#because this really is the horniest game of the decade

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side B

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Kirei

He fucked up so many people's lives so badly in just one decade (not on purpose) that the universe put him in the summoning pool of all world influencing souls. He doesnt really have any special powers but he does serve as a vessel for rasputin at one point. He's the guy who says "people die when they are killed"

please please please there's literally a type moon character in the gif on the top of this form so it's typemoonphobic if none of them get in but it shouldn't be her it should be kirei bc he's 50x funnier & more iconic than jeanne. funny lil murder priest who's fucking THE gilgamesh (from the epic of) in the church basement and dies in a knife fight w a 17 year old whose dad he wanted to fuck back in '94 before realizing that he was actually kinda lame and he's been bitter abt it ever since. he has an orphan torture factory in his basement but he's also canonically good at being a priest. he's so funny you should def try his mapo tofu i swear it's totally safe for human consumption and not made with any california reapers. did i mention he's a deadbeat dad.

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Priest claims to be Pro Life to make Sakura Matou the most miserable girl on the planet, but he dies anyway.

bro became a catholic because he loves suffering

He’s a priest. Kind of. Not a very good priest obviously. There is something seriously wrong and fucked up with that man. It’s so entertaining.

he's gotta be one of the most insane catholic men ever with a very in-depth and interesting relationship with his religion and his relationship with god also he's the sexiest man ever to be conceptualized in the known universe and all of time

Will never forget the 40+ minute monologue in heavens feel being a thinly veiled metaphor for abortion

he wants to torment churchgoers and make them face their failures and suffering but all he ends up doing is motivate them to improve themselves. cringefail moment for him

he's absolutely insane. the coldhearted mercenary that barely reacts to anything is terrified of kirei. he's super fucked up. his ult in stay night is literally him channeling divine power into something called kyrie eleison. he's the vessel of rasputin (on account of being a priest with a huge....no i shant say) the biblical beast in grand order among other things. he gets drunk with and tops gilgamesh from the epic of gilgamesh in the church basement after gilgamesh from the epic of gilgamesh bats his eyes a little too hard at kirei in some of the horniest shot scenes ive ever seen. he also used to be a heretical "fixer" for the church, cleaning up scenes that would expose shit to the public. uhh what else. he holds cool swords between his fingers like a kid pretending to be wolverine but in my favorite route he just squares the hell up with the protagonist and they fight to the death outside planned parenthood

Soap

Religious trauma coded. Popular hc that his family is Catholic.

He's gay and has a funny hair cut. Is that not enough to be Catholic?

he was such a bad bitch they had to kill him off in the third game bc he would've mopped the floor with the main antagonist otherwise. rip soap keep thotting it up in heaven we miss u every day

`!!!6ths -- propaganda by my kitten

[voidendron]

OC Tag Game

tagged by @raven-of-domain-kwaad - thank you, Raven! 💚💜

tagging @teetertottertales and whoever else wants to do this! (bc most of who I'd have tagged are tagged already haha)

I'll be sticking to SWTOR characters for this, just for consistency

Favorite OC: Rediaex'aere'zortiea

This was a difficult one, but I think I've got to go with Xaerez. I've really enjoyed developing him over the last few years, and I always enjoy writing fics for him, answering asks, or just doing Certified Oliver Ramblings about him. The way duty contradicts morals for them (A Lot) makes them a lot of fun; I always enjoy thinking "ok, this is what he Wants to do, but this is what he's Going to do" when it comes to the various situations I shove them into whether they Want those situations or not.

Newest OC: Fower Vek

I believe it's Fower ("Flower"), from the Rediscovery Era crew! Like Farsc, she's a professor - they worked together at a university on Coruscant, so that's how Farsc ended up going to her to get her on the crew and in on a little grand theft auto to steal the Star Hopper from a museum oops. She's an astronomer and cartographer, so makes sure the crew doesn't get lost while they search for where the Alliance disappeared to all those thousands of years ago. I like to think she's an ancestor to Lina and Varrich.

Oldest OC: Synnda V'ehsz

I have many OCs much older than Synnda, but in keeping it to SWTOR, he was my very first. ...Probably not surprising, considering my legacy name haha - although he was named after my legacy, instead of the other way around. I did (and still kinda do) self-project a lot onto him, but I've developed him a lot over the years and he's very dear to me. I've got a Synnda clone on just about every server if that says anything - including 2 versions of him on Star Forge alone.

Meanest OC: Ehna'dissen

Ehna, hands down. (Commander!Varrich comes in close, however) She's an interrogator, and enjoys holding power over others. It's because of her that Xaerez's Castellan restraints get re-triggered. Because of her Synnda eventually loses his life. Because of her that the Cadera siblings nearly tear each other apart as she watched on. She's absolutely horrible, she knows she's horrible, and she thinks it's all just a fun game that she's winning.

Softest OC: Parrakh Djal

He just wants to be a healer, help others when he can. His life had an unfortunate start, but he finds his place as one of Synnda's students.

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: Anaehr Cadera

The youngest of Terrin and Torian's kids, Anaehr was already distant from his older siblings who were less than a year apart. He distances himself from his family as he grows jealous and angry of his siblings' success, makes terrible mistakes for it, but stands his ground and refuses to feel guilt for the actions that make him Dar'manda. He doesn't let anyone get close to him; his anger becomes numbness, and he becomes a cold and hateful man.

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC: Jen Sept

My Voidhound. Need I say more? ajksl;djaskld Jen is. A lot. He can walk into a trap, know he's walking into a trap, and continue to walk in with zero plan anyway. It's....a good thing he has Risha and Kitty to steer him in the right direction, or this cat man probably would have gotten himself killed a long time ago.

Smartest OC: Kitty

While Synnda and Qizulth are both extremely intelligent, their knowledge is a lot more limited to their interests. Kitty? He learned to survive during over a decade on the run after sneaking out of the academy on Korriban. Medicine, cultures, languages, mechanics, history--chances are if you ask him something, he can at the very least point you in the direction of getting the right answer even if he doesn't know it himself. Good thing, too: Marrying the Voidhound means someone needs to have the braincell or they're doomed.

Horniest OC: Jen Sept

Jen again! He kinda just. Slept his way through the galaxy until he met Kitty. And now that they're together, Jen likes to experiment in bed, and sometimes they'll bring in a third for the night, too. With Jen having so much power in the underworld, it works Mighty Well for getting other bosses to cooperate with him.

OC You'd Bang: Aaz'n Tarnak or Lina Tophrik

I like strong women OKAY don't look at me

OC You'd be Friends With IRL: Kidak Hess

He's just a very gentle person, and the thing about him is he Knows How To Be Friends With Introverts Without Being Overwhelming. He's totally chill to just be in someone's company without needing to be Doing Things. He's happy to talk about his own interests for hours, but at the same time he'd be happy to listen to someone else ramble about theirs while he he just soaked up everything they said. He'd just be really nice company, and the exact type of person I'd love to hang out with.

[oneweekoneband]

charming, if a little gauche: the taylor swift story

“the last great american dynasty” is a song that no other pop star could make or, more to the point, would want to make, and as the third track on folklore it marked the spot in my very first listen—sweaty and embarrassingly strung out sitting in the cab of a pickup at the third place where we’d tried to find wifi—at which I let myself vault over the ledge, out of my cautious remove, and into real excitement for what this album might hold.

This is a song that Taylor Swift wrote about Rebekah Harkness, the ballet-obsessed socialite who married into the Standard Oil family (”the wedding was charming, if a little gauche” Taylor sings, and I scream.) then lived, fifty years ago, in the Rhode Island beach house Swift now owns. It is—and on this matter there can be no argument—the horniest song on the album. Taylor is absolutely jazzed out of her WASPy little gourd over this woman, this house, this grand, cyclical American story she imagines herself as part of. Does Taylor actually want to fuck her house and/or the ghost of the woman who once owned it? Well, that’s not for me to say. But the idea of them very evidently gets her going, and her zeal is infectious. She’s so clearly been bursting to indulge this passion, to memorialize this house, and I’m grateful that fate or timing made it so that she didn’t do it until now, until Aaron Dessner provided her with these specific instrumentals, because the combination is divine. 

Taylor Swift in the Disney+ documentary Folklore: The Long Pond Sessions confirming that her psychosexual obsession with Holiday House is longstanding.

“the last great american dynasty” relates in colorful detail the life of Mrs. Harkness, who became a widow at just thirty-nine ("the doctor had told him to settle down / it must have been her fault his heart gave out") then used the remaining years to spend her late husband’s fortune in the most lavish ways possible. Rebekah, Taylor tells us, "Filled the pool with champagne / And swam with the big names / Blew through the money on the boys and the ballet” and, again, her total, perfect thrill with this story, with the fact of living in the house this woman once misbehaved in so egregiously as to be an affront to all her stuffy Rhode Island neighbors, is evident throughout. The song is wonderful, good fun, sounds great, feels insane, and then at the quintessentially excellent bridge Taylor pulls a pivot that should be completely noxious, but is, in practice, anything but. Wryly, she inserts herself into the song at the final stretch. “Fifty years is a long time / Holiday House sat quietly on that beach / Free of women with madness / Their men and bad habits / And then it was bought by me”. When, “She had a marvelous time ruining everything”, transforms into, “I had a marvelous time ruining everything” I almost clap. I have clapped. It’s all unbearably cute, and in every word there is sonic evidence of Taylor’s pleasure at her own cleverness, but unfortunately it’s so good that there isn’t even really any room left on the private beaches of one’s heart cavity wherein to be annoyed at having been got by a Taylor Swift bridge once again. 

Honestly............Taylor is like two decades max from this.

Though Swift was born in Pennsylvania and came of age in Tennessee, the idea that she’d take instinctively to the blue blood fantasy of wealthy New England is no surprise. It’s unclear whether there’s ever been another person alive who radiates such Big Connecticut Energy while, in fact, not being from Connecticut at all. Watch Hill, Rhode Island made perfect sense to me, in fact, for Taylor, because it not only, at $17 mil cash, made her the owner of the most expensive private home in the entire (extremely small) state, but brings with the choice a kind of self-satisfied dignity. Not being one of the more popular East Coast seaside destinations for the rich and famous, like Martha’s Vineyard or Nantucket, or even The Hamptons, stylishly insists that you must really be trying to get away. The house is classically lovely and has a big yard with a pool and flag pole that extends high into the blue to look down over the plebeians in the sand.

Being myself a natural born daughter of the New England states, albeit of a considerably less pristine stripe than the denizens of Watch Hill, I have spent countless day trips and weekends at the Misquamicut State Beach just a few miles down the coast in Westerly, the town that Taylor’s village (”village” ...Rich people are so weird) is a part of. Not long after Taylor moved in, I was there at the beach with my mother, and my sister, and my mother’s sisters, and whatever other beer-filled bodies might have been around, a whole hoard, and we were lounging on fanned out bed sheets in front of a restaurant called Paddy’s where you can get a blue rum-based cocktail in a plastic fish bowl. I was nursing a sprained ankle that summer, and still a week or two from being fully well, but I wanted to see Taylor’s house up close, so we walked along the water’s edge until we got close enough to snap a photo for posterity, and to see that Taylor was using around the property custom no trespassing signs which read, “I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In”. When someone who is very rich, popular, talented, basically has everything going for them, could buy and sell you and everyone you’ve ever known, etc., makes a stupendously bad joke it is a moral imperative that you tell as many people about that as possible, and so with love in my heart, even, I share this fact now. People had their towels right up against the edge of her sea wall, like a geographic version of the nervous game, but almost as soon I arrived, it was time to limp back to the land of the mortals.

Your hero in 2014 standing in front of the saltbox house on the coast that took Rebekah Harkness’ mind off St. Louis

The pleasures on offer in “the last great american dynasty” are almost too many to name, and all of them so specifically, distinctly, freakishly, bona fide Grade A Taylor Swift, wonderful and grating not separately, one then the other, but both the whole time, and all at once. Taylor saying “gauche”; Taylor telling a story about this dead woman she has a gigantic crush on once dyeing a neighbor’s dog green; Taylor invoking the phrase “middle class divorcee”; Taylor using the word “bitch” affectionately. Even Taylor’s actual vocals, which have been, at times, the notable weak spot in her rigorously streamlined overall package, sound really, genuinely lovely here, and as spirited as ever. The song is laden with Taylor’s remarkable self-righteous belief that by purchasing a multi million dollar home in tony Watch Hill she was somehow “ruining everything”, when she was born and bred for enclaves like that long before she had any number one hits, and actually the only major problem was people thought it was poor form for her to rebuild the huge seawall around the property, even though it was her right, and she was able to do it without issue. To know that Taylor, raised wealthy, imagines herself somehow persecuted as insufficiently chic in Watch Hill for having, by way of immense pop superstardom, multiplied many times over the riches to which she was born, brings me a great and uncomplicated joy. It is a train of thought so wholly unrelatable as to seem plucked wholesale from a work of magical realism, and that happens to be exactly the feeling I want most from a Taylor Swift song. My one and only criticism of “the last great american dynasty” is that, if you’re not right on top of the skip button, it bleeds directly into the Bon Iver duet “exile”, which does kill the vibe, but, well, nobody’s perfect.

The defense rests.