#boosari's friends˚୨୧⋆｡˚

[boosari]

hii congrats on 300!

thank you skye <33 you're such a sweetheart

[boosari]

this is so cute i'm - 😭😭😭

spoiler: i kinda like u | hansol vernon chwe

SYNOPSIS. in which you share earphones with the boy on the train. PAIRING. hansol vernon chwe x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, kinda strangers to lovers, implied college au WARNINGS. none, i don't think WORD COUNT. 1715

requested by @enhazen

notes: this is a late birthday gift to you shay <3

It's a recurring thing at this point: you board the train to and from university, sit at the very same spot each time, and then you wait for him. You know he goes to the same university as you because you recognise the school hoodie that he wears sometimes, and you both always get off at the same stop before going on your own ways.

And then he sits next to you. Yes, next to you. Why is that? Because the moment he takes his place next to you on the train, he offers an earphone towards you.

It had all started the moment he noticed you glancing down at his phone at a particular movie he was watching, seemingly interested despite not hearing a single thing and simply reading the captions. You didn't think he would notice, but he does, and a few minutes later you find an earphone being offered in your direction. At that point, you gave him the grand nickname of the cute boy on the train, because there wasn't any other way to describe him.

Then whenever the train reaches your shared stop, the two of you seemingly exchange a knowing glance with each other as if communicating Have a good day, which later became, Same time tomorrow? in the present day, with the addition of that small smile to his face that always makes your heart jump. You like to think that it grows wider a bit every day.

Conversations hardly stretched beyond sharing your thoughts of the movie, except for the one time you mustered the courage to finally ask for his name. His name is Vernon. The cute boy on the train now has a name.

When Vernon boards the train today, he already has his earphones in, head bopping to a song blasting in his ears. As he catches sight of you, you see the way his eyes widen ever so slightly when he notices you were both wearing the same school hoodie in different colours. Then he sits next to you, and you feel the warmth of his arm grazing against yours for a moment. Swiftly, he switches his screen from music to Netflix, scrolling to find the movie you were watching together yesterday, before offering an earphone to you like it was routine.

You take his earphone gratefully and plug it in your ear, scooting a bit closer to the point where the sleeves of your hoodies were barely touching.

“I… may have accidentally seen a spoiler earlier,” Vernon tells you guiltily, his voice low.

You scoff as if offended. “You promised you wouldn’t.”

His ears grow red. “Dude, it-it popped up on my for you page, and then I couldn’t scroll past it because of the WIFI𑁋”

You can't help but let out a quiet chuckle, shaking your head playfully. “It’s fine, I’ll let it slide. Just be more careful next time, and don't scroll through TikTok or reels or whatever."

Vernon elicits a sigh of relief, a sheepish grin to his face. “I’ll try my best.”

The movie begins, and you quickly find yourselves engrossed. The train sways gently as you both fade into the story playing on the screen, and you were leaning more towards him to get a better angle of the movie. The two of you attempt to keep in your giggles whenever the humourous scenes pop up, or whisper comments to each other during the intense moments that you can barely hear for the sake of not disturbing anyone around you. 

At times, you notice that Vernon occasionally steals glances in your direction to make sure you’re still paying attention, which you are. You pinpoint the way his lips curl into a small smile whenever your eyes meet, and it makes you shyly avert your gaze back down to the movie.

Sometimes he makes comments on particular scenes as if he was in his own little world, and you can't help but listen to every word. It's adorable, because you see the way his eyes light up whenever he speaks, and you wonder if he's some sort of secret movie critic.

In his own time, he probably is, to be honest.  

As the movie continues, you feel your head slowly succumbing to a certain heaviness, finding yourself gradually leaning more against Vernon's shoulder. It's not intentional, but Vernon doesn't seem to mind; in fact, he subtly adjusts to a more comfortable position. Today was oddly exhausting, and you were really trying hard not to let it show as the movie plays.

But when the first yawn escapes your lips, you knew your body was beginning to surrender to the tiredness.

When the movie reaches a calm scene, you feel your eyelids droop. You're still trying your best to stay awake to not miss anything, but the need to lay your head down on something and the swaying of the train fight back. Vernon mutters something about the scene on the screen, but you can barely hear it.

As you press more against his shoulder, Vernon's gaze flicker down at you, and when he catches sight of your fluttering eyes, he pauses the movie and tries to shift his shoulder, making sure your head doesn’t hang off. But the movement jerks your eyes open suddenly.

“Sorry, I-I was watching.” Then you blink a few times and end up yawning again, a heat of embarrassment sprouting in your face as Vernon softly chuckles.

He watches the way you rub tiredly at your eyes and straighten your posture, before clearing his throat a bit loudly.

“You can… lean on my shoulder if you’re tired. I don’t mind. We can watch next time."

You glance at his eyes and then to his shoulder, a blush creeping up your cheeks as you meet his gaze again. “Are you sure? I wouldn't... want to be all up in your personal space."

All he does is smile gently. “Yeah, it's fine. I’ve got you.”

You take a moment to encase his words in your heart, before shifting closer to him and letting your head find its rightful place on his shoulder. Closing your eyes, you take in the scent of his hoodie and the warmth radiating from his body. 

On the other hand, Vernon tenses for a split second when he feels you settle next to him, before quickly relaxing. Turning on his phone again, he lowers the volume and selects a calm and soft song, the sound flowing directly through the earphone in your ear, his fingers rhythmically tapping against his leg.

After some time, Vernon glances down at you curiously. Your mouth was slightly open, soft breaths floating in the air, appearing peaceful as ever. He just smiles to himself, finding a yawn of his own leaving his own lips, and his heartbeat quickens nervously to a sudden thought popping in his mind.

No, he can't do that, but the exhaustion felt contagious. Perhaps playing a calm song was a bad idea (for him, at least), his eyelids growing heavier as the song shifts to the relaxing sounds of a piano. He feels his body inch impossibly closer to you, then after a long moment of contemplation, he lets his head slowly tilt until it rests on top of yours.

Somehow, it's enough to ease the tiredness tugging at him. He's careful not to disturb you, but little did he know that the moment you felt a certain pressure land at the crown of your head, your drowsy awareness woke back up, and you notice the way his fingers slow its tapping on his leg, before finally halting.

You take in a long, deep shaky inhale, before closing your eyes again, your heart racing an marathon in your chest. His head against yours feels weirdly comfortable.

The two of you rest side by side on a train filled with people in their own quiet headspace. LIke a movie, the scenery changes outside, but this moment right now is frozen, and time seems to slow. Vernon manages to keep himself awake, knowing that one of you has to be aware of when your stop is. His gaze remains out the window, but his thoughts centre curiously around you.

And then, as all rides must, it nears its end. Vernon stirs beside you, his head lifting off yours as he takes a second to stretch out his legs, being cautious not to startle you.

Then as some other people gather their belongings, he taps a few times to the top of your head.

"Hey," he murmurs softly. "We're here."

He swears he feels his heart race to heart beating loudly in his chest as he watches you slowly rise. Your eyes flutter open, and you blink groggily at him, then glance around realising that the train was slowly coming to your familiar stop.

"Thanks," You mumble sleepily.

"You looked like you needed it," Vernon teases lightly as he grabs his backpack.

You rub at your eyes again, scratching at the back of your neck shyly. "Yeah, uh... Sorry about that. I really wanted to watch the movie but I guess I was just too tired. Long day, you know?"

He just gives you a warm smile. "Don't worry about it. We can watch another time."

As the train comes to a complete stop and the doors slide open, you both gather your belongings and step out onto the platform. The day had reached the beginning of the evening, and the sky was painted in an array of pink and orange. You both walk together, a comfortable silence between puncuated by the occasional sounds of the city and the shuffling of other people around you.

When you both fully exit out of the premises, you turn to look each other and exchange that same look.

"See you tomorrow?" You ask him with hopeful, apologetic eyes.

He gives a simple nod, offering you a faint smile. "Definitely."

Then the two of you trail in your usual opposite directions, and as you feel the cool air meet the skin of your hands, you stuff them inside the pockets of your hoodie.

But then you feel something brush against your fingers. Taking it out, you realise it's a folded up piece of paper.

And upon unfolding it, you read the words on the page:

get some good rest tn :) ps. txt me when you see this also shhhh i'm gonna tell you the spoiler....

i kinda like u :) XXX-XXX-XXXX

╱l (°ˎ。 7 |、 ~〵 じし ˍ ,)ノ - vern

It makes you freeze in your step, and when you spin around with a wide smile to hopefully catch sight of Vernon, you see that he wasn't anywhere to be found.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle

[boosari]

buse! hope you've been doing well love <3

rania, hello, i've been doing great, how are you? <3

[boosari]

hii sorry for the late response but my day was good too!

i'm happy to hear that skye!😚

[boosari]

hello! how's your day been

hi skye! it's been great hopefully, stayed home today and did some of my homework, nothing much. how about yours? ><

[boosari]

so delulu for this man

━☆ first kiss with seventeen: seungkwan

♡ first kiss with seventeen series ♡ masterlist ♡

pairing: seungkwan x reader

warnings: kissing, fluff

wordcount: 375

you were staring at seungkwan as he told you something. he was telling you some gossip he'd heard at work and but were you listening? no. you were too busy thinking about something else - about kissing seungkwan to be exact.

it was stupid to admit but you had a silly little dream about seungkwan kissing you and now you couldn't stop thinking about it. so here you were, too distracted thinking about other things, that whatever juicy gossip seungkwan was filling you on going right thorugh one ear and out the other.

"and then do you know what he did?", seungkwan asks, looking at you. "huh-who did what?", you ask, coming to reality. "are you listening to me babe, this is important!", he emphasizes. he seems to repeat the last two sentences but still you're too distracted and in your own thoughts. and before you know it you lean and place a kiss on seungkwan's lips. (well it was more like a peck).

seungkwan is frozen his lips slightly parted as he takes in what just happened. when you realise what you did you mumble a curse under your breath as you cover your own mouth in shock.

"kwan-um-shit-um", you stumble over your words. seungkwan still doesn't say anything as he just blinks at you. "what was that?", he asks softly and you think he's mad.

"a kiss?", you explain. "but im sorry maybe i should have asked", you stutter out. "babe", he says but you don't listen. "i didn't mean to-but-um-i wasn't thinking", you tell panicking and that's when seungkwan leans forward and kisses you again, shutting you up. and when he moves his lips against yours you swear you'd have melted into a puddle on the floor. he pulls away and looks at you. your eyes flutter open and you're a little dazed as you blink up at him. seungkwan smiles softly at you.

"you weren't listening to a word i was telling you were you", he asks, catching you red-handed. "um..yes..no?", you reply shyly. "busy thinking about other things i see", he adds, teasing you. "no! it's not like that but-", you tell, mumbling and eating half your sentence because you didn't have anything to say for yourself. so you just kiss him again.

taglist: @daisycheols @naaaaafla @joshuaahong @slytherinshua @fairyhaos @rubywonu @wqnwoos @wheeboo @icyminghao @kyeomyun @minhui896 @gam3bo1z @graybaeismytae @musingsofananxiouspotato @thehao8 @cheiyoma @keiyx @novalpha @fallingforshua29 @txtandroll @nishloves @kokoiinuts @writingsbybirdie @hauvits @jennimisu @dahliatopia @prpldahy @ryujineebae @onedumbho3 @weird-bookworm @yo-wassup-boi @idubiluv @horanghae-hoshi @bangchansbae @sorrylola @lustfulseonghwa @hanniehaee @winterwallacehenderson

drop an ask or comment to be added to the taglist for this series!

[boosari]

this is so cute :(

❍ the 2k event: seungkwan + blossoms

alternative title: this is what healing is

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader

genre: canon universe, established relationship, comfort-ish

word count: 1285

warnings: none

event taglist (send ask to be added): @slytherinshua @rubywonu @weird-bookworm @pepperonijem @amxlia-stars @hannyoontify @my-moarmy-heart @suminsfav @minhui896 @haocovr @lockburn-castle @sweet-like-caramel @horanghae8 @graybaeismytae @karionice @hopetiger10 @shuabby1994 (and @wheeboo cz. it's seungkwan)

"Y/N! Come on, we can't slow down now, we're almost there!"

"And where," you pant, "is 'almost there', Seungkwan? Almost there to my death?"

Seungkwan smiles, and it's not his brilliant, heart-bursting smile but it's close enough. "You shouldn't have offered to take me out hiking, love," he says teasingly, from where he's standing on the path further up. "You gotta deal with the consequences."

You groan, pulling yourself up with your hiking poles along the dirt path. "Yeah, next time I'll just offer to pay for a full spa day for you. That'll be way easier than this torture I accidentally signed up for."

Seungkwan chuckles, continuing to hike up the mountainside while you groan and complain and sweat to death behind him. 

Your boyfriend loves nature. He loves being surrounded by it, feeling humbled by the vast everlastingness of the earth, feeling part of the unending beauty of the world and the countless lives of animals and plants that he has the privilege of living alongside. It relaxes him, brings him peace, allows his soul to settle more comfortably in his body once he's able to see that he's important, that he matters, that nature is there for him and surrounds him and he is at once a part of it and forever under its power the entire time. 

It's a complex combination of feeling humility at nature's capability and feeling comfort at being in her care, but you get it. You understand Seungkwan. 

That's why you offered him a healing day out trekking up some of South Korea's most idyllic mountains, after all. 

You're kind of regretting agreeing to come along, though. 

Well, almost. 

"Y/N, I swear, we're almost there this time," Seungkwan insists when you wail about your legs again. He's standing at a curve in the path you're following, which isn't really much of a path but more of a wobbly line of soil where the ground has been worn down just a little more than the rest of the undergrowth surrounding you. 

"What, almost to the top?" you manage to say. Wow, you need to exercise more. 

Seungkwan shakes his head. "No, we're almost at a rest point though! There's a fallen tree we can sit on."

"A fallen tree," you deadpan, crunching through leaves. "We're almost at a fallen tree."

Seungkwan wrinkles his nose playfully at your tone. "Yes. A fallen tree. But I'm really, really certain that we've almost reached the summit, if you wanna forgo a break and carry on…?"

"No, no, let's take a break," you say hurriedly, hobbling up the remaining stretch to find the fallen tree he was talking about and flopping down. "Ah, that's better."

There's a peaceful silence then, as you drink your water and Seungkwan tilts his head back, revelling in the quiet that comes with being so, so far away from other people. You watch him out of the corner of your eye and fight the urge to grin widely. 

This is the one, sole reason that you don't regret coming on this trip. 

He has his eyes closed, the sunlight peeking through the green leaves of the trees and casting an uneven glow across his face, one cheek, half of his forehead, the tip of his nose and small spatterings of his eyelids lit up in gold. He looks like he's been blessed all over by some sun deity, but nothing can top the utterly content look on his face. 

Seungkwan hasn't been feeling himself lately, and you get it, with all that's been going on for him. He's been doing so well, and you tell him so, but sometimes those words aren't enough. Sometimes he just needs time to distance himself, to heal without having the reminders of his pain and struggles hitting him in the face. 

Somewhere in the distance, a bird chirps, and Seungkwan opens his eyes. 

"Don't you think that the day sky is so beautiful?" he says, contemplatively, squinting through the forest canopy. 

You look up with him, squinting your eyes. "The day sky?" you echo. 

He shrugs. "Yeah. Everyone always talks about the night sky, and yet no one seems to mention how pretty the sky is during the day."

You tilt your head, watching as faint wisps of white clouds drift by, in between the green leaves and up there in the brilliant blueness of the sky. 

"The moon is really, really beautiful," you say, "but I guess we never do think about how pretty the sun is too."

"The moon will forever be beautiful," Seungkwan agrees, voice softening, "but there's beauty in the day as well. There's so much light. So much vibrancy. So much potential for living."

You smile, lowering your head to look over at Seungkwan. He still has his head tilted upwards, so far up that you can't see his eyes. But after a moment, he squeezes his eyes shut and looks at you with a smile. It's a sad smile, but there's relief there, a happiness that comes from having the time to be with such refreshing scenery and his thoughts and with you. 

His eyes crinkle as he leans forward to press a kiss to your nose. "You know I love you, right?"

You hum, placing your hand on his cheek to keep him in place and quickly kiss his forehead. His skin is clammy with sweat, your hand warm on his equally warm cheek, but the softness in his eyes makes everything else rendered irrelevant. 

"I should hope so," you say drily after pulling away. "I'm here, suffering with you right now. I'm currently loving you too damn much for you not to love me back."

Seungkwan laughs at that, a ringing bell sound that sounds so much like his usual self that it makes you laugh too. 

"Well, thank you for loving me that much," he says, and it's teasing, but there are rosy warm threads of sincerity to his words. "Thank you, oh noble Y/N, for putting up with me."

"Any time," you say, and you can recognise that warm sincerity in your own voice too. "I'll do anything for you."

Seungkwan smiles. 

A wind blows around you, blessedly cool, and you sigh in happiness. Sometimes small and cold sticks to your forehead, and you dislodge it to gawk at the small blossom petal that managed to stick to your sweaty skin. 

"Kwan, look at this petal that stuck to me," you say, turning to your boyfriend, only to laugh at the way he has two on his cheek, seemingly going unnoticed by him.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"You had a little something on your face, babe," you say, taking off the petals and showing them to him. Seungkwan blinks down at them before chuckling and shaking his head. 

"There must be cherry blossom trees further up ahead," he said, watching as more pale pink petals float around you.

You hum thoughtfully, staring at the little blossom petals. "Blossoms represent growth, you know," you say. "And new beginnings. They symbolise a better tomorrow."

Seungkwan tilts his head. "Really?" He's silent for a moment, before standing up. "Well, we better get going, I think. I want to see this blossom tree at the summit, now that we know it's there."

Instantly, you're groaning, and Seungkwan laughs as he takes your hand and pulls you to your feet, teasing you the entire way. But he doesn't let go of your hand, and the two of you walk leisurely up the mountain, skin all sun-dappled and with blossoms in your hair as you make your way to the top and to that blossom tree. 

All the way to a better tomorrow. 

[boosari]

SORRY NOT SORRY, YOU WERE WARNED 🫵🫵

vernon is a real bro frfr (not like joshua smh😒😒) i'm glad you liked it tho!! ^^

biggest worries — h.j

pairings: joshua x reader

genre: angst (with a drop of fluff)

warnings: mentions of bullying victim (if you experience any of that, please do not stay silent), reader is an over thinker, drinking (wine), one curse word.

wk: 1.7k

summary: you're finally ready to confess your deep love for Joshua with a lot of overthinking. However, your worries were nothing compared to the real problem.

Love is beautiful, love is caring, is being happy, is being intimate, love is trust, passion, commitment.

Love is beautiful,

as beautiful as cruel.

You've experienced love. Since young age, you have loved. Since you were a high school student, where people would judge you, regardless of how you looked, how you behaved, what particularities you had, your flaws, even your qualities.

You were judged. You were belittled, insulted and made fun of. Like you were some kind of joke to people. You didn't expect so much cruelty when you started high school.

It made you suffer, indeed. It made you feel oppressed, like you weren't enough, like something was wrong with you. You always tried to stay strong, tried to ignore, the ignorance of the people. Because you knew that you were better. You knew you were not like them.

And there he comes. He, who helped you when you were crushed by the words of those unfeeling people. He who smiled at you, who always stood by your side, who always stood up for you.

That's when you understood what love was like. What love felt like.

'Is this love?' Was what you thought.

An emotion, so deep, so tight, so sharp and unavoidable towards someone. So this is what it feels like.

It made you warm, beat your heart faster. It made you feel heat in your cheeks, sometimes all of your face. He would just look at you while smiling. His sweet, sooth voice ringing in your ears made you love him more each day. His soft features, full brows, sharp, yet elegant eyes, small polished nose, and prominent lips. Made you fall in real love.

Joshua was always kind with you. He was the sweetest person you've ever met since you started school. He would always greet you, smiling, making his eyes almost, almost disappear.

After he defended you, no one bothered you anymore. And you were grateful. You wanted to return the favour. And you were doing it by loving him. That's what you thought.

That feeling has never changed, except for the fact that it increased even more. You're now a senior, near graduating. You still love Joshua, more than ever.

And you were planning on finally confessing your love to him. It's been four long years. He always made you feel comfortable, safe and loved. He always treated you right, always been sweet, with his words and actions. You often hanged out, and had good times together. You always smiled when you were with him.

"What if I mess up?" The nervousness in your voice couldn't get passed unnoticed by your friend Vernon.

Vernon is another amazing friend of yours. You became friends in 10th grade. He is a common friend of you and Joshua. He also is the only one who knows about your big crush on his friend.

Vernon sighs, rolling his eyes for the nth time today.

"You're overthinking y/n".

He's right. You are. But you have good reasons for it.

"You can't blame me Nonie. You know how I am" You reply bothered, banging your head against the kitchen table.

"It's simple, Y/n. You have liked him for years now, you have to tell how you feel. If he feels the same, boom, you date". He gestures with his hands.

"And what if he doesn't?" You raise your head, a small pout on your lips.

"Well, then you will stay friends? I guess?" He tilts his head, making a weird face.

You giggle at him. "I honestly wouldn't mind that. I would feel sad, yes, but he is a good friend. He makes me feel safe, that's everything i need from him. Just being a good friend". You stare at blankly at the table.

It's true. Joshua is a good friend of yours, aside from being the boy you love. Staying friends with him didn't bother you, if you got rejected, you just hoped to stay the same. For him to say the same. To be the same Joshua who would always smile, who would always listen to you and give you advices.

Just a good friend.

"But what if the confession will ruin everything? I mean, if I get rejected, will he change? What if I ruin our friendship? What if he gets distant? What if he-"

Your rambling is interrupted by your friend's voice.

"Y/n. Knowing Joshua, I think he would probably reject you politely. Nothing between you two would change if you ask me". You watch your friend getting up and opening your fridge.

"Wow, you really need to do some grocery shopping" He mumbles, staring at your almost empty fridge.

You let out a small laugh. "Yea, I really should".

Vernon grabs a bottle of wine, probably one of the last things left in your fridge, closes it and proceeds to take two glasses from the cabinet on top of the sink. He makes his way back to the table.

"This is what you need right now" He smiles, showing you the wine bottle. You keep watching your friend pouring the liquor in the glasses.

"Okay, let's have this drink, a cheers to you and Joshua? Hmm? How about this, you'll call him, later, or maybe tomorrow, whenever you're ready. No need to rush. You will ask him to hang out, like you mostly do, and will confess. Okay?" Your friend calmly states, pushing one of the glasses towards you as he picks the other.

You smile warmly at him and nod, picking up your glass as well. You both raise it and chin, before drinking.

Your phone suddenly feels heavier in your hands which are shaking lightly as you breathe heavily.

What if I ruin everything?

You close your eyes and sigh.

"You can do this. Just like every other time, it's not the first time you hang out Y/n" You mumble to yourself, before taking a deep breath and scrolling through the contacts.

You bite your lip nervously before clicking on Joshua's number, putting the phone on your ear.

After two rings, he picks up.

"Hello?" his sweet voice echos through the line, you squint your eyes.

"Hi Joshua" you reply, trying to hide the nervousness in your trembling voice.

"Hi Y/n, everything okay?" You could feel his smile through the phone.

"I'm good, thank you. I uhm, wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out one of these days.." You were now walking back and forth in your room.

"Sure, why not? When would you like to?"

"How about...tomorrow? By the park near your house at 6?" You bite your nails.

"Okay then, it's settled. See you tomorrow Y/n" Through the line, you hear some wind and a car pass by. He probably wasn't at home, you thought.

"See you" You mumble before hanging up.

As soon as you hang up, you let out a long breath, putting a hand on your chest.

You regain yourself and walk to the kitchen, feeling a bit hungry. It was late, but a night snack won't hurt right?

Opening your fridge, you see nothing except some eggs, few apples and a bottle of water. You groan, remembering Vernon's statement of few days ago.

You close the fridge, making up your mind. You walk to your room and put on a light jacket. You grab your wallet, keys and walk to the door. Time for some late night grocery shopping.

As you walk out, you get on the elevator and pull out your phone. You send a quick massage to Vernon.

y/nssi

Hey, I called Joshua, we're meeting tomorrow.

Vernon almost immediately replies.

chew

You go girl 🫵

You smile and shake your head. The elevator door opens and you exit, making your way to the nearest grocery store.

Thankfully, there was one 5 minutes away. You get in and look around, walking through the isles. You get some veggies, some fruits, other ingredients, some instant ramen, and some sweets, such as chocolate, cookies, and strawberry milk.

You make your way to the counter and pay. Putting everything in the plastic bag, you smile and great the cashier before getting out.

You sigh and start walking home. While walking, you raise your head and notice two figures standing at the side of the road. You squint your eyes, one of them was a bit too familiar. His silhouette, his outfit, the way he was standing, the outlines of his hair. Everything was too familiar.

"Is that Joshua..?" you mutter to yourself.

A small laugh suddenly rings in your ears and your eyes widen.

It was him.

He wasn't alone tho. Tangled with his laugh was another, of a female. You look at her, you don't recall anything. You probably didn't know her. She was beautiful tho, even in the dark, you could see her pale, cotton coloured skin, her smooth hair, her double eyelids, small nose and full lips.

You kept looking at them, they looked very close.

She looks up at him, still smiling, before getting on her tiptoes, her lips touch his.

She kissed him.

Joshua pulls her close, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Captured by the moment, you didn't notice that the plastic bag you were holding dropped.

You freeze, not being able to move. Your eyes are wide. You feel the cold breeze hit your face. Your heart aches, breaks into pieces. It was painful, it was ripping your chest.

You suddenly feel a salty taste in your mouth, and only then you realise that tears were streaming down your face.

You get back to reality, crouch down and pick up the bag before running away.

You didn't care if he noticed, you didn't care if he saw you. You just kept running, the tears weren't stopping, the ache wasn't either.

It was hurting. Your heart was hurting.

You were sad, miserable, you felt pathetic.

But most of all, you felt disappointed. You were disappointed in him.

You knew each other for years, and never even once he dared to mention about her. Why would he do that? Why?

Maybe it was your fault? Maybe you should've asked? Maybe he didn't want to tell you..? Maybe they just met each other..?

No, you knew Joshua. He wouldn't kiss a girl he just met. They probably knew each other.

Shame on him.

He always acted nice and sweet, always cared for you, always made you happy. He always gave you hints, gave you hope.

Everything was fake. Everything was an illusion. And now you're here, a crying mess. Your legs moving on its own, hoping to reach home fast. You head hurts from all the thinking.

You worried, you were concerned, you always though about him, about your relationship, your friendship. You were worried about confessing, being rejected, about ruining everything. About loosing him.

You didn't want to blame him, but there was no one else to blame.

Your thoughts, assumptions, your biggest worries weren't even a problem...

The real problem was totally another.

Love is beautiful, indeed.

But it's cruel as fuck.

a/n: gosh i love angst. i love making myself (and you🫵) suffer heheh...by the way, i honestly don't even know how i came up with this, just thought for a moment and as we know joshua is our gentleman, sweet soul. but i wanted to make it a little sad so here it is. i hope you guys enjoy :)

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