#bru i wanna pull so bad oh my god

[goddessofgamma]

Writing Cities and Faulty Electronics, Chapter 6 (Ao3 Link)

Summary: Bruce is is a haze after his date with Thor, but gets some news that will radically alter his week.

Bruce couldn’t believe himself.  He’d kissed Thor.  He had been the one to lean in, the one to start something. Thor kissed me back, he remembered.  Thor held me to him, kissed me like there was nothing he would rather do in the world.

So maybe Valkyrie had been right, he had been checking Thor out.  The idea of having a crush on someone was pretty alien to Bruce, he hadn’t properly been in a relationship for about a decade.  Since he’d been at Edinburgh, he’d only had the occasional blind dates (all with women) that Tony insisted he go on.  Bruce had pushed any romantic thoughts to the back of his head for a long time.  He hadn’t even properly considered dating a man before Thor made his way into his life. Sure, he found men attractive, but he wasn’t looking for love, and he really didn’t feel like telling Tony he was bi only to have more blind dates, this time with men, thrust upon him.

Thor had been unexpected. A beautiful, intelligent man who seemed to be really interested in Bruce, put in the situation of having a shed load of reasons for spending time together.  His voice is so lovely, Bruce thought as he watched Thor give a lecture, the afternoon before their date.  I could listen to him for days.

The whole evening had been a flood of emotions, happiness, anticipation, nervousness.  Somehow, even feeling nervous around Thor made him feel good, got him high on excitement, on Thor’s enthusiasm.  Bruce hadn’t been sure at the start of the evening whether Thor understood that Valkyrie had set this up as a date.  But Thor had held his hand as they waited for their food, his eyes darted between Bruce’s eyes and lips.  

Doubts and worries that Bruce had held were overridden as Thor became more affectionate.  It was like collecting evidence; holding someone’s hand at a dinner for two, looking with desire at your companion’s lips, these were things people did on dates, things that were firmly placed in the ‘romance’ category of actions.

It hadn’t even felt like a decision when he leant in on tip-toes to kiss Thor.  He’d felt a pull, magnetic, towards Thor, a need to know what it felt like to kiss him, to hold him close.  As the kiss was returned, Bruce released a tension in him he didn’t even know was there, dissolving into Thor’s arms.

Bruce knew he should have more time to process his feelings, shouldn’t stay the night with Thor, but the whole walk home he could think of little else.  He thought of the feeling of Thor’s body pushed hard against him, the taste of his lips, so unfamiliarly masculine and still so sweet.  His mind wandered further, extrapolating how Thor’s strong arms would feel around him, imagining how it would have been if he’d stayed, how good it would feel to let himself go with Thor with him every step of the way.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts before he made a fool of himself in public, Bruce opened the gate to his small terraced house.  

His phone was glowing red, showing that he had a new message.  He grappled with whether to answer it, knowing it would spoil his mood, but reluctantly pressed the play button.  

The first message was from the home his father had been looked after.  Brian Banner had passed away in his sleep, following kidney failure. The sentence rang hollow to Bruce. He wasn’t shocked, he didn’t feel sad or happy.  He just felt numb.  The man he’d been scared of since before he could remember anything was dead.  The funeral was to be held in two days.

The second message was from Bruce’s cousin, Jennifer Walters.  The sound of her voice immediately made Bruce connect much more to the call than he had to the anonymous nurse from the other call.  Jen said that the home had called her when they couldn’t get through to Bruce. She’d understand if he didn’t want to go to the funeral, but she would love to see him, and wanted to be there for him if he needed her.

Bruce had a strange feeling in his chest, that a whole part of his life just felt inconclusive.  He’d spent so much of his life in fear, wanting to get away from his father and now he was gone, but Bruce couldn’t picture him gone in his mind.  The last image he had of him was as he was at his parole hearing, where they agreed to send him to a specialised facility for elderly offenders.  Brian looked frail then, almost physically falling apart, but his voice was the same as the man who had yelled at him, yelled at his mother until yelling at her hadn’t been enough for him.

In that moment, Bruce decided.  He needed to go to the funeral, needed to get himself to believe that his father was dead, that this was all over.

He booked his tickets over, phoned Jen to ask if he could stay over, sent an email to T’challa to request leave due to bereavement.  It felt strange to Bruce to call it a ‘bereavement’.  He really didn’t feel like mourning.

Barely able to sleep, Bruce had so many conflicting emotions that he felt queasy.  He woke up to the piercing sound of his alarm, his heart racing at 100 beats per minute at his anticipation.

Hulk had been fed last Monday, and so would be okay for food until after he returned but he dropped Val a message asking if she could pop in to check on him anyway.  

“G’bye Hulk, I’ve leaving for a few days.”  

Hulk hissed.

“Screw you, you little asshole,” Bruce said, his tone fond.

He left for the airport with just a small carry on bag with a few crumpled clothes in it and an Irn-Bru to keep him awake after such a bad night’s sleep.  

Jen met him at Los Alamos airport, and as soon as Bruce saw her, his heart slowed to a normal pace.

“Bruce!  It’s so good to see you.”  She wrapped him in a hug.  “It’s been too long.”

“I know, Jen I should have visited in the summer, I just –“ He couldn’t think of a proper explanation. “You know what I’m like.”  She nodded.

“You’re too wrapped up in your work.”  She shrugged. “So am I.”

She drove him to the apartment she was renting while she was here, telling him all about a recent case she was the defence lawyer for as they went.

“The prosecution was using a deathbed confession as their main piece of evidence, it was so flimsy, and even then, my client wouldn’t just call it out as a lie. We got him off, but God, he was a difficult client,” She finished.  Bruce smiled, not really understanding the ins and outs of Jen’s job but proud of her anyway.  I guess all those days spent studying in the library together really paid off.

“So, what’s going on with you?  You must have just started teaching again, right, how’s that?”

“Eh, good, it’s going good. My students are really attentive, and we’ve got a new lecturer in the apartment –“  His speech slowed a little as he dwelled on Thor.  “- He’s really great.  Uh, I mean, it’s been really great having him around, helping the department.”

“That’s nice, it’ll be really good for you to have another friend and colleague to talk about the science stuff I don’t understand,” Jen said absent-mindedly, focusing more on driving.

“Um, yeah, another friend.” Bruce adjusted his glasses, unsure whether to properly tell Jen about Thor.

“What was that about?” Jen shot him a look.

“What was what about?”

“You hesitated.”

“Aren’t I allowed to just hesitate a bit?”  Bruce loved Jen but sometimes he thought she knew her mannerisms little too well.

“Sure you are, but I know it means you aren’t telling me everything.  Tell me about this new lecturer guy.”

“Er,” He couldn’t think why to say no.  “He’s called Thor Odinson, he specialises in electromagnetics.”  Bruce tried not to let his excitement about Thor shine through in his voice.  

“Is he Scandinavian?” Bruce shot her a ‘how did you come to that conclusion?’ look.  “Oh, come on, with a name like Thor?  He’s either Scandinavian or his parents were a couple of these white American parents who give their kids names like ‘Kayleigh’ but somehow spelt with eleven ‘e’s.”

“He’s Icelandic, originally, so not technically Scandinavian.”

“Does he look like a Thor?”

“How is it possible to ‘Look like a Thor’?”

“Is he pale with blond or ginger hair and a long beard?  And super tall?”

“Not a long beard.”

Jen laughed.

“So he does look like a Thor.”

They pulled into the driveway and made their way to Jen’s apartment.  Talking for hours, Bruce felt comfortable, remembering the good part of home, how nice it was to have someone who had known him so long that he felt that nothing he said could be a shock in her company.  A few hours into their conversation, Jen finally found it in herself to bring up the reason that Bruce had come back to America in the first place.

“You don’t have to go to his funeral, you know.”  Jen was calm as she said it, having clearly considered what she was going to say.

“I know,” Bruce quietly replied.  “I don’t –“ He couldn’t think of the right phrasing. “I don’t wanna pay my respects, you know.  I don’t – I didn’t respect him.  But I’m here now and I just wanted it to be over, wanted everything with him to be over.”

Jen nodded.  

The funeral was quiet, with only three people in attendance.  No one had anything nice to say about Brian Banner.  Bruce considered that if he were a more forgiving person, he might thank his father pushing his interest in nuclear physics, but he flinched at the thought.  Science is my thing.  He doesn’t get to have any claim to any of my achievements.

He gave up the right to that when he slammed my mom’s head against the sidewalk.  No, Bruce corrected himself. He gave up his right to claim having anything to do with me before that, when he threatened me, yelled at my mother.  

Emotions were buzzing through Bruce, feelings of anger and sadness and spite.  He could feel it in his veins, as though someone had whipped a whirlwind of conflicting hormones and nerve signals through him.  His breathing sped, and he pleaded with himself not to cry.  He doesn’t deserve me crying at his funeral. He stole my childhood, stole my mom, he doesn’t get to have this.  

Trying to hold back his tears only made it worse, and soon his eyes were red and Jen was at his side, not holding him, knowing he’d need space, but staying there for him.

“I’m not sad he’s gone,” Bruce quietly said to Jen when the funeral was over, and they could go back home. “I haven’t given a crap about him in thirty-five years.”

“I know.”  Jen’s response was calm, not wanting to make Bruce say any more than he was comfortable with.

They ended up getting Chinese take-out, as both of them were awful at cooking.  Jen had done all she could to cheer Bruce up and it was starting to work.  Who knows? Maybe crying and stopping bottling your emotions up of a little while is actually a healthier coping mechanism.

As they were eating, Jen was checking her phone, which was winding Bruce up a little because it was quite unlike her.  The fuzzy feeling of having had an emotional outburst was still flowing through Bruce, but he was in a much better mood.

“Wow, this new lecturer of yours is really, well, something.”

Bruce’s head snapped up to look at her.

“What? Thor?  Why do you say that?”

“I’m on his instagram.  Have you seen this?”

“No.” Bruce gestured to Jen to show him.  His pictures were really funny, no pictures of him working out or being overly serious.  They ranged from picture of him and his brother on Halloween, dressed as a snake and a ghost, to one of the classiest pictures on his account, of him posing in a cat café, captioned ‘Do radioactive cats live 18 half-lives?’.  Bruce felt heated at seeing Thor.  He still hadn’t processed their kiss, found himself wondering if had gone mad and imagined it.  Unable to stop a small smile on his lips, Bruce prayed he wasn’t blushing.

“They’re nice photos,” Bruce said, trying to sound normal.

“Nice?  They’re a bit weird but I think the fact that he’s hotter than one of those hydrothermal vents you did your third PhD on more than makes up for it.”  Bruce tried not to directly look at her, feeling his face heat. “What is it?”  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bruce, you’re not looking at me properly.  What is it?  Is it something about this Thor man?”

Why is it so difficult to tell her? Bruce knew Jen should be the easiest person to tell.  She was a liberal as they come, loved Bruce unconditionally.  It took a moment for Bruce to click that this would be his first time coming out to anyone.  Valkyrie was proudly bi, and kind of assumed everyone else she met was bi until proven otherwise, so he hadn’t even had to tell her.  With Thor, well, he hadn’t come out, he’d just kissed him.

Jen was the person in Bruce’s life who’d been there the longest, so even though Bruce knew she would be supportive, he felt like it would change how she saw him, rewrite memories from years ago as a new part of himself was revealed to her.  He almost felt embarrassed for not telling her earlier, like he was making too big a deal of it now by having kept it to himself.

This is stupid.  I’ll tell her, I can’t feel bad for not telling her before it was relevant, I’ve never really talked much about any of my relationships, she’ll understand.

“I-“  He made himself look at her properly.  “I went on a date with him on Thursday.”

Jen’s eyes went wide.  She wasn’t the sort of person to go and seek out gossip and root through people’s personal lives, but she did appreciate an interesting piece of news.

“You went on a date with this amazing, brainy muscle-god-man?”  Bruce involuntarily smiled.

“Yeah.”

“How did it go?”

“Great.”  Bruce didn’t know how to explain it.  “More than great.”  Jen raised an eyebrow.  “Not like that! I – We talked and went for dinner, and kissed him and it was great.” Bruce felt embarrassed saying it, but mentally reprimanded himself.  Just because you’re talking about a date with a man, doesn’t mean that it’s any more explicit or inappropriate to talk to your cousin about, Bruce had to remind himself.

Jen beamed at him.

“Aww, Brucie has a crush.  Are you going to see him again?”

“Yeah, I will.  I thought I’d see him at lectures this week, but then I came here-“

“Did you tell him what had happened?”

“No, I got the phone call after the date and I wasn’t gonna call him up after the date to tell him ‘oh that was a great evening, but my dad was biting the dust as we were biting our shawarma’.  I’ll see him soon, though.”  Bruce could feel himself get excited at the prospect.

“Does he know that?  That you’ll want to see him again?”

“Yeah, of course.”

He’s incredible.  How would he ever think I wouldn’t want to keep seeing him?

[mrs-langley]

Testing the waters

BYRON LANGLEY IMAGINE

MASTERLIST

Request:  anon-  Can you do an imagine where the reader and byron have a little argument and it ends up all cute and stuff? Thank you😍❤️

&

Anon - hey love, can we do something with y/n being a huge science nerd and just cute rambles to byron about class and stuff? ty <3

A/N: these requests worked so well in this and idk why???

Words: 2269 - aye

Warnings: mentions of alcohol  

“Well hurry up before they hear us!” I whisper shouted from the door of Joe’s apartment. Him, Jack and Caspar were filming so Byron decided it was safe for him and I to go out for lunch and spend some time together as we hadn’t told anyone there was something happening between us yet.

“I’m coming, let me just get my shoe on.” He chuckled. “okay,” he announced and stretched out his leg, ‘’come on, let’s go.” He stood up from the stairs and pulled me from the door causing it to close behind us. “How are you?” He smirked and pressed a warm kiss to my temple.

“Good, I got an A for that essay I wrote.” I smiled as I filled him in on all my news.

“And you thought you were going to do badly.” He groaned as he rolled his eyes making me giggle and hug his side. “What do you want to do?” He sighed once we had finished sharing our news with each other ,when we got out the elevator.

“I thought we were just gonna go to my place?” I frowned and took his hand in mine as we stood outside Joe’s flat block contemplating which way to go.

“Mm, I feel like doing something different.” He hummed and tugged me the opposite direction from my flat.

“That sounds a bit dangerous but okay,” I giggled and leaned into him again, “we can go to that place down the street, you know, the one with that pasta? What is it called again?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” He said smugly and draped an arm around my shoulder.

“I can’t remember the name, but you’ll know it when you see it.” I giggled and directed us towards the restaurant.

“So then I told her, no, you can’t sniff the hydrochloric acid. Then she was like, then how am I supposed to know if it’s water or not then I said, and I quote, "how the hell are you getting your masters if you can’t read a fucking label.” I explained as Byron took another bite of food. “Then she sniffed it like 15 minutes after we had that discussion and she was surprised when it burnt her nose, throat and lungs?”

“I really want to come to class with you one day.” He chuckled as he wiped some pasta sauce off his face.

“No, you don’t.” I retorted before taking a bite of food. “It’s horrible, despite being in such an advanced class, I’m still surrounded by morons.” I said with a mouthful of lasagne.

He put a hand on my thigh reassuringly, “I need to make sure you’re not trying to get high off acid.” He said concerned making me laugh.

“If I promise you I’m not trying to sniff acid will you promise me you’ll never come to class, you’ll be killed either by those idiots.” I said pretending to be serious.

“Deal.” He said between hysterics, holding out his pinky he wrapped his around mine sealing his deal. “Enjoying your lunch?” He asked and squeezed my thigh.

I hummed as I swallowed my last bite, “Mhm, I got my favorite.” I said smiling and looking over at him smugly before I got distracted from someone walking into the restaurant. I choked slightly on my food when I realized it was Joe, Caspar and Jack.

“What? Oh god.” He said once he had looked up. “Please don’t see us.” He mumbled, making me chuckle.

“Am I that ugly?” I said turning slightly so they couldn’t see my face or Byron if they looked towards us.

he grinned widely, “Yeah, I can’t believe I’m even here with you geez.” He smirked and squeezed my thigh again reassuring me that he was only joking.

“I knew it, at least I only wanted you for sex, so no hard feelings?” I questioned playfully and started leaning in to kiss him when someone dropped into the booth opposite us.

“Hey guys!” A dorky South African cheered, too focused on the other two tagging along behind him rather than Byron and I’s almost-kiss.

“Hey bru,” Byron said as I sat back, a deep blush rising onto my cheeks. “I thought you guys were filming?” He questioned once the other two and settled down into the booth.

“And by your text Byron, I thought you were ‘just heading out to get milk’ even though I bought a full bottle last night.” Joe joked and settled down in between Caspar and jack.

“He was, and then I invited him to lunch.” I said quickly trying to cover up for him. “Just tagging along that’s all.”

“So you would have had lunch alone? That’s very unlike you Y/N.” Jack shot back with a cheeky smirk playing on his face.

“Why are you guys interrogating us?” I giggled and looked over at Byron who had the same baffled look washed over his face. “Byron and I are just having lunch.” I stated again hoping they would drop the topic.

“Well we’re just a little confused.” Caspar laughed causing the other two to look at each other knowingly like they knew about our whole plan.

I ignored them and started eating again, which I think threw them off. Joe cleared his throat and picked up a menu, “Can we join you though?” he sighed and looked at our half-eaten meals.

I looked over at Byron who had a smirk plastered on his face as he looked back at me, “Sure bru,” Byron chuckled and took my hand in his under the table. The boys ordered lunch and managed to prevent each other teasing Byron and I. It soon felt as if the other three had not even joined us for lunch, Byron shrugged off the fact that our closest friends were sitting just opposite us and carried on talking like we usually would with out them around. I replied cautiously, trying not to attract attention from the other three but they were all too focused on their lunch or own conversations to be fully aware of ours.

“So wanna go to Winter Wonderland Friday night?” Byron asked nonchalantly  just after he swallowed the last bite of his meal. “Just you and me.” He added.

“You are really testing the waters here Langley.” Something I only ever did call him when I was being serious, he knew he was pushing it but to be honest he did not want our relationship to be a secrete anymore.

He hated the way we had to sneak around our best friends just to get some alone time or how we had to ‘coincidentally’ meet up and to be fair there are only so many times you can ‘coincidently’ meet. I agreed with him, I hated it as much as he did. I hated that I couldn’t yell out to the whole world “Byron Langley is my boyfriend!”, because if I could I would. Even though we both wanted our feelings for each other to be known, we wanted to make sure it was serious and that we could handle the response from all the boys’ fans. At this point we just needed to be there for each other but it was getting more and more difficult to make excuses to see each other and make up reasons as to why were always being seen together.

He sighed heavily, “Maybe I want to test the waters Y/N.” the whole mood had shifted and there was a tension starting to form around us. “Don’t you?” he added bitterly.

The other three boys were starting to listen in to the conflict but Byron and I ignored them as we spat remarks at each other. “I don’t know why you’re in a bad mood with me.” I commented instead of answering his question.

“You were the one who is so concerned about them hearing us, I don’t really care if they hear me talking to you, but it’s fine, I understand if you don’t want to be associated with me.” He said and leaned back away from me.

“Don’t twist my words Byron.” I warned sternly.

“I’m not twisting your words Y/N, I’m just stating what you think of us, this.” He said gesturing between us.

I scoffed and stood up from my seat, “I’m going to go,” I said to Caspar, Joe and Jack. “Byron, when you’re ready do you want to come home so you can carry on telling me how shit I treat this relationship?”  a wave of shock and realization hit the other three sitting opposite Byron. They did not utter a word though, they did not know how to help the situation so they stayed silent as the conflict went back and forth. “So I’ll see you at home, or are you going to go sulk in your music room with a bottle of tequila and a shot glass, because that’s only going to make the situation wors-”

“Y/N call an uber for home, I’ll be there in five.” He interrupted, he was eerily monotonous which sent chills up my spine.

I was left speechless so I took my phone from the table and walked out onto the side walk as I called an uber. I watched through the restaurant’s window as he pulled out his wallet and gave Joe some money to cover the bill. I knew I took the argument too far, there was no way we were going to fix this fight easily, if I were to guess, this fight would probably get worse once we got to my place. I turned to face the road as I waited a few moments for the uber to show up. I jumped when Byron walked up beside me and sighed deeply. We remained silent until the uber pulled up in front of us, Byron stepped forward first and opened the door before stepping back and letting me get in first. He sat beside me brewing his thoughts and feelings, I didn’t dare say anything, I didn’t want to until I knew we were home. When we got to my flat block we got out and went up the elevator to my floor then down the hall to my place. No words were shared between us as we made our way to my flat.

He opened the front door and stood back holding it open for me step inside. I mumbled a thank you then walked over to the kitchen and dropped my bag onto the work top.

“What was that Y/N,” he was not shouting but his voice held a stern and disappointed tone, making it feel worse than being yelled at. I didn’t reply, I just looked down at the work top trying to think of a reasonable answer. “Why didn’t you just go home, you basically told them I’m an alcoholic and don’t tell me that I twisted your words. You make your feelings very evident Y/N and I was only saying what you were thinking.” He started getting angry again. I felt my throat tighten but I refused to let a tear fall. “You are always the one pushing me away for a hug or swatting my hand away. It’s really clear that you don’t want to be seen with me Y/N.”

“No,” I choked, tears were starting to blur my vision and I could feel my nose starting to run. “I want to be with you, I want to tell the world we’re together but it scares me. I mean I’ve seen everything Zoe and Alfie went through, it’s not always pretty Byron.” My voice strained as I tried not to cry but the tears threatened to spill at any moment.

He leaned against the kitchen work top, facing opposite me, he tugged on the ends of his hair in frustration and he let out a deep sigh. “Well isn’t that the point, to go through things together and be there for each other?” He sarcastically chuckled, “What irritates me more Y/N is that you’re trying to hide us from our friends and family too.”

That’s when the tears started to run, when I realized this could be our last conversation and that this could be the end of something beautiful. He turned away from me and walked to the window, he stared out onto the street with his back towards me. I could tell he was furious, he never turned his back to anyone unless he was trying to calm himself.

He chuckled again and stayed silent for a moment or two, “You call the shots now Y/N, say the words and I’ll leav-“

“I love you,” I said cutting him off, he turned around and stared at me. “I love you, Byron.” I said again after a moment of silence.

His face warmed as he stepped forward. He pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me. I cried into his chest, leaving wet marks on his shirt. He shushed me and pulled us toward the couch before collapsing on to it, I curled up into his lap and tried to calm my crying.

“I was scared of losing you,” I said between a sob. “I don’t want to lose you.”

He held me tighter and pressed a kiss on the top of my head, “You’re not losing me, you’ll never lose me. I’m right here, you’re okay.” I looked up at him, he brushed the hair out my face and wiped the tears of my cheeks with his T-shirt. “I love you too, Y/N/N.”