#brought to you by my crush on sandy and peter's blues cover album going so unnecessarily hard

[pineapplepond5]

looking forward to my spotify wrapped having an embarrassing amount of peter gallagher thanks to the o.c.

[djevsmev]

Episode 7: Check One-Who?

HELLO!

I hope you’re all keeping inside and keeping well.

It’s been a while since the last Vinyl Lockdown and the effects on the UK have been staggering. Without the weekly tunes and the accompanying thought-provoking blog to keep them entertained whilst inside, people have been going wild. WILD! Street parties, congas, anything to fill that void. Well, Big Nicola had a quiet word, said I should pull my finger out my rear end, and get the next episode up. For the good of the nation, you understand. No problem, says I. However, unlike FM BN, Vinyl Lockdown will not be giving an extra big shout out to the kids. They can, as Neighbours’ Henry Ramsay would have said circa 1989, rack off. Shove it.

And with that paragraph clearly showing why satire is so tricky to pull off, let’s begin.

SANDIE SHAW - LONG LIVE LOVE

Starting with a lovely old crackly one and a new discovery.

By now regular readers will all have come to know and love VL’s writing tone that sits somewhere between Loaded magazine, Ladbrokes adverts, and latter Clarkson Top Gear: we’re about Lads, Lads, Lads, Blue Wkd, double entendres, spewing in buckets because of all the Blue Wkd, laughing hilariously as you’ve pranked your mate and left him naked in a nest of fire ants, asking Johnny Foreigner where you can buy more Blue Wkd, and of course, the laydeez.

Well, I’m thrilled to be able to keep that standard up by telling you that not only is Long Live Love as delightful a tune as I remembered it being, but since googling to find the cover of this record, I have developed a massive crush on Sandie Shaw.

Those cheekbones could cut glass.

Stone cold hottie.

Wooft! Even for this blog, it’s all getting a bit racy! I’d better calm down, but next time I build an amphibious tractor to challenge my 2 sycophantic pals to a race, I’m going to call it Sandie, geddit? SANDIE! [Puts hand up for high-5]

Lads lads lads lads lads lads lads...

DELAYS - NEARER THAN HEAVEN

Right, stop mucking about and objectifying women. I really liked a lot of Delays stuff but this was my favourite. His voice and guitar always sounded great, a wee bit Bernard Butler, especially live. 

Me and a pal tried to see them live and it took about 3 attempts: I think the first time they were supporting and we were late. The second, they were playing Tut’s on a Sunday (we lived in Edinburgh) and they were so late we had to leave after 2 songs so we could get public transport home. Then we finally managed to see them.

I really thought that anecdote was stronger when I began telling it. Oh well. To make up for it, here’s a lovely interview with singer Greg Gilbert about his recovery from cancer and finding new creative outlets. It’s really nice.

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2019/jan/30/greg-gilbert-cancer-delays-paintings-peppermints-da-vinci

EVERYTHING BUT THE GIRL - I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT 

In all honesty I’m not a huge fan of Everything But The Girl, but someone I worked with used to put on an album of covers that they did and it really did change my view of them. Maybe just because it was songs I knew but their arrangements and Tracy Thorne’s vocals were lovely. I think they did versions of Love Is Strange, and Time After Time. Think there might have been a Boss song too. Anyway, I saw this so thought I’d give it a whirl and it’s just a great song done well. Well done them. I’m sure they’re delighted at my assessment.

SHEILA E - TOO SEXY

Sorry, everyone. This has been a catastrophe from start to finish. 

I wanted a usual, slightly pot-luck, 80s pick and when I saw the legend that is Sheila E, I thought I’d scored a goal. When I then saw that the B-side was called Too Sexy I though, we can’t very well pass up a song with a name like that by Sheila E of all people.

Turns out I probably should have.

I mean it’s fine. It’s fiiiiiine. But it it could basically be any generic funk instrumental from Prince’s career. Should have given Belle of St Mark a listen.

THEN I’m writing up this blog and I realise I’ve forgotten to take a photo of the sleeve so I just downloaded from the net. Which obviously doesn’t fit. “So, if you don’t have the photo, how do we even know this is in your collection? Mmmmm?” I hear you ask. Quite simply, it sounds like shit. Classic VL.

DONOVAN - CATCH THE WIND

The Scottish Dylan! Yeah, it’s very easy to take the piss out of Donovan as a wannabe, but I’d be quite happy with my musical contribution if I’d penned something this nice.

It’s a lovely song, and frankly if you’re going to nick ideas off people, nick them off the best people. And let’s be honest, we can be quite bad for tall poppy syndrome here, but the moment Sunshine Superman appears in a Wes Anderson film or something and becomes cool again, we’ll be holding him up as a legend!

DON’T CRITICISE DONOVAN, I’LL FIGHT YOU!

Ahem, sorry. Got a bit carried away.

TIGHT FIT - THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT

Right, is this pretty much considered to be a terrible song? Or a terrible version of a song? Or am I making that up? Maybe I’m wrong but my gut tells me that people hate this song, but I’ve always really liked it since hearing it as a kid in the 80s. Maybe that’s it: any taste, such that I have, is being blocked by a fug of nostalgia, but whatever the reason, I’ve enjoyed it before and hearing it again brought a smile to my face. God, I’m quite defensive this week.

THE RAPTURE - LOVE IS ALL

I couldn’t remember much about either this song or The Rapture before I put it on, except for the melody of the title lyric. You’ll probably understand why when you hear it. It’s really quite good but then the record doesn’t seem to go anywhere. It just sort of peters out. It hooks me in but then it leaves me dangling. It’s a cheeky dangler, that’s what it is. 

Maybe if The Rapture had taken a leaf out of Tight Fit’s book they would have been more memorable too.

They must be kicking themselves.

CRAIG MCLACHLAN & CHECK 1-2 - MONA

As I was photographing The Rapture 7″ I was looking at the sticker on the top left and wondering if I had a limited edition or something, which reminded of the time I put stickers on my vinyl as a kid and... HOLD THE BUS! I’ve not got a young Ev selection!

So here comes Craig McLachlan (Henry from Neighbours) and his version of Not Fade Away, sorry, his original composition “Mona”. I remember at the time he was keen to stress that pre-Neighbours he’d always been in his band Check 1-2 (formerly The Y-Fronts, if I remember correctly) and indeed he name “checks” them (Arf!) her on this single.

BUT WAIT, let’s look at the back cover, shall we:

What’s that photo? It looks a lot like the one on the front but... bigger.

It’s the same one, but look, there’s what we have to assume are Check 1-2! Not good enough to go on the front cover. Even though the only photo we have has you in it. No, you’ll just drag Craig down. You’re getting cropped out. You can appear on the back, and you’ll be grateful. 

Check 1-2: cropped out of history. Poor bastards.

It’s a shit business.

THE POINTER SISTERS - JUMP

Well, my battery’s low, as is my moral after McLachlan-gate, so all you need to know is, once again, we’re finishing on a banger. This should help the world seem OK again. It’s not, but this will help it seem that way, and frankly that’s probably all we can hope for right now..

Keep safe.x