#beyond that . even if we're technically something like genuine friends or partners . i just . don't get what i need
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okay okay last one I think but GOD can I just fucking attach myself onto someone who like . actually fucking pays attention to me . that'd be a fucking nice thing now wouldn't it .
#➳ valentin vents#like seriously what is it with me ONLY attaching myself onto people who barely even know i exist probably#or who don't even spare me their time#or just . i don't know . others who i just cannot manage to be percieved by in any capacity other than like . an acquaintance . or if we go#beyond that . even if we're technically something like genuine friends or partners . i just . don't get what i need#like this is self sabotage from my brain i need attention and reassurance and love and adoration but without fail my brain goes for either#A. the worst beings in the world B. beings who are fine ig but aren't really super attention give-y like I'd need to be super close to them#or C. barely acknowledge my existence and have like a 50% chance to move on within a week if they were told I died or something#like bitch uu can't pick ANYONE ELSE to rely on happiness for . . . . ok thanks ig idk how uu expect us to function like this but hey#what can i do about it at this point
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