#been crying for 30 minutes now
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oh my god. yall. ive got an interview tomorrow. im so relieved, i feel high. im perfect for this position and havent had money in years. if i can just get my feet under myself i might be able to feel like a living person again
#they use the same emr system as the place i was trained at. which means i have 180 hours more experience on navigating it#than probably 90% of the other applicants#its not a super common one to know#and the pharmacy is only 30 minutes away....#i might really be doing something other than spinning my wheels endlessly now#i dont wanna get my hopes up too much but seeing someone get back to me mere hours after i FINALLY got my certification number#(and could therefore finally fucking apply for jobs. which i did until 3 AM last night)#is filling me with a relief and sense of value and purpose thats been completely foreign to me for years now#i cant help but cry. yanno?
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Pros of watching The Midnight Gospel: it's an incredible show, it feels very transformative, and it's short if you don't have time to commit to something long. Great to binge
Cons (if you interpret them that way, they could just be more pros): you might cry, don't be surprised, especially if you binge it! And I feel like I can't watch anything else now since it was such a magnificent, wacky, introspective work.
#the midnight gospel#midnight gospel#ive been crying for 30 minutes and i kind of love it#a lot of my art is centered around grief and sitting with it and feeling it. its about feeling the pain to move on#so of course i love this show so much. its practically all about learning to live here and now because of the grief#because life is so short and precious. life presently and fully and love with an open heart that will be fragile because its open#and you will experience the truest love and greatest heartbreak and it will feel like learning the secrets of the universe
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was â again â sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#âfollow me to my shop I can do the tires for youâ and I was like okay! đ but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN â I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like âYOU OWE ME $200!!!!â#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number đ#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like âokay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the worldâ#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like âit's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 minâ#and I'm like okay. OKAY. đđȘ I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay â I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says âI'm 20-25 min awayâ at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like âokay let me check on himâ#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says âokay he says 15 minutesâ I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like âoh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.â#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like âyou know what we're just going to let this one slideâ#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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Jinyoung is free
#jinyoung#bae jinyoung#cix#ive been crying for like 30 minutes straight#in the timeline where jinyoung's âi wanna play w youâ line now makes me burst into tears#i hate c9 entertainment#w a burning passion#i am praying for their downfall#i wish jinyoung the best#im still sad
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i will go to sleep NOW đ«” (pointing at myself)
#just canât sleep lately. but#iâm sort of. my mental health hasnât been getting better but also not worse.#just perpetually stuck in a hole in the ground recently#canât find footing and climb up but the earth isnât crumbling away even more for now#like i am alone always nobody likes my creations or me i am a monster yeah yeah yeah itâs getting boring brain#the hypochondria panic about throat cancer is new but i thought we were getting better at handling our health anxiety you wretched creature#and even then itâs recycled. weâve done cancer so many times#no creativity đđ#me going over my throat every 5 minutes: i will die in 8 months#i guess with all this loneliness itâs like. it really amplifies my fear of death. my thoughts are all i have ultimately. just the thought of#absolutely nothing⊠i canât think about it for too long or else i will start crying#and losing it even more. idk.#you know those characters who hate being immortal n shit. fun trope and i get it but that would also never be me#i would legit do anything for something like that. even just like. 100 more years. ideally a lot more but#yeah. and then my anxiety brain crashes in with âyou wonât even turn 30 lolâ#anyways. bullshit yap time over here i guess. sending good vibes to whoever read this brain fart
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every time I am excited about having a nice day and think it's going to be a good day it just gets ruined
#was excited to go to macdonalds and then go go the theatre to see lsoh but not my brother is crying and trashing the house and and my mum#is shouting and crying and now im cleaning the whole kitchen and doing the laundry ive been scrubbing this fucking counter for 30 minutes#its not fucking fair
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Did you know he got his wife in the divorce?
#two sleep deprived people in a vc make for wonderfully inane entertainment#ive been crying from laughter for 30 minutes#going to go#pass out now#enjoy this? maybe?
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this is the perfect show if you want to gain a whole bunch of serotonin and then lose it all very quickly and painfully.
#i have been crying for the last 30 minutes#so many thoughts but tbh i can't really tupe right now so#yeah#might be normal in between 5 to 300 business days#fuck#good omens#good omens 2#c speaks into the void
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Random breakdown at 3am let's go besties đ€Ș
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#don't mind me#i've built wall so high around myself that when I called my mom crying this afternoon i couldn't even tell her it's because i wanted to end#physically breaking down and yet i still can't let down my walls#now my dad is coming home and we'll have a talk together but I have no idea how to handle the situation#he's never come close to my walls#i'm pretty sure my walls are hiding a pit of emptyness btw#i feel like i'm being attributed feelings by other and I'm so used to saying âyes that's how I feelâ when in reality idek#i'm not sure i've been really deeply honest with my psych but I can't open up in 30 minutes same problem as always#i can't even tell him that i need his help figuring out whether i'm on the spectrum or not (i just need to know)#don't rb ovbiously#not naruto
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The femme question by Joan Nestle spoke to me so much, it's sad how little has changed it terms of femme acceptance outside of butch/femme communities
#I finished reading it like 30 minutes ago and I've just been sitting here#I don't cry easily but I am doing my version of crying right now#the persistent desire#butchfemme#femme#femme posting
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#ITS TAKING US HALF A FUCKING HOUR TO WATCH 1015 OH MY GOD .#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#RESUS FUCKDIGN CHRIST#WERE 10 MINUTES IN HALFWAY INTO THIS EPISODE AND ITS BEEN 30 MINUTES#update its been an hour#a full hour#IM LOSING YHE IDGF WAR SO BAD#im getting atummy ache it is causing a physical reaction i.n me .#never once did i ever cry while watching this show which says . A Lot since im a big crier . you cant do this to me#AFTER 1000 EPISODES . youre kidding me . somehow i no longer feel like ive wasted arnd 400hrs of my life#the feeling wont last long but still#yamatos voice axctor i am IN YOUR WALSLS#this color script is making me sick who directed this its stunning .#this arc actually had the proper build up to Hit i am . impressed#it wasnt just this episode it really did feel like the dominoes were Falling for once in this shows lifetime what the hell#i am . floored .#maybe they Were right . it Does get good at the 1000s . kicks dirt#we started watching 1015 at 11 thinking weâll sleep after this one but its 1am now . this needs to stop#solar-talks
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Guess who just watched newsies
ID: Digital sketch of the newsies poster, where a boy holds a newspaper while jumping in the air, the word "newsies" across the canvas. END ID
Reference:
ID: Poster of newsies, the broadway musical. END ID
#been listening to once and for all ON LOOP#Anyway this took me an hour and 30 minutes of it was just on the damn face#this is wonky af and I hate it#the proportions are SO wrong imma cry#i ain't no artist#I was just *inspired*#maybe I was thinking more of les than of jack#let's go with that ...#should I mention it's ironic this is a disney musical now or later?#newsies#jeremy jordan#newsies broadway#my art#jack kelly#davey jacobs#les jacobs#art
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they should give ma an award for the biggest crybaby. or for the ugliest crier. they should
#i cry like im gonna get yelled at for crying for even 1 second EVEN IF IM ALONE...........#ive been vrcrying for like 30 minutes now
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just had a fight w my mum.......... maybe i do need to move out
#literally i think i've been crying for like 30 minutes now day ruined hair ruined AND will be ruined for tomorrow#when we're having my birthday dinner so that's making me want to cancel that#personal
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of course the day before iâm supposed to leave and drive 4 hours to see taylor swift my car starts fucking up just like it was at the beginning of the month. on a friday. near the end of the day. when no auto shop can see me. bc thereâs no time. and i have no backup car.
#frantically!!! looking for!!! car rentals!!!!#feeling: miserable#how tf am i supposed to get up there now#like do i risk it and drive#personal#been crying for the last! 30 minutes!
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