#because with football season coming soon; means it's time to give it a reread!

[redfurrycat]

@nixie-deangel you're killing me 👀🥰 (also kissing your beautiful magnificent brain.)

Bradley’s mom was a serial killer. Goose, the unfortunate witness who awkwardly asks her out after she's done. (Bradley’s not freaking out about Jake. Or he's freaking out that he is NOT freaking out. He's actually super chill.)

Pillow Princess Bradley is half vampire (The Bradshaw Curse). Jake kills. Bradley sucks the blood out of their bodies.

Serial Killer Jake upping his sugar daddy tendencies and takes his pillow princess to the opera for a Count Dracula showing. (YES PRETTY WOMAN. PICTURE BRADLEY IN A FULL RED SUIT.)

Date gone wrong. They went to a Cluedo Party, you know where you go to a real mansion, play a character, search for clues to find the killer? [That's a real dorky date for them.] Bradley was playing the killer character the whole time, but that messed Jake up?

They made love on the piano of the mansion. (I can't help it okay?)

Someone tried to touch Bradley and it's the last thing they did.

These two ran a parallel game in which Jake hid gifts for Bradley all over the mansion? [He's the Mansion owner, surprise reveal?!]

Callie also wrote a novel about them. She started as soon as she met Bradley.

just got a unhinged Hangster idea where Jake comes from a RICH family and who moonlights as a contract killer and is a serial killer, who meets completely ordinary Bradley, who is just absolutely drowning in debt, most from his mom's medical care and his university school and is working three jobs and just barely managing to scrape by and doesn't question this rich goes sudden interest in him.

nor does Bradly care when Jake starts insisting on buying him things, or paying for things because he's just so tried and lonely and just desperately wants someone to take care of him.

and who better to do that then a hot unhinged man, who seems to have money he wants to spend and just wants to make him happy?

just. Pillow princess pampered Bradley (it's what he deserves!!!) and service top Jake, who's covered in blood and blushing so pretty as Bradley breathily tells him how good he is, while he rails Bradley within an inch of his life.

I just have a mighty need y'all.

[forestlingincorporated]

Bernard Dowd

DC made me do it. Fandom made me do it. So here it is, the character retrospective I never thought I’d ever write. 

Bernard Dowd was introduced on December 17th, 2003, in Robin #121. Tim has recently transferred to Louis E. Grieve Memorial High School, his fourth school since his introduction when he was 13; Tim is 16 now, and was recently forced to drop out of Brentwood due to his father’s bad investments loosing them their upper class status. Jack and Dana Drake are still alive. 

Bernard Dowd is the first person Tim meets when transferring to this new school. Bernard picks him out of the crowd as new, and immediate tries to determine what Tim’s clique is, only to determine, as we all know, Tim is pretty much impossible to cleanly box. 

Bernard thinks very highly of himself. He views himself as also being above cliques, and wants to give Tim the impression that he’s “runs the school.” He thinks of himself as a cool guy, and he doesn’t like to be called “Bernie.” 

His attempts to befriend Tim are rather presumptive in a way that comes off as rude. He treats Tim like a lost little lamb in need of guidance. 

So, Tim ends up casual friends with Bernard. In fact, at this point in time, Tim says he’s his only friend at school. 

Bernard has a crush on fellow classmate and lowkey daughter of a crime boss, Darla Aquista. (Yes, that Darla Aquista, of TimSteph relationship drama fame.) He is the one to introduce Tim to Darla, and Tim embarrasses him by calling his bluff over whether or not he’d actually ask her out if her jock friends were removed from the picture. This is when you start to get the feeling Bernard might be all talk and bravado. He’s not the cool, confident, popular guy he makes himself out to be. 

After Tim looses Robin, he invites Bernard over for dinner with his family. His and Tim’s relationship seems... complicated. On the one hand, Tim likes him enough to invite him over to his house, and he’s probably Tim’s closest friend during a period of time when his other relationships are distant (friends at other schools) or cut entirely (the hero community). That said, Bernard is CLEARLY depicted as... skeezy, and skeezy about people in Tim’s life, in a way Tim doesn’t appreciate. 

Months later, if the passing of seasons is to be believed, Bernard is the person to inform Tim that there’s a new Robin. Tim seems to have a larger friend group at Louis E. Grieve, he’s worked out a friendship with Darla even though she still seems to have a slight crush on him, and seems to be friends with several of the footballers, but he still has time for Bernard. 

Bernard believes wild conspiracies that Batman works for a shadow government and owns secret orphanages full of Robins that only last for about three days before they die and get buried in secret government graveyards. 

We don’t see Bernard for a while after this. Darla Aquista is shot at school, dying in Tim’s arms. Stephanie Brown’s death is faked. Tim’s father dies, and his stepmother is in such mentally bad shape she has to be checked into a special clinic in Bludhaven, so Tim transfers to John Wayne High School, his fifth school since he was 13. 

A lot of shit goes down between the school shooting and the next (and last) time we see Bernard in Robin #140. He’s meeting up with a girl named Linda, when his vehicle is destroyed by none other than Darla Aquista, back from the dead as Warlock’s Daughter, who is looking for Tim. 

After she scares the shit out of him, they go to Gotham Grille for age-appropriate drinks, and Bernard tells her that the high school closed down after the shooting and all the students’ families received settlement money. With that money, Bernard attended an unnamed private school. 

He offers to help her become a superhero, which she turns down. While he’s pretty rude to Linda over the phone, he’s depicted softer here, He seems earnest in his desire to help Darla, even if he still has an underlying bit a selfishness. I personally feel like he comes off a little less like the Annoying Try Hard he started out as, and has a bit more Booster Gold-esque charm to him. 

But, we never see him again, after he helps her track down Tim’s new address with his Fake Uncle, so he was lost to the pile of Tim’s former normal boy friends to be forgotten. 

UNTIL BATMAN: URBAN LEGENDS! 

Right now, everyone is excited because Batman: Urban Legends #4′s been released and Tim Drake has some strong Might End Up Coming Out As MLM Soon? vibes. He’s got this Discovering New Things About Himself arc in this comic that’s framed in a very Gay Coded way. Focusing on a gay male couple with the dialog box “like me” over it, Barbara talking about how he’s afraid looking too deeply at himself might “change” him, stuttering over how his old friend “looks,” and of course this pseudo date he’s goes on with Bernard. 

I cannot actually analyze the whole comic in depth, because I don’t own it; I ordered the trade, so I won’t be receiving it until December. This is what I’ve gathered from screen shots of this comic alone. I don’t think Urban Legends is technically in the main canon, but I would not be surprised if this was a test to see how audiences respond - like Joker shooting Barbara Gordon in The Killing Joke (which isn’t canon) resulting in Barbara Gordon’s very canon paralysis. 

There’s some speculation at the moment that Bernard himself might actually be evil, or working for the bad guys. I think it’s equally possible he might be targeted by the bad guys, and not necessarily evil himself. But neither scenario would particularly surprise me, it seems unlikely he would be reintroduced as solely a potential love interest for Tim, if that is indeed the route they’re going down. Consider old flames of Bruce’s that get reintroduced, they’re often connected to the plot in some way. 

I... have not exactly sugar coated that I don’t like Bernard. Honestly, I AM trying to be fair. THIS Bernard seems lovely, from the screen caps, but my most recent experience with Bernard was a recent reread of the Robin series, and I just don’t find him historically likable. Some people may disagree, but I personally think some of those some people are maybe going back after reading THIS comic and rereading him with rose-tinted glasses he hasn’t quite earned. 

So, I personally am not going to start shipping this, at least not right now, though I am putting on my clown make up getting my hopes up that Tim might come out as gay or bi. I’m personally hoping he’s gay, but that’s just me seeing a lot of myself in Tim, and projecting my own experience with compulsory heterosexuality onto him, and I think it would be interesting to explore that with an established character. I would still be happy with bi/pan Tim Drake, and I think that would probably make the most people happy - fans of Tim’s opposite-sex ships get to win, and fans of Tim’s queer ships get to win, and bi/pan people would get a big name character as representation. What would make the most people angry, is if this ends up as a queerbait during Pride Month of all things. 

I... have no hope they might make him demisexual, I don’t know if DC even knows what that word means. 

[settingtrends]

ziam fics for the soul

I’ve read (and reread) loads of amazing fics lately, soooo here are some recs!!! If you read them, please, p l e a s e, please remember to leave kudos and/or comments!!! 

Long & Lost by abovetheserpentine

Retrograde Amnesia. Zayn’s learning all kinds of things about the brain and memory, and how the brain accesses memory. It’s interesting – he’s always been silently intrigued by these kind of things, loving to read the Wikipedia articles in his spare time. It’s different, though, when it’s happening to you.

Especially when the likelihood of his memory returning decreases with every hour that he can’t recall anything past July 2014.

Set early 2015.

*it is angst hell but very very beautifully written

Young Gods by abovetheserpentine 

This is Liam’s first Grand Slam. He’s eighteen, he’s a wildcard, and he has a thirst to prove himself even if he can't quite believe he's in Australia. Backed by world famous coach Louis Tomlinson, Liam feels like his chances are pretty good.

Then he remembers that twenty-two year old Zayn Malik is back from injury to be a part of the tournament. Suddenly, Liam’s odds don’t seem so good anymore.

Can’t Help Falling in Love with You by eternallyunleashed

In the 18 years he's been alive Zayn has learnt to deal with the insane amounts of anxiety and stress that life threw his way. It was always easy to stay back and pretend he was invisible. After agreeing to Harry's idea of an internship he realizes all his hopes of maintaining a quiet simple life as he works towards Med-school get tossed out the window. Liam Payne enters his life. Zayn can't put a name to all the whirlwind of emotions that threaten to rip his body apart by just being near Liam, but he is certain of one thing. The mere thought or sight of Liam makes him lose the ability to breathe.

For Liam his goal is pretty simple. Ever since he laid eyes on Zayn, who looks like sin in human form with eyes that threaten to rip a man's heart out, he knew he had to have the boy. He needs him more than he's wanted anything in his entire life. Otherwise his red hot desire for the boy might just take him to his death.

Jinx by JoMouse

Famous actor, Liam James Payne, has quit acting at the height of his career.

University student, Zayn Malik, wasn't expecting to see his celebrity crush enter the laundry room of his dorm, but there he is.

Comically by TeamEmma

Zayn is a professor and also renown Comic book writer.

Liam is his nervous, bumbling student who needs this English class to graduate.

Carlo’s Bakery by sunnysideup

Where Zayn can’t bake. Zayn is skint, Liam runs a bakery, Liam has a vacancy in the bakery, Zayn’s best mate can bake, Zayn tells a white lie and this is what happens next.

The Money Maker by deniallisstrong

This is who I gotta pretend to be in a relationship with?” Zayn whines, shaking his head when he sees the crinkly-eyed boy with the buzz cut, the hoodie, the sunglasses.

“You’re no looker yourself,” Liam snorts, squinting his eyes at Zayn as he pulls off his sunglasses. But he’s lying. Of course he’s lying. His cheekbones are sharp enough to cut wood, his eyes bright enough to start a fire. But Zayn doesn't have to know that.

Zayn is perplexed—already—by Liam. He’s sharper, quicker than he expected. With a sigh, Liam slides down his hood, tiredly sliding his fingers through his hair. “Alright, well, let’s get this… thing started. I want it over as soon as possible.”

Zayn wonders suddenly what Liam’s hair feels like, has a strong urge to reach forward and kiss him back into the wall, find his own fingers in the boy’s brown hair.

Zayn's lying, too. But Liam doesn't have to know that.

(Or a fake relationship AU where Zayn struggles to hide his fond for Liam, and maybe--just maybe--Liam has the same problem with Zayn)

Viva La Vida by iambluehead

In which Liam is not a princess, but needs saving anyway; everyone is just a pawn in a dangerous game of politics and brutality he’s not sure anyone knows how to play; there’s more than one side to everything and maybe no right side to anything; and you can find and love and learn to live without people even after you’ve lost them. And instead of a princess that needs saving, there might be a boy who never needed anything, except maybe something worth dying for.

(Or, Liam is the crown prince of England who gets kidnapped by rebels and finds out that the world is a big, ugly place full of beautiful, broken-up people who may never get a happily ever after, no matter how hard they try.)

For All the Stars We Cannot See by iambluehead  

Zayn grins sheepishly, the light hitting his face and making him squint, his fingers curling around the strap of his bag and his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck, a habit of Liam’s own that he recognizes on the other boy. “Yeah,” he finally says. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow?” “Yeah,” Liam says, letting out the breath that he’d been holding in his lungs until it burned. “Yeah, see you then.” The door slams shut, and Liam watches him walk up to his front door, wondering what would have happened if in that moment, he would have just leaned forward and— “The boy’s in bloody love with you,” Louis says bluntly, pulling away from the house and slamming around a corner at the speed of light. “You should get over your fear of everything and just kiss him already.”

(This is the high school AU where Liam plays football and is afraid of failure until someone puts Zayn in his life and he learns to be brave. There’s music Liam’s never heard of, eventful rides home from school, and drunken toasts to the stars they can’t see from Wolverhampton.)

Slow and High Tempo by zipplekink

"I just want you, Liam," Zayn whispers, skating his lips across his. "Can I?" Liam's lips part more as Zayn's do, exhaling slightly as Zayn's words sink in. He doesn't understand what they mean, but he knows he meant it when he said Zayn could have anything he wants.

His eyes flicker open to stare up at Zayn's dark ones, filled with a warmth that seems to consume Liam as he waits for him to respond. "Yeah, babe."

Through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall by zipplekink

They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.

Tunnel Vision by scottmcniceass

In which Zayn is an award-winning popstar with a knack for getting himself in trouble, and Liam is the bodyguard he didn’t want to hire who has a few problems with staying professional. 

Double Standards by rorz94

it doesn’t have a description but Zayn is a secretary at Liam’s company, basically. A really good read!!

It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn by historyziam

At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.

*read the fic’s tags before ya read it

(never) how it should have been by zizizrites

In which Zayn has a park to oversee, Liam is the raptors’ whisperer, Harry and Louis are the bickering computer techs and Niall accidentally creates a Holyshitosaurus.

kill monsters in the rain by blackwayfarers

A story where Liam can't get over how great Zayn is at singing and drawing and pretty much everything, how just being near Zayn is enough to make Liam's life a hundred times better, how lucky Liam is to have a best friend just as dedicated to pretending to be a superhero as he is.

we are the quiet ones by englandziam

Zayn feels invincible, in the midst of this small town with a couple of best mates and literature students who seem to get him. He misses home but as every day approaches these people feel less like strangers and more like family.

(Or a University AU where Zayn is an English student and Liam is the football captain).

you can coax the cold right out of me by loveontherocks

“Give me a week.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“Give me a week,” Liam repeats. “Seven days. Just come hang out with us and let me show you what we do. Please? If by the end you still hate us and everything we stand for, then I won't stand in the way of your petition. Just let me show you.”

“A week?” Zayn asks. “That's it?”

It's a good argument. Seven days and he can meander around hungover college kids and make a list of all the reasons Greek Row shouldn't continue.

Nodding, Liam reaches out his hand to touch Zayn's arm. Zayn doesn't brush Liam off.

“Alright, fine. One week, Liam. And I'm not easily amazed, so I hope you've got something interesting to show me.”

Laughing, Liam rescinds his hand from Zayn's forearm and shakes his head. “I think you underestimate us, honestly. But just you wait.”

or; zayn drafts a petition to shut down the frat houses, but liam convinces him not to.

Once For Everybody Who Got Left Behind by pukeandcry

Liam doesn’t know how to wrap his head around this, because the question shouldn’t be -- the question should be how is there a ghost in his room, not whether or not he’s done something to offend it. “Well, like. I might’ve told him that ghosts don’t exist?”

“Oh, no, he doesn’t like that,” Louis says.

(or, the AU where Zayn is a ghost, and Liam moves into his attic).

When we meet on a cloud by retts

'By the way, Liam, Zayn here is your biggest fan. He’s a total fanboy. Practically lives in your tag on Tumblr, he does.'

Zayn is going to kill Louis.

Picture Perfect by zayniekins

Inspired by Liam and Zayn mirroring each other's selfies.

Aka the one where Liam discovers Zayn's Instagram by accident, tries to copy some of his poses, gets caught which initiates a selfie war and the fluff and smut that comes in between.

i’ll see you down the line by blurrychildren (roadside)

AU where Zayn works in the snack shop of the local skating rink and Liam’s a hockey player (worse, an attractive one).

Be cruel to me (’cause I’m a fool for you) by frenchkiss

“Baba, can I get the same job as Leeyum when I grow up?”

“If you want, flower,” Zayn snorts, ruffling her hair fondly. “Liam here can teach you.”

“Oh, no, I can’t have someone who could potentially love penguins more than me threatening my job,” Liam says in a fake-serious tone. “I mean, Raani here even has a t-shirt and I don’t think I can compete with that.”

“No, no, Leeyum, I won’t steal your job,” Raani shakes her head hurriedly. “I’m only five, I don’t think I can steal your job until I’m old.”

Or the one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.

[nixie-deangel]

@redfurrycat 👀👀 Okay, yes!

First:

So Jake goes to Phoenix and Coyote, who he sort of but really doesn't work with on occasion and laments to her about his struggles to Bradley (only doing so because he figures if she just laughs in his face, he can make himself feeling better by killing her) and Javy's been his best friend since they were literally in diapers, so he knows Javy will give him helpful suggestions, but Nat snorts once and then tells him she knows someone who can help him out and introduces him to her wife Callie, who finds Jake fascinating but is willing to help -after getting over the shock of her wife being sort of friends with a serial killer, which is a struggle but they work through.

(no one in this universe is normal or healthy, except maybe Mav and Ice to a degree)

But Callie agrees to take Bradley on as a client and help him work through a lot of his trauma and issues. And it's definitely an uphill battle but eventually Bradley does get mentally healthier, which makes him happier, which makes Jake happier!

(the shock comes with Bradley asking Callie how does he tell Jake that he knows the man makes his money in killing people, without spooking him?? Callie lets out the worlds biggest sigh, downs two fingers of whisky and then suggests maybe just being blunt about it or you can jokingly make him a cake that says you know and have a knife driven through the center of it.

Jake absolutely nearly pisses himself laughing when Bradley gives him the cake and the note explaining he's known since nearly the beginning of their relationship when he sort of followed Jake on a job he had in SD (the last one he took in their city) and had his freak out and acceptance of who Jake is already.)

Secondly:

It's been years, more than a decade since Ice and Mav have seen Bradley - they tried keeping tabs on him but because Bradley had to bounce between rented rooms, sleeping in the bronco and constantly had to move apartments because of rent issues, and he couldn't keep a cellphone plan and had to resort to prepaids, it was hard to do so.

But it's been such a long time and they aren't even sure it's their Bradley at first, because the young man seated across from them in the five star restaurant, sort of looks like their godson but he's draped in silks and gold and with the biggest smile on his face as he sits opposite a man they can't actually see.

They debate between themselves if they should go over and say something but before they can, Bradley and his mystery man are getting up and giggling, so they softly shoving at one another as they amble out of the restaurant and they lose their chance again because before Mav can even make it out of the building, Bradley's being helped into a really expensive car and as soon as he's at the door the stranger is passing the valet something and climbing in and speeding off.

They regret missing their moment but seem to take some comfort with Bradley looking happy and healthy....even if they do seem to get under the impression that maybe Bradley is an escort..

Third:

Brisket!

Bradley has learned over the weeks, months, of them being together that Jake far more favors Bradley's touch, love, smiles and laughter, over physical gifts because Jake once told him that Bradley just being near him, loving him, touching him, letting Jake do the same to him, is enough for him. Which Bradley loves but also hates because he wants to give Jake what Jake gives to him!

But they're coming up on their 1 year anniversary and Bradley desperately wants to give Jake something meaningful to him, to give back to Jake, what he's been given over the past year.

It's a struggle to come up with something, to find something! And it's on midnight walk -Jake's out of town on a job and Bradley struggles to sleep not wrapped up in his arms or wrapped around him- when he stumbles across, quite literally, a box with a puppy in it. He sort of panic picks them up and brings them home and cleans them up and panic looks up what to feed them and then just keeps panicking until the morning and he can get the little puppy to the vet.

(thankfully nothing is really wrong with the puppy, so they only have to stay at the vets for 2 or 3 days, before Bradley can officially come back and adopt them and bring them home)

and it's on the way home, that Bradley panics again because oh shit! he's adopted a dog without telling Jake and then panics again because the puppy still has no name and shit shit shit Jake doesn't know they have a dog now!!!

Which is when he gets the brilliant idea to gift the puppy to Jake as his gift and he just crosses his fingers this doesn't blow up in his face! And to his great surprise Jake absolutely falls in love with the little guy, naming him Brisket because that's what Bradley made for dinner that night!

(Jake absolutely surprises Bradley with his own puppy a few weeks later for his birthday because Bradley is so good with Brisket, so he decides they should totally have another puppy underfoot!

Jake is not so secretly using the dogs as a way to gauge if Bradley would maybe be up for kids one day because Jake literally blue screened when they went back to Texas to visit his family after one of his sister's had a baby and Bradley held it for the first time.

Jake has unbelievable baby fever when it comes to Bradley.)

just got a unhinged Hangster idea where Jake comes from a RICH family and who moonlights as a contract killer and is a serial killer, who meets completely ordinary Bradley, who is just absolutely drowning in debt, most from his mom's medical care and his university school and is working three jobs and just barely managing to scrape by and doesn't question this rich goes sudden interest in him.

nor does Bradly care when Jake starts insisting on buying him things, or paying for things because he's just so tried and lonely and just desperately wants someone to take care of him.

and who better to do that then a hot unhinged man, who seems to have money he wants to spend and just wants to make him happy?

just. Pillow princess pampered Bradley (it's what he deserves!!!) and service top Jake, who's covered in blood and blushing so pretty as Bradley breathily tells him how good he is, while he rails Bradley within an inch of his life.

I just have a mighty need y'all.