#birthdays continue to stress me out socially because im shit at planning and generally feel like im bothering people
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veradune · 4 months ago
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Just spent a week in a hut in the woods with six other people and I was pretty much done with the experience on day two due to one woman bringing the drama (I knew she would but I didn't warn anyone because I figured hey I probably contributed to our past conflicts hahahaaaa)
She legit almost lit the hut on fire, I woke up in a pitch black smoke filled top bunk at 1am so that was cool 🙃
Even at the best of times group backcountry trips tend to leave me non-functional for a few days due to sheer introverted burnout. But throw in a very ugly PMDD attack on day four of the trip, coming back to discover that my first and only car was totaled in a minor parking failure PLUS the usual upcoming birthday anxiety and I'm pretty wrecked over here.
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So Jazmine was trying to get her DNA changed to be Brian's child.
She asked me to remove the "daddy's race girl" clothing from the baby registry. So i looked and turns out there wasn't an actual item that said that. So we are good and kept those items.
The nursery section is still under construction and I agree with Alex wait till you see me to buy. Although what he was saying was he has no intention of me going.
Well he's an ass hole and i am not.
And my no the refused to change the twins DNA Only because Jazzy didn't include Annabelle.
Who is Alex Laughlin's biological child he chose to neglect and abandon and doesn't pay child support.
Jazzy says "i meant.. Us.. All. To change our DNA"
"Yep that i can do since you're verbally including Annabelle as well to make sure." Replied my mom
My mom is SO SO SO SO SO SO mad at Alex Laughlin right now. She could choke him out to death in 5 point 6 seconds.
Regardless whether their DNA is changed.
The point i want to express is that i will allow my children to pick who is in thier lives, I always have with Annabelle. When she wanted her gramma Denise I allowed it even if i declared war and was not on speaking terms with her and made it clear i didnt want her in my life.
Alex is from Planet Timbuktu which had imploded in the 1960s and was from a galaxy next door. They were out to visit an their equipment broke down and they just stayed. So anyone trying to find them and succeeding was allowed to stay. They were turkey shaped. Which caused Thanksgiving to be a world wide holiday before it was an USA One.
Of course Zulululu doesn't want to talk about that as they are unwanted invaders and dont want anyone to know about invasions or even aliens.
So Alex was about two years old and he hasn't matured greatly since then. An LLPD said they all adore Alex, always all "come here give me hugs!" But Brian they stand up straight with respect and love and gratitude. And are all "do you want a hug?"
Brian says no. Usually I will say yes until I have a person to person issue to cause me to say no. Or my back hurts.
Brian will say yes when its been earned. Like trust or some form of respecting quality.
Anyway my point besides all the side stories is my kids will face the same as many of you.
My daughter is 16. Does she keep the past company or does she look to the future with Alex? If she has a choice. And i will make sure she does. And if Alex has a problem then my fist and his face will have a close and frequent relationship.
My twins can make their choice up front. They have that right. Hurt him now or risk being hurt themselves.
Windy says she would like two dads. But Jazzy screams "Noooo!" When Windy says that. So I tell her she can stay home with mommy.
Now if this fucking idiot just thinks hes gonna be all willy nilly about just picking up my kids as he sees fit. Well he's fucking wrong.
I'm talking like 16 grown ass men that know fear and hate standing around with AK47 and M16 and shit. I'm not fucking playing. Hes dumb. Plain and simple.
Like dopey he's all cute and shit and the odd one out. But he's not respectable. And definetly not trust worthy in any adult fashion.
He's just a party boy. Which makes him a good friend to have. But. A parent? No. A husband? No.
Windy is all "fine an uncle then"
Alex is all "wow you make it sound like you want nothing to do with me"
Really? He fucking lies. I really don't to be honest. For why would I want to be friends with a liar that treats me like I'm worthless?
I've had at least two husbands I treated tbat way because to me they were. Like they were worthless but I didn't lie to their face. I embraced their inequality and tried to support and encourage them. And I never took their kids from them. Someone's trash is someone else's treasure.
So Alex wants to continue treating me and our kids like trash. Then bye bye.
He doesn't even see that he does. He thinks hes right. Like I said his maturity is very low. Very Dopey. From Snow White and the Seven Drawves if you haven't caught my drift yet.
But he's creative. Just irresponsible. Careless and clueless.
His feelings are more important. Because he fainted when Annabelle was born he decided to flee. Like she would be crawling out my vagina every day. Can't handle diapers. Fucking weakling.
So she's 16 and in just a few short months she will be 17. And we definitely will not be at that race. But somewhere celebrating her life. Because her birthday falls on a race day.
Whether he wants to do something the week before or not that's up to him, but she's not gonna be at the Races when she can be someplace exotic and un ordinary.
Because im the mom. Im the single mom. And her and i have been a team. He's never WANTED or made an EFFORT to be in her life.
Whether or not i would want him in my life doesnt matter. Because I am UNINPORTANT to him.
It makes me angry. I can't even be sad although my anger is stormed by sadness. For him. And mostly my almost 17 year old daughter.
He's fucking weak. And my daughters all need to know that.
Brian does dumb shit because hes too over protective. 8 tours in Iraq. So yeah he's a bit afraid to cause me daily stress if he's gonna die. So he's stayed out of my life. It didn't work though, I figured it out. But also I didn't worry. And believe me. He got his shit beat from him. I wasn't nice about it. For years. If i got in a bad mood. He heard ALL about it. Straight from me and if he didn't he got scared.
So he got his karma. The difference is he's not afraid or whiny about which formula is best for each twin or if they do or don't want a dirty diaper. Or want to use the potty.
And he's not selfish. Which is why people are all "oh give me hugs little Alex" vs standing up straight and asking with respect if ole boy can do with a hug. Steal a hug from the little selfish boy. Ask from the generous man.
I wasn't intending to rant
But to encourage other people to allow their children to choose their parents.
There's a lot of death happening and sadness and people feel hopeless, so to "rant" and compare people is imperative right now. It IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
Imperative. I relate the word to inoperable and operable. Which means able to operate. Which means work. Imperative means the most important to cause something to work.
So be imperative to your child's companions. Parents are dying.
They need to decide who their replacement is. Gramma. Uncle. Cousin. Stranger.
My 3 girls are no different.
I also had to do the same. I was an orphan and due to amnesia, I'm with who I was "stuck" with. My uncle and a Zulululu I'm aimed to kill.
So Annabelle was stuck with an abusive surrogate Alex picked. Until I got a divorce. The summer after kindergarten, he moved out. Legal divorce didn't come for years because he became abusive about it and so as long as he moved out and left us alone.
For awhile Annabelle wanted to be with her surrogate. So for 2nd grade I gave in and let him for October to March split the week. But she decided she didn't like it
So I had to deal with his whining and crying and bull shit about wanting to see her more
She didn't like him. He was dumb and a Zulululu and selfish. So I stood up to him. It didn't matter to him she didn't want to see him.
Just like I know it won't matter Annabelle will want to see Alex to Alex or his little pathetic friends he finds so important.
But I also know she doesn't give a shit any more. You all think I'm harsh?
Ill be all "this is your biological father he chose Michael to be your dad" she will spit in his face. If I add "because he fainted when I was in labor with you" she would laugh in his face, tell him he's pathetic and ask when we can leave.
It's the truth. I could list all his great qualities and all it will do is hurt her. Because if he's so great, why doesn't he care about her? She would cry.
So fuck that. "Here's him. This is what he did. And why"
Intuition and past experiences takes care of the rest.
I think its extremely important who i am with because of her. But she says "why the fuck would i care?" Uhh duh cause you're still my kid. Her answer is if he's a piece of shit you'll drop him and if not ill fucking move and take care of myself.
And me "well lets get down to it if he's in there raping and molesting you or beating you then you better dam well tell me. Tell me it doesn't fucking matter because it sure as hell does matter your opinion"
"Those are about facts" im told.
Well fucking a relief, we are in this together!
"Well it does matter if you like him because if we go it to eat or to the movie or something"
"Well i will just use him for money"
"Well that's not a high quality of life. Id rather you use someone for money that you actually like and enjoy being with"
"That's not using them for money! That's something different! Idk what its called. What's it called?"
"Allowing someone to be generous and enjoying companionship or company with them. And that's not a bad thing as long as you appreciate it"
"Appreciation! Its called using someone for money but liking it! I mean appreciating it! Am i right?!"
Well yeah, in all technical terms.
"Or allowing someone to be your daddy?"
"How come not mom?!"
"Because im not gay or bi sexual"
"I am already through with dads. Can you be gay or even just a little bi sexual, a little for me please?"
"No"
Same shit since she was 8. Half her life.
And Alex is the one that made sure she would be through with dads. Brian was standing right there. And he picked someone known to be abusive and on drugs and an alcoholic.
So really. If you ask me. Spit is kind. He deserves to be shot in the face.
She won't hold me back. But i can't make her uncomfortable or unhappy because she gives me freedom.
That would break my own heart.
So i encourage others especially those suffering wirh COVID to make your plans.
I have in my WILL actually an 18 year old when I made it to take her. I have a house with the social security she would get from my death it would be enough to split the mortgage and bills. The 18 year old works.
It allows him, its not her soul mate but what I believed to be a blood relative, to get out on his own and be with a young adult that needs to be looked after during her time of need in case of my death.
Make sure food is available, the home is clean, bills are paid, doctor appointments are done and so on. And that life has a bit of fun, on top. And little stress due to him not wanting to be a parent but a friend.
An 18 year old more responsible than her own father or the other he had picked.
For him an affordable safe place to live and for her an adult to be legal guardian so she can be left alone by Denise and Michael. Both aggressive enough to lock the door and not open it when someone on the other side isnt wanted. And kind enough to take time to understand why the other chose to not open the door and support that or at least let it live.
Because that is what my daughter needs. Someone to support that and someone of legal age and capabilities to provide decent living conditions.
And enough in common to enjoy life. And enough respect to allow differences the other may not prefer to do or have.
And so that is what i have set up.
He's not full of infinite wisdom or even all the time patient or unaggrevating. But he's kind enough. And he's not altogether selfish. Self orientated but so is she and so am I.
That's independent with a demand to be cared for and about.
And luckily they mesh well enough.
Alex could have but he chose fear. Not responsibility.
Although he promised he wouldn't. Swore up and down..
His friend Ben that goes by Matt, "she's never going to get pregnant just come on with me"
They left. So i sent a pregnancy test over to where they were. "Oh that's fake" said Ben.
Well i have an almost 17 year old that DNA4U says is Alex's.
But Ben mattered. Not me. Not her.
And certainly not Alex.
While that makes me sad that Alex doesn't even care about himself i know there's nothing i can do about that and i def will not make excuses to him to any of our daughters.
And I would just as soon want to write him off myself.
No point in caring for someone like him. Not any proof of that in my life. Its just a waste of time and energy
So please write a WILL and email it to those that are leaders in your family and who it includes.
Example:
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
I want Sam to have my 3 cars.
I want Janice to have my house.
I want Jacklyn to have guardianship of my kids. She can find my life insurance and bank information in my safe. I have provided that information about my safe in a place I will tell my friend Sally.
For my last testaments those will also be located by Sally and given to whom needs to know.
Then i sign my legal name and i email it to Jacklyn, Janice and Sam as well as Sally.
Then Sally comes over and i tell her "look on top the fridge, i taped the envelopes you need down" or "look under my drawer, pull it out and look above youll find the info in case I die"
Jacklyn doesnt need to know all my insurance or bank info now and it might change between now and then. I told my kid, just look in my wallet. She's beneficiary and so she gets all everything. And some banks offer life insurance.
I chose someone my daughter can get along with and won't change her or force her to feel her choices are wrong. Someone whom will accept her and she can accept without changing her lifestyle very much.
So please do do so for your kids and please do ask.
Sure there are more legal ways but this is pretty desperate times and so a judge fully understanding it is your true will and testament and can prove it by your IP address and email address it is valid even in court
Further you can text from your phone number "I've emailed you my last will and testament to [email protected] from my regular email, [email protected] if you're worried about securing that legality
I text my entire WILL then emailed it. So They have two proofs. Then emailed it to myself.
So. The point is to validate the identity of the writer.
Once that is done what is written is the legal will.
Sally also knows where the title of the cars are -- in my safe and Sally is named my executer of my will although I didn't use the formal words that's who she is.
Jacklyn is younger and knows Sally so she will let Sally take the kids and so on. Which I wrote in request in the safe because I don't want to negoatate or questions. Its what I want.
And Sally will give that to Jacklyn in a sealed envelope even Sally didn't look in. "Family plan for Jacklyn" saying EXACTLY how I want my children raised. No spanking. No drugs or drinking under 18. No sleep overs with boys. No disrespect but facts. And to see Sally twice weekly. Plus normal clothing and feeding and shelter. Which Jacklyn has proven capable.
Even more I could just emailed the above and said "Sally has my last will and testament" if i wanted to keep the peace and not hear about how im driving Sam's inheritance wrong according to Sam.
I gave everything to Annabelle which is what her guardian would need to know so I told them both.
Of course the future will change that but...
Even so that's all her life. The twins aren't born yet and didn't have nearly their whole life in that house.
And of course saddling an 18 year old with nearly 17 year old is different than new borns. And by the time it gets to it she will be 18. So. She won't need a guardian...
So. I encourage you all to grasp your future and atrmpt a control of it after your death.
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asianry416 · 8 years ago
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1 to 200~! :D hue hue hue hue >:3
woooooooooooooooooooooooow thats so evil of you
200: My crush’s name is: no one for now199: I was born in: 96 toronto canada198: I am really: weird and hard to understand197: My cellphone company is: telus 196: My eye color is: brown195: My shoe size is: 11.5194: My ring size is: 9193: My height is: 5′9192: I am allergic to: idk I been getting heavy spring allergy191: My 1st car was: 94 lexus es300190: My 1st job was: kfc 189: Last book you read: my college textbook188: My bed is: wat? it’s queen size187: My pet: no pets186: My best friend: my 3 childhood friends from 11 years old185: My favorite shampoo is: head and shoulders 184: Xbox or ps3: wat about ps4? ima playstation guy183: Piggy banks are: easy to break into to182: In my pockets: my phone 181: On my calendar: i dont have one180: Marriage is: one of the happiest moments in a person’s life179: Spongebob can: cook krabby patties 178: My mom: is my life.177: The last three songs I bought were? i never brought songs...176: Last YouTube video watched: highlights of this years nba season175: How many cousins do you have? a shit load 174: Do you have any siblings? 2 younger brothers173: Are your parents divorced? yes172: Are you taller than your mom? yes171: Do you play an instrument? i played violin in secret all through high school170: What did you do yesterday? I went to the government office to fix my name and came home and just watched shows[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: to a degree yes168: Luck: yes167: Fate: yes166: Yourself: a bit165: Aliens: yes164: Heaven: yes163: Hell: yes162: God: yes161: Horoscopes: yes160: Soul mates: yes159: Ghosts: yes158: Gay Marriage: yes157: War: knowing how greedy humans are and we ruin everything we touch its in our nature yes156: Orbs: no 155: Magic: no [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses153: Drunk or High: high152: Phone or Online: phone151: Red heads or Black haired: red hair150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot148: Summer or winter: winter147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: apples143: Curly or Straight hair: straight142: McDonalds or Burger King: burger king141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: white chocolate 140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops ima guy i never wore high heels before138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi 136: Hillary or Obama: obama135: Burried or cremated: cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: coach132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who the hell are they?131: Small town or Big city: big city im a city boy130: Wal-Mart or Target: wal mart 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben stiller 128: Manicure or Pedicure: shit ummm manicure??127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: fuck the yankees RED SOXS[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: will always exist because weapon businesseses and government make money off it121: George Bush: idc tbh 120: Gay Marriage: love is love why is this an issue 119: The presidential election: with trump in power he will fuck everything up not nationally but internationally.118: Abortion: tbh if u get pregnant because you weren’t careful thats on you abortions should be allowed for raped victims.117: MySpace: idk wat that is 116: Reality TV: they never entertained me, i don’t understand why they exist115: Parents: should be the stepping stone to the next generation to succeed higher 114: Back stabbers: they exist everywhere, it could be your lover, your friends, even family113: Ebay: i use kijiji 112: Facebook: is the last place you need to post private posts.111: Work: everyone’s gotta make a living right?110: My Neighbors: I have a old lady next door who lives alone I check on her everyday idk why her kids left her to live alone she can’t even walk.109: Gas Prices: will continue to climb supply and demand 108: Designer Clothes: cool i have a few107: College: stresses me out 106: Sports: love to play sports and watch it 105: My family: my mom and 2 brothers, there’s no one else 104: The future: I will shine, I will succeed, I will prove everyone that Im not just another ghetto kid from the hood.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: 2 days ago my classmates102: Last time you ate: 2 hours ago chicken wings101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: I was in my college gym playing basketball and I saw my high school friend100: Cried in front of someone: 2 months ago my dad’s death anniversary in front of my childhood friends99: Went to a movie theater: a week ago fast and furious 898: Took a vacation: december to minnesota 97: Swam in a pool: last summer 96: Changed a diaper: 2 months ago my baby cousin 95: Got my nails done: never 94: Went to a wedding: back when I was like wat 693: Broke a bone: never 92: Got a peircing: when I was one month old my mom got my ear pierced 91: Broke the law: i spend most of my senior year 2 years ago in jail90: Texted: 3 hours ago [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: my youngest brother88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my bed87: The last movie I saw: fast and furious86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: graduating 85: The thing im not looking forward to: 84: People call me: ry83: The most difficult thing to do is: trust82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: 3 to be exact 81: My zodiac sign is: aries80: The first person i talked to today was: my mother 79: First time you had a crush: like 3rd grade no names tho78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my father back when we was alive77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my youngest brother.76: Right now I am talking to: a bunch of people75: What are you going to do when you grow up: a social worker, helping kids who went through wat I went through74: I have/will get a job: currently just studying I have money saved up from my last job73: Tomorrow: IS FRIDAY72: Today: tiring i worked out 71: Next Summer: my dumbass signed up for summer classes 70: Next Weekend: im going out with my childhood friends69: I have these pets: none68: The worst sound in the world: the sound of someone’s gasp for last breathe 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: no one 66: People that make you happy: my mother and two brothers65: Last time I cried: two months ago my father’s death anniversary 64: My friends are: the people who grew up with me from a youngin 63: My computer is: a dell laptop 62: My School: 61: My Car: is good enough to smoke u at a stop light60: I lose all respect for people who: cheat and take advantage of others59: The movie I cried at was: none58: Your hair color is: naturally black but currently red57: TV shows you watch: i dont watch tv shows, I’ve been watching kdrama56: Favorite web site: This fucking website 55: Your dream vacation: Never been to Europe 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: those night cramps on the calves 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare52: My room is: where I spent mos of my time 51: My favorite celebrity is: Nelson Mandela but he’s gone...50: Where would you like to be: peace of mind49: Do you want children: yes48: Ever been in love: yes 47: Who’s your best friend: i have 3 no names 46: More guy friends or girl friends: mix of both45: One thing that makes you feel great is: help others 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my father43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes hopefully go for my masters while working in my field part time42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: bucketlist yes 41: Have you pre-named your children: i have anmes to consider40: Last person I got mad at: my ex 39: I would like to move to: california 38: I wish I was a professional: basketball player [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: skittles 36: Vehicle: dream car Maserati gt 35: President:i dont have one 34: State visited: california, arizona, Minnesota, illinois, north carolina, virginia, texas, colorado, new york33: Cellphone provider: telus32: Athlete: Derrick Rose31: Actor: i dont have one30: Actress: none29: Singer: bruno mars28: Band: linkin park 27: Clothing store: Footlockers26: Grocery store: none25: TV show: south park24: Movie: the godfather23: Website: this fucking website 22: Animal: panda 21: Theme park: Canada’s wonderland20: Holiday: none19: Sport to watch: basketball and hockey18: Sport to play: basketball and volleyball 17: Magazine: none16: Book: Brave new World 15: Day of the week: saturday 14: Beach: none13: Concert attended: J.Cole 12: Thing to cook: jerk chicken 11: Food: sushi 10: Restaurant: buffets 9: Radio station: flow 93.5 8: Yankee candle scent: none 7: Perfume: none 6: Flower: Rose5: Color: Red 4: Talk show host: None 3: Comedian: Russell Peters 2: Dog breed: PUG1: Did you answer all these truthfully? YES
FUCKING FINALLY
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