#bryke projected their feelings about a woman's place pretty indiscreetly when they wrote their romances

[linnoya-writes]

Aang actually *was* a Terrible Dad (and we should stop making excuses for him).

One thing I cannot get over is how people say that Aang actually wasn't that terrible of a father, and I keep hearing the same excuses to his behavior: he didn't grow up with conventional parents, he had to focus on bringing back his air-bending culture, Katara was already a natural parent and was totally okay being the housewife/mom who let Aang off the hook with most of the serious parenting duties... ugh....

Anyway, I have three points to give:

1) Aang may not have grown up with conventional family structure, but he certainly knew enough about the world (being a nomad his whole life pre-war) to understand what a healthy family dynamic looked like. He knew enough about Toph's dad and Zuko's dad to understand what a poor father figure looked like. Aang also spent time with Hakoda, in ATLA season 3, to see the characteristics of a good father -- and this doesn't even include the time he spent traveling with Sokka/Katara alone and noticing how their dad's absence was affecting them. I put a lot of emphasis on Katara, here, because she makes it very clear in Season 3 that her father leaving the family was devastating... and this girl would want a partner who understood those feelings and do absolutely everything to keep the family together. It's what she did throughout the entirety of ATLA-- Katara was the glue that kept everyone close -- and you would think Aang would pick up on those cues, rather than let history repeat itself after he had his family with Katara. Imagine how awful it must've been for Katara, watching the man she married ultimately go off with their air-bending son on these cultural excursions, and not even consider that their two other kids might want to learn about air bending culture anyway. They're a bi-cultural family, after all, right? Wouldn't that have been a prime example for the new world, showing a blended family being together and not separate? Just let that sink in for a moment.

2) Many people say that any misunderstood family dynamics between Kya, Bumi and Tenzin came to a peaceful conclusion in LOK season 2 with a happy family portrait. Here's the thing-- a posed, smiling family portrait doesn't necessarily indicate a healthy family unit. I'm also making note of LOK Season 3, when Bumi admits that he finally feels more connected to their father after he magically gets Airbending, and also that scene when Kya/Bumi arrive to the Northern Air Temple and the acolytes are shocked to hear that Avatar Aang had other children besides Tenzin. I mean... how much effort would it take, exactly, for Aang to just mention to the temple monks and acolytes that he had two other kids? Was he embarrassed to tell them they weren't air benders? Was he ashamed? In any case, he was the Avatar and he should've demonstrated pride for the children he had regardless of their bending ability or lack their-of. It goes without saying that, while Aang did grow up differently and had many priorities being the Avatar and the Last Airbender... he still made some conscious choices about how little of a "family man" he wanted to be. Aang clearly favored the air-bending life and didn't process that he was also raising a family that was part WaterTribe (perhaps because many of their customs clashed with his air-bending way of life... but that's another conversation.)

3) Yes, Bryke are notorious for writing examples of poor father figures (Ozai/Unalaq/BeiFong/Yakone/Hiroshi) and I'm also here to tell you that they're known for writing women who lose agency and turn devoted-doting-domestic-docile once they get with their man. Pema from LOK is a good example-- all we know about her is she literally gave her life to be an air-acolyte and carry Tenzin's children (the only backstory we get is Pema secretly pined for Tenzin until it became too much and she had to say something), and be the good housewife and mother to those air bending kids. We know nothing about this woman's individual wants or needs outside of motherhood. Another example is the backstory of Yakone and his unnamed wife who-- after giving this man two sons, completely disappears from the narrative and is not aware Yakone is abusing his kids. And she's still exists, because Amon refuses to go with Noatak so as to not abandon their mom. Their mother was so unnecessary as a character after she had the kids, she became this oblivious/silent character in the background who let her own kids get abused. Another example is Unalaq's wife-- again, about a father using his two kids like his henchmen and the mother isn't even in the picture. We know she exists because after Unalaq gets destroyed... Esna turns to Desca and says "what're we gonna tell Mother?"  It may have been written as a subtle joke... but the underlying sentiment is still there.

I'd say my favorite example is the fate of Fire Lady Ursa-- a woman once determined to protect her children that she was willing to commit murder and treason -- ends up choosing to forget those same children and instead wipes all her memories of them entirely to start a quiet domestic life with her childhood sweetheart, a man who very much knows the life Ursa left behind and has the power to decide what truths he wants to tell her about the world and live like there wasn't even a bloody war happening. (Don't even get me started on how The Search disappointed me. Oy).

Perhaps Aang and Katara -- even without intent -- might have fallen into that formulaic pattern when Bryke wrote out the first two seasons of LOK, because that was during the time The Promise, The Search and The Rift comics got published, and Katara's character was definitely becoming that unquestionably-loyal/no fuss/devoted girlfriend to Aang where she would go with everything he decided and sadly sit in a corner while Aang got all the praise and attention and never considering her feelings. Bryke picked up on these mistakes, however, because in the later comics like North & South and Imbalance, you can see them giving Katara some leadership moments (particularly when Aang isn't around) and Aang more of a mature, considerate approach with Katara, saying things like "I'm sorry I just left you to fight alone like that!" and "You're always asking me if I'm okay. Now it's my turn-- are you okay?"  The effort was definitely there to make Aang and Katara look somewhat more compatible than they let on. But things didn't really seem that promising in Legend of Korra... as Katara's character arc gets breadcrumbs of acknowledgement regarding what she did for the world outside of Aang's narrative.

It seems like Katara's badass individual characteristics were written second only to whatever she needed to be for Aang, including being the primary parent to his non-airbender kids while he focused on the air-bending culture.

In any case-- I'm almost certain Bryke will be bending over backwards to "fix" all of these flawed elements of Kataang and Aang as a father figure in the upcoming animated feature films, because if there's anything Bryke likes to do... it is "tell" us that Aang was a great guy and there absolutely was no other better person for Katara.