#bret hopes he doesn't. Every Christmas.

[wrxsslin-hours]

random high school au, headcanons

Bret Hart x Shawn Michaels

a/n: The mind wanders when you're watching 90s wrestling clips and y2k highschool movies while drinking beer on christmas day

» Contrary to popular belief, Shawn isn't as much of an idiot as people think. However, that doesn't stop him from playing dumb if it means getting his crush—Bret Hart, the student body president and local band geek—to be his tutor.

» The start of their relationship began on the wrong foot. Bret, the student body president, and Shawn, a degenerate—it's only natural. Shawn had once spat gum into Bret’s hair, and in return, Bret purposely misplaced Shawn’s belongings in areas where they shouldn’t be.

"'Hey, has anyone seen my magazine?' Shawn shouted, annoyed, as Bret attempted to cut off the strings of gum entangled with the strands of his hair. Bret knew full well he had flushed the magazine down the toilet during recess behind Shawn’s back, but he wasn’t going to tell the blonde that.

» Their blossoming love all started when Shawn was assigned a seat behind Bret for a history class. Shawn was too busy passing notes with Hunter one day, and in the middle of writing about how Hunter has a huge nose, Shawn was called to stand up and answer a question. The problem is that Shawn didn’t know the question, let alone the answer to it. This was it; it was over for him. He’s too young and hot to get detention! And when all hope was lost, a ray of light shined down upon him from the heavens. Shawn’s eyes saw Bret’s hands trying to sign a number. And in a sudden burst of confidence, Shawn said, 'One nine one seven.' 'You mean 1917?' '. . . Yes?' '. . . Sit down, Michaels.'

» The biggest sigh of relief escaped from Shawn’s lungs. Thank God for small miracles. When class ended, Shawn tapped Bret on the shoulder with his pencil and said his thanks before disappearing into the hall with Hunter and Chyna in tow.

» Bret didn’t get strawberry-scented gum stuck in his hair anymore, and Shawn found a new copy of his lost magazine in his backpack.

» Shawn found out about Bret’s tutoring gig from his younger brother Owen. Shawn overheard the younger Hart mention it in the cafeteria, and Shawn immediately plopped his ass between Owen and some kid named Koko B. Ware who always managed to sneak in his pet parrot past the school guards. Owen knows about Shawn’s crush on his brother, and he didn’t tell his brother anything about it in favor of watching how it unravels itself.

“Your brother is tutoring?” “Yeah.” “How can I sign up for that?” “You know it would be easier if you just talk to him, right?” “Don’t be ridiculous, Owen.”

» Hunter doesn’t understand what Shawn sees in Bret (“You got a thing for glasses, don’t you, Shawn?”) and Chyna could care less.

» After convincing Owen to have Bret agree to tutor him (which cost Shawn twenty bucks and a packet of gum), Shawn finally had the chance to spend more time with Bret—as if he couldn’t do that by just talking to the Hart instead of losing money and dignity during the process. But ah, the trials and tribulations of love.

» They spend an hour in the library every day after class. Shawn would be the first person there, fidgeting in his seat in the corner of the library, waiting for Bret and thinking of any suave pick-up lines to say (No, he doesn’t end up saying them). Bret would appear 2 minutes late, on the dot, every time. Bret’s got his hair in a ponytail just in case Shawn has plans of painting his hair with his gum again.

» Shawn made the foolproof plan of pushing up his stupidity so Bret can spend more time tutoring him.  Bret immediately knows Shawn’s faking his idiocy from the get-go. There’s no damn way Shawn doesn’t know the multiplication table. Shawn is not amused.

“You know you could just say that you want to hang out more, right? “I can? *Insert that one emoji with big shiny eyes*”

» They start spending time together after their tutor sessions. Become great buddies. Yay! Shawn’s too scared to confess his love because he doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Bret. And he doesn’t know that Bret is also on the same boat. It’s ridiculous, quite frankly. They’re both messes and their friends are there to watch it all go down in real time.

» Shawn thinks if he learns to play an instrument, then Bret will like him more, and Bret strongly believes that if he dresses like Shawn more, then Shawn would find him attractive (“Trust me, Owen. I’m never wrong.” “Uh-huh.”) And that segues into Bret buying a leather jacket and Shawn failing to play the drums. It all accumulates into them confessing their feelings to each other at the same time one afternoon. They are both awfully embarrassed but thrilled afterward.

» Let this AU go in whichever direction you want. Brainrot is strong in this one, I fear.

[prettyboymichaels]

Psst

Shawn asking Bret for a bj by wearing a mistletoe belt

I feel this scenario would go something like this:

shawn, thrilled beyond belief, wearing nothing but a pair of boots, leather pants, and a belt with a sprig of mistletoe taped to the buckle: hey. hey bret. bret, hey. hey. bret h-

bret, who had been perfectly content under the covers of their bed reading a book, and had taken one look at shawn walking into their bedroom in this ensemble, which had been one look too many: michael shawn hickenbottom if you say what I think you're gonna say I can and Will make you sleep on the couch until the new year