#bless that little emo girl's heart

[uncertain-disaster]

[id: tags from @fox-mulder-gets-pegged that read "#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being 16 years old and having to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but Christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that? #anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know I think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post" /end id]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 51

He didn't care, didn't marvel that he was soon to be airborne on one of those incredible beasts. Didn't care that tomorrow, they would all take on the dark army gathered beyond.

He'd fought in more battles, more wars, than he cared to remember. Tomorrow would be little different, save for the demons they'd slay, rather than men or Fae.

Demons like his former queen, apparently.

He had offered himself to her, had wanted her, or believed he did. And she had laughed at him. He didn't know what it meant. About her, about himself.

He'd thought his darkness, Hellas's gifts, had been drawn to her, that they'd been matched.

Perhaps the dark god had wanted him not to swear fealty to Maeve, but to kill her. To get close enough to do so.

Lorcan didn't adjust his cape against the gust of frigid air off the distant lake. Rather, he leaned into the cold, into the ice on the wind. As if it might rip away the truth.

There was no fear or pity on her face, her black hair gilded by the torches and campfires. Of all of them, she'd mastered the news with little difficulty, stepping up to the desk as if she'd been born on a battlefield.

"I didn't know," he said, voice strained.

Elide knew what he meant. "We have bigger things to worry about anyway."

He took a step toward her. "I didn't know," he said again.

She tipped her head back to study his face and pursed her mouth, a muscle ticking in her jaw. "Do you want me to give you some sort of absolution for it?"

"I served her for nearly five hundred years. Five hundred years, and I just thought her to be immortal and cold."

"That sounds like the definition of a Valg to me."

He bared his teeth. "You live for eons and see what it does to you, Lady."

"I don't see why you're so shocked. Even with her being immortal and cold, you loved her. You must have accepted those traits. What difference does it make what we call her, then?"

"I didn't love her."

"You certainly acted like you did."

Lorcan snarled, "Why is that the point you keep returning to, Elide? Why is it the one thing you cannot let go of?"

"Because I'm trying to understand. How you could come to love a monster."

"Why?" He pushed into her space. She didn't balk one step.

Indeed, her eyes were blazing as she hissed, "Because it will help me understand how I did the same."

Her voice snagged on the last words, and Lorcan stilled as they settled into them. He'd never ... he'd never had anyone who-

"Is it a sickness?" she demanded. "Is it something broken within you?"

"Elide." Her name was a rasp on his lips. Lorcan dared reach a hand for her. But she pulled out of reach. "If you think that because you swore the blood oath to Aelin, it means anything for you and me, you're sorely mistaken. You're immortal-I'm human. Let us not forget that little fact, either."

Lorcan nearly recoiled at the words, their horrible truth. He was five hundred years old He should walk away—he shouldn't be so damned bothered by any of this. And yet Lorcan snarled, "You're jealous. That's what truly eats away at you."

Elide barked a laugh that he'd never heard before, cruel and sharp. "Jealous? Jealous of what? That demon you served?" She squared her shoulders, a wave cresting before it smashed into the shore. "The only thing that I am jealous of, Lorcan, is that she is rid of you."

Lorcan hated that the words landed like a blow. That he had no defenses left where she was concerned. "I'm sorry," he said. "For all of it, Elide." There, he'd said it, and laid it out before her. "I'm sorry," he repeated.

But Elide's face did not warm. "I don't care," she said, turning on her heel. "And I don't care if you walk off that battlefield tomorrow.

"I have never heard Lorcan apologize for anything. Even when Maeve whipped him for a mistake, he did not apologize to her."

"And that means he earns my forgiveness?"

"No. But you have to realize that he swore the blood oath to Aelin for you. For no one else. So he could remain near you. Even knowing well enough that you will have a mortal lifespan."

The birds shifted on their feet, rustling their wings in anticipation of flight. She knew. Had known it the moment he'd knelt before Aelin. Weeks later, Elide hadn't known what to do with it, the knowledge that Lorcan had done this for her. The longing to talk to him, to work with him as they had. She'd hated herself for it. For not trying to hold on to her anger longer.

It was why she'd gone after him tonight.

Not to punish him, but herself. To remind herself of who he'd sold their queen to, how profoundly mistaken she had been.

And her parting line to him ... it was a lie.

A disgusting, hateful lie.

Elide turned to Gavriel again. "I don't—" The Lion was gone. And for the cold flight over the army, then over the sea of darkness spread between it and the ancient city, even that wise voice who had whispered for the entirety of her life had gone quiet.

[traumatizedartist]

*AHEM*

My murder drones au headcannons (the one with actual digital art)

These 👇

Anyways yknow the drill at this point, look under the cut for the headcannons

TW FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPT IN THE HEADCANNONS (I'll have it be in red so you can skip past it if it makes you uncomfortable)

Uzi- Autistic, clearly

She has daddy issues but not nearly as bad as in canon(Khan doesn't leave her for dead in this au she "sacrifices herself") she's still super emo. She has a more scene style. Her, Lizzy and Doll are actually kinda close, they become even closer(become friends) after the series ends, cuz, yknow, Uzi saved the world? Anyways, she's dating N, and she doesn't care that he killed her mom(I mean she does but it only affected them for like, a year, so I guess a long time, they actually broke up cuz of it but they were both fuckin miserable and Nori slapped some sence into her cuz she saw how N looked before killing her and he looked so guilty ((wow the run on sentence go crazy))) So yeah they're the dictionary definition of a great not toxic couple

N- very sweet, very loving good boy. He has PTSD, obviously. It's like, really bad tho. Nightmares every night level bad, and that's how him and this aus Khan bond. They trauma bond, yay!! He's very in touch with his emotions, and he's a bit of a push over. He's a very big people pleaser and has a lot of trouble placing boundaries. Uzi helps him with that when they start dating, so that he doesn't get hurt all the time

V- once you crack her shell, she's a very shy and sweet person, not like her personality back at the manor, but like a mix of her current canon personality and manor. C PTSD, she remembered more than N about the manor before Uzi unlocked those memories. She also has nightmares a lot but Lizzy and Doll help her with them. Nothing cuddles and wholesome movies can't fix. At least for a little bit.

J- bless this girls lonely heart. She's still greiving Tessa(she's alive in Uzis mind just no one knows yet) she ends up breaking down after her and N get into a mother fight after he tries to be there for her for the like, 10000th time. When she comes back to the bunker with N, everyone, understandably, is very suspicious of her. But when she does get there, for the first few months, she's just a husk of her old self. Shes quite and agrees to do anything because she just doesn't care anymore, the moment she starts to truly feel at home is, ironically, during her rock bottom

TW FOR SUICIDE ATTEMPT

V is the one that finds her, she had gotten worried when she noticed all the uneaten oil in front of Js room. When she comes in she sees J with her rifle to her head.

TW OVER

V tackles her and starts interrogating her, asking why and is very worried. J, seeing this, just breaks, she begins to bawl her eyes out, crying about how much she misses Tessa, how she was the love of her life and can't live without her, how she wants to be with her, how she can't take it anymore. V and J spend the next 3 to 4 hours crying together. V had texted N telling him what happened and to get his ass over there now. So, of course he does,when he gets there he sees them hugging and J crying and he joins them, bringing the oil so when Js done crying she can eat. She had been starving herself toAnd this is when J truly sees how much people care about her, which, in turn, makes her cry even harder. When she's done crying N feeds her the oil and they cuddle together for a while. She's a lot better now but she's in for a very big surprise

Cyn- that's right baby! Cyns alive! Because I felt so SO bad for her that I had to have her live in my au. She still talks the same, but she's very sweet and innocent, her and Uzi have an older/younger sister relationship. Her and N reunite in the cutest way, they're both crying and hugging super tight. V and J are tearing up as well. I have more headcannons about her on my drawing of her lol so wait for that lol

Tessa- I don't have a lot of headcannons for Tessa, so just go to the hashtag Died and got over it and take pretty much all the headcannons of Tessa from there and that's how it is here pretty much lol(I'll find the @ I promise)

Thad- he's a straight ally and single(looking at you @rory-multifandom-mess) he's Lizzy's younger twin brother and his personality is pretty much the same. He's friends with the wrong people. He's a very big sweetheart. He's a Femininominon. A green flag icon. The best football player on his team(he isn't a dick about it tho) I don't have anything else for him but I do have a drawing for him so you'll have to wait on that as well lol. Srry

Lizzy- Thads older twin. She's dating V and Doll(you can't stop me) she became friends with Uzi after the show ended. She's a Y2K girlie. She is also very sweet when you tear down the asshole popular girl walls. She's quite traumatized from the show and sometimes has nightmares about it. She doesn't tell anyone but people found out(*cough cough* V and Doll *cough cough*)

Doll- she's dating V and Lizzy, she was never revengeful of V, as her dad survived the attack(so did her mom but literally no one knows that yet) she's still very blunt and has a flat affect, she also doesn't show her emotions a lot, but from the unfinished comic I already posted, when V and Lizzy get back to the bunker after the canon ends she breaks down. She thought they were dead. Uzi and her are cousins(not really but their dads are best friends so they view each other as cousins) I don't even have a last name for her yet so you'll have to wait(again) for the drawing to see more headcannons of her)

Khan- WOOO WE'VE HIT THE JACKPOT BABY! Autistic. He's half DD in my au(and he has the solver with the back hand things that we see nori having at the beginning of episode 7 I think, either 7 or 6 idk) idk how hes part DD yet, my thoughts are either forbidden love or cabin fever failed experiment. I'll probably make a poll of that, see which ones you all like the most. He's very insecure about his body, he used to get bullied back in high school because, no matter which choice I make, he gets to experience high school(with the cabin fever experiment he went missing for like, a year, and then escaped, he tried to get nori and yeva but they told him to go or he'd get killed, so he left, he still has a lot of pent up guilt from that) he's also a trans man(YIPPIE) but he's also curvy, hence the insecurity. He's a good dad and actually helped with the fight with the AS(he fought j as a distraction and effectively got his ass beat((Lizzy laughed at him, he also laughed, he's a dumbass))) so he had to recover from that, also, in my au, him, the teacher(I'm naming him Lewis) and nori are dating, so when Lewis is hanging for his fucking life Khan flies down and saves him lol. Also, he does get to reunite with nori, as everything that happened to her in the show happens in my au, but them reuniting happens differently, through Uzi(yay)

Guh, I've ran out of ideas so when I get more(and the motivation to write more) I'll reblog this post with more headcannons, hope y'all like this lol

[rinadragomir]

It's me trying to convince y'all to get invested in the Sword Catcher, read it all cause I tried!

1) I need someone to talk about it + see your theories/memes/edits, I NEED MY FRIENDS IN THIS FANDOM okay?!

2) listen, we have to wait about 2 years before The Wicked Powers, let's try to distract ourselves with something exciting!!

Reviews from George Martin (my beloved, listen, this man knows a good fantasy book when he sees one, trust him), Holly Black and Leigh Bardugo

Synopsis (read the full detailed version here):

In the vibrant city-state of Castellane, a young orphan named Kel is stolen from his old life to enter a new one of luxury and peril. He’s to become Prince Conor Aurelian’s body-double, shielding the Prince from all dangers. As his ‘Sword Catcher,’ he and Conor become close as brothers – yet Kel lives for one purpose: to die for Conor.

Lin Caster is an Ashkar physician, part of a community ostracised for its rare magical abilities. But events pull her and Kel together and into the web of the mysterious Ragpicker King who rules Castellane’s criminal underworld.

Together, they’ll discover an extraordinary conspiracy. But can forbidden love bring down a kingdom? And will their discoveries plunge their nation into war and the world into chaos?

Here, a boy lives to protect his Prince with his life. A girl is destined to return lost magic to the world. A Prince must choose between his heart and his duty. And thrumming beneath it all, the heartbeat of a city unlike any other. Welcome to Castellane.

Known characters: (from top to bottom, from left to right, please appreciate the wonderful arts below)

Kellian Saren - our protagonist~ was kidnapped from his family when he was 5 and brought to the palace in order to be the Sword Catcher, the body double for the Crown Prince(��️‍🌈?). Used to have a crush on Antonetta, now too busy spending time with Prince Conor (🏳️‍🌈?). Big spoon energy

YOU'LL SAY: Rina... bestie he looks exactly like the second guy a bit lower, why so many Will Herondale cosplayers🤨 YES YES, THAT'S THE POINT, THEY HAVE TO LOOK ALIKE, IT'S LIKE Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman in Star Wars

Lin Caster - female protagonist, doctor, is skilled in healing magic (Catarina & Clary's daughter🤨?). There is a prophecy surrounding her, that says a very powerful goddess would return one day and it would be one of the girls from her community, ~possibly her~

Antonetta Alleyne - Heir to the wealthy silk charter, her mother dotes on her, dressing her in lace and grooming her to marry Prince Conor (the next guy). Her, Kel and Conor used to have this gang😎 when they were kids, but then her mother decided to turn her into a Kendall Jenner and now she's 💅🏻not like other girls💅🏻 and makes this ew sound everytime our protagonist walks by (secretly feels something else towards him....I guess?...)

Conor Aurelian - our Prince🤴🏻definition of: So you're a tough guy, Like it really rough guy, Just can't get enough guy, Chest always so puffed guy. What else? Oh, everyone tries to kill him and he hides behind his boyfriend's back. Little spoon energy

Joss Falconet - some lazy whore, idk. He has been friends with Conor and Kel since they were all small children. He loves parties, a good time, and ridiculous exploits, but there may be rather more to him…Matthew Fairchild core?👀✨ maybe....

The Ragpicker King - he's so 😋😩🤤he lives his dark emo girl aesthetic life. Doesn’t have a name or real identity. He lives in a big black mansion in the middle of Castellane and runs the crime scene. My future husband btw

Merren Asper - part-time student, full-time poisoner, and hopeless romantic. Merren has a dreamy, cheerful personality, despite being a poisoner. Well good for him, god bless🌿 he seems like a mixture of Kit Herondale and Wylan Van Eck

I'm going to update this post in case Cassie shares some new information!

The first book comes out on October 10 THIS YEAR so~ you can pre-order🌟✨for example, I can't so I'll just wait till someone sends it to me once it's out.

I REALLY hope I managed to get you slightly invested. It seems like a really nice fantasy series and I'd like to support Cassie's new work. She gave us our beloved TSC world and I have a strong faith in her. I know it's hard to dive into a new series but let's give it a chance!

@chibi-tsukiko @hahahax30 @roseofthomas @queenhelenblackthorn @not--a--pipedream @tea-and-a-clandestine-agenda @spacehero-23 @tys-kitty @carelessflower @dustandducks @one-fond-mortal @magnus-the-maqnificent @delightfullyterrible @learningshelfcontrol @thewolfnephilim @literallytypogod @gayforcarstairsgirls @clockworkbee @elettralightwood @captainswanandclintasha @radisv @lord-jethro @luciehercndale @bytheangell

[seeingivy]

so like...inspo by my sweet daisy. been feeling down in the dumps about writing in general lately, but it's always fun to self-reflect and remember all the things i've done over the past year. here are my fav fics that I wrote in 2023!

method acting - but of course. this was the first fic that I really put lots of time and effort into thinking + building and getting to see people geek with me over the fake little universe i've made is so fun and rewarding and special to me. it's one of my fics that i've poured a lot of my love and feelings into and in lots of ways, this fic has been a light on a bad day. it includes so many of my real, personal feelings (which is why it's so emo and sweet and sentimental when i write it and even more when people really connect with it for me)

blessing - aka, megumi fushiguro being a sweetheart. I find it really hard to write things that are shorter, since I feel like it won't hit as hard if I don't build it up (which i am very jealous of other writers for being able to do), but this was one of the few times I feel like I was able to do it!

king of my heart - this was one of my first fics that was really popular, and one of my best written taylor as gojo's me thinks. I also just love a good old arranged marriage trope and the lyrics meshed really easily for this one (which is one of the hardest things about writing taylor as gojos)

labyrinth - this was one of my best written ones I think!!! I am so endlessly proud of this one, just bc I feel like it's one of the few times I was able to actually articulate everything I wanted to say EXACTLY how I wanted to say it. I usually give up on a fic and post roughly whatever I had when I write something, but this was the first time I was like YES. YES THIS IS IT.

hair stylist - this was a request! and it's usually very hard for me to write requests and like them, but I really love how this one turned out. also I love goofy gojo im just a girl sue me.

[rabdoidal]

tag game! 🎧🎶 tagged by @theocannibalism shuffle your music library and share the first 10 songs that come up.

Thanks bud! Shuffling my liked instead of my playlists for fairness ✌️

Waiting For The Weekend by San Cisco: a decent song! I liked it more in uni but it's certainly still musically pretty - it's a little trite to write a love song about drugs being personified, but San Cisco can make anything a sexy indie jam (7/10) Favourite line: And when she's standing right next to me / She's never quite as close as I'd like her to be

Your Dog by Soccer Mommy: a STELLAR song by a band truly so close to my heart - my fav combination in music is a clean voice and dirty bass. also this song also has a fucked up relationship dynamic and its. very Izzy Hands to me sorry (10/10) Favourite line: Forehead kisses break my knees / And leave me crawling back to you

Pulaski at Night by Andrew Bird: another top tier banger but also (shout out to artificial ghost radio listeners) this is my NBC hannigram song its so. like the classical instruments and delusional sweetness makes it feel like a candlelit waltz in a blood splattered suit (10/10) Favourite line: I write you a story / But it loses its thread / And all of my witnesses / Keep turning up, turning up dead

Paint It, Black by The Rolling Stones: truly wild that this is in my likes because its a great song but its like. I don't think I've ever intentionally listened to the rolling stones apart from this? anyway bangers only I always love how dramatic and goth it is (8/10) Favourite line: No more will my green sea / Go turn a deeper blue

Androgynous by The Replacements: this song honestly makes me tear up sometimes, even tho its purely joyful, because it makes me think about how its a song from the 80s that has more kindness and love for genderqueer people than most people do 40 years later. It makes me love being t4t (9/10) Favourite line: Now, something meets boy, and something meets girl / They both look the same / They're overjoyed in this world

Cinnamon Spider by Jack Off Jill: nothing wrong with an alt/goth song about revenge and guilt with weird voice modulated screaming and creepy whispering (7/10) Favourite line: Consumed by hate and guilt, she'll never retire / Too old to fix, too dead to ever acquire

Human Fly by The Cramps: I've been listening to a lot of rockabilly/oldhead goth rock recently and I'm loving the cramps! I've only really heard the big hits until recently, but Human Fly is definitely my stand-out favourite, I love songs that are kinda nasty and maggoty or more conceptual or goofy! It makes it stand out to me (10/10) Favourite line: And baby I won't care / 'Cuz baby I don't scare / 'Cuz I'm a reborn maggot using germ warfare

The Price Is Right Theme Song by Antarctigo Vespucci: I'm a little over listening to indie emo at the moment so I do frequently skip this when it comes on shuffle, but the lyricism is honestly heartbreaking (5/10) Favourite line: Oh my lord, I wish that I didn't know they'll still make TV shows long after I go.

Big Bird by AJJ: I have thoughts feelings comments and critiques of AJJ, but I can't deny that if you want to be in a dangerously bad mood it hits. it completely hits. and I think its interesting that they make songs about taboo intrusive thoughts and criticisms they have of the world, even if i dont always love the song they make in the end (6/10) Favourite line: So I bought a knife / I am a knife / I am a Knife Man

Arty Boy by Flight Facilities ft. Emma Louise: a real vibey party song about being inexplicably into the guy taking photos and smoking at the function instead of dancing - to me it reads as a little comphet, or a little bit bisexual, because the way Emma Louise is singing about the ladies is a lil sus (7/10) Favourite line: And all the girls must be models here, sipping up on margaritas / Twist their bodies so beautiful, making shapes with the music

idk who to tag but if you want an excuse to do this, go with my blessing and pretend I tagged you

[tamaruaart]

YOU

Grant us your oc’s delicious lore, anything that comes to mind first-

Ah tysm for asking

(btw I apologize for this being long af 😔)

So I feel like I should prep this by saying before I figured out about LMK I was super into OPS's jttw series. So I made Zhao with the context of the book, and the book doesn't sugar coat things so Zhao's backstory is a bit uhhh, mature? There's no nsfw stuff but there is a lot, lot, loottt of angst (even though the backstory is kinda "simple"), so forgive me :'(

I did change up her backstory a bit for the LMK version because it is a kids show and I don't feel like the creators would stick with the dark tone of the original. Whenever I write OCs for sertant shows I try to write it with the context of "How would the creator tackle this if my oc was a Canon character?" Yk? You don't write a depressed, emo, Greek hero for a light hearted magical girl show.

So ye, this first segment will be her JTTW backstory sum-up and I'll note what is changed in the LMK version at the end👍

JTTW/original backstory(this is long, read at your own risk)-

-Zhao wasn't raised in the best household.. Not only was her father a total womanizer with 3 wives (at the time of her birth, by now he has 7) and who knows how many mistresses, but her elder family member were pretty verbally abusive. I mentioned before but Xiaotian and Biao-Qi (Zhao's father and grandfather) wanted Zhao to be born as a male because in their clan its essential for the first born of every generation to be a boy, so when they found out about Zhao being a girl they were really salty and thought of her as "The disgrace" of the family. (hence why Zhaoyan is a name generally given to Chinese boys, which yea Xiaotian is the type of douche-bag to chose the name of the child at the start of his marriage without the mothers approval)

-Zhao was the one basically raising her younger siblings because her parents couldn't be bothered to, Pangfua (Zhao's mom) couldn't even bare to look at Xiaotian's face so the last thing she cared for was some random children of him and his mistresses, and Xiaotian's other wifes didn't really care for the children either. However, Zhao ADORED her siblings because she was always good with little kids. But as time went on and on, with so many children coming in to the household she started getting tired, but what could she do? At the time she was barely a teenage girl, if she complained to her father she could legitimately be at risk to lose her head. Like I said, Xiaotian couldn't care less about Zhao, he doesn't give a damn if she likes taking care of her siblings or not.

-Eventually Zhao grew too tired of her family, and decided to leave. This might seem selfish but holy frick, the girlie felt like a maid, and it's not like she doesn't care for her family, it's that they couldn't care less about her. All of her siblings were old enough to take care of each other and the other family members treated them well, why shouldn't she be able to "go live her own life"?

- The first place she went was to a temple dedicated to the Chinese tiger spirit- Hu Ye. The reason she went to him specifically was because he was sort of the protector/symbol of Zhao's family (for context think about how Apollo was the protector of the Trojans in the Iliad), she prayed to him all night, she asked humbly to become a Jade Maiden that serves Guan Yin (because that was probably the best option. Also just so you have context- Hu Ye blessed the girls in Zhao's family with a healing gift. So basically they could heal any illness, wound, missing limb etc...). But to her surprise Hu Ye saw what she did as "unforgiving". You shouldn't leave your family who loves you so much, not cool >:( (cut him some slack tho, whenever to family would worship him they would make them self's seem like the most perfect people ever). And so in short he gave her flaming orange hair so she never forgets that she is a Tiger Maiden (bcz orange=tigers and he just be petty like that bro).

-Eventually she went to the woods but she was found by Lánhūa- a forest spirit. Lánhūa took pity on her and decided to take her in as one of her nymphs. Because Zhao had the healing gift she was a great addition to the palace Lánhūa lived in, Zhao was always the one making sure everyone was healthy and the worst someone suffered was a common cold, and even those wouldn't last long.

-However one day while she was collecting fruits for the palace she stumbled upon a strange noise near a mountain, she went to check what it was and wouldn't you have guessed its good ol' Sun Wukong. The pair fairly quickly became friends, Zhao would often tell him stories and keep him company and Sun (who was under that damn mountain for 346 years by the time he and Zhao met) would listen and tell her his life stories.

-At the early stages of the jttw Monkey actually did try and convince Zhao to come with him and the other pilgrims, she would be the one taking care of Tripitaka and making sure he stays healthy. Zhao refused at first but after some time she agreed. Her and Tripitaka were very close because they were both kinda the "sane ones" of the group and Zhao took her position very seriously. Sanzang eventually noticed that this was a bit weird considering how layed back the other pilgrims were, so he confronted her and Zhao opened up to him. And that's how I'd show her backstory in the book.

So in short: Girl leaves abusive family and prays to god, god makes her a ginger and she gets adopted by a hot forest spirit. A monkey befriends her and convinces her to give free health care to his friend **emotional**

Holy crap that took so long to write/ Notes on how her backstory would probably be changed in the lmk version:

In the lmk version I think they'd tone down how bad her family was just a bit, again it is a kids show. I think the start would generally be the same but that Hu Ye would grant her wish. But instead of a disciple for Guan Yin I think they'd change it into a Peach Maiden, so that she could meet the brotherhood and befriend Wukong like she did in the original backstory. They'd probably remove Lánhūa as well (because she is a very minor character in Zhao's backstory). So yea in short of what I think the creators of LMK would do with her character: -Hu Ye grants her wish of becoming a Peach Maiden. -Orange would be her natural hair color(bcz tigers woo). -I honestly think they'd give her a sort-of survivor's guilt because of the whole "leaving your family" thing instead of "Ama give u tiger hair so you never forget how you left your family >:(" -She meets the brotherhood through their lil' rebellion -Healing powers would probably be toned down a bit so there's still some risk

So ya-

Again thank you SO much for the question and thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[neonmetro]

OMG MERMAID MELODY ?????? OMG IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE I LOVE THAT SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH. AND SHUGO CHARA......OH BROTHER... THOSE TWO I LOVE SOOOO MUCH AS A KID BUT COULD NEVERR FIND THE TITLES FOR THEM BECAUSE I COULD ONLY FIND EPISODES ON YOUTUBE RIGHT ?? BUT HOLY SHIT MY NEW SCHOOL ACTUALLY HAS LIKE 10 FUCKING BOOKS OF SHUGO CHARA IM THEIR LIBRARY AND I LOST MY SHIT OVER IT ( I'm literally such a die hard for Shugo chara I'm so glad someone shares the love for it like I do )

IM PRECURE WAS LITERALLY MY LIFE I FEAR.........I've watched every single one and ohhh boy 😭😭😭😭 AND IVE WANTED THE TOYS SINCE I WAS LITTLE.....BUT THEIR SO EXPENSIVE ONLINE !!!!!!! *shakes fist in the sky* BUT GLITTER FORCE WAS DEFINITELY INTERESTING ? SO SAY THE LEAST LMAO *cries*

I remember when I first watched madoka magica......God bless I cried so much ( I still loved it though ) I tried to watch it a second time and completely forgot my little sister was in the room LMAO and had to turn it off because she got scared 😞😞😞😞

But another mahou shojo I LOVE TO DEATH is Ojamajo doremi. THAT TOOK UP ALOT OF MY CHILDHOOD......I JUST LOVE THE WAY THEY TRANSFORMMMMM THE MUSIC AND EVERYTHING IS SO AWESOME AND JUST SO...RAHHHHHH

I also have the card captor sakura Clow cards sitting in my room rn.....( and up to book 6 of sailor moon ) I stare at it everyday THEIR SO PRETTY. I also have sailor moon figures and I sailor moon.... GUYS, I THINK PARIS ANON LIKE MAGICAL GIRL....!!!!!

while I'm on this may, I recommend some precure you might like based on other magical girl shows you seem interested in.......

Star twinkle precure - I LOVE THIS ONE SOOOO MUCH.....it's about a girl who meets an alien girl, and it's so sweet *wipes tear in yuri* the way they transform is to DIEEE FOR. they draw out their transformations while singing, and it's AWESOME they also collect zodiac pins and can transform into said Zodiac :3

Go ! Princess Precure - this one kinda reminded me of pitchi pitchi mermaid melody for some reason.....probably because theirs a mermaid cure but ANYWAYS it's about a girl who goes to an elite school and it's so awesome, especially with the princess theme

Kira Kira al a mode - this one is about food.....which is so awesome it's about how food provides happiness and if you don't put love into the food you make then the world becomes sad....( they also run a cafe similar to Tokyo mew mew ) they are also based on animals :3

Heart catch - that one is always everyone's favorite, and I swear anyone who has watched precure has recommended this one first. It's honestly just peak

I COULD RECOMMEND THE WHOLE FRANCHISE BUT.......THANK YOU NEON I LOVE RANTING ABOUT MAGICAL GIRLS.....

-paris anon

SHUGO CHARA LEGIT CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY. THE SHEER STYLE AND TOPICS THAT THEY DELVE INTO (that aren't about that fuck ass emo cat) ARE DONE SO WELL....

PRECURE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD 😢😭😭😭 i really need to watch it but idk if it has a dub and my little goldfish needs it to be dub otherwise i get bored.... (so um. that's why i watched glitter force .)

THE TOYS ARE GENUINELY SO COOL LIKE i got 4 big ones but these are the ones i can immediately find)

YEAH THAT'S THE UNFORTUNATE PART OF PMMM YOU WILL IN FACT GET TRAUMATIZED IF YOU'RE TOO YOUNG AND BE SCARED OF PEAK...

OHHH I SAW DOREMI BEFORE .... tbh taiwan has so much gacha of it ??? didn't know it was so popular there but their designs are sooo cutes

SAILOR MOON COVERS IS GENUINELY SO PEAK. i got a random assortment...?? idk i also got 2 vols of the japanese ver but their covers are of my fav characters so its so awesome

OHHH MY GOD SAILOR MOON FIGURES...... THAT SOUNDS SO AWESOMEEE SAKURA MERCH IS SOOO PRETTYYYY like how do they do it. what crack cocaine do they feed those merch artists

been thinking about getting some bc i just rewatched crystal but also I Don't Think I Have The Room for more figures lol...

I'LL DEF HAVE TO CHECK THESE SHOWS OUTTTTT TY PARIS ANON FOR THE RECOMMENDATIONS!!!! houghhgg you got me at mermaid and zodiac i am a SUCKER for that stuff I NEED MORE FRILLY MAGICAL GIRLS I'VE BEEN DEPRIVED OF IT FOR TOO LONG (RIPS OFF MY SHIRT

(QUICK EDIT I JUST READ THE 2ND ASK)

OFCCC I LOVE HEARING OTHER PEOPLE RANT ABOUT MAHOU SHOUJO ITS SO NICE TO TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT THIS AWESOME GENRE.......

[possiblyunhinged]

Being autistic, mentally ill and poor is very not ideal right now when lefties on the internet turn into raging dickheads during an election campaign... And I am a lefty.

I don't think I've ever felt this negative about everything... and I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 6.

I AM A FUN LITTLE GUY, OKAY?!

I've been in a four-day funk where I literally can't cope with external stimuli. I'm a boring person. I spend far too much of my life reading up on stuff, and usually, I'd be all over the election coverage, but I'm just done with everything...

Not in a 2008 emo way, in an I'm autistic, and my brain feels like it's on fire right now kind of way.

There are many threads of injustice weaving through everything right now, that my silly little ND can't cope anymore. Which I know sounds deeply petulant. I am a BABY... but I think for me, if a problem isn't solvable in my brain, then it just kind of sets fire to it on the way out.

It's been in England right now when you're working class, especially over the past three or four years. I'm not talking about losing your annual holiday, the last time I went abroad was when I was 10 years old. I have never been able to justify a holiday nor save because just keeping my head above water financially has been a fucking ballache.

Knowing that over 4 million families are living in poverty right now and having the lived experience of how that experience obliterated my childhood and indoctrinated my brain with a shame that has never left me absolutely breaks my heart.

I don't even have a quip to follow that.

I can't cope with those in power's complete lack of regard for what they have done. And when these children need help, whether that's psychological or otherwise, the likelihood is they'll just be stuck on a fucking waiting list.

I don't have space for rhetoric that generally only exists in University lectures for a reason... because it doesn't translate into real life with all of its complexities.

Unless it's a tactical vote, you can shove your Green Party where the sun doesn't shine. A blessing is that Labour will push for proportional voting and before the LaBoUr HaVe BaCkPeDaLlEd On EvErYtHiNg... wait and see, hey?

Let people feel a modicum of fucking hope for one second, because guess what... being someone who deals with suicidal ideation in a world so desperate to destroy people's hope is sehr stressig.

Beyond being a wretched bitch, I've pretty much been sick most of my life. And I have never found it more difficult to live with my brain.

I've existed in poverty since the age of 8. I'm 28 now. I don't have savings. I haven't worked for years because I had a nervous breakdown when I was 24 after being sexually assaulted. I tried CBT, beta-blockers, and a myriad of anti-depressants, guzzling on mushroom powders, but ultimately, I very much became a homebound agoraphobic once more.

I was diagnosed first with agoraphobia when I was 14.

I swear, I'm not an absolutely miserable cunt...

Well, not fully anyway.

Being reliant on the NHS for help my whole life has been nothing but a fucking nightmare. CAHMS was a joke, and it's only in recent years I started looking into the amount of people who were abused in that system. People didn't know what to do with a hyper anxious girl who could not simply slot in to a system of which worked for the majority. I next exceeded 20% attendance in a school year, despite the very helpful threats from social services.

I struggle to see how things have changed, frankly.

And I mention all of that to say that I've never felt more shame about my situation. I've never felt more scared about my future, especially when I am so reliant on my Mum, who is ageing like milk that's been left out on a patio in Portugal, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to help her as she gets older. My friend's lives are all falling into place, and mine has never felt so glum.

I was just curious to see if anything had indeed changed from when I was a child, and I saw a statistic of how more children are being submitted to A&E with self-harm injuries. And I can't help but ponder how shoving them on a waiting list for years and offering 6 sessions of CBT is going to help. I mean, two people I love attempted to take their own life and were just told to go back to their GP.

I don't feel all that positive right now.

I don't know why the fuck I think writing this on the internet is a good idea. However, people who play politics for a personality don't get that they make people who are struggling feel like debate fodder.

People are really fucking struggling, and if they get fucking 2% better, I'm sure most would take it. This incessant need to shit on anything that resembles some kind of hope is actually gross. And in fact, I think it's cruel.

Is 2% better the dream? No, obviously fucking not.

But am I going to fucking bite at the next middle-class person who goes on the internet or pops up on a TV panel and tells people who are struggling what to think? Yes.

I'm sharpening my teeth with an emery board as we speak.

Now, while we all sit on NHS waiting lists trying to convince ourselves that life just might one day get better, it'd be nice if more lefties on the internet would stop being such insufferable cunts.

[ihavedoorinsurance]

big long post abt bokutachi-kun bc i have worms

so. a little over a week ago, SoapOpera46 (or Yoli-chan) blessed us with this video and i would like to talk abt it at length. piece by piece. this is the true definition of sadan. so much so that it's going under a readmore (if those even matter anymore. i hear fumblr truncates posts automatically?) anyway

full disclosure: i didn't plan any of this. what's to come is basically word puke, off the top of my head, with no organisation or structure to it.

you won't be interested in this unless you're clinically insane. if you're looking for worthwhile opinions on the video, i recommend browsing the comments section. they're short, sweet, and easy to read. nnnnow, without further ado.....

I KU ZO

i'll start off saying i don't know shit about Dream (YUME-SAN as he is so graciously credited in the vid description)! not a damn thing! all i know is he's a Minecraft YouTuber, and up to just yesterday i didn't even know he made music! what seems to be very emo music if this song is anything to go by.

i looked up the lyrics seperately bc tbh i couldnt extrapolate anything from that singing. bokutachi-kun's a star talent and all bless his heart but i needed expert assistance. also according to the blurb at the bottom of the page i referenced, this song references the struggles of depression and ADHD! and myopia, most tragically of all.

here's a student copy.

what to note before we forge onwards: this is contextualised to us by Yoli-chan as a look into Bokutachi's history, saying she: "feeling it fit bokutachi-kun no past very much!!!"

i'm not sure how far in the past this is, but i have some vague ideas pinned on the information that, expressed by Episode 10, Raku and Koneko have already graduated (or dropped out of i'm not discounting that) college by the time the mainline story is in effect.

you also see these silhouettes

of what i assume to be the girls? at around 1:22, so i'm giving it anywhere from 6 to 14 years ago.

and if that seems like a wide ratio that's because it is!! i have no way of knowing what year of high school he's in, when exactly he graduated, how long it's been since then, or anything. i mean he's a fairly young man so i'll take that into account but that hardly helps

(also grant that none of the story takes off until after Raku and Koneko have left college long enough for Raku to call her fellow alumni "old" friends....also wtf what did they major in i've been asking this for years..you don't see them with jobs ever I MEAN PERHAPS KONEKO MAJORED IN NURSING THE COVID PSA DOES INDICATE SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL SO IDK)

but damn if any of that actually matters. you can't even peg the year by identifying hiis fatback monitor and Windows 98 ass OS

he is using some..EQUIVALENT of early msn messenger, maybe that puts this in the ballpark of 2000-2003

ik the Covid PSA isn't like properly canon or anything but i'll bet Raku is still using Win98 well after the OS's discontinuation anyway (it went out of service in 2006 if that helps.)

so if Bokutachi's old enough to be in any year of high school in 1998-2000 (assuming this computer is any indication. it might not be!), i'd wager a guess he's anywhere between 24-30 years old by the time NNSG properly starts (again assuming, that 2010 is the actual year the show takes place. once again, it might not be! it's at least post-Hatsune Miku, judging by the Christmas episode). this leaves room for college, but i doubt he went.

kind of what i already assumed, but it's fun trying to put these pieces together.

also can i just say i'm intrigued by the "nya, rawr" adlib in the beginning? that is Hitoshi's Thing, as we well know, but additionally, in the very beginning of the video, there is a box of pocky on the floor of the hallway.

pocky would happen to be one half of Hitoshi's favourite breakfast (plus ramune. this fuck drinks soda and eats cookies for breakfast what is wrong with him.), so i wonder if he had some knowledge of Hitoshi already this early on. we're operating on the premise that this is Bokutachi's younger self singing, right? did Hitoshi go to his school? we don't see him anywhere unlike Raku and Koneko, so idk. maybe "nya, rawr" is just a popular, cool phrase to say in Amerijapan.

potential cool thing: the one pocky stick upside down and sitting outside the box but near it might allude to Bokutachi himself. you do get the feeling he's lonely throughout the song, he's not got one close relationship with a real live person. not in school, not at home...

let's start talking about these lyrics.

I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time Stare at the ceiling while I hold back what's on my mind And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine" And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine"

--

so i like this set of frames

you see him happily chatting away, but abrubtly he gets tense and stops himself. only after his mood swing is acknowledged does he try to perk back up and affirm to whoever's asking that he's "just fine". clearly he feels some kind of pressure to bottle up his emotions.

the facade begins to wane slightly here: despite the open ears he remains reticent. another thing: he seems to just be very guarded when he's around people. like physically!

you see him holding himself in the midst of confrontation here, earlier he'd balled up his fist because he got upset thinking about something too long... his stance in general is very tight in public, from what i can tell.

here, he's got his arms firmly placed at his sides as he turns away from whoever it was that confronted him earlier. shortly afterwards when he's sure he's not being looked at, he drops his little half smile.

in the first image of this post, again at around 1:22-1:25 you see him holding his bookbag straps and powering through the hallways the longer he continues to walk, like there's a sense of urgency there.

and here, he's around people that are likely just minding their own business but he's just. not comfortable in any way. the song mentions at this point:

"Always bein' judged by a bunch of strange faces Scared to go outside, haven't seen the light in ages"

even though it seems he's being ignored for the most part. everyone who's addressed him thus far in the song has only ever asked him if he was okay. i have to wonder if he's being gossipped about behind his back for being an outcast and is well aware of it.

"haven't seen the light in ages" strikes me as metaphorical. light as in hope. light as in a reason to keep going.

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE MOMENT TO HIGHLIGHT THESE LYRICS

But the fact is I can never get off of my mattress And all that they can ask is "Why are you so sad, kid?" (Why are you so sad, kid?)

--

my guy has been in bed all day long, just awake and in bed dawn to dusk, tossing and turning unable to get to sleep. or even will himself to get up. he hasn't eaten, drank, brushed his teeth, showered, just. bed. and the first thing his (probably) legal guardian thinks to ask him when he FINALLY manages to find some strength is why he's so sad.

it'd be nice to interpret that in a compassionate way. i think best case scenario, his guardian(s) don't know how to help him and want to talk with him. approaching the subject of utter disengagement from the world is difficult when you haven't lived it, and i can't imagine mental health resources are plentiful in early 2000s Amerijapan.

but also he doesn't seem to trust his legal guardian(s)?? he's just as guarded with them as he is with strangers, look at this at around 0:56

he looks anxious trying to address either of them. the way he's looking back and forth between them it's like he's trying to get a word in edgewise but can't.

they're not particularly given identifiable features. they look fairly similar to the "strange faces" he sees judging him, except they're bigger. they cast a longer shadow and they're no comfort to him at all. helps that the lyrics accompanied are:

"And it just keeps on pilin' It's so terrifying"

--

which implies to me he's constantly in the habit of racking up shames in his legal guardian's eyes. like they pick at him frequently and find reasons upon reasons to scold him, and remind him of everything that's going wrong. maybe the pressure he feels to perform normalcy is derived from them, because if someone finds something "wrong" with him, they're going to pick and pick and demean him and lose faith in him. and that hits too close to home for him.

(i'm willing to bet he is/was physically punished too. like, shot in the dark, but that makes sense to me with how stiffly he walks and how clammed up you see him around ppl. i might be projecting though but hey. never said i was sure.)

I'D LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY GUY IS JUST CHRONICALLY ONLINE TOO

morning to night, he finds himself whiling away HOURS on the computer. time spent online (on messaging clients and what have you) outweighs time spent on homework, and studying, possibly eating. anything else that might beg his attention is forgotten.

anything else that might stress him out is forgotten when he turns on the computer. he can mask (OHOHOHOHO) his struggles online because there's no burden of expectation or obligation.

there's a freedom in his anonymity, in how he can choose his company, and lie about being happy, and they'd believe him. no-one asks questions. there's no pressure. and that makes him "happy" so to speak.

i say that because only when he's messing around online do we finally see him peaceful enough to go to sleep. the fog on his brain is lifted when he turns himself into this person that's full of confidence and takes life easy. and even though he might be faking it...

Been wearin' a smile for so long, it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

that'll happen to you when you use another skin to cope with your own shortcomings. i'm acutely aware of this in particular. this might be what some people refer to as irony poisoning? when you do something enough times, even if it's only for show, it becomes habit, and your habits aren't you as a person, but they can certainly shape you.

i wonder if he joked about dark sshit like kidnapping people and committing felonies, etc. to try and make himself let go of the fear of being judged by others. make himself stop feeling empathy so he'd stop acting so careful, thus unchaining himself from his own thought paralysis. plenty of people do that (and some become criminals later on, go figure)

anyhow later on we have a mental breakdown from about 1:31 to 1:39 with:

But I've been places So I'm okay-ish, so I'm okay-ish Yeah, I'm okay, bitch"

--

coupled with what seems to be a violent start from a dream of some kind?

not sure if this dream IS or is connected to the following scenes of walking through the school hallways + out in the grass, but that would actually make a lot of sense considering "haven't seen the light in ages" compared against his internet addiction. like he found a distraction and thus has little incentive to leave. i imagine he's skipping school and holing up in his room or something.

the effects of what he's doing seem to be catching up with him. you can see him high strung when he gets out of bed, and when he answers to what's likely his guardian(s), it snaps him.

i get the impression he either woke up with all this tension, then realised he slept through the morning and made it worse, OR. the dream sharply reminded him of his current circumstances and THAT made it worse.

maybe he's spiralling because he feels powerless. to stop himself from making bad decisions, from disappointing people, from pushing people away, from underachieving, from misusing his time, from taking his life for granted, from being alone...challenging these doubts about your own agency over your life is tough when you don't know where to start and also you're a teenager.

he's clearly wracked with despair over this but can't act in his own best interest due to closing off all avenues to recovery thanks to never opening up to anyone. god the more i think about it, the more i consider "why are you so sad, kid?" to be accusatory. if you feel singled out in being honest, of course you'll try to avoid that.

also note:

But the fact is I need help, I'm failin' all my classes

damn straight.

jesus that report card. look at that thing, that is straight Fs all the way down. i mean we know he hasn't been doing his homework but god ALL F'S??? IN EVERY SUBJECT????? you'd think he wasn't going to school at all, which kind of lends itself to my idea that he's just altogether not going. or when he is there, doing literally anything else but the work. god damn. relatable

that combined with his outburst, that epic door slam?? that might be what pulls him into the doctor's office later on. like his legal guardian(s) are just sick of his shit and so they get him psychoanalysed.

A FINE ANALYSIS FROM DR. ^w^ PHD, FUCKING "NORMAL JA NAI", WHAT A GENIUS ASSESSMENT. I'M SO GLAD THEY COULD TAP INTO THE HEART OF THE ISSUE AND ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSE OF HIS SUFFERING IN A THOROUGH AND SPECIALISED MANNER. BASED

no seriously even though that shit kills me every time i see it, i like the implication that they only vaguely diagnose symptoms, write a prescription, and send him on his way. like what's really wrong with him is being overlooked by professionals because the mental health awareness just isn't there. as exemplified by:

"They think that I need glasses"

which is a lyric i laughed at but also...that's kinda true to life. you'll say to your school's counsellor, everything that sings to the tune of someone with executive dysfunction. a spectrum disorder even. and they'll be like

"hm. move em up. they cant see the board that's why they're not taking notes right. have you talked to an ophthalmologist". offering bandaid solutions for bigger issues. and speaking of bandaid solutions, DRUGS

"I just really wish that I could pass this (Wish that I could pass this)"

That's what the mask is That's what the point of the mask is"

SDGLKMFKFKLDHNFGJKNGVF I RAN OUT OF IMAGE SPACE LMAOOOO

okay so basically from 1:49-1:59 Bokutachi goes through a moment of crisis where he laments his fate of being labelled as "NORMAL JA NAI". either he doesn't like the things the medication is doing to him or he's skeptical of taking them at all. regardless those shits are going inthe TRASH. my guy is like "fuck big pharma" out here

he is not in a stable frame of mind at all throughout this video. who knows if those pills would have helped. we'll never know because he doesn't trust them. he doesn't want to think of himself as someone who needs that kind of thing.

as far as he's concerned he doesn't! he has his chat group, he has FUCKING MINESWEEPER; if he were to try and "fix" himself now, what would happen to those spaces? would he still be able to navigate them? find the same joy in them as he once did? they're all that matters to him! he's become accustomed to the isolation and this is his only reprieve (read as: escape) from a hostile environment.

(how hostile it really is, that's sort of up in the air. i'm thinking he's got the makings of a dude with some kinda cluster A disorder. ADD and autism are also on my mind, depression because of the song's origins itself, but eh. i digress.)

you can see him calm himself down once it's time to boot up the computer again at 2:00.

so it would seem, he's already given up on trying to be more than what he is right now. change is scary though, i don't blame him. especially when you feel like it's being forced on you when you didn't ask.

maybe this is him trying to regain some kind of control, but...in a decidedly unhealthy way. by sticking his head in the sand and acting like nothing's wrong. burying the idea that he needs help makes him feel less like a problem that needs to be solved and more like a well adjusted person that's just misunderstood.

at 2:09 he pulls out his planner (i refuse to believe that's a smartphone LIKE COME ON THE TIMELINE. PLEASE) and you can kind of watch his stomach churn knowing there's shit to do but his alter ego doesn't care.

his alter ego isn't concerned with that bullshit. "nah i'll have time. i'll do it later. and if i don't get it done tonight, who cares? nothing's gonna happen to me and i don't gotta answer to anybody. i'm not scared." he's developing an apathy to responsibility b/c it frustrates him he can't manage it.

i have to ask if this is where his rebuke of social acceptability took root.

you even see him at around 2:21-2:26 pull out his medical records and write "daijoubu" next to the diagnosis. which also slays me but next to "NORMAL ja nai" it kind of reads like "not being normal is okay".

that's a perfectly fine stance to have when you're just a little kooky! just a tad silly! eccentric even! i don't know if that's something you should be saying to wave away EVERYTHING that could be affecting you (and potentially others if it goes unchecked), just because it makes you uncomfortable to stare it down! that's dangerous!! particularly when you don't know your limits

i'm also kind of loving 2:28-2:32??? where he raises his head to his legal guardians and he's smiling for the first time in front of them.

but now we're well aware all his smiles are performative. he's wearing the mask for them now too.

the fake it 'til you make it policy seems to be his safety net. in order to avoid being treated and seen like a walking blemish, something to be fixed, he's slowly grown to be more comfortable acting well to do, or at least unaffected. then people leave him alone. when he's loose and devil-may-care, he's allowed to be himself. which would be fine if that were honest.

in truth, he's extremely emotional. he's sensitive. he's scared and wound up. he's angry and he's self conscious. he cannot function in the way the world wants him to, and he can't stand his own inaction in the face of his self-inflicted demise. but when that's too shameful to bear, you don't seek anyone out. imagine how much more painful it would be to have someone see you flounder. they'll poke fun. they'll judge.

it's like he sees the world telling him to be better, and his response is to create what he thinks is an objectively better person. even though at the end of the day he is still who he is.

i wonder if he starts wearing that mask permanently because at one point he'd become aware there was no running from himself. with this being his only way to reconcile his failures, it was inevitable.

we end the animation with him going to sleep and his maegami "masked" self looming over the end credits. smiling is equated with wearing a mask consistently throughout the song, so i find the image of him going to sleep with a smile on his face pretty solidly telling me that he's starting the transition into becoming the Projected Bokutachi as opposed to Plain Bokutachi.

this is the beginning of his descent into a more dangerous, yet exciting and outgoing person. he is mentally unwell and owning it. i don't know what happened between high school and the NNSG plotline (or god forbid, what happened between childhood and adolescence), but here we definitely introduce some catalysts for his face-heel turn.

and now i have even more reasons to reconsider this little rat man's true motivations and character depth.

arigatou gozaimasu Yoli-chan (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

[dinosgoquack]

Greetings fellow fleshsuits, tis I.

I'm a greasy little ratbaby of a genderqueer. Vaccines turned me gay and autistic, 10/10 would recommend.

❗To the tradfems, truscum, and tiktok-addicts! Fuck off!❗

Fandoms

Arcane

Avatar the Last Airbender

Beetlejuice

Bluelock

Breaking Bad

Chainsaw Man

Demon Slayer

Genshin Impact

Girl From Nowhere

Heathers the Musical

Heaven Official's Blessing

Honkai Star Rail

House M.D

Jujutsu Kaisen

Junji Ito

Kakegurui

Maria Holic

Mob Psycho 100

Oshi No Ko

Saiki K

Seraph of the End

Sk8 the Infinity

The Locked Tomb

The Promised Neverland

The Tea Dragon Society

Link to my art blog:

Link to my pinterest:

[imnotasuperhero]

hello there! i hope you're doin' great!

i wanted to say that you're just a wonderful writer and actually really talented with what you do. that's a blessing when you can write anything you have in your mind.

and since i'm not blessed to turn my thoughts into words and you liked my last request... maybe you can give this one a chance?

that's not really a request, cause it maybe need more than just one post so i just call it an idea (remember that you don't have to write it ahaha! but i would really thankful if you just read this one.)

it's wanda maximoff x reader (since she's my... comfort character ahahah.)

so here we have wanda who's a talented performer and singer but she isn't blessed with writing skills so usually she just makes covers on other songs. on the other side we have y/n who's just an amazing writer, but she has one problem over it all she's sick. (i though that maybe it could be a specific type of cancer called retinoblastoma, cause it's not really visible and you can't just look at a person and surely tell that they have cancer.)

the action starts when wanda and her family moving to the usa and she has to go to a new school where she meets y/n. wanda really likes her as a person cause y/n has a charming and bubbly personality, she's always up to anything her friends can come up with and she's always here for people who's need her. she's usually happy and all. (i hope you got what i mean ahaha.) and wanda is just our favorite a little anxious emo girl.

so they start a friendship that comes to a romantic relationship. (also wanda doesn't know that y/n' sick cause y/n's trying to not think about it, cause she knows that she don't have much time, maybe just a few years.) y/n helping wanda with writing her own songs or just writes songs for her to perform (maybe a little time skip to a graduation here??) and then wanda gets noticed by a really famous and cool producer who's invites her to perform on his music festival.

so wanda's trying to write her own song to perform it on the festival and she does it perfectly fine. but a few weeks before the performance, wanda finds out that y/n's dying.

on the day of the performance y/n dies however wanda still goes on stage to sing (i thought maybe it could be a "wish that you were here" by florence + the machine.) and when she's done with singing she's just fall on her knees sobbing on the stage... (not literally but it could be a really emotional performance???)

and that's the end.

if you really finished reading this thing... i'm honestly thankful.

i hope you'll have a great day. stay safe and try to take breaks from time to time this really helps! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Oh, my! Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean the world 💕

About your request..

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!. I won't lie.. it left me with a headache and another sleepless night, but it was so freaking worth it. Not only for the amount of sadness I've got to share with you but because cancer is a well known disease and this served like some kind of catharsis. So from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

You can find the 6k monster here!

Ps, I'm loving your request for showing I can write over 3k words in one go 💕

[montanababe7]

*The update of go ministries international is posted after you read my personal go ministries international story.

Thanks for reading 📖. -Jessica Wolf

When I think about all that Jesus has carried me through & What happened to me in 2008, reminds me that no matter how challenging; with Jesus by my side; I can overcome everything. Yes, every word of this is true. I’m not a victim. I no longer have cptsd. Because Jesus healed me. I’m an overcomer. Read what I shared and you’ll learn why. I love you guys. Thank you all for praying and believing in me🙏🏼😭🥹: This is my go ministries international story: this is what I remembered when I asked Jesus to remind me of the things my brain blacked out for many years. *Warning ⚠️. What happened in 2008 was intense. What you are about to read isn’t for the faint of heart or younger readers. Please be advised.

>

> One memory I just now remembered was the Christmas production in 2008. we put on at lwcc, in that drama I was the emo/goth girl who was a cutter. Somehow, they had chosen to mock me even if they didn’t know I was suicidal for months and had fought the desire to slit my wrists.

Wrote this a few years ago: I’m just so thankful to JESUS and having a 🥵 hot mess moment right now😭🥺.

This might or not be in my upcoming go ministries international story...that happened in 2008 but, I am forever grateful to the intern or staff member who wasn’t fully aware just how depressed I was while at boot camp during the game at night.

(If you wouldn’t have walked over when you did- to where I was hiding in the woods during the pelting raining; and let me know that the meeting was starting. I would have successfully slit my wrists. I had a found a sharp rock and I was ready to end it all). I would have left go. But. It would have been in a body bag.

So. To whoever you are. I am eternally forever grateful Jesus had you walk over to me when you did🙏🏼🤯😭. Thank you. Jesus had you save my life.

> *Why did you decide to join go.

> As long as I can remember, I always wanted to pray for and minister to others. I wanted to show them Jesus. To show them His heart. When I saw that go ministries international they had a youth program; I wanted to learn everything I could, bless others back. So many precious young people are hurting and they just need someone to care. To reach out to them. To let them know they are never alone. To show them Jesus.

>

> 2. What were your first thoughts once you were an intern?

>

> The day before go started, I was with my family at living word Christian center. The core leadership seemed to care about me. They were so kind and seemed to be loving. Other people had a different thought. They told me, “Jessica, are these fake faces or faith faces.” At that point, I honestly did not know. I had wanted to believe the best in them. Little did I know, how truly wrong I would be the next day.

> My parents and family, had already dropped me off and were driving away. I assumed everything would remain happy. Seconds later, the leadership started screaming for all of us interns to get to the front lawn. I didn’t know why I felt complete terror. All I knew and could feel at that moment, was this: my hands went completely numb. I felt like throwing up as we were screamed at to start doing up downs and sit-ups, push-ups, the bear crawl, running back and forth. Many on my left and on my right were throwing up and passing out. The leaders didn’t care. They screamed at them to get back up.

> Next, we were told to fit as much or little into a duffle bag. The next thing we were told was to file into the vans silently. We were not allowed to talk to anyone. We were told to keep our eyes straight not looking in any direction. The bus ride to Wisconsin was several hours long. When we arrived that night, it was already dark out. They screamed at us to file into formation. For years, the memories have seemed like a bad dream. The distant memories blurred into dreams.

>

> 3. What were your most vivid memories of go. Good, and bad. How did it affect you?

>

> Alright, as soon as we all were on the line. They began spray painting numbers onto a T-shirt. I can’t remember what my number was. But, during that week; that number was my name. The week, I was no longer Jessica. I was nothing more than a number. We were told that we had to carry our bible, water battle, a stick, and an egg. We were forced to run far past the point of what seemed normal human endurance. At one point, I thought my heart and lungs would give out from all the running. I was told by one of the leaders that I had to keep running until they said to stop.

> The next thing I remember, was doing military style exercises that involved balancing on a small metal string, I slipped and the metal string slapped into my leg, it had cut my leg deeply into the bone. The bone was exposed. Blood was gushing everywhere. I couldn’t limp, let along walk. But, we were told that the word can’t wasn’t allowed. So, despite the deep pain-the leaders didn’t show me any levels of compassion or mercy. I had to run with blood gushing down my leg. I couldn’t stop crying. After that we were forced to run up and down slippery stairs for 2 to three hours at least nonstop. After that, we were told that we had to carry a hundred pound cross up and down the stairs.

> The other memory that I can’t forget: being awoken out of sound sleep with a blow horn to my heart and being told to clean a building from top to bottom in the middle of the night. The nights turned into days. And the days turned into nights. The mere idea of food or even eating became unneeded to my weary and tired brain at that point. I didn’t want to throw up. Thankfully, I never did. But the feeling was horrible eating and being forced to eat everything on your plate. Then, you had to run. For hours. Or whenever they decided for us to stop running.

> I remember we had rock experiences, where we had to pick up huge boulders that were so sharp. The rocks began to cut my wrists and my arms. I was forced to wear long sleeves for weeks; because the leaders didn’t want people assuming that I’d cut my wrists.

> The next memory is very painful. They called it judgement day. We all had to line up once again and wait our turn. When my name was called, I had to recite from memory Ephesians 6:10-12 from the message or amplified version. But, if we forgot the verse at all-we would be pushed off the dock. Mind you, it was nighttime and freezing out. I was pushed off

> The dock twice, I walked back to my spot in line. I was freezing cold and I worried that I’d die of hyperthermia. I couldn’t stop shaking. No one asked me if I was alright. No one asked me how weak I felt or how numb my body had become. They simply screamed at me. They called me a failure.

> That night, I had to sleep in freezing, wet clothes. We weren’t allowed to shower they week. We were their slaves and how they treated us-we were nothing. They even took our cell phones away. Gee, wonder why.

> The next memory was the communist game. We were awoken once again out of sound sleep with a blow horn to our ears. It’s a miracle I didn’t go deaf or lose any hearing. We were told we were being arrested for being Believers in Jesus. And we had to find the hidden tracks before the other communists found them. We had to run in the freezing rain. I ran to a hiding spot. Somewhere deep in the forest. It was pelting rain. I huddled onto the grass and bawled my eyes out-laying in a fetal position. Telling myself that somehow I’d survive this. I asked Jesus to take me home that night. I wanted to find a rock or anything sharp and end it all. I was done.

> The next second, someone grabbed my arms and told me I was going with them. They brought us to a building where we had to sit completely still. No movement. Zero movement was allowed. We had been up for over 24 to 48 hours without sleep. Anyone who started to doze off had a blow horn to their ears. I kept slapping my cheek just to stay awake.

> We get back to the ranch in mora, Minnesota. We are told that daily we’ll have pt. Every morning at 5 or 5:30 sharp. Meet outside of the house. If we were late. We would have to write down Luke 16:10 100 times. If we failed, they’d add on another hundred more. That was only the beginning of the nightmare.

> One of the days of pt, I heard my back snap when we were doing up downs. I told one of the leaders that I couldn’t run anymore and she screamed at me. Threatening to punish me even worse for simply saying, “I can’t.”

> Fast forward to a month or two later, my confidence was already shot. Not to mention, I had lost 10-15 pounds at bootcamp. My ankles, legs, and feet were so swollen that I couldn’t even put socks on and my pants wouldn’t even fit. The physical breaking was terrible. But the emotional breaking nearly destroyed and almost killed me.

> I was told that I would be put on ministry probation. They prevented me from praying for anyone. I couldn’t speak to anyone unless they addressed me first.

> Only few of the people there showed me one ounce of kindness. I snuck showers, because I was so depressed that I want to slit my wrists. I had a plan to bleed out in the shower. So no one would know. Those thoughts went through my mind for those four to five months I was there.

> One night, the female leadership told us that we had to strip down to our bras and underwear. But, if any of the boys found out; we’d be writing sentences till our hands fell off. We were told to shower with other girls. I never did. I snuck showers.

>

> 4. When did you leave and when did you realize they were toxic?

>

> How go affected me. My dad said hi to me one Sunday. I didn’t call him as dad. I called him, sir. My dad broke down and cried. He looked at me, and said, “Jessica, I’m your father. Not sir. What did they do to you?”

> My birth mother pulled me into the church bathroom one night and said, “we’ve had enough of them treating you this way. We’re taking you back home to Hutchinson tonight. Lie if you have to. But, you’re not going back to go. We’ll leave your stuff there.” I lied to one of my leaders. I felt terrible. I cried the whole way home.

> When I got home. I called friends and they didn’t even recognize me. I didn’t act the same. I had nightmares and my room was blood red. Go gave me ptsd. I was in multiple inner counseling sessions. I’ve had many panic attacks. Flash backs. Different times where I would hyperventilate.

> The signs of go being a cult are obvious:

> *They tell you-that they are your family.

> *zero contact with the outside world.

> *they took our cell phones away.

> *they shut the water off.

> *they stopped communication with me after I left.

> I was told that I lacked faith. Reality: I ran out of money.

> But. Jesus has been healing my heart. I’ve forgiven the leadership. I pray what I have shared with you all today is a warning and an alert to the youth who might consider go ministries international. I’m sharing my story so you never have to attend or experience what myself or others have seen and heard. I want to spare you from this pain. And hold the hearts of the ones who are still suffering because of go or the ones who are stuck in go and don’t know how to get out. Know that I’m praying for you. I’m praying for the complete healing of your heart. That there is so much love in your heart. Never forget who you are. That’s what go wants. But, Jesus wants you happy and whole. I want my life to seen as someone who helps others escape from the trenches and hold you close. You each have giftings and talents. Don’t allow go ministries international to ever steal your purpose or your identity. You are not a mistake. God loves you. He has never stopped loving you. I pray that you can feel Jesus heart even in my message.

> -Jessica

*Copied and shared:

For those curious here is a rough timeline of events that ended up ending Go. (It was keeping me up, had to write it out to get some sleep!)

2019- Pastor at NLT steps down from pastor due to some bad stuff. (I know what it is but isn’t important at the moment.) This is the event that ended up causing Go to stop going to NLT and just stay on property. (We watched Living Words services. Kinda weird dressing up for a TV.)

Late 2019/early 2020- Go is looking for a new place as contract with NLT ends in May (extended to June 2020).

Missions Trip to Guatemala two days later COVID! Everything shuts down.

In May 20, Go moves 2 miles down the road to SC Church taking over the west wing of the youth building. We make dorm rooms and Pastor Dwane (RIP) comes down and builds showers. (For the first month, we had to travel to Evangel High School to shower either in early morning or evening. I opted to drive myself like most sane people.)

2020-2021 at this point Josh and Laci are youth pastors and the absorption begins. (Go becoming one with SC Church)

2021-2022 The last “normal” Go Year. At this point my friend Jano leaves at the mid year point. (Jan 23) He was the last “intern director.” He over stayed but kept a promise to Steve Munds to be there until Steve was 70.

2022-2023 No interns. Only about 5 people left who are in SC Collage. (That year was called SC Collage- Let’s Go). (Any Go staff are getting jobs for SC Church. At least they pay.)

Feb. 2023- Go Dies. Cancels every single road trip (Fusion, New Mexico, C4C).

June 2023- the dorm rooms on campus are closed.

March 2024- I get random phone call from Josh. I ask him about the state of Go. He tells me Go hasn’t even been on the back burner. No future plans as of right now for it starting again but could see it being a Missions Trip focused ministry.

Throw in there Schouty fired from A Glorious Church and C4C Oct. 2023. Literally he feels betrayed because neither the Bredahls or Steve Munds have reached out to him. So it’s like his whole world around him and 15 years of service collapsed to nothing all at once.

[siriusist]

Also I'm laughing because in the way they've portrayed Alys Rivers in the show, I'm sort of in love because she's just sort of a chill emo girl who makes people feel the consequences of their actions, and Aemond is going to enter this as the most high strung, ✨YoU Can't TeLL Me WhAt To Do MuM✨levels of emo, and it's just two sides of the emo scale colliding when they meet.

Like, Alys is the chick who enjoys the aesthetics of emo and gets bullied at school, but is just ultimately a nice person who just does her own thing and minds her own business until someone fucks with her- and Aemond is just childhood trauma emo who keeps it all inside and is just like ✨IM FINE WHY WOULD YOU SAY OTHERWISE-

I'm all for this emo lovefest when they finally meet up and bless their little emo hearts-

[m1ckeyb3rry]

bored and don’t feel like writing so here’s a list of which bllk boys i think characters from my various fics would end up with and why 👍 (inspired by one of my mutuals mentioning a crossover between bllk and one of my aot fics hehe). this is such a silly unserious post pls don’t take it to heart HAHA

pomegranate ink:

y/n would probably go for yukimiya!! considering her relationship with yuta, she prefers a guy who is talented and can hold his own, but is also gentle and soft for the most part. out of everyone in bllk i think yuki fits the bill best so i would say him.

tullia would end up with isagi!! she mentions that her type is someone kind, patient, and calm, with a sense of humor and skill at their chosen profession. if we ignore isagi’s on-field shenanigans he mostly hits every point!! i was between him and nagi for her but idk how kind and patient nagi is exactly JDSKDJJZ i think pomegranate ink tullia would stress him out so we’re going to go w isagi here

elakshi pulls up in the fic for a chapter or two, leaves, gets with a clan heir, and then flees the country with said clan heir during the final battle. truly there is no one more suitable for her than loki!! they can make random guest appearances together #couplegoals

hurricanes / hummingbirds:

it’s super hard to imagine past y/n with anyone besides kashimo, but i think if there’s any bllk boy who can match her and kashimo’s 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴, it’s kaiser!! he’s got a traumatic backstory (like kashimo), thinks hurting other people is the same as loving them (like kashimo), is one of the most talented in his generation (like kashimo), doesn’t understand emotions well (like kashimo), and is a surprisingly poetic asshole (like kashimo). so i guess kaiser it is!!

present y/n doesn’t explicitly like anyone, but out of all of the guys she interacts with (besides kashimo), nanami is the closest to being her love interest (he would’ve been if she didn’t have the hummingbird’s blessing), so if we’re looking at a bllk man for her, the only choice is everyone’s favorite emotionally repressed blond king, noel noa!! not my type personally, but to each their own. he would teach her how to do her eyeliner better than even naoya zenin, which fixes something deep within her that has been broken since she realized the worst man she knows has cunty makeup. how sweet!!

a song for the drowned/in chase of a mourning dove:

principessa y/n is a bit basic i am afraid…one thing abt her she WILL go for the dark haired blue eyed sassy emo combo every time!! rin itoshi is the obvious option (as long as he guards her well and is willing to risk his life to be with her, ofc). he’d be a little more irreverent than megumi, but considering principessa y/n loved megumi’s rude ass moments she probably would enjoy that.

lady tullia would like isagi at first (much like how she liked yuta) but she would eventually end up with hiori (how she would’ve ended up with inumaki). hiori has that sweetness but also a bit of a sharp tongue, and he seems like he’d be politically savvy, so i can see this working out well

asftd/icoamd elakshi is lesbian so she’s not getting w any of these losers 🔥 ig anri is the only choice by process of elimination 😭

ship in the harbor:

well. okay so this y/n is a very special girl 💖 iykyk…i think she would probably go for karasu (NOT biased)!! he has a vibe of competency and stability that she would really appreciate, and he’s the perfect blend of friedrich and hadrian in that he’s an asshole and would have no qualms abt calling her out when needed/responding to her sarcasm with his own, but he’s also very mature and good at reading people, so he wouldn’t push her too far or anything. i think he, a supportive man without any traces of ptsd or codependency, would be a breath of fresh air for her and exactly what she needs after everything she’s been through

not romantically, but i can see friedrich and colt liking chigiri!! and honestly they (esp friedrich) would find bachira funny so he’d be part of the crew too. definitely a lethal combo overall!!

endure:

endure y/n is childhood-best-friend-sexual so being realistic she’d just marry whichever one she knew since she was a kid HAHAH. jokes aside she did have a crush on reiner so i think in a non life or death situation she would like kunigami!! he would make her feel very safe and protected, and he’d probably enjoy taking care of her, so they’d have a good relationship

tullia ral only ever dated/liked jean, so if she were to be paired w a bllk boy, it would be reo — a good leader who’s more talented than believes, has self confidence issues that he hides w cockiness, and is handsome/a people person. much like jean!! except reo would’ve been able to buy that candy for her from trost and he wouldn’t even have had to dress up like a clown to do it so this is actually an upgrade on her part

[faith--in-the-future]

milano summer festival recap

what a dayyyy !!!

first of all I arrived and the line was so fucking long I'm not kidding I had to walk 30 minutes to get to the end and the venue people had realized how many we were and opened the gates at like 1pm instead of 6pm skjsk it was INSANE and I was so emo already about seeing so many people there for my little guy 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I thought Milan in April was huge but this show was more than double the size !! it was incredible!!

so many fans are so young like I was genuinely one of the oldest excluding the parents 😭 I was like what do u study ? and they were like oh Im still in high school!! rippppp but I'm glad many people are still finding louis ! the girls next to me became fans just last year !! although all those parents standing around us not knowing the words were kind of annoying like go to the back man !!!!

also there was a big game in the stadium next to us and the line for that was right next to our line so there were all those dudes in footie jerseys looking at us with our flags and signs skjs it was very like 2 worlds collapsing and one guy yelled at us "there's the game and u guys want to see 1d??" and I was like sorry if we have TASTE ksjsk

when we finally got in everyone was lying on the grass picnic style and there were stand with food and drinks and merch all around! it was really cute !! and the stage was HUGEEE

fast forward 5 hours (🥲) to the snuts and they were good although nobody knew a word and it was v awkward sjjsks but they didn't seem too annoyed sjks I felt bad also bc I couldn't even understand them ripp

then finally louis !!!! literally nothing will ever compare to the wmi intro and that feeling!!! gahhh so good !! bigger than me was fucking amazing live I feel so blessed 😭😭😭 the visuals and lights are absolutely a work of art they look so beautiful! and then it zooms on the fans when he says it's bigger than me ??? the intelligence in that ! the emotion !!! the ART!! and not many people knew it well yet so u can hear his voice fairly fell and it was so good 😭 I'm so proud of how far he's come !!! it's so impressive!! his VOICE!! God!! and then he was like so glad we got that out of the way !!! skdjkd he's so funny 😭 he looked so cute, this little red dot running around like crazy to wave to everyone!! and on the big screens he was so HANDSOME!! and he kept interacting with the fans in the front and making silly faces and being absolutely wonderful!!! he was so happy and emotional and proud you could FEEL it in the air it was so 😭😭 I'm just so incredibly happy for him he makes my heart so full :((( <3333 when he sat down to make his speech I was crying and in the other moments u could see how much he was in disbelief and I just wanted to yell YOU DESERVE ALL THIS AND MOREEEE !!!!! I hope u get to do this forever!!!

I'm kinda sad I didn't get to hear change bc I also didn't have it at my show in April but we got BTM so it's fine skdjdk also nobody knew the words to 7 it was so Annoying like he's been playing this for ages people!! I was singing tho sjsjsk and I'm kinda glad I could hear his voice so well !! also in beautiful War God that song sang by him is so fucking stunning and hearing him say the warmth of your bodyyyy always makes me shiver !! I would do anything to be his s/o it's true 😭😭😭 also there were SO many fireworks all the time it was such a good show !!!!! the walls visuals are also so beautiful and clever!!! and the band was at the top of their game !!! Steve and Michael absolutely smashed everything and every time they were in the screens u could see how fucking hard they were going!! I'm sure everyone was emotional about the tour ending 😭😭 ltwt you were everything and more!!!!

I'm so grateful I got to experience louis' growth and healing process with him and that I got to be even a small part of that journey and of the happiness that he was radiating tonight ♡

being a louie is such an honor and constant reminder that your heart can always store more love and pride for that sweet little man ! it never ends !!! love you forever louis ❤

ps: special thanks to @weareonejazzhand for allowing me to have this experience and to @tanktop-lou for the ride ! love ya !

I leave you with a pic of the state of my poor shoes