#boy really said you're engaged to me and nobody else

[gachaparadise]

WE GOT ENGAGED?!?!

[thatspookyagent]

Dating Heimdall (Black!GN!Reader) would include...

Warnings: Typical assholery and bastard behaviour lmao otherwise none

a/n: First time writing for a video game franchise and I hope that y’all enjoy this! Heimdall is easily my favorite GOW character besides Freyr and Angrboda. There’s not much fanfiction out there for GOW: Ragnarok right now, let alone for Heimdall, and like none for a Black!Reader specifically. So this is me PUTTING that content out there in the void for someone to find, read, and share! Side note: I am yet again writing Black!Reader headcanons with a darker skinned!reader and 4 type hair!reader in mind unapologetically. <3

If you want to be tagged in any of my content, don’t be afraid to tell me via my ask box or through messages! Just remember to be clear about what specific kinds of content, characters, and fandoms you want me to tag you in or if you want to be put on my general tag list! I’m always looking to add more people and I’d be more than happy to add you (if you wish)! :3

If you were to describe Heimdall with just one word it would aggy lmfao

No really, he makes you want to kick both his ass and those grills in his teeth all the way to the Light of Alfheim

But regardless you fell for him because Reasons™

When you reflect upon why and how you did so, you can’t really come up with a definitive singular answer

Maybe it's because he treats you differently especially when it comes to teasing 

It’s more playful than brutal like he is with others and it gives you boy who pulled your hair back in kindergarten cause he secretly likes you vibes

Whenever Heimdall does tease you, his body language is different as well

Less condensing and try me and more goading and trying to vy for your attention kinda thing

That and he smiles relentless while he does it, like a genuine heartwarming smile not I’ll eat your kids and your pets smile

Just imagine him walking backwards slowly on his heels while swinging his arms and bringing them forward occasionally to make a soft clapping sound

He’s poking fun at you tripping earlier and thinking that nobody saw you when he absolutely did

Your comeback is to ask him why he was staring at you in the first place

He replies with “I just liked what I saw.”

You jab back with "If I only liked what I see now back."

That’s another reason why he really likes you, you always have a comeback to his remarks when most don’t

You really don’t take his comments lying down and actively engage in fun spirited banter with him whether you're starting or finishing it

While others shy away from it and avoid that man like the PLAGUE

To be fair his demeanor and vibe with you is MUCH less hostile with others so nobody wanting to be around him is very understandable lmao

Even then when there’s moments were Heimdall steps outta line (and there are), you don’t hesitate to push back and check him

He NEEDS a s/o who can do that cause otherwise Heimdall won’t read, understand, or internalize boundaries and will eventually continue to keep going

Those moments where you check him are usually answered by long periods of silence from Heimdall or curt nods, he knows your limits, and chooses to respect them

Partly because you do the same with him, which for you is mainly out of respect, and cause you like him

On another note, Gulltoppr is y’all’s child I said what I said

You were deathly scared of them at first cause who the hell smuggled a whole ThunderCat into Asgard hELLO???

But after awhile you warmed up to the battle cat since Gulltoppr can see just how much Heimdall cares for you and if you’re good enough for Heimdall, you’re good enough for them

Heimdall often scolds you for feeding Gulltoppr apples and cheese a lot but you also scold Heimdall for not giving enough treats to them cause how else do you remind them that they’re doing a good job protecting Asgard???

When he’s not looking you like to give Gulltoppr head pats and belly rubs cause they do NOT get enough of those in their life

You’ve managed to persuade Heimdall to snuggle with you and Gulltoppr while he reads on his breaks and you bet that there’s even more cheese and apples involved in that

Now onto some stuff that’s more Black!Reader specific-

This man is a bit OBSESSED with your hair don’t @ me !!!

If your hair is longer, especially long enough to be in box braids or have extensions in, he will be in total and complete awe at them

Catch him staring at your hair whenever you’re in the Asgardian mess hall together

At some point the staring gets so frequent that you sorta call him out on it and he’ll just...freeze

Later on when you two are more alone he’ll go “So...how does THAT work?” and motion towards your head

Sure Heimdall braids his own hair from time to time but his braids are different in many ways

Speaking of Heimdall and braids, you bet your ass you braid his hair stop playin !!!

You’re kind of a whizz at it and he doesn’t let ANYONE touch his scalp so you’re fumbling with a gold mine here

Heimdall only trusts you to mess around with his golden locs and will only really allow you to see him with his hair down OR messy

Speaking of hair down, he’s down for you to do or help him in his hair care routine lmao

Washing it, brushing it, putting some kind of good smelling product in it, you name it

Also if you leave your hair care products just lying around he WILL sniff and try them out

SO if you’ve got some expensive stuff that’s really for your hair type usage only, you better hide it better next time

For revenge you can put his hair in cornrows and then watch it fall out the next day sksksk

Now back to your hair, even if you hair is short or you use wigs, he will still be intrigued by it

Imagine Heimdall being dumbfounded at your waves like WHy is the ocean on your head and HOw?

He will return the hair care time favour and learn how to take care of your hair if you wish

Will steal your bonnets, durags, and head scarves BEWARE

He claims that it was just “lying around” and that he needs to protect his hair too <3

You roll your eyes and just make sure to order more protective hair fabric for the both of you

If you ask him if he has any design requests, anything with gold ornate on it will suffice (similar to his outfit that he wears)

That way y’all can tell your stuff from one another’s and he can color coordinate with his own natural hair color

Also he WILL throw at you and or remind you to put on a bonnet, durag, or head scarf if you aren’t wearing one before you go to bed

Something else that he admires about you is definitely how different colors of clothing make your skin tone stand out

Heimdall always stands out honestly due to being albino and having gold teeth like even for an Aesir God

It admittedly is different and a bit unfamiliar for him to see someone with darker skin and textured hair

Though don’t get him wrong, he welcomes it with open arms

Especially whenever the two of you are in bed together, cuddling, and just lying there together

He likes to have the windows open and have you on whatever side of the bed is facing that particular window

Cause it means that when he wakes up before the sun rises, he gets to watch the sun come up, and bounce light off of your melanin <3

He will absodoodley lay with you in bed all day (for as long as he can get away with it) while he brushes his hands against certain parts of your skin that are being lit up by the sun

He’ll only get up to get you some food or shower, basically basic needs until he has no choice but to get up cause he’s The Watcher of Asgard™ n all that

You know that his love for you has to run DEEP if he’s slacking off on watching Asgard cause he’s too busy giving you the attention that he deserves

And his love does indeed run deeper than a Jotunn’s ass crack for you truly if Odin doesn’t really approve of his relationship with you and he still actively decides to continue it anyways knowing this

Regardless of what other people think, he knows where his love lies, with him every morning and night, in front of sunny windows while he caresses and admires them

[snickerdoodlles]

So interested in this so 📓 here.

😂❤.

i don't talk about it much on main, but i fucking adore Prapai/Sky's jealousy kink. i loooove me a good jealousy kink. Sky and Prapai love being possessive of each other as much as they love being possessed. Sky really said "i completely trust you, i just also like getting mad at you when your exes are annoying and fucking you over it" and Prapai really went "yes please, please use me any and every way you wish especially like this." WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

things i'm also immensely in love with: Sky doesn't think he's worth love, but then gets liberally drowned in affection and care from Prapai and soaks it up like a sponge. and equally, Prapai is so fucking excited to devote his everything to Sky. i have cried to great lengths in DMs about how Prapai is a very caring guy and obviously an excellent hookup, but...nobody really wants him for him. he has a lot of past hookups eager for another, but so many of them express extreme disbelief at the fact that Prapai likes being a total malewife when in fact Prapai is so eager to shower Sky with affection extensively and enjoys doing so immensely.

...i was going somewhere with this.

so! Prapai! my sweet darling boy. he has the vibe of someone who's always been very affectionate, but it was not always welcomed. not in a bad way, just that the people usually seeking his company don't like when he drives two hours for stewed eggs or showers them with flowers three days in a row. they might like it for a few days as a fun hookup thing, but its always on a (short) time limit.

so imagine one day, Prapai and Sky are on a date and one of Prapai's past hookups stops by to say hi. canonical jealous brat Sky is already planning out how he'll put this guy in his place now and fuck Prapai about it later, but then the ex-hookup wiggles his eyebrows at Sky and jokes how he'll have to bolt after lunch before the smothering begins.

and Sky's brain does a complete record scratch. total bluescreen, hackles raised, doesn't-realize-he's-hissing because fucking WHAT!? Prapai is the BEST BOYFRIEND in the entire WORLD, this man should be on his knees WEEPING Prapai is Sky's and not his, no one is even half as lucky as Sky is because none of them have a Prapai who showers them in love and affection and tiny kisses because there's only one Prapai in the entire world and he is SKY's.

Sky doesn't bother responding because honestly nothing can convey the depths of his contempt at that remark as well as his best pissed bitch face, he is wrapping himself in Prapai's arms and glaring at the ex-hookup until he goes the fuck away. then Sky rants that that man is a FOOL, why did you ever sleep with someone so stupid P'Pai, don't you have TASTE--

Prapai, grinning madly and holding back tears: i thought you didn't like when people hit on me

Sky: did you want him to hit on you! only i get to hit on you! why do you even want someone stupid like him to hit on you--

Prapai, clutching him: i don't!!!! i only want my Sky~

Sky, clutching back: you're embarrassing, i'm punishing you for this later

Prapai: :D! :D! :D! :D! :D!

tl,dr; Prapai is in love with Sky's prickly bitchiness, Sky is equally in love with Prapai's effusive affection, they engage in extensive amounts of PDA showing off just how much they adore each other at the expense of everyone else ❤

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

[rickie-the-storyteller]

The Boondocks

Who else is a fan of this show? I can't be the only one lol.

There is so much to love about this show. Like the theme song, for example... plus, it's so funny and smart, and just really well done. I haven't been a fan for that long (just started properly getting into it nearly a year ago), but I feel like I've learnt so much while watching it... it really depicts life and society and the media in such an engaging and effective way, while also poking fun at stereotypes. Especially for black people (African Americans in particular, since it's an American show).

Plus, it's funny. I know I've said that before, but I needed to say it again.

And the characters are all so great... especially the main three (the ones in this video). This was what this post was supposed to be about. Character analysis time!

So in case you're not familiar with this show, it follows these three main characters: Huey (older brother, the one with the afro), Riley (younger brother, the one with the cornrows) and Robert Freeman (the grandad). There isn't really an overall "main character" - the show kind of revolves around the three of them (although Huey is the main narrator of the show, so we mainly hear his thoughts on things - I think he is seen as the main protagonist of this series because of this).

Anyway, these three all live together. We don't know anything about the parents of these two kids lol (I guess it's not all that important). And they're all so different personality-wise, so they don't always get along.

The central premise of this show is that these two kids are from the hood (I'm pretty sure they used to live in Chicago, but I could be wrong), and their grandad moved them to Woodcrest - a predominantly white suburban area. Which is obviously a completely different environment from what they are used to lol. And in the early episodes, this is a big thing that the kids kind of struggle with. I remember in the first episode, they did nothing but complain and argue with their grandad about how much they hated the fact that they moved there, and that they never asked to move there, and why the heck did they move there and blah blah blah (especially Huey lol).

And another thing is, because it's a totally new place, you need to adapt, right? I mean, that's kind of a rule in life. You wouldn't talk to your parents the same way you talk to your friends, and you wouldn't treat your boss the same way you treat a family member, either. The thing about these kids is that they don't adapt lol. Not really. This kind of makes grandad mad as a result, as the whole point of the move was to "expand their horizons".

So yeah, things were rough at the start. And they kind of continue to stay rough for the duration of the series lol (character development isn't a big thing in this show, it's kind of episodic in that sense). I think they get used to the way things are here, but nobody really changes or grows or learns anything.

But in spite of all of their conflict (not just in regards to their move to the suburbs, but in general. I mean grandad often jokingly (?) states/implies that he hates having them around lol. I remember this one time he was eating out with someone, and they suggested to take the leftover food home to share with the boys, and he responded by saying, "If you feed them, they'll never leave." I mean, wow😂), we do get a lot of signs that this family does love and care about each other a lot. One of my favourite signs is actually in this clip I've shared with you.

It's this scene where Huey comes and tells his grandad and Riley about his nightmare (don't mind the weird photo positions lol). They all share their thoughts about it. Grandad gives a few words of comfort and then goes back to taking photos.

On the surface it doesn't seem like that big a deal. But I was thinking about it lately, and it made me realise something...

Robert says this: "What's wrong with you? Why the long face?"

Again, not that big a deal. Until you remember the fact that Huey kind of always has a long face lol. That's his whole thing (aside from reading and being the smart one lol). He never smiles. He is literally described in the show as having a "permanent scowl." So he never looks happy. He always kind of looks as if something's wrong.

The fact that his grandad can tell that there is something wrong with him actually speaks volumes. Like, he can tell the difference between Huey actually being upset about something and Huey just being himself lol. That shows how much he knows his grandkids... and it shows how much he cares about them, in spite of him always saying otherwise. And then he goes out of his way to help cheer him up...

This family loves each other so much. It's beautiful <3

[midnghtprentiss]

paper rings - robin buckley

pairing(s): robin buckley x hopper!fem!reader

summary: you decided to marry your girlfriend with paper rings.

warnings: none, pure fluff and queer rights for my girl robs. english is not my first language.

a/n: i hate this idea while listening to a brazilian song and i tought that i needed to fo this before i cry myself to sleep.

Robin was close to have a stroke, she walked around that room so many times that Steve had to gave her something to calm down.

"Robin." He called her making her look at him with eyes full of tears. "No need to panic, you know she's not gonna run right?"

"What if she gave up, like, right now? I mean she can wal away and nobody will see because she's smart and good convincing people to do what she wants, in a good way, alright? But if we think straight she was the one who said yes when i asked and she plan this whole wedding in a years because she wants to get married in Hawkins in spring because the flowers are prettier and I'm talking like crazy, right?" The woman finally sit down, passing her hand through her hair.

"Robs, she's not running. Dustin check on her, she's relaxed and not crazy like you." He lied because he knew she was about to cry.

"Alright. Thanks, I'm just nervous. Do you believe that woman is about to spend the rest of her life with me? Suddenly forever seems pretty short."

Robin was so terrified of the idea of love someone else. After Vickie broke her heart, she kinda gave up, and then she met you.

It was a winter day and she takes Eddie to the hospital cause he fell and broke his arm. The doctor who attend him was you. She lost her words when saw you hit that conforting smile.

"I'm used to take care of children with this injuries but that's pretty funny." You said doing an examination in Eddie's arm, making him laugh.

"I fell because... taking care of children while they play a game is dangerous."

"So, how long have you two been together?" You ask make them both laugh.

"We're not a couple. Just friends, platonic with a capital P." Robin rush her words looking at you.

"That's good to know." You said preparing the things to help the boy next to you.

After that you two became close friends and when you see were dating, moving together and engaged. Now you're about to seal the deal.

"Ready?" Your dad asks while he watches you. "I never tought i'll be giving you away."

"Dad I'm not going anywhere. I will always be your favorite person in the world." You gave him a tight hug and whisper to him. "I won't tell Joyce and El, promise."

Your dad was the first person besides your sister to know you like girls. He was so chill with that and still the most supportive person in the world. He would do anything to make you and Robin happy, and he made it clear everytime you two visit him and Joyce.

"Need to take you to the altar right now, hm?" He whisper giving you a sweet look before slowly make his way through the garden.

You plan the wedding for the last year. Robin was busy working as a music teacher and you decided to plan in your days off and the quiet shifts in the hospital. Robin was really happy about the choices but didn't want to make the decisions cause "That's a lot to think about" "Robin these are flowers."

The wek before was crazy, you go pick up your dress, see the rest of decorations and make sure everything was in control. Robin in the other hand was calm, she repeat to herself that everything was going to be alright and nothing is going wrong. You loved her even more in that moment, because she was aware that if her do something crazy you were going to lose all your shit.

You hold your dad's arm and breath before the piano version of your song by Elton John stars playing. You walked through the grass with shaking legs and when you finally see her, you stop. Robin was there with a black suit. She looked like a dream. She was crying and heart racing. All for you. Because of you.

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that put down in words.

"Hi" she whispers when you met her.

How wonderful life is while you're in the world.

"Hi" you whisper back holding her hand a little bit tighter.

You two don't have to say one word to understand each other but you knew she was nervous and she knew you were happier than ever.

"I met Robin in the craziest day of my life. She was in the hospital with Eddie and the moment I put my eyes on her, I knew that she was my future. I was so nervous that when I get out of that room I breathe again. Robin, my dearest girlfriend, my son, my moon and all of my stars. You are more than you could ever imagine. You are the reason I wake up early every morning to do breakfast cause I love your morning voice. You are the reason I listen to weird bands. You are the reason I choose to be a better woman. I didn't know a lot about love, I mean, I have my father and Joyce for that but I wanted to feel what they feel and now I do. I feel safe, loved, respected, wantend and happy. I want to have everything with you, a big house, a garden wedding, a few cats and maybe a dog, a children, a life. I like shining things but I'd marry you with paper rings all the time. I love you and choose to love you everyday until I die."

Robin was speechless, she was warm and crying like a baby. You are the love of her life and the feeling of being loved by you was more than enough.

"I try to make a speech but I couldn't because my head goes faster than me so I decided to nake it simple. You are a lot and I wondered if I was enough to deserve your love because you love everyone around you, you care for all of us and that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. You push me to be someone, to be more than a person with a ordinary life. Every day with you is better cause you're there. You're there to hold my hand, dry my tears and to listen to me talking nonstop. My future is better because you in it. I love when you're concentrate in your world because every time I watch you doing that, I realized that I want to be in that. I want to be in you bed, in your hard and easy days, in the songs you sing, the notes you write, the plans you made. I can't give you peace, but I can offer you a great life with adventures, laugh and a few other things I shouldn't say out lout. I love you and will keep loving you forever and I promise to fight for us every day."

You gave her a hug, sobbing and smiling at the same time. That woman is the love of your live. She will always be the reason you're happy. She was your wife now, and no one can make you change your mind.

She was yours and your hers. Nothing else matters.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 1*

**Note** Thank you to @chasingeverybreakingwave for this amazing cover!

Alright so I don't know if you've been following the slight drama of today, but I had an idea to make a sequel to "Black Magic", involving a "version" of Raul Esparza. But I got an anon that said the idea sounded icky, since it's basically RFP. But I thought in my heart the way I wrote it he wasn't really the ACTUAL Raul Esparza, I changed attributes him and what not-- anyway, long story short they still thought it was icky and since NOBODY ELSE would answer me, I decided that losing readers over an idea I had wasn't worth it.

SO that brings us here: Still a sequel to "Black Magic", BUT the doppelganger is... Nevada Ramirez! [From Trouble In The Heights]

Premise: Nevada's thugs see you and Rafael get engaged in the park and send a picture to Nevada, who realizes they have the exact same face. To which he immediately decides he is going to use for his full advantage....And that includes getting you.

Ah?? Ahhhh??? Do you love it? Do you hate it?

WELL I wrote a prototype chapter, and I like it. SO I'm putting it out to you. I hope the anon sees this, LOOK WHAT I DID FOR YOU ANON. Lulz.

IF you haven't read "Black Magic" I don't suppose it will TOTALLY ruin the story for you, but it would really be better if you read it first. Which you can, right HERE!

If you haven't seen "Trouble In The Heights", all you need to know is that Nevada Ramirez is a very, very evil man. Also so fucking sexy holy shit. Really that's it. You're caught up.

NOTE/WARNING/DISCLAIMER: This story contains situations/mentions of abuse, and sexual assault. Read at your own discretion.

PART 2

Alright here we go!

Tag List

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------------------------------

You were walking towards the exit of Central Park hand in hand with your now fiancée, totally oblivious to the world around you. All that mattered was you and him, you had worked so hard and been through so much, you just wanted a night to yourself. Chloe and Maria had run off, you had thanked the Charmed sisters and Harry, and now you and Rafael were so engrossed with each other, you didn’t notice a few rough looking men hanging around the fountain that you came from.

“Ay, isn’t this food from “Comida de Los Dioses?” One of them asked the other two while they picked up and dug through the food you had ditched when Rafael started his “musical number”.

“Si, I’d know those frijoles anywhere, the old woman knows how to pound ‘em,” One of the other two high fived the other one with a smirk for the double entendre.

“Who out here in the clase alta would know about food from el barrio?”

“Santa mierda, mira por allí!” One of them hit the other two, pointing to you and Rafael canoodling like teenagers.

“¿Qué diablos?” Another one stared in shock. “Nevada wouldn’t--”

The third one pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

“Nevada? Donde estas?”

The other two glanced at you, then back to the one on the phone anxiously as he continued to speak to someone on the phone.

“There’s a vato here in Central Park, y juro he looks like your clone,” After a second he hit one of the other ones. “Ay he says send him a picture,”

He pulled out his phone and discreetly snapped a photo of you and Rafael kissing in the moonlight and texted it to the person on the phone.

After about a minute, the one on the phone was nodding along with the conversation of the other person.

“Mmmhmm…Yeah his little puta is pretty cute, No voy a mentir,” He chuckled, nodding at you while licking his lips.

“‘Vada says we need to find out who that pendejo is,” The man instructed the other two as he hung up with “Vada”.

“Ay, let’s have some fun then boys,” Another one cracked his knuckles with an evil smile.

-----

You had almost made it to the edge of the park when Rafael noticed the three cholo’s trailing you, mischief in their eyes. He walked faster, putting a protective arm around you.

“Baby, wha-- what’s wrong?” You gave him a concerned look as you saw him checking behind the two of you nervously.

“Don’t panic Y/N, but I think those three cholo’s are trailing us,” He whispered to you.

“Oh god,” You glanced back at them. They were walking faster, and their smiles grew more evil.

“Hey!” One of them called as they caught up to you, the one speaking stood in front of you. “Where are you going so fast, ese? On such a pretty night?”

“With such a pretty lady…” Another one licked his lips as he eyed you up and down.

Rafael instantly stood in front of you, his eyes narrowed. “No sabes con quién estás tratando, idiota.” He growled.

“Ohhhhh, vato’s got some spirit in him, doesn’t he?”

“Hey he’s the fucking ADA of New York asshole, he’ll have you in jail so fast--” You tried standing up to him, but all three of them started laughing hysterically.

“Baby just let me do the talking, okay?” He whispered angrily.

“The ADA, eh?” One of them gave the other two a knowing smile. They knew Nevada could definitely use that to his advantage.

“Yeah, and I also used to fight with the Diablo’s, pendejo,” Rafael growled, making them laugh even harder.

“Did you now?” One of them laughed. “You think the Diablo’s mean shit to guys like us?”

“Guys like you?” Rafael raised an eyebrow at them.

“Let me guess, you grew up in el barrio--what, South Bronx?” The same man turned his head to one side, trying to size Rafael up.

“By St. Mary’s,” He nodded.

“Ooooh, big boy,” He said mockingly while the other laughed.

“I bet you never dared to go to the Heights, eh ese?” The words falling out of one of the man’s mouths made Rafael’s eyes flicker with fear. That was making you even more nervous.

“We need to go. Now,” He whispered to you sternly.

“Don’t worry, abogado, we don’t want to hurt you or your pequeña dama,” One nodded at you.

“What do you want?” Rafael growled.

“We just wanted your name, ese,” One answered.

“....And why do you want that?” He glared at the man.

“Ah, well it’s always good to know the constituents of our fine city, don’t you agree Rico?” He nodded to one of the others.

“Big word for a cholo,” Rafael smirked; causing one of the others came from behind and popped him over the head.

“Rafa!!” You screeched and grabbed his head, trying to assess the damage. He winced in pain as the three cholos laughed cruelly.

“Didn't they teach you manners in your fancy lawyer school, abogado?” One of them sneered.

“Rafa, Felix. Didn’t you hear the puta?” Rico pointed at you.

“DON’T call her that,” Rafael growled harder, his fists tightened.

“Just tell us your name, and you can run on home and play house with your little chiquita,”

“His name is Rafael Barba, okay? Can we please go--” You pleaded with them.

“Y/N,” Rafael looked at you with shock and betrayal in his eyes as the three cholos laughed in amusement.

“Ah, gracias mi reina,” Felix bowed to you overdramatically as the other two nodded and ran off into the darkness.

Rafael threw his hands over his head, then turned to you with fire in his eyes. “WHY would you do that?!”

“Wha-- They were going to hurt us!” You looked at him in disbelief.

“They weren’t going to do anything, Y/N,” He barked. “They’re not stupid,”

“Well, I mean they seemed pretty--” You half laughed, trying to make light of the situation but Rafael was not having it.

“This isn’t funny, Y/N!” He continued to yell at you. It felt a lot like when he was under Olivia’s voodoo, but this was all him. And you didn’t like it.

“What the hell, Rafa? Why are you being like this?” You asked him with hurt in your eyes.

“Those guys are from The Heights,” He sighed, still running his hands nervously through his hair.

“The Heights?” You looked at him curiously.

“Washington Heights?”

“I don’t…” You shook your head. You were from a small town in Jersey, you were hardly schooled in every neighborhood in the City.

“Look it’s like-- if you were scared of the place I took you to meet Maria at, you’d be ten times more nervous in The Heights. As you should be,” He explained.

“So it’s just a bad neighborhood?”

“It’s more than that, carino!” He threw his hands up in frustration.. “It’s like...a lawless country over there. Actually it’s worse than lawless, their law is criminal law,”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s run by a drug kingpin, Nevada Ramirez,” He explained. “Some slick, super smart, super elusive prick. Nobody’s ever seen him face to face, not anyone I know of anyway. He always has his cabrones out doing his dirty work.”

“So why were they all the way out here…?” You looked at him in confusion.

“I don’t know!” He yelled.

“Well why did that want your name--”

“I don’t know!!” He yelled again. “But I damn sure wasn’t going to just GIVE it to them,”

“Well I’m sorry I just--” You kept trying to talk but Rafael was in his own world.

“What would Nevada want with me? I don’t bother him, I’m not even looking for him!” He paced back and forth.

“...Do you think he’s going to come after you?” You asked softly, making him stop pacing and look at you.

“I’m not worried about me, mi vida,” He took your face in his hands. “Don’t you get it? I’m scared they’re going to come after you,”

“Me? What would they want with me? I’m not even a lawyer!” You laughed like it was the craziest idea in the world.

“It just-- It doesn’t make sense,” He began to pace again but you stopped him.

“Look, Rafa--” You took his hands. “Maybe...maybe they were just bored, maybe they wanted to know where you got that suit!”

“....I still don’t like it,” He looked off in the direction the cholos had run. “I’m putting a security detail on you,”

“Wha-- Rafael come on,” You rolled your eyes. “How am I supposed to go to class with some big bodyguard dude following me around? Do you want me to get shunned?!”

“I don’t care!” He put both of his hands on your shoulders. “Either you let me get you a bodyguard, or you’re staying by my side 24/7,”

“Oh my god-- Okay DAD,” You scoffed, but the horrified look on Rafael’s face made you realize the significant age gap between the two of you may have not made for the ideal ‘dad’ insult.

“I mean-- Oh you know what I meant,” You looked at him apologetically. “Rafael please, I can take care of myself,”

“I just-- I don’t want to lose you, mi amor,” He pressed his forehead against yours. “I just got you back,”

“I know baby, but look-- now you’ll have me for the rest of our lives!” You held up your engagement ring donning your hand with a huge smile.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a smile. “We were in the middle of celebrating that, were we not?”

“We were,” You nodded happily as he took your hand in his again. He still eyed the streets warily as he helped you into the town car that was going to take you somewhere to celebrate.

------

Meanwhile

“Rafael Antonio Barba,” Nevada Ramirez read on his phone. “The Assistant District Attorney of New York City,”

“Dios mio Vada--” A busty, barely dressed woman hanging on his lap gasped as she too saw the screen. “That vato has your face!”

“That he does, amante,” He smirked, now looking at the photo Felix had sent him of the two of you.

“And we are going to take full advantage of that,”

[heresathreebee]

That G-D Ring of Yours

High Fidelity’s Robyn Brooks X Female reader

Summary: You seek comfort from your neighbor Rob

Masterlist

There's probably gonna be a part 2

Word count: 2.5k words

Warning(s): +15 | implied cheating, internalized homophobia, heterosexism, author and Rob swearing, no hate to polyamorists but major hate to bad faith players, shameless self insert, no beta, barely edited, long as fuck I'm so sorry

Author's note: I'm having anxiety for no discernable reason and my brain has decided this is ideal fuel for a fic, so please enjoy. EDIT: ha ha yeah still anxious but we're doing stuff about it

-------------------------------------------------------

"-- And she just touched my hand by accident and I just felt this–  this spark between us…" 

It was so sweet how he was talking about it. Or at least it would be were this not your fiancé explaining how he had been seeing another person behind your back. Had you rushed into things with him? Gotten hitched after three months because of familial pressure to settle down and start your family? Quite possibly.

But it didn't make that stabbing in your gut hurt any less. 

You had been a little gung-ho from date number 1, but he had been right there with you the whole time. Date number 2 happened the following weekend and then you just kept seeing each other more and more until before you knew it you had been introduced to each other's extended families and announced your engagement on Valentine's Day. 

You started to suspect something was amiss on Sunday, when you were braiding your hair on the bed and he had gone to take a shower. He accidentally set his phone screen aside with a text chat still open. Thinking nothing of it (he had already told you he was talking to Mark about getting drinks tonight), you looked at the name and saw it belonged to a woman you had never heard of before. Your immediate reaction was 'she must be a new coworker or a cousin,' but then you glanced again and saw the text conversation mirrored the same kind of ‘sentiments’ he texts you. 

The dirt burned into your brain for eternity: 

You had looked away then. You were actually not going to say anything at all to him that night– had planned to bring it up after Tuesday dinner with your auntie's family, but something came up. It turns out that Jessabelle also frequented the same Starbucks as you (and she's your age, not a teen like you worried). You can't even find it in you to be mad at her since it seemed like she had no idea who you were when she showed you the picture of her date at a baseball game. You tried not to puke as you asked for her number and to send her that picture "for her contact profile." 

You hadn't heard a word your fiance had said since the beginning of the phone call and you cut him off with some excuse you barely remember. You tossed your phone carelessly onto the couch and laid back on the cushions in defeat. What now? 

You weren't really a drinker or a smoker, and you didn't exactly have friends who would be supportive right now. You could hear them now, your family too– asking you what you did wrong, telling you to just forgive him or how to get even, or simply saying 'well what do you expect? Boys will be boys.' 

Maybe… no, you definitely need to get this off your chest before you do something stupid like pretend to forget about it. You had a bad habit of that because you tend to fall fast and hard. Perhaps your neighbor could give you some advice. 

Thank the Lord for fire escapes. Rob lived on the floor beneath you, always playing something good from her huge collection of vinyl records. You've told her at least a hundred times before if she played nothing but Phil Collins for the rest of eternity, you could die happy. You crossed your fingers and hoped you weren't being weird or invading her privacy. 

Thankfully, she seemed to be expecting you. She even motioned that the latch was undone and waved you inside. Ok the second wine glass made your face grow hot. 

"I'm not interrupting am I?" 

Rob gave you a warm smile. "I could hear you pacing around your kitchen for about an hour. Was about to come and get you actually." 

She pressed the glass into your hand and you made an effort not to grimace. Rob liked her drinks cheap and strong and she never held back. You tried a sip just to be polite, and she snorted at the face you pulled. 

"That's right, you like that sweet stuff. What's it called again?" 

"Stella Rosa," you mumbled, grateful when she takes the glass back and hands you a water to replace it. 

"Favorite flavor," she asked looking at her phone. 

"Uh… the peach and the rosé. They're all pretty good, not gonna lie." 

"OK, take this, grab a blanket from the hall closet, and tell me what's going on." 

You curled up on Rob's couch and put your feet up. There were piles of records all over the place, empty beer cans and a pizza box or two on the coffee table. Your neighbor tapped away at her phone screen before silencing it and slipping it in her back pocket. She gave you a minute or two to speak up, sipping her drink like you two had all night. Which actually you did as you did not want to see your fiancé right now. 

You felt two fingers gently tap your forehead. "Come on, dreamer, tell me what's going on in that head of yours." 

You swallow the lump in your throat. "I feel a little over dramatic saying my life is about to fall apart." 

Rob raised her eyebrows at you. "Damn, OK." 

You rush to correct yourself– explain your weird sentiment in more detail but you end up just vomiting words until your voice is hoarse. 

"I mean– like– like it's not falling apart per say or whatever– I… the rest of my life is fine its just my relationship that's screwed. Which I guess I'm more worried about because it's gonna screw up all my other relationships for a while too– dang it, let me start over–" 

"Babe! Slow down. Breathe." Rob switched drinks with you and against your better judgement you took a sip. Oddly enough it did calm you down. "So… it's your fiancé, right? What did he do?" 

You stared at her trying to unscramble your thoughts. "He… I found out he was kind of... dating another person. After I found out, he tried to explain that he didn't think I would mind–" 

Rob barked, "let me guess: he didn't think you were exclusive? Pull the Main Chick, Side Chick schtick? Tried to claim 'polyamory' after he got caught?" 

Two and two clicked together at last. "Yeah… yeah, he did!," you scoffed, "and it's not like it didn't ever come up in conversation: we spent our third date talking out our, like, sexualities and fantasies and fetishes and shit. If he was polyamorous, wh- why wouldn't he have brought it up then?" 

"That is so fucked." 

You took a deeper draft of her wine, coughing before setting it aside. Up until now, you've been numb. Now there's this wave of anger boiling up to the surface and you hear yourself getting louder. Rob doesn't flinch but she does give you this look of empathy unlike anything you've seen before. 

"If he– if he would have just asked me, I would have told him it was fine. My family does shit like that all the time: nobody bats an eye! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, he wouldn't have been so freaking sneaky about it. He literally lied, Robyn!" 

You whipped around and for a brief moment you knew you looked crazy. "He said he was going out for drinks with his guy friend, but he was making plans to go to a baseball game with a girl I've never heard of! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, or if he 'thought I would understand,' then why would go out of his way to lie about who he was with?" 

Someone buzzed Rob's door and she left you on the couch momentarily, coming back quickly with two bottles of your favorite wine. "Damn girl, these are kinda bougie: Peach or Rosé?" 

"I--"you choked, "Robyn you didn't have to–" 

"Peach it is!" She unscrewed the caps and handed you the whole freaking bottle of white, downing the last of her merlot and getting a fresh glass for you. 

You felt a little guilty she had spent money on you. But then again it had been her choice. If she didn't want you there, Rob wouldn't have let you in in the first place. Maybe you were just a tinsy bit worried you shouldn't be here. 

You and Rob took a break from talking to put on music and get a little tipsy. It came much easier with the help of the Stella Rosa, though Rob initially complained it was 5.5%, she did get accustomed to the sweetness pretty fast, and after consuming half the bottle, realized it was a little easier to get carried away with a drink like this. She admitted it was her first time trying rosé and now she was hooked. Eventually you started talking again, just spilling your guts out with no filter anymore. 

"I really think I just hate myself," you said cuddling the cool glassware. "When I found out, I wasn't even thinking of it as a betrayal of my trust– it felt like I was trying to come to terms with it so I could continue with the relationship. Not because it would make me happy but because… I don't know… it's what everybody else wants me to do. They don't even know about it and I was fully prepared not to tell them even though they'd want me to marry him whether they knew or not." 

Rob barked a laugh of surprise. "Doh-K!" 

"What?" 

"Nothing, nothing…" she said, "keep going." 

You stared off into the middle distance and leaned into her side. She was a tiny bit warm despite her lithe figure. Made you want to throw your blanket over her shoulders and share your greater warmth. 

So you did (you're not great at acting out your desires but this is nice!)

"It's just easier," the words left your mouth unbidden, "I don't even know what that means, but it's true. I don't want to marry him anymore but I don't want to break it off. Not marrying Fiancé means disappointing my family. It means having to find an entire new man to marry sooner rather than later because I'm already 'behind' and lowering my already low expectations. 

"It's not gonna make me happy, but I just think it's easier to keep this wedding going because at least I won't have to find somebody new who might not be as good for me just because I didn't want him. Another man won't make me happy so there's no reason to drop him... except that I don't want him." 

Rob's brow furrowed. "Are you saying it's easier for you to please your family than it is to be happy?" 

"Yes? I– no, I– … I don't know," you sigh. "I guess you could say my priorities are a little… mismanaged." 

"Sure, you could say that." Rob wrapped her arms around your shoulders and you inhaled the scent of her soap and cigarettes. "What if you tried… like… not doing that anymore...? You just said you do whatever your family wants you to do. So, just like do what makes you happy for a change." 

It really does sound so simple the way she puts it, doesn't it? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're not dependent on them for money or security or happiness for that matter. So... why has your whole life been centered around pleasing them? 

"I think… I think I've never really sat down and thought about what makes me happy," you admitted. "I think it's just been that way forever and I might have been too scared to try anything else." 

Rob hummed. "Are you still scared now?" 

Are you? You look into her eyes and ask yourself a question that has never crossed your mind with such depth. You used to be scared– but what is it about your happiness that you are so afraid of? OK, let’s start a little simpler: what are things that make you happy? 

“I like…” you swallowed, trying to break down the barriers you’ve built years and years ago. “I like… coffee. I like… short skirts. I like… girls– I like… my job. I like… music. I think I’d enjoy camping, you know, some day…” 

Your words… these things seemed so arbitrary and trivial. But in your house, these things cause dissent. “My family has an opinion about everything. There’s no right way to live in all of their eyes, but I think I figured out a way to get past it. Keep my head down and do what’s expected of me. Graduate college, get a respectable job, find a man to marry, drop the job and become a mother. Just… don’t make waves. It seemed better because the cousins who didn’t or couldn’t… well they became the butt of every joke at the family dinner. Lisa had one miscarriage so she was a ‘failure’ and Don never dated girls so he was gay and that was ‘bad,’ but grandma Zelda did everything a good Christian woman could do and they still gossiped about her behind her back… 

“And I just… I just let their ignorance control me for my entire life.” God, you could cry right now, but somehow it just felt too good to say it outloud. “That.. that is so fucked.” 

Robyn snorted, and you turned to her as if you’d forgotten she was there. There it was again, that sympathy. Not pity, she did not burden you with tears of her own or try to be angry for you. She just listened and understood. You twisted the diamond encrusted ring on your finger and stared at her. You felt it, that feeling in your heart. No one else had given you that look, like she could really see you. 

“You’re not going back to Fiancé, are you?” Her question was equal parts worrisome and hopeful and you already knew the answer in your heart. 

“No.”

And that was it. Decision made. Actually easier than you'd thought. Maybe not down the road but it felt good for now. There's the telling your fiancé it's over, the moving out, the public announcement, the inevitable feeling of failure, your family, god, his family too. Untangling your lives would be long and hard. You're not sure if you have that level of commitment and motivation in you but fuck it. Problems for tomorrow.

You rest your head on Rob's shoulder and hope your not pushing any boundaries. She doesn't stop you though, in fact she snuggles you deeper into her. You get the feeling she's been here before though your not sure which side or how bad it was for her.

"I like you way more in the few times I've met you than any man I've ever dated," you heard yourself say. "I'm sure that means something but I'm too tired to decide anymore. No tonight at least."

Rob chuckled. "I like you too, sugar."

If you made it this far, hi 💛 appreciate you, leave me a comment! Or just comment "💛"

[statusquoergo]

Hi! I was wondering if I might ask for some advice? A few days ago, this idea for a Marvey fic came to me randomly and it's been running circles in my mind ever since. It's gotten to the point where I even started to rewatch the show after three years. I've got certain scenes in my head too! The problem is that I'm quite terrible at seeing projects through. I don't really have the time lately to put a lot of my effort into this story unfortunately, but I also have a track record of giving up on stories I'm super passionate about halfway through. I was wondering if you had any tips or advice? You're one of my favorite writers and I hoped you might be able to help. Thank you!

Hi! Wow, am I really? Wow. I never think of myself as being one of anyone's favorite anything, that's really sweet of you to say, thank you so much! And of course you're more than welcome to ask, I'll do my best to be helpful!

Oh boy, I've been there... Having scenes already playing out in your head sounds like a good start, though! Better than having a vague premise with no concrete ideas, anyway. But seeing projects through can be tough, for sure, and the inherently fickle nature of fanfiction's feedback loop doesn't make it easier. So! Tips and advice!

A lot of people, especially those with little free time, benefit from a schedule, blocking out time in the day to dedicate to writing without distractions. If that works for you, great! But if it doesn't, that's cool too. It doesn't for me. Forcing myself to sit down and write at any given moment is one thing, but making it an appointment is something else entirely, and it messes really badly with my productivity. I guess the point of this is, don't feel bad if you don't stick to a strict schedule, but also don't let yourself totally off the hook; if you want your story to get written, you'll probably occasionally have to make yourself write it, even if you don't think you want to. Moments of vivid inspiration are amazing, yeah, but they aren't all that common; sometimes you've just gotta sit down and crank out a few paragraphs. A shitty first draft is better than no draft at all, and you can always go back and edit it into something you love!

When I'm not actively writing, I do my best conceptualizing while I'm doing other fairly low-energy things, like going for a walk or watching television or something, and then writing down parts of scenes, or even just thematic ideas I want to include somewhere in the piece, as they come to me. (I have also been known to force myself out of bed as I'm trying to fall asleep to write down snatches of dialogue that have just occurred to me... I recommend keeping a notepad and pen close by, it's much less hassle.) Whenever I can find the time, I'll turn them into a chapter, or part of one, but this method allows me to keep engaged with the story even when I'm not actually drafting it.

Lack of inspiration strikes us all, though, and in that case, it's totally fine to leave a story alone for a little while. The key there being "a little while"; give it a good night's sleep or a day off, but then, even if you don't get right back into writing, at least start thinking about it again until you're ready. Or maybe do get back to writing first thing! Sitting at your computer and making progress, even if it's progress you ultimately delete, at least puts you back in the writing mindset and gets you back into the world you're creating.

This is partially specific to the world of fanfiction, but don't be afraid to vary your chapter length. If you like to get your chapters up to 5000 words before you post, great, that's a fine baseline, but if you've managed to put together a few scenes that only get to 1500 words and still tell a cohesive story, or part of one, it's perfectly okay to post that, too. Getting feedback on new material can be a great motivator, but it can also be really motivating just to have that sense of accomplishment of putting more of your writing out into the world and seeing that word counter go up. Not to mention, updating the Last Updated date can make a fic seem more current, and maybe help get it back to the front of your mind!

I think the main theme here is, do what you can to keep yourself immersed in the story you're working on, even when you're not working on it. And I know this sucks to hear and nobody wants to think about it, but sometimes you do have to force yourself to write. If you haven't worked on your story at all for the past two weeks, ask yourself what's holding you back. Did you lose your passion for the material, or are you just frustrated? Did you even realize it had been that long? What made you want to write the story in the first place? What's the ending you want to get to, and what's keeping you from getting there? Remember that even writing a little bit is better than writing nothing! It's fine to take a break, but don't give up!

These tips aren't universal, of course, no advice works for everybody, but I hope at least one thing I've said can be helpful to you! Best of luck!

[etlunainmorte]

~ 1st May, 1884 ~

Sous le dome epais ou le blanc jasmin,

A la rose s'assemble,

Sur la rive en fleurs riant au matin,

Doucement glissons De son flot charmant,

Suivons le courant fuyant,

Dans l'onde fremissante,

D'une main nonchalante,

Viens, gagnons le bord,

Ou la source dort et,

L'oiseau, l'oiseau chante.

So, this was the song that everyone was talking about. The Flower Duet from Lakme. It does sound enchanting. It calmed your mind and filled your head with happy thoughts. And everyone seemed to think so, as well. You could clearly see the elated expressions on their faces from one of the upper boxes you and your companions were watching the play from. Act One in and you're fully taken in! The grandeur, the bright lights, and the flowers! Yes, the flowers! Everything was so enchantingly beautiful,...

Apparently, focusing hard on Lakme was the only thing you could do that one evening in May. Why?

You carefully peeled your (E/C) eyes off the flowery stage without putting down your Galilean binoculars and gave a sideways glance to the man sitting right next to you on your left. And, surely, for the third time that evening, you caught the man gazing at you, his cold eyes seemingly giving your senses the opposite effect and making your head spin.

You suppressed your little cough, shrugged your shoulders a bit, and pretended to sit up straight as you focused your sight back to the stage. And still, you could feel the man's gaze boring into you.

There was,... something truly different about the Duke and you noticed it the moment he arrived from London to visit you here in Paris. It's as if an intimidating kind of aura surrounded him with the way he carried himself. You swore you even felt smaller than ever before when you stood next to him to greet him. Or maybe it was just your imagination playing tricks on you? After all, you haven't seen the man in ten years. You remembered him telling you that he had some urgent matters to attend to with regards to the land ( far too massive ) and the titles ( far too great ) that his father has left him ( his younger brother inherited the lesser title of Earl from their late uncle, as customary ) and that he needed to go to London for them. 

Of course, your friendship thrived despite the long distance. The two of you continued to exchange letters, lengthy, in fact, about your daily lives, your etiquette lessons, his thriving businesses, your passion in the arts, the expansion of his father's land, your fondness of your family's little garden, and his hobby in music. And in these letters, he promised to bring you to London one day, to see his humble home, to attend both the Season and the Little Season with him, to bask in the rustic countryside, and to wander about the garden he claimed he has built just for you.

Oh, how your heart fluttered when you read those words from the man! And from that point onward, you waited for the day of his return. Everyday, you hoped to see him in your doorstep, smiling at you and sweetly calling your name,...

And after ten long years of waiting, he has finally arrived! But, there was something truly different about him. It seemed that London has morphed him into a different kind of person.

Gone was the boy who always skipped his Latin lessons just to play pirates with you. Gone was the little trouble maker who often has to dress up like his younger twin to escape his duties as the eldest son. Gone was the little man who always read William Blake's poems for you.

For, standing before you that one sunny morning, was none other than the man, himself. The intimidating, the tall one,...

... The Duke of Red Grave, himself.

Vergil Sparda.

As your sight jumped back and forth from Lakme to Millika, your mind went over everything that occurred the moment Vergil returned. During the last fortnight of his stay, he has graciously sent you gifts, taken you to Balls, has sent you flowers every morning, and has sent you poetry every evening.

However, despite all this attention you were receiving from him, you could not help but wonder why he still felt somehow absent. Yes, he has given you gifts. Yes, he has sent you letters. Yes, he has engaged with you but, somehow, it felt as if the Vergil you have known has disappeared. It's as if, suddenly, there was this man who barely actually spent time with you. To actually talk with you, to laugh with you, to exchange stories like how you used to. Simply put, he was always very busy. And now he seemed,... cold. Distant.

The Vergil you came to know,... was gone. That even though he was around, you felt empty.

You were still thinking deeply about it when you came out of the Grecian house of the theatre arts that you barely noticed it when the man took your hand and led you towards his own lacquered carriage bearing his symbol. And when you finally came to your senses, you found yourself sitting comfortably across the long - legged Duke, feeling your bottom sink deliciously amidst the deep blue velvet cushions of his luxurious vehicle.

"Y - your Grace?" You mumbled in confusion as you looked into his unfathomable eyes. "Where are the others?"

The Duke didn't even smile. Instead, he gave you a curt nod and gestured at the window to his left. "Dante and his lady are on their way to Morrison's. It's,... getting quite late. I must keep my word to your father that I would bring you home as early as I could."

"Oh."

Vergil didn't say anything else. Instead, he looked away from you and gazed at the streets of Paris outside the window as the carriage started to move.

As if those same, stoic eyes didn't stare at you for the whole duration of the play.

The thirty - minute ride back home was spent as unimaginably quiet as possible. Not that either of you don't want to speak to the other, no. It just felt like starting a conversation somehow felt awkward between the two of you. The silence even went so far that you could already feel your neck aching with the way you're forcefully focusing on the window to your left.

And, just then, when the carriage finally entered your family's estate, you heard the man clear his throat, making you turn towards him.

"Did you enjoy the play, my lady?" He asked all of a sudden.

Surprised at the question, you answered, "Why, yes! Yes, of course, Your Grace."

Vergil cleared his throat once more as he looked back outside. "Good."

When the Duke's vehicle came to a halt just in front of your house, the man swiftly opened the door, went outside, and opened the door for you. He took your hand and gently helped you step out of the carriage. By this time, the household has already settled down for the evening, with only the Head Butler left awake to open the door for you.

Then, as you were expecting him to lead you straight to the door, he turned to the right, forcing you to quicken your pace due to his wide strides.

Your dainty hand still on the crook of his left arm and the other lifting your long, (F/C) chiffon skirt to prevent yourself from tripping, you looked up at the man and saw,... something strange in his eyes.

Strange, and yet,...

... it felt really familiar, somehow. And exciting.

"Your Grace? I - is there something wrong?"

The man's eyes widened. He looked down at you and gave you a slightly awkward smile.

"Nothing! Nothing, dearest."

"Where are we - ?"

"Do you still remember? I used to escape my Latin tutor to spend time with you on your little garden."

Wha - ? "Y - your Grace?"

"Then we pretended we were pirates. I let you be the Captain for one day and we played and played, until the sun went down and my mother came looking for me."

"I,... ah,... well, yes! Of course. How could I forget?"

"Then, father gave me an earful. And Dante was so jealous when he found out I spent the whole day with you! I remember he sulked all day and didn't talk to me for a week. Did you know he has such a huge crush on you back then?"

You gave out a little laugh at the reminder. "Yes, I remember that huge crush but, I didn't know he ignored you like that for a week!"

Vergil chuckled. What's,... going on? "Then, when I heard you were sick, I borrowed Dante's clothes and knocked on your window."

"Yes, and nobody noticed it was you and not your brother. But, I did."

"My lady, how did you recognize me again?"

"You were carrying around your book of poems. Dante would never do that."

"Why, yes. Indeed, you are right." The man nodded.

"And I let you in because I was scared that someone would see you outside my window." You added. "It was,... such a huge breach of etiquette. Inviting a boy inside a girl’s room."

"It was such an experience."

"Yes. And it was,... actually quite nice. Being read poetry to you when you're sick."

"And I did that a couple of times. Even when you're not sick. The Garden Of Love was your most absolute favorite.”

“Why, yes, it still is.”

“Hmm.”

"You were such a naughty boy, Your Grace."

Vergil's eyes lit up, and when he looked at you, despite his facial features staying a little bit stoic and awkward, you felt something really warm within them.

Could it be,... ?

But, no. You decided to not let your hopes up.

Then again, the way he talked to you just now. It's as if the old Vergil you knew slipped through the very small kink of his intimidating armor and said hello to you once more.

It's as if somehow, deep within the shell of this cold man, lie still the soul of an old friend that you spent most of your childhood with.

And the way he looked at you,...

... it felt as if this old Vergil really wanted to be set free.

"Vergil."

Huh? "Your Grace?"

"I'm just Vergil." The man quietly said when you two finally arrived at the garden. "Please, call me Vergil." He spoke, not taking his eyes off you as he led you towards that old stone bench.

"Isn't it wrong to call you just by your name?" You asked him, the sweet scent of the white roses before you drifting to your nostrils.

The man raised an eyebrow. "Is it?"

"Yes,..." You answered uncertainly, helplessly watching as the man settled next to you and took both of your hands.

"Not in my book, my dearest." He said, raising both of your hands and giving each one a chaste peck.

Just now,...

Did you feel your heart skip a beat just now?

The way he's gazing at you, his eyes not leaving yours. The way he held your hands, his own, big ones gently rubbing them. The way he sat next to you, his closeness giving you more warmth than you could handle on a summer evening,...

What,... is going on?!

"Your Grace - "

"Vergil."

"Vergil." You repeated. "Is there something wrong? Something you wanted to say?"

"Is it wrong to stay like this for a while?"

God! This is getting really uncomfortable,... "W - what I mean is - "

"Come with me to London, (Y/N)."

All of a sudden, your tongue decided not to cooperate with you. Yes, you were excited when the man promised you in those long letters that he would bring you to London one day.

But, now that he's asking you, why did it feel so,... different?

"I'm sorry but - "

"So, you will not go with me?"

"I will! I mean,..."

"Yes, (Y/N)?" The Duke asked, not a hint of amusement in his tone. "I told you in my letters. I promised to take you there with me. You said, yes. And, here I' am, fulfilling that promise to you. So, I will ask once more: will you go to London with me?"

You felt your heart doing flips, and you even had an urge to pry your trembling hands from him but, his grasp was just too tight.

"Is it just - ?" You nervously asked, fearing you might be wrong in your assumption. "Just the two of us?"

"Yes."

Oh, my God,... "T - then, I should tell my parents that - "

"Let me make this clear for the both of us." The man interrupted you. "Marry me, (Y/N)."

Were your ears deceiving you,... ? Just now, did he just ask you,... ? "Y - yes? I mean - !"

"What is it? What's the matter, my dearest?" Vergil asked, closing the gap between the two of you and leaving you no choice but to face him head on. "I couldn't help it. I have loved you ever since I've known you. And my feelings for you only became deeper when I went to London. When I was separated from you. You don’t have a single idea how much I’ve dreamed of this very moment. I want to be with you. Always.”

"Your Grace, I - "

Were your senses deceiving you? Or did he just press his incredibly soft lips against yours? Did your eyeballs just roll up your eyelids at the incredible sensation of his mouth moving gently and yet firmly against yours, urging you to reciprocate? Did that same mouth, which rarely blessed anyone with a smile, render you totally useless right before him? Did those same hands, that held yours a moment ago, and which started to move up and down your back in a soothing rhythm, hypnotize you? Did that deep voice of his, which softly moaned your name, just make you forget everything else as you finally held onto him for dear life? Did the way he uttered those three words finally move you to the point of surrender?

You never knew, and you never wished to find out. For there was only one thing in your mind at that moment,...

You awfully missed this man. This fiercely loving, unbelievably caring, and absolutely adoring man, who was mysteriously hiding behind his cold, cynic, and intimidating shell for some reason you wish to find out. You missed him too much for your own good.

And now that he's holding you, and loving you, and caressing you this way, you wished this sweet moment would last longer. You fervently wished for this contact to not end. Your heart longed for this man to stay with you forevermore.

However, as the popular belief went, all good things must come to an end, for just when the rhythm of his caresses started to change, he decided to stop. And this earned him a little, almost unnoticeable whine from you.

The corner of the man's lips went up in an unmistakable smirk, and just when you felt the heat creep up to your ears, he tipped your chin up to make you look straight into his darkened eyes and said, "I'll take that as a yes."

Once again, your own words failed you as you tried to let out a comprehensible argument. After what happened, how could anyone just say no to this handsome devil, anyway?!

"And now, I must make my preparations." The man said as he gave you a chaste peck on the forehead. "I will go back to London this instant."

"Wait! I thought you said - ?"

"I know." The man interrupted as he cupped your cheeks. "And I will be back before you even know it. As a matter of fact, you will never notice me coming towards you."

You helplessly shook your head as laid your hands on his, feeling the joy and mirth go back to your system after such a long time of this man's absence. "That's so Vergil of you, I guess. You creeping up on me and surprising me like that."

"For your information, my dearest, I don't creep." The man answered, clearly frowning at what you just labeled him as, but still not letting you go. "You should leave the creeping up to Dante, for I would only sweep you off your feet. Ouch! That hurt!"

And how could you not pinch him?! How could any stoic man such as him stay calm and serious and collected as he tell jokes?! It was so,... Vergil of him!

Oh, God! How you missed this side of him!

"You're so unfair, Vergil." You told him as you shamelessly wrapped your arms around his neck. "Leaving me for ten years, then going back just to propose to me out of the blue like that? You know you could've done that before going to London in the first place, and I would say yes. I would always say yes to you, Vergil."

"Forgive this fool for not doing it earlier, then." He answered as he held you, wrapping you in his embrace and pressing your body closer to his.

You hummed in satisfaction as you basked in his embrace. Burying your face in his fragrant shirt, you said, "You're so unfair. And mesmerizing."

"Well! We'll see about that."

"About what?" You asked as you looked up at him. "About you being unfair, or you being mesmerizing?"

Vergil smirked and inched closer to your ear. And with a voice that sent your senses to oblivion, he whispered, "Both. But I'm afraid we'll both have to wait until our wedding night to find out."

Even before his meaning sank, the man swiftly stood up and offered you his hand. "It is really getting late. You must go to bed now, my dearest. I insist."

"And you, My Lord?" You asked in a playful voice, matching the same degree of mischief that he has a while ago.

Vergil gave out a theatrical sigh. A very rare sight, indeed. "I'm your Lord now?" He asked, his eyebrow raised skeptically once more. "Anyway, to answer your question, as I've said, I would immediately go back to London. Probably to wake up the whole household with the good news. And make my preparations."

The little walk back to your house was enjoyable but, the parting proved to be really difficult. The man bid you good night and sweet dreams, and you bade him farewell for now with a forlorn wave of the hand. You don't know how long you'd wait for him this time around, however, he has assured you that he would be back before you even know it. And you trusted him, for he never broke his promises.

Until then, you would eagerly wait for his return. But, right now, you must go to sleep,...

... and dream of this one evening in May,...

... when the man of your dreams, your childhood love, the man you adored and waited for for ten years,...

... has finally declared his love for you.

***

🌸 I hope you still remember this little prize of mine for you, @harlot-of-oblivion . Thank you so much for supporting my work! 🌸

***

🌸🌸🌸

***

[vampire-the-askerade]

if you're taking them still, maybe beckett/m!reader with "i could kiss you right now" please? thank you ^^ ❤

[ask continue: (oh for the beckett one i just sent, m!toreador reader would be awesome but u can do whatever you like ^^ just forgot to mention that lol)]

You were glad that you decided to feed earlier in the evening because if you waited until later like you were planning on then you would definitely be fighting your inner beast to not go wild right now. Beckett had invited you over to his temporary haven to bounce some information off of you to try to figure out one of his most recent finds. Now, you weren't a historian like he was, but he mostly needed someone there to say things out loud to. He said that it would only take a half-hour to and hour...that was five hours ago.

"I don't understand what this is talking about!" Beckett groaned as his topaz eyes raked over the frail chunk of tapestry on the desk in front of him. "There's constant references to a rock. I got this in a mountain! There are trillions of rocks in the area where I found it!" At this point, you were kind of zoning out on your phone, and to be honest kind of wishing for second death. While you did really like Beckett you were hoping to do something else besides just listen to him have a break down over an old rug. Sure, it was engaging for the first hour or so, but now it was just kind of concerning. "Is there a specific patter or something you are looking for?" He raked his hand through his hair. "No, and there are carvings all over the area. If there was a certain symbol or phrase I was looking for there's a high chance it's on part of the tapestry I don't have."

"Okay," you huffed as you put your phone down, "what exactly does it say?" Beckett sat up a bit more properly and tilted the stand the tapestry piece was on so he could see it better. "It says, 'You will find the answer buried under the feet of the Rock.' But, nothing about what rock it is." You couldn't help but give a snort and ask, "Well, have you asked Dwayne Johnson about it?" Beckett turned to you with a confused look on his face. Sometimes you forgot that not all the older kindred kept up with modern things; especially ones that specialize in archeology. "He's a wrestler that turned into an actor. You know, all that pop-culture stuff us Toreador are into." He chuckled a bit at the much-needed joke. "Yes, I suppose-" He stopped suddenly with the gears in his head obviously turning.

"You're suggesting, 'the rock,' could be the name of a person?" Beckett asked as he looked over the tapestry again. "Sure, I guess. Is there anyone else known as the rock?" He gave a big huff as his shoulders slumped forward with relief and slight embarrassment at his oversight. "Bloody hell... Saint Peter!" This time it was you giving him the confused look. He started to explain, albeit more to himself rather than to you. "The Biblical person Saint Peter was also known by the name Kepha later Anglicised as the Cephas. A name meaning, 'a crag,' or, 'a rock.' Now all I have to do is go back to that mountain and look for the depiction of Peter!" You couldn’t help but giggle at how giddy he was. It was like a kid getting a bike or something.

"Well, would you look at that! Turns out I'm a pretty clever boy!" You laughed as you watched him gather his things in a hurry to get back to the sight while he had still had time to. Beckett shoved a few more things into his back and chimed back, "A very clever boy! God, I could kiss you right now!"

"Well, nobody's stopping you." You teased but weren't expecting to actually get a response, much less the one that you did. On his way to the door, Beckett grabbed the sides of your face and gave you one of the deepest kisses you've ever gotten in your life. When he pulled away he immediately headed for the door. "Watch the place for me. I'll be back soon." Beckett called to you. Not that you really heard what he said; you were still in a daze from the surprise you just got.

[punkscowardschampions]

Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶😶 Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

[kez2402]

Hang In There// Peter Parker (2)

Chapter 1

Not much had happened after the events dealing with the Vulture. The Allen family had left town, something about him not wanting his family there during the trial, I would have done the same. Homecoming was ruined for Peter, Ned and myself. I had loved my dress and only wished that I could have gotten the full experience, the dress, the dancing, the date. Unfortunately it's our job to keep everyone safe and sacrifices have to be made.

It was three months since Liz had left and I was walking down the hallway with MJ, the usual routine at this point. We met up with Ned in the canteen, Peter nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, Ned."

The boy smiled at us as I sat down, MJ saying she had to go sort something out with a teacher. We engaged in small conversation as I looked around the canteen, noticing that Liz Allen was definitely a person you notice missing from the student body.

"It's sad what happened to Liz."

"Yeah, pity."

He paused for a minute before smirking at me.

"But oh well, she was just a distraction for Peter anyways."

I shot a glare at the boy, furrowing my eyebrows at him.

"That actually makes sense, to be honest."

Ned's eyes widened at my statement.

"It does?"

"Yeah. At Homecoming, Pete said something to Liz before he ran off after the Vulture-"

Ned was on the edge of his seat.

"What did he say?!"

I looked at the boy questionably.

"He told her 'you aren't her'. What's that suppose to mean? That he never liked Liz to begin with?"

A smile grew onto Ned's face as he comprehended my words.

"What's got you so happy?"

"Do you remember what I said to you at Liz's party?"

I furrowed my brows.

"The one from months ago? The one where Pete called me a jealous bitch?"

I chuckled at the last part, making a joke out of the situation.

"Yeah! That one."

I thought for a moment before answering.

"Other than you trying to stick up for Pete, then no. Well, I know you said something as I was leaving but I can't remember what."

"That wasn't the only hint."

"Only hint at what?"

He shook his head at me, chuckling to himself.

"You really are oblivious aren't you?"

"Oblivious to what, Ned?!"

I was so confused as to what Ned was trying to tell me, finding it hard to decode his cryptic message. He just laughed at my reaction as Peter came to sit with us, addressing my confused reaction.

"Hey, what did I miss?"

I scooted over to let him sit down, never taking my eyes off of Ned.

"Ned is giving me a cryptic message that I have no idea how to decode."

Peter then wore a confused look too.

"Cryptic message in relation to what?"

"In relation to Liz Allen being a distraction."

I could feel Peter immediately tense beside me, his eyes widening as he shot a glare at Ned.

"So you know what he's talking about."

"Ehhh-"

I raised a brow at him, a smirk playing on my lips.

"You do!"

I chuckled at the brunet as he sat there frozen in place, not knowing how to react to any of this. I patted his shoulder as I stood up from the table, smiling evilly at him.

"Don't worry, Pete. You can tell me later at dinner."

His eyes widened as I walked away from the two. Peter Parker was in a sticky situation.

__________________________________________________

The rest of the day flew by, classes went surprisingly fast considering that when you have something you're looking forward to, it goes slow. I got the train home with Peter, the rain was pounding against the ground as we went to the underground.

May had dinner ready once we stepped in the door, the aroma of pasta found it's way to our nostrils as we entered into the apartment.

"Hey, May."

We sat around the small table, engaging in small conversation as we devoured the food.

"How was school?"

"The same as always; boring."

I looked at Peter, raising a brow, before turning back to May.

"Ned and Peter, here, have a little secret involving Liz Allen being a 'distraction'."

I seen May share a look with Peter.

"You know too?!"

I sighed heavily as the two broke into laughter at my reaction. May winked at me as Peter turned a new shade of red beside me. To say that their behaviour hadn't me confused would be an understatement.

I helped May wash up after dinner while Peter went to take a shower.

"I'm surprised that he hasn't told you yet."

I looked at May, once again a confused look on my face.

"Tell me what, May? All day I've had Ned telling me the same thing and now you've said it and I'm so confused as to what's going on. Is there something wrong? Or?"

She chuckled at me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Nothing is wrong, dear. It's best if he tells you himself."

I smiled at the woman as Peter came back into the kitchen, a serious expression on his face. I dried my hands and walked over to him.

"Hey, Peter, what's wrong?"

"I was such a fool."

I looked at him confused by his statement as he grabbed my hand and dragged me down the hallway to his room, where he closed the door behind him.

"Peter, what is going on?"

He stood in the corner of the room, looking straight at me.

"It wasn't fair, Sof."

"What wasn't fair?"

"The fact that you had to go to Homecoming alone, no date, nothing because your best friend decided to bring a senior who he didn't even like."

A weight lifted off my shoulders as I chuckled at him.

"Pete, I thought something was actually wrong."

But his serious expression never lifted causing me to look at him questionably.

"You always get the worst of everything, Sof. In the past year you've been shot, sexually assaulted, your home burned to a crisp. Homecoming was suppose to be that one night where everything seemed perfect in the world and I completely pushed you to the side and only cared about myself."

I shook my head at him as I stood up, strolling over to the boy in the corner.

"Pete, where is this all coming from?"

"You give life and limb for everybody and you get nothing but shit in return. It's not fair, Sof. It angers me to think that for one night I could have stood up to the mark as your best friend and made it the best Homecoming you could ever have had; but I didn't. The thing is, you never once complained about it. Hell, you even gave me advice! You had to take a bus to Homecoming, you had no one to dance with, you followed me to that warehouse, you followed me into the fight and not once did you ever complain about it."

I furrowed my brows at him.

"Pete, I was happy that you got to go with Liz because I thought she was the girl you wanted. I followed you into the fight 'cause it's not only my duty as a hero, but my duty as your friend."

I took his hands in mine.

"It's not a matter of what's fair and what isn't. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to ensure those around us are happy."

I offered him a small smile as he squinted his eyes at me.

"And who makes the sacrifices to ensure that you're happy, Sof."

Silence.

"Cause from the looks of it, nobody is making any and you're left shoved to the side."

I could feel the anger and frustration building up inside of him as he ran his hands through his hair, pacing around the room.

"Pete, relax. It's okay-"

"No, Sof, it isn't!"

He stopped pacing, angry tears starting to build up on his waterline.

"Peter, hey."

I walked over to the boy and embraced him in a hug as he dug his head into my neck. I ran my hand up and down his back.

"What's caused all this, Pete?"

He pulled away and sat on his bed, his head resting in the palms of his hands.

"You deserve happiness every bit as much as anyone else."

I sat beside him.

"Pete, I am happy. I have amazing friends, a home, I've got Aunt May, I'm doing half decent in school, I got to go to Homecoming, I've gone to Germany to help Iron Man-"

I looked at the brunet.

"I have you."

"Yeah."

Peter sounded defeated as he looked down at his clasped hands.

"I have got everything I could ever have wanted. I'm happy, Pete, I truly am."

No response. His hands being the most interesting thing to him at that moment. I stood up quickly, causing his eyes to follow me.

"If you want to make it up to me, Flash is having a party tonight. Pick me up at eight, you can be my plus one."

A smirk played on my lips as he looked at me confused.

"You want to go to Flash's party?"

"Well, you obviously feel like you haven't been stepping up to the mark as my best friend."

I patted his shoulder before leaving.

"Here's your chance for redemption."

With that I left the Parker's, all the while I was thinking:

Why did Peter Parker care so much about Homecoming?

____________________________

To read the rest of the story go to Kez2402 on Wattpad or click on the link below:

[tcookies]

Discrimination in the Halo community

I've been in the Halo fandom for as long as I can remember. Halo 1 was the first game I ever played, thanks to my older brother introducing me to it when I was five and letting me be the Player 2 to his Player 1. I'm in my 20s now and still marathon those campaign missions with my brother. Yes, we marathon all 5 games at least once a year. It's a tradition now.

I've become such a devoted fan that, over the past decade, I've spent time scouring the wiki and reading the novels because I'm so obsessed with the universe and other characters besides Chief, Cortana, Halsey, etc.

I've never actually actively participated in the Halo community and made myself known among other Halo fans. I'm not a wikia contributor, I don't engage in online forums or threads, or anything of that sort. I just play the games, buy the merch, read the books and comics.. that sort of thing.

And yet, when I do make a comment on any Halo video, whether it be a video about some guy playing the Halo theme at his wedding or a group of boys singing it in a bathroom, I suddenly get attacked.

The Halo fandom is a male-dominant fandom which doesn't really matter except the attitude of the fans can be so exclusive and discriminatory.

I get attacked for saying things like "I want my future husband to play the theme song at our wedding" or for saying "sometimes I play this mission just for this awesome moment" or even just saying "I'd love to sing this with you guys". I get attacked.

I get called a "thot". I get called "ugly" or "liar". Someone, out of the blue, once called me the N-word (I'm not even Black; I'm Asian) and said that I was a girl pretending to be a gamer (apparently people still believe girls don't play games). I am automatically labeled an SJW just because my profile picture depicts me sporting a pixie cut (and God forbid a girl has short hair). Every Halo fan I have ever met has insulted, threatened, and cussed me out.

All because I am a lady who likes to play Halo.

Like I said, I don't actively engage or participate in the Halo community very often. When I do, however, I get attacked everywhere for it. No matter what comment I make. My comment doesn't even seem to matter. Because what the person is looking at is NOT my comment but my profile picture and they see a smiling girl with a pixie cut.

Is the Halo fandom really this toxic? Is the so called "brotherhood" exclusively just a brotherhood of sexist and/or racist jerks? This fandom is about 2 decades old by now. So I assume there are some older fans with children even. Yet, every Halo fan I encounter seems to have the mentality of a 5-year old boy with no manners and has a potty mouth. It's so disappointing to be in a fandom you really love but.. turns out to be discriminatory.

I thought only 5-year boys (and only some) did that "No girls allowed" rule but based on years of interacting and engaging the Halo community it seems the Halo fans have enacted that childhood rule as well.

I know, I know. But not every guy is like that. Right? Right... I sincerely hope not every male Halo fan is racist/sexist indeed. But so far, no male fan has ever proved me wrong. No male Halo fan has ever stood up for me despite seeing a fellow fan being insulted for no reason other than that fan is a girl. I keep waiting for a fellow Halo fan to prove me wrong; to prove to me that the Halo community isn't the racist/sexist trash everyone else has been proving me it is.

Altogether, I am not just calling out the Halo community for their racist and sexist attitudes that have gone unchecked amongst themselves. This is to the gaming community as a whole.

I've had male gamers threaten me online with rape even. Only ONCE (maybe twice) has another male gamer actually stood up for me. It was a simple "dude leave her alone" and that was pretty much it but hey at least that 1 guy tried to do something while nobody else bothered.

If you're a guy, perhaps you don't have a sister. Perhaps you had a horrible mother. Perhaps you do not have a daughter. Or perhaps you've had terrible experience with women. Whatever is the case, that doesn't justify a sexist attitude/behavior. And vice versa.

If you are a male Halo fan, or even just a male gamer, I'd like to hear your thoughts about this.

Even now, I wonder if I'll only be responded with even more insults or threats.

[messymindofmine]

So when are we gonna stop pretending that Desi girls don't also have the same internalized racism they love to criticise in Desi guys? Seriously, the amount of girls I've seen and heard going on about how Desi guys are the worst all the while thirsting after white guys. To all those girls, you do realise that those guys will never be able to relate to you on the same level as a Desi guy will right? And that whichever way you look at it, it is in fact the white guys that actually uphold and benefit from the white supremacy that you love to accuse Desi guys of supporting with their misogyny against Desi girls. Look, nobody is saying that Desi guys shouldn't he called out for their misogyny but if you're seriously going to sit there and criticise Desi guys but still thirst after white guys, guess what? That is your internalized racism. I have seen far too many Desi girls talking shit about Desi guys while putting white guys on a wholly undeserved pedestal and then getting upset upon being called out. Hell, I've seen it in the 1D fandom and their treatment of Zayn. The amount of Desi girls I have seen screaming over the mere thought of one of the whites having Desi friends (which given the fact that most of them are from the North of England which has an extremely large Desi population isn't exactly unfathomable) or attending a Desi wedding or even just being in the vicinity of something remotely Desi and giving them the label of "honorary desi" or whatever is mind-boggling to me. I mean, you guys do realise that there is a wonderful Desi guy right there in front of you right? A wonderful Desi guy who is kind and gentle and so proud of his heritage and always goes the extra mile to engage with his Desi fans. And yet I have seen throughout the years Desi girls who claim to be so oh so progressive and untouched by internalized racism turning their backs on him as soon as he began to slip from the puritanical ideals that had been set up for him. Ideals that none of the other guys had to deal with. Throughout his time with 1D, Desi girls idealized him so much they seemed to have forgotten that he was in fact only human just like they were. Just like all of us. Look, I get how easy it is to idealize celebrities, especially in Zayn's case where he really was the first mainstream representation most of us had ever seen. And given the lengths 1D management went through to whitewash him, it isn't too surprising that we ended up idealizing him since all we were seeing was a very carefully crafted persona that Zayn himself has said wasn't who he was. But even so, it doesn't make erasing his humanity right. I mean, as it is he gets dehumanizing by non Desi members of the 1D fandom (especially white fans) and has to deal with racism and Islamophobia on the daily without those of us who are able to identify with him on a truly personal level falling into that trap as well. And many have fallen into that trap whether they want to admit it or not. Zayn is our Desi boy who is so proud of his heritage and has inspired so many of us but he is also a human with many different sides of him just like the rest of us. I am a Desi Muslim just like Zayn but that is not the only aspect of my identity. I have so many other sides to me that are just as important. Just like Zayn. 

Edit: For the record, I definitely think it's important to call out misogyny and internalized racism in the South Asian community. I just think that if we're going to do it with each other then we should also be willing to do it to ourselves. Also, just so we're clear, if you're not South Asian yourself, you do not get a say in conversations about internalized racism, misogyny or any other intracommunity issues-be it about Zayn or anything else. Discussing Zayn and his position and significance in the South Asian community is an intra-community discussion as is the importance of not erasing aspects of his entire identity. It's not the same as general discussions about the racism he has faced.

[isroselalondebisexual]

Heya! If you're still doing trollswap stuff, how do you think John Peixes (there's a Jade and Dave Peixes and I wanna see this boy as tyrian), Rose Ampora (Idk I like Rose as seadweller purple but! that's just me), Jade Leijon (Dog girl...turned cat girl? :0, also Jade as a Witch of Heart is an interesting concept to me!), and Dave Maryam (Idk, Dave as a jadeblood would be cool, especially given that I think the jade caste is female majority?)

John Peixes, raised with as much wealth and power as a troll can have, with a lusus that makes demands but also loves him. Tbeh the idea of John using his power to hurt others is laughable, but I absolutely think that he’s the kind of person who would take advantage of his station to make sure that he’s first in line to see whatever cool new movie/game/interest of his that’s coming out. Is he going to burn down your neighborhood for the sake of a selfie background? No. Is he gonna post hella untagged spoilers for that movie you were looking forward to? You bet your ass. He’s well-intentioned over all, he likes all the warmer castes and has opinions ranging from “I mean what they’re up to is kind of not my business” to “they’re all so funny” depending on the mood of the night, a little condescending but never out of any malice. Nobody’s sure what to make of him because on one hand, it sorta sounds like he could have ideas for radical social reform in that he’s NOT mean to warm bloods and that’s usually how treason presents itself, but on the other hand he’s like… really endearing and his jokes are genuinely funny so most people actually really, really like him and are pretty pleased to be able to say “yes this one is our heir. He’s a little dumb but by god he’s doing his best.” There’s a sort of mutual back and forth of him looking at all of his subjects and going “aw cute” and them looking at him and going “fuck he’s adorable.” It’s possible that John, after maybe getting prompted from Rose or smth, uses his charm and social media presence (he’s got a sizable following, but no one is obligated to subscribe to his various channels) to start up a system where if someone in an area next to you dies, you can inform the heir and his orphaner and those lususes are donated to the cause of “Keep my horrorterror lusus from killing everyone by screaming.” He really doesn’t like killing things, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth and he gets. Weird. When he has to deal with death. So he’s really, really grateful he has a moirail like Rose to help take care of him! As Heir of Life, he’s got a pretty ridiculously high sense of empathy, especially considering the society he was raised in, and sometimes it can get so overwhelming he just shuts down. He’s compassionate, and interested in fixing things, but he isn’t sure how to DO that, aside from just, well, being himself. Taking things as they come to him. The universe is vast and cold and uncaring and he’s only one person in the midst of it all, and he knows that even though he was hatched into a position of pretty high political power, he’s still only ONE troll, and all trolls are killable. So he finds his balance by doing what he can, with what he has, where he is at. His quest is to embody the idea of giving his all, and he is truly awakened when he comes to the conclusion that what he has to give is enough. He is kind enough, tries hard enough, he is good enough just as himself, always bettering the situation around him to the best of his abilities and letting the rest of the universe sort itself out.

Rose Ampora, the most powerful and wealthy troll in Alternia except for one, who she is conveniently pale with. I think she’d be pretty similar to Rose Peixes in that she is driven and ruthless. She is second to no one, she’s top of the hemospectrum, a princess, royalty, she’s smarter, stronger, faster, better and she likes it that way. Her lusus is pretty lax, all things considered, content to go along with whatever she asks Seahorsemom to do, and it’s sort of frustrating that her lusus doesn’t share the same drive as she does, but convenient too, because that means whatever she wants, Seahorsemom will agree to, or at the very least acquiesce. If Rose starts misbehaving, Seahorsemom isn’t likely to enact any discipline, so Rose sort of has the run of the hive. Rose can be pretty mean when she wants to be, convinced of her own authority and superiority and raised on a violent, unfair planet in the deep waters of a violent, freaky ocean. Razor sharp and whip-fast reflexes are necessary to survive the deep sea, and transfer over into her everynight life and conversation styles. John is her best friend, and is the calm to her storm. He’s the one who tells her when she’s being too mean, or when someone wasn’t really trying to pick a fight with her, the one who laughs at other people’s jokes and clues her in that she shouldn’t be tensing up and reaching for her needles, the one who soothes her down and blurs the sharp edges on her, and she’s really, really grateful she has a moirail like John to help take care of her! As Seer of Hope, her goal is to stop focusing so much on the bad, on the violent way things were, she needs to stop thinking that all and any words thrown her way are threats or veiled mockery, and instead try to look towards the good, the prospects of the new world, the way things can become better without having to fight fang and claw for it. She’s always wanted better, you know. Always wanted to be better, herself, better, for her moirail, better, always trying, always clawing desperately for better, but she’s so focused on the negatives that that became impossible for her. As Seer of Hope, she must learn to change her perspective. Also, somewhat unrelated note, but violet Rose would be the best dresser Alternia has ever seen. Just sayin. She’s a disaster at all times always but that sure as hell doesn’t mean she needs to look like one.

Jade Leijon! Raised in a cave in the middle of the woods by an oversized, two-mouthed housecat who loves her! Pounce always seemed pretty spunky, from how Nepeta described her, so Jade still has a high-energy lusus that she can go out gallivanting about with! Jade, I can’t really see being a huntress, which may frustrate Pounce bc go!!!! Hunt!!!! It’s for food!!!!! We are cats!!!! But Jade is very likely content to just eat normal troll food and keeps her rifle on her for protection reasons. Of course, if anything in the forest decides that Jade is prey, it’s gonna lose that fight, and she’ll eat that, but she doesn’t like, go out of her way to hunt things. Having an affectionate cat for a lusus probably means Jade has a good understanding of “tell me to stop touching you and I will” but ALSO is the type of person to get aaaaaaaaaaaaall up in your personal space just like, casually, because she loves you and why wouldn’t she be here!!!! What do you mean you’re busy on the computer no you’re not, it’s time to cuddle with Jade now! Very likely still has her vast variety of interests, but her attention is more apt to flit between them, getting bored with something means immediately dropping it and going to something else. So he’s very smart and very impassioned about her interests, she just has a very non-linear way of going about it! Still super duper friendly and the local sweetheart of everyone, good at finding the way people like to communicate and successfully mimicking the other person’s communication style. This leads to her not being entirely sure of what her own personality is, because she’s a pretty big people pleaser and she feels like she puts on a different “mask” every time she talks to a different person, but really all that means is she’s very in tune to the emotions and personalities of the people she’s engaged with and very skilled at context-based decisions! As Witch of Heart, this is only emphasized, as she is the kind of person who is able to change emotions and the way her soul operates to best fit the needs she is presented with! Her nuanced capabilities are what let her really flourish as Witch of Heart, though sometimes the things that seem obvious to her make her come off as, paradoxically, emotionally distant. OBVIOUSLY her friends feel x way about y things, why are they making everything so complicated??? It’s simple, couldn’t be plainer, her friends are so silly and they can be sorta dumb sometimes, wow! But in reality Jade is the one who has that emotional clarity, and her friends aren’t being dumb, they’re just dealing with feelings and thoughts that are really complicated to them, despite seeming simple to Jade. She’s got a little bit of trouble with understanding that her experiences are not universal- there are some disconnects she’s gotta work through- but she’s deeply caring and very smart so it all works out for the best in the end.

Dave Maryam! So you said that the jadebloods were a female-majority caste and what immediately came to mind was “Dave is trans confirmed” so Dave is trans, confirmed. He lives alone in the desert, with a mothergrub for a lusus and we know the mothergrub really loved Kanaya and was very close to her so Dave has a good lusus, always blessed as a concept 10/10. I imagine he’d actually be really sick of the cold, since deserts get fucking chilly at night, and so he’s more of a daytime person, despite not really knowing why. Obviously he’s not a rainbow drinker, John, that’s absurd. Like how Dave in canon is all “lmao obviously I’m not gay” until he takes the time to figure out that yeah, yeah he is, despite overwhelming signs, that’s Dave with his own rainbowdrinking nature in this. Jade thinks he’s dumb and doesn’t understand what the issue is here. Dave thinks maybe SHES the dumb one, how about that! They’re dumb children and I love them. Isolation is exceedingly not-fun, and Dave can’t really get into photography cause there’s not a lot to photograph out here in the middle of nowhere. Not a lot of shit to die for him to put in jars, either. The ruins he lives close to are very interesting, though, so he ends up something of an archaeologist, digging up those ruins, trying to decipher them, funneling endless hours into those weird rocks and carved frogs and cryptic symbols because it’s one of the only things for him to DO out there in the middle of nowhere. He creates a VAST wealth of comics, also because art is one of the only things he’s able to do out there in the middle of nowhere, and the responses he gets from people who read (but generally don’t fully understand) his comics might be empty and artificial but so is the flimsy validation he gets from seeing his follower count rise and the notes go up. As Knight of Space he is similar to Dave Harley, in that he upholds the balance of the universe and needs to breed the new one, which STILL just means he’s the weird frog dad now. It’s interesting for him bc he always knew he was gonna be working with weird babies of one sort or another, and he was pretty comfortable with the role of fatherhood being something he would eventually assume, but instead of bug people he’s just got. Like. A bunch of weird frogs. Jade come check this out these things are NASTY lol. He enjoys them, but doesn’t form as close of an emotional attachment to them, because he’s been conditioned by Alternia and the structure of how his species reproduces to know that while they’re temporarily in his care, he must eventually set them off to go do their own things (like, say, becoming the universe, for example). His role as a father of these weird paradox frogs is the method by which he protects the universe and it’s existence, which is something that makes him feel incredibly important and gives him a sense of wholeness, which he deserves. 

[amorremanet]

Oh boy, you're one of my all-time favorite content creators so I wanna ask a lot of questions. I'm particularly curious about 1-4, 17, and 19, but I understand that that is a significant amount of questions, so don't feel obligated to answer them all if you don't want to - just do whichever ones you please! 🌸

asks for fanfic writers

number 2 is done over here, but!

1. things that inspire you

……Uh. That’s a good question. tbh, it’s hard for me to pin down a specific set of things because… Sure, quotes or pictures usually help a lot, and so does music, but inspiration comes out of pretty much everywhere, for me, and at any time. Which can be super-frustrating when it happens, like. While I’m driving, or when I can’t get to my phone or a notebook to jot the idea down, but… Sighs. This is life, sadly

3. name three favorite writers — idk if this is supposed to be fan-authors or not but i’m really bad at picking fave fan-authors, so I’m going with not

1. Federico García Lorca — don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here, crying a lot, because García Lorca was such a beautiful soul who wrote such beautiful poems and plays, and THIS!! BADASS!!!! OH MY GOD. He was killed for being a gay man who gave General Franco the middle finger and didn’t just lie down for fascism but fought to try and keep his country from being taken over by said fascists. I love this man, don’t even go there.

2. Fyodor Dostoevsky — it was a really close call between him and Mikhail Bulgakov, because I’m limiting myself to one prolific Russian even though I love them both. But Dostoevsky won out because I’ve loved him longer, and I’ve read more of his stuff than I have Bulgakov’s (which is really saying a lot because Dostoevsky often makes GRRM look positively succinct by comparison) (though in fairness, that’s a bit on his brain; Dostoevsky lived with a form of temporal lobe epilepsy that resulted in hypergraphia and he lived in an age when novels were originally published as serials and you got paid by the word, so much like Darles Chickens, he went on and on and added subplots left right and center because Dostoevsky had to get paid), and The Brothers Karamazov is one of my favorite novels ever.

It’s also secretly hilarious, like. Yes, it’s a door-stopper that has a lot of heavy shit going on, too, with familial dysfunction and murder and all kinds of theology — but don’t try to read this book while you’re drinking something because you will probably choke on it at some point.

3. Adrienne Kennedy (I have admittedly only read one of her plays and I haven’t had the opportunity to see any of her work performed live, but Funnyhouse Of A Negro is legit one of the best works of 20th century American literature. It’s a one-act play, I’m not saying that this is a link to a PDF of it but I’m not not-saying that either if u know what I mean, and it will completely blow your mind — like, it’s so out there, doing stuff that nobody else is doing in the same way, and it’s fucking beautiful)

Honorable Mentions: Anne Rice (because no matter what issues I have with her, and we could be here all night, even if I cut out the, “and here is why Anne Rice is Wrong™ about fanfiction” tirade, because I have a LOT of issues with her? I am still trash garbage for self-indulgent gay Catholic vampires, especially when they helped get me through a lot of really bad downswings by being trashy and self-indulgent, the end)

Neil Gaiman (because no matter what issues I have with him — and there are plenty of them, some personal and some ideological — Good Omens, American Gods, and his run on Sandman are some of my favorite stories ever, they’ve helped get me through some shit much like Anne Rice and JKR have done, and I’ll probably never be over That One Quote from The Kindly Ones about, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it?”)

and Leonard Cohen (I would talk about him more, I feel bad for not doing it but I’m still not ready to deal with his death, even though it’s been a couple months, just? His poetry is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever read, and to be fair, Beautiful Losers isn’t a novel that I’d recommend to everybody but I love it)

4. name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why

1. Augusten Burroughs, Oscar Wilde, and JK Rowling get listed together because they’re in the same post and I’m gonna cheat

2. Kurt Vonnegut — like, I love his stories themselves, of course. The first thing of his that I read was his short story, “Harrison Bergeron”; we read it in seventh grade English and it was so completely unlike literally anything I’d ever seen. The things that were closest to it were Roald Dahl (they had a similar off-kilter sense of humor, though Dahl and Vonnegut are different in how they go about being off-kilter), Fahrenheit 451 (we read it in sixth grade English and it just hit me like a big yellow school bus)

and Animal Farm (which we also read in seventh grade English, and it was on a similar wavelength with “Harrison Bergeron,” as being stuff written by political leftists who weren’t afraid of criticizing the behavior and beliefs of other leftists, but ultimately, Vonnegut and Orwell are two very different kinds of satirists and, for me, Vonnegut always prioritizes the human element of the satire over the ideological element that’s so central to Orwell’s everything ever. Like, neither of them is completely without any grounding in the other’s Big Deal thing, but they still have their preferences, and Orwell’s more about the ideas, to me)

—but “Harrison Bergeron” was still so far out there from anything else I’d ever read before it, and everything else I’ve ever read from Vonnegut continued rocking my world by just going off in his own weird little Kurt Vonnegut direction where he was gonna do his thing and you were just along for the ride. It was so much fun, and completely engaging even if I didn’t always feel like I got it, and I love this about him.

That said, though? The biggest impact that Vonnegut’s had on me is that he showed me that you can write satire without losing all of your compassion or your respect for the human element, which is so fucking important to me, because so many people conflate, “satire” with, “being an asshole”

—like, so many people take, “satire” as carte blanche to be a dickbag to people because they think they’re in the right about whatever’s on their mind, even if they’re trying to satirize people who are in positions of power like Jane Austen allegedly did

(granted, I don’t buy that version of the story with her, but in fairness, that’s because based on what I’ve read of her work, I think Jane Austen was a bitter, self-righteous snob who had no friends and that her so-called, “satire” was really just her being all, “Ugh, these loser preps are so jealous of me but I can’t help it that I’m better than they are” and having literary temper tantrums over the fact that no one wanted to spend more than a few minutes with her because she was a complete asshole who looked down her nose at fucking EVERYBODY)

(I mean, I already stanned for all of the Brontës before I learned that Charlotte had an EPIC hate-on for Jane Austen, but I started stanning for her harder when I first learned the story about how she refused to take on some collaborative project with Jane Austen that someone suggested she do, because based on reading some of Austen’s work, she felt that Austen didn’t have a single ounce of human compassion in her entire withered soul and thought that Jane Austen had more in common with the people who abused Charlotte, her sisters, and their brother Branwell, than with Charlotte herself — but that being said)

Anyway, my point is that Vonnegut is a satirist with a soul, and that’s what I want to be, too. More fabulous and gayer than he was, but still.

3. Terry Pratchett — on a personal note about why I love him, no other writer can make me smile as reliably as the late Sir Terry. Like, if it’s true that Gaiman did most of the heavy-lifting with the plot for Good Omens while Sir Terry did most of the joke-writing, then…… I’m okay with that, really? And it makes sense? Like, Good Omens was the first thing that I ever read by either of them, and its voice has much more in common with Sir Terry’s usual writing than with Neil’s

—but regardless of which of them did what more than whom, Good Omens had a huge effect on my developing sense of humor when I found it at an airport bookstore in middle school, and it was my first real, serious introduction to the idea that you could write a story with all kinds of angels and demons and magic and weird supernatural hijinks that didn’t have to be relegated to the Children’s Lit shelf like HP and Narnia (though Narnia was at least taken seriously when I was a kid, and HP was only taken seriously insofar as people could call it a literally Satanic corrupting influence blah blah whatever bogus arguments they pulled out of their asses), or unrelentingly Serious About All The Things Ever (like Narnia and LOTR)

or such nauseating Christian propaganda that it makes you want to stab CS Lewis’s corpse with a rusty fucking spork (like…… well. Narnia. Which is hilarious because Good Omens literally incorporates elements from the Book of Revelation, and a smattering of stuff from everywhere else in the Bible, while Narnia has a White Witch and a talking Jesus lion and a satyr, and yet, the one whose main characters are an angel, his demonic boyfriend, and the Antichrist is NOT the Christian propaganda here)

Moreover, Sir Terry is such a good example of a writer who grew in quality and also realized when he’d done Less Than Cool things that didn’t actually live up to his philosophical ideals, so he constantly tried to do better with his work. I respect the shit out of that, and I want to be like that as a writer, too.

Also:

That’s the shirt that he wore to conventions: “Tolkien’s Dead. / JK Rowling said no. / Philip Pullman couldn’t make it. / Hi, I’m Terry Pratchett.”

Great shirt, or GREATEST shirt.

Honorable Mentions: Sylvia Plath (because I was a completely cliché white theatre kid goth chick in high school and Sylvia Plath gave me hope that I, too, could write angry, angsty stuff that didn’t have to be all HOOM BAM MACHO like Jack Kerouac and have an audience)

August Strindberg (completely rocked my shit when we read The Ghost Sonata in the Theatre History and Histrionics class I took in my first year of undergrad, because, like Vonnegut, it was totally out-there and so unlike anything else that I’d ever read before. He’s just such a little weirdo and I love it)

John Waters (honorable mention because he’s not an author in the traditional sense exactly, but he’s a content creator and he does write the screenplays for his movies, and he’s gay and weird and a proud freak who’s all about that camp trash #aesthetic and about being gay and weird and freaky, and damn everyone who wants to make you fit in with their arbitrary standards when you’re not hurting anybody, and that’s all Very Important to me, on a personal level and on an Artistic Integrity Feels level)

and Jeffrey Eugenides (I don’t love him quite as much as I used to, back in high school — a lot of the cooling on him started when I learned that he’s straight, when I’d spent most of my adolescence thinking he had to be LGBTIQ, but that then led to an appreciation of some of the other glaring Issues in his books

like how he sort of plays at calling out southeast Michigan’s history of racism and especially of antiblackness in Middlesex, but ultimately ends up replicating it more than he actually calls it out, not to mention how the whole book is really Not Good about it deals with intersex conditions and how it represents intersex people, and it’s really heteronormative in a few ways that are now incredibly frustrating for me because I see them in clearer ways than I did in high school

—but I can’t deny two things: 1. Middlesex and The Virgin Suicides had huge effects on the process of me finding my own voice as a writer, and they both kept me alive in high school, more than once; and 2. Jeff was an inspiration because he’s from the Metro Detroit area, too, and I was totally sure for so long that nobody from ‘round here could really Make It as an author or accomplish anything for ourselves as writers.

Like, I wholeheartedly believed that I was probably doomed because I wasn’t from Somewhere Cool, like JKR, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, or [insert any of the authors I ever had heart-eyes for entirely because They Were From New York!!! That Means They Are A Serious Writer!!!!] — but then along came Jeffrey Eugenides.

I discovered him completely by accident, because the Sofia Coppola movie version of TVS was on TV, and then I found out it was a book and had to read it… and then I found out that he was actually from the Metro Detroit area, and it was just? Whatever issues I have with him or his work, finding out that he was from ‘round here too was A Big Deal to me because !!!!! it meant that I wasn’t totally doomed to never have a future as an actual facts writer because I’m from Michigan instead of from Somewhere Cool)

17. favorite AU to write

ohhhhh man, hard question, because I like most of them.

Well, I mean. I like “correcting canon,” to borrow a term from @addictsitter — but tbh, I get so married to some of those ideas that I easily forget, until I’m called upon to explain it to someone else, that: Scott McCall isn’t canonically autistic and bisexual; Barty Crouch Jr.’s mother is not called, “Demeter” by anyone but me (but much like Braeden’s last name being Tandy because…… Meaghan’s last name flowed really nicely with Braeden’s, and Chris’s boyfriend being named Thierry Kensinger because I googled, “most popular baby names switzerland 1985” and, “most common surnames switzerland” and put together a name that I liked for him, I intend to just treat, “Demeter Lysistrata Gamp Crouch” as if it’s actual canon until everyone agrees with me); and all of my feels about [pick a character]’s gender identity, sexuality, neurodivergence, etc.…… are not necessarily shared by other people until I share them, oops

I like taking the, “non-magical/supernatural/ridiculously traumatic in ways that exceed average human capacity” AU setup for all of my fantasy, sci-fi, horror, Gothic, super-powered, or otherwise speculative fandoms…… and then finding ways to translate the supernatural parts into non-supernatural terms. Like, way back in the SPN fandom, my go-to was that Castiel isn’t so out-of-touch with people because he’s an angel; it’s because he’s autistic.

In Teen Wolf land: well, the Hales are generally not all dead, for one thing, because they’re not werewolves so the Argents had no reason to kill them, and Peter deciding to stalk and abuse Scott and Lydia has no magical components to it, he’s just a fucking creeper who preys on and probably assaults teenagers, possibly while he’s dating their mothers (since he’s canonically hit on both Melissa and Natalie, and went out with Melissa that one time in s1).

Then, Jackson’s kanima plot from s2 can be translated into non-magic terms as, for an example, Matt murdering the swim team on his own and dragging Jackson into it after Jackson witnesses one of the murders (I usually move Tucker the Mechanic to earlier and have Jackson be the accidental witness to his murder instead of Stiles), and instead of there being magical mind control murder lizard hijinks, Matt abuses and manipulates Jackson non-magically, Jackson falls harder into his fledgling drinking problem that came up a couple times back in s1 but was never mentioned again, and it’s Bad before Matt eventually gets caught and sent to prison. Even helping send him to prison with a promise of immunity in exchange for his testimony, Jackson doesn’t tell the whole story — not even to Danny — because there’s a lot of it that he’s trying to block out, or that he isn’t really ready or able to fully understand himself.

Or like in the Marvel theatre kids AU that I play around in sometimes, uh. Frankly, trying to make Thor and Loki into humans is kind of an enormous dumpster fire (a dumpster fire that I’ve enjoyed working on, personally, but still: dumpster fire) — also, for the link: cw for death, murder, kidnapping, emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, (mostly inexplicit) references to torture and ethnically-motivated hate crimes, discussion of war crimes (more inexplicit than not but still), and hardcore douchebag!Odin (as in, he is the one perpetuating most of these war crimes, that is what I mean when I say, “douchebag Odin”)

But, uh. The characters who are not Norse gods are easier to put into non-spandexed terms — like, Bucky’s “winter soldier” plot involves emotional and psychiatric abuse; Sam hasn’t been in the military yet because he is in high school but his wing-man Riley died in a freak accident at Jr. ROTC summer camp; Pietro and Wanda are Erik’s cousins instead of his kids because otherwise I couldn’t have all three of them, and anyway, he’s ridiculously overprotective of them and will probably hurt you if you touch them; Nick Fury is the much beleaguered director of the theatre club, who is trying to (more or less) single-handedly save the entire fine arts department;

and Wade Wilson isn’t on drugs, he’s just like that naturally (“like that” here having the meaning of any number of possible ridiculous things but right now, let’s go with, “following Logan Howlett: Professor of Art™ around the mall on Saturday, narrating the entire thing like an episode of Crocodile Hunter, and dragging Peter Parker with him because Peter actually answered his phone when Wade called him at Too Early On A Saturday O’Clock and he has no idea why they’re doing this, but okay”)

And I was going to be sad because it’s 3:15 AM now and I didn’t feel like I had the energy left to talk about one completely ridiculous Star Wars AU in detail — but I remembered that I actually had a post about it a while back!

Short version: It’s seriously Keeping Up With The Skywalkers, just. Not rich and famous or anything. Also, no one is dead. Except Palpatine, probably. Anakin is a late-in-life closet bisexual who is doing his best to ignore this la la la, Padmé figured out that she was a lesbian after being with him for a while and is now married to Ahsoka — his ex-foster sister — instead, Obi-Wan was their friend in college and he and Anakin had A Thing before someone (Anakin) fell in with a really shitty homophobic pastor-local politician-crime lord who manipulated him (Palpatine) and a messy as fuck break-up ensued and Anakin has been trying to jump in Denial River ever since

(not that Obi-Wan can judge: he became Luke’s mentor when Luke was in college, knows that “Skywalker” isn’t a very common name and that Anakin and Padmé named their son, “Luke,” and he still totally glossed over how he, uh. Knew Anakin a few times over by calling him by his weirdo religious-political-mafia nickname, Darth Vader, in all the stories he told Luke, lol um, whoops?)

Luke is a soft gay activist but Leia is a hard bi activist who’s better at activist work that is more easily understood as activisty while Luke is better at stuff like community building and housing LGBTIQ kids who need places to stay in his spare rooms, Han is married to Leia but probably also kinda married to Lando in Canada (they were drunk, it’s complicated, but Lando is accepted as Basically Family by pretty much everyone. Anakin calls him, “the son-in-law I should have had” when he’s in a pissy mood with Han, which happens often), Chewie is Han’s incredibly hirsute old friend who has no sense of volume control (no one knows why his nickname is, “Chewbacca,” but Han insists that the story doesn’t make sense if you weren’t there), and the Falcon is an old van that’s constantly held together by duct tape, chewing gum, and luck

KyBen is constantly getting in trouble for being a bullying little shit to Poe and Finn on the playground (which is coming out of a lot of things, like, “Ben hates them for being more popular than he is,” and, “Ben hates them for being better at school than he is,” and, “Ben hates Finn specifically because wtf no, how dare you be so charming and make Poe Dameron smile like he likes you, this isn’t fair, Ben was like SO CLOSE to figuring out how to make Poe like him [not really], he’s going to go listen to a metal cover of, ‘You Belong With Me’ in his room and throw things, fuck everybody, he hates this town and this school and his family UGH IT’S NOT A PHASE DAD”)

Poe and Finn really just want that annoying Ben kid to leave them alone already like what is his deal, Hux and Phasma don’t like KyBen either (they just got stuck with him on hall monitor rotations and have to keep him from breaking people’s faces or else it will reflect badly on them), and Rey is a plucky, somewhat abrasive new girl who warms up really quickly if you’re genuinely nice to her and one time beat up Phasma to get her off of Finn because Finn was nice to her so Rey decided that they should be friends. Rey just moved to town with her adoptive dad

Obi-Wan is her adoptive dad

Anakin has the face-crack of the century

and Luke doesn’t want to detract from how hard this is for you, Dad, but is SUPER NOT IMPRESSED WITH EITHER OF YOU for totally failing to mention that you knew each other like???? WHAT. Fuck this, he’s gonna go to Tosche Station and then go have dinner at Mom’s with her and Aunt Ahsoka, this is bullshit

(Luke storms out of his own house, leaving Anakin and one of the kids who’s staying in one of the spare rooms standing in the kitchen super-awkwardly)

(update: it is 3:36 AM now, and I’m still doing better than expected, given how far off the point I’ve wandered here)

19. favorite fandom to write

Uh. Good question.

Cop-out answer that has a basis in fact: right now, my favorite fandom to write technically doesn’t entirely exist yet because I’m still making it up and the fandom won’t be A Thing until the novel’s actually done and people can read it. (And it’s not guaranteed to be A Thing but I’d really like it if I ever got to have a fandom based around something I wrote with my OCs. Like, even all of #The Discourse™, while probably incredibly frustrating on several levels, would be so flattering and I’d be beside myself because ksdfgkfgherb????!!!?! people??? liked??? this thing i wrote???!!!?!!?! enough to make a fandom?????!!!!!!!?!!!! *as yet hypothetical pterodactyl screech!!!!*)

Attempt at an actual answer: Right now, I’m sort of between fandoms a bit. HP is always my good go-to, because there’s always something to do there and even if Sailor Moon was technically here first, HP was my first fandom where I was really actively involved, in more ways than just going, “Huh, what does, ‘mpreg’ mean?” and clicking on that one NC-17 Aragorn/Legolas fic that abruptly shoved tiny eleven-year-old Kassie into the deep end of what goes on in fandom.

(Though in all due fairness, the first fanfic I ever posted online was some crack-ass HP/Sailor Moon crossover with a totally overpowered and inexplicably American Mary Sue self-insert OC. I was coming up on twelve, probably lying on my profile on that site and saying I was 13, and bless the person who took the time to leave a review going, “Hey, I know you’re young and this is a first effort on your part, but you show a lot of imagination here and that’s worth nurturing. BUT you’re not going to get much of anywhere if you don’t work on it and here are a few sources where you can start looking for help at developing characters better. I mean this to help you, so please don’t stop writing or having fun with it. But you can learn to do better, too.”

And then I asked for a copy of Nancy Kress’s book, Dynamic Characters, for my birthday, my parents found it at Borders, and the rest was history.)

(nb: this should definitely be read as me reccing that book. It’s not a perfect guide by any means, but it’s still one of my go-to’s for help with writing and inspiration for character development, and it’s a very solid, reliable resource. Like, I love it so much that I taped and glued my first copy back together about three times because it wore out from how much I read it and how I carried it almost everywhere, and then made buying a new copy a priority when I couldn’t put the old one back together anymore. but anyway.)

So, yeah. HP is my good go-to, and idk, I kind of want to try writing more than headcanons in the YOI fandom, buuuuut I’m not entirely sure where to start with that just yet — or where I want to start, aside from, “No matter what the actual main subject is, it will probably involve Chris doing IDEK what, something ridiculous probably” — and……

Well, the cop-out answer has a basis in fact? My original novel’s been getting most of my writing time and attention lately, so there’s that?