#begging the one guy who has only ever loved money to give me some + make my PTSD worse in the process is not a solution

[quiltcas]

*shaking my mother by the shoulders* boundaries are good and identity theft is bad actually!

[euphoria-looney]

Credits to the idea:

Batfam X Neglected Reader ( Squid Games)

Creds to the dividers: (?)

The Winner Takes It All by ABBA

When do humans get so desperate they give up their own lives for that small chance of money?

Money is a category in your history class dedicated to why money is the basis of your life. Economy.

I first witnessed someone leave everything had for money, my mother. When I was 5, I didn't know why my mother was leaving the manor with a huge suitcase, filled with cash.

My mother engaged to Bruce Wayne who only allowed her in as they procreated me. In her words, both sides should take responsibility, it takes two to tango, and why should she be the only one to deal with the consequences.

Which now is very hypocritical as she ran away taking everything but me.

I didn't want sympathy, but I didn't want to be treated like dirt for a mistake I didn't make.

For the next 13 years of my life, I tried to stay on the down low, no matter how many dirty looks, and the insults, not even when Damian would hurt me.

I just hoped they wouldn't mind if I stayed with them a little longer until I could find a stable way to leave.

That hope burst when Alfred came to my room and told me “Master Bruce has decided to kick you out and disown you, I'm so sorry, [name].”

I tried to somehow make it, promising myself, it was going to be okay.

I got into college, and the debt collected from that was massive, so I had to go get loans at the bank, and then get into a part-time job, but every day seemed like we were always getting robbed. My manager had no choice but to let me go.

“I'm sorry, sugar, but we aren't pulling in enough customers and I can't afford to keep too many employees, there's no easy way to say this but, you have to quit. I don't want to fire you, it'd look bad for any job you'd apply for next.”

I held onto her hand like a lifeline I begged and pleaded with no avail.

I tucked my tail in and went to the Wayne manor.

"Um, It's [name], could I... um..." I swallowed my words, afraid to say them, I mean, this was humiliating, 13 years since I'd seen them and the first thing I asked for was cash? "... borrow some money."

No surprise I was rejected, but that didn't hurt me it was the comments, how I was so much like my mother.

I waddled to the train station, if I was lucky, the train wouldn't be hijack or filled with gas tonight.

"Hey, you want to earn some money?" A guy next to me.

"No, thank you."

"10,000 dollars. Just a child's game"

I lifted my head to stare at him. I couldn't see his face, hidden behind a mask.

"It's a Korean game, visited it a few days ago, so would you mind playing it with me?" He gave an authoritative vibe, it made me want to back away, his aura was sinister.

I had already hit rock bottom, what could be lower? I hesitantly nodded my head.

I don't know how many times I lost, but I finally did it!

Handing me the cash and then handing me this weird card.

"If you ever need more, contact us." with that he walked away.

Third POV

“B, are you sure this is the right spot?”

‘Positive. Are you sure you want to join on this mission, Dick.”

Despite what anyone might think Batman, otherwise known as Bruce Wayne cares and loves his kids.

Changing into suits and golden animal masks, they went to the VIP room, make some bets on random numbers.

Oracle was doing the background work, hacking into everything, it wasn't like the movies and the stress was on.

The court of Owls was not just one villain working but a cult that was not only wealthy but influential, with their own members, called Talons who were armed and ready.

On the screen 456 players appeared.

“Today, we have prepared the game red light, green light. A child game.” The frontman introduced the V.I.P’s at the start of the first round.

[name]’s POV:

Waking up, the clothes I was originally wearing changed into the tracksuit outfit with a number on it.

A person caught my eye, it’s Astro! From the law department, I couldn’t help but approach him.

“What are you doing here?” Word got around that he was an academic genius, and many had hope for his bright future.

I could only remember how fond his mother was when talking about him, I thought I saw her the other day working.

“Oh, [name]. It’s been a while hasn’t it? What are you doing here?” He dodged the question.

“I… couldn’t afford college and took out a loan, eventually I got a lot of debt.” Our conversation got cut short as we headed to this random room.

Going to this machine it said ‘smile’

I gave a gummy like smile before making my way to the field

Playing red light, green light.

After explaining the rules everyone started running, nothing was wrong until a person got spotted moving during the red light, poor guy, going home penniless after making it here-

Spat

Oh.

There’s blood on my shoes.

It was like a stampede of people running to the door, stacking on top of each other. I was frozen out of fear.

Wha-

What do I do?

I’m afraid.

Someone tell me, what do I do?!

Before I knew it, I made it to the end.

Third POV:

Thankfully no one found the bat family suspicious or they would’ve noticed how they tensed up seeing as their daughter/sibling had the first contestant’s blood splattered not only on her shoes but also on her clothes.

A break had ensued as the game was over and everyone made their way to their individual rooms.

“What are they doing there?!”

“Should we stop it now?!”

“How?!”

“Quiet down!” Bruce had stopped the panic, but in reality he, himself didn’t know what to do either.

[name]’s POV:

Going back to the room, I felt like a doll and everyone sat on the floor.

The sickening feeling of seeing the gold lighting illuminating the clear pig, with money dropping down into it.

I could feel my stomach drop just thinking about it.

I didn't know what was happening until Astro got up and rebutted the guards.

“Clause three, The games may be terminated upon a majority vote, right?”

Thankfully, ending this sick and twisted game.

That didn’t last long though as a day had passed and I was back in this building. I think everyone who left was.

I talked to new people, especially this one old man who reminded me of Alfred.

“I could say the same to you. You’re young, and your debt is lower than most people here, so why continue risking your life for this money?” I shook my head, my face holding a sad smile.

“No matter how hard I try I just keep gaining then losing debt. But it’s different for you sir. Doesn’t the government give insurance and medicare for the elderly?” I held his hands in mine.

“The government isn’t as nice as you think, corrupt up in their high-paying jobs, but still greedy for more.”

As the games ensued I could feel myself deteriorate.

Third POV

Gripping onto the couch arms, and bouncing off one's feet could symbolize when someone is... anxious.

Or it could be showing anticipation.

So let's pretend that's what Bruce Wayne is feeling right now.

And if we asked his opinion on number ###, [name] [lastname]...

Most people would think, "Yes, he must be anticipating her death, how the blood would splatter, whether it be from losing a game or betrayal from another contestant." That's what most people would think of that entire family.

How could you not?

They shamed her, bullied her, and scorned her away from their home.

Wouldn't even provide financial aid much less.

Isn't that why she's here in the first place?

It was like they wanted her to grovel and die, die a death that would have no meaning, not even to this unforgiving world.

However, you'd be shocked that's not correct.

Anxiety is a scary thing it makes you make rash decisions. Good or bad.

It was nothing new to these vigilantes.

But oh. seeing her tired eyes, sweat dripping down everywhere, from her head to her legs. Her trembling form.

If you didn't know the context you'd already think she was a corpse.

No! That's wouldn't couldn't be true.

They couldn't allow it to be, she was going to be safe.

She had to be.

She was forgotten, but now, everyone's eyes were on her.

Anxiety is a scary thing, and with the current event, situation, there was nothing they could do but hope for the best, bounce their legs, and grip the couch.

-

It’s time for the next game.

“For this game we’ll be playing the marble game.”

—

There will be 2 endings choose which one. (I'll be making both.)

-> Thank you… for playing with me.

-> Astro!

Also, I love the idea and from fic from both @jellyfishmoon97 and @not-weirdoshrek

@holysoulsweets @sh4rk-k1d @sillysealsies @loomspuddle @cantfindmelol @alwaysholymilkshake @leitor-sonolento (I think these are all the ones that wanted to get tagged idk though 😍)

[mintmatcha]

I so understand this would be so far off, but I’m imagining reader’s son being 13 and a couple months old, he’s cordial with Shinsou, for his mum, but he’s trying to come to terms with why his mum didn’t stay with his dad. Until monoma doesn’t show up for something and maybe one of his friends is like ‘hey, I’m really sorry your dad is always doing that. It must really suck’

‘My dad always shows up usually, just later. He’s busy.’ And the look of pity from his friend and it just CLICKS

Has to call his mum to pick him up and shinsou picks him up because maybe it’s late at night, and shinsou has always respected that he shouldn’t talk shit about monoma in front of your son, but when your son starts asking about things, about the lies and twisted truths monoma has told, shinsou won’t lie to him. Just gives him yes and no answers.

Monoma doesn’t understand why all of a sudden his son isn’t responding to his messages or answering his phone calls, and there’s no way he’s calling you to reveal to you that he’s no longer the golden father figure in your son’s eyes

I LOVE THIS IDEA AAA

I think, leading up to that, the more your son is angry at monoma, the more he's disrespectful of you. it's displaced, but he just can't bring himself to think that his dad is the problem.

the only time shinso has ever REALLY yelled at him was after school one day. monoma was supposed to come for his weekend, but it's shinso standing at the curb waiting for him.

"Whoa, that's your dad?" a friend asks. oh, he had been bragging all day that his pro hero dad was coming to take him on vacation and now he's face to face with the realization that he's not going anywhere.

"He is not my dad." There's so much angst and anger building up in his gut. you must have done something to piss his real dad off- it's always your fault when he doesn't arrive- "he's just some guy my mom whores around with."

Shinso's jaw flexes so tightly that he can see it from all the way from across the street. He uses his whole name, biting out every syllable with a barely restrained anger. your son trudges across the street with his pack dragging on the ground.

"Say that again." It's been years since he's thought Shinso was scary, but the cold grind of his voice makes him freeze. "Say it right here, to my face."

They both know he can't. He doesn't have the guts. Shinso bends over just a bit, bringing himself face to face.

"You do not have to respect me. You don't even have to like me." Shinso's voice breaks with the sheer volume he's using. your son looks back at his friends, who look equally horrified. "But you will not talk about your mother that way."

The man jabs a finger towards the school bag.

"And pick up your fucking bag." He's never cursed at your son before. "Your mom worked extra shifts to pay for that."

He had begged for this bag, the full leather one. it was expensive. too expensive to ask you for. It came as a holiday present with no name, so he had always assumed his dad was the one who bought it. Monoma is the one with money-- you're just a waitress. The scuffed bottom suddenly feels embarrassing.

Shinso hasn't stopped his ranting. "All she has ever done is loved you. Your whole life! All she's ever done! And I will not let you treat her the way your father treats her, got it?"

Your son doesn't reply.

"I said- did you fucking get that?"

His real dad never yells. No, he just laughs when he says things like that. Your son sniffs and slugs his bag over his shoulder. "Yeah. Whatever."

"And if you ever say that to your mother's face-" he can't finish the sentence. "Get walking."

[inf3ct3dd]

streamer!ellie headcanons

warnings: yo no se

content : streamer!ellie headcanons 🔥🔥

authors note : the streets r calling and they’re telling me to write streamer ellie hcs….

- def started off as a faceless streamer. she wasn’t really comfortable on camera, and she just thought it would be way easier. you can only see her shoulders-down leaving her (deliciosu. scrumptious. yummy) arms in the cameras view.

- her twitch user is “creeperewman” cuz shes like…discreetly hiding her initials and referencing the best minecraft parody ever 😕!!!

- bought the most random shitty mic and webcam and started streaming 🔥🔥 she never got rid of either of them its part of her odd loser charm

“‘fartmaster69:it’s probably cuz your camera’ it’s probably bc of YOUR CAMERA!!! theres nothing wrong w my camera bro 😞”

“don’t listen to them…ur perfect 🤫 IM NOT TALKING TO U GUYS IM TALKING TO MY CAMERA”

- only had a few viewers the first couple times she streamed, and it was some random 10 yr old who kept spamming “yassss” in the chat and some dude who said she was shit at minecraft 😞 he was LYING

- started off doing minecraft speed runs (or trying to) and got like way good over time

- she randomly started getting more and more viewers, because people kept posting abt her and calling her fine on tiktok , making edits of her hands and her voice 😭😭 (real)

- as she got more and more viewers, she started branching out more with the games she’d play. def loves shooter games like cod and pubg, but she’d also play like indie horror games like faith (omg markiplier fans would know)

- she has a orange cat she named garfield (cuz…of course she does) and he’s always sitting on her lap during her streams or messing w her setup 💔💔

- def put stickers all over her headset and showed them off all proud on stream

- designed her own cute banners and stuff for streams 😞!!!

- def had a subreddit/disc server with her viewers where she’d let them give her game recs or make memes of her

- ppl saw her guitar in the back of her streams and BEGGED HER to play it and she had her own lil concert stream !!! she was so freaking nervous and messed up a bunch the first like minute or two but like after that she was in the ZONE

“‘ewswife: i wish i was that guitar’ oh!! you guys are so…kind!!!”

- when she INSANELY hit 1k, she did a face reveal and she hit 10k the same day 😦 the amount of edits that ppl made was actually insane. ESP ONES MAKING FUN OF DREAMS FACE REVEALLLL

- started doing much more random shit on stream after she got more famous. she LOVES cooking on stream, and she’d start reacting to random shit ppl sent her on the subreddit

- she cut her hair on stream once, and everyone in the chat kept spamming “yo bob…is fye” for like 5 minutes 😪

- “you’re at work watching me? i hope you get fired. i mean. i hope you don’t get fired 😞”

- she gets so many thirst comments and like…is terrible at responding to them

“‘ewleftbicep: you look so vulnerable today’ WHAT”

- she has her own apartment cuz of her awesome streaming money 🔥🔥🔥 soundproofed walls too cuz she’s. loud.

- one day, you were walking on campus to a class. you had your headphones on, listening to your main playlist on shuffle, when you got stopped by someone. you pulled your headphones off your ears and gave the man in front of you a confused look. you looked down to his hands, holding a tiny mic, and another dude holding a camera.

“what song are you listening to?” he held the microphone towards you, awaiting your response.

you quickly responded “uhm, last goodbye, by jeff buckley.” and stood there awkwardly, pushing a piece of hair out of your face.

the man quickly thanked you and you walked away, slightly suprised.

- after a couple hours, the video had blown up and the comments were filled with people complimenting you.

pickleluna: jeff buckley girl is so fine

minyonlala: 3rd girl is so bad

rilakkila: I NEED JEFF BUCKLEY GIRL

and unknown to you, someone else found you on their fyp.

creeperewman: guys what is the 3rd girls @. im literally BEGGING BRO PLEASEEE

- ewleftbicep: BEING DESPERATE ON MAIN IS CRAZY

- ewsgirlf: random tiktok girl stole my wife 💔

- elliewilliamsidechick: guys im literally the 3rd girl 😂😂😂

- it didn’t take long for your phone to be blown up with people sending you the video, tagging you in funny comments, and finding your instagram. you watched the video, and saw ellie was the top comment. you checked her profile, and saw how FINE she was, and immediately responded

- y/nmainn: guys 😳😳😳 what if i was the third girl ��😳

- ellie checked her phone and saw thousands of people tagging your comment, and she wasted zero time following you on tiktok. and your instagram. its not stalking if its in your bio, right?

- you two immediately hit it off, and ellie loved the fact that you had absolutely no idea who she was. to you, she was just some hot girl. not some famous streamer you were obsessed with.

- she didn’t even realize you two went to the same school until she saw you in her astrophysics class one day, and she almost had a heart attack when you waved at her and walked over to sit next to her.

“what a coincidence.”

- she took you out on your first date to a planetarium, and not even a week after, asked you to be her girlfriend.

- she definitely teaches you how to play her favorite games. but she gets wayyyy defensive when you beat her.

“im just letting you win.”

“beginners luck.”

but shes SO COCKY when she beats you

“hey, don’t be so hard on yourself after this. not your fault im a professional!”

“aw, maybe one day you’ll be as good as me”

- definitely helps you build your own pc.

- loves watching you play things like animal crossing or stardew valley, always lays on your shoulder while you’re on the couch.

“why are you being so mean to gaston :((“

“because hes UGLY and he has an ugly house and he’s ruining my village.”

“wowww you’re bullying a little bunny man because he doesn’t fit your aesthetic 😒 so mean”

- if you like more aggressive games like cod, she loves listening to you talk shit while you play and always makes fun of people with you. (she thinks its hot when you’re mean to people)

- her chat absolutely loves you, and every time you stream together its a continuous stream of “me and who” and “when is it my turn 😪”

[spacerockfloater]

Being a female viewer and hating Criston Cole is deranged.

I have to get this off my chest. The blind hatred that Criston is receiving from women is insane and I’m going to explain why.

For context, I am talking about Show Criston, not Book Criston. Comparing two standalone versions of a story is silly.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that so many women, who are the primary victims of utilitarian relationships, would ever come together and shit on Criston for enduring such a situation.

I’m sorry, but how many of you have been used by men? How many of you have been reduced to one night stands, situationships and placeholder wives? How many of you have been deemed “not good enough” to be an exclusive partner? I log into tiktok and I see NOTHING but stories of broken women who are just used for sex, money, care and whatnot by men, and then they are tossed away like worthless trash while said men continue their pursuit of the ideal woman. Being used by men just for sex and being denied the status of girlfriend, let alone wife, is probably one of the worst plagues women are experiencing in the western world because the MOMENT we were emancipated, men understood that they don’t owe us shit anymore and instead of treating us with respect, they decided to grab whatever they can and give nothing back. Do not tell me that there are women out there that are fine with this arrangement because the multiple “GWM while I tell you about the guy that was with me for 12 years and then married someone else” tell a different story, one of multiple women’s dignities being trampled by hungry men. My heart breaks for every woman (EVERY woman, cis, trans, EVERY woman) who has been called by a man she loves just for sex, for every woman whose man never wanted to be seen in public with her, for every woman who had to hear that her man is not ready for a relationship only to witness him getting engaged to another woman 2 weeks after. I hope you overcome this and become stronger and I am glad that we are finally supporting one another.

How can we then, the women who are helping other female victims rise up and speak out against this kind of abuse, push Criston down and tell him to suck it up and accept being Rhaenyra’s plaything? Have we no mercy? Are we so hungry for revenge against men that we’d want them to endure the same humiliation that we did, as if one fictional man’s suffering would bring us justice? Are we so jealous that Criston didn’t sit down and just take it like the rest of us, but instead spoke up and removed himself from that situation? Or are we so gullible that we accept what the screenwriters shove down our throats and unknowingly support the patriarchic view that if you’re being used by someone you should just accept it?

I can hear some of you arguing that “Oh, this is different because Rhaenyra is royalty!” as if being used and tossed by a powerful person somehow makes the situation any better? Would it be okay if a rich person wanted to constantly use you for sex while he keeps looking for a better woman to be by his side, just because he values his wealth and status more? Rhaenyra straight up sneered at the idea of a simple life with him. She straight up told him that HE is not worth as much as her crown. OUCH. Even though I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of being told you are not enough by your loved one, it was Rhaenyra’s right to choose what her priorities are, but WHY would he have to accept being her sidepiece? “These were different times”: does this make it any less devastating for the victim? And he was a victim because Rhaenyra still used Criston and misled him by constantly complaining about how she HATES her duties for YEARS and then luring him to break his oath. Do you think he would have still slept with her if he was aware that moments ago, Rhaenyra was begging on her knees to be fucked by Daemon and only turned to Criston because her first option was no longer available? Like, the man was contemplating having sex with her and resisted her for a good fucking while, so imagine how quickly he would have turned around and walked out that door if he had that information beforehand. You know why? Because he loved her. He loved her to the point that he broke his oath for her, the oath of a station he FOUGHT FOR IN A WAR. He shed blood and sweat and risked his life for the mere opportunity to gain that position. This was ALL he had, he came from NOTHING and he was still willing to toss it all away for Rhaenyra not once, but twice. It wasn’t just sex he wanted because we never see him have sex again after that. He became vulnerable and gave up everything that he was to be with Rhaenyra. He was willing to abandon his whole identity for her sake. Is this not what the ideal partner is? Ready to abandon everything for your shake? Everything he fought for, tooth and nail? Was he unreasonable in thinking that Rhaenyra was willing to do the same for him? Was he crazy to think that because he was ready to put everything he FOUGHT for aside for her shake, Rhaenyra would also put aside a duty she was handed and actively seem to hate for him too? Fuck no! After hearing her constant talk about how she hates her father, her duties, her refusal to wed other men, how she is trapped as a princess, how people have no idea how much it SUCKS being her, why would he not assume that she’d be willing to give it all up for him, as he’d do for her We never see Rhaenyra even TRY to be a ruler, just complain about it. Of course it would be a fucking shock to him hearing her say “Lol dude, I actually do kinda want this”.

Criston was actually the only person in the series that wanted Rhaenyra for her, not her money or crown. I’m not saying she had to follow him, it was her right to refuse him, but his willingness to lead a simple life with just her has got to mean something. And don’t give me that “he only wanted to redeem his honour by marrying her” crap, because first of all Criston nutted up and admitted everything to Alicent and was ready to face death without EVER blaming Rhaenyra for anything, and second of all, oh no, how dare a human being have ethical values and desire to live with dignity in society’s broad light rather than move in the shadows as the princess’s secret boytoy! Bad, bad Criston for feeling you have to atone for your sins. Maybe we as people have become so corrupt that we envy those who wish to walk a virtuous path in life. Or maybe y’all have become so fond of the unhinged unapologetic character trope because it feels “original” (even if it’s ridiculously overused nowadays) that you’ve actually forgotten what characters with good morals are. Like, picking your fave war criminal and rolling with them because you enjoy good drama, especially in a show that’s meant to provide entertainment, is one thing, but passionately stating that Criston had to submit to that humiliation is something else entirely.

Finally, let’s ditch the Criston being a misogynist bullshit because he had NO issue obeying Rhaenyra before their affair or Alicent. And he is ALWAYS true to himself and his values, because even after everything he endured, he did not use Alicent’s anger as an excuse to take revenge on Rhaenyra and harm her children. Criston never betrayed her, Rhaenyra used him and he walked away and he went towards the only person who seemed to spare him some sympathy and understand him and not condemn him for his crimes even if he hated himself, which is typical victim mentality. And don’t get me started on the Joffrey incident because y’all tore Cole to SHREDS for it. Joffrey had it fucking coming. You don’t go up to people’s faces, especially ones you don’t know, threaten them by telling them you know their secret, a secret that SHAMES them and burdens them to the point they’re ready to commit suicide, and all but directly call them a whore. What the fuck did he think was going to happen? They’d shake hands? Piss off. Let this be a lesson to anyone that doesn’t know how to keep their mouths shut and their noses out of other people’s business. Also, mocking his suicide attempt makes my stomach turn. Just take a moment to consider all the young women who just like him, reluctantly surrendered their virginities to men only to find out they were nothing but sex dolls in their eyes, all these girls whose trust led to their secret being spread and them getting ridiculed and slut shamed for it: how many girls have taken their own lives because they found living with such a burden unbearable?

For the love of everything you hold sacred, please wake up. The narrative that you can be used by someone powerful and you have to accept it because that’s the way things are is a man’s construct. Do not let them fool you.

[holy-puckslibrary]

━ 𝐅*𝐂𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑.

-ˏˋ. 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ˊˎ-

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — FWB!matthew tkachuk x f!reader 𝐰𝐜 — 1.7k 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 — "old habits die hard..." — or, your boyfriend won’t fuck you right, so you run to the one person who always does.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — patrons know the chokehold this toxic sin-fest has on me and probably always will... in all seriousness, this is one of my favorite things i've ever published and i am so insanely proud of it. i hope you love it as much as i do <3

(spoiler — not possible teehee)

18+ MDNI — content warnings under the cut.

𝐜𝐰 — profanity, innuendo, matthew’s filthy mouth and lack of morals, cheating (not on matty or the reader), outdated/incorrect information about having sex for the first time, borderline too much degradation, some objectification to add a little spice, unprotected sex w a cheeky creampie (what did you expect from two morally bankrupt individuals written by me, a retired whore?), matthew being a noncommittal, possessive piece of shit joking about knocking people up for funzies

────────────

“D’you think you’re so addicted to my cock because you know I don’t give a fuck what you think about me? Or care if you think I’m a Nice Guy?”

Even buried to the hilt—bare with nothing between you and far too fucking close for comfort—Matthew Tkachuk runs his mouth like he’s got nothing to lose and even less to prove. He’s insufferable, his only redeeming quality being the pulsing appendage threatening to split you in half as you buck in his lap.

With your hands braced against his hard chest for leverage, you drown out his grating voice, chasing the white-hot surges, bolts of lightning leading you to the brink of collapse with renewed vigor.

The sooner you come, the sooner he’s gone.

“All I care about, sweetheart, is fucking you good and hard. Giving it to you like the hungry, cockdrunk whore that you are.”

Debonair attitude. Sly confidence. Vulgar demeanor.

Filthy fucking mouth.

You were warned about Matthew Tkachuck. Repeatedly. Warned about him and his complete lack of a filter, about his total disregard for anyone’s feelings but his own. His aversion to commitment, to monogamy, to propriety.

All the things that repulse you about the man lounging on expensive hotel sheets beneath you—as you do all the work—lure you back to him in equal measure. He shouldn’t turn you on, but that’s exactly why he does. He’s all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Which makes him just right.

“I bet if your fiancé walked in right now, you’d just keep riding me. You wouldn’t even notice, would you? After all, you haven’t cum yet. And that’s all you care about, right? Using my cock to get your rocks off because Billy Boyfriend’s too scared to give you what you really need. Lucky for you, I’m not a fuckin’ pussy. I don’t treat you like a fragile doll because I know you’ll take anything I give you—and beg for more. I treat you like what you are, not some chaste little princess.”

You’ve been with Bill for nearly a decade, engaged for more than a year. It’ll be a spring wedding, probably. If the venue pans out, and the caterer finally calls you back with a final quote.

Perfect on paper.

He doesn’t pay attention to you the way he used to. Just throws money at the problem until he can bury himself in work again, undisturbed by you or nagging obligation.

Flowers for being three hours late, a necklace for missing dinner entirely. A trip overseas when he had to go into the office on your anniversary.

But he’s nice, so fucking nice it hurts, and more loyal than the Golden Retriever he wants to adopt after the honeymoon. After you’re settled into a custom-build nestled comfortably in the suburbs and far away from the city. White picket fence, manicured lawn, barely-there speed limits.

It's all so nauseatingly idyllic. So perfectly attuned with what you thought you wanted, what you spent your childhood coveting.

All your single friends are jealous; your committed friends are resentful. Your family loves him, and even though you’ve got a fucked up way of showing it, so do you.

And he loves you too. He’s just busy. It’ll be different once we’re settled, he says. You try to believe him, though not as hard as you should. You tell yourself it's because he doesn’t either.

Bill’s gotten lazy. You’ve gotten bored.

You’re no angel, and never claimed to be. You just want to feel good.

Matthew barks out a dry laugh, almost like he can read your mind.

“You haven’t been since I first got you on your knees at his birthday party. And definitely not after I popped that sweet cherry you were so adamant about saving for him."

Bill doesn’t fuck you. He never has.

He makes love to you. It’s that romance-novel tenderness that got you here in the first place. Slow, sweet, and nearly devoid of passion. It’s so gentle you have to think of him just to come.

How he fucks you.

How tightly he yanks your hair, craning your neck until it aches. How hard he kneads and smacks your ass, bullying the skin until you sob. How deep his cock reaches. And how he takes, takes, takes without forethought. How could you accept a lifetime of only tame rutting in the face of Pavlovian depravity?

It’s awful, and it's so profoundly selfish, but his everything has you in a bind.

Matthew’s everything is ruining your life.

An uncharacteristic wave of guilt and sadness washes over you, and before you can catch yourself, you’re staring down at the engagement ring. The band constricts, digging into your finger like it's out for blood when you glimpse the indentation it left behind on Matthew’s peck. You wince, then choke down the shame lodged in your throat, screwing your eyes shut to will it away.

“If it's bothering you that much, take it off. I’ll keep it safe for you.” —wink— “I can’t imagine the weight of a rock like that, especially one you don’t even deserve. But, if you actually felt as guilty as you claim to, you wouldn’t be this wet on another man’s cock. Don’t play saint now. You’ll ruin the fun.”

You can’t do this right now; you can’t have this worn-out fight. So, you say what you always say even though you’ve long since stopped trying to mean it.

“You keep saying that, sweetheart. We should stop. This is the last time. But no matter what you say, you always come crawling back to me sooner or later because I have what you need. Because I’m not him. Because I fuck you better.”

His words light you on fire. You hate it, but how deeply your body enjoys them is undeniable. How tightly you squeeze and flutter with every degrading line, choking his cock as you use him to satisfy your own perverted needs. How his brutal honesty, his refusal to let you forget your zealous participation in the affair for even a second, arches your back and hardens your nipples.

Even without all that evidence stacked against you, the blitzed-out look on your face says it all. One look at you and everyone would know just how right Matthew is.

“Shut the fuck up,” you growl.

You say it for the sake of saying it. To know, when you curl into Bill's side tonight, that you said something to deny his assessment of you.

But the last thing you want is for him to shut his mouth.

Not right now, not when you’re right there—

“You can’t hide from me, sweetheart, and you can’t lie to me. You can’t fool me, either. I see right fucking through you. It terrifies you—and you love it.”

His raspy voice swims freely through your hollowed-out mind. It unwittingly thumbs through every unforgivable memory, like some sort of pornographic Rolodex.

Matthew’s hips grinding against yours in darkened corners and dive-bar bathroom stalls and poker tables.

His hands fighting against hard-earned sweat in the foggy backseat of his car, battling to find purchase anywhere he can so he can keep rutting with reckless abandon before you’re expected home.

His fingertips burrowing into the sides of your throat, hard enough to bruise, hard enough to silence, hard enough to hurt.

Him spilling inside of you, ropes painting the sacred place white with no remorse or expectation of responsibility.

Matty’s hand over your mouth, urging you to be fucking quiet as he pistons in and out, in and out, keeping you pinned against the bathroom door, against the only thing standing between Bill and the worst discovery of his apple-pie life—

Old habits die hard.

Especially when it’s one that always feels that fucking good. No matter how lecherous or immoral.

Or how badly the betrayal would hurt someone underserving and innocent.

“Even if you walk down that aisle and take his last name, you’ll still belong to me. Wedding or not, this pathetic, weeping cunt belongs to me. But it’s all gonna be okay, though. Don’t you worry that pretty, empty head. I don’t mind sharing my toys. Especially with someone who could never compete.”

You can't compete where you don't compare.

He doesn’t want to be your boyfriend. He doesn’t want to be anyone’s boyfriend. He isn’t the Relationship Type. He doesn’t even want to be exclusive. That’s part of his appeal, no matter how fervently you deny it. He doesn’t want more than pleasure—primal, deviant pleasure—and that’s all you're looking for.

That's all you need.

“Where do you want my load, dirty girl?”

“Inside. I-Inside me, please, Matty.”

“Right answer.”

The burst of warmth is like getting a perfect grade you didn’t earn. Or feeling the cash your sibling gave you in exchange for not ratting them out sitting in your back pocket. It's hard to feel bad about the wrong you’ve done when the payoff is so deliciously worthwhile.

Matthew twitches, still hugged by your sensitive walls, and you shudder.

This is the high you chase every time you bend your morals until they splinter. The still nothingness that lays beyond the denouement, where everything is glowy and the pit inside you appears not-so-bottomless for once. The lack of expectations and obligations. The sheer freedom that stringless pleasure, that sensual self-indulgence provides.

Matthew doesn’t owe you anything, you don’t owe him anything either, and neither of you pretends otherwise.

And you sure as fuck don’t trip on his dirty laundry every time you walk into the bedroom.

“If that doesn’t take,” Matthew flicks his hips in emphasis, “…let me know when and where you want your wedding present, sweetheart.”

You don’t answer. You push his hands away and roll off of him unceremoniously. But he keeps talking.

Matthew is always talking.

“Oh, and before I forget, would you be a dear and let Billy know I won’t be able to make it for his bachelor party? I don’t know why, but I have the oddest feeling that something desperately needing my attention will come up.”

────────────

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[madame-fear]

𐙚 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐓, 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘.ᐟ

ೀ amira speaks.ᐟ : author has NO idea how strip clubs work so I had to do some research and ask for help,, honourary mention to my love @lady-ashfade for helping me out ♡ also,, this fic was inspired in the song Vegas by Joseline Hernández !! I badly cringed at myself the entire time but hope you guys like it ahhdjfkf rip ˗ˏˋ ꒰ summary : you are Fran’s favourite stripper; and he’s your favourite client who seems to adore you a bit too much. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ word count : 2.4k

˗ˏˋ ꒰ genre : smut. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ pairing : Francisco Romero x Stripper!Reader

WARNING.ᐟ THIS FIC CONTAINS ; Fran being a little bit obsessed with you, him begging to cum inside of you, unprotected sex, P in V, cowgirl position, him being a bit possesive over you, profanity, dirty talk, use of pet names, creampie.— let me know if I forgot about something else!

The blonde haired Argentine was often referred to as your “favourite, most exclusive client”.

The very first moment your sight spotted his presence amidst the large crowd of swooning men in the strip club where you worked, you felt surprised of seeing him. Surprised, because of how much of a sweet angel he seemed— if you saw him outside your work, you would never expect him to be a frequent visitor to strip clubs, or be as filthy as he was. His sweet light green eyes and delicate features were nastily deceptive.

Just like Francisco had grown to become your favourite client, you were his one and only favourite girl. It had quickly became an habit for him to pay you great amounts of money all the time, gift you small things for you to wear or have, often visit you — almost daily —, and the Argentine always had the most gentle, yet dominant treat with you; keeping the perfect balance. He had his ways of spoiling you, there was no denying about it.

Francisco paid extra money for you to give him priority over any other man, and even to spend more time with you. Though, often, you always expected him at the end of your shift; and that way, you would be with no one else after him. You could make him go bankrupt, and he wouldn’t be able to care any less. Most of his paychecks fell right into your hands, or slipped under the waistband of your underwear.

That devotion, and the constant worshipping Fran gave you, was what made you helplessly show more interest over him than over anyone else. The man knew how to make you feel special, as well as he knew the exact things you liked, and disliked.

Ever since his green eyes laid on your own, and his thin, long fingers caressed your skin for the first time, it began existing inside of him the constant struggle between feeling heavy lust, and a fervent adoration for you— hell, Fran had even grown to despise the other men trying to woo you constantly, showering you with their money whenever you pulled out a show on the pole. Could it be classified as a growing obsession? Perhaps. Did you care? Quite the contrary, you appreciated the special attention from him, and in return, you would gladly reciprocate it by serving him in any way he desired.

“Your favourite man is here,” a coworker announced quickly, with a small grin, before disappearing from sight to focus on other clients— letting the blonde haired Argentine enter the private room where you served your own exclusive clients. The mere sight of his — rather tall — presence was more than enough to lift your mood. A toothy grin was immediatly spread widely across your features.

“Hello, sweet bunny.” how come the simple sound of his loving voice was enough to make you melt? Let alone the nicknames Fran graced you with often. The sound of the blaring music coming from the speakers of the strip club became a faint background noise as you could only focus on him at the moment. The rest of your surroundings couldn’t matter less, as you approached closer to him.

“Hope you aren’t too tired for me?” you scoffed at the silly, teasing question. His arms were wrapped around your waist, immediatly pulling you against his body as tightly as possible. Your hands clawed at his clothing, encouraging him to approach the large bed with you. A smile grew wider on the corner of your lips, feeling a growing bulge on his trousers meekly poke your stomach.

How sweet it was, having him all horny and desperately needy for you already.

“I could never be tired for my favourite client.” you said, pulling his clothing towards you. “Actually, I’ve been waiting all day long for you. We shouldn’t be wasting any more time.” a satisfied smirk appeared on his thin rosy lips. Pride filled him almost immediatly at hearing those words spurring from your lips— the entirety of your being made him painfully dread his erection, strained by his pants. “No, we shouldn’t.” he retorted, quietly.

Swiftly, you managed to gently push him against the bed right behind of him. Foreplay was something you both fervently enjoyed, and often engaged in right before fucking as it made the experience more pleasurable; but at the moment, there was no need for any foreplay. There was no denying that you were equally horny for each other, all you needed was to be in the same room together for you to already grow moist and him, to grow hard.

The Argentine’s back rested against the silk sheets of the large bed, his bright green eyes admiring the way you smoothly crawled on top of him. There was no doubt about why so many men swooned right behind of you, despite the jealousy he felt for each one of them— you were such a temptress, and you were quite good at every single little thing you did.

As you leaned closer towards his face, grasping your lips against his own in a teasing manner, allowing your hot breathing to hit against his sensitive skin, you leisurely rubbed yourself against his notoriously growing bulge. The hot fabric of your underwear was moist enough for him to feel it through his still clothed erection with each friction, the same way you could already feel his precum staining his own pants.

“Please let me cum inside of you today,” he muttered in a plea against your lips, “I will pay you even more than the usual, if necessary.”

Involuntarily, his hips moved desperately against your own, as his hands firmly took hold of your waist; groaning quietly as your cunt ached to feel his cock buried inside of you already. A scoff spurred from your lips at his proposal, inevitably feeling a wave of pride at the sight of him desperately begging to fill you with his hot fluids.

“Deal.” you whispered against his lips approvingly, as a sigh of relief hit faintly against your own skin. The idea of it seemed tempting enough— after all, you had to admit the thought of having his cum oozing out of you made your underwear become wetter.

As one o your hands fervidly caressed his chest, you sat properly enough to prepare yourself to ride him. Moving your sight downwards, your hands wasted no time in unbuttoning his trousers, and immediatly lowering them. The sweet sight of his prominent erection brought pure satisfaction to you— teasingly using your fingers to slip them under the waistband of his boxers, and slowly lower them.

“I will never get tired of seeing you so desperate to bury your cock inside of me, gorgeous.” you teased, finally lowering his underwear enough for his erection to be freed from being painfully strained against the clothing, with precum already leaking from the tip. “Don’t tease, please.” he begged, observing how you removed your own panties in the slowest manner possible, only to throw them somewhere across the room and leave them long forgotten.

Widely spreading your legs, you aligned your own aching pussy with his hardened cock. Firmly brushing the entrance of your cunt against his leaking tip, lubricating it slightly with your moistness, your eyes moved their sight towards his own. “Don’t worry, my sweet love. I won’t be teasing much.” you mumbled, gasping softly as his hands held a tight grip on your waist. “I plan on fucking you until I can fully dry out your cock.”

Gently, your hips moved downwards. A groan deeply escaped from your throat as his cock began entering you. His rosy lips were partly open, allowing a satisfied gasp to escape from them as his head was thrown back— fluttering his eyes shut, his hips moved upwards while his hands guided your own to bury himself deeper. The feeling of your inner walls engulfing his own member was something Fran could never get bored of.

“Fuck,” you heard the blonde Argentine muttering. Countless of times you had him fucking you fervently in every corner of the room, in every position you could imagine— yet, every time where Fran fucked you again, it managed to be even better than the last time. Gods, your cunt felt almost like a pool from all the wetness dripping; helping him slide his cock inside you more easily, working as a lubricant.

Another groan spurred helplessly from your lips, reaching all the way down his cock, now throwing your own head back from the overwhleming wave of pleasure you received. The way you took the entirety of his shaft could be considered a grace to the sight. “You are such a fucking whore, aren’t you?” Fran remarked, beginning to slowly slide in, and out of your pussy. “Taking my cock so well, like a good slut.”

As one of his hands kept itself gripping hard from your waist, his other hand moved upwards towards one of your breasts, which moved along your own body while you rode him— lowering part of your bra to expose your tit, he took it into his hand, and began gropping it possesively as his shaft increased the pace in which it penetrated you, occasionally passing his thumb through your nipple to stimulate you further. “But you are my good slut, and no one will ever fuck you as I do.”

With each passing second, his cock began burying itself deeper and faster inside of you, provoking a fleshy sound to be hard across the room, hitting that certain soft spot that made whiny pleas escape from your lips so beautifully. His name was faintly heard under your breath, continously moaning it as your legs began trembling. Francisco knew exactly the spot where you were the most sensitive, and he would endlessly abuse it.

“Fuck—” you growled in between your teeth. Both your hands rested on his chest, seeking some sort of balance, nearly clawing at his remaining clothes, as his slick-coated cock increased the pace in which it slipped in and out of your stimulated pussy. A knot slowly formed on your stomach with the passing of the time, while your body violenty trembled. A proud grin occupied his lips at the sight of you nibbling on your lowr lip, holding back soft grunts and pants.

“Mine, all mine. Right?” he teased in between his panting, using his thumb to lazily caress your hip. “A-All yours,” you replied back weakly, helplessly allowing some slightly high-pitched whines to escape. With each hit that your inner soft spot received, the feeling of the knot increased, tightening on your stomach. This man had the ability of nearly making you melt above him with each one of his words, his groans, moans, and his actions. You were quite privileged, knowing all of his attention could only go to you.

“I-I’m about to cum,” you heard him murmur between his grunts, barely being able to mutter a coherent response due to your own mind fog from the sexual act. You could feel his cock beginning to twitch inside of you as his movements became swifter; your inner walls warmly tightening around his member.

His other hand went back again to taking hold of your hip, and you knew that from the way both hands gripped your hips to move you up and down his cock, you would have some bruises.

A wave of heat tightened your chest as your body became weaker, practically allowing Fran to move you in whichever way pleased him, while your continously dripping slick managed to coat his shaft entirely. His fingernails dug deep on your skin as his hips slightly moved upwards, and his hands forced your body all the way down his cock, keeping you still— feeling the way it violently pulsated inside of you, his cum brought a warm sensation to your stomach.

Throwing your head back as you felt the knot on your stomach abruptly untightening, while his cum simultaneously filled your insides, from your lips spurred a — rather loud — groan, deep from your throat; the same sound the Argentine made as he released his seed in you. You could get used to the pleasant feeling of his fluids staining your inner walls, thank God you had agreed to it.

While his hands firmly continued to hold your hips, allowing his head to fall against the mattress to rest, you remained quietly still on top of him, not getting off just yet. The only sound that filled the room was that of both your panting, trying to catch your breath. Your hands and legs equally trembled, feeling your heart pounding loudly against your chest.

There was no doubt Fran was your favourite client— each time he gave you a visit, you felt exhaustingly pleased. You were left needing for more, almost as if it were impossible for you to want to let him go.

Helplessly, you gently collapsed against his body. Both your arms were lazily wrapped around him, placing your head against his chest. His fluids oozed out of your pussy slowly, sliding through your inner thighs, as his cock remained buried inside of you. With one last heavy pant, his green eyes looked down at you.

One of his hands rested on your back, using his fingertips to trace mindless shapes on your skin, as his other hand went to delicately stroke your hair. “Hope you enjoyed that, mi amor?” he inquired softly, as you kept quietly panting. You scoffed in response— what a silly question, you enjoyed every single one of his frequent visits. The mere thought of not clinging to his side throughout the whole day lately seemed dreadful. “Have I ever not enjoyed anything you do to me?” you retortes playfully, earning a chuckle from him.

A brief moment of silence loomed between the two of you. Your eyes fluttered shut peacefully, enjoying how lovingly his fingers twirled strands of your hair, and caressed your head. A little smile grew back on his lips, before interrupting the silence, looking down at you, resting your gracefully delicate body against his own.

“Would you be up to a second round if I paid you extra, sweet love?”

Moving your head to stare attentively into his light green eyes, you widely grinned back. Then again, what a silly question. How could you ever deny any of his tempting proposals?

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[eldritch-spouse]

Someone who for whatever reason wants to get eaten by Vorticia and so goes to the gluttony ring hoping to find her. They by some miracle get to interact with her but when they beg her to eat them she’s like “lol no,” because it turns out they’re her match

[This is fucking hilarious. Fem reader.]

TW: Macro/micro themes; Vore.

Tightly tied to a chair, you can hear them talk behind the kitchen doors.

" You're telling me you just found this one trying to break into the premises?! " The short imp you've only caught glimpses of so far sounds exasperated.

" Yes... " The much taller demon with a dark mane replies. " She wasn't very successful, but I'm fairly certain her goal was to get caught. "

" And she said she wants to get eaten. " It's not even a question.

" By mother. Specifically her. "

There's a beat of silence.

" Vorago. You can't expect me to present a fetishist to your mother. That is ridicu- "

" Is it? I would much prefer if my meals walked directly into the plate. " The prince counters. " You're doing the poor thing a favor. I've advocated for this in the past as well, think about the time and resources we could spare during ceremonies if we take in people just like her. "

" My prince- "

" Do you like chasing after them, dad? Do you enjoy spending money on increasingly expensive hunting services? "

Dad?! That little imp? Imp-ressive.

" No, but we can't just- "

" Then give this a shot, perhaps it'll open your eyes to more sustainable alternatives. "

An unmistakable defeated sigh rings out. " ... Fine. "

You smile silently, happy that the tusked high-ranker who caught you managed to get your dream to come true. For such a scary-looking guy, he's actually not that bad.

When the doors part, your head snaps towards the curly-horned imp. They spare you a skeptical glance.

" It looks like you're getting what you want after all. "

" Yes! " The cheer is immediate and juvenile, met with a grimace.

" ... Right. " They're clearly uncomfortable. " Undress please. "

Words cannot describe how wildly your heart is beating within your ribcage.

You've been dreaming of this day ever since you discovered the nuances of your sexuality. Queen Vorticia is the most gorgeous, regal, seductive demoness to ever slither upon this galaxy and to feel the caress of her tongue would bring you to a level so beyond Nirvana that you have to contain a freakish noise of delight just thinking about it. Not that it would have escaped very fair, with the strange fruit crammed in your mouth- It's starting to hurt your jaw a little actually...

Yes, you're not the most normal of humans, but that hardly matters now.

The cart you're laid upon is wheeled towards what you assume must be the main dining hall of Gluttony's mansion. The pace is slow, the imps in charge of transporting you dare not displace a single element of your large plate's design. See, upon hearing about your situation through the curly-horned imp, the chefs present decided that it would only be fitting if you got properly and excellently decorated for the occasion.

A few of them sympathized with your situation. Few things are as romantic as loving someone so much that you would like to become a part of them, be consumed by them. One of the girls was a bit emotional hearing you talk so sweetly about the Queen. All in all, you feel lucky to have gotten this far so smoothly.

A noise from beyond crashes your train of thought.

A crash. Hissing.

The imps pushing your cart whimper and look at each other fearfully.

Ah, a tempestuous mood. You wonder what has the Queen like that.

Your chaperones slow down even more, and if you could, you'd stomp your foot on the cart to make them hurry up. You're not about to be left stranded in this hall because these cowards are doubting their life's decisions.

Finally, oh finally, you can see the tall, intricately carved doors to the dinning hall. The last room you'll ever be in, if all goes according to plan. The realization breeds a heavy feeling that causes shortness of breath in you, but for some odd reason, you have no second thoughts about any of this. More servants stand stationary, guarding the doors.

At the sight of your cart approaching, said guards hurriedly open the doors much taller than themselves, seeming frantic in the way they hurry everyone inside.

You have to strain your neck to get a good look at the scenery.

Tones of orange, red and gold shower the room, it's large enough to be mistaken for some kind of bombastic ball room- But you've done a bit of research, and you know the dinning areas are the real focus of the Gluttonous Household.

Little does it all matter. You can't bring yourself to focus on anything other than the absolutely gigantic scaled woman currently seated at a massive, tall table. Her sandy yellow scales glimmer under the jeweled chandelier's light, everything from the twin-tipped tail that lounges across the room to her drooping black robe and pupils nearly as sharp as her eyes make you want to swoon, toes curling in delight.

Queen Vorticia reaches down below, you get to watch the demoness grab a flailing, kicking man by the ankles. He's muffled just as you are, but a lot more bruised and roughed up, trying his damndest to scream past an unforgiving muffler. He knows what will happen to him the moment he's raised in the air, as do you. And there's nothing he can do but close his eyes and accept his fate when the bottomless pit that is the Queen's maw stares back.

One second of mind-numbing anticipation is all it takes, then he's gone. Dropped. Her jaw clamping the second the man was submerged. Hardly a lump forms in the column of her long throat before it's over. With neither a scream nor a whimper, his doom arrives. The Queen however, looks unsatisfied. It's almost as if she didn't even eat anything to begin with, frowning at the wall pensively.

Until the platter that man was in goes flying across the room and nearly rips a chunk out of the wall. It was so fast you barely saw the flash of gold before your human eyes.

Two of the imps escorting you scurry beneath the cart for safety.

" I trussst you've brought me ssomething worthh my time? " Her voice finally rings through.

" Y- Yes, your Majesty! " One of them is brave enough to squeak, rattling the cart and everything on it as he pulls it forward, the others sticking to the back.

You can kind of understand them. Vorticia could easily swipe a hand down and capture two or three of these imps as an appetizer.

" Then hurry! Do you wisshh me to starve here?! "

A slam of a powerful fist causes the ground to quake.

" Never, my Queen! "

In a blink, your platter not only lifted off the cart but rushed onto the table, quickly turned and pushed to be in front of the demonlord herself. You almost get dizzy from all the jostling, and as your vision settles, you see the Queen wordlessly wave before scrambling steps follow. The servants nearly trample each other to leave the room alive.

You don't even look their way.

You can only bore holes into the gorgeous woman before you.

Vorticia raises a brow ridge, humming.

When a single claw descends, you imagine she'll slice your skin, peel you like an apple or go for your innards first. Instead, she stabs a tomato next to your waist and brings it to her lips, tongue roping it inside in a blink.

You're sure she can hear your poor heart thunder in its fickle confines.

" You mussst be the human they mentioned earlier. "

You blink.

" Pretty thhhing, wantss to be my dinner... " She nearly purrs, making something stir low in your belly.

At the way you attempt to frantically nod, she actually cracks a smile, incredulous. Although the hunger you've always yearned for resides in her thin eyes, there's also a hint of genuine curiosity you wouldn't typically see in the gaze of such a predator.

" Hmph. Well I hardly buy it. "

" MmMMF! " Even if you had something eloquent to counter with, muffled grunts are all you manage.

" Don't mumble, it'sss rude. "

She begins flirting with the decorations on your platter again. Every single time, you study the movements of her calloused, scaled hands as they move, waiting for the cut that never comes, the grip that never follows, she simply steals bits and pieces of vegetables and frivolous dressing. You're almost offended for a second. But... The anticipation is actually causing some curious effects in you.

In a way, every single time her claws scheme the platter, brushing over the bare skin of your legs and tickling your sides briefly before retreating with a slice of fruit or veggie, she's playing with you. Having her fun, as both an apex predator and a teasing mistress. Fear mingles with sparks of arousal you've poorly contained thus far, creating a fire that has you sweating under her serpentine gaze.

" You're almossst too cute to eat. " She chuckles eventually. Something wooshes nearby, it takes you a moment to notice it's her large tail.

You notice, rather belatedly, that there's no one else in the room but you and Vorticia, and a suspenseful quiet has fallen between you. You could not have asked for a better environment. It feels as if you're both sharing a very intimate, sacred moment.

The next time her hand dips, instead of skirting around the main course, she tip taps her way up your trembling figure and circles a long claw under the swell of your breast, watching you shiver attentively before edging the decorative leaf covering it. A more than pert nipple catches on her sharp extremity, and she uses a thumb to flick it idly, casually, head tilting at the way you squirm and exhale through your nostrils.

Your other breast is easily uncovered as well. The Queen betrays nothing in her expression when she grabs a piece of bread and soaks it in the condiment that coats your skin, dragging it upwards, swirling it around one of your tits before eagerly devouring it.

This is repeated enough times to drive you a little stupid with want, groaning miserably when she merely teases your tits and continues to torture you with featherlite caresses.

The sweet torture continues when she takes care of the rolls covering your spread legs, watching the shameful state you're in become more and more noticeable. Your cunt flutters beneath her mere stare.

" Ssstrange, I've yet to cut you, and you're already dripping. "

You'd shake your head in denial if you weren't able to feel your own soaked folds right now.

She has the mind-numbingly erotic audacity to grab another useless vegetable decoration and generously coat it in your wetness. The rounded tip of whatever she's pressing against your womanhood bumps your clit. She swirls it intentionally, tapping it down and circling the nub with enough pressure that you strain against your binds and whine behind the gag, wanting to beg her for more yet only drooling pointlessly.

She makes a noise like an amused snort, and when you toss your head back, you can hear her practically slurp the thing for all the flavor it has, her thumb replacing the vegetable and leisurely keeping you stimulated.

When you're able to look back, her pupils have blown wide, the black nearly drowning her acidic sclera.

" To thhhink that, ssomehow, suchh a preciouss gift would fall upon my table... Withhout notice... "

Even if you're loving the attention, heating up like a small fire -Probably enough to cook the ingredients around you- You could never have guessed the Queen would take such an intense liking to you. It feels like a dream.

" Do you wisssh to be eaten, my sssweet morssel? " She curves, shadowing you, strings of drool falling onto your neck and chest.

Her hues acquire a nearly hypnotizing quality, prohibiting you from glancing away while she toys with you. All you can respond with is frantic, vapid nodding while you grind yourself down on her finger like a mutt.

" Truly? "

" MMMhmnn!! "

Not even the gag could have curbed that whorish bleating.

" Then I will. " Vorticia grins wide enough to crinkle the edges of her eyes. " Tonight. In my chambersss. Your wissh comess true, in a way. "

You're not given enough time to rationalize anything before her touch vanishes, leaving you cold and miserable. The snaps of the Queen's fingers attract the same imp you met when this all began.

They look at you with a mixture of confusion and mild caution. " You called, Highness? "

" Yess. Run a bathh for me and my Queen to be. "

He coughs and chokes.

When your head snaps to Queen Vorticia, you find no hint of mockery on her face.

You're fairly certain one of the sauces you were doused in must be causing you to hallucinate...

[skyfallscotland]

Twisted Love, by Ana Huang 📷

“I never claimed to be Prince Charming, and my love isn’t a fairy-tale type of love. I’m a fucked-up person with fucked-up morals. I won’t write you poems or serenade you beneath the moonlight. But you are the only woman I have eyes for."

I was so close to DNF'ing this, and honestly, I hate-read my way to the end. It's a shame really, because I feel like Huang isn't a bad writer per se, but her characters are completely intolerable (to me) and she needed to make better choices about what was included in this book.

Firstly, this book has every trope you could possibly imagine and I am not exaggerating. This is every wattpad story ever written crammed into one (too long tbh) book. Brother's best friend, grumpy-sunshine, billionaire CEO who doesn't like anyone else, crazy ex-boyfriend, one bed, family members out for your money, family members who wanted to kill you, oh shit actually you're adopted—everything. EVERYTHING. It's too much.

And even if we put that aside...let's move onto the characters.

Ava: the girl with so much trauma she has night terrors and a mysterious past she can't remember, whose father acts like he hates her, whose ex stalks and manhandles her, and oh yeah, she's SO nice and SO happy and just the BEST PERSON EVER all the fucking time, because none of that affected her. At all. ✔️ Check.

Alex: What isn't Alex Volkov? No seriously, what can't he do? And that's not a compliment.

He drove the same way he walked, talked, and breathed—steady and controlled, with an undercurrent of danger warning those foolish enough to contemplate crossing him that doing so would be their death sentence.

Alex’s parents had died when he was young and left him a pile of money he’d quadrupled the value of when he came into his inheritance at age eighteen. Not that he’d needed it, because he’d invented a new financial modeling software in high school that made him a multimillionaire before he could vote. With an IQ of 160, Alex Volkov was a genius, or close to it. He was the only person in Thayer’s history to complete its five-year joint undergrad/ MBA program in three years, and at age twenty-six, he was the COO of one of the most successful real estate development companies in the country. He was a legend, and he knew it.

“I’m not bragging. I have hyperthymesia, or HSAM. Highly superior autobiographical memory. Look it up.”

Stop. Please, I'm begging you.

And if you thought that might have just been her thoughts about him, well...

I didn’t do sweet nothings or lovemaking. I fucked a certain way, and only a specific type of woman was into that shit. Not hard-core BDSM, but not soft. No kissing, no face-to-face contact. Women agreed, then tried to change it up halfway through, after which I’d stop and show them the door.

You like to take a woman from behind and throw in some dirty talk and degradation babe, it's really not that deep 🥴

It's giving ✨i'm not like other guys✨

So anyway after we filter through at least 3178920 predictable plots and sideplots and just sideways journeys that didn't really need to be in here, finally we get to a third-act breakup (his choice) after which he decides he doesn't like (his choice) and decides to stalk her. For over a year.

“I’ll file a restraining order against you. Have you arrested for stalking.” “You can try, but I can’t guarantee my friends in the British government will comply.” His face darkened. “And if you think I’m leaving you alone and unprotected anywhere, you don’t know me at all.”

Ummm bro, the only danger to her here is you, are you kidding me? And sunny old Ava who was literally stalked by her last boyfriend (and it was a whole damn plot point) is like you know what, I love this guy who's stalking me! I'll give him another chance! Sure!

But wait, wait, wait, only after he serenades her with a love song. I'm not kidding. Oh, and you guessed it—voice of an angel, because there's nothing Alex Volkov can't do.

Personally I feel like ten years have passed since I picked up this book yesterday and some chick was stranded in the rain on the side of the road.

Also, minus ten points for

thick, and hard as a steel pipe—

Just...no. Just no.

I'd love to have something more positive to say but I really don't have anything. The side characters were more tolerable than the main characters and that's the only reason I'm wondering if I should subject myself to the next book in the series, but honestly? I really don't think I can. I wish I'd picked up one of the fanfics on my TBR instead 😶

[s1llyalabaster]

Gambling on love - Sampo Koski

Where the mischevious dealer takes a gamble on the chances of winning your heart (but you, being too drunk, doesn't notice it) ~500 words, SFW but implications of intimacy

“Oh , come on! There’s no way I went over 21 with just three cards!” 

You couldn’t even count the number of Blackjack rounds you’d had this night with two hands. Pouches upon pouches of Aideen Tokens were tossed away just from one night of gambling and… way too much alcohol than you should be drinking.

“For me to go easy on you, you’ll have to pay a little somethin’ somethin’ extra, yknow?” 

Oh, Sampo Koski. The dealer who seems to have a lucky charm (or rather, a curse to players) on him at all times. Some people say he uses “black magic” to win every time, while others just think it’s sheer luck. You, however, seem to be extra unlucky when he’s the dealer. 

“Uuuugh! How come it’s always YOU that I lose to?” You growled, the shots of alcohol making you unaware that your voice was almost loud enough to surpass the Dreamscape and into the real world. Sampo smirked, eyes lidded with smugness as he lifted your chin for your eyes to meet his. 

“Only one little gemstone has gambled away his life and gave me a good run for MY own money, dear player. You’d better put out lots more effort to even be on par with him. Or…”

“Unless you beg.”

Maybe it was the alcohol that made you be bolder than ever, but your half-conscious self decided to follow his orders. Sampo watched as both of your knees hit the carpeted floor of the casino, slightly showing off your cleavage. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, no. His prideful gaze was replaced with that of lust. But no, you were too drunk to give consent to actually do…something else with him. Sampo didn’t even know if it was the alcohol talking or not, or if future him was just going to be a one-night-stand. 

“You…”

Sampo couldn’t form a word. He’d probably been staring at you for minutes on end. He grasped your hand and brushed his lips across your knuckles, then proceeded to trace the faint lines of your palms with his slim fingers, calloused from handling casino chips and other…dirty business. 

“Whew… it sure is getting hot in here,” Sampo unbuttoned his shirt, letting his waistcoat and harness free. You looked up at him with glossy eyes, dazed from the alcohol and the sight before you. The mischievous man grinned once he caught your gaze, gripping your arm and throwing it over his shoulder to allow his strong arms to carry you. 

You felt your body slowly land on the velvet couch in one of the rooms in The Reverie. It was intoxicating how Sampo treated you like you were a doll, handling you delicately with his hands touching you ever-so-softly. 

“Don’t go…” you murmured. 

“Oh, I’ll be here with you, darling. ‘Till the end of time.” 

A/N: The "gemstone" referred was Aventurine, in case you guys didn't catch on~

[wilderness-of-thoughts]

Before:

You should be asleep. You should be rolling over right now, drooling on your pillow, dreaming of a romantic evening with some hot alpha male from a webtoon, and quietly farting (with glitter and rainbows, of course). But no. Of course not. Not when Satoru Gojo has a drama moment and demands an explanation from you.

"Gojo, I beg you, have mercy. We get up in the morning." You grumble, Gojo was just standing astride your sternum dressed in a pink nightgown. You both pretend not to see the little fashion show that Satoru is putting on for you. He has to try on all the doll clothes that will fit him. Women's, men's, unisex, classic, normal, festive or fancy - he has to try them all.

“You have a boyfriend?” His tone was like a parent who had caught his child smoking.

"Nooooo? I guess? It's complicated. Although I think he's already my fiancé." You frowned, thinking that this answer would calm him down, you simply closed your eyes.

Gojo felt his legs give way under his weight. In order not to show it, he simply sat cross-legged on your breastbone. Somewhere in the background, far, far away, he heard his tiny little heart breaking. He didn't know why. He didn't understand. When others said they were seeing someone, he didn't give a damn; when his sex friends said they were ending things because they were getting into a relationship, he responded with a shrug.

"Do you love him...?" He asked quietly, not looking at your face. He was afraid of the answer, but his ego effectively suppressed that fear.

"Hmm.... No." You replied firmly almost immediately. The vague constriction in his throat disappeared as soon as he removed his hand, and his heart began to beat more calmly. Why? Feeling his unspoken question, you sighed. You felt the light weight of his body against your chest. "Before you ask, I've known him for years. We met on some now-defunct manga-fucker forum. We share common interests and general clumsiness in life." You smiled to yourself. "we slept together a few times and stuff."

"Is he good?"

"He is nice, helpful..."

"in bed."

"Oh... Um... I don't know?" You blushed slightly.

".... What do you mean you don't know?"

"eh heh... You know.... I get more aroused reading fanfiction and watching hentai than... I mean, it's not bad... Is it normal? Ordinary? Without fireworks?" Gojo looked at you as if you were speaking to him in a forgotten dialect of ancient Aramaic. You watched him as he sat between your breasts on the print of the T-shirt you were sleeping in, with a serious expression on his face. "Sex in a relationship is not everything and that's something you should know best. For you guys it's more like a biological need."

"And fun."

"Okay, and fun" You smiled slightly. This was the first time you had this kind of conversation with Gojo, or with anyone really. You didn't have many real-world friends that weren't somehow related to jujutsu.

"Why don't you know if you're his fiancée?" Satoru asked further, being unsure whether one is in a relationship or not is something he has encountered in his life. More times than he would admit. Women often conflated sex with a relationship and he was introduced as a "partner" without even knowing it. So yeah. Gojo understands that you might not be sure.

"About half a year ago he proposed to me with a KFC set. I will never say no to food. I treated the proposal as a joke and ate the chicken. But ever since then, um... His mother asks about grandchildren, his grandmother tells how much money she has set aside for him, and he says something about a prenuptial agreement." You were now looking at Gojo as if he could explain your maybe-boyfriend's behavior.

Gojo didn't know what to say. He wanted to laugh, but at the same time he was so shocked that he could only look at you in equal consternation. If this guy took your "yes" seriously, it was the laziest proposal in the history of mankind. You deserved more. A perfect sunset, a violinist, roses, candles, a week-long spa. Gojo may have been a little romantic, but only a little. At least that was in the movies he watched because what does he know about true love? He would sooner sink into the ground than propose to you with a KFC nugget.

"Have you talked to him about this?"

"Yes?" Seeing his look you continued, "He said he was serious."

...Oh.

"Did you correct him?"

"um..." So no.

"Why?"

"do I have to answer?" You have to. You sighed heavily and hid your eyes behind your hand feeling the sleepiness demanding that you go to sleep. But you knew that Gojo wouldn't let you. "I assume that we are all alone. You are born alone, you die alone, no one will live your life for you. You are alone in the bag of bones that is your body. Precisely because, at a fundamental level, we are all alone, people seek others. Some people pair up, others join groups, associations, sects. They look for answers in religion, science. And the truth is that.. we are alone. All together we are alone."

Gojo could write a doctorate with distinction on loneliness. From his perspective, at the top you are alone, while the others were together. But when you told him that everyone is alone at the bottom... Paradoxically, he felt less lonely.

"But I wouldn't mind being alone with you." You mumbled, placing your hand on his. Gojo practically clung to it, craving your touch, your warmth, your body. He was now lying on your sternum. He felt your heartbeat beneath, your warm breath moving the strands of his hair. His cat tail curled around your ring finger.

In addition to the determination to return to his normal size, another feeling appeared in his little heart. Treat this lame guy with Purple. Then buy you a kids' set at McDonald's.

He dreamed he was kneeling before you at an anime convention, you were wearing a sexy version of Agumon's outfit. You agree.

It was one of the few beautiful dreams he had recently.

Next:

[jasminestoleyoman]

head cannons for everyone and anything 😝

JESS MARIANO (MODERN AU) : spent his birthday money on a Bluetooth headphones because his old wired ones only worked when you twisted the wire a certain way and he wasn’t messing with that.

DAIKI AOMINE : got his ears pierced after he slept with a girl who said that guys with piercings were super hot but aomine would never admit that getting his ears pierced hurt like a mother fucker.

KOSHI SUGAWARA : when teacher suga is talking to his class about why it’s important to keep trying no matter how hard it gets he always uses tanaka and kiyoko as an example. “one of my friends kept getting turned down by the woman of his dreams and now they’re married! do you know why boys and girls? because he never gave up and he always tried his best to impress her and be the best version of him he could be!”

JASON TODD : loves when his friends cancel plans. like he’s ready to go and his friend calls saying that they can’t make it and he’s all “really? what a shame..guess we’ll have to reschedule!” as he’s putting his pajamas back on and putting on a face mask and like lighting his little scented candles.

ARAN OJIRO + MIYA TWINS : before aran’s first day as a second year he found out the weird twins from volleyball camp were also going to his school as first years and had a mental breakdown like he was crying so bad “mom please! they’re so weird!” but when the twins found out aran went to their school too they were so excited because he was the only upperclassmen they liked and knew at the time.

TETSURO KUROO + KENMA KOZUME : after the first tokyo training camp with like fukurodani and the other schools kuroo was soo pissed off with kenma because outside of club time kenma would never ever talk about volleyball or other players but after the training camp all he could talk about was “oh-shoyo just text they beat seijoh and they’re going on to play shiratorizawa..” or “shoyo just sent over karasunos training regimen..” or like “shoyo hasn’t text me in a week I wonder if he’s okay?” LIKE KUROO WAS SO PISSED! He was all “so how’s your new best friend shoyo?” and he’d be so snarky and petty about it too 😭😭

BRUCE WAYNE + BAT FAM : bruce has a different playlist for each of his kids. like there’s one for everyone even alfred. but he would never let anyone know that he secretly likes a few of the songs and makes his own playlist. like his music taste is a combination of all of kids music tastes. i just know that he lowkey vibes with chapell roan.

ATSUSHI MURASAKIBARA : his mother fucker is so fucking picky when it comes to like proper meals. when he’s snacking on random stuff he doesn’t care at all he’ll eat whatever. but when it’s a sit down proper meal? he’s a whiny picky bitch. “ew his broccolis gross and limp..can’t I have a bag of chips instead?”

KEN SATO : he’s such like a baseball nerd. he collects those little card things with baseball players on and when he meets them he asks them to sign it and he gets like so excited when there’s one he doesn’t have. “mina could you please put this one with the signed cards-and make sure you put it in the protective plastic okay?” “yes ken i’ll be very careful”

RIN MATSUOKA : rin could care less about sweets and candies so he never understood why gou or his friends would beg him to get bring them back some sweets from australia. until he had a tim tam milkshake.he was hooked. every day after school rin would go swim and go straight to his nearest cafe or diner and grab a tim tam milkshake (a/n as someone who has enjoyed many a tim tam milkshake this is so real)

TADASHI YAMAGUCHI + TSUKISHIMA KEI : yamaguchi’s VA once said that the only reason yamaguchi ‘s favorite food is soft fries is because tsukki eats all the crispy fries and gives his left overs o yamaguchi 😭😭

LOGAN HUNTZBERGER : got drunk and almost got a Jacobs ladder piercing but then got told what it was and broke down crying because he said he didn’t want to “damage the goods”

the end lol

MORE TO COME BUT I COULDNT THINK OF ANY MORE I NEED SUGGESTIONS PLEASE

[stargazedwinchester]

Stanford ♡ Sam Part 2

Summary: You go to the Christmas Markets with Sam.

Word Count: 1,009

Part 1 here

Merry Christmas guys! Hope you all have a lovely time with family and loved ones <3 Next imagine will be posted next Wednesday, restarting the schedule so everything will be as is!

For those who don't know, there'll be a post every Wednesday and Saturday 12:30PM GMT starting 1st January. This one is a one-off due to it being Christmas <3

Sam had decided to take you to a quaint little coffee shop near campus. You thought a simple idea like this would make a cute first date, despite meeting him only a few hours ago. The small window panes had a criss-cross pattern, matching with the glass on the front door. People were situated inside and the looks on their faces tell that they were content and the atmosphere was warm and inviting. Warm yellow fairy lights strung up sitting along the frame of the window.

The pair of you took a seat inside, the quiet bustle of the workers talking with each other and customers sharing laughter. You sit down opposite him, and he smiles at you. He places his coat on the back of the chair, still standing up. “It’s on me,” He smirked, a dimple complimenting his gorgeous features. “Are you sure? I can-”

“No. Let me pay.” He insisted, then he paused.

“Please.” He smiled again, and you nodded. “Okay.” You let him know your order and he brings back the drinks from the counter.

Sam sat down opposite you, sliding your drink across to you.

Little did you know this was the start of something new.

Yourself and Sam have been seeing each other for over a year. You had quickly become best friends and did everything together.

It’s December, and you had begged Sam to take you to the Christmas Markets in town, so you can show him what he’s been missing out on his entire childhood.

When you arrived at the markets, you realised that it was swamped with people who had the same idea. You both reach an older man’s stall amidst the crowd. He’s wearing a red patterned bobble hat, a dark blue gilet with a white and grey Christmas themed jumper underneath with some jeans. You take a gander at his drawings, many ranging from nature, to pets and family. “Good morning guys,” He greets, stepping aside so you can get a proper view of his work. “These are really nice drawings,” you hush, taking in the commitment he has clearly put into every one of these. “I do commissions. If you give me around an hour, I can draw you both right now.” He says, you and Sam look at each other. You both agree to let him take a picture of you both and for him to draw you.

“You look like a lovely couple,” he starts. “How long have you been together?” He questions, sorting through his pencils and finding the right size paper. Sam chuckles nervously. You attempt to avoid both of their eyes. You pause. “Uh, we’re not dating.” You hesitate.

“We’re just friends.”

“Yeah.”

The guy turns around and looks at you both, then laughs heartily. “Sure don’t look like it,” he starts, then picks up a digital camera. Sam’s arm wraps around your waist, and he leans into you. You both smile whilst he snaps a picture to work from.

“Thank you. Please come back in an hour. It will be ready for you.” He grins warmly at you as you both walk away.

Sam decided he wanted to go to the hot chocolate stall, since there weren’t many people waiting in queue, meaning you could spend more time enjoying the markets than wasting time waiting.

Ever since you both are glued at the hip with one another, Sam has never allowed you to pay for anything. You did find it was an annoyance as you wanted some independence when it came to money, but it was Sam’s way of showing he wanted to take care of you. In that way, it’s sweet. Nurturing. You had no idea where all this money came from but Sam is a stable, caring guy, so you know you’re safe with him.

Sam passed you a red thermal paper cup with steaming, thick hot chocolate. Cream floats on top with a few marshmallows. Three pink and two white. He takes a sip of his drink and you do the same. Sam looks around, admiring the handiwork of the lights that are on metal frames hanging between buildings. One has two reindeer on either side, with a present in between them. Red and gold flash slowly within the present, and the cool white reindeer compliments it.

Whilst Sam looks around, you’re looking at him. As the light reflects in his eyes, you can tell he’s finally content. When he took you on the date to the coffee shop, you had got to know the basics of each other, then into the nitty-gritty of Sam’s traumatic childhood and the reason why he enrolled in college. You knew all about his father, John, and his brother, Dean. You didn’t want to ask much about his mother, as this was already a touchy subject for him. He admitted that all of this wasn’t too challenging for him, but more-so for Dean. Dean always had Sam’s back growing up, except from his father. This is where Sam and Dean bumped heads quite a lot because he ‘respected his father more’. Sam never believed it.

Sam catches your eyes, then leading down to your lips. You grin, holding the eye contact with him. You reach up, kissing him on the lips. Sam’s surprised that you took the jump, as he was about to do the same thing. He raises his hands and cups your face, keeping you close. He then moves his hands down to your waist. You pull away. He looks down at you. Delicate, fluffy snowflakes fall from the sky gently, some flakes sticking to the top of his head.

“I wanna ask you something,” He asks, still smiling down at you.

“The answer’s yes.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask!” He exclaims, laughing at your reaction. “I do, and the answer is yes.” You reply, joining in with the laughter.

Sam leans in and kisses you on the forehead, embracing you in a hug. He then pulls away, placing a passionate, longing kiss on your lips.

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

“I Love Taking Risks”

Returning for the second season of his hit comedy series Our Flag Means Death this month, Rhys Darby chats to us about becoming ‘The Gentleman Pirate’.

It was the surprise hit of 2022 no-one had on their bingo card. Loosely based on the real-life exploits of Stede ‘The Gentleman Pirate’ Bonnet (Rhys Darby), Our Flag Means Death tells the hilarious and heartfelt story of the wealthy Barbadian landowner who gave it all up for life as a pirate in the 1700s.

After encountering the actually not-so-terrifying Blackbeard (Taika Waititi) of legend, who teaches him how to be a fearsome pirate – to little effect – in exchange for wisdom about the finer things in life, the two formed an unexpected romantic connection.

Of course, with the first season ending with the pair sadly going their separate ways, creator and writer David Jenkins previews things will be challenging for our star-crossed lovers in season two: “I think [we’ll be] watching… both reorient themselves. This is their first love… You’re rocked when that happens. You go into a crisis.” With the second season premiering this month, picking up a short time after the first, Darby sat down with FOXTEL magazine to give us the lowdown.

What’s your take on ‘The Gentleman Pirate’?

It’s an interesting role because this is a guy who has a midlife crisis, leaves his wife and kids, just runs out in the middle of the night and creates a pirate crew, heads off into the sunset. And in order to sort of get to grips with who would do that, you need to have someone play the role that you’ve got to root for but, at the same time, you go, ‘Is he crazy? Why has he done this? Does he not love his wife and kids?’ So, you know, I did a bit of reading about him and tried to get into that mindset as to why he would do such a thing. And I think what I got to was just midlife crisis and boredom, and he had the wealth to change his life.

Are you a risk-taker yourself?

I love taking risks; I could drop everything and suddenly fly to Mars, but I’d be sitting in the spaceship before launch and thinking about my kids and I would have opened the door and run back to them.

So there was something there, some deep-seated darkness in his soul that led him to that point. He’s a complicated guy. I’m glad I had to rise to the challenge and try to pull that off.

Will Stede ever be respected by his crew, do you think?

Yes. I think he will be. People did respect him eventually because he did become a decent pirate. If you look in the annals of the pirates and all the booty they took, there’s lists of who did the best and all that kind of stuff, and Stede’s up there.

Do you think he had any regrets about choosing that life in the end?

That’s a good question. If I was to guess I would say no, because he wanted the adventure. He regretted, in the end, not taking the pardon when he could have – the King put out a pardon and he said, ‘If any of you pirates come in and drop your swords now, you’ll be spared.’ A lot of them did sign that they would do it and then just went back to pirating.

Even in the end, Stede tried to get out of it – he really begged and pleaded and wrote letters to the King saying, ‘Please, I’ll do anything.’ But they wanted to make an example of him: it doesn’t matter how wealthy you are, you do what you did, you’re gonna hang. So they got him in the end. But they won’t get me!

You seem to have a knack for picking great roles. What does your process entail?

Yeah, it depends what you’re doing. You know, I’m not at a point where offers are rolling in left, right and centre. So you still do things because you need the money. But I’ve been lucky that my uniqueness has only really gifted me roles that suit me, for the most part. Usually they’re smaller roles and I do a lot of guest starring on comedy shows. Also, I have been lucky enough to do a lot of voicework through various animation channels and video games and things.

A few years ago, people started to realise that, and it’s through working with Taika and a few others in the comedy industry, that if you’re going to hire me, he’s going to give you a bit more than what’s on the paper. And he’s going to do it in his manner and his way, and that’s what you’re sort of paying for.

And so that meant that I wouldn’t get a lot of roles, but the ones that I did do, I would always shine in. So thank you, universe, for giving me anything.

Source: Foxtel Magazine Australia (October issue)

[csuitebitches]

By your prior response, it seems like you believe in 50/50. Generally speaking, not everyone is willing to be in a relationship where the man is providing 100% of the bills but I followed you because I thought that was your view. A feminine high value woman bring with a man who provides 100% of the bills. Not a girlfriend but a wife who depends on her husband however, she still has her own. Her husband gives her the option whether she wants to work or not, she lives a life of leisure and luxury. Has her own personal savings account etc. Idk I thought you had a different mindset when it came to finances in a relationship.

Firstly, I don’t keep my blog active for the follower count. I began CSB to keep a track of everything I’ve personally learned over the years. My content is also mostly about productivity and self growth. I very rarely discuss love and relationships on here and only if I ever feel like it. You may unfollow me if you feel that my content doesn’t resonate with you!

I don’t, in fact, believe in 50-50. My family allows me to believe the same as well. However, my background and birth circumstances are different. Even if a man decides to provide for me and I let him, I can leave at any point because my family would 100% step in and financially and legally support me at any time - not everyone has that privilege unfortunately. Most people’s lives and realities are not the same. I cannot advise my followers based on just my own background because that would be irresponsible of me.

I never said that a man should absolutely never provide for you. I said it’s difficult for most people to not have a dual income household in this economy. I’ve already mentioned that my partner himself doesn’t let me pick up the bill. I further said that you should be able to have enough money on you in case you need to leave for whatever reason and that the reality is, most of you guys are not going to find some billionaire lovesick man who’s going to hand you his Amex card on the third day of you guys meeting. And yes. You NEED to contribute to any relationship to make it work and finance isn’t the only way. Even if your man tells you to stay at home, you’re still going to be expected to contribute one way or the other. You cannot have it all.

There are enough crazy stories out there about financial abuse. There needs to be a certain amount of time + emotional intimacy + rationality involved in order for a man to provide for you. The reality is that today’s economy is not suited for everyone. Gone are the days where $100 could be stretched to every cent and you could live a decent life on it. If a man can give you the option to work, he can also switch up at any point and take back that option. Would you be ready for a switch like that? Would your past grades, work experience, etc still be relevant? What if you decide to leave him - are you in the position to?

You can do what you like in your personal life because it doesn’t concern me. But if you genuinely think that a man is going to happily and blindly start providing for you from the first date without any sort of expectation from you - I implore you to understand that real life and tumblr hypergamy don’t always intersect.

Half of your mindsets have been screwed by these so-called tumblr hypergamy blogs, with all honesty. It’s also partly bullshit and partly very culture dependent. Most eastern cultures are hypergamous BUT there is a strong family value system, there are strings attached, and a strong cultural influence, divorce is looked down upon, you’re expected to stay with your husband through all the bullshit, you’re expected to compromise at any point and a lot more for your husband; there are expectations from both the partners. I remember coming across a blog of a girl who was this “hypergamy queen” only for her to disclose she was in fact, broke, and start begging for tips from her tumblr followers. I don’t think half of you guys even understand the reality of being financially provided for.

[theficpusher]

gotta catch 'em all. | nr | 957 harry takes louis on a pokemon adventure he won't forget.

Gotta Catch 'Em All by punchmelarry | G | 2259 Louis and Harry are distracted by Pokemon Go, just like everyone else. Louis can't believe how little Harry knows about Pokemon, and Harry can't believe how pretty Louis is.

You Teach Me (And I'll Teach You) by teaandtumblr | G | 3615 Zayn is a librarian who takes pride in the Pokemon Gym that is his workplace. That is, until a certain someone starts making a habit of winning it off him every damn day.

Give Me All Of Your Pokèballs by WritingProseAnythingGoes | T | 5309 "What do you mean by 'my house is on a PokeStop'? No, you cannot come in. I don't know who you are. Now please get off my property." Louis bit his lip in frustration. This dude's house was the closest PokeStop he could find and he wouldn't let him even stand close enough to get more balls. "C'mon, please? I can show you how to play too, you'd like it, especially because your house is dead center with the only PokeStop for miles." Louis begged. The guy narrowed his eyes to slits, scrutinizing Louis closely. "How do I know you aren't gonna murder me or some shit?" Louis sighed plaintively. "Seriously, dude, just let me stand in your living room for ten minutes. I won't even move, I'll just stand there, but I swear to God I'm not gonna murder you. Please." or, a short fic where Louis and Harry fall in love because Pokemon Go is a thing.

Of Thunder and Lightning [series] by gmartini | T | 5598 More than just the Pokémon spark up the battlefield when Niall Squared end up in the Pokemon League Championship match.

Take Me To Your Heart by dinosaursmate | E | 6112 Harry blinked at him for a second, and shit, they made eye contact. “Never gonna give, never gonna give…” the man sang, pointing at Harry to sing the next line. “Come on, curly!” Harry wasn’t sure whether or not to indulge him. He just wanted to go back to sleep, but he knew from experience that sometimes, ignoring lively drunks did not make the problem go away. “Give you up.” Harry replied, before laying his head back against the window and closing his eyes. “Yeah!” The man cried, and to Harry’s despair he sat down next to him. “Had a good night?” “I’ve been working.” Harry mumbled, eyes still closed. “Oh. I’ve got a few days off at the moment, so just been out with my mates. I’m Louis, by the way.” --- London Night Bus AU where all Harry wants to do is sleep, but he has a drunk man singing at him.

here's to never growing up by weddingbells | M | 8195 Every year a ship leaves for Slateport City, Hoenn, carrying excited trainers and Pokémon ready for a new world. Louis Tomlinson hopes to be one of them. He just didn't expect the adventure to start as soon as he gets on that ship, but it does.

pokémon au [series] by dearmrsawyer | G | 22177 Harry gets a part-time job at the Pewter City Pokemon Centre to earn some money for his travels and Louis could not be less thrilled. A Pokemon AU featuring OT5 friendship, the ethics of Pokemon training, and a few possible extra-terrestrials.

Just Me, Him, and the Sun and Moon by SadaVeniren | M | 45502 Alola!! You have formally been chosen to participate in the FIRST EVER Pokemon World Championship Tournament. We have not made this selection lightly and have weighed your many years as a master pokemon trainer and pokemon friend in our decision to extend this offer to you! We hope that you will accept our offer and join us at the Hano Grand Resort on Akala Island! The tournament will take place starting on May 15, but we request that you join us on May 13 to partake in an opening ceremony. The tournament will last two weeks, and accommodations will be provided for you and your pokemon, but transportation to the island will not (so bring a flying type!) We hope you join us!! Professor Kukui --- AKA a gratuitous Pokemon AU featuring farmer!harry, professor!louis, paradise, pokemon battles, love, and the fate of the world