#better than the movies you think are bad' (<- paraphrasing but that was the gist) and. like. yeah? so do you?

[lesbianralzarek]

someday people will learn to spot the difference between someone who likes to feel "better" than everyone else by mentioning what "highbrow tastes" they have in media, vs someone who just has some uncommon tastes and is trying to introduce you to blorbo from their shows. casablanca and shakespear are still around because some people like them, actually

its unfortunate, then, that some styles arent as lucrative as marvels style. the age of everyone being able to see anyone bitching about things best discussed amongst a select few in their in-group (i cant really post about how much i hated such-and-such media, because people who love it might see it and feel bad) has made it more or less impossible to discuss a hatred of the most popular style without hurting anyones feelings. and i do hate it. and its success has changed how people make movies now. and i am mad. but most of all, i wish i could bitch about it without making the people who genuinely like it sad

theyre still making marvel-likes because people like marvel, and they dont make akira-likes because not enough people like akira. please watch akira. its good. you might like it. if you like akira and other cyberpunk shit please talk to me about blorbo from my "old" non-english movie

[zukkacore]

Whitewashing in AtlaLok: the Western & Christian Influence on s2 of LoK

Ok, so i’m not a big brained expert on all things indigenous or even all things asian but I do think bryke's christian & western worldview seeps so far into season 2 of LoK that i think out of every season it’s by far the most unsalvageable out of everything they’ve ever done in the Atlaverse and is a very insidious kind of whitewashing. I know that sounds hefty but here’s what I mean

For the record, I’m a mixed filipino person & while there is religious diversity among filipinos, more than i think ppl realize or that the catholic majority is willing to let on, when we were colonized a large percent of the population was indeed forced to convert to catholicism so that’s my background, & i don’t know everything about taoism or the what the tai chi symbol represents but the way Bryke westernize the concept of Yin and Yang is honestly… kinda bewildering. They get so many details about yin & yang wrong?? & Yes, it’s possible they could’ve been trying to create their own lore that differentiates itself from the traditional depictions of Yin & Yang, but in the end i think it doesn’t matter b/c the lore they invent is a very obviously western interpretation of the concept of “balance”.

The most important and honestly worst change they make is that concepts of “light” and “dark” are completely oversimplified and flattened to represent basically “good” and “evil” (which, the light and dark side are a bit more complex than representing just “peace/order vs. Chaos” like the show might imply but we don’t even have time for that, but is funny how they get the genders wrong. Like. Traditionally, light is usually coded masculine and dark is usually coded feminine, but never mind that, that’s just a tangent). This really simplifies the nuance of the s2 conflict and makes it a lot less interesting, not to mention just—misrepresents a very real religious philosophy?

And for the record, a piece of media going out of its way to do "the show, don’t tell" thing of stating in the text that “oh, light and dark are not the same thing as good vs. evil” without actually displaying that difference through the writing is just lip service, and its poor writing. A lot of pieces of media do this, but i think s2 of LoK is particularly egregious. The point of this philosophy of balance is that you aren’t supposed to moralize about which side is “good” or “bad”, or even really which one is “better” or “worse”. Even if the show states the concepts are not interchangeable, if the media in question continually frames one side (and almost always its “chaos/darkness”) as the “evil” side, then the supposed distinction between “light vs. dark” and “good vs. evil” is made moot. And besides the occasional offhand remark that implies more nuance without actually delivering, Vaatu is basically stock evil incarnate.

This depiction of conflict as “defeating a singular representation of total evil” isn’t solely christian, but it is definitely present in christian beliefs. And I think those kinds of stories can be done well, but in this case, in a world filled entirely of asian, Pacific Islander & inuit poc, to me it feels like a form of subtle whitewashing? B/c you’re taking characters that probably wouldn’t have christian beliefs, and imposing a christian worldview onto them. Not to mention removes what could have been an interesting conflict of any nuance and intrigue… and honestly, sucks, because I do think s2 has the bones of an interesting idea, mostly b/c there are potential themes that could’ve been explored—I know this b/c they were already explored in a movie that exists, and it’s name is Princess Mononoke! It has a lot of the same elements—tension between spirits and humanity, destruction of nature in the face of rapid industrialization, moral ambiguity where there are no easy or fast answers and both sides have sympathetic and understandable points of view. (Unsurprising b/c Miyazaki is Japanese & Japanese culture has a lot of influence from Buddhism, Taoism, Shintoism, etc)

Bryke’s western & christian worldview also totally seeps into the characterization of Unalaq, the antagonist of the season which is a real problem. I’m in the middle of rewatching s2 right now and what struck me is that….. Unalaq comes across kinda ecofash AND fundamentalist which is 1) seems like an odd combination but maybe it really isn’t? 2) i think is a really tacky choice considering that the water tribes take the majority of its inspiration from inuit and polynesian indigenous cultures.

I honestly forgot abt this but Unalaq gives this whole lame speech abt how the SWT & humans as a whole suck b/c of their lack of spiritual connection & it was really eerie to me b/c "humans are morally bankrupt and they must be wiped out/punished for their destruction of the environment" is total ecofash logic bc it blames all of humanity for damage caused by those in power—be they capitalists or whoever. It’s a worldview that blames the poor and powerless for something they have no say in, and has real eugenics undertones bc with every implication of culling, there has to be someone who appoints themself the job of culling—of who is and isn’t worthy of death.

This belief also struck me as......... kinda christian in it's logic as well which is WEIRD b/c once again........ their cultural inspirations are DEFINITELY not christian...... The whole "man is inherently evil and must spend their whole lifetime repenting/must face punishment for it’s wickedness" thing and the way that christianity treats humanity as born with original sin or inherently corrupt—as well as above or separate from nature are really stronger undertones in Unalaqs worldview....... which isn't really an indigenous way or thinking.

I'm generalizing of course but from what I have seen from the indigenous people who speak on this is that (feel free to point out or correct me if i’m mostly generalizing abt Native Americans and not other indigenous cultures & there are some differences here) is that while native tribes are not monolithic and do vary wildly, there are a lot of common threads and that reverence and respect toward nature and your surroundings is an important tenant of indigenous beliefs. (I specifically remember the hosts on All My Relations saying essentially that we humans are a part of nature, we are not separate from it, and humans are not superior to animals—I’m paraphrasing but that is the gist of it)

So, yeah, I think it’s just really distasteful to write an indigenous character who is characterized in a way that’s way more in line with a christian fundamentalist & wants to bring about a ragnarok style apocalypse end of the world when that isn’t really a tenant of our beliefs? (btw, the way the end of the world is framed is also kinda fucked up? If i were being charitable, I could say that maybe s2’s storyline is a corruption of the hindu depiction of the end of the world, but even that sounds mildly insulting for reasons I won’t get into b/c i am Not The Expert On Hinduism. I will say that once again, the framing of the concept is all wrong, the show views the idea of apocalypse through a very western lense)

To wrap this up, I think the depiction of Unalaq could *maybe* work b/c he is the antagonist, so someone who strays from the NWT cultural tradition in a way that makes his view of morality more black and white wouldn’t be a *horrible* idea for the bad guy of the season. Especially because the introduction of capitalism to the A:TLA universe could probably cause a substantial shifts to… idk, everything i guess, b/c capitalism is so corrosive. Like. Sometimes people are just traitors. I do think it would be interesting to portray the way capitalism manifests in a society without white christians. Like… I do think there are a lot of ways secular christianity and capitalism are interlinked. But Unalaq is not portrayed as an outsider, he’s portrayed as hyper-traditionalist in a way that’s vilified? I guess rightly so, he does suck, but it’s just hard to conceptualize how a person like Unalaq comes to exist in the first place. In the end, I don’t really think it makes sense, in a world without white people, I don’t really know where this introduction of black and white christian morality would even come from in the avatar world?

TL;DR, Bryke applying western christian morality & world views to non-white characters in a world where white people have NEVER existed to affect our beliefs is a subtle form of white-washing. It imposes simplified “good vs. evil” world-views & cultural beliefs onto its characters. Any attempt to represent or even just integrate our actual beliefs into the A:tla lore are twisted and misrepresented is a way that is disrespectful and saps out any nuance or intrigue from the story, and alienates the people its supposed to represent from recognizing themselves within the final product. And Finally, on a more superficial story level, these writing choices clashe with the already existing world of ATLA--and is honestly just poor world-building.

[boreothegoldfinch]

chapter 12 paragraph viii

Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight towards a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster? Is Kitsey right? If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or—like Boris—is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name? It’s not about outward appearances but inward significance. A grandeur in the world, but not of the world, a grandeur that the world doesn’t understand. That first glimpse of pure otherness, in whose presence you bloom out and out and out. A self one does not want. A heart one cannot help. Though my engagement isn’t off, not officially anyway, I’ve been given to understand—gracefully, in the lighter-than-air manner of the Barbours—that no one is holding me to anything. Which is perfect. Nothing’s been said and nothing is said. When I’m invited for dinner (as I am, often, when I’m in town) it’s all very pleasant and light, voluble even, intimate and subtle while not at all personal; I’m treated like a family member (almost), welcome to turn up when I want; I’ve been able to coax Mrs. Barbour out of the apartment a bit, we’ve had some pleasant afternoons out, lunch at the Pierre and an auction or two; and Toddy, without being impolitic in the least, has even managed to let casually and almost accidentally drop the name of a very good doctor, with no suggestion whatever that I might possibly need such a thing.

[As for Pippa: though she took the Oz book, she left the necklace, along with a letter I opened so eagerly I literally ripped through the envelope and tore it in half. The gist—once I got on my knees and fit the pieces together— was this: she’d loved seeing me, our time in the city had meant a lot to her, who in the world could have picked such a beautiful necklace for her? it was perfect, more than perfect, only she couldn’t accept it, it was much too much, she was sorry, and—maybe she was speaking out of turn, and if so she hoped I forgave her, but I shouldn’t think she didn’t love me back, because she did, she did. (You do? I thought, bewildered.) Only it was complicated, she wasn’t thinking only of herself but me too, since we’d both been through so many of the same things, she and I, and we were an awful lot alike—too much. And because we’d both been hurt so badly, so early on, in violent and irremediable ways that most people didn’t, and couldn’t, understand, wasn’t it a bit… precarious? A matter of self-preservation? Two rickety and death-driven persons who would need to lean on each other quite so much? not to say she wasn’t doing well at the moment, because she was, but all that could change in a flash with either of us, couldn’t it? the reversal, the sharp downward slide, and wasn’t that the danger? since our flaws and weaknesses were so much the same, and one of us could bring the other down way too quick? and though this was left to float in the air a bit, I realized instantly, and with some considerable astonishment, what she was getting at. (Dumb of me not to have seen it earlier, after all the injuries, the crushed leg, the multiple surgeries; adorable drag in the voice, adorable drag in the step, the arm-hugging and the pallor, the scarves and sweaters and multiple layers of clothes, slow drowsy smile: she herself, the dreamy childhood her, was sublimity and disaster, the morphine lollipop I’d chased for all those years.)

But, as the reader of this will have ascertained (if there ever is a reader) the idea of being Dragged Down holds no terror for me. Not that I care to drag anyone else down with me, but—can’t I change? Can’t I be the strong one? Why not?] [You can have either of those girls you want, said Boris, sitting on the sofa with me in his loft in Antwerp, cracking pistachios between his rear molars as we were watching Kill Bill. No, I can’t. And why can’t you? I’d pick Snowflake myself. But if you want the other, why not? Because she has a boyfriend? So? said Boris. Who lives with her? So? And here’s what I’m thinking too: So? What if I go to London? So? And this is either a completely disastrous question or the most sensible one I’ve ever asked in all my life.] [That little guy, said Boris in the car on the way to Antwerp. You know the painter saw him—he wasn’t painting that bird from his mind, you know? That’s a real little guy, chained up on the wall, there. If I saw him mixed up with dozen other birds all the same kind, I could pick him out, no problem.] And he’s right. So could I. And if I could go back in time I’d clip the chain in a heartbeat and never care a minute that the picture was never painted. To try to make some meaning out of all this seems unbelievably quaint. Maybe I only see a pattern because I’ve been staring too long. But then again, to paraphrase Boris, maybe I see a pattern because it’s there. [Do you ever think about quitting? I asked, during the boring part of It’s a Wonderful Life, the moonlight walk with Donna Reed, when I was in Antwerp watching Boris with spoon and water from an eyedropper, mixing himself what he called a “pop.” Give me a break! My arm hurts! He’d already shown me the bloody skid mark—black at the edges—cutting deep into his bicep. You get shot at Christmas and see if you want to sit around swallowing aspirin! Yeah, but you’re crazy to do it like that. Well—believe it or not—for me not so much a problem. I only do it special occasions. I’ve heard that before. Well, is true! Still a chipper, for now. I’ve known of people chipped three-four years and been ok, long as they kept it down to two-three times a month? That said, Boris added somberly—blue movie light glinting off the teaspoon —I am alcoholic. Damage is done, there. I’m a drunk till I die. If anything kills me—nodding at the Russian Standard bottle on the coffee table—that’ll be it. Say you never shot before? Believe me, I had problems enough the other way. Well, big stigma and fear, I understand. Me—honest, I prefer to sniff most times—clubs, restaurants, out and about, quicker and easier just to duck in men’s room and do a quick bump. This way—always you crave it. On my death bed I will crave it. Better never to pick it up. Although—really very irritating to see some bone head sitting there smoking out of a crack pipe and make some pronouncement about how dirty and unsafe, they would never use a needle, you know? Like they are so much more sensible than you? Why did you start? Why does anyone? My girl left me! Girl at the time. Wanted to be all bad and self-destructive, hah. Got my wish. Jimmy Stewart in his varsity sweater. Silvery moon, quavery voices. Buffalo Gals won’t you come out tonight, come out tonight. So, why not stop then? I said. Why should I? Do I really have to say why? Yeah, but what if I don’t feel like it? If you can stop, why wouldn’t you? Live by the sword, die by the sword, said Boris briskly, hitting the button on his very professional-looking medical tourniquet with his chin as he was pushing up his sleeve.]

And as terrible as this is, I get it. We can’t choose what we want and don’t want and that’s the hard lonely truth. Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us. We can’t escape who we are. (One thing I’ll have to say for my dad: at least he tried to want the sensible thing—my mother, the briefcase, me—before he completely went berserk and ran away from it.) And as much as I’d like to believe there’s a truth beyond illusion, I’ve come to believe that there’s no truth beyond illusion. Because, between ‘reality’ on the one hand, and the point where the mind strikes reality, there’s a middle zone, a rainbow edge where beauty comes into being, where two very different surfaces mingle and blur to provide what life does not: and this is the space where all art exists, and all magic. And—I would argue as well—all love. Or, perhaps more accurately, this middle zone illustrates the fundamental discrepancy of love. Viewed close: a freckled hand against a black coat, an origami frog tipped over on its side. Step away, and the illusion snaps in again: life-more-than-life, never-dying. Pippa herself is the play between those things, both love and not-love, there and not-there. Photographs on the wall, a balled-up sock under the sofa. The moment where I reached to brush a piece of fluff from her hair and she laughed and ducked at my touch. And just as music is the space between notes, just as the stars are beautiful because of the space between them, just as the sun strikes raindrops at a certain angle and throws a prism of color across the sky—so the space where I exist, and want to keep existing, and to be quite frank I hope I die in, is exactly this middle distance: where despair struck pure otherness and created something sublime.

And that’s why I’ve chosen to write these pages as I’ve written them. For only by stepping into the middle zone, the polychrome edge between truth and untruth, is it tolerable to be here and writing this at all. Whatever teaches us to talk to ourselves is important: whatever teaches us to sing ourselves out of despair. But the painting has also taught me that we can speak to each other across time. And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life—whatever else it is—is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch. For if disaster and oblivion have followed this painting down through time—so too has love. Insofar as it is immortal (and it is) I have a small, bright, immutable part in that immortality. It exists; and it keeps on existing. And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them from the fire, and sought them when they were lost, and tried to preserve them and save them while passing them along literally from hand to hand, singing out brilliantly from the wreck of time to the next generation of lovers, and the next.

[magnumdays]

Magnum PI 2x19 “May the Best One Win”review AKA Fangirling over my new favorite episode

Staring off we got the whole Magnum introducing Higgy as his partner...or TC’s fiancee and TC being all “we cool man?” and Magnum saying what us fans were all screaming last week (Magnum: IT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE IF SHE MARRIES ME! I WANT TO BE HER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR DAMMIT!)

Then Higgy is all “If you are done fighting over me...” - I mean, just, yeah, throw that in there just to torment me some more.

We basically transitions right into Magnum suggesting a divorce lawyer for Higgy in case she and TC ever “hit a rough patch” and her being all “I’m marrying TC to make sure WHAT WE HAVE doesn't get FUCKED UP, can’t you see that?” (I’m paraphrasing but that was the gist of it) I just can’t with this. It’s like 2 minutes in and I’m like in shipper heaven.

Anyways, then we have the case! The let’s work both sides and make double the money and just the whole both spouses think the other is cheating but it’s all just a big misunderstanding and goodness, happiness and love wins in the end? It totally works for me. This is the kind of PI cases I WANT. Like not super serious people dying cases and shoot outs! People just being stupid and Magnum and Higgy helping uncover their secrets and then making everything better!

We also get the “May the Best PI win!” which I’ve been waiting for since we got the spoiler bit for this ages ago. 

So we got a side plot with Rick that I really- REALLY - like for once! Want to guess why? BECAUSE IT TIES INTO THE THEME! Like huh? They manged that for the first time since forever? 

Yeah, I’m shocked too. But someone really thought about this or they got really lucky by chance because;

First we got the married couple not communicating and about to lose their chance at a love and a happy future because of it. When all their secrets are out they can finally start to fix things and heal.

Secondly we got the woman whose dad dies and she tries not to care because they didn’t have contact for so long but when Rick goes looking he realizes her dad did care and he lost his chance at love because he didn’t communicate. Now she can hopefully heal from both the sadness of her dad leaving as a kid and being dead and be a little happier.

Then we maybe kind of have Higgy who by deciding to actually listing to what she’s feeling for once and deciding not to get married to TC for the wrong reason/ not wanting to live a lie (making it possible for her to find love and happiness with the right person in the future...)

I don’t know, maybe the Higgy one is reaching a bit but the main theme of we don’t know what we or other people are really feeling or thinking and we act anyway, that’s when we get in trouble pretty much work for everything.

Which is a really freaking great + it’s a good theme! It’s true but no so on the nose as something like ‘don’t lie’ or ‘love fixes everything’.

So yeah. Now back to the Miggy godness.

We got: 

married-not-married arguing

Kumu’s “The way you two bicker you might as well be married.”

I mean! Come on!

Then fun times with Higgy getting all the guys to do her bidding...and also actually paying for gas! I do hope this comes back in season 3 where Magnum realizes his pals actually deserves praise and compensation/ or them being all “we’re not helping unless you pay us like Higgy does”.

This could be a character growth kind of possibility arch, thingie, episode or whatever for next year.

The other arch for Thomas Magnum I really want to see in season 3 is the I’m FINE (but I’m not) one kind of lead to something (something bad). 

I know they’re going for a go-lucky kind of Magnum but fact is Magnum is a solider who spent time in a POW camp, he was betrayed by his ex-fiance, one of best friend got tortured and killed like not super long ago, his ex-fiance came back and shot him then came back again and died in his arms, his partner nearly drowned and he CPR her back to life, he thought he had a future with Abby but she dropped him like a hot potato and most recently he got swapped out of his (fake) wedding last minute, then fake wedding didn’t happen and he though he’d be separated from the love of his life his partner for an unknown amount of time and all he’s been saying is “I’m fine”. 

He’s got some baggage and having him always go I’M FINE isn’t really good or healthy because he isn’t fine. He doesn't have to be fine. Except when he acts like he’s not fine (like after Abby) everyone just tries to make him cheer-up when maybe he kind of needs to talk to someone about the kind of wacky stuff he’s been through. This is both something he and Higgy and even the guys need to work on. Basically it was only Gordon who was like, it’s rough, I’m here for you. I mean Higgy was there for him too, she just said “Staycation” a lot to make it not seem like she was because emotions, scary. 

Still I need like Magnum having nightmares about something and actually being all “I’m not fine” and for someone to go “okay. that’s fine. you don’t have to be okay all the time” (Oh this just screams at me to fanfic:it, but I just can’t start anymore of them without finishing a few. So bad thought, bad, go away.)

So, um where was I before I got sidetracked? Oh, right the general wonderfulness of the episode?

Gordon making Magnum say: I’m kinda useless without Higgins.

Then having Magnum take hacking lessons from like a 12 year old on Youtube and begging Kumu lie about having seen Higgins computer (how has he not gotten his own laptop yet???) 

I mean it’s almost not funny anymore (It is. It’s legit the most I’ve smiled in a while.)

“Maybe I’ll let the wife decide“ when buying pie and then bringing said pie back to Higgins. 

“There’s a hug and then there is a hug.”

(I needed this to be foreshadowing and IT WAS NOT! I still can’t hate it because she kind of agree there are different hugs and now I want all the hugs for them...or you know just one! ONE HUG!)

And winner of this round of random things I loved, might be: “You figure out I’d make a better fake husband than TC?”

Can you be more obvious Magnum?

Then Higgins saying “I do still need a maid of honor!” (which we know isn’t true because last week she said she’d asked Kumu but we’re assuming she’s saying it just to tease him). But this made me think of that move Made of Honor movie with Patrick Dempsey where the guy she asks to be her maid of honor is actually the guy she ends up really marrying... at some later point.

Also has anyone sounded more British than Higgy going; “Oh no not the pie.“ after Magnum was all; “I’m taking my pie with me!” 

Then we got my babies being sneaky and adorable and working together (because you know, even when they’re not on the same team, they are).

Then we got them kicking ass together (well more like getting their asses kicked) and only Higgy getting the gun saves them. But you know, that’s okay because I love it when she gets to be a bad-ass and knock people out. 

I do feel like we need to work a little more on the realism on how bruises work on pale people, especially girls. Because you know, Higgy got slammed into like a table and slapped and seriously has anyone been slammed into a table by a really big guy lately? Well, and let me tell you from experience, even being slammed into a table by a small guy leave a bruise. And no way would she not get a swollen eye or lip from a slap that spun her around and landed her on the floor. Do you know how hard you need to slap someone for that? I mean she’s tiny (she’s what 5′4? 1115 pounds soaking wet?) and the guy was big but, still in real life she wouldn’t even be getting up, she’d be out cold, but it’s TV-land so I’ll forgive it but still, wouldn’t a tiny bit of blood on her lip make sense?

It’s kind of strange because sometimes they seem to really like putting the blood and gooe make-up on both Perdita and Jay and other times it’s like, nope, nothing, we’re invincible vampires this episode.

For today I understand the why of it though. They wanted our babies to look pretty for the wedding. Well, the wedding that doesn't happen which we all knew but still... 

Before that though; TC planing on crying at his fake wedding? Adorable.

First of all how does she mange to look both stunning and terrified this whole scene? 

Look at her big eyes with the I’m about to cry shininess. Also the flower bits in her hair totally not her yet somehow totally works. 

I also love how when he first enters he stops and looks at her for a second, like Higgy in a wedding dress. I think I might have some feels. And come on Thomas, couldn’t you have told her she looks nice? You can clearly see she’s freaking. But no you go straight for the “fake nerves?” which I guess makes sense because maybe someone told you there was only 2.5 minutes left of the episode so there was no time for compliments...

Anyways, then comes the heartbreaking bit. Because she has changed her mind and isn’t going to marry TC (or him). She’s not going to marry anyone and she’ll have to leave him.

Leading us to the “Just fine.” moment I equally hate and love. 

Don’t they both kind of look like they’re about to cry here? I feel like that’s the general vibe, or maybe it was the fact that I was tearing up a bit when I first watched it that makes me feel like that...

And as always tumblr stole the stuff I wrote here! I wish I’d learn and could go one week without losing like a chunk of text.

So I was just basically saying I loved this but I’d much rather have had Magnum go “No, I won’t” (when she says he’ll be fine) and then have her be “yes you will” and then he could just be Shrug or go “I guess I’ll have to be” or something else dramatic to show it’s a big deal to him. Then next week we could have him be really trying hard to reach Robin instead of having it all just be fixed with one little phone call. Like maybe Robin is undercover for his new book so Magnum has to make some sort of deal with some shady person who works for Robin to get his undercover contact. Or something and that could come back in season 3 as an episode...

Wow, this got kind of long, but yeah, I just loved this episode and wanted to gush about it and probably I won’t gush (or even complain) as much about 2x20 so it’ll even out in length...

[maxgrayarchived]

The Walking Dead & Queer Representation

How many horror movies and tv shows can you name with queer protagonists? The Walking Dead has been on air for ten years now, and given its genre, it has a surprising amount of queer characters. The numbers themselves are nice, but when writing any minority, it’s important to have tact. 

    As an avid fan of The Walking Dead and a member of the queer community, I’ve taken it upon myself to break down how the show chooses to represent queer characters and what they’re doing right and wrong.

    First, a few disclaimers: 

    This post contains spoilers for seasons 1-9, including major character deaths. I won’t go over anything that happens past season 9. 

    Queer people are going to die. This is a zombie show. People die in every episode. It would be pandering for all the queer characters to stay alive throughout the entire show. 

    I am a pansexual transboy. The characters I’m talking about are assumed to be gay, cisgender boys and girls. Notice that my experience differs from theirs and if I say something that counteracts something a lesbian or a gay man says about the characters representing their identity, you should listen to them and not me.

    I like the word queer. I think it’s a great word and I’ll be using it a lot. Since almost nobody’s sexuality in confirmed in this show I use it a lot to avoid pan/bi/ace erasure. If you don’t like that word, be prepared for it now or accept that this post is not for you.

    Finally, this does NOT include things from Fear the Walking Dead. Fear the Walking Dead is… such a different show in so many ways, especially in LGBT+ representation, and that’s going to require a whole ass different post (how did they fuck up that show so bad). 

    Let’s get down to it! 

    Introductions & Coming Outs 

    Tara: 

    We meet Tara when the Governor wanders into her and her sister’s apartment building after seeing her niece, Meghan, in the window. She immediately puts herself between her family and a potential threat with a gun in her hand. She doesn’t take any of the Governor’s shit, and her first priority is making sure he knows that if he does anything to hurt her family, he’ll pay for it. Once that’s all out of the way, though, she lets a friendlier side of her show and jokes around with him. 

    Our first introduction to queer characters in the show is done well. There’s nothing about her that would ‘tip off’ to the fact that she’s a lesbian, and she’s her own, fleshed out character. 

    We find out she’s a lesbian after she and her family leaves with the Govorner. They’re walking down a street with trees lining each side, and she starts to complain about it reminding her of an ex-girlfriend and a date they went on. This is dropped so casually that I didn’t even notice it in the first watch. 

    It’s later confirmed she’s a lesbian (instead of pan/bi/etc) when Eugene hits on her and she says, “Yeah, I like girls.”

    She comes out (the first time) in such a casual way that I’m hesitant to even call it a coming out. If the Governor wasn’t there, and if we weren’t watching, it would just be a girl complaining to her sister about an ex.

    Alisha: 

    This is my only time mentioning Alisha because that’s how minor of a character she is. 

    We meet her when Tara’s sister, Lily, is stitching up her palm after Alisha “got cute with her knife” and cut herself. Tara is watching from a bit away, and starts flirting with her by talking about weapons. Alisha asks if she’s always this full of shit, and Tara says, “Yes, I am.” It’s a really cute moment. It’s not overtly sexual, it’s not predatory, it’s not weird, it’s just two girls flirting with each other. 

    This is a great way to casually slide in a gay relationship. It’s not made to be a big deal, it’s just another relationship in the story. Before they mentioned that Tara was gay, now they’re acting on that, instead of pussying out like other shows do.

    Aaron & Eric: 

    I’m putting these two in one category because, when we met them, they were together. 

    Our first impression of Aaron is when he comes up to Maggie and Sasha, unarmed, when they’re alone. He puts his hands in the air and asks to speak to Rick, saying that he’s a friend and he has good news. When Maggie and Sasha bring him back to the barn they’re holed down in, he tells them about his community, Alexandria, and welcomes them all to come home with him. He gives us no reason to distrust him (despite the very obvious ‘this is a stranger and generally strangers either try to rob, eat, or kill us’) and is, all and all, patient and understanding of the group’s distrust.

    We meet Eric approximately twenty five seconds before one of the cutest kisses in the show. He sees the panic on Aaron’s face and quickly tries to calm him down, explain his injury and that it’s not a big deal, and that Maggie fixed him up, and he likes her, and- And then Aaron, in a fit of overwhelming concern and relief, rushes up to him and interrupts him with a kiss. 

    One of the cutest kisses in the show. 

    Eric then teases Aaron for being worried about him, we get some domestic goodness when Eric gives Aaron a license plate for his collection, we’re rewarded with this face:

    and, all in all, it’s a good scene. It’s cute, it’s realistic, we can see how much these two care about each other, and Rick’s reaction will make me laugh until I die. 

    Denise: 

    When we first meet Denise, she is a scared, overwhelmed new doctor. She does her best to lower the bar and expresses concern that she isn’t actually capable of being the doctor of Alexandria. 

    At one point, Denise almost has a breakdown from stress and tells Tara that her patient’s condition is too fatal, and Denise isn’t capable of saving him. Tara tells her that being afraid if just something she’s going to have to get over. A little while later, after Denise manages to stabilize her patient’s condition and save his life, she goes over to Tara and kisses her. That’s how we learn she likes girls. Her and Tara continue a romantic relationship after that, and it’s all really cute and sweet.

    Jesus: 

    For those of you who don’t watch the show, quick disclaimer… “Jesus” is the nickname of the character Paul Rovia. We are not talking about Jesus Christ. Just to be clear. 

    Our first impression of Jesus is… Kind of fucking awesome. So far our queer characters have been, by and large, absolute dorks. When we first meet Jesus, he scams Rick and Daryl, snags their keys without them noticing, and steals their truck full of food and supplies. After then he puts up one hell of a fight during his and the duo’s back and forth (unfortunately, none of them are badass enough to save that big truck from sinking to the bottom of the lake. Good job, guys). He even saves Daryl’s life during that very same battle. Jesus continues to do badass things during his introduction, but you probably get the gist.

    Jesus’s coming out is so far my favourite in the show. In the season after he’s introduced, he’s having a talk with Maggie, admitting that he’s never really fit in with anyone. He thanks her for making Hilltop feel more like a home. He says, “I’ve always found it hard getting close to anyone- Neighbors, friends… Boyfriends.” Unlike Aaron and Eric, it’s a very casual coming out, mentioned only to someone he’s come to really trust and admire.

    I think the way Jesus expresses his sexuality is a very important distinction from the way Aaron and Eric express theirs. Aaron is glad to mention it any time it’s relevant- For example he has a talk with Daryl when they’re alone about being outsiders, telling Daryl (who’s having trouble acclimating to his time in Alexandria) that it does get better. He references his romantic relationship with Eric and how, paraphrasing, some otherwise really lovely boys and girls will say the most hilariously offensive things. Jesus’s sexuality is a much more personal thing to him. 

    Both of these characters are valid, and there is nothing wrong with the way either of them choose to express their love. There needs to be more pieces of media that have queer characters that differ in this way. 

    Magna & Yumiko: 

    Magna and Yumiko are introduced towards the end of the ninth season, so I don’t know very much about them. They’re part of a small group of survivors who are looking for a settlement that’ll take them in. Magna is very distrusting, especially of Michonne. She’s impulsive, and paranoid. Yumiko, as a foil, is calmer and more rational. She’s defensive about Magna (and the rest of her group) and protective. They have the potential to make a really good team- They balance each other out well. 

   We learn that they’re together when they agree to split up so Magna can help the main group with the current crisis, and Magna kisses Yumiko goodbye. There were times before it was confirmed that they hinted at their relationship, for instance when one of them had their head in the other’s lap in the background of a shot and were talking quietly. When talking to Michonne, Yumiko tells a story about Magna with a fond smile.

   I think, so far, they’re in the clear. 

   Personality Diversity 

   It seems obvious, but it’s important to make each character different. A lot of cishet people (and even some queer people) when writing queer characters for the first time seem to get fixated on whatever they think are ‘queer qualities.’ Every queer character they write ends up being the same one. Let’s go over the ways each queer character on The Walking Dead are their own, and can’t be lumped into the same. 

   Levels of capability: 

   Denise was an objectively weak character. She had been hidden behind the walls of Alexandria the entire apocalypse, had never killed a walker, and didn’t even know how to fight. But she died trying to be better. She asked for Daryl and Rosita’s help, people much more capable and experienced than her, and she risked her life for the good of the community.

   The other queer characters are all very capable of taking care of themselves, to various extents. Tara started in a bit of a rough spot. She was better off than Denise, though, in that she knew how to shoot a gun and, being out with the Governor, she quickly grew first hand experience. Eric didn’t have as much experience, but, like Denise, he was ready to step up when they needed him. I would put Aaron on the same combat level as Tara. I mentioned Jesus’s badassery- He’s on par with Rick, Daryl, and Michonne in my opinion. As for Magna and Yumiko, they specialize in teamwork. 

   Strong suits: 

   The show also, in my opinion, did a good job at not making them the Token Gay Characters because they each have their own strong suits. Tara is extremely determined and good at giving tough love when someone else is willing to give up. Jesus is clever and savvy (firecrackers in a trashcan?). Denise was a fucking doctor (pretty much). We don’t know much about Yumiko and Magna, but I’m sure they’ll have their own strengths as well. Each character has a specialty that’ll come in handy in different situations.

  Nuance: 

  I mentioned before that a lot of our queer characters have been pretty dorky. In my opinion, they’ve done a good job at leveling that out with Jesus, Magna, and Yumiko.

  I’d also just like to take a minute to mention Tara’s fashion. I feel like they HAVE to have a lesbian on costumes, because the way Tara dresses is just a detail that you’d only think of if you’re involved in the queer community.

  Look at all those fucking flannels. 

  Deaths

  With any character, killing them is a big decision and should not be taken lightly. Sure, there are some deaths that seem relatively minor (Carter’s death when the hoard from the quarry split into two, for example), and there are deaths that are HUGE (Glenn), but each and every one served a purpose. Killing characters off for shock value or for blood or just to keep things exciting are all signs of a bad or inexperienced writer. 

  It’s also important to remember what this post is about- How they’ve been representing queer characters. Death is a HUGE part of that, it could make or break their entire score. Death is a sensitive subject in the queer community due to the countless hate crimes that resulted in the deaths of queer people that went unresolved and unacknowledged. In most genres, killing queer people off at all is seen as a no-no (we’re murdered enough in real life). But, as I mentioned earlier, in a show set in the zombie apocalypse, people are going to die, and that includes queer people. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have tact.

  Denise: 

  Denise’s death is the easiest to see why it’s necessary. Let’s break it down. 

  Denise died the exact same death that Abraham did in the comic books. Why is this important? Because that gave Abraham the opportunity to be there when Negan was introduced, which is when he actually died, which Sasha saw, which pinned all of Sasha’s (and Rosita’s) anger on Negan. That led to a HUGE plot point, and Sasha’s own eventual death and the almost-victory of Rick Grimes and the almost-death of Negan! And even though all didn’t go fully to plan, it still created the distraction that was needed to begin the war, which drastically changed the course of the series. That’s why Denise died. So that Sasha could distract Negan and give Rick and his group the upper hand in the war. 

  I was SO sad when Denise died, but from a writer’s standpoint, it’s a death I can appreciate.

  Eric: 

  I’m not saying Eric’s death was pointless, because it didn’t feel pointless, but I can’t exactly pinpoint the reason. However, we don’t always get to know that right away or have it be obvious. I’m inclined to do a pass on this one.

  Now, onto the death itself. It was… So goddamn sad. In a fight for freedom from the Saviors, Eric was shot. Aaron immediately gets him out of the battle and brings him to a quiet place. Eric convinces him to keep fighting, because he knows that they need Aaron, saying “I can die here just fine on my own.” They say they love each other, and they kiss, and Aaron runs back to the fight. When Aaron gets back, Eric has turned and is wandering off in the distance. Another Alexandrian keeps Aaron from running after him, and comforts him.

  And, I’m adding this because I think it’s important, when Aaron gets back to Rick and the group, Rick is holding a little baby named Gracie (let’s not get into how he found this baby). He needs someone to take her back to the Kingdom, so she’ll be safe… And Aaron takes her. He says, please, I have to, let me take her. Aaron adopts a little baby girl.

  I personally think the death was done very well. Queerness aside, it was STRONG. It was so emotionally powerful. Aaron’s friend being there to help him and keep him from doing something stupid, him putting his mourning into doing something good (taking care of Gracie), and ESPECIALLY Eric himself telling Aaron to go, that there are more important things to be done. Emotionally speaking, it might be my favorite death in the series. It hurts, but I think it was done so well.

 Jesus: 

 Jesus’s death was fucking stupid.

 Like, I know, blahblahblah, it was important to the plot, we need to be mad at the Whisperers, we needed a reason to fight, blah fucking blah I’m still not over it. I fucking hate Jesus’s death. I WASN’T expecting it, and I’m fucking annoyed.

 The biggest reason I’m annoyed is because I was waiting for them to reveal Aaron and Jesus’s relationship. I’ll talk more about why that bothered me later, but the reason Jesus’s death was awful, was because it’s inextricable from this fatal flaw.

 Tara: 

 I’m writing this after seeing Tara’s death for the first time pretty recently. I’ve only seen it once, and the problems I have with the death aren’t the death itself at all. In fact, I think, queer-wise, it was done pretty well. I mean, it happened with a whole bunch of straighties, you know? It’s not like they put a bunch of queer kids’ heads on pikes, she was the only queer one. So I hesitantly say it was alright.

 Eric, Jesus, & Tara: 

 This is an important part that bothers me a bit. I’m not sure how serious it is, because I very well could just be being sensitive, but… Jesus’s death happened VERY suddenly, and then right after that we lost Tara. And Eric’s death hadn’t happened too long before, either. Especially when, in comparison to the straighties, we have such a small cast of queer characters, to lose so many of them so fast… It was kind of exhausting. I’d love to hear other queer fans’ thoughts about this and if you think I’m being overdramatic, or if you feel similarly.

 What Did They Do Wrong? 

 Before closing out the post, let’s sum everything up and give some final thoughts. 

 Jesus’s death and his relationship with Aaron: 

 I was absolutely devastated when Jesus died, and not in the good way. I accidentally read a “spoiler” that said Aaron was Jesus’s boyfriend, so I was waiting for that to be revealed. Every time Aaron and Jesus were in danger, I wasn’t scared at all, because I thought they can’t die without revealing that first.

 And, I mean, after that six year gap SO many straighties were revealing their relationships. Not a single gay relationship? Not a single fucking one? I was waiting for Jesus and Aaron to reveal their relationship and instead, one of them died. 

 And it wasn’t just the spoiler that did this. My sister didn’t know this spoiler, and she thought they were going to get together, too. But it wasn’t just “oh there are two gay guys in the same room they HAVE to get together.” We’ve both seen scenes with the two of them together in previous seasons, and neither of us had ever thought they were going to get together. After that six year gap, Aaron and Jesus had chemistry. It seemed like they purposefully set them up just to kill one of them.

 No trans characters: 

 It’s been ten fucking years PLEASE give me a trans character. Or, and I know, this is crazy, but maybe a couple. Unless of course the zombies have a particular taste for transies and we were all killed off at the start. 

 I would KILL for a transguy character who can’t bind and doesn’t pass, but all the good characters are calling him by the correct pronouns anyway and it’s not a big deal. 

 Please. Add some trans characters. 

 Missed opportunities: 

 My best way of explaining this is calling back to a minor character, a man who got bit after the hoard from the quarry split in half. He’s talking about his wife, how he wants to get back to her and say goodbye. He could have easily been talking about his husband. 

 Some people might disagree, saying that since he’s bit and he’s going to die, that this would be a really bad idea, but… I don’t think so. There’s enough major queer characters in the show to balance this out, and, I mean, come on, it’s a show about zombies. People die every episode. This gay man just happened to be one of them. We don’t even meet his wife! It would be so easy. 

 I think it’s a weakness that their only queer characters are major characters, because background characters are part of what reminds you that there’s a whole world out there. It’s part of the immersion. If we never meet any queer background characters, it makes the major characters outliers. I realize this is nitpicking, but it’s been ten fucking years. I’m not going to take the time to tally up every single character, major and minor, in The Walking Dead and label them as assumed straight or confirmed queer, but we can all guess what that list would look like. 

 What Did They Do Right? 

 They made sure to always have at least one queer character: 

 We’re missing our queer characters in the first two seasons, but once we have Tara, we have at least one queer character to look up to in every single season. Some cishet people might think this is pandering, but it’s a very important part (NOT the entirety) of avoiding the Bury Your Gays trope.

 Every time they killed a queer character, there was a reason: 

 They’re not just slicing and dicing. 

 Personality differences: 

 They’re all their very own character, and there’s not any “queer traits.”

Coming outs: 

They were all in character and done realistically.

They didn’t queer-bait or introduce a gay character just to kill them:

Every queer character so far has had a decent shelf life. For major characters, let’s keep it that way.

xxx

Talk to me about this! I want to know what you agree with me on, what you don’t, whether you’re fans of The Walking Dead or not. 

Question/s of the month: 

My first question is for people of colour, both those of you who are fans of The Walking Dead and who aren’t: How do you feel about how the Walking Dead chooses to represent people of colour? Go crazy, ramble as long as you want, I really want to know! 

My second question is a request: Please recommend me movies and tv shows in the horror genre specifically that have queer characters! Whether it’s done well or not, I want to see them all (I’ve already seen It: Chapter 2 and I love American Horror Story). 

Let me know what you think about this series, please! I want to do one on the horror genre as a whole and The Good Place, so if this is well received, I’ll get started on that!

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[workrockin]

Understanding MIMO

I don't know about you but sometimes technology makes me feel stupid. Usually you'll find me in a cheerful mood happily trotting along somewhere in a grass field, but every once in a while, a heavy feeling takes hold and it makes me sit and reflect upon the choices that I have made, leading me up to the present point in my life. Anyone who knows me can testify that I'm not the one to waste a bright sunny day in useless contemplation. You can imagine then the force of this indescribable feeling that took a free spirited creature like myself, who would rather spend its time chasing the wind, to chain itself and think. Imagine that. Sit and think on a bright sunny day! But one must make best of ones circumstances.

The other day I was reading about MIMO. Just scrolling through a Wikipedia article. I can't say how I got on to it. I don't remember what prompted me to open the page. All I remember is that it was there. It was interesting read. Multi this. Many that. etc etc.

I'm not all that much into reading, as you probably would have guessed. It does not fit my character, you see. I'm someone who prefers activity, due to my natural outgoing, adventurous nature. I've learnt though my own experience and through the experience of my ancestors that its of no use fighting your own nature. It is a battle that you can't win.

As you can understand therefore, I rarely read. Unless it is to pass time at work. Even then I prefer to study the habits and inclinations of cats on various online encyclopedias. Especially preferring vivid portraits on imagur and short documentaries on youtube that aid in understanding to big walls of text.

But something drew me to that particular subject that day. I don't know what it was. I'm not a painter who can describe his feelings through his art. Nor am I a poet who can write a song about it. I'm unable to find the reason behind my decision to read about that particular subject of which I had no particular knowledge. Maybe it was fate. Maybe something else. All that matters now is that I read about MIMO. And today a similar feeling compels me to talk about it.

MheeeeeeMhawwwww

MIMO stands for Multipe Input and Multiple output. MIMO is applied to make a radio link more robust by increasing the number of transmitting and receiving antennas. The goal of MIMO is to increase the network robustness and capacity. MIMO takes several forms

In one kind of MIMO Multiple can antennas transmit among different paths. Multiple receivers can accept those signals. Each one on a different path. This is the basis of Beamforming. Not all of the receivers will receive the best signal so we must design a way for the receiver to determine the best signal. This is done with the help of precoding. For the purpose of this discussion we don't need to understand precoding.

In another type of MIMO instead of sending multiple signals you simply send one signal but split it into multiple streams. Each one of those streams are transmitted over a different antenna. To the receiver it looks like each one of these signals have arrived at a different channel and thus network capacity is increased....... At least in theory.

Finally there is Diveristy Coding. Diversity coding is best understood as spray and pray technique. In this type of MIMO a single stream is transmitted many times by multiple antennas hoping that at least one of them will arrive at their destination unharmed. Desperation is palpable in this one.

MU-MIMO is MIMO with multi user capabilities. In other words you can MIMO with several users at once.

Reading this post left me with several questions. After collecting my thoughts I shared them with one of my smarter friends to understand what he had to say about the subject. My mom used to tell me that it is always good to take advice from someone who is brainier and more knowledgeable than you are. Although you must trust in your own ability its never a bad idea to seek some guidance. Those who know me can tell you that I have always been an obedient child. It should come as no surprise then that I'd listen to her advice.

I took my queries to my friend and this is what he had to say. I paraphrase because I forgot to carry my notepad with me to jot down his wise words.

THUS HE BEGAN

Before we can understand MIMO we must understand wireless networks. A wireless network is a physical network with no wires. When a wireless communication channel is established between two devices it is equivalent to connecting the two devices with a physical wire.

Of course the appeal of wireless networks is that you don't have to invest in huge infrastructural projects to increase the connectivity in a region.

The downside is that since wireless signals can't be directed as well as wired signals there is a lot of signal loss. That leads to a degraded quality of service. Which leads to unsatisfied customers.

Therefore effort has to be spent to get wireless signal as close to the quality of wired signal as possible. If one has the inclination to study it can take an entire lifetime to understand the clever techniques invented to make this possible. Life is short. What we need know is a gist of the matter. Here it is:-

We want to efficiently utilize the communication channel. We do this by multiplexing. 

We want to make the networks more robust. We do this by adding redundant network stations.

MIMO is one such technique invented. However MIMO has several shortcomings.

It requires a dedicated hardware in base station and client machine. Existing machines will not work. 

It requires complex receiver hardware to assemble the signals.

It does not guarantee a better QOS or signal to noise ratio. MIMO in essence is simply a way of increasing the chance of getting a good quality signal by adopting a brute force approach.

The goal of MIMO is to increase total network throughput ( Individual speeds will not be increased, however more user will have access to a uniform speed ) . Bu then why do we need MIMO at all? There are alternatives where these goals can be achieved cheaply.

Most of the MIMO technology can be easily replicated using cheap inter-operable components available in the market right now. Especially in the home networking context.

In fact the principle behind MIMO is best realized when you set up cheap multiple access points rather than highly optimized individual devices. Quantity is greater than quality in network coverage. All the time.

Consider Beamforming. By definition beamforming is the technique of emitting same signals from different antennas in a way that they all add up to for the best signal at the receiver.

But this can be easily replicated by having multiple base stations each of them emitting a signal. All client device has to do is choose the best one?

"But its costly to set up multiple base stations you say?"

I ask different questions.

What is the cost of having multiple antennas on a single station and a receiver? Exactly how is a single station with multiple antennas cheaper from multiple stations with single antenna? What happens when the receiver is in motion?

In the last case we discover that beamforming actually reduces to the same old radio signals that we're used to. And we have spent all this money on equipment that only works when the client and the base station positions are well defined? Static, in other words. Really? Why not go with a Point to Point connection then? Nothing can beat that in terms of quality.

There is one very big advantage of multiple stations. It is redundancy. No single point of failure. That is something that is well worth the investment.

Next consider spatial multiplexing. Here you divide a single data channel into multiple channel streams to trick the receiver into believing that its getting data from multiple channels at a higher speed. It does increase the network capacity. But how many client devices can actually use this technology?

Let us assume that we actually get the client devices to work with this technology. What then? How should the application layer adapt to this change? How should we design our you tube app for example, when the last 30 min of a 90 min movie have arrived successfully but the stream transmitting the first 60 min is lost?

Whatever you gain on base station efficiency you loose at the client reception. As a user I feel no better or even worse as compared to old network.

Data integrity is just as valuable as data speed. I can understand a congested network giving me slower speeds. But I can't tolerate a fast network giving me data out of place. It may work slowly but it should always be right.

A well designed redundant network will always outperform an "intelligent" auto adjusting technology. Interference exists and we have means to work around it.

Like any breakthrough in communication technology to fully gain the advantages of MIMO we need compatible client as well as server station hardware. This means that we need to invest in new infrastructure. Do the gains provided by MIMO justify the investment? I'll leave that to you to decide.

With these parting notes my friend signed off. Having nothing further to add to the discussion I must take my leave as well. I hope that my ramblings have been of use to a few people who like me often find themselves at a loss in the ever changing, ever expanding , progressive world of communication technology. I'm lucky to have a friend who has a certain interest in these things. Though I can't for the life of me understand how any one can be bothered to read about electronics and radios when you can study cats instead. But no one can fight their nature, I suppose.

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[joshuazev]

On ramblins:

Today was one of those days that I felt so lucky to be a part of the acting class that I go to every Sunday, taught by Karl Bury.  Sometimes I come away thinking that I learn as much if not more from the days that I sit back as an audience member and watch him teach others than when I’m on stage working a scene and he’s giving me feedback and directing me.  Like my father with respect to history and all of the goings on in the world, Karl has an encyclopedic knowledge of acting, quoting what feels like every acting book under the sun and all of the best quotes from the most well known acting teachers like Stella Adler, Strasberg, Meisner, including his mentor, Larry Moss.  It would only seem fortune cookie if he wasn’t a living and breathing example, as we all are, that when you use the points and advice he’s distributing and disseminating to all of us…that it actually works.  For the longest time I’ve been committing the egregious sin of not writing down everything he says.  There was a point where I was a copious note taker—never necessarily a good one, but I’d basically write down everything verbatim if I thought it was important instead of paraphrasing and getting to the gist.  I try not to dwell on all of the great things he’s said that have faded from memory—and believe me, there there are tons.  I just bought a composition notebook recently with the hope that I can keep some of the stuff that resonates the most with me for posterity.  Today he echoed something that has been told to me by other acting teachers in the past, but something about the way he says it and repeats it made it home a bit more.  He was quoting this Canadian actor, William Hutt, who headed a show called “Slings and Arrows” and the two quotes that boomed like a gong were, “Don’t move unless it improves on stillness” and “Don’t speak unless it improves on silence.”  Both of them have surged to the forefront of my mind since leaving his class in the late afternoon, maybe more so for the second one.  How often do we say unnecessary crap that might be better left unsaid.  How often do we meander without having any idea where we need or want to be going?  I don’t want to review everything he said.  I got my notebook for that to look over later, but he was dropping jewels today—as he always does.

One of the newer guys was talking about an interaction he had with Denzel Washington at an industry night for the premiere of Denzel’s new film, “Roman Israel.”  When he told me that he asked Denzel a super specific question about football in Mt. Vernon, which is where Denzel was born, Denzel gave him the type of response that made it seem like the man had asked him a stupid question.  Somewhere in the story of Denzel’s reaction I harkened to San Antonio Spurs coach Greg Popovic, who has earned somewhat of a bad reputation for giving very blank and irritable responses to sideline reporters when they are interviewing him during TV timeouts.  There is literally no good question, nothing creative enough that is up to Pop’s standards.  It got to the point where even good questions were made to look stupid because Pop would dryly respond with this unbelievable combination of disgust, cynicism and comedy.  Only Craig Sager was able to ask questions that would get Pop to percolate.  I don’t think Denzel is Pop nor is Pop Denzel, but it kind of feels like there isn’t a good question to ask either of them.  Or maybe not in those particular settings.  When you hear them speak about other topics or give keynote addresses as Denzel has done in the past, they are eloquent and exquisite voices to listen to.  Outside of those mediums they have a tendency to come off very moody.  They’ve been around the block for some time now, but it surely doesn’t give much hope to the young actor and actress or hopeful coach to ask them questions without feeling like they are going to get a stink eye in return.  

All that talk about Denzel made me think of how despite his two Academy Awards and high standing in the eyes of movie fans alike, he is still one of the more under-appreciated actors of all time.  I thought of last year when he lost the best actor award to Casey Affleck, who at the time I thought had given a great performance in “Manchester by the Sea.”  However, like most people who have their eyes glued to the tabloids and the media, I was very taken aback at the lack of an equal response to Affleck’s sexual assault situation as opposed to the damn-near boycott of Nate Parker’s “Birth of a Nation.”  Both were accused of sexual assault, but it seemed like only one of them was punished for it.  Parker’s movie was great, but people stayed away from it because it was a guilty by association type of scenario.  People still saw Affleck’s movie.  Affleck still got the award.  In these instances I’m both a sucker to the politics and unbelievably opposed to them.  And aside from them I was thinking about Denzel’s performance in “Fences,” which was nothing short of incredible.  I remember seeing clips of him when he was doing the play on Broadway and I thought it was a little over the top and maybe more suited to a movie.  Or maybe I just didn’t think it was as good as James Earl Jones’ performance (which you can also find on YouTube).  The weird thing was when I saw his performance in the movie I thought he did it with such focus and detail and subtlety that I was confused.  It actually more toned down.  I thought his movie performance could have been used on stage.  Regardless, it was phenomenal.  

This, of course, was all part of one of the most embarrassing moments in the history of the Academy Awards and Hollywood in general, for that matter.  I’m referring to the shitshow of a presentation for “Best Picture,” in which “Moonlight”, the actual winner, somehow played second fiddle to “La La Land” when Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway screwed up the announcement.  In their defense, it wasn’t exactly their fault.  It ended up being a shoulda, woulda, coulda situation they weren’t able to repair.  It just seemed so Hollywood for so many reasons.  Race was probably the biggest topic of last year’s Oscars, which was astounding because I think the year before there was the hashtag #OscarsSoWhite when no actors of color were nominated for any acting awards.  Again, I don’t think last year was a political situation in which the black movie, “Moonlight” needed to win over “La La Land” (the white movie), in order for everything to be OK (I think Moonlight was just a better movie), but I do think that because of how everything unfolded that threw a horrible veil over what should have been a time of genuine celebration.  Instead of Moonlight being remembered as the best picture of the year, it was remembered as a footnote.  Not the way you want to be honored.  So, I think my plan in the next few weeks is to write the Academy a letter imploring them to take a moment, but preferably a segment of the program to recognize Moonlight as it should be recognized.  They deserve their just due.  Not to mention it would be a bright spot in what will surely be a bad Oscars because of the down year for movies.  That last statement is completely besides the point, but to this day I’m bothered by the way everything went down.  Somehow it felt like “La La Land” in all its forms had still won.

Which brings me the current state of movies.  Where is it?  Have you seen it?  Have you seen it have you seen it have you seen it?  Shout out to Spike Lee THREE TIMES!  I read an article a while back about how better movies are made during times of turmoil and aren’t we collectively in times of severe turmoil?  The artistry has not blossomed whatsoever this year and for some obvious reasons.  Hollywood is in flames right now.  It’s scarred in a bad way and trying its best to recover under the recent situation involving Harvey Weinstein, other big name producers, and the horrible shadow that sexual assault has cast over everyone under the industry sunshine.  Instead of light during times of suffering there is a suffering to the suffering.  When one of the big pillars of Hollywood is stuck down by its own doing, other pillars have cracked in the process.  What will come in the coming months and in the coming years?  Do we have more Star Wars to look forward to?  Will the culture of the industry change?  Will the politics of the acting world experience the makeover and reversal that it has needed for years and years?  I mean shit, I can tell you right now that out of all the people named to be sexual assaulters, Dustin Hoffman is the one that fucked me up the most.  The first hand accounts from the victims and the information that is coming to light, the evidence as seen through the eyes of all of the victims friends who remember being told of these events unfolding.  It’s awful purely awful.  And man, I’m usually one of the first people to try and go to the actor vs. the art argument, but the more this happens the less it makes sense to go down that road.  Seinfeld said it best recently on Colbert…he doesn’t think he can separate the two anymore, which for all of those amazing artists who have been able to hide in the weeds after being expose…it doesn’t bode so well for them.  Think about it, for all those amazing directors and artists, the Woody Allens of the world and the Roman Polanski’s, if they can’t convince my generation and the ones previous, who are they gonna be able to convince.  Their art, which again, is phenomenal is on the verge of fading into oblivion.  It’s a tough pill to swallow because the actor in me wants their art to live on, but people nowadays…they aren’t so forgiving anymore.  

What will come?