#blew up bc idk; I'd been seething for a while under the surface ig. He calls me mean when I can't really tell that's how I would sound
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The feeling of being required to apologize to bestie ('B') after lashing out and subsequently isolating immediately after
I don't want to, I don't like it, it doesn't sound or feel right from me, but also I'm literally obligated to by a part of me that probably understands shit even if it doesn't feel genuine.
Piss poor attempt honestly.
#sepiasys.txt#blew up bc idk; I'd been seething for a while under the surface ig. He calls me mean when I can't really tell that's how I would sound#All I did was stab my pencil into my paper and he immediately said Stop; which pissed me off further bc I WAS gonna say smth. No time to get#my words out >:( And then I just couldn't stand being near him so yk. left. bc it's better to boil in a pot alone than spill scalding water.#So anyways I'm like. better but not. I'm so fuckin tired and lowkey nonexistent but who cares.#He hasn't acknowledged my very poor attempt at an apology but it's better than just saying nothing forever imo. So idk fuck you.#I'm bad at this shit ok leave me alone. Been bored as hell bc bruthr what am I supposed to DO (besides what I need to)#I need a drink (I would totally become an alcoholic /hj)
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