#btw hurt myself in the process of making this art

[cookkoo]

CW: Blood

Drawtober 2023 day 27: Beast

Let's go wild!

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[astranauticus]

(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)

you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to

[tofupixel]

Hi! I really like your art, and it inspired me to get into pixel art myself. I know you already posted about how to start making pixel art, and that tutorial was very helpful, but do you have any advice? I see all your art and I can’t help but wonder the process.

hello, first of all thats very cool and sweet, i hope u will continue and thank you for telling me

as for the question hmmmmmmm

its very hard to answer because i don't know where you are at in your journey or what your goals are but

i just finished a piece for artfight and made a timelapse gif which may help you understand my process if you are interested in that (even tho its a more simple piece) (sorry for flipping canvas sm)

this is the character btw. some things that i think are important:

getting stuff on the canvas even if it looks shit (my sketch phase is FUGLY) but its digital art so we can just make it look better and move stuff around. its literally not a big deal

flip a LOT (flipping lets u see ur mistakes easier) (it might hurt your soul at first but eventually you get used to it) (reaching full artistic ego death is the end goal)

i dont have a strong minds eye so i cant visualize my piece very well so i just try things, you will notice i try different poses and expressions

what i rly care about is mood and conveying some emotion and i'll try lots of things until i get what i want. once its on the canvas i can evaluate how that works for me. if it looks bad JUST CHANGE IT !!!! 😤👍

GET LOTS OF REFERENCES !! when i got just 1 ref i ended up copying it too closely, but you can get a bunch and combine them together. that log in the foreground i stole that from princess mononoke. take elements from stuff nobody will miss it

for beginner advice i think, just draw a LOT and try not to get sucked into the details for too long. u can learn a lot by just doing a ton of throwaway stuff. rendering is important for sure but it can TAKE A LONG TIME so just be aware of what youre spending your time doing

and PLEASE look at other pixel artists who are really good. take their art into your program and look at it and study it, see what they are doing. its not cheating we have all done it.

look on pixeljoint for pros!!

[another-goblin]

How Aventurine would process their relationship. Just some fun options to explore. I do ship them, but it will work with them being just friends. (I wrote "just friends" and realized that it would probably be the first time for both of them to have an actual friend, so there is no "just" here.)

1. I can see him possessing enough emotional intelligence to realize what's going on and allow himself to accept Ratio's care and reciprocate his feelings. It's quite a nice and comforting option to explore. It can happen immediately after 2.1 or slowly, with them continuing to work together or hanging out from time to time. It's nice to see that like 95% of all the post-2.1 arts of them are examples of this (it doesn't mean that I don't love the remaining 5% btw).

He might also see it as a giant gamble. ("For the first time in my adult life I allow myself to be so emotionally vulnerable, opening myself to get really hurt, but the risk is worth it.")

2. He said something about only seeing friends as tools. I think he often uses his charm and wits to win people over, to make them act in his interests, to make them think that they actually like him. As a kind of subconscious self-defense mechanism, he would convince himself that Ratio only acts this way according to his own cunning manipulations and should be discarded after he'd outlived his usefulness. (cue angst)

3. Psychological problems. There is a whole sad collection to choose from, all deep-seated and subconcious. Mistaking Ratio's care for pity and getting offended by it. Feeling like he's not worthy of love. "I suffered alone my whole life, where have you been all this time, now it's too late, I don't need you anymore". And countless others. There's no way he's ever going to therapy, so they'll have to sort it out by themselves.

4. The most delicious option (and by that I mean SUFFERING *looks at two previous options* that is, MORE SUFFERING). A big part of his survivor's guilt is the supersticious idea that he owes his luck to his family's death. The only people he ever cared about and who ever cared about him died because of it. Being close to somebody means danger to them.

He knows that Ratio wouldn't accept his superstition based concerns. So the only way to save him is to hurt him emotionally to drive him away. 

But. What if Aventurine overcomes it and discards all these supersticious concerns (as he should). They get closer. And then Ratio does get hurt. It's serious, like, he's in the hospital, he lost an arm, something like that.

Imagine Aventurine's panic: "I brought it on him, I couldn't protect him, the only way to save him from worse is to leave him forever, immediately." And Ratio, recovering from a devastating injury, the first time in his life when he needs (and expects) support - he's abandoned.

It would probably crush his underlying philosophy of doing big good things for humanity (the way he cured that terrible disease, resolved the universal energy crisis, and is currently spreading education because he thinks that humanity is worthy of it). I mean, it's easy to care about humanity from afar, detached from it. It's much harder when your first attempt at a personal relationship ends in devatating pain.

[snailythefan]

Hi Snaily! How have you been? Im here for a pretty serious ask.

My boyfriend has been drawing for a while, I honestly think he's doing real good. But recently he's been feeling down about his art, he doesn't know why he should bother improving his art if his style is *basic* to some people, and it hurts a lot for him. He knows he should be drawing for fun and not force improvement to stress him out, but there's only so much I can do as his loving partner who doesn't draw at all.

So... what was it like for you, Snaily? When you started drawing many years back, how did you not feel like shit looking at how it could be better but you don't know how? What advice can you give to a beginner artist?

(You can answer this privately if you want btw, and ask me for his art if you need to see them. Much love <3)

hi peng!! always nice to hear from u! I'm gonna reply to this publicly because to be honest i can't resist to give this kind of advice to any and all beginner artists (but i am putting it under a readmore because as you know i love to ramble and this will get LOOONNNGGG and will Truly be The Ramblings of a Mad Man (gender neutral))

firstly, since I hear that he feels hurt by the idea that people out there might find his style "basic". That's a rookie mistake (that literally everyone makes when they start getting Serious about Art). The mistake being Caring Profoundly About an Outside Audience that's Ever Watching and Judging.

Which I literally cannot blame him or anyone for it, ESPECIALLY in this modern social media landscape where newer artists feel like they gotta get GOOD at the VIRAL RAT RACE so you gotta get that sweet, sweet validation in the form of likes, reblogs, retweets etc etc.

So that's my first tip I suppose: don't fall for the entrapment of being obsessed with getting any and all sorts of SWEET VALIDATION during your art process. This is hard to condition yourself to! I myself fall prone to it! It's actually kind of natural. Even if the validation you seek isn't online, surely you're expecting it from your peers or teachers or family members or whoever gets to look at your sketchbook (or you know, your medium of choice).

You want people to notice your art and all the effort you put into it. It's okay! DO welcome those who do!! But never NEVERRRRRR NEVERRRRRR commit the mistake of placing the value of your art on how much praise it gets from others. That's a one trip road on having an Absolute Bad Time. THE ONLY PERSON you should be looking to make happy with your art is YOURSELF first and foremost!!! Always!!! This is the Golden Rule!!!

So people (imagined or otherwise) think his style is """Basic""". Okay! That's literally not a crime anyone can arrest you for!! So what if you're LITERALLY starting and your art looks """basic"""!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE CRIME HERE!!!! CAN'T MY MAN JUST CREATE IN PEACE!!!! LET HIM COOK!!!!!

If he's starting out, i think it's pretty expected of him to just have a "basic" style you know? He shouldn't be ashamed of it! The best chef in the entire world right now didn't start making The Most Delicious Food To Ever Grace Anyone's Plate on DAY 1. They probably started with a goshdang sandwich. Many of them maybe. Until they could make the Perfect Sandwich even in their Sleep and only until then they felt ready enough to explore Further Possibilities In The Kitchen.

(Is this metaphor working? I sure hope it is!)

Anyway.

"How did you not feel like shit looking at how it could be better but you don't know how?"

Well that's a fun question because to this day I get extremely frustrated whenever I realize my Art Level isn't up to my standards. But THAT'S OKAY- even in my case!

If you're Serious About Art (as in, you LOVE making art) you'll constantly feel like you're having to catch up to artists that are doing MILES better than you. Which happens to everyone. Truly it's only the curse of having A Good Taste In Art (so you automatically Set Standards For Yourself based on what you personally consider Great Art).

So again, something to not be ashamed of. But also something to Learn To Live with. I get it!! I truly do!! You see some guy online who apparently is only 14 and they're already making compositions with complex perspectives and an amazing sense of color theory and you'll want to bite off your hands!!!! But you can't let that stop you!!

You're just gonna have to learn to Fail, Constantly. Failing Gracefully! Sucking At Art Again and Again!

You might think this conflicts with the Golden Rule (i mean, if you're not happy with your own art- then what's the point yeah?)

But it's all about Love babey. Loving the process of failing constantly, because deep down you REALIZE you're learning how not to suck little by little.

It's also an exercise in letting Spite guide you. So what if you're bad!!!!!! What if you've somehow committed the crime of being A Bad Artist!!!!!! The cops will never catch me fucker!!!!! SEE HOW I DESECRATE THE HOLY ACT OF "CREATING GOOD ART" AHAHAHAHA!!!! LITERALLY NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!!! <- the attitude to Have. Yes you gotta be prepared to be Unhinged and to have active Disdain towards 4th Plane Entities that are probably judging your art quality. (Unless my experiences aren't universal and nobody else feels a salacious self-satisfaction whenever they draw something that looks like an affront to The Universe, knowing they can just Try Again).

Anyway those are the benefits of sprinkling a little Spite alongside all the Love for the process of Making Art.

At the start you might feel like you're only making bad art. So! Own it! unironically my life philosophy is that everyone should make more BAD ART!!! ARTISTS OF THE WORLD UNITE TO MAKE MORE BAD ART, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR CHAINS!

that's for the mental approach at least.

So, what about the technical side? How do you actually take all those feelings of inadequacy and wrangle them into something productive that will help YOU get better at the art you want to make?

with the warning that i am a self taught artist so i might not the the perfect person to ask, but truly the most IMPORTANT skill you want to hone is OBSERVATION and COPYING WHAT YOU OBSERVE.

Basically you're gonna study the artists you like! You're gonna stare REAL HARD at the details in the art they make! And THEN. You're gonna try to copy THAT! Hell, you might even want to TRACE what they do at first** (**THIS ADVICE IS FOR PRACTICING. DO NOT TRACE AND THEN POST ONLINE FOR OTHERS TO GO "hey man wtf this is just you tracing X Artist" DO NOT!!! DO THAT!!!) just so you get a feel for what they have in their art that You Don't and learning how to slowly replicate that.

That's how I learned the ropes at least. Literally printing manga panels and then tracing over them during my Peak Weeb Years. Ah little snaily, how time flies. Another thing i liked to do was watch speedpaints of artists i liked but at like -2x speed. So it was a slowpaint and i could STEAL THEIR SECRETS <- another valuable art skill

Anyway, that's what I think it's the most important (to observe!)

...but also you might want to either take art classes OR watch a buuuuunch of tutorials on youtube for The Basics (basic anatomy! shading! values! color theory! perspective! gesture drawing!!!)

You feel like shit about your art? Fine! Then realize your life is your own and you have the absolute power to change that directly!! GO ON YOUTUBE AND LEARN THOSE BASICS!!!!!! don't be like me and struggle this much with perspective after years of making art!!!! (Though in all fairness, even those good at it struggle with it lol)

So! I am all out of advice for a newer artist.

TL,DR: YOU WILL SUCK A LOT AT FIRST BUT THE MORE YOU PRACTICE AND LEARN ABOUT YOUR FAILURES, THE MORE YOU'LL LOVE TO SEE YOUR IMPROVEMENT AND EVENTUALLY YOU'LL BE ABLE TO DO THE ART YOU WANT TO MAKE.

Peng if you could forward this to your bf i would be very grateful. Good luck to you two!!! Thank you for reaching out!! And remember!! Never give up!!!!!

[beebundt]

fwiw that rude commenter is a transphobe, a post a few down on their blog is real blatant (and in that vein I think their comment was less a judgement of your anatomy and more saying Charlie is 'too' muscular/angular)

It's rude and out of pocket REGARDLESS but I also think you're a little hard on yourself! You even said, you hadn't illustrated exactly what you were after with her, and you hadn't intended for a collection of doodles you happened to still like to blow up. You're entirely right that we should all be drawing more than conventionally attractive people, but idk. It's a process and you're a great artist who's working toward it! Don't feel like you have to answer this btw I mostly wanted to let you know that commenter was a double idiot and started rambling. Hope you have a lovely day!!

oh absolutely! i have a feeling you're right abt what they meant considering i saw the transphobic comment they made a couple posts down on their blog lmao but i wanted to add that part anyway. and i appreciate your words a ton, but dw im not hurt or upset! i get a lot of weird comments all the time, i just wanted to use that one as a platform to bounce off of a thought ive been having lately. i wouldn't post a negative remark like that unless i wanted to use it for something. the actual comment was mostly irrelevant to the point i wanted to make, which is also not meant to be super serious, just a thought soup to stir around

and i mean my interpretation of my art as purely objective, i think its important to think critically about yourself and in general. from an objective standpoint, i dont believe the way shes drawn is too out of the norm and is fairly tame (disregarding her ox/bull parts lol), thats basically what i was aiming for with that section. i constantly get stuck in a rut without improving by much because im usually just drawing to doodle after a school day and not rlly with any purpose. i tend to keep drawing the same things out of habit and it gets stale really quickly. so i know my faults and im rlly looking forward to getting better!

also rq, what you said about how we need to draw more than conventionally attractive people- while i do agree with that, in my post i was more saying its important for people to be more open-minded about how they view gender expression and attractiveness in general, myself included! i dont think how i drew charlie was very revolutionary, but ive seen so many tags speaking otherwise. which is either reflective of how small the bubble is for whats acceptable or maybe i have a skewed perception of things? for example if having a bush or something is gender envy we need to look at ourselves. bush is so normal to me. (which i dont if thats what even drew ppl to it BUT. just as an example). would those same people say the same if i drew a very fat woman with a beard, unibrow, etc.? i have no idea. but i have had my eyes opened so many times before its incredible. little things ive never thought about before through new perspective. so thats why i want to encourage it too. i hope that makes sense. thank you so much i hope you have an equally lovely day!! 🫶🫶

[rodolfoparras]

I've been away for day or two because I got my tooth pulled out and I was so out of it 😭😭 smh it still hurts a bit.

Little update, did you know there is a thing called mandibular anaesthesia?? Because I didn't until my dentist gave it to me 😭 and then also local anaesthesia as well because I have strong teeth and high tolerance and I could still feel him taking my tooth out. I have a few I need to get out and then fix the rest and I'm already exhausted??

We love getting pocket money for holidays who care about the age 😌 and I sleep with blanket between my legs but I would love to get like a body pillow because supposedly it really helps you to sleep better (also because I have few pillowcases I've been eyeing). And speaking of spending money, Dragon Age games are on sale 90% on Steam and my paycheck (part of it anyways) is on first but I might dip into my emergency stash and just replace it later on because I love DA and this is such a steal

Btw I love that little thing you made! My bestie works with clay and she makes jewelry! I tried few times too and it is fun but I have trauma from art school from working with clay 😭 I don't really like it as a medium

Also, I loveeeee dom!top x sub!top sm and I'm such a sucker for the trope of them bringing someone home and dom guiding his sub on how fuck their bottom- dom just praising his sub and guiding his hips, squeezing the back of his neck reassuringly and kissing him....

See I just made myself both sad and horny, I need a boyfriend :(( there are so many guys who love tall and strong hairy men online but not in my vicinity 😔

-🔮

Oh lord sugar bee I hope everything is going well with the healing process and that isn’t too much of a hindrance at work!😭

What the hell is there a reason as to why you have such strong endurance sugar bee?😭 lowkey have a bit of fear when it comes to anesthesia just because so many people have mentioned how it doesn’t affect them as much some have even been awake during surgery or woken up in the middle of it because of this 😭

Oh definitely get yourself a body pillow!!!! I’ve heard it has plenty of benefits even for those who struggle with anxiety!! Also I hope you got the game and that you’re enjoying it!! I’ve never heard of it before but the name makes it sound very promising!!

Hello!! Can I like borrow your friend because this media is hell😭 it’s so moldable which makes it an amazing medium to work with but it being so moldable also makes it a living hell!! Like I was looking at finished clay products and I’m so impressed how people manage to get such smooth looking pieces ? Especially when it’s a detailed piece portraying something 😭 and thank you sm!! I changed the entire piece though and made a whole other thing I’ll show yall as soon as it’s painted 🫶🏻

HELLO WHY WOULD YOU SAY TBIS TO ME I AM SCREAMINF need price to do this with me I mean who said that:/ old man price teaching me how to fuck soap or gaz gently scolding me when I lose my steady pace or praising me when I leave soap or gaz wailing beneath me🧎🏻‍♂️

[artblock-tm]

I unfortunately lack the time right now to go through the list, so use this as an excuse to answer any of the OC questions you want. If none in particular, answer every single one.

(cracks knuckles) Here we go :)

This is the OC ask list, by the way!

I’m gonna answer them all so…. Be prepared.

And, Doll and Grace, if you’re reading this since you got pinged, hi. Forgive me, there’s a lot of text under this cut.

Doll, you were mentioned because I discussed shipping OCs.

Grace, you were mentioned because I wanted to share your Sketch design with the world.

Love ya. Sorry. Let’s get on with it.

Your Oldest OC:

That title would probably have to go to Rynne! I’ve had her for several years now, and she originated as a cringe sona-but-not-it’s-like-me-but-a-sadist-with-a-scythe sorta characters. Gosh, she’s so old, I have no relevant art to show of her!

Your Newest OC:

It’s been a while since I’ve developed a truly new OC…so it’d have to be Drisco and Castarian. They debuted in the mind at the same day, but Castarian made an appearance later so technically he’s the newest!

Favorite OC:

I don’t have an overall favorite… but I do pick and choose favorites from each story I have. A couple of my favorites include Maroon, Jay, Switch, Dislan, and Rynne.

Any Villain OCs?

Go read Masked.

Plenty! Outlander, of course, but we can’t forget Dhá-Aghaidh, Jynx, or Dr. Kruger, now can we?

Main Reason For Making OCs:

Mostly for story reasons that spawn. However, I do have fandom OCs, (and some of them happen to be the most well-known!) but I will inevitably end up working them into a story. OCs spawning from roleplay is a rare sight, and it’s only happened once… believe it or not, that’s how Karmin came into existence!

Describe Your Character Creation Process:

Step 1: Concept for a silly guy comes into my brain.

Step 2: Come up with a basic design for them to be changed later.

Step 3: Inflict soul-crushing pain.

Step 4: Have so much fun inflicting pain that I have to remind myself that it’s supposed to be a story. Suffer without coming up with actual story elements.

Step 5: Receive divine inspiration and everything comes together and I’m so fucking back baby.

Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until done.

Fav OC Ship:

Castarian and Drisco. They’re not a couple, but they have feelings for each other. They each blame each other for their deaths and refuse to see the other’s way. They separated themselves and feel the crushing loneliness l, but when they’re together they can’t stop arguing.

Drisco wants nothing more than to HURT Castarian, but only HE can hurt him, no one else, since he is the only person Castarian has wronged.

Castarian hates Drisco’s facades, violence, and methods, but those are what helped him in life. Drisco holds the power to make Castarian feel good about himself… and he’s dependent on that.

Do You Ship Your OCs With Someone Else’s OCs:

For everyone else who doesn’t know, my OC Jaide gets to be in a doomed yuri with Sky (the asker’s OC!! Hi Marci <3)

But I do have quite a few characters shipped with those belonging to @corrupted-tale. Like my OC Dislan and her OC Pix. And my Narrator with her Lady Luck.

Weirdest OC:

I’d have to say Bi Solomon earns that title. He’s a fascist furry who reinvented capitalism in a post-apocalyptic world. (And by furry I do mean he’s a Creature btw).

Favorite OC Design:

I REFUSE to let that achievement go to Drisco so Night! ILY Night!!!! You’re so cool and gender and badass!!

Not the greatest picture of it, since it actually has 4 arms and a cool-ass sickle… but oh well.

Would You Consider Yourself Nice To Your OCs:

Go read Masked.

Haha, not at all. They all suffer underneath my thumb, no matter how beloved they are :)

An OC You’ve Killed:

The easy answer are OCs like Jaide, Levi, Drisco, and Castarian, since they’re ghosts and that’s their whole gimmick.

It’s actually rare for me to kill off OCs and leave them forever, since I feel like they die before their potential is fulfilled. But the previously mentioned fascist furry Solomon dies (good riddance), and I have a pantheon of gods that get slaughtered in a different story!

Are Any Of Your OCs Parents:

Go Read Ma

Besides Jaide, I do have some others! I have a royal family group of OCs, with King Leonard and Queen Beatrice being parents to a chaotic group of kids.

Dr. Kruger, while not physically being a dad, is burdened with being a single father as punishment for being too William Afton core.

Are There Any OCs You Find Yourself Neglecting:

Each OC has gotten their time in the spotlight, but I haven’t developed all of the characters from that royal family. And I have waning interest if the cast of Ora and the Rift in Time…

There are concept OCs I neglect since I dunno what to do with them. Like Brittlebrine. He started off as a cool concept for exactly one day and then I never thought about him again. And I’m still conflicted on Devon…..

An OC that’s difficult to write/draw/rp:

Vipsi’s hard to write, despite having little screentime. She lost her mind, but I don’t entirely know how to write insanity arcs. Not to mention that I didn’t really know how their story should go…

My entire godly pantheon is difficult for me to draw (except for Lux, since I’ve had her design figured out). I don’t have finalized designs for some of the less important gods, but the design ideas are difficult…

Out of the few OCs I’ve roleplayed, Karmin has been the most difficult (which is ironic, considering she originated from one). I have to actively consider what is going on in her brain and how to present it in a good way. But it’s okay since she’s only ever been in two rps ever.

Your Tallest & Shortest OCs:

My shortest is probably Gemi! He’s less than 4 feet tall. Truly a little guy.

And my eldritch being OCs are the tallest. In their most incomprehensible forms, they’re about 40-70 feet tall? It fluctuates, since they’re impossible to comprehend. But they’re very large.

Your Oldest and Youngest OCs:

As much as I’d like to say my youngest is Levi, he was born 500 years before Masked present! That means that Ora is likely my youngest, being 7 or 8.

Just like with height, my eldritch being OCs take the cake for being the oldest. They’re all billions of years old, except for Thirio and Tsumi. Epithymia is the oldest of them all, but if Nova were still alive, he would’ve won the crown.

Do You Dislike Any Of Your OCs?

Mr. Bi Solomon deserved that bullet to the brain. See you in hell, you corporate motherfucker.

Have You Ever Made A Self-Insert?

Oh yeah. My sona Doodle doubles as a self-insert when I don’t want to make an entirely new character with a flat personality since they’re based on me.

Branching off of Doodle thanks to some sort of evolution is a self-insert named Sketch. Sketch is what happens when I want to ship myself with characters, but they will be the star of the SPM fic I have planned!

Here is the current design for them, made by the lovely @gracebeth3604! (Cropped to avoid spoilers </3)

An OC Regret:

I have OCs that spawned from ideas that I didn’t fully know how to handle well, or problematic media. They were all from when I was younger, though, so all is forgiven and those OCs have been sent to the fiery oblivion.

Weeeelp that’s all of it! If you’ve read this all, I’m super impressed! Thank you so much, but you’re gonna forget all this. I hope it was worth it to you! ❤️

[dedicatedfollower467]

Game Dev Log #1 - 4/30/24

i saw a video the other day that suggested that the number one best thing you can do as an indie game developer is make regular devlogs and share them with people, and try to have new art or videos or gifs each time you make an update.

i thought "what the hell. why not." so here's a short video of gameplay with my new platformer that i started working on just yesterday.

as you can see, i've got most of the basic movement programmed, including walking/running, jumping, wall sliding, wall jumping, and crawling. there's some rudimentary camera movement as well, just to follow the player around the screen.

what i'm probably most pleased with is the jumping mechanics: it's hard to tell in this video because i didn't think to demonstrate it, but the height of the jump is based on how long you hold down the jump button - a shorter press results in a shorter jump. the mechanic for double/triple jumps also exists, but i didn't demonstrate it in the video.

i made all the assets and animation myself. all the artwork is placeholder, for now, although i might keep the basic shape of the character as visual development progresses. i just wanted to have something that looked like i made it, rather than taking the same old free pixel art assets that everyone else uses for their first games.

there are a few major bugs i want to work out. the main one is the very janky way that the wall slide mechanic currently figures out which direction the sprite should be facing. it's very easy to confuse and the player will often get caught going the wrong direction, which messes with movement. there's also some issues with the crawling button getting stuck so that the player can no longer crawl that i'd like to try to fix.

this is only the start of this little game. it's not groundbreaking or anything, but i think it doesn't hurt to share and get ideas and feedback early on in the process.

i think my next steps will be working on the movement bugs and adding in some basic music and sound effects. music and sound effects obviously aren't necessary to gameplay, but i think they will help to make the game feel more real, and hopefully motivate me to continue to do more with the project.

using godot game engine, btw!

[bluegekk0]

i think that this song somehow fits feral pk for some reason in my head and i wanted to share it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SECVGN4Bsgg

Men At Work - Who Can It Be Now?

i imagine that what if feral pale king was still paranoid and anxious that the point that he always isolates himself because he always thinks of his past failures as a king.

Despite that the radiance is defeated and long gone. Feral Pale King has intense fear and trauma so strong that is slowly damaging his mental health. feral pk still thinks that the radiance is watching him and is secretly plot revenge for feral pale king to make him suffer. In feral pk's mind, the radiance is patiently waiting for feral pk to let his guard down. which is the reason why feral pk became feral

and that thought gives pale king so much nightmares even though that the radiance is no longer here in hallownest

imagine an au of this au that feral pk is 10x depressed than before with a sprinkle of more angst. an au where feral pk is still paranoid of the radiance despite the radiance is dead which makes it pointless to be fearful of

an au where hornet tries to help feral pk overcome their depression and trauma

sorry for this long ask, Men At Work - Who Can It Be Now? reminds me of a depressed feral pk hiding in a cave with unwanted thoughts

oh damn this song takes me back ahahahaha thank you for reminding me of it

funnily enough, the way i see him in my head (which i don't really portray in my art much, i'll admit) he is very paranoid. not about the radiance, he's assured that she's gone. in the au, grimm is her half brother, and if there's anyone who could confirm that the radiance is no more, it would be him

instead, he is paranoid about pretty much everything else. in particular about failing everyone yet again, and hurting those close to him. the deaths of all the vessels that he was responsible for have devastated him, and it's the main thing that keeps his mental health in shambles. there are good parts to his new life, and he loves it and wants to experience the happy moments, but every so often he is hit by the reminder of what he did and how much of a failure he is. that, and all of his trauma that he can't process properly. those are the things that fuel his nightmares and constantly stress him out, no matter how happy he might be with his family around

so you're not that far off with your au idea. there is a lot of angst to fpk, and he is very much a depressed, broken man. i suppose the biggest difference is the radiance, even if she's gone in both the actual au, and your idea for the side au. also to the last part, hornet's involvement in his healing in the fpk au is a bit complicated, since she has a lot of her own issues to process and deal with. but they stick together, and that helps both of them in the long run. so i suppose in a way she does end up helping him, with the addition that she also manages to overcome her own issues thanks to him

but yeah, this was a very interesting ask! i really like this idea, it's not something i have considered, but it makes sense and i think it would be interesting to write about. if things went a bit differently with my vision, i could totally see myself going there, i might have actually considered something like that at one point if i remember correctly, though evidently it didn't go past the idea phase. so it's cool to see that someone else reached a similar concept hahaha

"reminds me of a depressed feral pk hiding in a cave with unwanted thoughts" <- i could totally see that even for the "main" fpk au btw. he does that a lot, even if he now swapped a cave for his dirtmouth house bedroom and a burrow made from blankets hah

thanks for the ask again! i don't mind getting longer asks btw, i actually really enjoy reading through them, so i appreciate this! sorry if my response is a bit incoherent, i haven't re-read it before posting. i'm very exhausted after the barbenheimer bomb (figuratively and literally) earlier today and i wanted to respond before going to bed

[dailylumi]

Jan 3rd

Guess I'm a bit late to the start of this daily blog but knowing me I'll be missing a lot of days coming ahead. I don't really know where to start so I'll just reflect on today and the last few days.

I kind of feel like I'm already starting 2023 on a rough note. I don't know the holiday season is just always a really tough and lonely time for me and with seasonal depression on top of that things have just been hard to get through. I mean I spent new years eve and christmas majorly alone and even if that is better than having to spend it with family it just felt so defeating not having anyone to actually be close to. I feel like things have just been building and hurting and I'm starting to feel disconnected from other people. Even if I know it's not true I just feel like I'm bothering others and constantly asking people to spend time with me to cover up for my loneliness and isolation. Kind of like a parsite.

I know people will say I'm not but it's hard not to feel that way when I already struggle with emotional permanence. I feel like there is just a wall and I'll always be stuck behind that and the classification of an "internet friend" or "long distance friend" to others. There is nothing wrong with that because it is true but you just feel so unimportant at times because of it. It's the feeling that you'll never come before anything in their immediate life that makes me feel like this. I feel like there's nothing wrong with that because in terms of relationships in person ones should be priority. I'm just.. Idk maybe I'm just complaining because I have no in person relationships. I feel so toxic thinking about this whole thing. It's just a woe is me, I'm acting like a baby and want attention moment it feels like. Need to get over myself

I'm probably just tired of feeling alone and in the process of trying not to feel alone I've just come to hate myself for this weakness and desperation more. Just constantly wondering if people will come to hate me if I try to cling so I shut down. It's just an unhealthy cycle and I feel like I'll be stuck feeling like this.

In other news I find myself back in a reading binge of sorts. Probably in connection with my desperation to escape reality but I start at least 1 series a day at this point. Today I read a few short GL series the main one being Handsome Girl and Sheltered Girl. I got recommended it by a friend that was making an edit of the series (10/10 edit btw). It was such a cute and interesting series.

This series should have been much and I was shocked to find out it got axed!? LIKE WHYY they even teased a gay couple developing in the last chapter. It had so much more promise and storyline it could have explored even if it still was a short series.

Also I am so upset I missed out on the hardcover barnes and noble sale! I so could have bought so many art books ughhh

I think the last thing I wanna talk about is probably what I think 2023 will have in store for me. I just know there is going to be so many changes ahead for me. From being out of school right now to moving across country later in the year. Not even mentioning the constant drama and stuff going with my family. I'm excited but filled with so many many worries that I feel overwhelmed at times. I just tell myself not to think on the what ifs and if any come up I need to just drown the thought itself. I get a lot of headaches lately though lol

I think a big realization I came to today is that while I can leave my family literally I don't think I'll be able to cut them out of my life as much I want to. So I might have to actually come out to my family so I can be more open when I am away. Idk the thought of hiding any more than I already do is mentally exhausting but so is the thought of coming out.

2023 will just be messy and a mental nightmare but that's okay I'll try to take things one day at a time

[the-bloody-sadist]

They thought I was trying to exaggerate 💀 not really, hyperbole is just what makes the post sound funnier LMAO it was based on some actual posts I was crying laughing over because of the jarring difference in tones

The reblogs are going crazy on this right now (so glad to see people laughing or agreeing btw) BUT SOME OF THEM THOUGHT I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO START A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE WHUMP COMMUNITY BEING THIS WAY 😂 NO IM….ITS JUST THE FRAMING OF THE POST TO MAKE IT A JOKE. IM PRETENDING TO BE CONCERNED. DO YOU GUYS SEE MY ART. IM BEING A GOOFY LITTLE GUY‼️ THATS ALL.

And the beauty of these communities is that we all freely express what we actually like and think, and everyone supports each other so they can have platforms for their imagination. In being happy with ourselves, we are kinder to others and don’t put on fronts to prove how “good” we are or how moral—hurting others more than helping, in the process. That’s why I made that post (in the form of a joke because that’s what makes it fun to reblog), because it was such a breath of fresh air when I first went looking through the whump community. Although I have trouble including myself in any group because who the fuck am I to belong anywhere, I like being able to see fiction portraying the horrors of humanity while knowing the writers behind it tend to be some of the best of humanity.

After all, those pretending to be consumed with being correct and perfect tend to be the most inhuman in their day to day lives.

*plays clown music* *walks away with exaggerated swagger* *trips over the threshold*

Thanks for the laughs, regardless. I’m happy to see the post took well!

Guys I would like to propose a conversation on why whumpblr has the most wholesome fandom coding and yet every whumpblr introduction post I ever see sounds like this:

“Hiiiii everybody! I’m new here, nice to meet you! I’m a bit shy, but I’ve been around for a while reading whump posts and thought it was finally time to join in! Here are some of my favorite tropes!!!!! ❤️😘🥰💕

LIMB CHOPPING, ANAL FISTING UNTIL PROLAPSE, TOE REMOVAL, REPEATED HEAD TRAUMA AGAINST THE SHARP CORNER OF A WALL, CRITICAL ORGAN ABUSE, FORCED CONSUMPTION OF BROKEN GLASS

If you guys are into that, let me know!! 💕💕💕💕 I follow back!”

You guys sound like the sweetest serial killers in the world

[pikatrainer99]

I drew my Trollsona again! Hope you guys like the drawing!

(If you guys can't read my terrible handwriting all over the place in the drawing please let me know and I'll tell you what it says 😅)

He's in his early teens in this drawing, and he's on his way back to his pod with a freshly replenished stock of berries, one basket in each hand as well as one being carried by his prehensile tail. This is basically concept art, hence all the details pointed out by arrows. He chooses to swing through the trees using his hair to travel faster and minimize the chance of running into other Trolls...because he's gray from being nothing but bullied by them, all because he was born with hypersensitive senses, especially his hearing, and can't handle parties and normal Troll stuff because of it, he's also very shy and introverted, and no one knows who or where his parents are (they left the egg containing him in the village, then immediately dipped, and there's been no sign of them at all since), so he's been a village outcast right from the beginning when he hatched, and has never had a single friend. He has been completely withdrawn and isolated, hiding away in his pod for years by the time this drawing takes place, and hasn't spoken a single word the whole time, not even to himself, the only communication method available to him now is his tail (which, since he's the only Troll in the village with a tail, also got him bullied...the others would physically hurt him by pulling his tail), which is the biggest indicator of his emotions. He only leaves his pod whenever he needs to gather more berries for food. He's also a smart cookie, he managed to soundproof the walls of his pod all by himself so he can feel safe there without having anxiety/panic attacks because of the loud noises and music of the village (despite the fact that he chose to hang his pod as close to the forest as possible without leaving village grounds, in order to minimize potential encounters with other Trolls when he goes out berry picking), and he spends his days now with a silent voice and racing mind, he's always thinking and writing about anything and everything that comes to his mind (it's all negative stuff, like him wondering why no one would be friends with him even way back when he was super little before he lost his colors and would try his best to reach out to the others). He's a depressed, traumatized, confused boy, but if you work hard to earn his trust (which will take a LOT of hard work), and he deems you trustworthy, he will be your friend for life (all he's ever wanted in his life is a friend...just one friend...poor little guy).

I think that's enough about my Trollsona's story for now. Just in case you were wondering, I based his story and behavior off of my own childhood (unlike my Trollsona though, I do in fact have parents), where I was very much bullied relentlessly myself for being autistic and different from everyone else around me, I couldn't make friends to save my life and I completely withdrew from society and isolated myself, had convinced myself that all people were bad for a LONG time, and didn't trust anyone because all I had ever experienced from other people was bullying and abuse...I have PTSD from it, and I'm trying to work on healing, and one of the most effective ways for me to process things is through writing and creating things, so I based my Trollsona on my child self as a way to hopefully help my wounded inner child to process and heal from the trauma. So I'll be using my Trollsona to write a series of stories (that I will NOT be posting online btw) that end up with a good outcome for him despite his suffering through his own traumas.

If you'd like to know more about my Trollsona and/or his story, please feel free to ask me about him! This post may be kinda long, but it honestly barely scratches the surface when it comes to my Trollsona and his story! 😅

[pun-o-rama]

The name is Pun. This isn’t so much of a blog dedicated to puns, it’s more like a zoo but the only sight to see is me.

I think I’m going old school with this blog, this is an actual blog, not a meme hoard. But if you want go follow @pun-pun-pun that blog was there when most ancient text of this site was written

Introductions, inspirations, and goals

Hello y’all,

Currently I’ve been on tumblr for more than a decade, and on the internet for longer. Now, I’ve truly only been an active participant within my local community’s social media, never really branching out with strangers until fairly recently, within the past five years. And only truly once with Tumblr, most of my interactions have been on PlayStation, I’ve seen some shit and have also acted poorly as well, that’s life for ya.

My name is Pun, nickname not my government name. I am in my late 20’s, living in California. I love to play video games, make artsy things, and find new adventures. I play mainly Destiny and Pokémon, with the occasional Fortnite or open world game (my library is limited tho lol.). I am a huge sucker for Animation, comics, painting, and plushie making. I will be documenting my process here btw. And with my stable income combined with my inability to save my money, I’m traveling more! I’m making it my goal to get out more often, even if it is by myself.

More recently I’ve been surrounded by vloggers, such as absolblogspokemon, gold Shaw farm, and various others especially my dad. He’s gone completely obsessed with running his vlog projects. Numbers, algorithms, and monetizations frequent his vernacular as of recent. At least he’s not becoming a conspiracy loon.

And well, I’ve been reflecting a whole lot more and wanting to share the cool things that I do and see, not necessarily to brag, but to help with myself to reflect and remember. I really like absol’s method of documenting his experiences as he shiny hunts Pokémon or completes challenges.

And while I dabble in shiny hunting, I truly don’t have the patience to do one singular task for long. And I’m leaning into it. I’ve struggled to get up do things, staying stagnated in my woes about how I don’t do much anymore, and I’M TIRED OF THIS. So if I jump from one thing to the next so be it.

It’s helped me make and do way moreee, more so if I were to try to muster up the focus to do one big task. If I want to run a blog then disappear for months on end, hell yeah. Jump between comic making to full blown writing, or sewing until my fingers hurt. The shame of not committing is no longer holding me hostage. Master of one vs master of all or half assing is better than no assing, you know?

So if you’ve read this far, great! If you want a TL;DR here.

My goal is to document the activities, the art, and the happenings of my life. I might get a little personal, or be vague. But these are my thoughts and this is where they’ll go. I was inspired by others to do this and I hope that you will enjoy.

Things as of now that will be documented:

Travel

Pokémon

Adventure Time

Plushie making

Animation

Art

Concerts

My Cat

Food I make

Story process (mainly fanfics lol)

Books I’ve read with my friend Mati

Hug somebody and drink some water, @pun-pun-pun

PS. NO AI Please, I do not consent to my work being scrubbed or copied for AI learning. Please make your own art, you are essentially creating worthless garbage that is devoid of all meaning and making a mockery of your humanity. Just make art yourself, you’ll have more fun that way.

[witchy-jadda]

rott spoilers ahead

so i’ve given myself some time to think about everything and try to process it all and here are some of my thoughts on trollhunters: rise of the titans...

- straight off the bat, i loved the intro. opening with blinky telling the story of what happened up until this point was incredible. i would have loved if they had circled back to this though (i saw someone else say it should have been him telling the story to jim and claire’s kids and i loved that idea!)

- i also liked that they didn’t waste time at the start, instead they just jumped right into the action which was fun.

- honestly, i thought jim’s plotline throughout the movie where he basically thought he was useless without the amulet was just really not fun to watch. i understand why it was there and it played into the climax but i really did not find it one bit necessary seeing as i felt that we have grown beyond that. i felt it was overused. we’ve been there before and jim is aware that he’s the trollhunter, amulet or not.

- douxie being so soft with nari was genuinely one of the most heartwarming parts of the movie. i feel that we were really robbed of so much potential with douxie in this movie though. we didn’t see nearly enough of him. it seemed that the writers were picking and choosing when to remember how powerful he is. switching with nari and connecting to her are two examples of when they actually used his power, but aside from that they just disregarded it a lot.

- and speaking of forgetting how powerful people are... i’m genuinely so hurt and let down over what they did to claire. do they not realise how powerful she is? did they just forget about her character arc? it sure felt like it. she got to use her powers a few times (connecting to nari, portalling the titan, etc) but mostly it felt like she was saying she was spent and therefore unable to do anything. she is so strong and so powerful, and that’s just so empowering - especially for young girls. and then it kinda felt to me that rott was reducing her to basically nothing more than jim’s love interest.

- okay another quick note, it kinda felt to me that krel’s potential was also pretty wasted? he barely did anything and i just think he deserved more too.

- ew okay i don’t even want to think about it but i know i can’t discuss rott without talking about the mpreg thing. seriously, what the fuck was that? at first, i thought it was going to be a joke. i thought aja and krel were gonna wind steve up and see how far they could go with making him think he was pregnant just for a little bit of comic relief. but then he was actually pregnant. and so i laughed, because even though it was dumb it was kind of funny. weird and unexpected, but kind of funny. but by the time the movie was over it just didn’t sit right with me. looking past the fact that it was just more of them making steve’s character into a joke, i couldn’t see the logic in giving so much time to that subplot when other characters (claire, douxie) and other relationships (claire and douxie’s friendship) were sidelined. maybe if he had gotten a whole season the mpreg thing could have been included as comic relief or whatever, but with such limited time i really don’t see the point of wasting so much time on something so pointless. 

- speaking of steve, i need to talk about creepslayerz... they really deserved more :( like i get that eli literally helped steve through child birth and then named one after him which was lowkey adorable but i loved their friendship so much and i was really hoping to see more of them. i was kind of hoping they’d get to do more as well. look i gave up on hopes of a romance long ago (even though i still really wished it would happen) but i hoped that at least we’d see some more of their friendship.

* by this point my brain has decided to forget absolutely every point i wanted to make... cue the brain fog (we don’t like her) and allow me to take a moment to read back and try to find my point again *

- i don’t think i can stress enough how much i loved the visuals in this movie. holy fucking shit it was just phenomenal. like wow. the art was absolutely fantastic and i’m really hoping for another the art of... book because i love the art of trollhunters and i feel that they could do with updating it to include the newer stuff. but yep, the animation quality was incredible and i don’t have a bad thing to say about it because just wow.

- speaking of art... a moment of appreciation for character designs. just wow wow wow. we love to see such intricately designed villains. we love to see growth in our other much loved characters. and the locations too? fantastic. beautiful. amazing. loved it.

- another moment of appreciation for jim. the hair. the scars. the injuries. the winter jacket. the fact that he looked a little older.... loved it. loved it, loved it, loved it. i cannot wait to spend hours pouring over reference pictures to draw them all.

- and claire... her armor being weathered and worn. her eyes!! her hair looked great as always. i just love her...

- nari nari nari... my goodness, her magic is so beautiful. i wish we got to see more.

- also, the jlaire moments were very cute. their kisses? so soft. they literally love each other so much. i adore them.

- what happened to the babies from the darklands btw? is not enrique just chilling in the lake’s house with a ton of babies? 

- barbara deserved better. i would have liked to see her and strickler happy.

- on that note, why the actual fuck did they think a few explosives would win against magic?? literal ancient magic and these dumbasses were like huh i guess we should blow it up. i’m sorry, what?? y’all are stupid.

* currently trying to think of every possible point that isn’t to do with the ending because i really don’t want to think about that yet *

- the whole thing with archie and charlemagne felt super unnecessary. like usually characters sacrifice themselves and it’s like sad and you can see the reasoning and stuff. but they literally could have gotten out. i really did not vibe with that. it felt like they just did that to leave douxie with no one.

- that trollmarket was beautiful though.

- speaking of trollmarket... they really restored the heartstone just like that? are you joking? i was not impressed at all. the heartstone was dead and gone, could not be destroyed. did they just forget that? half the shit in wizards wouldn’t have happened if the heartstone could have been restored. very pissed off by that. it was dead, that was it.

- okay back to jim... love that he pulled the sword from the stone. it was cute that it was a group effort, kinda would have preferred if it was just him but that’s just a me thing. and maybe me and my daylight tattoo are biased here, but excalibur is not half as pretty as daylight.

- not gonna lie, jim yelling come on trollhunters! kinda got me. i was very emotional watching this.

- i think the most in character jim moment of the whole movie was when he dropped excalibur, he didn’t have his armor, he was all alone and he decided to make a fist and fight the wizard/god with literally no weapon or means of defence. i don’t think y’all understand how much i love this dumb self sacrificing selfless boy. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, he is literally one of my most favourite characters of all time. i love him with all my heart.

- the armor!! wow wow wow. that was a fucking cool scene. beautiful.

- jim getting stabbed or whatever with that fucking spear thing nearly killed me.

- okay here goes... toby. my sweet toby. jim and toby’s friendship is one of my absolute favourites ever. my goodness. and toby getting in the van and going to save jim was incredible and such a toby thing to do. of course he would think of doing that.

- but like seriously... claire and douxie are so fucking powerful and they were both just like lol i guess we can’t do anything to help jim? i’m sorry what?? don’t tell me that claire wouldn’t go full on black and purple eyes and get herself up their to him. i just... i’m so bothered by the fact that they were sidelined y’all :|

- also, do not seriously try to tell me that aaarrrgghh!!! would let toby go on his own. he would have went with him. he would have followed him.

- literally as jim was falling the first thing that went through my mind was oh aaarrrgghh!!! is gonna run up and catch him.

- and while we’re on the topic of aaarrrgghh!!! why tf did they have such a build up that something was going to happen to either him or blinky for literally no reason? wtf

- aaarrrgghh!!! would not have let toby go alone!!! if he had been there, he would have protected toby, he would have saved him and none of that mess of an ending would have happened.

* ugh here’s the bit i was dreading... the ending *

- first off, i am choosing to ignore it.

- time stone? really? we’re... we’re gonna do this? literally one of the most original things i have ever watched is now - at the literal last possible minute - rip off another movie?? really?? whyyyy???

- i literally cannot express how much i hated it. it was so fucking unnecessary.

- he didn’t need to go back that far!!!

- i’m actually trying to block this out but i suppose i have to at least touch on it. jim would never ever put that burden on to toby. he just wouldn’t. before even looking at all of the other issues with toby getting the amulet, i need to say that. it just wouldn’t happen. he struggled so much with being the trollhunter, he wouldn’t put that on toby. 

- also toby literally never wanted to be the trollhunter?? he never wanted the amulet? he wanted to be a duke and have his war hammer and go on adventures with his best friend and his wingman and eat mexican food.

- okay so um i guess they all just forgot about unbecoming? cool cool cool.

- seriously though, was it not established many times that jim literally had to be trollhunter? and if he wasn’t it would be draal and everything would go to shit? did they just forget about that??

- having jim just decide to give toby the amulet literally takes away from the entire meaning behind jim getting the amulet and becoming the trollhunter. the amulet chose jim. merlin chose him. out of all of the creatures in the world, it had to be jim. he can’t just give that to toby!!

- and as much as i love toby, he would not last a day as trollhunter.

- and that’s not even beginning to mention all that jim erased by not becoming trollhunter. no father son relationship between him and blinky. they didn’t stop steve from picking on eli so no steve redemption and no creepslayerz. is he just going to allow enrique to be taken? toby will not have the same incentive to go into the darklands to save him if that’s the case. strickler will not show any sort of sentiment towards toby either. and then the big one...

- IS THAT FUCKER REALLY GOING TO ALLOW CLAIRE TO NOT GET HER POWERS??? WHAT???

- if jim isn’t trollhunter and the whole thing with enrique doesn’t happen then claire will never get her shadowstaff. let’s be real, strickler probably wouldn’t even need angor rot with toby as trollhunter. somehow i can’t see him making it that far...

- if claire doesn’t have her shadow staff then the whole thing with morgana won’t happen. she won’t destroy the shadow staff and then she will never develop her powers. would jim really rob her of that?

- okay i can’t do anymore, it’s too much for me now...

- i touched on this already in a separate post but i gotta say it again... i did not enjoy the destiny is a gift bit at the end. first of all, jim having toby find the amulet literally takes the meaning of that speech and his destiny away instanty. and second, i just could not stand hearing emile hirsch say the words that belonged to anton yelchin. it was just uncomfortable.

aaand i think i’m done. maybe i’ll have more later but i have a headache now from all of this.

[transmasc-slykinnie]

Tw gr**ming, s*icide mentions, ab*sive friendships, manipulative behavior

I was gr**med by @jazzthesapphicqueen part 1 (this will be in parts because I am very exhausted and emotionally damaged by all of this and I have been friends with her for a whole year so there's a lot to process)

I used to be enbynoizkinnie and have deleted my blog multiple times and that ties into this, I met Jazz soon after I was gr**med by helios because she was already one of my moots, we first became friends because she asked for the full picture of a ns/fw drawing I did in dms and I gave it to her (she clarified that she was 17 at the time so I thought it was okay to he her friend, which oh yeah btw she like just turned 18 in december btw so funfact ig). We later moved to discord because I wanted to get to know her better and be her friend and already she was very guiltrippy towards me or very self loathing and whenever I had offered help or comfort she never really denied it but never said she wanted it and when she just kept saying how she "didn't deserve it", I am saying this to give an example of what kind of person she is because she'd constantly say that and make situations where I was hurt about her. There are multiple periods in the span I've been friends with her where I have almost k*lled myself because how ab*sive she was towards me (thus why I have deleted my account so many times, I just wanted to be forgotten) and for a time she had brought out the absolute worst in me and for awhile made me as bad as her, I am not a saint with how I was with her but I wasn't anywhere near as bad as her. I will admit her behaviors had heavily influenced mine and for awhile I couldn't stop traumadumping, guiltripping, and being codependent on her. Thing is I have brought myself out of that cycle myself and I've realized how fucking awful she was to me. Now onto the gr**ming, this is out of order but the most recently she has sent me porn and turned conversations s*xual and hinted at/coerced me into drawing p*rn for her. I haven't said my actual age publicly before in this fandom because I knew i would've gotten booed off but I started my account(enbynoizkinnie) at 14, I was 15 when Jazz did all this and now I am 16. So just for reference here, she is 17 almost turning 18 and im still 15

I need to make another post rq because I have more screenshots, these are all the ones I have right now and please be patient with me I still am having to process this and even now there are things I don't want to process. Also she was fully aware of my age and didn't really care.

I'll be reposting this with more images of her being vulgar/predatory at me and being aware of my age. And coercing me for free p*rn art and even sending me p*rn