#better yet - they don't /want to/ be contacted. Mika could ask them himself - but they're not answering emails nor letters | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mishkakagehishka · 2 years ago

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And we know Suzu was adopted and we know Mika will meet her (or has met her, looking from EnGirls pov). Do you think he ever feels envy. Or perhaps resentment.

Do you think he's envious of the fact that she got adopted and he didn't. Do you think he ever thinks about the fact that they both have mismatched eyes, which he'd always blamed for his being abandoned, yet she was adopted. What will he blame now? Is there something inherently wrong with him? How come his twin was wanted, and he wasn't? He's spent years blaming one (1) thing about himself for it, but considering she shares that trait, it must be something else that's wrong with him. Do you ever think about Mika desperate to find some sort of logical explanation for the fact that he was abandoned. His own form of "closure". Do you think he said that he never tried to find parents because he projected his abandonment issues and didn't want to "abandon" the kids he was in charge of taking care of, or do you think it was his defence. His way of saying, "It's not that nobody wants me - it's that I don't want to be adopted". His way of protecting his feelings. Anyway-

#i just like thinking of Mika overcome with negative feelings and anger #i like thinking about him desperate and grieving his child self.#i like thinking about him meeting Suzu and realising she was adopted ''despite'' the weird eyes. so obviously that wasn't the reason why he #wasn't adopted. so what is it? go on Mishka. find what it is that's inherently wrong with you. find an explanation for why you were #abandoned because your fragile lil heart just can't handle the idea of ''your parents just didn't want you''. there must be a valid reason #right? ... i esp love the idea of their parents being dead or otherwise they can't contact them #better yet - they don't /want to/ be contacted. Mika could ask them himself - but they're not answering emails nor letters #even now that he's a famous idol - when he could be the perfect son - when he's found them. they still want nothing to do with him #not even to grace him with an answer to the simplest question ''why?'' - not even to lie and say something like ''we couldn't afford to #raise you'' or something like that. or did you guys think i only like physically torturing mika?#ensemble stars #angst #i guess i'll tag it like that #mika kagehira

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