used general term 'mangas' but i'm mostly talking abt BL here

[herotheshiro]

ok i was really hoping there was going to be a post on tumblr i could reblog bc i didn’t want to make an original post abt this manga but i read everyday is a good day by nishi noeko this morning and it’s cute! quick summary is that it’s abt a guy who takes care of his deceased sister’s kid, and despite the romance plot existing the manga was actually very much focused on taking care of the kid. they never explicitly defined the age gap bw the main 2 (toki (main) was in college, implied underclassman, while chihiro (love interest) was 15. so prob abt 3-5 yr age diff) but honestly kind of overlooked it bc appi (the kid) was SO CUTE and the mini family of sorts that toki, chihiro, and appi form in the end was so sweet. i think the entire story was handled very realistically so while i wasn’t necessarily BLOWN AWAY by the story, it was a pretty good read.

anyway sorry to focus on the main pairing’s age gap bc it’s really only partially a part of the story (”man he was only 15 when i first met him and now he’s grown. time has really passed huh...”) but i realized recently that the reason i have such an issue with age gaps in stories sometimes and other times not is bc i tend to bristle at age gaps (i’m using the definition of a 4-10 year difference since i think that’s the most common range. 1-3 years i usually never have an issue with and past 10 is like ... sorry no idk abt that chief) where one of the parties is like not really “matured”. like stories about teacher-student, mentor-young mentee (like example 35yo x 22yo, newly entering workforce) coworkers, older person-young, impressionable person who kind of has issues to work out... like they just make me feel uncomfortable to some degree. it’s one thing when it’s 2 adults who have gone about their lives, are comfortable with themselves for the most part, and have their own separate support networks and they meet and get together, but when one’s development is kind of not complete (this includes cases where the junior is “mature for their age”. stfu they’re still developing themselves) or dependent on the other (teacher-student, mentor-mentee)... idk it just makes me feel squicky for lack of a better word lol. i mean i know there are ppl out there who are into those kinds of dynamics, someone taking advantage of their senior position or a junior somehow seducing their teaching senior, but it just doesn’t feel right to me to read even if it’s a fictional story. even if the story isn’t written in a way that’s supposed to be the senior taking advantage of the junior’s issues or vice versa, i just feel that the younger person really needs to live life separate from wooing an older person before they get into a relationship. that’s why the established adult-established adult age gap pairings work with me sometimes because both parties have had a chance to develop and figure out by themselves what makes them tick; someone recently entering the workforce can be competent but they also just entered the workforce. tonari ni by basso is a very good example in my opinion of an age gap that falls under my definition of what an age gap pairing should be.

i just realized i completely missed the dynamic of older boss-established adult subordinate. that’s why i said i’m ok with age gap SOMETIMES, bc it also depends on the social dynamic being presented. if it’s 2 adults in different jobs or departments then alright depends on how their story is written, but if it’s 2 adults in the same department and one of them is under the other ... that still brings up the uncomfortable power dynamic for me even if the subordinate is established. i think i’ve read a couple of mangas where the boss and subordinate were around the same age but then yeah that takes out the whole age gap issue then. anyway this case isn’t what i’m specifically talking about when i say i have issues with age gap, so my thoughts here are less developed/concrete.

anyway i didn’t mean to turn this review into a discussion abt age gaps. tl;dr the BL that i originally wrote this post about is pretty good although i would have preferred to just reblog something since it wasn’t particularly noteworthy for me.