#boyfriend. i think abt it and i get this weird lump of almost-anxiety in my stomach. like it's not quite anxiety but it's extremely uncomfy
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it's been a while since a vent
#rowan rants#listen. listen. my best friend has a boyfriend and idk how to deal with it. ive always been so scared of ppl leaving me in favor of their#romantic partner bc that's how our society is set up. and it's just so strange to me i literally don't know how to accept that she has a#boyfriend. i think abt it and i get this weird lump of almost-anxiety in my stomach. like it's not quite anxiety but it's extremely uncomfy#and idk what to do. my fear that im gonna be replaced is my thing that i need to work through but also. its not unfounded. but i cant#be like NO I'M UR FIRST PRIORITY bc that's fucked up and i dont wanna do that to people. but also i wanna be her first priority. i wanna be#someone's first priority but not romantically. im so lonely and im so scared ill be lonely forever#i know i wont be bc there are good things and good times ahead but it's so uncertain and i feel too small to try to deal with all this#i fucking hate amatonormativity. i fucking hate it. we're not meant to pair up it's so fucking stupid#uuuufhfhgfbxbbxbdhfjejieifhbfbfnzkkakrifhfuhrbvfbfnxmnxmzkskeoirutturufbfbcnfjjrndjfjeiriwodbcnfkdjsjdhfjrurieowjsjxnfbhfbfbfhfjcnfjtifjduf#i miss my siblings 😭😭😭#if you read this far im giving u a forehead kiss or cheek kiss or blowing u a kiss. whichever works best for u <3
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