#both were such violent and vile cases that had repercussion for a reason

[envolvenuances]

this is them. Luana on the left was 34 and beaten to death by three cops after demanding her legal right to being fisked by a female officer and not a male. Ana Caroline on the right was 21 and was kidnapped one night and tortured to death found with her face hairline and ears completely ripped in a case that is still considered unsolved.

I keep being told to get over it I knew neither of those women. but I can't get over just how young they looked. 21 and all we hear is she had no crime history, violent episodes or known enemies. "such a mystery" the police and news say.

genuinely still not over how upset I was we made the Lesbian and Bisexual Women's March of this year about lesbocide and particularly highlighting and mourning the recent cases of Carol Campelo (in Maranhão) and Luana Barbosa (in São Paulo itself). which was already a struggle to accomplish I participated in and commented on a bit. but on the following day the general Pride Parade in São Paulo was held and through the entire day I only counted one mention of them by a trans woman politician. and zero mentions of the lesbocides in Buenos Aires our neighbour country on this very year

[zekhromss]

i think it’s interesting how we as a Society treat masochism very differently than say, sadism, despite them being nearly the same thing.  also this isnt about kinky shit this is about physically doing harm to yourself/others.

and in part, i know it’s because masochism can manifest in any way, youre not always capable of seeing someone being particularly masochistic.  but i think we should, because it’s not a mindset thats productive for oneself or...anyone.

when we see someone doing any kind of harm to themselves, the immediate response is never “you need to stop”, even if it’s of equal or greater intensity than the harm someone would perform on someone else in the pursuit of sadism.  we think it’s different because this person would know their own limits, would know when enough is enough.  and since theyre doing it to themselves, is it our place to tell them to stop?

but since it’s a subconscious response, is the person in question aware of what theyre doing?  obviously if you saw someone physically cutting themselves, physically causing mutilation like that, youd tell them to stop, or encourage them to do so.  but that’s an action that has direct repercussions; the person in question can see what theyve done and in many cases, regret their decision.

but what about less extreme masochism?  what about the little things, like intentionally cutting off circulation because they enjoy the feeling of “sleep limbs”?  what about drinking too much caffeine because you enjoy the feeling of your heart racing and the sound of blood in your ears?  what about intentionally depriving yourself of sleep, what about intentionally depriving oneself of nourishment (not in excess)?

these things, as theyre not directly causing harm, arent things we ever take seriously.  drinking excessive caffeine is seen as harmless fun (we all need caffeine, dont we?), everyone does sleepless nights, everyone has some kind of issue where we skip meals.  so is it masochism, or is it simply being human?  are all humans predisposed to self-torture?  why?  is it the rush of adrenaline the body gives us when it’s in danger, is it an abuse of your bodys natural response to pain?  are masochists therefore more likely to abuse substances because theyve become dependent on the rush of euphoria that follows temporary inconvenience?  this could be true, as we see people who willingly put themselves into extremely stressful situations and workplaces where denying yourself the pleasures of life in pursuit of monetary gain typically fall onto harder drugs, like cocaine or heroin (speaking specifically on office workers, who are encouraged to outdo everyone else for personal gain).

has society encouraged the rise of casual masochism, which then in turn puts more people at risk?  have we created a world where there’s no other stimulus, and most people arent willing to become sadistic to get out their need for some kind of pain response?  is that why we view these tiny acts of self-harm as admirable or necessary?

human beings are empathetic and kind beings; we have a sense of community and morality which tells us Hurting Others is bad. if you intentionally cause harm to others, youre rightfully shamed from society (excluding CEOs, etc. because theyve long since revoked the title of human imo, also going into propaganda, etc is just gonna bring me off-topic).

but what if we viewed the Self as a separate being?  you are unaware of your subconscious mind, you dont know what it wants, you arent aware of what it’s doing.  most “borderline” masochistic tendencies (even so far as nail-biting until it causes pain), arent conscious actions.  you dont choose to do them; your brain sends an encrypted signal and you just...do it.  so then, is masochism a primitive response?  do we have control over what we do to ourselves?  is sadism, by extension, the same thing?  do they choose to want to harm others?  why is masochism seen as admirable and level-headed, and sadism seen as a conscious decision?  is it just because we know hurting others is morally wrong, and we dont consider ourselves to be counted as an Other to be hurting?

the real answer, obviously, is our impression of empathy.  the existence of consent.  you shouldnt burn someone else, thats a whole other person who doesnt deserve to be put through what youve decided you want to do to them.  you can burn yourself (though you shouldnt), because you have decided that thats...what you want to do.

the reality of the situation is that, comparing masochism to sadism is impossible.  sure, they may be rooted in the mind’s desire for pain, but they are fundamentally different, because one is choosing for others and one is choosing for yourself.  but they should be considered one and the same in spite of this.  

people who are, for lack of a better term, “normal” (rather, neurotypical), would typically never do either.  they dont understand why youd want to hurt somebody else, and they dont understand why youd want to hurt yourself.  sadistic and masochistic tendencies are likely caused by some form of neurodivergence that separates you from your own subconscious mind.  you dont get a rush from normal activities, you need to take out your frustration and feelings of “lack of personhood” to remind yourself youre human, or someone else is human (for masochism and sadism, respectively).

this isnt to say if youre neurodivergent, it’s alright to do either one (because it isnt).  it’s also not to say if you are neurodivergent, youre absolutely going to be inclined to take one of the two paths (or both!).  i suffer from sado-masochistic tendencies, but the only reason i possess either one is...because i either:

1) decide “i” have done something that requires punishment (violence on “other”)

2) decide “i” have a requirement to be punished (violence on “self”),

and this is determined by “who i am” at the time.  it should be noted that since i am still “the same person”, both of these mental decisions could be considered masochistic in nature, regardless of if i feel like i’m doing harm to myself in some cases.

fact of the matter is, we are all prone to masochism.  we do not view it as violence (before it gets excessive and physically mutilating in nature), we view it as discipline.  we view it as self-help (wrongfully).  we dont view it as real harm, because we view it as “they are in control.  they know what theyre doing to themselves”.

but i believe we should all consider ourselves as Others.  if you wouldnt deprive another human of nourishment, if you wouldnt deprive someone of sleep, if you wouldnt file down someones nails until they bled, if you wouldnt junk someone up on caffeine to see what it does to them, what any of it does to them, you should keep an eye open for you doing it to yourself.  because you are still a human, you are still a person, you can have a higher tolerance for pain and still not feel it necessary to provoke that.  you have to be aware of what youre truly craving, and replace the pain response with that.

masochism is merely sadism.  you are sadistic with yourself.  you torture yourself.  you knowingly cause yourself stress and pain, and why?  because you do not feel as though it has repercussions.  but then youre no different from an “actual” sadist who tortures others because they believe it has no repercussions.  you have to view yourself as a person, as someone capable of being severely harmed.  you have to look on your actions and think “would this traumatize someone”, because then youre traumatizing yourself.  nobody even has to do anything; youre triggering a panic response and causing psychological harm.  now you cant trust yourself because youd do something so violent and vile.  but youve done it to yourself, so who’s to blame?  would your brain really make you do something that would cause so much harm?  if your brain does it, then is it really that bad if someone else were to do it to you?  and then rinse and repeat until youre potentially looking for someone else to do it to you, so you can test your own hypothesis.

in conclusion, masochism and sadism are not held to the same terms on account of the context.  but that isnt to say they arent two sides of the same coin; they cannot be rightfully compared, but that does not make them inherently mutually exclusive.  by taking advantage of potential neurodivergence, and acknowledging what a “lack of Self” can do to your brain to make you a target of your own latent abusive tendencies, you can take steps to eliminate that response to panic (inclusive of rage, depression, apathy, dissociation, etc.) and instead focus on what you would do if you had to face yourself as a separate person.  instead of keeping yourself awake for nights on end because “i havent finished this, im too stressed, i deserve to be harmed because i didnt complete this task”, consider the fact that doing that to yourself will have no differing results than if you tortured a colleague and friend with sleeplessness; it will not work, it will only make them less inclined and capable of performing whatever task they (you) didnt initially complete to provoke that reaction.  be kind to yourself.