#ben is just. soooo afraid of being deeply disgusting to anyone he could ever love because he's fat and he carries that shame around forever

[finalgirlgretchen]

quite frankly unbelievable to me how many people don't care about benverly as a ship. sooooo many mfers out there calling benverly boring or plain compared to reddie/stenbrough/whatever. and it's like. what do u MEAN boring. haven't u ever felt impossible to love. haven't u ever felt already ruined at the tender age of 11. haven't u ever met someone who loves u like it's the thing they were born to do regardless.

[princesssarcastia]

The Rise of Skywalker Review

Well, I actually went to see it!  I wasn’t sure that I would, but I’m honestly glad, because now i’ve got thoughts.

The first twenty minutes or so seemed really slapdash and disjointed, like they wanted to set up things for later but didn’t want to take the time to set them up well.  Everything was really rushed and shallow for that period.

But! This movie had a lot of poe-rey-finn interactions which I enjoyed deeply.  Rey and Poe sniping at each other, Finn and Rey being adorably close and caring, Finn and Poe being adorably close and caring.  They feel like they’ve actually spent time together! Excellent.

Leia’s scenes felt a little weird, like they were shoehorned in, but i still miss her so I’m kinda glad for her presence anyway.  Having her train Rey, pick up where Luke left off and push her to the finish line, makes me delighted.  Yes, Leia is force sensitive!!  She trained with her brother!!  She knows how to pass on what she learned!!!  She built a lightsaber!!!!!! excellent. (sidenote her lightsaber was sick.  i loved it. i want one)

I also liked how we got to see some diverse planets and terrain.  did they do their best on that front? no.  would have loved to see some more weird-ass alien planets, or even weird-ass terrain that actually exists in the real world, but they’re deathly afraid of being like the prequels, soooo.

The whole thing with the “sith dagger” and C-3P0′s memory was a shit storyline.  Here’s a magic item that will do everything we need! Give you the location of your navigator thing!! Magically fit against the skyline of the wreck of the deathstar, even though it’s an ancient artifact and the deathstar is constantly battered by incredibly powerful waves on an alien planet! ugh.  dumb.

If that droid from the old shipwreck was gonna have that knwoeldge the whole time,,,,,,, why not just let Rey befriend the droid,,,,,,,,instead of doing a “psych! gotcha!” with C-3P0′s memory. 

JJ Abrams being afraid to give real consequences to the new trio’s actions was shit.  Let them kill Chewie!  Let them essentially kill C-3P0! Or leave it out of the equation entirely!!!  These fake-outs cheapen emotional responses and motivations of the heroes of our story.

and hey, speaking of cheapening shit, why the ever-loving FUCK did they bring Palpatine back.  why.  I hate that.  I hated that SO MUCH IT WAS SO DUMB.  SO.  DUMB.  so darth vader redeemed and sacrificed himself over nothing, huh??  Anakin Skywalker, dumb bitch to the end, couldn’t even die right, because palpatine was fucking alive the whole time.  fuccking hell.  any hey, guess what?? Jedi can force-heal people, too! ha ha ha hahahahaha ha h  h a stupid anakin for believing palpatine had unique force powers and turning to the dark side, when really, it was a light-side power all along!!! (kill me)

(side note: healing being a power of the light and not the dark is thematically better, but uh.  see petty retconning below)

Making Rey his granddaughter is inarguably worse than having her be a true nobody, which was my number one pick.  I might even have been fine with it if she discovered it on her own!! But noooo, we need to have Kylo Ren and Luke tell her who she is.  Oh yeah, they knew who she was the whole time, lol! Isn’t that cute, stupid women having to be told who they are and what their legacy is. 

Which also makes her previous conversation with Kylo in TLJ cheap too! Look, I get it, we all hated TLJ, and Rian Johnson’s choices.  But...having Kylo tell Rey who she is twice, in two separate movies, and tell her two separate things each time, and have it be played straight both times, is just.  so.      dumb.   petty retconning of other people’s work is kind of disgusting.

That being said, in this movie I didn’t feel like Rey’s storyline was about anyone but her.  I mean, palpatine elements for sure, but except for being told whose granddaughter she was, she was basically in control of her own destiny.  I liked that a lot.

Rey’s fight with Kylo on the wreck of the death star? *chef’s kiss*.  Amazing.  Incredible.  Lightsaber duels have gotten so much better and I love them.  somewhere inside me my five-year old self is screaming for joy and picking up her toy lighsabers.  Ridley and Driver have, unfortunately, very good chemistry in their scenes together, and the tension while they fought was so good. 

Poe as a former drug dealer makes me tired.  Poe Dameron, who idolizes Leia and had rebellion pilots for parents, was a drug dealer?? You kidding me?? ugh.

Also, if i’m being petty, I hated the way force ghosts could interact with reality. 

Lando Calrissian!! Lando I love you.  I love you so much.  The idea of all those people coming to the Resistance’s aid is pretty cool tbh, and I liked it.  I liked Lando playing ambassador and politician for the resistance. 

I absolutely hated the ““planet-killing-cannon”“ palpatine’s fleet had.  These fucking,  fan-pandering morons just cannot let the idea of a planet-killer go, can they?  It’s not like a shit ton of ships, the biggest fleet in the galaxy, able to blockade hyper-space lanes and entire planets, would be a good enough threat, oh no.  audiences aren’t smart enough to respond to something that complicated, so we need to make it SUPER OBVIOUS, just like in TLJ.  “the death star but bigger/portable” is dumb.

Finn finding other defectors was so fucking cool, I love that for him.  Also, like, Im pretty sure they were all force-sensitive like he is, which I think is amazing.  Confirming Finn’s force sensitivity was the best decision they made in this movie, tbh. 

The driving problem of this movie was, in my opinion, the exec and creative teams being unable to stick to their guns with Kylo Ren as the big villian.  Twice, people reached out to him for redemption: his father in TFA, and rey in TLJ.  Twice, he rejected that offer, and ascended to Supreme Leader.

But instead of letting him do that, they instead turned him back to the light for little to no discernible reason.  What, his mother dying finally pushed him over the edge?? You kidding me???? He LITERALLY murdered his father in cold blood. i call bullshit. 

And because they couldn’t let kylo be the main villian, they also had to bring back palpatine.  Look man, Adam Driver abso-fuckin-lutely has the chops to be a big bad.  He’s really good at his job, actually, and I believe he could carry the weight of being the scary leader and face of the dark side.  But no, y’all are chicken.

I mean, even though I hated him turning back, driver-as-ben-solo was fucking lit.  He was so good for those, what two minutes?? The tension during his rush to Rey??? Him fucking with the KNights of Ren?? His switcheroo with Rey, the way he nods and bows a little when the Knights all step back, knowing they’re about to get their asses kicked?? Oh my god! It was so fun to watch.  You could tell, even from that much, he’s a cocky little shit, and would have been so fun to watch for three movies instead of three minutes.

Their kiss at the end when he dies?? boo, hiss, no thank you.  Not a fan.  I’ll concede their chemistry as actors, but that was not romantic chemistry between their characters.  nuh-uh no way no how.  gross.

Overall, like a 5/10.  Wildly inconsistent.  I really liked some parts, and enjoyed other parts out of context, and really hated other parts. 

ps— me, watching the ot3 hug Like That™: NOW KISS.