#both Thea's relationship and Anna's pregnancy are a case of Story Progession Writes The Plot

[townsenddecades]

1331 – Day 2 – Crawley Residence

Theodora is a little apprehensive when her mother summons her and her father to her parents’ chambers, with an odd look on her face and the explanation that she needs to tell them something. Can she have guessed what Theodora is planning? Is that why she wants to talk to her and her father without her grandparents overhearing?

But wouldn’t she look angrier then, instead of simply…strange?            

When her father has closed the door behind them, she gives them a tired smile. “I’m sure both of you have noticed that I’ve been ill rather often as of late.”

“And that is something to smile about?”, George asks, frowning.

“It is in this case, because I’m very sure that I’m with child again.”

From her earliest childhood, Theodora has been taught that staring at people one owes respect is impolite. She has always tried to keep to that, but in this case, she is sure that she can be excused for her disbelief, given that her father is staring at her mother as if she had sprouted a second head.

She doesn’t know why the news shocks her so much. Her mother is thirty-seven – certainly not a young woman anymore, but not quite past childbearing age. Maybe it’s the fact that her sister has just had a little girl, or that she herself is old enough to be wed now.

But while her mother may not be too old to conceive, she is certainly at an age at which doing so is dangerous. Her worry is reflected on her father’s face, as shock morphs into concern.

“Are you sure? You haven’t conceived since…”

“I know”, she says, taking his hands in hers. “And I am sure. I wouldn’t have told you otherwise.”

“I’m glad we’ll have a chance to have another child”, he says, still with that worry in his eyes. “But I know this pregnancy might be dangerous for you. At your time of life…”

“Are you calling me old, George Crawley?”

Not even the teasing edge in her voice can lift the seriousness from her father’s face, which makes her sober as well. She sighs. “I know it’s not without its dangers, but older women than I have safely delivered children. I can’t say that I’m not apprehensive at all, but this could be the son we have been praying for all these years.”

“I think I’d prefer you alive and well to a brother, Mother”, Theodora says. She isn’t sure if she should be speaking, but her parents obviously consider her old enough to hear that sort of talk now. She is of age to marry herself, after all.

Anna turns to her at that, letting go of her father’s hands to grasp hers instead. There is that gentle smile on her face always put on in the past when she wanted to comfort Theodora after a nightmare or any other frightening event. “It will be fine, my girl. I promise you.”

“I’ll rely on that, Mother.”

But privately, she thinks that this changes everything. Oh, she isn’t worried about her inheritance – although it will be affected should the child be a living boy. But it changes her plans, drastically so. Because there is one thing Theodora Crawley irrefutably knows: she cannot leave. Not now.

And she fears that that fact might break more than her own heart.

A few days – or rather, nights – later, she deliberates whether to meet her Balwin at all. She has promised it, but that had been before her mother’s revelation. What would be the point of such a risk now? There is no question in her mind that the night will end differently than they had originally planned. Planning to elope was fine and good before, but now, with her mother in such a delicate state, she knows she cannot cause her such heartache.  

Sending him a message would be less painful. But he can’t read, and messengers talk. And he deserves to hear her reasons from her lips. She owes him that much.

So, in the end, she still goes. She waits until the house has fallen silent, her parents and grandparents and the servants fast asleep, quietly dresses herself again and slips out onto the streets unnoticed. It is deepest night. The only people that should be out and about now are the watchmen, and she has learned to avoid those quite well.

The frosty weather, winter’s first grasping fingers, is an aid to her, helps her greatly. Her teeth may chatter as she presses against a wall in an archway to avoid a watchman’s eyes, but the cold also keeps most vagabonds out of the streets.

Slowly, carefully, makes her way to the gate nearest to her family’s home. As planned, Balwin’s watchman friend is there, but he looks a little surprise at her lack of baggage.

“I’ll be back in a while”, she says quietly as she slips through the door he opens for her. “Can I count on you to let me back into town?”

“Have gotten cold feet, have you?”

“Not exactly.” But her exact reasonings are none of his business, so she keeps them to herself. She doubts that her mother would appreciate her spreading the word, even if she finds it unlikely that anyone would much care what some guard had to say about a high-standing family like hers. She turns around. “I will explain it to Balwin. But I need to be home by dawn. So, will you let me back in?”

“If I have to.”

“You will”, she says shortly, before turning away from the door to hasten to her destination. Young women like her shouldn’t walk around outside the town walls’ protection on a night like this. If she were caught, it would ruin her reputation. But back when they had made this plan, her reputation in town hadn’t mattered anymore, because she would never have seen it again anyway.

That’s different now. But still, she hastens towards the old lighthouse, deserted now. She is alone there when she arrives, but she knows that it is only a matter of time until her love arrives.

In her excited state, the wait feels endless, although in reality, she likely isn’t alone for more than a few minutes. She knows that in another world, one where her mother isn’t expecting another child, she would be anxious for different reasons. She’d be worried about a future on the run, about whether she might be stood up because her love has changed his mind.

Now, she is anxious because she fears his reaction to her having changed hers.

She doesn’t know whether to sigh with relief or to flee when she hears his thread, so familiar now, on the stone steps leading up to the door. Yet, she is in his arms in a moment once she sees him, pulling his face down to hers to kiss him. It is wanton and not at all as modest as she has been taught to be, but she is too high-strung to care about that now. Besides, nothing about their relationship has ever been appropriate.

She shouldn’t even have met him, really. The daughter of a gentleman and a fisherman’s son hardly move in the same social circles. But there is a lot that can happen when two young people happen to be without their guardians on market day. Especially when the young man helps the young woman out of a tight spot.

They got to talking after that, and despite their social differences, she quickly found herself falling for the slightly ragged, handsome young man. But all the while, she had known that her family would never approve. The army of far more affluent, well-positioned men they have introduced her to is a testament to that.

It can only be a matter of time before they arrange a betrothal for her, which is exactly why Balwin and her had planned to elope.

Unlike her, he has taken a bundle with him, things he would need on the road, which fall to the ground with a soft thud as he takes her into his arms to return her kiss. Only after a few moments does he gently untangle himself from her. “Were you worried I wouldn’t come, to greet me like that?”

“Of course not.” Her voice is shaking. She should tell him now, but she doesn’t know where to start. “I’m just glad to see you.”

“Good”, he says with a smile. “Because if we manage to get away, we will have to keep apart from everyone else for a while. Where’s your baggage? We should leave as soon as possible.”

“I haven’t taken anything with me. I…I can’t leave now, Balwin. I’m sorry.”

“What?”

The different emotions flickering over his face – confusion, disappointment, hurt – nearly undo her and make her want to take it back. But how could she do that? She hasn’t left a note. She doesn’t have anything on her but the clothes on her back. She couldn’t possibly leave like this, even if she still wanted to.

She puts a hand on his cheek, looking into his eyes, trying to make him see how sorry she is. “I haven’t changed my mind about us”, she says earnestly. “But my family’s circumstances have changed. My mother has told us that she is with child again.”

He frowns. “So?”

She stares at him in disbelief. “Me running away would upset her terribly. I was sorry about that before, but in this state, it could kill her or my little brother or sister!”

“I’m sure it can’t be that serious.”

“It is”, she says bluntly, annoyed that he doesn’t seem to share her concern. He has a mother too, hasn’t he? “My sister and I are her only living children. Why do you think that is? She has had many more pregnancies, and all of them ended either in stillbirths or miscarriages. I won’t risk that happening again.”

She can tell that he still doesn’t like it, but after a moment, he sighs. His shoulders sag. “But your mother has your father and the rest of the family. Won’t that be enough?”

“Now you’re being obtuse”, she says, but she can’t help the sadness in her own voice. “You know that’s not the same. I’m not saying that I changed my mind. I still want to be with you, and I still know that I won’t be able to have that here. I don’t want to call off the plan, just…postpone it, until Mother has been delivered of her child.”

“Our plan was to vanish before the winter snows block the road. If we wait for the birth of your brother or sister, we won’t be able to leave before spring.”

“I know.”

“And your parents could just decide to marry you off before winter’s end.” He takes a few steps away from her, shaking his head. “I understand your reasons, Thea. I really do. But don’t you see what this means for us?”

“Even if my parents do find a groom for me, that won’t keep me. I’m prepared to throw my entire life away for you. Why would being betrothed stop me?”

“And having a husband?” he asks quietly. “Would that stop you?”

That makes her hesitate. Running from the altar is one thing. Her family won’t be happy, and neither will the family of whatever man they choose for her, not to mention that being promised to someone is nearly as binding as a marriage itself. But if she were to be married, even against her will, any marriage she would contract after that would be invalid. Her children would be illegitimate.

She takes a deep breath. “I will make sure it won’t go that far.”

“And I can’t change your mind?”

He looks at her as if he is sure that this is the end for them. Maybe it is. A lot can happen in two years. But she knows in her heart that she would never forgive herself if she ran away now and something happened to her mother because of it.

“No. I’m sorry.”

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