#benson just cant let himself have one good thing ever :'))

[jollygoodhoe]

skipson immortality fic where benson realizes that he's going to die before skips does - and he gets into a spiral of feeling selfish for being with him at all, because someday, he'll just be putting skips through the pain of losing someone he loves again

question is - which character gives him the talk of "dude, you're not selfish for wanting love. wouldn't it be worse to deprive skips of having you at all?" (or is it skips himself who's like "relax. i know what i signed up for")

[ants-personal]

thinking about bensons dead beat dad who left around when he was 6 he doesnt remember much about him but he does remember being referred to as a fuck up already and how hed barely see him even though his mother was the one with a job.

How maybe once his dad took him hunting cause thats what men do with their sons and it hadnt been so bad until it came time to shoot the fawn his father whiaperung harshly for him to take the shot before it scampers off to his mother and he ended up crying with shaking hands unable to pull the trigger its mama would be sad he cried thats her i dont want it to die the fawn running off snd his father calling him pathetic and the rest of trip being spent in silence his father barely looking at him and when he did all he saw was disgust and anger.

How after his father left his mother was devastated and angry going from sobbing holding him rocking on the couch about how theyll be okay and to have him promise never to leave her hes a good boy and loves his mama course he wouldnt do that. To her drinking and getting angry just like that man did she only blamed him once regret on her face after but he remembers and never truly believed her when she apologized perfously. How much time he spent alone cause she still needed to work and they had no family close enough to watch him.

How he was forced to be more mature for his age at taking himself to and from school after second grade he doesnt play with the other kids he spends alot of his time alone reading or writing what he guesses were a kids verison of poems or songs. His teacher calling him a little elton john hes can see him being a big star when hes older. He would like the days they played sports it was the one time he acted like a kid running and laughing as his team would win.

He doesnt ask for many things knows because shes showed and explained that they dont have alot of money for the things she wishes she could give him but thanks to he who wont be named this is what they got he tries to make her feel better its okay mama he doesnt want those things anyways toys and games hes happy with a ball and paper and he doesnt really even wanna go to a stupid stinky zoo with his class. So praises him for being so smart and kind her sweet baby boy as they watch the old tv and a leftovers she took from the diner.

So its a surprise when she comes hom one night and sits him down to tell him she was able to get some distant relative to help her raise the funds to let him go to the field trip to the zoo and he cant help but squeal and jump around before hugging her thanking over and over hes never been so excited about anything he knows what animals will be there theyve been learning about them in class even when he wasnt going he still enjoyed at least learning. But now hes going he can barely concentrate when his mom explains that she wont be able to chaperone like all the other parents she still has to work but when dropping the money off at the school and explained this to his teacher. She was promised that his teacher would be keeping a close eye on him so hes to stay with him at all times and listen like she knows he will. Nodding furiously repeating promises a new bounce in his step he helps with the chores its the day before the best day ever and he has a hard time falling asleep but eventually does with a smile

[lovelivingmydreams]

When the two let go of one another Benson turned Virgil to face the rest of the room.

"I trust my nephew provided you with a pleasant journey here?" He asked glancing at Dante who straightened himself out.

"Sir Dante is your nephew?" Virgil asked in surprise.

Benson nodded. "Not long after you left my younger brother brought him here saying he insisted on becoming a knight. Prince Roman was kind enough to allow not just Dante but his parents and newborn sister as well to move in and had him started on training right away," he explained.

"I see," Virgil mused. So if he and Remus had stayed, Dante would have basically grown up with them... had the twins tried to make him a friend? It sounded like something Roman might've come up with.

"He was exemplary. You taught him well sir," Virgil told Benson.

"So good to see you and the little prince have returned."

Virgil's mood soured in an instant. Great, creativity's first 'villain'. This piece of work lived to cause trouble, but not the chaotic neutral Remus kind of chaos.

No this man wanted to control whoever was in charge. He never got his way, but he caused trouble none the less. And he was a big jerk to boot. Why was he still here? Because he was made to be a recurring villain. If he got caught he weasels his way out of punishment and somehow regained his earlier position in court.

Surd it'd been a long time, but Claude Levile was not the redemption arch kind of person.

Still Virgil and Remus both bowed respectfully, though V could hear Remus mutter something about the tower window and he could see that both Percy who was sitting on his left and Mel who was curled around Remus' leg were on high alert. Best pets in existance, seriously.

"It is good to be back lord Levile," Virgil said politely.

"My goodness you two have grown so much!" Another, higher, voice gushed. Virgil and Remus looked up and found lady Termaine. Remus' 'wicked cool' version of the wicked stepmother. Basically she was extremely enthusiastic about whatever the three of them found interesting and... well see for yourself.

"No offense your highness, but things were getting a bit stale around here. Now that you three are back together I have no doubt inspiration will flourish again! I bet you have a thrilling adventure planned already don't you? When are you boys leaving?" She really loved stories. Be it in the form of adventure recounts or castle gossip. And the biggest scandal causer in the world once more took residence in this castle.

"Let them settle in first milady." A thin but stately woman scolded. Virgil remembered her too. Dutches Thornclaw. She was a firm advocate of order and had zero sense of humour. Virgil figured Remus saw her as a challenge and Roman thought she could balance things out a little.

Virgil thought she was one of few people in this world with common sense. Even sir Benson could be stupid and reckless at times. Virgil had seen him in the woods trying to find them himself. Crazy old man.

"So this is everyone who knew I was comming back?" he asked as he tried not to think about everyone in the kingdom looking forward to seeing him, expecting things from him he had no clue about. While browsing the galery Roman had made several mentions of tributes the citizens had made them. It was meant well, but all Virgil thought was 'I left them waiting and now I cant ever live up to what they hope I have become.'

"Except for Levile. He is still on probationary from his last... practical joke," Benson corrected formally.

"Which means he is not privy to such information for another 5 months." The dutches said in a clipped voice staring at the man in clear disdain. Levile glared back but bit his tongue.

Tensions were clearly rising. He should calm things down somehow right? This couldn't end well... or maybe he was exaggerating? Logan had been helping him out with recognizing magnifications and other cognitive distortions. He looked at Roman and then at Dante and last at Benson. None seemed concerned. So... this was fine right?

Still he felt exhausted. Between the crowd, whatever Dante and Remus' deals were and all this. He needed a break.

He looked at Roman with what he hoped was a careless grin.

"Well collor me impressed. You actually can keep a secret. I owe Logan ten bucks."

Roman Rolled his eyes but not before giving Virgil an inpersieavable nod.

Hopefully Roman had some inspiration because if their exit was left up to Remus, there was no way of knowing what he would do.

So? Does Roman have an idea? Or is it up to Remus and his chaotic mind?

[rahleeyah]

i also like to think about how in the early seasons you see liv drinking beer for the most part, and now she drinks wine - liv is absolutely hard and tough and a survivor, more than capable of fitting in with the cops she works with, but it does lead me to think about how much she was, in a sense, performing that aspect when she first joined? and how it took her some time to settle into feeling respected and in place in the unit before she decided she didnt have to pretend to like beer, before she could start letting it show that she's more refined without worrying people wont see her as 'one of them' anymore also i love to think of elliot realizing the kind of money liv comes from for the first time - the way she pronounces foreign wines and scotches correctly the first time, the words rolling off her tongue like she'd heard them her whole life, because she did a bookshelf filled with the classics in various languages, maybe even some first editions a beautiful apartment she lives in all by herself that a cops salary really cant swing designer clothes in her walk-in closet that she didnt buy with an specific occasion in mind, but that she thought was beautiful and hopes to wear someday for a man who joined the marines at 17 to make sure he could support his family and became a cop because he has a GED and didnt see a different path, it must be wild to him, especially to think that liv really could have been anything she ever wanted to be, and that svu is what she chose. its a volunteer unit, yeah, but she chose it, maybe more than anyone else in that unit, because she had a world of oppotunity at her fingertips

Anon your mind!!!!!

The transition from beer to wine is so real and I love this take on it. Almost like Liv was trying to prove herself and then gradually loosened up, and was more authentically herself.

And goddddddd Elliot sort of finding out by accident about Liv's background? Like she doesn't wave it around but he totally notices- like you said, the nice apartment in Manhattan, the clothes, the way she seems to know things he just doesn't - and him being so shook by that? Maybe hurt, that there was this piece of her he didn't know about. Maybe hurt, bc Liv had everything, and he didn't, but then he pulls himself up short bc he knows what she went through, growing up. Money didn't keep her safe. Money didn't give her a good mother. Money didn't give her a chance to be loved.

And yasssssssss Liv choosing this life? Liv being able to do literally anything and choosing this? She did, but if she comes from a privileged background that choice seems...heavier, somehow. And she's not a tourist, tempted to see how the other half lives and then retreating back into security. This is her life. She just happens to have a lot of money in the bank, and enjoys it on occasion. She's still a fighter, still has a smart mouth and a hell of a temper, is happier in this life that she has chosen than in the restrained, suffocating refinement she grew up in.

You also pointed out one of my favorite little Liv details which is how many different languages she speaks. What was your education like Miss Benson I am so curious lmao

Really every word of this message is *chefs kiss* I love it so much

The only hole I have found so far in the Rich Girl Liv theory is that Elliot is the one who bailed her out of prison. Obviously she didn't know he was gonna do that, so maybe there's an argument that she had Trevor working on getting her out on her own terms and Elliot just beat her to the punch, but still.