#because that's how when you get someone experiencing say hallucinations or severe suicidal ideation or constant panic attacks

[e-the-village-cryptid]

the “everyone feels like this sometimes, it’s ok!” approach to mental illness was well-intentioned i guess but it did so much damage

[wordsnstuff]

10 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing About Mental Illness

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Reinforcing Stereotypes

This goes without saying, but neurodivergent people (and characters) each experience and cope with their mental illnesses differently. Schizophrenia is not simply hallucinations. Depression is not simply feeling suicidal. Anxiety is not simply consistent fear or unease. Your character, depending on what causes/triggers their symptoms, will present their mental illnesses differently, both on the inside and outside. A person’s experience of mental illness is affected by their environment, their background, their priorities, their personality, and their other struggles. Reflect this in their story, rather than reading a long list of general symptoms and checking them off in your draft. 

1 Symptom Sally

Mental illness affects every aspect of an individual’s life. It’s more complicated and far-reaching than simply “having a harder time than everyone else”. Depression, for instance, is frequently portrayed with an acute emphasis on the symptoms of fatigue, lack of motivation, and sadness. However, depression has a lot of symptoms that many aren’t aware are connected to the illness, such as executive dysfunction, irritability, and sickness. Even those with a general diagnosis of a mental illness aren’t going to have that diagnosis just because they feel sad a lot of the time. There must be more, and it must be shown.  

Romanticizing Suicide

There’s a delicate balance between depicting the reality and gravity of suicidal thoughts/ideation and making it sound appealing. If you’re reading a story, narrated by a character who has suicidal tendencies, it’s inevitable that their thought process will justify or rationalize those thoughts. Approach this with care, and remember that as a writer, you have influence over your readers (whether intentionally or not), and you should prioritize the responsibility you have to avoid romanticizing suicide over the task of portraying it accurately. Some things simply hurt more than they help. 

Generalizing Experiences

Mental illness is inconsistent. Some people display two or three symptoms that are easily recognized, but some experience symptoms most don’t even associate with those illnesses at all. For example, generalized anxiety disorder can present in individuals with a more physically debilitating set of effects, rather than primarily manifesting in feelings of fear or unease. Yes, anxiety is the state of being anxious, but it can also be sensory overload, executive dysfunction, flu-like illness, and fatigue. Every mental illness is unique to the individual who struggles with it, so be aware that your characters should be representing that reality as well. 

Ignoring Coping Mechanisms

Most people who have a mental illness that has progressed to the point of seeking a diagnosis and perhaps treatment have established various levels of coping mechanisms. These can be things like substance abuse or self harm, but they can also be more subtle, like hyper-fixation on media they like or excessive reliance on friends or family. If you’re going to write a character with a mental illness, you should know what they have to do to get through the day. What exercises have they adopted to adapt to their situation? What effect have these mechanisms had on their lifestyle and relationships?

Illnesses Having No Effect On Relationships

Mental illness, especially after having struggled with them for a long period, affects who we are, how we behave and interact, and changes our priorities and thought process. It’s inevitable that it will impact our relationships with other people. In order to accurately depict this experience, you have to also know the characters on the other side, who are maintaining a relationship with your neurodivergent character. What are their thoughts on mental health? How well do they understand what your character is experiencing? Are they more likely to want to be there for or distance themselves from the character because of their mental illness? Strain on relationships can be a very distinct part of a neurodivergent person’s experience with mental illness, and it’s important to represent that. The stigma is still very real and shows up regularly, even in little ways, and in a more accommodating world.

Extreme Cases Only

Some people experience mental illness on a chronic level, others do not. There’s Seasonal Affective Disorder, which tends to only present symptoms in certain periods of the year for various reasons, for example. It could be classified as a “less severe” form of depression, and it’s very common. Not all depression is the same, and it doesn’t always result in severe cases of suicidal ideation or self harm. If you only depict characters in the most extreme cases, who experience their symptoms at the highest level at all times, you may be reinforcing stereotypes about neurodivergence that have taken decades to dismantle. Not everyone with mental illness has an extreme case, and pretending they do can reinforce the idea that all neurodivergent people are “crazy”. 

Good Days vs. Bad Days

Neurodivergent individuals usually experience their symptoms on a wide spectrum of severity. There are good and bad days, and everything in between. Sure, some days, one may experience virtually no symptoms and be very happy and productive, and be totally unable to maintain their composure on others. However, the majority of the time is occupied by a middle ground. Days where a person isn’t constantly on the verge of a panic attack, but they struggle to accomplish their typical agenda, and they feel a variety of symptoms at noticeable, but more manageable level. Symptoms can also intensify steadily and endure for variable periods of time. 

Curing Mental Illness With Romance

Let me say this clearly, and insist you don’t argue: mental illness cannot be cured by a relationship. I admit that new relationships or positive attention can offset symptoms, but if a character’s mental illness (such as depression or anxiety) miraculously resolves because a new partner comes into their life, they either weren’t mentally ill in the first place, or you have misunderstood mental illness. There can be months or even years where someone can go without experiencing their symptoms at a noticeable level, but they will always be neurodivergent, and a new partner isn’t going to change that. That portrayal minimizes the experience of mental illness and trivializes symptoms people suffer with every single day. Do not do this. Please. Just don’t. You can say your character has prolonged period of sadness, but you cannot slap the word “depression” on them, then have all their symptoms disappear because they’ve got a hot date.

Not Every Illness Is Caused By Trauma

This is simply a point of knowledge more writers should have a grasp of. Mental illness can be caused by genetics, chemical imbalances, deficiencies, severe and prolonged stress, longterm health conditions, social isolation or loneliness, etc. It’s natural that in a fictional story where mental illness may be an important aspect, that trauma is one of the more sensational causes to apply to your character, but if you have a cast with diverse experiences of neurodivergence, it’s unlikely that all of them will have a basis in trauma. Neurodivergence is not a one-size-fits-all. 

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[mommasgotbpd15]

Forgive me, this is LONG.

Mental Illness facts and figures

This all started as an intervention, which turned into a research paper because I’m so passionate about advocating for those who suffer from mental illnesses. Thanks for reading.

 As someone who suffers from many mental conditions discussed in this report, I wrote this in hopes of spreading true awareness of the conditions themselves and statistics related to them.

 Some of the biggest obstacles of seeking psychiatric treatment are admitting you need help, and adequate access to the care and treatment. If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis, such as suicidal or homicidal thoughts, please call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255, 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. Remember, seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of.

             Did you know that suicide is the #10 cause of death in the U.S? Or that it is the #2 cause of death among individuals aged 10 to 34 years of age? Mental illnesses is responsible for 1 in 8 emergency care visits, with mood disorders being the most common reason for hospitalization, regardless of if it is voluntary (201) or involuntary (302,303,304). As of April 2019, the world’s population was 7.7 billion. Of those 7.7 billion, 47.6, or 1 in every 5, suffer from a mental illness; with 29.1 million individuals experiencing major depressive disorder or other serious conditions. It is also reported that 43% of adults experience suicidal ideations or planning, and another 17 million adults have experienced at least one major depressive episode within the past year.

           There are many myths surrounding depression and other mental illness. It is often thought that depression is a situational disorder, triggered by sad or stressful occurences in life, however it is not. Depression is a chronic and clinical illness, not just a mood or feeling. It is a disorder that affects how your brain works, not just a thought or feeling. Similar to Alzheimer’s and dementia, it affects your memory. Treatment of depression is a complex process, and it is not one size fits all. What works for one person, may not work for another; medications are odten a requirement for those suffering with a mental condition and should not be considered “an easy way out”. The stigma associated with mental illness is known as sanism.

           In the spring of 2019, Max Guttman presented an statement that decriminalizing mental illness requires a new approach that includes clear and factual definitions of what a psychiatric condition is or is not, what it may or may not imply, and what it does and does not do.

           A psychiatric diagnosis is a cluster of symptoms seen in the general population included under a diagnostic label, and code called an HCC. They describe the thinking process and behavioral patterns seen in a specific diagnosis, that imply that an individual requires specific and tailored help concerning a specific problematic thought and behavior pattern. Psychiatric diagnosis, however, is not a comprehensive understanding of an individual, and their needs. It also cannot define what someone intends to do at any given time and will not predict the beautiful and varied actions and thoughts of an individual; you are not a criminal, you are a human being.

           There are many different psychiatric diagnoses, and the symptoms often overlap. This is called comorbidity; where as 2 or more mood disorders occur at the same time. Schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar depression also known as manic depression, and dissociative disorders are the most commonly occurring, with personality disorders occurring much less often. An example of a common comorbidity is schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. Individuals with schizoaffective disorder are often misdiagnosed with solely bipolar or schizophrenia because schizoaffective disorder is much more rare than the latter, and requires more care than other disorders.

           Schizoaffective disorder commonly presents the same symptoms as schizophrenia, such as hallucinations and delusions, as well as symptoms of a mood disorder such as mania which is described as periods of extreme highs, or depression which is a series of extreme lows. Presentations varies from person to person, as some will experience hallucinations and or delusions with mania, such as switching quickly from topic to topic and responding inappropriately, making risky decisions in regards to behavior and action,and giving responses that are completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Others will experience depression as well as hallucinations and delusions, resulting in extreme lethargy, acting uninterested in people or activities, feeling hopeless, and suicidal thoughts.

Often, you will hear people say “people with bipolar are moody” because they do not understand the process of the brain when affected by bipolar. Bipolar disorder does not cause mood swings, contrary to popular belief, but instead it causes cycles of mania and depression usually lasting several weeks and even years at times. This disorder causes episodes of mania, including all actions listed in the previous paragraph, as well as excessive energy, rampant thoughts, and inability to sleep. Individuals often experience a slow transition from mania to depression, which includes inability to concentrate and suicidal thoughts. Unlike the popular misconception, this disorder does not cause moods to shift rapidly, rather the types of episode take turns. In the united states alone, 5 million individuals suffer from bipolar.                                              Personality disorders make it hard for an individual to relate to others in healthy ways, therefore they experience difficulties forming relationships. Antisocial personality, one example of a personality disorder, often bully others and cause harm, with no remorse. Borderline Personality disorder (BPD), causes extreme anxiety and fear of being abandoned. Those suffering from BPD feel emotions intensely due to inability to regulate them, therefore it is harder for those individuals to return to a stable baseline after an emotionally triggering event, and the end of an episode. The cause of BPD are not fully understood, but scientists are in agreement that it is attributed to a combinations of factors, including genetics, environmental influences and brain function or lack thereof. It is believed that the emotional regulation system is different than those without BPD, suggesting there is a neurological basis for its symptoms.                         Many individuals who suffer from BPD are often diagnosed with a dissociative disorder along with BPD. The symptoms of dissociative disorders piggy back off of BPD, meaning that because they are experiencing things so intensely, it is easy for them to “opt out” of reality and be unaware of their surroundings and things going on in the world around them.

Many psychiatric conditions can reach a stage of remission, with the use of medications and several other forms pf therapy. The most common form of drug used in the treatment of these conditions are called reuptake inhibitors. Reuptake is the process by which neurotransmitters are naturally reabsorbed into nerve cells after they are released to send messages between nerve cells. There are three different types of Reuptake Inhibitors: SSRI, SNRI, AND NDRI.                                                      SSRI represents drugs called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors. This is the class where you can find the commonly prescribed antidepressants such as Celexa, Lexapro, and Zoloft.           SNRI represents drugs called Serotonin and Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors.  These drugs are newer types of antidepressants including Cymbalta, Effexor, Khedezla,, Fetiza, and Pristiq. These drugs not only block the reuptake of serotonin, but also the reuptake of norepinephrine too.                                                                                                                                    NDRI represents Norepinephrine and Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitors. This class only contains one drug, known as Wellbutrin (bupropion). Wellbutrin has also be known to aid in the cessation of using nicotine products.                                                                                                     Along with the drugs listed above there is also drugs known as Tetracyclics and SARIs. Tetracyclics include Ascendin (asamoxapine), Ludimol (maprotiline), and Remeron (mirtazapine). SARIs or Serotonin Antagonist and Reuptake Inhibitors act in two ways. They prevent the reuptake of serotonin, but also prevent dopamine particles from binding at unintended receptors and redirects them to help mood nerve cells within mood circuts. These include Serozone and Trazadone.                                                                                                                                                        In addition to antidepressants, individuals may be prescribed a drug called a Mood Stabilizer. These are drugs which treat mania and depressive episodes, and are also commonly prescribed as anticonvulsants, such as Carbamazepine, Lamitcal (lamotrigine) and Depakene.

           A drug called an Antipsychotic which is a drug used to treat symptoms of psychosis, are also commonly prescribed among those with mental conditions, and may be taken in conjunction with mood stabilizers, or taken alone. The most common antipsychotic drugs are Abilify, Vraylar, Seroquel (Quetiapine), and Zyprexa.                                                                                                                     For those who suffer sleep problems in conjunction with or as a result of psychiatric conditions and bipolar symptoms will often be prescribed a drug called a Benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, and Ativan. Benzodiazepines have sedating qualities and may slow your brains activity enough that you can sleep.                                                                                             The common side effects of all of these drugs can range from mild to severe. Nausea, sexual dysfunction, and weight gain can be somewhat easily resolved. More severe side effects such as liver or kidney damage may be irreversible and even fatal.                                                                            The biggest obstacles in getting psychiatric treatment are admitting you need help despite fear of being judged or labeled, and adequate access to care and treatment.                                                    I can personally attest that it is absolutely terrifying to be presented to a team of doctors and nurses, especially in the midst of a psychotic episode. Treatment is trial and error, or a learning curve in learning what your diagnosis entails and how to treat it. Even more terrifying is the stigma the public has associated with mental illness. We are not “dangerous”, “crazy” or “criminals”. We are normal people. If you are involuntarily committed (302) like I was, you lose the privilege to own guns. Did I miss the part where I killed someone? We are made to feel as though we are wrong for being human and experiencing normal feelings when in reality those who judge us are in the wrong.                                                                                                                                                          We need to end the stigma and normalize and decriminalize being mentally ill and seeking help. Imagine how many lives can be saved just by having a simple conversation. We are human and we should be treated as such.                                                                                                                  I wrote this paper in hopes that even just one more person has a better understanding of the things mental illness mean for someone suffering one, and open the floor up for conversations about how you are feeling, symptoms you are experiencing and any abnormal thoughts such as suicidal or homicidal thoughts you may experience. YOU can make a difference in someone’s life, just by asking them what is going on in their head at any given moment. They may be reluctant to open up to you, but once they do, they will be happy the did. You must treat the thoughts and feelings they express to you as confidential information unless they are posing a serious threat to themselves or others around them.

[eddievee]

Gay and Sober

I’m intimidated by the thought of writing about this. There are multiple reasons as to why I perhaps shouldn’t express these thoughts. However, I have a problem. I have a problem and I feel as though trying to articulate it will help me cope. It is my hope that friends and family members will read this and understand my struggle. Maybe they or someone on the internet could also find solace in my story.

Basically, I have a drinking problem. Call me an alcoholic. Call me an addict. Any term under the umbrella of substance abuse likely applies. I write this at twenty four. Looking back over the past liquored up eight years of my life, the most traumatic experiences and biggest setbacks I’ve endured have had to do with alcohol. I pinned a guy in my dorm to the ground at eighteen and nearly got expelled from university. I went psychotic at twenty-one, experiencing auditory hallucinations and paranoid delusions. My psychiatrist deduced that it all transpired because I went off of my psychoactives cold turkey and started to self-medicate with wine. That turn of events forced me to withdraw from school for almost a year. In that time, I left random objects on my university president’s doorstep and nearly got arrested for trespassing. I also showed up drunk to the undergraduate library after withdrawal from classes and had to be escorted out by police. My relationship with alcohol is distinctly self-destructive and volatile. In March, I got hit by a motorist after a night out of drinking. I had recently quit a managerial position after over two years working there, lined up a prospective job with greater pay, and a couple of my coworkers bought me Jack Daniel’s as a farewell present. I wrote a goodbye letter that evidently still has a place of honor in the store. It was a bittersweet goodbye, but I was leaving a staff that I knew was going to miss me. From my end, that feeling was mutual. I also had a solid positive reference in my back pocket from my time there. I was ecstatic. To leave a job I really didn’t like was fabulous. To feel as though I was moving on in my career was even better. It was time to celebrate, of course! So, I imbibed. I guzzled hard liquor by myself and went to my usual haunt. I drank more there and tried to ride home on my bicycle. That’s when it all happened. The injury was severe. I sustained contusions on both sides of my frontal lobe and cracked a few bones in my skull. Emergency services were called and I was rushed to the hospital. There, it was determined that I was at a .27 blood alcohol content. Had I consumed a couple more drinks that night, I would have been legally dead. At the hospital, I was put into a medically induced coma and given a room in intensive care. The coma lasted roughly a month and I received inpatient physical, occupational, and speech therapy for another month before discharge. Multiple doctors, nurses, and therapists told me that based on the severity of the injury, I was expected to be discharged by November. I remember visiting the intensive care unit after being moved to the rehab unit. Multiple doctors and nurses who managed my case expressed verbal and physical disbelief that I was standing and walking. Several entered the unit for their shift, saw me, and would throw their hands in the air and turn around before greeting me. I don’t know the totality of their experiences in medicine, but I imagine several of their cases don’t end up walking and talking a month after coming out of a coma. They were unquestionably shocked to see me so relatively well.

Basically, I almost died. Mortality was clarified for me in March. The physical toll alone was nothing short of traumatic. In spite, I’m happy that my recovery has gone so unexpectedly well. I’ve gained 25 pounds of muscle back, I was discharged from outpatient therapies after two weeks, and I’m now looking at the possibility of returning to work. However, I’m not totally well right now. Despite all of the strides I’ve made over the past three months, I know I have an immense amount of work to do to get healthy again. However, I’m ill at this point for reasons unrelated to the somatic impact of my auto accident. The psychological consequences of my injury came later and asymmetrically. With the physiological component consuming most of my time, energy, and focus initially, I simply didn’t know how what happened was going to impact my mental health. With BPD on my diagnostic record, I’ve been depressed, anxious, and occasionally psychotic for much of my adult life. I’ve been in and out of psychiatry and psychotherapy since I was 18 years old. I’ve been hospitalized for psychological reasons twice. Having a degree in psychology and women’s studies, I know the annals and the phenomenology of mental suffering. Through both talk therapy sessions and undergraduate study, I am familiar with coping mechanisms and understand quite a bit about mental illness as a whole. With that said, the knowledge doesn’t necessarily lead to better mental health outcomes for my own struggles. I shouldn’t be drinking at all. In certain traumatic brain injury cases, to consume alcohol is to possibly have a seizure. I also developed blood clots in the hospital and was put on a powerful blood thinner. I’m off that prescription now, but it could have had complications with hard liquor. None of that kept me away from the bottle. I experienced a radical shift. Prior to the injury, I was working overtime hours every week and dating someone I was passionately in love with. He had a key to my apartment after one week of love drunk stupor. Suddenly, I was unemployed and single, my boyfriend breaking up with me in a hospital bed. It was jarring. That particular adjustment was perhaps as traumatic as the injury itself. I had free time and loneliness and ample opportunity for self loathing. Libations were perfect to indulge that stress and sorrow. Got a problem? Pour some plastic jug vodka on it. Let’s Popov off. I mentioned that I had a history of making serious, lasting, and self destructive decisions by drinking prior to March, but I was always able to control myself. I could stop. Now, I can’t. I can consume an entire fifth of eighty to one hundred proof liquor in one evening. If there’s some leftover when I wake up hungover, I drink it that morning. I can’t handle my liquor anymore. I’ve permanently damaged some friendships by sending weird and alarming text messages when I’m blackout drunk. Normally comprised of suicidal ideation, they’re pathetic pleas of “kill me.” Alongside the profound lack of self control, that depth of depression is what’s particularly alarming to me. I don’t want to get sober, but if I keep going like this, I’m going to die. It’ll be at my hand or with a broken bottle. Maybe both. At the least, my liver will fail or I’ll withdraw into delirium tremens or develop Korsakoff’s amnesia. Something. I’ll say again: I don’t want to get sober. However, little of that has to do with alcohol’s effects on my brain and body. Those certainly are factors, but it’s not the bulk of the story. I don’t need a drink to get through the day. It’s fun to be drunk! I like to party. I like relaxing inhibitions, but I don’t need a drink to function. The social and celebratory elements of drinking make it harder to leave behind. I’ve quit abusing other substances in the past because I was almost always using by myself. I like people more than I like drugs. Alcohol is different because that line between people and drugs is blurrier. There’s a distinctly social component to drinking that bears salience to my life. I’m gay. Bars and clubs, the spaces relegated to LGBT people by dominant culture, are centered around the sales and consumption of alcohol. That’s a fact. I’m also a drag queen, who are hired in part to facilitate that commerce. Alcohol was in the room when I first started to meet other gay guys at sixteen. Its omnipresence throughout my gay young adult experiences make it that much more difficult to go without. Booze is sometimes like an old friend; it has been my chaperone for years.

To leave alcohol behind would make me profoundly anxious, thinking that I would be leaving my friends behind too. My community matters to me. If there’s anything that the experience of surviving traumatic brain injury has solidified in my mind, it’s that I matter to my community as well. I’ve made friends in these spaces for years now. The gay bar has been a critical component to my sense of self and I’m terrified to lose that. A friend of mine might read this portion and roll his eyes. He once told me something like “People you party with are not your friends. They’re people you party with.” That may be true, but it’s connection. There’s a multitude of research literature on how social connections lead to better life expectancies and health outcomes. Unhappily married people tend to live longer than content single people for a reason. I don’t know how to mesh sobriety with my network of relationships in the nightlife scene. These people have welcomed me and held me, laughed with me and wept with me. I’ve devoted so much time and energy to drag performances to express my love and gratitude for my community. I don’t want to be without the people I’ve met in part through drinking. I wouldn’t be here without them. At the same time, many people in my nightlife existence know that I have a problem. I went out the other weekend for a going away party. After leaving the club, I went to my friend’s place and had a 2:00 AM conversation with another friend who didn’t accompany us out to the club. He’s mentally ill, but high functioning, and deeply empathetic. We relate. I asked him about our friends’ perception of my alcoholism. He expressed that even before my accident in March, people would notice how drunk I’d get on a regular basis. He said that some people get that drunk “every six months or so.” With me, it was “like every other week.” He went on to comment on my overall melancholy and bleak outlook on life. He said, “Sometimes, when I see you, it’s like you woke up and happiness wasn’t even a possibility.” Being a depressant, alcohol feeds into my psychological dependency for crisis and sorrow. RuPaul asserted that Katya, Brian McCook, had an addiction to anxiety in season seven of RuPaul’s Drag Race. I feel that. I’m realizing just how intensely accustomed I am to feeling depressed. In drag, I’ve rejoiced in sorrow on stage for years. On multiple occasions, I’ve walked into the bar in full drag makeup and the first thing I hear is “what’s wrong?” It’s not even that the glass is half empty. For me, the glass was never there. To be sad is almost comforting in its combination of introspection and self pity. It’s especially affirming when you feel as though you have a right to that lowness. As Bright Eyes once said, “Sorrow is pleasure when you want it instead.” That pleasure has grown old. I want to do more than just survive in spite of crisis. I’ll say this: I don’t know if I’m going to get sober from alcohol. In my recent brief attempts at sobriety, I’ve recognized just how much temperance culture permeates United States media. You’d be challenged to walk down the main street of any major city and not see at least one advertisement for liquor. The push and pull relationship of Puritanical abstinence from indulgence and the American civic duty of reckless consumption is powerful. That relationship is also undeniably profitable. With that said, my pro and con list of continuing to drink is getting grimmer. What I need to do becomes more obvious after each fifth of bottom shelf whiskey, with each morning I wake up hungover, and within each inebriated, suicidal cry for help. To those of you who have been on the receiving end of my substance abuse, I’m sorry. My brother recently found me in my apartment, eyes rolled in the back of my head from drinking to excess. I’ve fallen down stairs at the local gay bar, making an absolute fool of myself. I’ve said alarming, dreadful things in person and online that I regret terribly. In total, I’ve damaged relationships that I’m never going to repair. The problem is when I’m alone. If I’m at the bar and not drinking around you, don’t think it’s completely because of what I’ve expressed here. More than anything, just know that I have a drinking problem. It exists unarguably within and outside the context of my near death experience. I wrote that I was unsure of how to simultaneously be sober and be present at the spaces where I’ve made loving relationships. This is my attempt. Know that I want to be around, but I simply can’t do it like I used to. I need to get sober from alcohol. At the very least, I should. It’s going to be a tall order, but less lethargy and fewer depressive episodes sound fabulous. Thank you.

[myhomeisouterspace]

Let’s Talk [In Memory and...]

Depression has no face. That is something Chester's widow had said in reference to Chester and his battle with depression--and she is absolutely right. Depression has no face. It is just something you see celebrities talk about. It is a mental illness that affects everyone--you and me. By definition: Depression (major depressive disorder or clinical depression) is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks.There are even different forms of depression, which are listed here:

Persistent depressive disorder (also called dysthymia)is a depressed mood that lasts for at least two years. A person diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder may have episodes of major depression along with periods of less severe symptoms, but symptoms must last for two years to be considered persistent depressive disorder.

Postpartum depression is much more serious than the “baby blues” (relatively mild depressive and anxiety symptoms that typically clear within two weeks after delivery) that many women experience after giving birth. Women with postpartum depression experience full-blown major depression during pregnancy or after delivery (postpartum depression). The feelings of extreme sadness, anxiety, and exhaustion that accompany postpartum depression may make it difficult for these new mothers to complete daily care activities for themselves and/or for their babies.

Psychotic depression occurs when a person has severe depression plus some form of psychosis, such as having disturbing false fixed beliefs (delusions) or hearing or seeing upsetting things that others cannot hear or see (hallucinations). The psychotic symptoms typically have a depressive “theme,” such as delusions of guilt, poverty, or illness.

Seasonal affective disorder is characterized by the onset of depression during the winter months, when there is less natural sunlight. This depression generally lifts during spring and summer. Winter depression, typically accompanied by social withdrawal, increased sleep, and weight gain, predictably returns every year in seasonal affective disorder.

Bipolar disorder is different from depression, but it is included in this list is because someone with bipolar disorder experiences episodes of extremely low moods that meet the criteria for major depression (called “bipolar depression”). But a person with bipolar disorder also experiences extreme high – euphoric or irritable – moods called “mania” or a less severe form called “hypomania.”

Depression is not the same for everyone. It is different for each individual who struggles with it. Just so, it happens that Chester Bennington suffered from depression and had been battling it for so long. He fought it as long as he could, but the depression beat him--and he isn’t the only one. There have been stories of people who suffered from depression who have committed suicide, from celebrities like Chester to your average person like your neighbor across the street. However, with just as many sympathizers who know what it feels like to battle a never ending darkness in your head, there are those who simply don’t see depression as a mental disorder. I’ll give you a personal anecdote as an example:I’m twenty-five years old. I have been battling with depression (among other things) for eleven years. Eleven years. My depression was coupled with angry outbursts during school hours because in my family, mental illnesses are considered taboo. Mental illness is something “we don’t talk about” because of the cultural hive mind that mental illnesses are considered a weakness, “trying to get attention”, every dismissal in the book. My only escape was music and it just so happened that I listed to Linkin Park so often with the darkness swirling around in my head. Because of the constant dismissal of mental illnesses like depression in my family, I kept it inside. Listening to the lyrics of the band’s songs resonated so deeply inside of my soul that it felt like Chester was right in front of me and seeing straight into my most private, darkest thoughts that I tried so hard to hide. Even now, I still struggle with explaining that I have depression to my family because for a long time, my own mother refused to see that I needed help. I had tried to commit suicide three separate times within the span of a year, trying to overdose on my pain medications so I could not wake up the next day and finally, finally, be at peace.The only reason I’m still alive is because I made myself go and see a therapist as soon as I was old enough to work and use my own money to pay for it. It is expensive, yes, but for the sake of helping me cope and deal with my own monsters, I’m willing to pay the price that my family has denied me. This brings me to the next part of depression: the suicidal ideations. When people suffering from suicidal ideations talk about killing themselves, do not say stupid shit like “suicide is selfish” and any other thoughtless thing. Suicidal ideations is just as real as depression and should be taken seriously. Do not invalidate the sufferer. Those who suffer from suicidal ideations, whether they see the action to its conclusion or not, feel that their loved ones would be better off without them. The action that many who don’t understand would call “selfish”, the sufferer’s mind believes this will be the most selfless act because they’re thinking of their loved ones. Suicidal ideation symptoms include:

feeling or appearing to feel trapped or hopeless

feeling intolerable emotional pain

having or appearing to have an abnormal preoccupation with violence, dying, or death

having mood swings, either happy or sad

talking about revenge, guilt, or shame

being agitated, or in a heightened state of anxiety

experiencing changes in personality, routine, or sleeping patterns

consuming drugs or more alcohol than usual, or starting drinking when they had not previously done so

engaging in risky behavior, such as driving carelessly or taking drugs

getting their affairs in order and giving things away

getting hold of a gun, medications, or substances that could end a life

experiencing depression, panic attacks, impaired concentration

increased isolation

talking about being a burden to others

psychomotor agitation, such as pacing around a room, wringing one's hands, and removing items of clothing and putting them back on

saying goodbye to others as if it were the last time

seeming to be unable to experience pleasurable emotions from normally pleasurable life events such as eating, exercise, social interaction, or sex

severe remorse and self criticism

talking about suicide or dying, expressing regret about being alive or ever having been born

Depression, like many mental illnesses, must be discussed in seriousness. Don’t ever dismiss the conversation because you believe it doesn’t affect you. You may not be the sufferer, but someone you love could be.