#boy howdy those objects sure aren't permanent

[somecunttookmyurl]

adhd people using the words "object permanence" to convey "i forget things exist when i stop looking at them" in a way that makes it clear it's more than just "regular old forgetfulness" aren't infantilising themselves, yeah. it is in fact mostly people with adhd trying to communicate a thing who are using it though.

"it's in the notion people with adhd can't text back because of object permanence (a thing babies develop"

it's... almost certainly going to be someone with adhd explaining something that they learned of this "notion" anyway. not someone without adhd just deciding to have a discussion about that with another non-adhder for shits n gigs

there is considerable debate over exactly what to call it to communicate it without going in exasperated circles about "no, not like regular forgetting things" and "no, not because i hate you"

honestly to someone who doesn't know (or fully understand) the child development term "object permanence" it's very evocative of "object stops existing to me until i see it again or a specific memory trigger happens"

[for those who don't have adhd here's a nice frankly perfect example.

i opened my microwave last week and was genuinely shocked to find a - now mouldy - cup of tea in there. i can logically reverse engineer what i did (forgot it, went cold, saw it and remembered, put it in the microwave to reheat, shut door, forgot it existed immediately, later rediscovered it like a particularly shit archaeologist) but not only do i have no actual memory of any of this, and thus no IDEA how long it had been there... i also forgot about owning the specific mug in there and didn't notice it was missing. i use it frequently. but above all i really was not expecting there to be anything to be in the microwave.

you can see how this is 2 inches to the left of "regular forgetting" that "everyone gets" - especially when it happens with everything all the time including entire people (it's not you it's me)

but if i relayed this story to you and described it "like an object permanence thing" your response would likely be "that makes sense. those objects aren't permanent also are you okay" (no)]

what's infantilising is people saying "that isn't a thing that that's a BABY thing for BABIES are you dumber than a BABY" whilst conveniently completely skipping over the thing you were explaining to start with. behind which is inevitably "that's a baby thing for babies not a real adhd thing therefore you are making it up/making excuses/everyone does that/cope"

a "notion" if you will (and a notion which isn't why you forgot to text them back)

This was an interesting article to read. I think it's a little simple but still fun to skim thru.