#before i got my new job there was no way we'd ever really be able to move even with 2 salaries

[thedeviljudges]

got approved for a rental house and will finally be able to move out of this god awful apartment, but the whole process makes me so angry. like moving costs alone are expensive but it’s also all of the unnecessary added fees they tack on. the concert ticket thing is the big discussion but housing application fees? convenience fees for processing a card? like anything extra they can squeeze out of you on top of too expensive rent it’s fucking insane. people can barely (not really) even afford 3x rent, and it’s getting to the point that you need three incomes just to afford one place. like this whole process has made me so angry, and i’ve been angry about it for a long time, of course. but also just looking around and seeing just how many houses are for rent, that aren’t going toward families bc these investors and venture capitalists continue to buy up houses. i genuinely want to know how any of this is going to be sustainable, even within the next three-to-five years.

[my-own-walker]

requesting kit with younger reader, where he picks her up from college and takes her for a milkshake but then they have sex in his car and after he has to drop her down the street because her parents don’t approve of him

Oh! You Pretty Things

note: this is cuteeeeee. thanks for the spicy kit request. i was getting bored of writing inside-the-asylum kit hehe

warnings: sm*t, p in v, oral m receiving, teasing, cursing, kinda overstim, not really tho

+++

The second hand moved so slowly on the clock, I thought it might be broken. Class always went slower when I knew I’d be seeing Kit afterward. Thursdays were our day.

My parents didn’t know. They hated the idea of me being distracted from my studies by some silly boy. I was, in fact, sticking my neck out by going to college as a woman, so I had to succeed. But, the new decade called for liberation for us women. I was proving a point by being able to date and do well in school.

I digress. I met Kit after my father's car got a flat. He showed up in his tow truck to save the day.

'Scummy, those mechanics,' my father quipped as we drove away.

I walked to the gas station Kit said he worked at the next day, set on getting him to ask me on a date.

We'd been secretly meeting up for dates ever since. He'd come to pick me up after my last class of the day every Thursday and take me out somewhere. I could, at times, sneak away to see Kit on other days of the week, but Thursdays were a set date. My mother and father had no idea. They thought I would stay late to study.

In my daydreaming daze, I almost didn't notice my classmates getting up to leave. I gathered my things hastily and rushed out of the room and into the bright daylight of the afternoon. The sun's light on the pavement was nearly blinding. I shaded my eyes with my hand as I walked to the curb, looking desperately for Kit's car.

Within seconds, his shiny black car came slowly up to the side of the street.

'Hey, pretty thing! You goin' my way, doll?' he called out of his window, acting as if he were a creepy stranger. I giggled and got into the passenger's side.

'You have no idea how nice it feels to do this,' I sighed, kicking my shoes off as Kit drove off.

'Rough day, beautiful?' He wore his work uniform. Some jeans, a white undershirt, and his button-up with his name on it. His hair was perfectly tousled, and the shirt was unbuttoned so that part of the white undergarment was showing. He looked soft and warm, and his smile lit up his eyes.

'Just a very long one, and I'm starving.'' I said, drawing out the word 'very.' I flipped down the visor and slid open the mirror, smoothing my hair and fixing the line of my lipstick while regarding my reflection. I pulled the tube of peach lipstick out of my bag and touched up my pout, making faces at myself all the while.

'Havin' fun over there?' Kit laughed.

'I'm beginning to think this shade is old hat,' I sighed. 'Maybe I should try red like Marilyn.'

'I don't care what color they are so long as I get to kiss 'em,' he smirked, taking one hand off the steering wheel and placing it on my upper thigh. I didn't even notice how far my dress had ridden up my leg since getting in the car.

I blushed and giggled, tucking the front pieces of my hair behind my ears. I will admit, I was still in the lavender haze with him.

He pulled into the parking lot of the small roadside diner in our town. It was quaint, tucked away in some trees, filled with truckers from out-of-state and old ladies meeting for lunch. It was a stone's throw from Kit's job, and the perfect place to hide away. Somewhere neither of my parents would dare go.

We sat at the tall counter in the center of the place. This was part of our little Thursday routine. I would always come out of class absolutely ravenous. We'd pick far-away or unknown places to eat before truly spending time together.

'You want somethin', my pretty thing?' Kit asked as the waitress stood in front of us.

'Honestly, a milkshake would be a gas,' I smiled up at the waitress. 'Strawberry.'

'That's all you want?' Kit asked as she walked away. 'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, Kit, I'm alright,' I replied, feeling around in my bag for a light for my cigarette. 'Shit, I must have dropped my lighter somewhere. It's not here.'

'Don’t worry doll, I got you,' he drawled, flicking his own open and holding it under the cigarette clenched in my teeth. I took a long drag and exhaled. The waitress returned and placed my drink in front of me, and Kit's meal in front of him.

I looked over at Kit and caught him taking me in. He looked me up and down and chuckled softly.

'My, you are a dream,' he cooed, placing a hand on my chin to bring me in for a kiss. I went in for a peck and was alarmed to find that Kit wanted more.

'Baby, not here,' I said through gritted teeth, pulling away quickly. I looked around to make sure no one saw. 'You're an animal.' I laughed and he returned the smile.

'I just can't control myself around you, pretty.'

'Well then hurry up and finish your food so we can peel out,' I giggled, pushing his shoulder playfully.

+

There was an old abandoned schoolhouse in town 5 minutes away from my house. Kit and I would find ourselves in the back parking lot frequently. Tucked away from the public eye in his car.

As soon as Kit parked the car, he dragged me into the back seat with him. We made out furiously, like two caged animals that were finally set free. It was a small space, but we sure made it work.

I took over, immediately pushing Kit's back up against the door, placing my hands on his chest to hold him down. His white undershirt was soft against my palms. I could feel his heart pounding furiously beneath my fingertips. A pace that signaled to me just how much he wanted this.

We kissed for only a short time before clothes started getting removed. First, I aided him in removing his work shirt. Then, I worked to undo his belt and unbutton his jeans. He slid them off quickly. I took that time to remove my panties, throwing them hastily to the front seat.

His erection was noticeable through his white briefs. My hand immediately reached to touch it, only for it to be held back.

'Not yet, sweetheart,' he smiled. He pushed me back into the door on my side and continued making out with me. His hands groped all over my body, paying particular attention to my breasts. 'Oh this dress just won't do,' he muttered.

My high-necked smock dress was fit for school, yes, but not for this. He reached behind me and unzipped the fabric smoothly. He tugged the material and it slid down to expose my bra. Kit smiled as he looked into my eyes, then turned his attention back to my chest. He peppered kisses all over my sensitive skin, making goosebumps raise all over my body.

First, he slid my left bra strap off my shoulder, creating a bit more slack and revealing more of my skin. He took his time to kiss all of the areas of skin he hadn't before, going agonizingly slow so that I would get hot and bothered. He loved when I was hot and bothered.

Next was the right bra strap. The ceremony continued. His ritualistic dance of adorning love to every inch of my body made every horrible minute spent without him worth it. His mouth inched closer and closer to the very edge of my bra. Eventually, I gave in to the teasing and reached back to unhook the damn thing myself.

Deciding I'd had enough, though, I pushed Kit back again. This time, all the way down so that he was laying across the back seat. My hand reached for his bulge and stroked it. He whimpered in pleasure. I took the waistband of his briefs in my fingers and tugged, making his dick spring loose.

I lined myself up with him and slid his throbbing erection into my slick middle, feeling every inch of it go deeper and deeper into me. I cried out involuntarily and began bouncing on it, feeling our two bodies connect naturally. My walls tightened around it. He moaned softly.

'Oh baby, yeah,' he spat through gritted teeth as I continued to ride him. I stooped down and kissed him passionately, still keeping a rhythm. His shaking hands reached up to grope my breasts again, this time more firmly. He slid his hands down to my waist and held it, almost as if he were trying to feel some sort of control over me.

I continued moving my hips atop his dick. His length went so deep within me, I thought I'd scream. I put both of my palms on either side of his chest to steady myself. His breathing got more ragged, and I could feel his heart racing still.

'Fuck,' Kit grunted, trying not to come so easily. He gathered what strength he had a lifted me off of his erection by my waist. I sat back and slid down to a laying position as he rose to position himself above me, both of us maintaining eye contact as we went. He wanted a turn on top.

I didn't even get a chance to settle before his large cock was inside me again. I yelped and screwed my eyes closed, existing at that moment at his very will. He held my wrists, which were resting just next to my head, down so that I couldn't move. I whined in protest but was silenced by his lips on mine.

Sweat formed on his brow. I could feel myself succumbing to the waves of orgasm. But, neither of us wanted to be the first to give in. I breathed heavily to steel myself, but it was to no avail. I came first, crying out and moaning loudly. He slid out of me and stroked my hair as the fits of pleasure overtook me.

Kit sat back against the door on his side of the car once again, breathing heavily. I regained my composure and sat up, sitting back on my heels. I stooped down and took his pre-cum covered dick in my mouth. I flicked my tongue over the tip and reveled in the whimpers and cries Kit was letting out. He grabbed and pulled my hair gently as I continued to suck him off.

'I-I'm gonna come,' he mustered, trying to warn me in case I wanted to stop. Instead, I let him blow his load directly into my mouth. I ignored the warmth and bitter taste as I swallowed. He moaned and threw his head back, eventually relaxing into his position. I wiped my mouth and sat back as well.

Recovered from his orgasm, Kit leaned forward and laid half-beside and half-on me, resting his head on my chest. I sighed in contentment.

'God, you're good at that,' Kit whispered, laughing softly. I laughed too. He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. He kissed the back of each finger as well to emphasize his gratefulness. He nestled closer into me. I nearly fell asleep listening to his breathing even out.

I gasped suddenly when I looked out the window and saw the sun setting. 'Shit, Kit, we have to get me home!'

We both worked quickly to redress. He helped me with the tough job of zipping up the back of my dress. I scrambled out of the back door and into the passenger door, slamming it shut and bringing the visor down to once again look at myself in the mirror. Kit clambered up to the front from the back seat and settled himself in.

He turned the key in the ignition and started the car up. He paused, though, before going. I looked away from fixing my lipstick for a moment to see what was the matter. Kit shifted in his seat and reached for something that was under him. In his hand was my panties.

'I uh, think you're gonna need these,' he chuckled, blushing. I smacked his arm and snatched them from his grip.

'Oh, hush! Stop! It's not funny,' I protested, half-laughing as well. I shoved them into my handbag demonstratively. 'Now hurry up and drive!'

+

The ride home was quick enough. The sun was still setting as Kit got to the end of my street. He had to drop me there to avoid my parents seeing anything.

'Are you sure you're gonna be okay walking over there this late? I don't need anyone snatching my girl,' Kit spoke.

'I'll be fine, Kit. No one really walks my street. Plus, it's not even that dark,' I assured him.

'Well okay, but I'll be parked here watching ya, okay?'

'Just don't be too obvious,' I warned.

He leaned over and grabbed my face, pulling me in for one last, passionate kiss. When I pulled away, my lipstick was all over his face. I just chuckled to myself and opened the door.

'I love you, you pretty thing,' he called after me.

'I love you too, Kit,' I smiled.

+++

Literally cannot lie I got a bit, uh, bothered myself writing this one LOL. Let me know if you liked this one!

[jpmarvel90]

Guilt

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x Reader

Summary: Natasha finally finds her sister Yelena. Only to discover she has a friend that escaped the Red Room with her. Distrust causes issues between the trio and leads to a break up of friendships.

Word Count: 8306

Y/n's POV:

Yelena and I were on the run for almost two years before her sister Natasha Romanoff found us. We had managed to escape the Red Room together and had been on the run ever since. Yelena had become like a sister to me. She's a year older than me but we've always looked out for each other. Our last few months in the Red Room were horrible and we went through things that no one ever should have to.

Once we escaped, we had a freedom neither of us thought we'd ever have. Even if we did have to move on every few months, we lived life to it's fullest. We moved across Europe, working any job that we could and always finding some shitty one bed apartment that we could live in. The aim was to save up as much money as we could to get to the US. Yelena was sure that was where her sister Natasha was, and I wanted to make sure she got reunited with her family. In the Red Room, they take everything away from you. Knowing that she was able to keep a hold of her sister, meant a lot to Yelena. She deserved to be happy.

I didn't know Natasha really, other than the rumours I heard whilst I was in the red room. As I was 7 years younger than her, I didn't have much to do with her. She seemed familiar but I put it down to the fact that we had training sessions with the older age groups at times and we probably met then at some point.

After she escaped, Yelena was moved to our section. She was punished for Natasha escaping and I helped to clean her wounds. It's how we became friends and over time, why I started to see her as my sister.

The moment that Natasha broke into our apartment in Budapest is something I'll never forget. I had just come back from the shop to find the two of them strangling each other with a curtain. When they called a truce, it was like none of that had ever happened. Natasha was quick to pull Yelena into a tight hug and apologise for leaving her in Red Room and not going back for her.

When she became aware of my presence, Natasha was quick to point a gun to my head. "No! No! Natasha, that's Y/n. Put the gun down!" Yelena shouted, stepping in front of her sister, and pushing her away. "Who's Y/n?" Natasha asks with a bite to her tone. "She was in the Red Room with me. She helped me escape. She can be trusted Natasha." Yelena tries to convince her. She looks me up and down before dropping the gun. "You look familiar." She grunts as she slips her weapon into the back of her jeans. "She was J block. It's where I was moved to when you left." Yelena explains for me.

"Hmm. I think I worked with them a few times." She thought out loud. She's probably right. They often sent the older kids in to practice their technique on us. I had even seen some of my friends killed by them. I was even almost killed in one training session. They were completely brain washed by Dreykov and his men to do horrible things.

After the reunion in Budapest, Natasha offered Yelena a place within Shield, and with that a place to stay with her at the compound where her and her team lived. Yelena only agreed to go if I was allowed to go with them. Natasha reluctantly agreed and before we knew it, we were on a jet flying to New York.

The whole way there, Yelena and I held hands, excited that we were finally safe, no longer having to stay on the run to keep alive. Maybe we'd even get the chance to take down the red room once and for all. For the whole flight, however, I could feel Natasha's harsh gaze on me. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I tried to ignore it. Maybe she was just slightly jealous that I had such a close relationship with Yelena.

Over the next few months, my relationship with Natasha did not improve. In fact, I'm sure it got worse, no matter how hard I tried. She just didn't seem to trust me. And because she didn't trust me, the rest of the team were reluctant to do so either. Initially, Yelena tried to get us to all get along. But I could see that she felt like she was in the middle. So, I encouraged her to spend more time with Natasha. She had been desperately trying to get back to her for years, it's only right that they have time together. I'd be ok.

Over time though, Yelena started to spend less and less time with me. At times she would barely talk to me, it was almost like I was a chore for her. The tag along that was only there to help her escape. Now she has her sister and new family, I'm not needed anymore. I've tried really hard to make friends with the others on the team, but it doesn't seem to be going very well. Especially with Steve, he's always harder on me than the others and I can see he has a hatred for me in his eyes.

I considered leaving, but after talking with Agent Hill and Directory Fury, I found a purpose to stay. I could help to take down the red room. They both trusted me, and I appreciated that. I worked with them a lot on a number of missions to get the intel that we would need to finally put an end of other girls ending up like Yelena, Natasha and me.

Having that purpose didn't make it any easier back at the compound. I still was required to go on missions with the Avengers, but that was the only time any of them would really talk to me now. Even Yelena. It really started to hurt. I thought I meant more to her, but clearly not. I don't know why I ever thought that I would fit in anywhere. I spent my childhood locked away and with no family to help me find my way, I was always going to be an outcast.

After a particularly bad mission, I was on the receiving end of a barrage of abuse from Steve and Sam. I hadn't done anything wrong, but they were looking for someone to blame and that landed solely on me. The whole journey back on the quinjet was torture as they took it in turns yelling at me. I didn't have anything to say in response, I know I would only make things worse. But what really hurt was the way that Yelena didn't say a word to even try to stand up for me. Especially when the next attack that came out of Steve's mouth. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were a double agent really working for Hydra and Dreykov. All these solo missions you do. Are you really reporting back to the enemy?" He spits at me. I open my mouth to defend myself, but he quickly holds his hand up to me. "You don't talk!" He hisses.

He takes a deep breath before turning to me once again. "You're just a trained murderer who will never be able to make up for the red in her ledger. You're not worthy of the place you have been afforded here." I have to choke back the sob that fights to get out. My glossed over eyes look to Yelena who instantly looks away. I'm the same as her, the same as Natasha, yet none of them can give me the benefit of the doubt.

Thankfully, the quinjet lands at his last sentence and I'm the first off, the jet. I rush to my room and start to pack my bags instantly. I can't stay here anymore. I don't feel safe. I know that I don't have the teams support and I'm only a danger to them and myself.

I don't own a lot, so it doesn't take me long until I'm packed up. A miserable depiction of my life. I wait until I know everyone will be having dinner and I'll be able to slip out with no issues. Leaving probably will make them think I'm working for the enemy even more, but I won't stay here any longer.

When I'm ready to leave, I reach up and take off the necklace that has hung around my neck for the last two and a half years. It's a spider charm. Yelena brought us each one with her first pay cheque. It was meant to represent our relationship as sisters. Now it just symbolises everything that I've lost. I place it on top of the chest of draws in my room then I grab my small duffle bag and make my way out. As I sneak past the kitchen, I hear them all laughing together. A family that I'll never be a part of.

When I leave the compound, I make my way to Shield headquarters. Luckily, Fury is still there, and I explain everything that has happened. I practically beg him to let me leave and go as far away from here as possible. He offers me the chance to be free, away from Shield and far away from the Avengers, if I carry out one last mission with Agent Hill. I instantly agree when he gives me the details. If I can do one final good thing to help defeat the red room, then I'll take it. It feels like the only thing that I have left to give to this world.

Nat's POV:

Watching the way Steve and Sam tore strips off Y/n on the way back home was hard to see. It wasn't her fault that we failed that mission. But she was the chosen target for their anger. I could see Y/n getting smaller and smaller with each insult that was flung her way.

But I'm sure I saw the moment her heart actually broke. You'd think it was the moment Steve called her a murder, not worthy of her place. That did damage, of course it did, but the moment her heart broke was when she looked to Yelena for any kind of support, only for her to look away. That was the moment I saw the tiniest bit of light left in Y/n's eyes disappear. I should have said something. I should have stood up for her. If that is how Steve sees Y/n, then that is what he should think of me and Yelena, and I know for a fact he doesn't.

I feel immense guilt as I watch Y/n rush off the jet. I've not made her life easy since she's been here. But it's been misguided. I remember Y/n. Of course I do. She was my target to kill. I had been put against her in a fight to the death. But she was strong. She fought well. I beat her to an inch of her life at the orders of Dreykov, only to be stopped from choking her to death at the last moment. He had deemed her worthy of living for the fight she had put up.

I still remember the fear in her eyes as she thought I was about to take her life away. I knew who she was as soon as she walked into the apartment in Budapest. But I didn't know how to be around her, so I didn't try. The benefit of being the Black Widow, is being able to hide how I really feel. What I didn't realise was how much that would affect the team's thoughts on her.

They believed that I didn't trust her so decided they didn't either. I mean, it's good to know that the team support me like that. But it must have been hell for Y/n. She would try so hard to fit in but was met by cold shoulders from everyone. Even Wanda and she will make an effort with everyone. It made my guilt grow even more, but instead of putting a stop to it, I just started to remove myself from the situation. I would hang out with Yelena as much as I could because she was the one person that could make the guilt disappear for a split second. Y/n represents every bad thing I did in the red room, and I let her suffer for it.

But I know now that I need to fix this. I would observe Y/n and I truly believe she is one of a kind. She has such a kind soul for someone who has been through so much hell. Things were bad when I was in the red room, but they only got worse after I left. Yelena had told me some stories and they always ended with Y/n being there for her. I'm glad that she had someone like her during such a horrible time in her life.

I would find myself craving to get to know Y/n more, knowing that my life would only be brighter to have her in it. But I didn't deserve that, so I shut off any thoughts of that. I could not and would not think of her more than a work colleague. I wish I didn't because I don't think I'll be able to make up for everything that has happened over the past six months since the two of them came home with me.

After we got off the jet, I went straight to Yelena's room. She slammed her bag on to the floor as soon as she got there. "What gives Steve the right to talk to Y/n like that. She didn't do anything." She says angrily, pacing around her room. "She was brain washed. We all were. She was always the best of us, the one who kept the small amount of hope that we would all be ok. He has no right to talk to her like that." She shouts as she drops onto her bed.

I take a seat next to her as she breaths heavily. "We should go and talk to her and make sure she's ok." I suggest, earning a nod from Yelena. When we leave her room, we're greeted by Steve. "Tony ordered Pizza, come join us." He says with a smile. "We'll just go and get Y/n and see you there." I say but he stops me. "She's not welcome. The team don't want her there. Now join us." He says sternly. I just look at him in disbelief.

I'm sure I see smoke coming off of Yelena's head as Steve walks away. "That asshole." She mumbles, clenching her fists in anger. I place a hand on her shoulder. "Let's take a moment and then go to her." I suggest but she snaps her head to me. "Why do you suddenly care?" She snaps, but I don't blame her. My gaze drops to the floor before I decide that now's the time tell her the truth. I guide her back into her room and sit her on the bed. I take a deep breath and explain everything that happened in the red room. How I almost killed Y/n and let the guilt affect how I treated her once she was here.

Yelena sat there in shock after I finished admitting the truth. "She never would have blamed you for that. In fact, one of her best friends in there was someone who shot her. We had to do as we were ordered or we got killed or punished, she never held that against anyone." Yelena tells me, which just makes my guilt grow even more, if that's even possible!

"We need to make things up to her and try and get the team to see she's not a threat. I can't believe that I've let this happen." Yelena sighs, and I can feel the pain radiating off her. "Come on then, let's not waste any more time." I tell her, holding my hand out to her. She gives me a smile and takes it. When we reach her door Yelena knocks but gets no answer. She knocks again. "Y/n/n, it's me. Can I come in?" She asks but is met with silence.

"Friday, is Y/n in there?" I ask the AI before we go barging in. "No Agent Romanoff. Y/n left the compound with her belongings 20 minutes ago." The AI responds. Not wanting to believe what she just heard, Yelena opens the door and calls out for Y/n again. "Please Y/n. We're here to apologise." I can hear the desperation in her voice as she goes into the bathroom and opens the wardrobe to see them empty.

Tears start to fill her eyes and then they land on something on the top of the chest of draws. And this here is the moment I see my sister's own heart break. Her hand shakes as she reaches out to pick up the necklace that is waiting for her. "We vowed to never take these off. They were to show that we were always with the other regardless of where we were. What have I done?" She whispers that last bit as she slides down the wall to the floor. I sit next to her and wrap an arm around her as I fight tears of my own, knowing that I'll never be able to fix this for either Y/n or my sister.

"Director Fury has asked for your presence in the meeting room." Friday informs us. I look to Yelena and we both take a moment to compose ourselves before heading out to meet Fury. The rest of the team are already waiting in there as we take our seats. "Who the fuck wants to explain why my best agent has just handed in her resignation." He yells, hitting his hand down on the table. It makes me jump to see his anger.

"None of us have done anything to Agent Hill." Steve defends but Fury's head snaps to him. "Not Hill. Y/l/n." He says with a fire in his eyes. Steve scoffs at his words. "She got what was coming to her. She's clearly been working with Hydra. How else do you explain all these 'solo' missions she's been doing?" He argues, a venom lacing his voice. Fury lets out a small chuckle and we instantly know that's not a good sign.

"Those solo missions were at my request." He states and the air in the room seems to disappear. It's like everyone has realised what has happened. "B-but Romanoff doesn't trust her." Steve tries to defend. Everyone's eyes fall to me. "I've never said that. I had my own problems that had nothing to do with Y/n but my inability to deal with my past." I admit, but I know some of the blame falls to me as well.

"What even were these missions?" Steve questions Fury, again a bad move. "Know your place, Rogers. I don't think you realise the asset we've just lost." Another scoff comes from Steve. "She's not an asset to anyone." Fury slams his hand down on the table once more which startles us all. "Watch what the next words are to come out of your mouth." He growls and Steve instantly shrinks into his seat. "Y/n was helping me to collect information on the red room. As one of the last known people to escape, her knowledge was invaluable to us. It's because of her, we're the closest we've ever been to taking them out." Silence fills the room as Fury explains what Y/n has been doing before Yelena speaks up.

"But I escaped with her. Why did you ask me to help?" She asks, as Fury gives her a pitying look. "Y/n didn't want you to have to relive what happened to you in there or risk losing your family. She was protecting you." Fury explained. Yelena's mouth opens and closes but nothing comes out as she realises what Y/n has done for her. For us.

Fury turns his attention back to the rest of the team. "She thought if she could bring down the red room, that she could prove to you all that she was trustworthy and earn her place here. Maybe even gain a family. But instead, she's left here believe she is and has nothing. So much for earth's mightiest heroes. You can't even be there for your teammate." And with that Fury left the briefing room, leaving us all shellshocked at his revelations.

I can hear quiet sobs coming from Yelena as I try to fight the sick feeling in my stomach knowing she's out there alone feeling like she never meant anything to us. To me. "She's always put me first. Always protected me. She was my sister but as soon as I came here, I tossed her aside, too scared of losing you. I've let her down. I couldn't even stand up for her against Steve." I go to wrap my arm around her, but she shrugs me off. "Don't. I'm so ashamed of myself, of us. How we have treated her. All she has ever wanted is a family. To feel like she belonged somewhere. But I bought her here just for her to feel like she's a monster." She cries before storming out of the room.

The rest of the team are in shock. I decide to share with them what I did with Yelena. They deserve to know the whole truth. If we're able to bring Y/n back, she deserves this team at their best. They are an amazing family. I just wish I hadn't allowed this to happen.

Steve instantly feels guilty after I explain. "I should never have said what I did to her. I misplaced my anger. I just assumed the worse. I'm sorry Nat. You came from the same place as she did. What I said wasn't only disrespectful to her, but you as well." He apologises. I can see the sincerity in his face. "It's not me that deserves an apology. I've let Y/n down more than anyone here. She is a good person, and we would have been lucky to have her in our lives. I just hope that we can repair this." Knowing there is nothing more I can do. I get up to leave to find Yelena.

As I'm walking past Y/n's room, I hear crying. I open the door and I'm greeted by Yelena hugging her pillow close to her. I slowly get into the bed behind her. I wrap my arms around her and let her cry and express what she needs to. "I let her down Nat. I should have been there for her, but I wasn't. How can I ever call myself a sister to her after I just left her like I did? She deserves better." She laments, the pain evident in her voice.

"She's not safe Nat. They'll know it was her that has been doing these missions. They'll be going after her and if they get her, they'll kill her and it'll be my fault." She turns in my hold and sobs into my chest. I'm crying myself knowing that she's right. I've never seen Yelena like this. She's completely broken. I need to fix this for both of them. I can't see Yelena like this, and I just want to have a second chance with Y/n.

When we finally have pulled ourselves together, we get up and start our search to find her. Tony lets us use anything he has to try and find her, but it's no use. For weeks we try to look for her, but we get nothing. Not even a hint of where she could be. I pray it's because she is good enough to go off the grid like this. But in my stomach, I have this gnawing feeling that she's been captured and killed. It's the more likely answer, but I don't dare say it allowed. She has to be ok. She has to be alive.

Three years later

"I've got something!" Tony comes running into the dining room one evening with the biggest grin on his face. "I don't think we want to know what you've got." Sam jokes, causing us all to laugh. "Funny. But no. I've got a hit on the facial recognition for Y/n." Silence falls over us all at his words. "She's in Pennsylvania." He informs us. I feel Yelena's hand grip my thigh at his words.

We never gave up. These last three years, we have all still been looking for her. Determine to find her. The team have been helping us and we take it in turns to trawl CCTV and all of the databases that we can for any hint that's alive and well. So to hear that we finally have something, a possibility of seeing her again after these last few years is such a great feeling.

"What are we waiting for we should go!" Steve jumps up and orders us. It really affected him after we all found out the truth. He spent weeks reading over Y/n's solo mission reports. What she did was incredible and how she hid some of her injuries I'll never know. But I guess when no one gives you the time of day, it's easy enough to do. "I don't think we should all go in guns blazing. Besides we don't know what state she is in." Tony rebuts which causes Steve to reluctantly agree.

"Yelena and I will go. We'll assess the situation and hopefully bring her home safe. If we need it, we'll call in for backup." I say authoritatively. They all eagerly agree before Yelena, and I head off to grab what we need. We pack a bag as we don't know what we're going into. We need to do this carefully. If she's been taken by the red room, we can't screw this up.

Tony has arranged everything for us, including staying in a hotel in the small town she's been located in. Whilst on the quinjet there, I'm doing additional research to see if we have any intel of there being a Hydra or red room base there. After Y/n left, it became harder for us to find any information on the red room. Yelena and I went on missions in place of her, but we didn't get the same results. The red room is still active, but we are so close to ending it. I just hope it hasn't come at too high a cost.

We arrive in a town called Ligonier, a very traditional US town. We land the jet away from any people and make our way to the town centre and our hotel. Once we've checked in, we set up all our tech so we have communications back home with the compound, as well as the software for facial recognition. I can tell that Yelena just wants to go out and search the whole town for her, but we need to be sensible.

So, we spend that evening gathering as much info as we can, Tony being a great help to us from back home. "The facial recognition I got was from a coffee shop on the main street of the town. It's probably a good place to start. Interestingly, there are either no cameras there, or the ones that are don't work. Almost like someone doesn't want to be found." He starts to explain. "Where did you get her then?" I question as I find the location of the coffee shop. A camera from the town hall across the way. It picks her briefly in the back of the frame." He explains.

After coming up with a plan of action, we head to bed but neither of us can sleep. "I'm excited to see her again." Yelena says from her bed next to me. "But I'm also worried that she's not safe or won't want to see us." She adds on and I can hear the pain in her voice. Y/n leaving affected Yelena a lot. She has carried around a guilt that she wasn't there for her and let her be treated like she was. I've lost count of the times I'd find her in Y/n's room crying, terrified that she was dead, and it was all her fault. Truth is, it would all be mine.

"The main thing is that she's safe. We can work on forgiveness after that." I say and Yelena hums in agreement. "You know. I always thought you liked her at first. It's why I tried to get you to allow her to join us so much. But then over time I just realised you didn't like her at all, and I chose you over her. If only I had known, I could have made things right between you." She chuckles lowly whilst my eyes widen.

I feel Yelena's eyes on me when I don't respond. "Oh my God! You do like her!" She squeals, turning so she's facing me. "Shut up. I don't." I weakly defend. "HA! See it's so clear! You like Y/n!" She teases me whilst I huff, knowing that I'm not going to hide it from her. "Are you mad?" I ask timidly which seems to shock Yelena. "Not that you like her. You both deserve to be happy. Maybe a little mad that if you hadn't put your head in the sand, we wouldn't have been in this position of trying to find her after her disappearance three years ago!" She lightly scolds.

"I always thought whoever would end up with Y/n would be one of the luckiest people in the world. Maybe that could be you." She adds on which causes a smile to form on my face. But I quickly shake my head knowing that we have to find her and earn her forgiveness first.

We eventually fall asleep and wake up refreshed, ready to bring Y/n home. We're up early and head to the coffee shop that she was spotted in. We order our drinks and sit out of the way, but still with a good view of the whole shop. After about an hour, Y/n rushes in through the door apologising. "I'm so sorry Jill. Mia did not want to leave this morning. I'll make up for it." She rambles as she grabs an apron from behind the counter. "Don't worry about it Y/n. It's not busy. Take a breath." This Jill reassures her.

We stay for another hour and make the decision to leave, not wanting her to spot us just yet. Instead, we stay locally, to get an idea of when her shift ends. We go back the next few days and just seeing her so carefree makes me happy. "She looks good. I love the blonde hair." Yelena states as we get into bed that evening. "I thought she had been captured, but to see her alive and well is good." I reply. Knowing that she's safe is such a relief.

The next day, we go to the coffee shop for the end of her shift. We decided that we'll try and talk to her today. We're both really nervous, but I'm hopeful that we might be able to start on the road to fixing this. Whilst sat at our same table, I watch almost mesmerised as Y/n floats around the coffee shop. She knows a lot of the people here and they seem to enjoy her being around. "She looks happy." I observe and Yelena nods.

Just as the clock is about to hit three, we're both startled by the door to the shop slamming open and a little girl running in. "Mama!" She shouts as she sprints through the shop. I smile at how cute the little girl is, but I feel my heart in my throat when she is running straight to Y/n. "Hi my baby." Y/n greets the child, picking her up and spinning her around. "Mama?" Yelena questions next to me.

"Can we go home now?" The little girl asks. "Give me 10 minutes sweetie and I'll be ready to go. I'll grab you a muffin whilst you wait." Y/n responds, sitting the girl at a table. Y/n finishes up her last few jobs before returning to her daughter. Wow that sounds weird. I find myself stuck to my seat not entirely sure what I'm feeling. I've missed my chance.

As her and the girl walk out the door, her eyes land on us. They go wide and she is quickly rushing out the door of the coffee shop. Yelena is far quicker than me and has jumped out of her seat and is chasing after Y/n. When I finally get my sense back, I follow quickly after, to see Yelena just catching up to Y/n. "Please, just wait. We've been looking for you for years." Yelena pleads.

Y/n is now holding the scared little girl in her arms as her eyes stare down Yelena. "We just want to talk. To have a chance to apologise. Please." Yelena practically begs. I can tell that seeing Yelena like this is having an effect on Y/n. She lets out a sigh and slowly nods. "Follow me." She mumbles and turns on her heal.

We follow her to a small little house just on the outskirts of town. The garden is immaculate and when she opens the door, it feels so homely. "Mia, why don't you go and play with your toys upstairs. Mama just needs to talk to these ladies." Y/n instructs the child, who seems reluctant to go. "But they're scary." Mia mumbles which causes Yelena to let out a small chuckle. "It's ok sweetheart. I'll be ok." Y/n reassures her.

Reluctantly Mia leaves and heads upstairs. I start to wonder around the small living space whilst Y/n makes us a drink. There aren't many photos up. Most of them are of Mia, but there are some with Y/n in too. This gives me the smallest bit of hope that it means she's not with someone else.

Y/n enters the living room with a tray with three glasses and a bottle of vodka. "Figured you wouldn't want a tea and I sure as hell need this for whatever you're here for." She says as she fills three glasses. There's a silence as we sit, neither Yelena nor I knowing where to start. The sound of the ticking clock is all you can hear and the occasional giggle from upstairs.

I notice that each time we can hear that, Y/n's face lights up. "So, you have a daughter." Yelena breaks the silence. "I do." Y/n responds shortly. "Were you pregnant whilst you were with us? I didn't know you were with anyone." Yelena questions. "Like you would have noticed anyway." Y/n scoffs. "But no. I wasn't. She's not biologically mine." Y/n admits which takes us a little by surprise. "Oh." Is all Yelena responds with. "Where have you been?" I now ask, wanting to know that she has in fact been safe since she left us. "Why should I tell you? You can't just turn up here and demand answers from me. It's been three years." She says firmly. She certainly got her confidence since she left!

"We've been worried about you Y/n. All we've wanted to do is apologise to you after that day. Well, not even just for that day. For everything, for the way I treated you when I promised you, we'd always be there for each other." Yelena answers, a hint of desperation in her voice. "For three years, I have been so angry at myself for getting so caught up on Natasha and not losing her, that I ended up losing you instead. It was like I felt like I couldn't have two sisters and being around Nat and the others made me feel like I had my family. I was a coward to let them isolate you like they did."

I have never heard Yelena talk so honest and openly about something before. It's obvious she is baring her soul her, and I think Y/n realises that too. "All I ever did was try and fit in with everyone. I knew we wouldn't always be together, but I didn't think that was how it was going to go." Y/n shares, pain in her eyes. "You just gave up on me. You couldn't even defend me to Steve." There's a crack in Y/n's voice, which she tries to hide.

"We both owe you an apology for that. How he spoke to you that day was out of line. We can't change what happened, but I hope that we can work to fix what we broke." I step in now. I know I'm going to have to tell her about why I acted like I did. But I'm dreading it. What if I tell her and she never wants to see me again?! I think that would break me. "I also owe you an explanation for why I treated you like I did." I start, wanting to get this out of the way.

"I know why. You didn't trust me around Yelena." She answers for me. I quickly shake my head. "No, that's not it at all." I defend, looking to Yelena who gives me a reassuring nod. I take a deep breath and explain everything to her. How I couldn't forgive myself for what I did, and I dealt with it all in the completely wrong way. She sat there shocked when I finished. Her silence was so tense. I was sure she was about to kick us out and tell us that she never wanted to see us again.

"Did you want to kill me?" She asks and I'm quick to deny it. "Of course not! I could never want to hurt you." I admit and she smiles. "You were controlled Natasha. We all did things that we didn't want to. But we had to to survive. I would never have held that against you." She tells me with such sincerity, it causes me to start crying. Knowing that she doesn't blame me brings such relief, but it also brings anguish at the thought of how I treated her.

"I'm still here sat in front of you. I'm alive and well with the most beautiful little daughter. You didn't ruin anything that day in the red room." She shares with a wide smile. "Yeah, about that child." Yelena jumps in. "Where did you get her?" She asks and I laugh at her blunt question. "When I went to hand in my resignation, Fury asked me to carry out one more mission for him. In return he would allow me to go free from it all. I instantly agreed. The mission was easy, but I came across a small baby, she was a little over a year old. I have no idea how she got there or what their plans were for her, but I couldn't leave her. When I arrived back at Shield with a baby in my arms, Fury stepped up for me. He helped me adopt her and get this house with a job and a new identity. Somewhere safe where Shield are still able to protect us if we need it." She explains.

If it's possible, it makes me lov-like her even more. She's so selfless. "Protect you. Are you in danger?" Yelena asks in a panicked tone. "Not directly. But with the red room still running, there will always be a chance they come for the both of us." She replies. "You know I never stopped seeing you as a sister." Yelena blurts out of nowhere. Y/n has a small smile on her face at those word. "I never did either. But I knew that the compound wasn't the place for me anymore. It was where your family was, not mine." Hearing those words is hard to take. We should have been the family she deserved but we weren't and it's all down to me.

"Do you have that family now?" I ask but I notice her head drop a little. "Mia and I make do. The people here are nice and look out for us." She responds. "Come home with us." It's my turn to now blurt things out and the request takes both Yelena and Y/n by surprise. "Hey! I was supposed to be the one to ask her that. Cyka." Yelena complains with a pout.

"But she's right. Come back with us. We can be the family you deserve. And you'd be safe too. Mia would never have to worry about the red room." Yelena directs towards Y/n. "I could make sure my niece is safe." Yelena smiles. "Your niece?" Y/n questions with a smirk. "You're my sister whether you want to be or not, so therefore she is my niece." She argues whilst Y/n lets out a hum.

"Mama! Can I have a dwink pwease?" Mia rushes down the stairs out of breath into Y/n's arms. "What did I say about running down the stairs?" Y/n scolds. "Sorry Mama." Mia apologises with the cutest little look. Oh she is going to have everyone putty in her hands. "I'll get her a drink. Milk?" Yelena jumps up, already trying to prove herself. "Please." Y/n nods holding Mia against her.

Mia's big eyes land on me and I smile at her. "Who is she?" Mia whispers to her mama. "That's Natasha. And that loud one over there is Yelena." Y/n responds, earning a gasp from Yelena. "I am not loud!" She shouts which causes Mia to let out a loud laugh in response. Yelena comes back over and hands over the glass of warm milk to Mia who happily sits and drinks.

"So... will you come back with us?" Yelena asks and Y/n sighs. "I don't want to have Mia in that environment where everyone hates her mama." Y/n responds. "They don't hate you. They understand what they did was wrong. Steve has been feeling guilt ever since you left. He was ready to jump on the quinjet with us and be here with us to apologise to you straight away." I tell her, wanting her to know that it will not be the same as it once was. "Besides, I won't let anyone say anything against you. I won't make that same mistake again." I say quietly, almost coming over as shy. "Me too. We'll protect you." Yelena confirms.

Y/n thinks for a while. "Ok, but I promise if anything like that happens again, I'm gone for good. I don't care about me, but I will protect Mia with everything I have." Y/n agrees which makes both Yelena and I jump up in excitement. "Why are they so happy?" Mia asks, placing her glass on the table. Yelena rushes over and picks her up and spins her around. "You're coming to live with your Auntie Yelena!" She shares excitedly. Considering this kid has just met us, she is so excited at the thought. Y/n just shakes her head at their antics, but she looks to me and our eyes meet. I smile at her which she easily returns.

We stay with Y/n for the week whilst she sorts all her affairs out here. We have called the team and told them that Y/n is coming home with us. We may have missed out a small detail of the child, but we wanted to surprise them all. I could tell that Y/n was nervous on the flight home. Mia was asleep, curled up on Yelena's lap, whilst Y/n was staring at the wall, her leg bouncing.

I take a seat next to her and place and hand on knee. "It's going to be ok." I try to comfort her. "I won't let anything happen to you. To either of you." I reassure her. "You've got Yelena and I completely. You're safe." She rests her head on my shoulder and looks towards the two sleeping children. "I think I'm more worried about the influence Yelena is going to have on Mia." She jokes, breaking the tension. "Oh, that I can't help you with. Yelena is a force even I can't control." I joke in return, earning a laugh from Y/n. Something that has become my favourite sound.

When the jet comes into land, Y/n gentle wakes Mia up, whilst I give Yelena a slap on the shoulder to rouse her. Y/n holds Mia on her hip, who is clinging to her mama as the ramp of the jet starts to lower. We're surprised to see such a welcoming party. Everyone is there, including Fury and Maria. I can see that it's overwhelming Y/n a little, but she takes a deep breath and starts to walk forwards.

"Agent Y/l/n. Good to see you again. You too little one." Fury greets booping Mia's nose. He quickly clears his throat when he notices we're all looking at him in shock and mutters something about important work to do before leaving. That leaves us with the team and the nerves have hit Y/n again. "Who's this?" Tony asks pointing to the child in Y/n's arms. "This is Mia. My daughter." The team gasp at Y/n's response. "Hi." Mia whispers giving a cute little wave. "No one hurts Y/n or my niece. If you do I will make your life hell." Yelena protectively growls. There's an agreement from the team as they slowly make their way forward to greet Y/n. Each giving their own apology.

"I'm going to build you a specific section here at the compound. I'll make sure you each have your own room and a living space. A place you can call home." Tony excitedly rambles on as he guides Y/n inside. "In the meantime, I'll arrange for your room to be kitted out for the two of you." He carries on. I can see the appreciation in Y/n's eyes as Tony rushes off, ordering Friday to order a new bed.

"Uh, Y/n. Could we talk?" Steve approaches Y/n, which causes Yelena and I to naturally step between them. "Please I just want to apologise." He pleads. "I'll take my little munchkin. Don't fuck up." Yelena warns, taking Mia from Y/n's arms. "fuck..." Y/n's head snaps to Mia as the colour drains from Yelena's face. "You are going to fix that." Y/n growls at Yelena who instantly apologises and rushes off, telling Mia that she can't say that word again.

I step away, but make sure I'm in ear shot should Steve not be being truthful with his intentions. "I just want to apologise for what I said that day and how I treated you whilst you were with us. I'm not going to make up any excuses because there aren't any. I was out of order, and I hope over time you can forgive me. You were an asst to this team, I was just too blind to see it." He's genuine in his delivery and I can see the cogs turning in Y/n's head. "Over time I think I can forgive you. Just don't be an ass again. I've got more to lose this time and I will do anything to protect that." She warns and I'm so happy that she is standing up for herself. "Of course. You and your daughter are safe here." He reassures her.

Content with the apology, Y/n moves further into the compound to find the two troublemakers. I follow to see Yelena and Mia asleep on Y/n's bed. "Remind me why I agreed for these two to live together?" She sighs. "Because we both unfortunately have her as our sister." I tease causing Y/n to laugh. "I know that Mia is safe here as long as Yelena's around." She whispers and I wrap my arm around her. "You're both safe here. I'll make sure of it." I tell her firmly. She looks up at me and our eyes lock on each other. I know that I will protect this woman with my life.

Two years later

I couldn't be happier in this moment as I hold Y/n close to me as the music plays. "I can't believe you're finally my wife." I whisper to her as her head rests against my shoulder, our bodies swaying to the beat. "Took you long enough to ask." She jokes and I pinch her side. "Hey! I had a real fear you'd say no." I defend weakly. "Unfortunately, you managed to worm your way into my heart that there was never going to be a chance I could keep going in this life without you. I was just waiting for you to take the leap." She responds, lifting her head to lock her gaze with mine.

"Oh, shut up. I had this from our daughter too. Bugging me every day to marry you. In fact, I think I was ambushed!" I tease and she laughs. "Well, you're stuck with me now. I'm not letting go." She replies. I lean down so my lips are hovering over hers. "Good, me neither." I whisper as I connect our lips in a soft kiss. "When are we going to tell our little spider that she's going to be a big sister?" I ask, placing my hand on my wife's stomach. "After the honeymoon. I want to have this time together first." She answers to which I easily agree. I will do anything for my wife and my kids.

[wyntereyez]

And here's the next exciting installment of wyntereyez screams into the void. Part Two - the rest of my immediate family.

This part is hard for me to face. Because I do love my family, really, I do. But I need to accept that I can love them, but also hate the way they treated me. I was forever altered, probably for the worse, because of everything. But there's this little voice in my head that whispers, "Things could have been worse. Everyone did their best. You were loved."

You can be loved and cared for and still not have your needs met.

As I've said, my mother left us when I was thirteen. Choosing who to stay with was a no-brainer: one parent wanted us, one didn't. She didn't deserve me.

Now, before this, I had no problems with my Dad. He was a bit distant, but he did things with me - more than my mother did, when I actually think about it.

When she left, my Dad had almost no support network. His family, which I will go into later, was shit. He didn't really have many close friends. He's an introvert. He doesn't like going out much, or traveling. He likes to spend his time off doing projects around the house. He actually is what he believes me to be, which I think is part of problem.

(He never grasped that a house in the middle of nowhere next to a small town with nothing to do was a very bad environment for me.)

But I digress.

When my mother left, I was thirteen, my brother was eight, and my sister was four. My Dad pulled me aside and said we had to do what we could to make sure they had a good childhood. And it never occurred to me to wonder, "what about my childhood?" It pretty much ended that day.

I'd had chores, of course, which I only reluctantly did for an allowance. Trying to get a thirteen-year-old to actually do them is a trial! And now, I had more chores than I'd ever had before - and no allowance. Because my mother had left after we'd gotten a new house and car, and she couldn't be bothered to pay any kind of child support, my Dad was left with a lot of huge debt, and he had to work more hours just to keep afloat. I learned many years later he'd even sold some of his model trains he'd had since he was a child just so he could afford Christmas presents.

Because he had no support network and my mother couldn't be bothered to take us until we were older and she could sleep and ignore us, babysitting duty fell to me. Not at first; my younger siblings did go for a few years to a babysitter, but that wasn't sustainable, and once they got a bit of independence, guess who had no life.

Because they were too young to be left alone, I couldn't do any after school activities, because I had to watch them. I got in trouble once because one teacher wanted us to stay after to rehearse a play, and I couldn't.

I had few friends, because I couldn't do anything with them. Classmates assumed I enjoyed being at home and hated hanging out with others, so I was treated like a shy introvert that few talked to. And a lazy one, since I never volunteered for after-school activities.

This also meant I couldn't get a job. We only had one vehicle, and I was in the middle of nowhere; five miles from my tiny town which had nowhere a teenager could work. I didn't have friends who could drive me around. Not that I could leave the house anyway.

By the time I graduated high school, I had almost no social skills, but I was expected to know how to go out and get a job and go to college - things I figured out entirely on my own, might I add.

I should also mention a few other things. First, I had the misfortune of being my Dad's confidante since, as I said, he wasn't big on friends. You know how psychologists are saying these days how parents should treat children as a fellow adult? Yeah. It's awful. I was somehow supposed to process these big, adult emotions and problems - without being able to share mine in return. This is something I'll come back to later. I was supposed to listen, and sympathize, and it was too much for me.

And then there's the chores. So. Many. Chores. I was the only one to do dishes. For years. It got to the point where I would BEG for my siblings to take turns once they were old enough to help, but nope, it was my job. And if I didn't do them, my Dad would yell. Sometimes, after I did dishes, my sister would make something to eat. She'd put the dishes into the sink and laugh, because she knew I'd be forced to do them even though I'd already done them that day. To this day, it's hard for me to do dishes. Sometimes it takes me days to tackle the dishes because I just CAN'T.

Yes, my Dad yelled a lot. Usually at me. He didn't used to, but stress and grief made him angry a lot. I try to justify it by telling myself that he was that way because of the pain from my mother leaving him.

IT'S NO EXCUSE.

I suspect this is the root of my anxiety. I really don't like it when people yell, and I got yelled at a lot for being me.

Eventually, my Dad bought a second vehicle, a barely-adequate family car that I was allowed to use for work and school. And also for taking my siblings anywhere they wanted to go, since they actually had friends and activities they could attend. They got to be children and teens instead of a mini-adult. A lot of people - including a fucking TEACHER - assumed I was their mother because at that point, I'd been their authority figure so long that I seemed older than I was.

I was five years older than my brother. My Dad wonders why I utterly hate it when people assume I'm the mother of the family.

My Dad seemed to be trying to force me into the mold of a caretaker, a role that I don't actually naturally fit into. Hell, on weekends where my mother did take my siblings (I refused to go) my Dad would go out with one of my uncles (well, an ex-uncle by marriage) who would expect me to watch my young cousins for free while they went out.

My Dad just did not get that I didn't want to babysit. I watched my siblings all week; I needed time off, too. I didn't need to be stuck babysitting for free, with no choice because my ex-uncle would just show up with the kids. When I tried to protest this, my Dad got angry and told me it was 'good practice.'

Practice for WHAT. I already knew at that point that I was never having kids. Quit trying to force me into this unwanted role, you're just making me hate it all the more.

I'd thought that once I was out of high school, I'd be free. I was allowed to stay at home while I worked to save money as well as attend community college, with the plan of eventually transferring to a good college far away. And, it might even have happened that way...if my Dad hadn't married the worse creature possible.

She gets her own section. Let's just say, she taught me all about emotional abuse.

She brought out the worst in my Dad without him realizing it; he suddenly became less trusting, and even more volatile. He actually had the gall to ground me. An adult. Who had a job and college classes. For the crime of standing up to my step-monster because I didn't want to be her personal servant.

I did finally escape, but things still sucked. I'll do a bit of a bullet point list.

I was expected to go along with plans made without me. A good example is my college breaks; it was assumed that I would go home, but my Dad couldn't be bothered to tell me when he was picking me up, and if I called to ask because hey, I needed to know what day he was picking me up, then he'd snap at me for being too persistent. And yet, if I don't immediately answer him, he dogpiles me by having my siblings - and even my freaking mother - try to contact me. I also had no say in how long the visits were, which meant I was trapped for weeks there with the vile step-monster.

I would get into trouble for buying things. Apparently, a little treat once in awhile was not allowed, and would leave me bankrupt. One time I had to show him I bought pads, because the she-beast had goaded him into it.

I'm too ambitious. My goals had always been to go to college and get a degree, but my Dad had always acted like I wanted too much in life and should be content in the kind of boring, repetitive job that drives me insane. It has never once occurred to him that I thrive in environments where I'm going out and doing new things and learning. As I've said, he thinks I'm like him, and has said as much. And I just nod and agree, because he gets annoyed at me otherwise. It took me years to realize that his version of 'too ambitious' is actually 'things most people want to accomplish.' He is, however, very proud of my sister for doing the things that he thinks I shouldn't do.

He expects me to be obedient to the point that I will drop everything for him. Twice, when I was living with him after being forced to move back, I'd made plans to go somewhere. I'd informed him of these plans. He forgot, made his own plans in the same timeframe, and when I reminded him, got angry because he expected me to take care of his dogs. Why the hell couldn't anyone else care for them? Why should I drop everything to watch dogs? Oh, right, because I was forced to do that as a child. One of those trips was a convention. He made me leave a day early, buy a new train ticket back since I couldn't switch it, and lose out on a photo op. He's not even sorry. I have such huge caretaker burnout that I genuinely think I'll never have pets of my own because the thought of taking care of them gives me anxiety.

And I can't tell him how I feel about any of this. If I express ANY kind of negativity, or any problems in my life, he'll immediately start talking about how my mother left him. Apparently, any problems I may have are completely invalid because she left him THIRTY YEARS AGO. And my sister will immediately back him up, because she got a more normal life and doesn't understand why I have issues.

I'm tired of this. I don't want to feel guilty for being my own person.

I was discouraged from doing anything that didn't fit my Dad's image of me as someone who loves the simple life, despite that being the opposite of my personality.

The end result here is that I feel guilty doing things for myself, even when they're good for me, because I've been forced to think about others for most my life. I hide things from my family, like the trips I've taken, because anything that doesn't fit their image of me is either a waste that I'll be scolded for, or made fun of because apparently I'm not allowed to like things. I'm not supposed to have problems, or ambitions, or be anything in particular. I'm supposed to be ready to drop everything and do things for my family, even at a cost to myself.

[eshbaal]

T/W - Loss, Grief, Death There's no easy way to share the news I got yesterday, so that's why I state it plainly in the title and will state it just as plainly now.

My dear friend Markus Ekedahl, known here on tumblr as @lordsmaf, is dead.

He had stopped responding to me altogether on Discord about a week ago, which I naturally thought was odd since he and I have spoken practically at least once a day for the better part of a decade.

I tried to tell myself to not be silly and assume the worst. But still I wrote him every day and recieved no responses even when I said I was worried. So, yesterday, on my way home from another obligation, I started online sleuthing to find contact info on his family, and got ahold of his sister, who he has mentioned to me many times before.

She'd been wanting to get ahold of me, but was unsure how and well, she unfortunately confirmed my darkest fears.

From what she knows, it was sudden. Possibly a result of some underlying health issue. Nobody knows exactly what went on just yet.

I'm gutted, naturally. Markus and I knew eachother well. We were even on birthday and christmas gift basis even though we have only ever actually met a handful of times in real life.

He would have turned 35 on August 1st. I was pondering what I should get him "once he got back". I had practically started rehearsing how to tell him that I didn't care how long he was gone as long as he came back fine and well, in case he was sick or something.

I spent a good half hour looking at his icon hoping for a little red notification to pop up.

Frankly, I'd much rather be furious at him for some kind of sick joke than not have him here with me at all.

---

My thoughts keep going to content and media.

Brav and I shot the shit about media we both liked all the time, and he was as much of a #1 Fan and supporter of my content as he was a friend, always willing to take a look at my videos to try and spot errors before I uploaded them, and showing up for basically every stream I ever did, clipping anything remotely amusing from it. I always knew I was doing a good job if he was clipping up a storm on Twitch.

It was hard enough not seeing his name in chat a few days ago when I was unsure what had happened. It's going to be even harder now, even if I know he'd want me to keep having fun, even with the games I largely played because I knew he'd be amused to see how I reacted to them.

My last interaction with him was me telling him I was finally watching Caddyshack and finding it hilarious, and him responding "Oh yeah."

It probably seems silly that these are the things I worry about since in some way, they probably shouldn't matter. But at the same time, I really regret never getting around to watching some of his favorite stuff now - like JoJo, Gundam or Transformers.

I still plan to keep going on all of this when I can. Even finish the stuff I mostly did because I knew he'd enjoy it. I just need to be able to say it's for his sake without cracking first.

---

For those wondering, I did all the "right" steps almost immediately. I've visited my parents. I've told a few other friends. I've ugly sobbed, I've been angry at the injustice of losing friends at the way-too-early age of barely-34.

I've also had IRL friends who have dealt with their own losses this past year the phone, and one is coming to check on me tomorrow. I have several friends coming over for my own birthday next weekend, and I don't plan to cancel that.

Hell, I've even been able to laugh at other little silly things just a few hours after the bad news. Not that the sadness doesn't settle right back in shortly after.

But today is hard. Really hard. I keep swinging between pure lethargy and crying at random.

I just hope Markus knew that I loved him very much, somewhere between the avalanche of silly clips of terrible game and anime voice acting, the ridiculous tweets we'd both laugh at, or the cool little moments in comics we liked to share.

[the-firebird69]

So he wants to start another project within a project in Automotive trucks and other items trailers to move things the heavy stuff too it's important he wants to have huge factories that are laying dormant even in our area and outside it we have a ton of cars and it's more everyday and just sit there and he wants to hire people out here and it would really change the mood from this asinine talk and to have them tear in the car apart and have the parts go down a qc line there the guys tearing in part of the first ones if it doesn't pass it goes in to be shredded and they didn't start doing it but some of the motors might work and there is a way to test them and it's not hard and we're going to go ahead and do this this is one of the best ideas i've ever heard well to make a factory and you sort at each factory the type of vehicle and the year is a different line and really there's just certain cars there rare cars would have different several different factories or a few at the first and we wanna test it and start doing it the guy say they did it and they have data and they send the parts out and they refuse them a lot of times because of because of quality. And they sorted them pretty good but it's hard to get original parts about 30% were refused and it will probably increase as your car supply decreases it just keeps fluctuating but you still have enough parts to do the job but we'd be forced to go in because they're trying to target our people and it's something we really need and we would be able to figure out what they're doing but at the end of the line you're gonna run out of cars and you'll not be making parts but he's right right now you're just gonna choke it off and there won't be an in for the industry and those factories will have people who want to have the new parts and then warehouse or they'll assemble or they'll have part of the part business in making them and will make other parts this is a way to do it so I'm gonna submit it. And he wants us to set up a factory and he says they're not making many corvettes and the new Corvette goes back quite a few years he thinks almost a decade and it's true and he wants the guys to set it up and depart it out and they've been doing it in LA forever so he wants to get out there and start doing it and have several shops do it in an area for a particular car and Corvette would be one to do out there so now they say they've got the idea and they're gonna start doing it is there already is a plan to do it but we do understand it and we've run tests i'm gonna put that we move forwards this is a great idea and he came up with it before we did go through this before he remembers it till it's hard though in there so we're gonna go ahead and it's a nice idea the Corvette is a great touch there's not that many GT 40s no but the ones that they find they should do so hero Hera and it says hero so he leaves it there to show ppl and i had him put this statement in yes after...me Hera and he wants her to get involved and he hopes she does. this rocks we do this now

Thor Freya

we put it in to do and now

Nuada arrianna

and now ok all now Arrianna

and we men it

Lobo Proxima Midnight i hve my area i put in for it and that is how good

Olympus now alll lets mvoe huge factories willbe up. nad recycling madness. now ok need it ad we have tons. we use it nee it all and he is right the r ubber is better metal steel all is refined. event eh plastic interirio and we have some

[purplesurveys]

1885

What Happened In the Past Year?

How many relationships were you in? None. Haven't been since 2020 and I don't plan to change that.

What did you do for Valentine's day? I managed a Valentine's Day-themed event for one of my clients; my camera roll also reminds me that that same evening I went to Glorietta with my mom to try to find a gown that I intended to wear for a family friend's 18th birthday debut.

Did you receive your driver's license? I've had my license since 2016, so no. I didn't renew it last year either – that happened just a month ago since it only expired this year.

Did you graduate high school? I graduated in high school 2016.

Did you graduate college? Nope, that happened 2020.

Did you move out on your own? Nope, it'll be a while before I get to do that!

Did you get arrested? No.

Did you get a speeding ticket? I did not. Does anyone get pulled over for speeding in the Philippines ever? Haha but no that didn't happen and I fortunately never got pulled over for any reason last year either.

What was the best thing you got for Christmas? Airpods from my parents.

Did you fall in love? Nopes.

Did you become an aunt or an uncle? Nah, it'll still be a little while before that happens haha.

Did you have a baby? Definitely not me, no.

Did you get engaged? I did not.

Did you get married? No.

Did someone close to you die? Not really, but a childhood friend's dad passed away and I visited the family during the wake – my family and hers were definitely close during our younger years. It was the first time we met again after 15 years so to say it was a bittersweet reunion is an understatement.

Annoyingly small world, too – at that time my ex was a workmate of that childhood friend, so she also apparently was at the wake. Fortunately we never crossed paths as she was there hours before I was.

How many funerals did you go to? 0 funerals, 1 wake.

How many weddings? I knew a few people who got married, but I'm not close with any of them so I wasn't invited.

Did you turn 18? 7 years older than that.

Did you turn 21? 4 years older than that.

Did you turn 30? 5 years younger than that.

Did you have a car accident? Nah. The pandemic taught me to chill the fuck out so I definitely road rage a lot less – if not not at all. I'm super careful now even if it means being a bit slower and giving way a whole lot more.

Were you old enough to vote this year? I've been old enough to do so since 2016.

How many jobs did you have throughout the year? I got promoted twice in 2023 so that was certainly a fucking whiplash, lmao.

Did you get a new pet? No.

Did you get cheated on? Nope.

Did you cheat on someone? Also nope. I wasn't even in a relationship.

Did you start at a new school? No school for me anymore.

Did you make any new friends? Sure! All work people, but nonetheless all the new hires at the time were very easy to get along with and fun to talk to. Andi also introduced me to a few new people when we'd go to wrestling gigs, or, that one time, trivia night.

Did you get a new car? No, I'm perfectly happy with my current one.

Did you drastically change your hairstyle? Kind of. I mean technically I just re-dyed it back to purple, but it had faded to brown and I let it be brown for so long that the look felt completely new.

Did you go out of the country? Yeah, I had trips to Thailand and Malaysia.

Did you keep your last New Year's resolution? Sadly I didn't, because it was a particularly rough and draining work year last year.

What was the best movie you saw in theaters? I didn't watch anything in the cinema other than the theatrical screening of BTS in Busan, haha. And I loooooved that.

What was the best book you read? Probably just the official BTS memoir that came out that year which was also the only book I read in 2023.

What was your greatest accomplishment? Being able to save up for and plan a trip overseas for myself and my friends for the very first time.

What was the best CD released this year? Agust D, D-Day.

Did you get a new tattoo? No, and I don't have any tattoos.

A new piercing? Nope.

Are you still dating the same person you dated at the start of the year? I didn't date the whole year.

The Lasts of the Past

How old were you on your last birthday? I turned 25.

Who was the last person to tell you "I love you"? Angela.

Who was the last person you spoke to in person? I think it was my sister.

Who was your last missed call? Trina.

Who was your last phone call to? Also Trina.

What was the last movie you watched? My sister, dad, and I watched Moana a little over a week ago! I told them the sequel was coming out later this year so we thought of giving it a watch.

The last song you heard? Billie Eilish's Birds of a Feather is everywhere at the moment. I honestly don't mind though; I really like the song.

The last book you read? Becky Lynch's memoir.

The last place you went? I was in Glorietta yesterday for a few work things.

The last time you cut your hair? April.

The color of the last shirt your wore? Before my current one, my shirt was brown.

The last person you hugged? Anna, our newest team member.

The last thing you bought? I paid for my order of Muse, so there's that hah.

The last time you went to the doctor? Last month. Went to the dentist for my usual braces adjustment.

The last time you went swimming? Oh jeez, that I can't really remember. Swimming is so tiresome to me haha it involves so many steps and preps...maybe a year ago? Probably even longer than that?

The last game you played? RhyHi.

The last person's house you went to? I was at Angela's place last Monday to celebrate her passing the boards. And, unbeknownst to her at the time, I wanted to see her for the last time before she got proposed to.

The last un-related guy you hung out with? Hans.

The last un-related girl you hung out with? Anj, Reena. The four of us, essentially.

The last family member you hung out with? My sister.

The last movie you saw in theaters? I watched a snippet of You Got Mail when a client held a screening of it for Valentine's Day, but it was so deep into the story by the time I came in that it was hard to follow through and appreciate haha. I didn't spend too much time in the actual cinema and soon enough went back outside to check on all the events stuff happening there and make sure everything's running smoothly.

The last time you went to Walmart? We don't have Walmarts.

The last time you went to Burger King? We drove through one last Friday while on the way to Tagaytay.

The last time you went on vacation? Two weeks ago, to Vietnam.

The last restaurant you went to? Wildflour.

The last thing you ate? Seafood pasta.

The last thing you drank? Coffee.

The Firsts of the New Year

Who was the first person you kissed? Didn't kiss anyone then.

Who was the first person you told "I love you" to? I don't know...I don't think I said that to anyone during New Year.

Who was the first person you spoke to? I was with my entire family, so them.

Who was your first phone call to/from? My first call in 2024 apparently came from Bea. I have absolutely no memory of what she called for lmao.

Where was the first place you went? UP! January 1st, I dropped by and picked an isolated spot to watch the sun set from there as well. I had very weird, very restless anxiety coming into 2024 and UP has constantly been the one place that can calm me down like no other.

What was the first thing you bought? Probably food at UP, haha. I think I may have gotten street food? Or coffee? Can barely remember.

Who was the first person to wish you "Happy New Year!"? My family, to one another.

What was the first thing you ate? I have absolutely no clue. My mom probably made breakfast, so a good guess would be fried rice, eggs, and hotdogs.

The first thing you drank? I was drinking wine when the clock struck 12. I also dropped the wine glass and nicked my leg not long after, lol.

What color was the first shirt you wore? I had on a black dress since I had also actually come from an NYE street party event of a client. We were allowed to leave by around 7 PM, though, so we could be at home in time for the new year. I could have stayed and watched Red Velvet who were performing, but I do not always get my dad home for the new year. I was for damn sure going home haha.

What were the first shoes you wore? Idk it was probably my fave Onitsuka Tiger pair.

What was the first electronic (not computer or cell) device you used? TV.

What was the first movie you watched? No idea.

What was the first song you heard? I can't remember, but I think we had a New Year playlist going on on Spotify. We were probably listening to something that had the same vibe as Celebrate by Earth, Wind & Fire.

Who was the first girl you hung out with? My sister.

Who was the first guy? My dad.

The first relative? My entire immediate family.

What was the first thing you did when it became the new year? Watched the fireworks :)

What the Future Year Has In Store

What are you most looking forward to in the New Year? I had major anxiety going into 2024 because there was a bunch of work shit that was taking effect January 1st, all of which I was directly affected by. That said I needed a lot of distractions during the New Year and one of the few things I recall being excited about is that this is the year that Jin and Hobi were finally getting discharged, lol.

Are you getting married this year? No

Are you expecting a child? Nopes.

Will you be getting a new job? I was going to, because I had actually resigned for real at one point. But we worked around it and I'm still here and in a much better place, and with no plans to leave soon.

Will you be starting a new school? Nope.

Will you be moving to a new place? Not happening this year.

Will you get your driver's license this year? I did renew it this year, so that kind of counts.

Will you turn 18? Nope.

Will you turn 21? Nopes.

Will you turn 25? I turned a year older than that!

Will you turn 30? Not for another 4 years...

Will you turn 40? ...and not for another 14 years.

Are you going on a vacation this year? I already did. I'm done with vacations haha, it's back to work until the end of the year for me.

What movie are you most looking forward to coming out this year? Moana 2!

What book? None really.

What music album? Jin's :)

Do you expect to find love this year? No thanks.

Did you make a New Year's resolution? No. I was too depressed and anxious at the start of the year to make any.

Have you kept it so far?

Will you be going to a wedding this year? Nope! Not yet at least.

Will you get a new car? I am not.

Will you buy a house this year? Definitely not.

Do you expect to be with the same person at the end of the year? That's never the case, at least for me. I always come out of a year a little different.

Are you starting the year off single? Yes.

What do you most want to happen this year? Finding stability and satisfaction in my work. And going to more places I haven't been :)

What are you most excited about this year? My best friend's now engaged and idk how soon they'll start planning for their wedding, but I'm v excited to get involved and see how I can help!! :) :)

[familyofpaladins]

Random things from World Heroes Mission

(Spoilers ahead)

Action packed right from the very start

Also.. pretty dark beginning. Not gonna lie. A lot of innocent people die in brutal ways literally in the first 5 minutes

STEALTH SUITS! STEALTH SUITS! STEATH SUITS!!! :D

.... they wear them for like. 10 minutes. I'm so sad

Horikoshi sir. Please bring them back again. Pls

Also they never get called the musketeers at all, and I'm sad and lowkey mad about it

Ppgffhkcykxkhc WHEN WE GOT TO THE WHOLE "Deku is a wanted Mass Murderer" half the theater LAUGHED, even though it was framed very dramatically, because we all know it's just complete bullsh1t that deku would murder anyone, let alone innocent civilians

We get to see soem of his class react to the news and they all immediately go "No way!!! Midoriya would Never!!!!"

And I know a made a joke post a while back about, what if the class was just like. "Well hey if midoriya DID kill people I'm sure it was deserved". But the fact that they all just. IMMEDIATELY defended him, saying there was no way it was true, without knowing anything about what happened?? I'm just 🥺. They have so much faith and trust in each other 🥺🥺😭 I love it

PpfFLDJSOWNSJAK PART THAT KILLED ME THO- Todo is literally on the phone with deku asking what happened to him (they got separated chasing down robbers)

Deku explains what happened. TV immediately does the Mass Murderer report

And todo goes "Midoriya. What did you actually do??"

Ppffohfkgxgjxgkf TODO DONT YOU TRUST YOUR FRIEND?!?! I'm sorry it just killed me 🤣

RODY SOUL IS A GOOD BIG BROTHER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM

also Parkour KING

Hes able to dodge Deku, who has Full Cowling AND Blackwhip!!!!

Someone PLEASE take the "Parkour. PARKOUR. Parkour!" Vine and dub it over his scenes , because that's all I was thinking about

PINOOOO

I dont think I've had a favorite quirk before. But I sure as heck so now, and it belongs to one of the villains (bow hand lady)

WHUMP. Soooooo much whump. Theres also a lot of blood. Too much blood. How tf are you guys a live by the end of this movie honestly???

Deku gets hit by an arrow at one point, and very Nice piece of whump. But the whump lover in me wishes they had done a little more with it, but oh well

I DO wish we'd gotten to see Todo and Baku react to finding out he'd been hit. But oh well. It still might not have been all that dramatic. They might have just gone "well you're still breathing and we have a job to do so suck it up!!!" that'd probably be bakugos reaction anyway lol

Bakugo, multiple times: DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!! >:O *does it anyway*

The tuskhfjgsugfohcfud scene of shouto hearing from deku and bakugo just walking into the room, but todo immediately grabbing his arm like "come now. We're going to find midoriya" and just draggin him out of the room. I love it

Todo: Midoriya, didnt you learn anythign from hosu?! You're codes are shit!!

He didnt say "shit" but he might as well have. The audience died laughing

.... does bakugo know about hosu????

We actually got to see some pretty cool new moves from todo and baku that we really haven't seen in the show

So like. Thank you for giving todo more moves than just. Ice Wall and Wall of Flames

He shot out flames from his fingers and it was hot enough to melt through metal/the wall 👀

Big Bad Villain: I'm rubber and you're glue! What ever you do bounces off of me and sticks to you!!

That's basically his quirk. And force or contact deku tries to make gets sent back at him. So he basically gets hit with his Own Smashes

So what's he do??

HITS HIM HARDER

DEKU. MY BOY. MY SON. WTF

I mean.... I guess it ended up working. (Parallel to All Might beating the nomu at the USJ)

Super Sayian Deku makes a reappearance

Halfway through the movie: deku, hey rody what's you're quirk? We dont get to hear what he says

The girls sitting next to me in the theater *whispering*: ????!?? So what's the quirk??!?! WHATS THE QUIRK?!?

Near the end of the movie: Pino expresses his actual thoughts/emotions

I want to rewatch this and pay more attention to how pi o reacts to things

Oh dang. Now I'm thinking about the scene where Rody tries to turn over the briefcase behind dekus back. But pino was yelling at him

He was arguing with himself!!! He knew he shouldnt do it!!! He really didnt want to!!! Pino woke up deku to stop him!!!! Aaaaaaaaaa I'm Emotional now 🥺🥺😢😭

Also at the end when rody and deku are saying good bye, and Rody's all like "yeah stay in your own country, you cause so much trouble 🙄"

But pino is all 🥺🥺😢🥺😢🥺😢🥺

AND THEN THEY HAVE A NICE HUG AND DEKU SAYS HE'LL VISIT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm gonna cry

Also before all that happens, right after they save the day, they sit there and start laughing a little hysterically. Me: that's the blood loss laughing. Seriously boys GO GET SOME HELP

Todo, Baku and Deku each get a big fight scene near the end and was very cool, but I wish they would have worked TOGETHER more

Like... COMBO MOVES

Bakugo ends up fighting his battle right outside the entrance to the bad guy headquarters and basically Collapses the entrance way on the bad guys

Me: Well I Sure Hope theres a back entrance, cause otherwise you just buried your friends alive my dude.....

Also I think he might have actually killed those villains 😳. I'm not sure. They could have survived, but also..... literal tons of rocks fell on them

I NEED A DELETED SCENE FIC OF THE BOYS BEING FOUND BY PARAMEDICS PLEASE

Bakugo and Deku lost So Much. SO MUCH BLOOD!!! How are you alive!!?!??!?! And Todo fell off a WATERFALL. How did they even manage to find him?!?

Oh is bakugo getting healing kissed by recovery girl and being mad about it just gonna be a thing now in the movies? I can accept that lol

Also.... did .... Recovery girl just. Fly halfway around the world to specifically heal Them?? Was she all ready there??? I have questions. Recovery girl has favorites

Ya know... they never specifically showed Deku being cleared of the Murder Charges (its assumed, because we see the evil police guy (who is the one we assume set up the framing) being arrested, that hey obviously this guy was trying to stop the heroes and framed a kid to stop them).

But like..... what if they didnt really make an announcement to the public to be like "hey btw that Japanese hero actually isnt a mass murderer, he was just framed by the corrupt police"

And the next time Dkeu comes to visit, he still gets looks of "wait shit. Didnt he murder people???"

And poor deku has to be like "No!!! I was framed and set up!!! I helped save the world!!!!"

I just think it'd be funny

Also I dont know if actual people died, and deku was framed for it, or if they just. Completely made it up. They dont say when or where these people were supposedly murdered

Idk this has been a lot I'll shut up for now (in this post anyway)

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!

[titioosstuff]

https://www.hexham-courant.co.uk/news/18785082.tv-highlight-prepared-laughs-taskmaster-returns-screens/

Alex and Greg discuss Daisy May Coopers advanced pregnancy and their concern that her fits of laughter would be her going in to labour.

"When we got to about episode 9, we're thinking: 'Well now, this would be a good story'... we'd have been the worst at delivering a baby," says Horne.

"We are not a good paramedic team. You wouldn't want this combination turning up in an emergency," agrees Davies.

As for whether the pair would ever consider brushing up on their first aid skills?

"When you're giving birth, you don't want a man with a stopwatch and another man shouting... Maybe this interview could answer that question? Maybe women giving birth could let us know if that's what they actually needed? Maybe we'll become professional birthing partners?

"I'm ready. Call my agent."

And since I read this I can't get this idea out of my head. Because, you know what? As a pair I think they would be excellent doulas.

Yes, Alex seems to be embarrassed and uncomfortable with any sort of contact with women (other than his wife, I'm presuming). And it wouldn't be ideal if he approached a woman in labour with the same energy he had when he ate the mask off of Katherine Ryans' face.

But! Someone with a stopwatch is really really good to have around during delivery. It's very helpful to time the contractions. And I think Alex is a meticulous orderly man with a sense for details. There are things that needs to be done at certain intervals, in specific phases, and that it is important to keep track of.

Yes, one would want him to have read a book of some kind on the subject before it starts, but he has three children, which makes me think he once read all the books about it. And having a calm person with a clipboard and a stopwatch keeping track on what's going on and thinking about what's going to come next is a really good thing.

When it comes to Greg shouting it very much depends on what he's shouting about.

During hospital delivery being an advocate for the person giving birth is a very important job, and I for one wouldn't have minded one bit having someone on hand that could if necessary bellow down hospital corridors for help, or who could glare threateningly at people for me when needed. Being in labour is a very vulnerable process, and a strong support network is important.

But I don’t think he would shout that much. When Jessica Knappet fell off the stage he lunged forward immediately to check on her and help her up. No shouting at all, and no hesitation.

Most of all Greg could be an absolutely awesome physical support. There is a lot of leaning on people and getting around in increasingly difficult and ridiculous positions. Kneeling, squatting, laying on your back with your knees up, standing on all four - all the while having contractions, being in pain, and with a cumbersome, heavy body. Giving birth is a miracle, but a rather awkward business all around. So having Greg there, a great cuddler with massive strength, would be perfect. He could support and hold up and be safe to lean on.

The pain part is important too. Both of them seem fine with the two things that tends to be the most discouraging when it comes to giving birth. The first one is that it's painful, and the other one is that it is messy.

Gregs' happy sadistic chuckles might not really come in to play when it's this kind of pain, but I can't really imagine him freaking out about it either. He seems to be able to bear other peoples discomfort in a perfectly calm and balanced way, whether it's physical or emotional. Yes Alex of course, but in the Taskmaster-setting I also come to think of when Iain Sterling found it genuinely hard when his volcano fizzled out. Greg dropped it and moved on, neither stressed about it nor pushing the issue.

Alex is the one who thought up and carried through with tasks that for example required people to roll through geese droppings, drink vinegar with a straw, rub onion and chilli in their eyes, crawl with bare legs over gravel and just generally be uncomfortable, stressed out or in pain.

While he observed them holding a stopwatch and a clipboard. That makes me very calm when it comes to his ability to endure standing with his clipboard and observe the painful and absurd process of childbirth without freaking out.

And the messy part shouldn't face either of them. During a birth there will most probably be every kind of bodily fluid; feces, vomit, urine, blood, everything. But on the other hand, the same is true about any series of Taskmaster.

For better and for worse I wont be giving birth to any more babies, so I wont be able to test this theory. But if Alex and Greg set up shop as professional birthing partners I will definitiely recommend them to my pregnant friends.

Come on guys! You can do it!

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [three] // daisy johnson

summary: when you're out chasing a story that leads you to the unanticipated hands of HYDRA, you certainly don't expect to be rescued by a girl you presumed dead for nine years.

warning/s: descriptions of violence, torture, injuries.

author’s note: here’s the next part, hope you all like it!

part one | part two | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

Nine years later...

"I'm meeting with my contact now. He said he knows something about the weapons."

"Okay, just make sure you're safe, Y/N."

I smiled with amusement. "I always am, Taylor. I think this could be the source to break the story though. I'm gonna try and get them to speak on the record."

"Just be careful," he warned.

"Will do," I promised, before checking my watch for the time. "Okay, I gotta go. See ya."

"Good luck," he finished, and I hung up before putting my phone away.

Looking around, I saw the village was quiet seeing as it was pretty late and everyone was in their homes. It was the perfect place to meet with a source for my story on human trafficking.

I headed down the street and waited outside the apartment building for my source. I had no idea what he looked like, but nobody else would be out this late into the night, so he couldn't be hard to spot.

A few minutes passed before I saw a guy approaching me, holding some files in his hands. I straightened up and held his gaze as he stopped before me. He glanced around before looking me up and down.

"You are Y/N?" he asked with a Burmese accent.

I nodded, speaking fluent Burmese as I said, "Yes. You must be Ohnmar? We can speak Burmese if you prefer."

"Okay. We talked earlier, but it wasn't safe then. I have information on the missing residents," he answered in Burmese, before shaking the files. "It's all in here, but you mustn't open it until you get home."

I accepted the files and nodded, though was mildly confused. "Is it about the labour they're doing? I have a theory, but I have no proof. I... I think it might be HYDRA."

He pursed his lips and I figured he was confirming my thoughts, which concerned me.

"I'm right," I realised, before moving to open the file. "I need to–"

"You should've stayed away," he suddenly said in English, and I looked up in confusion.

Before I could question him, he pulled a gun from behind him and hit me on the head, knocking me to the ground. I tried to blink my eyes open, but my vision was blurred and I eventually blacked out, unable to stay awake any longer.

I woke up in a dark room with an aching head and confused mind. It took a moment for me to catch myself up, but I soon realised I'd been tricked by my contact. I was so easily fooled and I felt stupid as I hadn't seen it coming, instead too blindsided by my need for information.

Looking around, I realised I was tied to a chair. The only light in the room was from a single electric lamp plugged in the corner, shedding light on the damaged walls and, to my dismay, a HYRDA logo.

"Well, fuck," I mumbled, before shaking my wrists to try and get free, but they were tied pretty tightly with rope, making me shift uncomfortably at the chafing.

Panic started to set in when the door slammed open in front of me, flooding the room with light and making me close my eyes with discomfort. I heard another slam and opened my eyes when I saw the door closed behind whoever entered.

Two people were in the room and one of them turned the lamp, shining it in my direction and also revealing my assailants' faces. One of them was Ohnmar, my contact, which I guess wasn't his real name. The other wasn't anybody I recognised, and they were both wearing uniforms with the HYDRA logo on the pocket.

"I wouldn't try to escape if I were you," the fake Ohnmar said.

I clicked my tongue and looked between the both of them. "I'm guessing I got a little too close to the truth which is why I'm here. Right?"

"You've been putting your nose in where it doesn't belong," the other guy said. "Did you really think you would get away with this? That we'd let you write about this?!"

I flinched at his loud volume before clearing my throat. "I didn't think I needed your permission. And in case you didn't notice, it's my job to report on this."

Fake Ohnmar scoffed. "We don't care what your job is. Now tell us what you know and what you've told your superiors back home."

I narrowed my eyes. "Do you really think this is the first time I've been captured? I've spent nine months in this village. If you think I'm going to throw that away for you, you better think again."

Fake Ohnmar's friend cracked his neck, pacing with discomfort, before pulling out a gun. I chewed on the inside of my mouth, nerves settling as I tried not to show it.

"We have someone going through your electronics as we speak," he told me, gripping his gun. "Your superiors will get their updates as expected, but you won't be giving them."

"Look, you're gonna kill me whether I tell you or no–"

I was cut off when he smacked me across the face with his gun, making me see stars momentarily. I felt something warm gush from my nose and realised I was bleeding.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with," he muttered, his face inches from my face as he stared me down threateningly. "Now tell us what you know of the missing villagers."

I wiped my nose on my shirt the best I could and chose not to speak. They couldn't do much without knowing what I knew. Everything I'd learnt had been sent back home to the news organisation I worked for, and if I didn't get back to them or call them, they'd know what happened.

"Two things I despise," he mumbled with irritation. "Journalists and Americans." He waved to his friend dismissively. "She won't talk. You know what to do."

Fake Ohnmar nodded obediently before suddenly punching me in the face, once again, leaving me dazed. This went on for a while, him beating me up as an attempt at torture, before the two of them left me alone to 'think about' if I wanted to tell them.

I had been in this situation, surprisingly, two times before in my journalistic career. Both times I was able to get out either by escaping myself or managing to get found by the authorities. Of course, in this case, the latter seemed impossible, so my only hope was escaping myself.

I looked around, but realised I was in too much pain to hatch a plan right now. They'd done a good job on me, and I was sure my ribs were bruised pretty badly. Honestly, I didn't expect nine months of investigative journalism in Myanmar to lead to HYDRA of all places.

—

"You've beat me, starved me..." I coughed because of how dry my throat was. "I'm not talking."

Fake Ohnmar placed something rectangular on the table in front of me. I realised it was my laptop – they must have taken it from where I'd left it in the room I'd been renting downtown.

"You're clever, I'll give you that," he said, crossing his arms and shaking his gun impatiently. "Where did you learn such complicated encryptions?"

I couldn't help but smile when I knew he couldn't get into my laptop. At least not the parts that exposed what I'd learnt so far.

"You do what I do and you learn from past mistakes," I told him, making him clench his jaw.

It wasn't much, probably the only trick in the book I knew as I wasn't exactly an expert with computers. Clearly it was benefiting me today though.

He slammed his hand on the table suddenly, making me jump. "Tell me the password, now!"

I licked my dry lips, choosing to stay quiet. I began to wonder just how advanced these guys were if they couldn't even afford to get a hacker to break through.

"So it's gonna be like that," he said with a shrug, before pointing his gun at my face.

He flicked off the safety and I closed my eyes as calmly as I could, already saying my goodbyes in my head. A few days in a HYDRA cell was like weeks anywhere else. I'd accepted my fate.

I expected the shot to go off any minute now, wondering what things would be like afterwards. Would it hurt? Would it be an instant death?

I certainly didn't expect my left ear to be ringing as an excruciating pain shot up my neck from my shoulder. My eyes opened and I tried to breathe through the pain whilst hoping my ear would stop ringing. The man began to laugh, but I couldn't hear him, only see his evil smile.

When I looked down, I saw blood seeping from a bullet wound in my left shoulder. Despite my experience in this profession, I can't say I'd ever been shot before. It certainly hurt a lot more than I'd imagined.

"You talk and I get you patched up," he said when my hearing returned to normal. I looked up and saw him watching me with narrowed eyes. "You stay quiet and we see how long it takes for you to bleed out."

I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut to contain the pain, before opening them again.

"You're gonna move operations," I realised aloud. "You want to know whether you can. Because if I've told them about you, you know you can't stay here much longer. And if I haven't, you just get rid of me."

He squeezed his gun with irritation, watching as I spoke the truth.

"But either way I die," I repeated. "So why the hell would I want the last thing I do be to help you?"

He grabbed the laptop before kicking the table away with anger. "Call when you feel like talking. We can make your death quick and painless or long and painful."

I smiled bitterly as I watched him leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I released a deep breath as I looked down at my shoulder, trying to make out the damage. I didn't know much about first aid, but I was pretty sure there was no exit wound meaning the bullet was still in there. That was good, right? Or wasn't it...? I couldn't remember. I just knew it hurt like hell.

—

Hours had passed and I began to hallucinate. Silly things like cheeseburgers and dancing water bottles – lack of food and drink, the blood loss and the heat was making my head spin. I wasn't sure if this was where I wanted to die – in a small, dirty, hot room by myself. Was it worth it? Dying over a news story?

Of course it was. I pursued this story after some social media posts about disappearing villagers in Myanmar. I stayed here nine months with each day leading me closer and closer to the supposed human trafficking that was going on. I got to where I was because I wanted to get justice for those who suffered and stop anyone else from suffering. Yet the only people who knew were my editors back home, and I wasn't sure they'd ever know the full truth.

It was better than helping the enemy though.

Just when I thought cheeseburgers were the worst of my delusions, I saw a face I hadn't thought about in a long time. A person who I least expected my mind to drag up in a time like this.

The door opened and I was sure I was going to be questioned again, but in ran none other than Skye. The same Skye who had ran away all those years ago and wasn't to be found.

She looked a little older with her shorter hair, but otherwise she was just as I remembered.

"Hey, I'm gonna get you out of h– Y/N?" she started, before furrowing her eyebrows with confusion.

She even sounded the same, and if I could feel anything at that moment, I'm sure I would've felt my heart beating quickly at the sight of her.

"Can you hear me?"

I began to laugh with what little energy I had left. Is this what it was like to die? Seeing things that you'd pushed down for so long to stop your heart from hurting? It was strange. Why was my mind playing with me like this?

"Y/N, look at me, can you hear me?!" she asked quickly, grabbing my face and forcing me to meet her eyes.

I continued to laugh because it all felt so real. Her touch, her voice, her eyes that peered into me. I wished it was because maybe after all of these years I could have made things right.

—

"Miss, can you hear me? Y/N?"

I blinked the tiredness from my eyes and opened them, trying to remember what was happening. But I was confused and my body was numb and nothing made sense.

"Y/N, sweetie, can you hear me?"

I turned my head, realising I was laying in a bed. There was a woman beside my bed – a doctor, I presumed – staring down at me with a friendly smile on her face. I nodded slowly, my mouth dry.

I couldn't remember getting out of that cell, being rescued. Unless I wasn't rescued and this was still a trap.

At this thought, I widened my eyes and tried to move, panic setting in, but I was attached to a bunch of tubes and my body was still numb.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," the doctor tried to reassure, resting her hands on my arm, trying to keep me still. "You're safe here. You're on a S.H.I.E.L.D. quinjet. That's like a plane...? We got you out of that HYDRA cell and I've bandaged your wounds. You don't need to be afraid anymore."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her, but something about the way she spoke and the kindness in her eyes made me relax.

"My name is Agent Simmons," she introduced as she grabbed something from beside me, "but you can call me Jemma."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. On cue, she held a glass of water towards me and helped me sit up enough to have some from the straw. It felt good to have actual water in my system after not being given anything the past two days.

"Not too quickly," she said gently. "Take your time."

I listened to her before laying back down. It took a few tries, but I managed to get out, "Thank you, Jemma. I'm Y/N."

"Y/N Y/L/N, investigative journalist for the New York Times," she stated before an apologetic expression crossed her face. "Sorry. Facial recognition an' all... I hope that doesn't freak you out."

I sighed, not the slightest bit surprised. I knew enough about S.H.I.E.L.D. to know they had the resources to know exactly who I was.

"I don't remember you getting me," I said with confusion. "How did you I know I was there?"

Jemma took a seat on the stool beside my bed. "Well, technically it was Quake who got you out. We had reports of HYDRA activity in that area for a while and we knew an American journalist had been taken, but we didn't know it was you."

I nodded, though I was still confused. "Who's Quake?"

Jemma chuckled, thinking I was joking. But when I met her eyes with confused ones, she lost her smile.

"You're serious? You don't know who Quake is?"

I shook my head. "I've been in Myanmar for nine months, and not in the most advanced areas. I haven't had much access to American news."

"Seriously?" she asked with disbelief, before putting her arms out and shaking them. "Earthquake-causing, vibration-manipulating, tremor-shaking superhero Quake?"

I raised an eyebrow judgementally, making Jemma lower her arms sheepishly.

"Oh, well, she's a hero that works for S.H.I.E.L.D.," she explained.

I nodded slowly, deciding that was something to ask more about later on. For now, I was more concerned about my story.

"You said S.H.I.E.L.D. had been watching that area for a while," I recalled. "Does that mean you found out what happened to the missing villagers? I got as far as working out HYDRA had been using them for some sort of forced labour, but never beyond that."

Jemma got up from her stool and busied herself with other things. "I, er, that's actually classified...? You see, it's not good if we tell you, especially as you're a journalist..."

"But it's my story," I countered with annoyance. "I've been trying to work this out for almost a year. I deserve to know the outcome. Did you save those villagers? Were they all alive? Did the local authorities know?"

Jemma seemed to be getting uncomfortable the more questions I asked and I forced myself to sit up, groaning at the ache in my shoulder.

"You can't hide this from me," I told her. "Please, just tell me."

She grimaced. "It's not my place. I'm not in charge–"

"Then tell me who is!" I shouted with frustration, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just– I've put a lot of work into this and it can't just be taken away. I need to know what happened."

She nodded, avoiding my eyes for fear I'd get angry again. "Look, I can talk to my superiors and find out what I can say. For now, you should really be resting."

I leaned back and breathed out slowly, already feeling my fatigue catching up to me.

"Okay," I said quietly, before asking, "You said we were on a plane. Where are we going?"

"That's actually classified as well," she said regretfully, making me sigh. "We're going to our headquarters. But after that, we'll be taking you home or wherever you want us to take you."

At the mention of home, I grew hopeful. It had been so long since I'd been back. I wasn't exactly in the right state to be living by myself, so I was glad that I had made the choice to leave my flat and move in with my parents before leaving for Myanmar. Plus, I had missed them dearly. To be back there was almost unimaginable.

"Can I ring my parents?" I asked hopefully. "Just to let them know I'm okay? And that I'm coming soon?"

Jemma nodded, offering a small smile. "Of course, Y/N. I'll go grab you a phone."

She left the room momentarily and I took that as my chance to get a good look around. It looked like a hospital room you'd find anywhere, except without windows and with card-activated doors that had tiny glass windows showing a narrow hallway. I didn't get to look around for too long as Jemma returned pretty quickly, handing me (what looked like) a normal mobile phone.

"I'll give you a moment of privacy, but please only call your parents," Jemma warned as politely as she could.

I cracked a small smile. "What – are you guys tracking the phone or something?"

She chewed on her lower lip as she looked down, making my smile fade as I realised that's exactly what they were doing. I wasn't surprised, I guess.

"Right, okay, no other calls, got it," I agreed with a nod.

She left me to it as I dialled my mum's mobile number and eventually spoke to both her and my dad. It was emotional to say the least, as I tried not to worry them too much without withholding the truth. They knew when I was lying so it was better to just be honest. Of course, they were happy to have me stay at theirs until I was back on my feet and the call ended with my mum scolding me for not resting as the doctor recommended.

Finally succumbing to the tiredness I was feeling, I fell asleep for God knows how long, but when I woke up, I felt more refreshed. Similar to before, Jemma was in the room, checking some charts. She caught my eye when I woke up and smiled reassuringly.

"Feeling better?" she asked, setting down the chart and rounding the bed.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks... how long was I asleep for?"

"About six hours," she guessed, waving her hand. "We've landed at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ and our agents are debriefing. Once everything is sorted here, we can take you home to New York and arrange a driver to take you to wherever you want."

"My parents' house," I clarified.

She smiled and nodded. "Right. Your parents' house. How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up and she helped me as I smiled gratefully in return.

"I'm not gonna lie, being shot hurts like a bitch," I admitted, grimacing as I glanced at my shoulder and arm in a sling.

"First time?"

"And hopefully the last," I retorted, before looking to her. "How long will this take to, y'know, get better?"

"Well, I'll need to keep you here for observation over the next few days," she explained. "When I'm happy with the outcome, I'll send you home and you'll need fortnightly checkups at the hospital. Overall I'd say a month? Maybe more if there's no... er... other issues."

"I know you mean PTSD," I told her bluntly, before frowning. "Doing what I do requires knowledge of that."

"There's going to be support available for you, both here and back home," Jemma reassured, resting a hand on mine and offering a small smile. "You're not alone, Y/N."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "I know... I know. Thanks."

She nodded and moved to the other side of the room to grab something, before wheeling a tray of food over to me.

"Hope you're hungry," she joked. "It's nothing fancy, but it's pretty good."

I smiled and accepted the food. "Means a lot, thanks."

I took a bite out of my sandwich as I remembered something. When I finished chewing, I wiped my face with the napkin before looking to Jemma who was at her desk.

"Er, Jemma," I called, making her look up. "Did you find out what happened to the villagers?"

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I've spoken to my superiors. I know you've been working on this and I'm only permitted to tell you so much."

I waited patiently, not wanting to snap at her like last time.

"The missing villagers were in fact taken by HYDRA, like you predicted," she explained. "They were forced into labour at a facility that was under the guise of a food warehouse."

"What was the labour?" I asked curiously.

She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't tell you much, but I can say that it was a nuclear weapon that could've hurt a lot of people. S.H.I.E.L.D. managed to stop it before they could finish it, which is when we found out that a journalist had been taken. That was when we came for you."

I released a deep breath, definitely not expecting that. At least they had been stopped.

"Did the missing people return to their families? Were they okay?" I asked hesitantly, remembering the many families I spoke to of the missing. I'd grown attached and I don't think I could have taken more bad news.

"Most of them, yes!" she exclaimed hopefully, but I could tell the following news wouldn't be good. "But not all of them were okay. There's some psychological damage and unfortunately physical damage, too. HYDRA did a number on them."

I massaged my head with my right hand, trying not to get upset, but the guilt in the pit of my stomach wasn't helping. I had one job, literally, and I couldn't even do it right.

"Y/N–"

"Do you have a list?" I asked, cutting her off. "A list of who made it?"

"Y/N, I don't think–"

"Please," I pleaded. "I spoke to the families of those who were missing. I got to know them. I need to know who's not getting their loved ones back."

She frowned, but nodded slowly. "I'm sure I can do something."

I sighed and my shoulders sunk with disappointment. Just another day on the job.

—

It had been a few days since being rescued by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I was itching to get home, but Jemma insisted I be observed for at least another day.

Under different circumstances, I would have been eager to explore the quinjet and get more information out of Jemma about her place of work, but I was too exhausted to care. Instead, I revelled in being taken care of and having a break from work.

I was laying in bed, reading a book, when Jemma walked in and caught my attention. I tried not to bother her as she was clearly working on other stuff, but it got pretty boring sitting in a room by yourself all day.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, lowering my book.

"Hello," she returned as she took a seat at her desk, going on her computer. "You doing alright?"

"As alright as I can be, considering," I said, shrugging with my right shoulder. "Just a bit bored."

"The book not good?" she asked, nodding to my hand.

"I've read it," I admitted. "I just didn't wanna be a bother and ask for another one."

She chuckled. "You could have said something."

"It's okay," I assured her, before leaning back. "So, up to anything fun?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Are you seriously that bored?"

I nodded, pursing my lips, making her laugh. Eventually, she stared at me curiously.

"There's actually something I wanted to ask you," she admitted, crossing her arms and leaning back on her chair. "If you don't mind."

Wanting any distraction from my boredom, I nodded. "Go for it. I'm all ears."

"I've been reading some of your work," she shared. "You're really talented and you've been through your fair share of tough scrapes."

I chuckled. "I guess, yeah. And thank you. What's the question exactly?"

She looked at me like it was obvious. "What made you want to do this as a job? Investigative journalism?"

I played with the corner of the book as I answered thoughtfully, "Well, I guess I've always enjoyed writing and delving deep into stuff. The important stuff, y'know?" I looked down at my hands as I remembered Skye. "There was actually this girl I knew back in school. She was a friend and she, er... she was always wanting to find and expose truths. About herself, the world... I guess she kind of influenced me in a way."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I remembered my hallucination. Skye seemed to be coming up a lot more in my life lately, more than I was prepared for.

"I'm guessing she isn't with you anymore," Jemma realised, expression softening. "I'm sorry."

I forced a small smile, looking up and shaking my head reassuringly. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."

Jemma smiled in return, but I could see the pity present in her eyes. "I'm sure whoever she was, she'd be proud of you now. For everything you've done."

"Thank you, Jemma, but I... I'm not too sure about that."

"I am."

I froze at the sound of a familiar voice. Was I hallucinating again? No, that couldn't be. I was getting better. But that sounded so real...

"Proud of you, that is," the voice continued, and I risked looking towards the door where I saw none other than Skye standing there with a nervous smile on her lips.

When I met her gaze, I knew she wasn't a figment of my imagination. Those piercing brown eyes couldn't be fake.

"Hey," she got out, barely a whisper.

I licked my lips and tried to look away, but my heart was suddenly racing in my chest. She was just how I saw her last, but I guess that had been real now.

"I should give you guys a moment," Jemma said, pulling me from my reverie and making me look away.

She walked out, past Skye, leaving us both alone. I was still in shock though, too startled to say anything.

"How are you?" she asked gently, and I still couldn't believe I was hearing her voice after all these years. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I know this is strange, but–"

"Strange?" I finally found my words, eyebrows raised. "What exactly is strange? The part where I'm sure I'm seeing a ghost right now as I you presumed you were dead after not being able to find you for years after you left, or the part where you've probably been at S.H.I.E.L.D. the whole time and didn't bother to tell me you were okay? Which part is strange exactly?"

She frowned guiltily, eyes falling to her shoes. "When I left–"

"Ran away," I corrected her, bitterness slashing through like a sharp knife, surprising the both of us.

She glanced at me, nodding. "Right... when I ran away, I left you a message."

I almost laughed, a sarcastic smile on my lips. "Don't even get me started on the excuse veiled as a message you left me. The cowardly way out you took because you couldn't face me."

She met my gaze nervously. "I didn't think you'd be this angry after all this time. It happened so long ago."

"Of course I'm angry!" I shouted with frustration, making me grimace at the pain in my shoulder, but I didn't stop. "You left without a single trace of Skye or Mary left behind! You left me with nothing but concern for your wellbeing! I thought you were dead!"

I hadn't realised how I angry I was after all this time, but it made sense. When she first left, I always imagined what I would say to her when I found her again, what our reunion would be like. But when the years went on and I accepted she was truly gone, all of that worry turned into bitterness and resentment. And now, seeing her here... I was furious.

"Y/N, I know you're upset, but–"

"Just get out," I told her with a glare. "I appreciate you saving me and all, but get out."

"Y/N," she pleaded, but I looked away and pressed the button on the side of my bed.

Jemma soon returned and looked between Skye and I with confusion and reluctance.

"Everything okay here?" she asked.

I looked up and met Skye's guilt-filled gaze. "My shoulder hurts."

Skye seemed to get the hint and nodded once more before finally leaving the room. I breathed out a shaky breath, before swallowing the lump in my throat and letting Jemma help me.

I couldn't believe she was back.

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: Change is due

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Reader

Pov: Reader

Warning: Fighting, Swearing, fluff, angst, Dean being a douchebag, guilt.

Summary: What about talking instead of fighting.

Word Count: 1.8k

A/n- This is for band-pyschos 1.5 followers bingo writing challenge. This makes me sad, but whatever.

Square- "Stay with me"

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

Tag list: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @wonderfulworldofwinchester @doctorlilo @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski

The drive to the bunker was quiet. The rev of the engine. The downright scariness of the way that all I could hear was the passing of other vehicles on the road. That sound too eventually stopped as the driver back to the bunker was much longer than originally anticipated.

Dean had a temper like nobody's business. The temper of a wild dog, or maybe it was a wild bear. Regardless Dean's temper was downright scary most times. But then again most times that temper of his was never directed towards me.

Yes between miniature fights, and getting annoyed with each other fights did occur, but nothing too bad. You see, three years into hunting and now living with the famous Winchesters. I had fallen deeply for Dean Winchester.

Falling for someone is an already dangerous game, but falling in love with a Winchester. The most hunted after, hunters of them all that was a dangerous game to start playing.

I played the game regardless. Can you imagine falling for someone so much that your worlds just connect so well? Like amazing jigsaw puzzle pieces. Or maybe falling in love was like finally figuring out the correct word in a crossword puzzle.

Like Forrest says "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're going to get." I would have never been able to tell you that when I was a little girl playing in my room running around in the pure white dress that I would one day grow up kill the monster that haunts this earth, and fall for the most righteous man, the fallen soldier, the best hunter I had ever met.

Could you imagine a six-year-old, coming up to their parent and saying that one day they'd fight monsters, and fall in love with the greatest monster hunter of them all. In your dreams.

Life with the Winchesters was most of the time pandemonium. Life with them was like living in the thunder dome. Like driving on the icy roads and hoping that you don't fall off the cliff. But life was calm sometimes, being able to have a half-assed normal life was good for all of us.

Sam was the best brother a person could ask for. The best friend a person could ask for. I think the moment I met the Winchesters, Dean and I were like magnets dragging each other together. Slated to be together for the rest of our lives, soul mates if you will.

This last hunt was nothing like we had ever dealt with before. So many children had been killed. I had put myself in the way, getting hurt instead of letting more children get hurt. A natural mother... or maybe just a natural instinct of a woman.

Dean, of course, was anger like normal, but usually, his anger would blow over and we'd either make-up or like the band, AC/DC says "You shook me all night long".

this night was different though. Something was off, something felt wrong. Yes, the drive was long and very fucking quiet but something in the air felt wrong. I'd like to think that I'm a tough cookie, a queen disguised as a princess.

I always think that Dean forgets that the reason he and I get along so well is that we are almost alike, in almost every way. We act the same way, love the same things, react the same way. Two peas in a pod if you will.

Dean tends to forget that when he gets angry, but comes to his sense rather quickly after, he either gets blown off, or the subject gets changed, something that he does often to Sam or me. In the situation where he knows he has no control, or where he is uncomfortable, feeling like he's being pushed into the corner.

I used to let Dean act like a douchebag. I let Dean get mad, yell, throw things, get in my face. But recently. Dean's anger has been out of this world, too much to bare, too much to handle. he almost turns into the hulk. It's like he forgets his normal manners and just wants to hulk smash literally everything around him.

How do you make someone realize what they are doing? How do you show someone how they are acting is affecting you?

Finally after what felt like days, but was really just hours of driving we pulled into the garage, the sound of the engine bouncing off of the cinderblock walls. During said drive Dean and I made eye contact once, his green ember eyes staring deep at me through the rear-view mirror. My own eyes making sure to stare at him with just the same amount of deep soul searching Dean was.

Sam steered in his sleep, the coldness of the garage and the car smell waking him from his sleep. Not a single word was said. Sam was the first one out of the car, opening the impalas back, grabbing his bags, and making a rather quick exit of the garage.

Neither of us moving from our spots. We sat in silence. A silence that's a funny word if you think about it. It the most screamed word when you're being told to be quiet. But it weighs heavy between two people.

Fighting was and has never been my style with Dean. Dean wants to yell and be an idiot then I'll let him be, but I won't go without saying my peace. I'll get up and leave if I want to. There's nothing holding me to the man, an argument is just a battle of words.

Finally, Dean moves, moves to look in the back seat. His eye passes over my figure like always. Passing by over my crisscrossed shins up to my jean-covered thighs, over my hips, up my t-shirt and flannel covered belly, up to my tall shoulders, and to my face.

The little light that was streaming into the impala's backseat. "Why?" Was all Dean said, staring at me. I chewed my lip thinking of anything to say. "Stop chewing on your lip. It's finally started to heal." Dean said.

Still, my body stuck in my crisscrossed position. I heard the creak of the impala, as I saw Dean shift from the front seat to the back seat. "I'm pretty sure that I just told you to stop doing that." He said bringing his thumb up to my lips, gently pulling down releasing my bottom lip from my teeth.

"What were you thinking?" Dean asked picking once again at the issue at hand. "I was thinking about the children," I said looking at the man next to me. It was quiet for a moment, then a heavy sigh filled the air.

"The children?" Dean said questioning me. A cocked-eyed eyebrow raised in confusion to my answer. Sometimes it's like my answer is either not good enough, or isn't the right one. "Yes, the children," I stated calmly.

"I'm getting confused here Y/n," Dean said shifting causing the smallest of creak from the old impala. "I stepped in front of the children," I said.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that but why?" He asked. This firstly is going calm, and Dean's asking questions just before assuming shit, but why does this seem odd, kinda like all of the sudden protecting the young kids isn't enough to get a few scrapes and bruises.

"Did the great Dean Winchester just ask me that?" I said now turning the tables and questioning him. "Yeah, I did." He said so cut and dry-like. "You really wanna know why?" I asked

We were still sitting in the back of his precious car. I had rested my head on the headrest, closing my eyes. Dean was just staring, it had become a bad habit of his after we got together.

"Because Dean those kids didn't deserve whatever that monster did to them. Hell, I just pulled ten kids out, you and sam pulled at ten each. Can you even imagine that, because I can. Being so scared that I can't even protect myself." I said.

Taking a deep breath in and sighing loudly.

"What are you talking about Y/n?" Dean asked, looking at me now with more intent. Wanting yearning to get to the bottom jar of worms we had so carefully opened.

"You know what ignore me, it doesn't make any difference," I said uncrossing my legs and turning to unlock the back door. I was stopped before my fingertips even grabbed onto the cold metal on the handle.

"Do you remember that promise you made me? All those years ago." Dean said, pulling me into his warm touch. His scent of bourbon and wood fell down around us. "No, I don't Dean," I said honestly confused about what I had promised.

"You promise me that whatever was on your mind you would come to me and talk about it. I know six years is a long time, but that day you promised that you've never broken that promise." Dean said while he drew small circles into my lower back.

"Tonight though right now, you're breaking that promise. You don't have to give me every single detail but just don't go walking in front of a monster because you don't know what else to do. You know that you can talk to your boyfriend right?" He said questioning me towards the end.

I only shook my head in response Dean took that as his sign to continue talking. "I just, I'm fearing that you're starting to drift away, and honestly Y/n. Honest;y Y/n I don't think I would know what to do without you." Dean said.

This is different, new, and odd. This Dean is someone who only comes out when the world is ending or the tears are about to be shed for the umpteen amount of time. This Dean, this is the Dean I fell in love with. "So make me this promise now, stay with me," Dean asked.

"Stay with you?" I asked, "Of course stay with you, I guess I just have to learn to be able to ask for help, right Dean." I said hugging him from the awkward position we had fallen into when he pulled me away from the back door.

"No more running, no more fighting alone. We do everything together now." Dean said, cupping my slightly tears stained cheek." Bumping our foreheads together in a sign of good faith you could say. I hummed and returned the favor.

Moments like this the calm, and the quiet. These were those times where I felt at home. I've realized with this job, hunting home isn't a place with four walls and a roof over your head it's about the people in your life. Make a home with the people who care about you. Make a home with the people you would fight anything to hurt, Make home able to be anywhere.

And when you can do that finally you can make home turn into love, and love into strength. Having all three makes you happier I'd like to think in the long run of things. So just "stay with me" that's all I'm asking of you, the rest we can do together.

Completed on: 05/06/2021

*Happy Throwback Thursday*

[beneathashadytree]

ASLEEP - GAVIN BAI X READER

Warnings : making out but nothing too heavy, mentions of underwear but it's not gender-specific, reader is gender-neutral as always!

Genre : just comforting fluff, some spice if you squint

Word count : 1.9K words

Synopsis : Gavin's been away for a month, and his fiancé/e misses him more than they thought they did---which, really, already was a lot.

Additional notes : I dedicate this to @cheri-translates who'd been awaiting my works so patiently, so I wanted to treat her for being an angel with a piece for her best boy!

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

It wasn't uncommon for Gavin to be gone for weeks on end, maybe even months as the missions got prolonged. It was entirely out of his hands; he couldn't help the fact that threats from evolvers were become even more and more widespread and fatal. That was the harsh reality of it, and that reality kept prying us apart.

His job meant that he replied to their every beck and call, and at any time as well. It didn't matter if he was fast asleep at 3 AM mid-winter, or if he was halfway through a scalding hot shower after a work-out in the early-morning; if he was called in for duty, he was forced to drop everything instantly and tug on his STF uniform before tumbling out of the window.

So essentially, him being an Evol agent meant that a slightly-frustratingly-great number of our dates were interrupted with his cellphone ringing, and an apologetic look would be sent my way as a frown etched itself onto his face. No matter how many time's I'd tried to reassure him and tell him that it was alright, that I knew what I'd signed up for when I first got together with him, he'd still always feel guilt eating away at his insides for being busy so often.

And that had indeed happened just little over a month ago; our night out at the movies to see the new rom-com in cinemas (which Gavin most likely wasn't even an ounce interested in but went along with it since he doesn't ever complain, the poor sweet thing) had been cut short by a muffled phone call that had him rushing out of the hall and mouthing a quick, "I'm sorry," before I could hear the familiar flapping of his jacket as the wind picked up outside.

I wasn't in the least bit bitter about it, though I did often catch myself over the course of the following weeks hoping that things would've been a bit easier on us both---particularly him, since the reason we'd gone to the cinema in the first place was that I'd taken notice of the sheer exhaustion radiating off of him.

He'd done his best to placate me every now and then with the occasional call or text whenever he'd had any down-time, a reassuring 'I'm fine. I've been eating well. I miss you,' always spelled out for me. It's true; the words were somewhat relieving and did warm my insides, but I'd never be fully at peace without being able to see him with my very eyes and trace every inch of him with my hands. I think he knew that well enough, despite his insistence to ensure that I'd been briefed.

Snuggled underneath layers of comforters and content with the book I'd been reading with the nightlight, I wasn't about to get up any time soon. The serene atmosphere was a contrast to the scurrying that I'd done earlier to shower after work before making it in time to catch the episode of the show I'd been watching (I felt terrible watching it on my own without my fiancé, who'd certainly feel somewhat betrayed, but this loneliness wouldn't do).

Before I could sigh happily and sink further into the mattress, completely engrossed in the book, a light tap on my window roused me from my half-stupor, and suddenly I was far more alert than I'd been for the past god-knows-how-long.

Not being able to put down the book fast enough, I scrambled out of bed to find myself right in front of the glass that separated me and my wind-battered fiancé. Unable to hold back my excitement, I unlatched the window, allowing him to step in and shut it behind him.

"I'm ho---mph!"

Before he could say another word, I swooped in to kiss the lips I'd missed so much. Humming in delight after the initial surprise, his calloused hands wrapped around me and pulled me in tight, one gently massaging my scalp, while my own hands cupped his face gently, not completely oblivious to the fact that his now-slightly-tanned skin had multiple new scratches on it.

Eyes fluttering open once more as I pulled away, I peered closely at him, trying to intake him in my breathing, it seemed. Gavin's hair was completely windblown, and---sounding a little lovesick, might I add---I giggled as I took the liberty of flattening his bangs down and combing through the soft tresses. He looked worn down and significantly thinner than I'd last seen him, but aside from the few surface wounds that were already no more than scars, he didn't seem to require any medical attention, and that at least made me feel more at ease.

Even when he'd undoubtedly been through hell and back and probably felt more exhausted than he'd ever let on, those amber eyes still held the same youthful passion as they always did. He subconsciously nuzzled into my hands, his own pulling me impossibly close.

"Missed you," his voice held a lingering sweetness that was transfused into my body as his lips fell on my forehead in a tender kiss.

Barely holding back my excitement at finally having him in my arms after being separated for so long, I could practically feel stars forming in my eyes as I pushed him back gently onto the mattress, my breath hitching as I was reminded of how incredible he looked with mussed hair and flushed cheeks. Even the tips of his ears were tinged a furious red, and he grew more aware of how warm he was getting.

His arms limply fell from my waist, hands instead reaching up to cover his mouth bashfully at my sudden display of boldness---though at this point, he probably wasn't all too surprised, considering that it wasn't the first time I'd decided to take matters into my own hands and pinned him down underneath me.

"I missed you more, Gav, I can't believe you're finally here!" as much as I tried, I couldn't conceal my excitement, and it seemed to infect him as well because he smiled fondly and decided to pull me against his strong chest once more, earning a protest from me, "Wait, you're not hurt here, are you?"

I began to quickly scan his torso, earning a rumbling chuckle from underneath my wandering hands, "Nah, it wasn't too difficult this time, so I didn't get hurt---aside from the odd scrapes here and there," he paused, before a long finger nudged my chin upwards, his voice dropping a couple of octaves, "Hey, look at me."

Complying, I found myself trapped in an alluring gaze. That familiar intensity was something I could never escape, and I could very easily read every demand written in his eyes. The first order of the night was a firm albeit unspoken 'Kiss me,' and I couldn't possibly deny him of that.

Capturing his lips in mine once more, his palms splayed against the small of my back, gently kneading and massaging the warm skin there, the intimacy lingering in his touch earning a choked out moan from me, having not realized just how much I'd truly missed my lover's touch. Taking advantage of my half-open mouth, Gavin's teeth playfully tugged at my lower lip, a brief warning before his wet tongue soothed the slight burn, then swiftly slipping inside my mouth.

Without realizing it, I'd begun to shift and furrow my eyebrows as my skin began to burn, my hands rubbing the broad planes of his chest from ontop of his white t-shirt, coaxing a low groan from him as my fingers brushed deftly against him. His tongue entwined with mine, tasting every crevice of my mouth, and the feeling of being so incredibly molded into one another had me almost dizzy.

If I could map out his entire body with my touch, I could. While his kisses were sinful, his entire being was angelic and comforting in how sturdy it was. As our lips sucked and teeth clashed and tongues slurped in a rather wanton mess, my hands were too busy etching his beautiful face into my memory.

He pulled away to inhale sharply, a shuddering breath leaving him heaving and my mind clouded in a longing and lustful haze.

"Gimme a second, alright?" I whispered croakily, my voice already expressing how overwhelmed I was.

He nodded in tandem, his hand seemingly reluctantly letting go of its possessive hold on me, but his eyes still trained on me as I hopped off of him, stumbling a bit as I was still in a daze and causing him to laugh airily that very same laugh I'd missed hearing so much.

Padding over to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and stood in front of the mirror, wincing at the sight.

"I love you Gavin, but what on earth were you thinking, making out with me when I'm in this state..." I mumbled under my breath, chortling as I tried to brush my hair or at least flatten out the unruly mess that it currently was.

Opting to spray a few spritzes of his favorite perfume on me, I giggled a bit to myself, a smirk coming onto my face as I pulled out the navy blue silk underwear I'd tucked into one of the cupboards (after I'd learnt the lesson sometime last year that Gavin had odd times of wanting some private time with me, and I'd had to surprise him with his favorite pair on me---much like I did now).

Unbuttoning my pyjama shirt and pants so I could slip into the smooth cloth, I took one final glance at the mirror, winking at my own reflection as I covered myself as teasingly as I could with my favorite robe. Finally satisfied with the vixen that looked back at me, I walked out of the bathroom with a slight spring in my step, eagerness causing me to nearly pounce back into our bedroom.

"Got a surprise for... you..." the words died in my throat, replaced with a chuckle.

There on the bed, still in his rumpled back-from-a-mission-but-too-lazy-to-properly-dress attire, lay Gavin with his eyelashes fluttering and nose twitching adorably, fast asleep and even snuggled deep into the comforter, humming a bit in his sleep---which was probably due to the fact that the sheets smelled like me, and my fiancé had admitted before that familiar scents always drove him into an easy slumber. A soft smile on my face at the sight that pooled warmth in my heart, I hung up the robe behind the door and trudged over to my side of the bed.

He didn't even twitch a muscle as the bed dipped with my weight, which was quite unlike him, considering the fact that the brunette was usually a terrifyingly light sleeper that awoke at the smallest pitter-patter of an ant. I shuffled around a bit, getting comfortable before my arms crept up from behind him, wrapping him into a tight embrace (he never seemed to complain about being the little spoon; in fact, if his shy gaze in the early mornings was anything to go by, he probably liked it more than he let on). Pressing my lips to his temple, I too closed my eyes, relishing in his presence that seemed to magically make everything right oh-so-effortlessly.

"Sweet dreams, handsome."

Taglist: @thispersoniscrazy

[mypimpademia]

Worth It.

Shinso x reader

TW: Swearing, reader steals a man, pure bad bitchery

Note: this concept has been in my head for literal MONTHS and now I'm finally writing it bc i had no idea how to before (i still dont know how to write it as I'm writing this, I'm bouta wing it like a mf)

I made Intelli the mean girl for this fic bc she a bitch fr

A college AU but its hardly relevant + a lil smau

Towards the end of writing this, I started hating it. I'm so sorry😭

I recommend this song too bc this is where the idea for this fic came from:

This was getting annoying to watch.

How long was Hitoshi planning to stay miserable with that girl?

Intelli and Hitoshi have been dating for awhile now. You had honestly never liked her, but you just barely tolerated her for Hitoshi. But only a few weeks into their relationship, things went to shit.

Intelli became overly controlling over him, and even tried to force him to stop being friends with you, and some other people. You, being his best friend, told him to break up with her.

Of course, Hitoshi agreed that it'd be best to do that. But not even a few hours after talking to him about it, he came back to say it didn't go as planned.

Intelli was holding blackmail over Hitoshi's head, and posed a huge threat to his dreams of becoming a hero. Most of what she said she'd expose was no where near true, but with her intellect she could easily make people believe it.

But frankly, as their relationship went on, the sight of even a strand of her hair made you want to either puke or fight her.

"Toshi~" Intelli cooed, coming up behind Hitoshi and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Hitoshi visibly cringed, but tried to hide it as best as he could.

"Hey, babe." He boredly muttered, doing a terrible job at faking any enthusiasm.

Unlike your best friend, you made no effort to hide the disgust you held for her sheer presence.

"Y/n..." Intelli muttered, her tone dripping with distaste for you, making you scoff. "Mind if I steal Toshi for a bit? No? Thanks-" She attempted to drag Hitoshi away by the arm, but you placed a firm hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"I do mind actually, we were in the middle of a conversation before you interrupted." You told her. She chuckled, before tugging on Hitoshi's arm more.

"Yes, but he's my boyfriend-" She attempted to give reason for her to take him away, before even Hitoshi stopped her.

"I've got a project I need Y/n to help me on, I can stop by your dorm later though?" Hitoshi suggested, lying through his teeth.

Intelli's eyebrow twitched, but she gave in, letting go of his arm. "Bye, Toshi." She said, kissing Hitoshi's cheek and looking you up and down, before walking off.

"Sometimes, I can't tell if she's just plain a bitch or if she's secretly a dumbass." You sighed. "Maybe she's a little bit of both..." Hitoshi chuckled, making you laugh with him.

"You really need to find someone new." You told him, shaking your head. "I know, but I'd rather not chance losing my dream career." He groaned.

"True... Whats your type anyways? I know its not Intell anymore, she's probably traumatized you." You giggled.

"She did, but I think my type is someone who can really understands me, and someone I can have fun with." Hitoshi said.

"Like a best friend?" You questioned him. "Yeah, exactly like a best friend. That'd be my perfect version of a s/o." He replied, expression growing soft.

Since Intelli and Hitoshi's relationship had gone down hill, you've been there for him more than ever. It eventually lead to this unspoken romance that constantly roamed between the two of you.

But because of Intelli, neither of you pursued it, for the wellbeing of Hitoshi.

"Well, if I were you, I'd find someone and just make sure the bitch doesn't find out." You told him. But if you were being honest, it was more like a suggestion, because he really did need, and deserve someone other than Intelli.

"Like cheating?" He gawked. You were both thinking the same thing— Intelli would likely find out. But it was better than simply being stuck with her, so you nodded.

"Well, I'd at least make sure the other person knows. But it'd be worth it."

'I'm worth it.' You thought.

You sighed, looking down at your phone, the time on your phone displayed.

"Shit, I've gotta get to class, we've got a guest lecturing us and my professor will tear me a new one if I miss it." You told him, stuffing your phone into your pocket.

"See you later?" Hitoshi asked you.

You were about to say something about how he told Intelli they'd hang out later, but decided against it.

"Yeah."

◇◇◇◇◇◇

You sighed, feeling your tired feet throb as you walked down the hall to Hitoshi's dorm. Taking one of your backpack straps off your shoulder, you began rummaging around the pocket where you usually kept the spare key to Hitoshi's dorm.

You blinked, as you weren't able to find the key in the small pocket. You began searching your entire bag in the middle of the hallway, taking nearly everything out.

"Shit." You mumbled, thinking you had lost it.

Then you remembered, 'Thats right, I was in a rush this morning. Its on my desk.' You thought to yourself.

Like hell you were going all the way back there though.

You placed your items back into their bags, then pulled out your phone to text Hitoshi.

You hummed, rocking back and forth on your heels as you waited for the door to be opened.

A moment later, you heard the lock click, and the door swung open.

Hitoshi looked you up and down before smiling. Then looked both ways of the hall, before tugging you into the room and shutting the door.

"Why are you treating me like a side piece or something?" You questioned him.

He hummed in confusion as he locked the door.

"Does it feel like that? Sorry." He apologized. "What did she do this time?" You asked, referring to Intelli, as she wash the only person the put Hitoshi this on edge.

"She said if we were doing anything other than a project we'd break up, and you know what that means." He told you, shaking his head.

You hummed, and pulled out your phone.

"What are you doing?" He asked, peering over your shoulder.

"You'll see." You blunty told him.

You sent your message, and tossed your phone onto his bed.

You grabbed onto Hitoshi's collar, tugging him towards you so he was looking you in the eyes, making his breath hitch as his face tinted red.

"You're crazy if you think I'd get you snitched on." You playfully consoled.

"What did you do?" He questioned again, watching you flop down on his bed as you kicked off your shoes.

"I texted Monoma and Momo to post about a project on private snap that only has Intelli on it so that it'll be more believable." You told him.

Hitoshis eyes went wide, as he mentally questioned how you came up with that so fast.

You patted the space next to you, beckoning him to sit with you.

He sat down, shaking his head and laughing.

You and Hitoshi talked for hours and hours, but it each flew by. When you finally checked the time, you barely had enough time left before dorm visiting hours were over.

"What? Already?" Hitoshi gaped, as he watched you sling your backpack over your shoulder.

"Mhm." You hummed.

He groaned, clearly not wanting you to leave, but sat up anyways so he could come see you out.

Hitoshi unlocked the door for you, but upon opening the door, you were both met with an unwanted sight.

"Hey Toshi!" Intelli greeted, completely passing over you even though she saw you.

"H-hey, Intelli." Hitoshi spurred, trying to keep composure.

"I came to help on the project. Even Momo was complaining, so I thought you could use some help." She offered, clearly not convinced that there was actually a project.

But like you said, you weren't going to let him get caught.

"No, we finished it." You told her bluntly, folding your arms across your chest.

But clearly, Intelli didn't plan on letting up either.

"Well then, I could proof read the written portion." She insisted, taking a step towards you.

"We already did that already."

"Well I'm sure there are some mistakes."

"We triple checked."

Hitoshi looked back and forth between the two of you, silently preparing himself to break up a fight.

"You must not get what I mean—" Intelli straightened her posture more than it already was, and leaned towards you. "There's probably mistakes because it was you helping him." She mocked.

Hitoshi already had a hand reaching for your waist, ready to pull you back in a situation where you lunge at Intelli.

"You wanna talk about mistakes? How about we start with you, bit-" Before you could take a single step towards her, you were being pulled back by your waist.

"Watch your dog, Hitoshi." Intelli retorted.

Damn, was she lucky Hitoshi could hold you back.

"At least I bite, unlike some people." You shot back. She narrowed her eyes, leaning towards you again.

"Y'know Y/n, you're not as good as everyone thinks you are. Everyone thinks you're so great, and nice, but I know how you really are." She said.

"You only think that because everyone's not you. Its no goddamn wonder your blackmail folder is thicker than you." You hissed.

Intelli, clearly flustered that you even knew about her blackmail folder, stood straight again. She crossed her arms and cleared her throat slightly.

"You think youre so much better than me. A better person, a better best friend, you probably think you'd make a better girlfriend too, right?" She asked you.

"Of course I do, who the hell wouldn't?" You chuckled.

You felt Hitoshi's grip on your waist loosen. Either he was getting just as angry and was going to let you fight her, or he thought it the tension was thawing.

"Alright, since you're so much better than me, show me." Intelli insisted.

You smirked. "Alright, you asked for it."

Slipping out of Hitoshi's grip, you turned to face him.

His brows raised in surprise and confusion. And next thing he knew, you had him by the collar for the second time today.

But this time, your lips were pressed against his.

It took him a moment to process, but soon, he melted into it. Moving in sync with you, he placed his hands back on your waist.

As much as you wanted to continue, you still had to tell that bitch off.

Pulling away from Hitoshi, wiping away the string of saliva that connected your mouths, you turned back to Intelli.

You walked straight up to her, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Toshi doesn't react like that when you kiss him, does he?" You hummed, hearing Intelli audibly gulp.

"Like you said, I'm a better person, a better best friend, and a better girlfriend." You repeated her words from earlier.

"I wouldn't lie to him, expose him, whether what he did was true or false, and i wouldn't hold him back from doing what he wants." You taunted.

"And the thing is—" You leaned in, next to her ear.

"I dont think it, I know it."

"I'm perfect for him." You whispered to her.

Intelli nearly toppled over in defeat, leaning against the nearest wall to support her body.

"Anyways, see you tomorrow, Toshi." You mused, before walking away.

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The next day, you met up with Hitoshi in your free time like usual.

You were aimlessly walking around campus, talking about random topics, laughing as you watched random people do stupid things, and just having fun.

Except now, you were hand in hand, and the air around the two of you seemed lighter. And the look of adoration you and Hitoshi shared was more evident.

But in the middle of it, of course, something had to happen.

Intelli had stopped you both in your tracks, her brainless groupies behind her.

"Did you know everyone is talking about you, Hitoshi? And with all the things they're saying... you might not be able to recover from it." She said snarkily.

"Not too worried about it actually." Hitoshi admitted, a slightly bored tone to his voice.

"Tch, well you should be. So tell me, was she worth it, Hitoshi?" She inclined.

Hitoshi looked over at you, a grin spreading across his face.

"Hell yeah."

[doodleferp]

Finally got around to making a ref for Grace! (edited to add the format i came up with) Her backstory's under the cut!

Why'd You Make Her?: I like comics. I like Doctor Doom. And most importantly, if I ever end up in my dream job of making a comic series of my own, it's great to practice making characters to fit in a comic book setting. Grace is, in a way, a therapeutic oc for me and a way to help me grow as an author/artist.

What's Her Deal?: So Grace is a lot like Marceline the Vampire Queen in terms of personality -- she's slowly evolving from an ADHD memelord to what we'd call a "functioning adult", so she's still figuring a lot of stuff out for herself. Before she got pushed out of the country, she had a job at a publishing office. In terms of her powers, Grace is still figuring out all her limitations and what exactly she can do with a reality-warping supercube for a heart. She can fly and use energy beams and constructs and all that cool stuff that would otherwise be classified as "magic". But if the Cube is removed, she will definitely die if not put on life support like immediately.

Since there's already a crap-ton of stuff in the canon Marvel Comics universe (Earth-616), Grace and her story takes place in its own little universe, which I've dubbed Earth-71835. Feel free to figure out how I came to the designation!

Do I Ship Her?: Yes. As with a lot of my OCs, I am a serial shipper. Grace in particular is shipped with Doctor Doom, but in-universe she's had a girlfriend in the past.

What's Her Story?: So Grace is a Latin-American lady born and raised in Tampa, Florida. Her parents divorced when she was around eight-nine, and they both remarried by the time she was a sophomore in high school, with Grace getting a pair of older maternal stepsister and a younger paternal one. Her dad's new wife had a huge problem with her (due in large part to Grace's undiagnosed ADHD) and they still clash to this day -- but the biggest incident is that her stepmom convinced her father that Grace wasn't really his kid in part to her not having eyes like his or her bio mom (a side-effect of the cube), and this got Grace thrown out of the house. Grace lived with her mom and maternal stepfamily for the remainder of her childhood, and even though by now it's been proven through DNA tests that her dad is really her dad, there's till a big wedge between them thanks to her stepmom's histrionics.

When she was a baby, several AIM scientists took her from the maternity ward, mistaking her for another baby they had chosen for this very experiment, and removed her heart and replaced it with a Cosmic Cube to study the effects of such a thing. While they were busy watching their test baby, Grace grew up with wildly-fluctuating superpowers. One of these fluctuations, at age 31, teleported her to Latveria, where she met Doctor Doom. Grace offered herself up as a test subject to avoid being incarcerated, and what followed was a currently five-year entanglement that has ended with her dating the mad monarch. After their relationship was made public before they were ready, SHIELD did everything short of actually throwing Grace in prison until she cracked and made for outer space. Doom found out where she went, was able to find her and calm her down, and convinced her to come live in Latveria, which is where the Twitter posts start. If I ever get around to finishing the run-downs of their story, I'll be posting a bunch of stuff on Ao3.

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Crows Headcanon: Wesper Headcanon (Wylan Van Eck and Jesper Fahey)

If you’d rather read this and more Crows headcanons on ao3 here’s the link.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Previous Chapter (Chapter 5)

Chapter 6 (the chapters aren’t related and do not continue the story, each can be read separately)

Wylan

It was inevitable. Their first fight. Of course, they'd fight at some point, living together. It began as everything does, small and barely noticeable. There would be tiny squabbles about clothes strewn about in the room, trinkets never returned to their places. Then it grew and grew, never-ending poisonous vines wrapping around them, strangling them. They spent every moment apart thinking of flaws with the other and every moment together pointing it out.

Just this morning Jesper grumbled about being too warm when Wylan woke up wrapped around him in the morning (even in sleep, his body knows what it really wants, too bad his mind isn't as smart right now). And Wylan knew, he <i>knew</i> that Jesper probably meant nothing by it. But his mind immediately began spewing venom into his heart. <i>You will only ever be a burden. He says he loves you, but he's already tired of you. How much longer do you think he'll stay here when he could have anyone?</i> But he's stubborn and strong and, he refused to show his heart because what else is that but an invitation to stab? So he pulled away and said, "Fine, then. If it's such an inconvenience then I won't touch you at all." And he walked out of the room, tears stinging in his eyes.

Jesper

I know I messed up. I've been messing up constantly. All of this is so new to me. I didn't know it would be this difficult to stay with someone. I've shared so many beds but I've never before shared a room. I didn't realise that it would bother someone else that my clothes aren't always in the cupboard. At first, it frustrated me that he would find faults with me all the time. It reinforced those voices in my brain that told me that I'd never be enough. So I took out those frustrations the way I always have, in cards and drinks and coins.

For a while, it was fine. I thought I'd fixed it somehow. Then, he started noticing more money missing. And he was so so angry. What else did I expect from a bomb-maker, if not an explosive temper? I knew that it wasn't working. I knew it was wrong. I knew that it wasn't truly helping me at all. But it scared me, terrified me that he'd already noticed all the worst things about me, and had to be stuck with that all the time. I realised then that this wasn't going to last much longer. So I gave up. I stopped trying to fix anything between us and just continued to feed the fire. If this is going to end anyway, what was even the point? What would be the point of telling me to please stay, please let me stay? How could I even convince him? He'd seen the worst things, the darkness behind my flirtatious smiles. He's let me stay for months now, and he hates it. He hates <i>me</i>, here. What could I ever do about that?

Even this morning, I complained about being too warm when he'd wrapped his body around me. I'd just gotten up, and for a single moment, I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten that we'd gone from being lovers, loved, loving, to...fighting. I'd forgotten that every word would be taken as a bullet. He'd flinched away from me (it made my heart <i>hurt</i>) and snarled, "Fine, then. If it's such an inconvenience then I won't touch you at all." And he'd stormed out of the room.

I raised a hand automatically, about to stop him. But what could I say? I'd only ever been good at destroying things, not fixing them. So I dropped my hand and laid back on the bed, eyes closed to keep the tears in, not succeeding in the least.

Wylan

It got so bad that even Inej and Kaz began to notice. They'd visit from time to time, either for his help or Jesper's. And naturally, they felt the crackling tension in the air. They never said anything about it, but he could see them exchanging glances, communicating in that way that only they could. It reminded him of the way he and Jesper used to communicate. The gentle brushing of their hands, stray touches on the elbow or shoulder, and he had to stop and take a deep breath to clear the constriction in his lungs.

They were both so tired of fighting all the time that even that had stopped. He never thought he'd miss fighting, but he did. At least then, Jesper was paying attention to him, even if he was smirking thoughtlessly. But now, nothing. They simply avoided each other around the house. He'd enter the kitchen, and Jesper would walk out. Jesper would enter our bedroom, and he'd leave. Even at night, Jesper would stay out so late that they never went to bed together. They did still sleep in the same room, the same bed. They still had that, but he didn't know how much longer even that'd last. So when he inevitably woke up first every morning, he'd stare and stare and stare. He'd caress every inch of Jesper's brown skin that he could see, just with his eyes, hand itching to touch.

He made sure never to get close to him, knowing that he wouldn't be able to let him go. He'd latch onto him and hold on forever.

Jesper

The silence was so loud it was deafening. It made his hair stand on end. He hated this silence, but he also didn't know how to break it. It'd grown so huge, a looming monster growing between them, and he knew no way of vanquishing it. So he let it be. He let Wylan avoid his touch like he had something contagious, and he let him keep as much distance as he wanted, even as his heart shrivelled every time it happened.

The only way he now knew to protect his heart was to stay out of the house. He didn't think that he'd ever need to protect his heart from Wylan. He couldn't believe that this is what it'd come to.

He came home every night, skin chill from the wind outside, aching to sink into Wylan's warmth and knowing he wasn't allowed. So he stared and stared and stared and drank whatever warmth he could from those bright curls and freckled skin. And in his dreams, the only thing he saw, over and over again, were those azure eyes gazing at him like they once did, in love.

Kaz

He'd had enough. What now that they didn't have any problems those idiots decided to make some of their own? He would not let this stand, not a chance.

Inej

She knew that gleam in his eyes. He had a plan, and since it was Kaz's, it was expected that it'd be devious. But, she knew for once that it was with the best of intentions. So she listened attentively when he told her and smiled a tiny proud smile when he was done.

Wylan

It was an overcast evening, and he shivered as he made himself a cup of hot chocolate. Jesper was out, of course, doing whatever he did every day. He didn't know. How could he if they didn't talk anymore? So he took out his flute and tried to practice, tried to ignore his trembling hands. Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door. He dropped the flute and ran for it, only taking a second to check who it was. Inej.

He yanked open the door. She wouldn't bang it like that if there wasn't an emergency. She looked worried, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide.

What's happened?" he asked.

"Jesper...he's missing," she said, suddenly wilting. His heart stopped.

"What?" he whispered, his voice breaking.

"Kaz needed him for a job, so I went to get him. I checked all his usual joints, and he wasn't there anywhere," she looked pitying now. She'd definitely noticed the way his skin grew paler. If even the Wraith couldn't find him, where could he be? What-what could've happened to him?

"But," she said and he perked up immediately, "we think we know who could've taken him."

It takes them half an hour to make a plan to rescue him, hoping desperately that they were going to the right place. Inej instructs him on which bombs they need, and they set off.

Jesper

It can't be true. It could not be true. Not again. Kaz just told him that one of his rivals had kidnapped Wylan. They were now waiting for him to come to them and demand the ransom. How could this have happened? Why Wylan? He hoped with all his heart that they were at least treating him well, knowing that that wasn't very likely. As they sat there, a fire burned in his belly. He felt hatred rise like a storm inside him. He would not be merciful with whoever had kidnapped Wylan.

He didn't understand how Kaz could just sit there, relaxed as though nothing had happened. No, he knew that maintaining a veneer of calmness would make it easier to negotiate with the kidnapper. But he still couldn't stop his fists from clenching and his jaw from tensing. He tried to breathe deeply, telling himself that the kidnapper wouldn't kill Wylan because that would get him nothing. Wylan would be okay. He had to be. He couldn't die. He couldn't die, with Jesper not able to recollect the last time he touched him, the last word he told him.

So they waited. Jesper grew more and more jittery, legs shaking and fingers tapping and fidgeting. Kaz somehow grew calmer and calmer, cane resting gently on his lap, utterly in his element, ready to do his part.

When the outer door slammed open, Jesper stood up abruptly, and Kaz gripped his cane tighter. The door opened and in came charging...

Wylan

Finally, they got through the gate, and the soldiers posted outside and entered an empty room. He didn't waste a second. The moment he noticed the other door in the room, he rushed at it, pushing it open. And there he was. He ran to Jesper and hugged him, holding on so so tightly. He was so relieved to find him that he didn't even wonder why Jesper wasn't tied up and gagged.

"You're okay, you're okay," he chanted, under his breath, still unwilling to let go of his sharpshooter. Jesper held him in return, nestling his head in Wylan's curls, speechless for once. After a few minutes, or seconds, or hours, or an eternity, he pulled back a little to see Jesper wide-eyed, looking at him like he was a ghost.

"I'm sorry," they both blurted out at once, and they laughed and sobbed at that.

"No, no, I should be the one to apologise. I'm so sorry for being such a mess. The clothes and my other things and the gambling. Oh, I knew I needed to stop, and I couldn't and then- and then-" Jesper babbled.

"No! Don't be sorry. I'll help you, we'll do it together. Okay? I'm sorry too. It was all so perfect, and it scared me. I was so scared that you'd leave that I nearly drove you to leave myself," he said, staring right into Jesper's eyes so he'd understand.

"Okay. But just so you know, I never would've left," Jesper tells him, looking back just as intensely.

"Okay. That's good," Wylan says, chuckling, suddenly embarrassed.

Jesper tilts his chin back up and gazing into his eyes the whole time, kisses him. Wylan responds ravenously, and well...it all works out. They remind the other that they love them, that they always have and always will. And when they realise what Kaz and Inej tricked them into, Wylan is outraged, and Jesper just laughs and laughs and laughs (Wylan then kisses him, hearing the laughs echo in his heart).

Next chapter (Chapter 7)

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