#because surely the cool red dragons parade had to be more interesting than 'Guess What Countries Border Venezuela. Isnt This Fun?'

[butterknifves]

What is youre favorite fact about Venezuela?

gotta be the dancing devils of yare. look at these absolute beasties

who else is doing it like this

[incorrectjiiquotes]

Fast Food Blues

AO3 Link: (In the replies, since Tumblr hates links)

This is the first in the line of incorrect quote fics. I hope you enjoy it!

Nesenir had suffered through thousands of ignominies in the past few months. His greatest power source was stolen right from under him. He had to deal with a petty thief as an ally. And worst of all he had to actually do physical work rather than just being a manipulator in the shadows. But this. This had to be the worst one of them all. He was working at a fast-food restaurant with one of his worst enemies as his co-worker and sole companion through the horrible journey that was working this hellish job.

The road that led him to this was a short one. He had run out of money. This occurred a long time ago, when he found out that he could easily just scare whoever he wanted into giving him whatever he wanted. But with his powers drained he could barely scare a mouse much less a well-seasoned shopkeeper. He knew he had to do something about this tragic situation when he had to wear the same outfit twice. It truly was the worst days of his life.

He stood at the cash register staring emptily at the store front. There weren’t many customers at this time, so it was just him, his thoughts, and the mindless pop music that corporate demanded they play at all times. At least he wished that was all it was. “Sure, is slow right now isn’t it?” Figment, the dragon who shouldered at least the third of the blame for Nesenir’s situation, asked him.

“It sure is” Nesenir didn’t really want to start a conversation with him right now. He couldn’t even understand why Figment was working here. There wasn’t a single good reason that Figment had to be here. First off, he knew Figment wasn’t in the same desperate money situation that he was in. Plus, Figment was only 8 months old, this had to be a violation of some child labor law. Their manager probably knew about this, but they just didn’t care.

“Did you know that the solar system has 8 planets, and 5 dwarf planets.” Figment said. “Dreamfinder told me that when he was teaching me all about astronomy.”

“That’s interesting.” Nesenir responded. He wanted Figment gone, but he didn’t know how to get rid of him. In the old days of a few months ago, he could have just grabbed Figment teleported him far away and teleported back in only a couple seconds. But now he had to think about some way to get rid of Figment that didn’t involve the use of cool powers. The mention of Dreamfinder did give him an idea though. “Does Dreamfinder and Dr. Channing know that you’re here?”

“Yeah they know I’m here. Dreamfinder said that working would give me good life experience, and Doc said that I could learn some responsibility.” Figment said.

Nesenir internally groaned. Of course, they were fine with Figment working in a fast-food restaurant. Of course, they were. Honestly, there were times where he questioned if they even knew how to care for a kid, especially a dragon kid. “Why are you working here? I just can’t understand it.”

“I was watching SpongeBob and thought that working at a fast-food restaurant would be fun! :D” Figment said.

That was the dumbest reason Nesenir had ever heard anyone say they got a job for. He thought it looked fun on SpongeBob. Of course, working at a fast-food restaurant looked fun on SpongeBob, everything looks fun on SpongeBob. They could make watching paint dry fun on SpongeBob. Also did he really just say “:D” out loud? The endless parade of inanity was continuing. “So, you don’t have to work here if you don’t want to?”

“Right you are!” Figment enthusiastically said.

“So, you choose to work here? Why not leave and go do something else with your time like paint a flower or sing a stupid song?” Nesenir asked.

“Because I want to work here. After all what could be better than serving up smiles?” Figment said.

Nesenir took in a deep breath. Joining a job because you like a cartoon is one thing, but continually quoting it is another. At least he wasn’t singing the Krusty Krab Pizza song or the theme song. This was the only situation that Nesenir would ever respond to Figment’s antics, but only because it perfectly encapsulated how he felt. “Being dead or anything else.”

Figment beamed at the fact that Nesenir had actually quoted SpongeBob. Nesenir did not want this moment to be happening. He wanted anything to save him from this horrible nightmare that he was now living. Fortunately, the bell above the entrance rang. Thank goodness a customer had arrived. He could now have at least a moment’s reprieve from Figment’s nonsense. “Good afternoon, welcome to…” Nesenir stopped in his tracks when he saw who it was. “No… no… not you”

Before him stood a black and white cat wearing a little red bowtie with a mischievous smile on his face. Of all the people that could have come while Nesenir was working, this cat was the one he wanted to see the least. “Nouilles!” Figment exclaimed. Well at least he was happy to see Nouilles.

“Why are you here, Nouilles?” Nesenir asked.

“I just wanted to see how my friend was faring at his new job. Is that so bad?” Nouilles asked.

“Awww, that’s so nice of you!” Figment said.

Nouilles was barely tolerable at the best of times, but this certainly was the worst of times. Him invading Nesenir’s work life was the greatest crime that Nouilles had committed. But what should he have expected from a being who’s entire purpose is to be annoying as he possibly could? “No, no that’s not nice of him. That’s not even why he’s here.”

“Well, then why’s he here?” Figment asked.

“He’s here to mock me.” Nesenir said.

Nouilles put his paw up to his chest. “You think that I’m here to insult you? That’s so rude. All I want to do is help.”

He really was pulling out all the stops to be annoying. And now he’s claiming to be helping. Just like him. When Nesenir asked for tips on how to pick-pocket and be a cat burglar in general he wasn’t any help. In fact, because of his lack of help Nesenir was now stuck working at this stupid job. “How in the Realms are you helping?”

“I’m just offering some moral support” Nouilles said.

“C’mon Nez don’t be so mean. He just wants to help you.” Figment said.

“No, don’t fall for his stupid innocent act. I know this cat. He acts all innocent when really he’s the most guilty person in the room.” Nesenir said. “Also don’t call me Nez.”

“It would be better if you had more faith in me…” Nouilles looked at Nesenir’s name tag, and a smirk grew on his face. If that cat was about to say what Nesenir thinks he said he had another thing coming. “Lechacim.”

That’s it. Nesenir could not handle this cat’s antics anymore. “I just remembered that it was corporate policy to not allow animals in the dining area.” He grabbed the spray bottle filled with water under the counter. “So, get out.”

He began to spray it at Nouilles. Nouilles sprinted around trying desperately to avoid the streams of water. He jumped up on a nearby table, arched his back and puffed up as much as he could “Hiss”

“Don’t hiss at me you overgrown furball. Get out of here.” Nesenir was still firing the spray bottle rapid fire. Figment practically teleported in front of the spray bottle’s stream.

“Nez! Don’t be mean to him! Let him stay.” Figment had gone to Nouilles’s side. He looked up at Nesenir and began to do the dreaded puppy dog eyes.

Even if Nesenir hated Figment’s guts he could not say no to him when he did the puppy dog eyes. In fact, there was likely no one in the universe who could say no to Figment’s puppy dog eyes. Figment had managed to successfully weaponize cuteness and Nesenir resented him for that. “Fine. I guess he can stay.” Nesenir dejectedly said.    

“Yay!” Figment exclaimed. And with that Nesenir could tell that this was going to be a very very long shift.

[aweebwrites]

Celestial Influence Pt4

(@thelucariosfish Listen. Listen. I love you so much my amazing beta friend and I'll be bugging you every other day with fics! Thank you!)

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

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"I don't know. I was just thinking it's better than sticking around Ninjago. No matter how far inland and away from the public we go, there's always some collateral damage." Cole says, swinging his legs over the edge of the Bounty from where they were parked in the middle of Hiroshi's Labyrinth. "There's literally a just as big, unpopulated continent just across the water. Nobody will be hurt there!" He says with a grin, looking back at Zane who was watching Lloyd and Jay tutor Kai and Nya on the basis of their new powers.

The parts they figured out at least.

"It sounds like a good idea in theory but don't forget the Dark Island has dark matter and we don't know how we would react to it." Zane pointed out. "And frankly, I would rather not find out. Not to mention the Dark Island is uncharted territory. Who knows what unleashing our powers there would do? And besides-"

"Ok, Ok. Dark Island: bad idea." Cole interrupts and Zane nods. "But then why not park the Bounty in the middle of the Endless Sea?" He asked, hopping down from off the railing.

"For one, the ship will run out of fuel in the sky and the Endless Sea is filled with Starteeth that would devour it." Zane reminded him. "And before you mention Nya, she's still getting used to her powers. She also doesn't control the Starteeth. Just water." He says and Cole sighed and nodded.

"Yeah. Figured." He says, watching as Nya conjured two orbs of water and brought them together then lengthened it, the water hardening and forming a trident made of the same material Jay's nunchucks were made of except hers had a spiral of everflowing, glowing blue water along the staff of it.

"Woah… Cool…" Nya whispered, lowering to her feet as her glow left her eyes and skin.

"Awww I can't summon my weapons as yet…" Kai pouts, watching her.

"Because you're trying too hard dummy." Jay says, wacking him over his head with his nunchucks.

"Ow! That hurt!" Kai growled, glaring at the lightning ninja who only looked at him amused.

"It was supposed to hurt, dummy." Jay says drily and Kai glared, hair lighting up red orange as his eyes and skin glowed.

"I'll show you what's supposed to hurt you-"

"Woah!" Kai looked over at Cole confused then followed his line of sight to his hands then blinked.

He held up one of the two flaming katanas he held in hand, looking over it in awe. He won't lie, he was a little disappointed when they weren't made of gold like Lloyd's. They were made of the same materials as the others' weapons with retreating flames from the blades themselves. Even though it wasn't made of gold, it was sleek, professionally weighted and the fire decals in the material itself was superb. He would be jealous of whoever had the skills to make this if he wasn't the one to create it.

"Nice." Kai whispered then gave both a twirl before they settled snugly in his hands.

"Best yet, you can call them at will." Lloyd says and they watched as his golden sword vanished in a flare of green once he let go.

"Cool." Kai says then let go of his swords, watching them vanish in a flare of fire. "I mean, how cool is this?! We can fly! No dragons, no Airjitzu!" He grinned, levitating off the ground.

"A girl can get used to this." Nya says, gliding by on her back.

"The danger aside, it's really fun. You wanna see what I found out I can do on the way here?" Jay says excitedly, peaking everyone's interest.

"Sure." Zane says on their behalf and Jay beamed then settled.

They all watched him for a while, the longer he took, the more confused they were. The only thing happening was the light breeze blowing by.

"Isn't it cool?!" He beamed after a while, confusing them even more.

"What's cool? You didn't do anything." Nya says, voicing their confusion.

"Wh- Fine. I'll do it a little more aggressively." Jay huffed then raised his hand.

"Woah!" Cole and Zane yelled as they were almost blown off the Bounty Zane quick to grab the railing then Cole.

“I got yah," Kai says, taking Zane's hand and pulling them back on board without any signs of struggle under their combined weight.

"We get it Jay, you can stop now." Nya says and Jay blinked, the winds stopping before he grinned sheepishly.

"Ah… I got carried away." He says, scratching the back of his head.

"You can put me down now, Kai." Zane says drily, still being held off the ground by his arm by the fire elemental.

"Oops. Sorry. You weigh nothing so I kinda forgot." Kai says sheepishly, setting him down.

"On the contrary, I weigh 188.48 pounds. You just happen to be stronger." Zane says and Kai looked down at his hands.

"Huh," was all he said.

"And not to rain on your parade but isn't showing off a bad thing?" Cole pointed out, trying his best not to feel jealous but he couldn't help it.

'Maybe but it should be enough to push your limits and set off your powers so we can get it out of the way…' Lloyd projected to all but the earth and ice elementals. 'Turn things up a notch. Anything specific you know will get under their skins? Anything that'll make them want this power too?' He asked them as Zane looked at them, confused by their sudden silence.

'I think I've noticed something.' Nya thought, then turned to Zane.

"It's super cool how it opened up our understanding too. I mean, haven't you noticed Jay actually sounds like he knows what he's talking about recently?" Nya pointed out and Jay looked offended.

"Excuse you, I always know what I'm talking about." Jay huffed, looking away.

"Sure you do buddy." Kai says, patting his shoulder then yelped as Jay shocked him through his arm.

"Stronger, faster, better." Lloyd shrugged and he knew those words made an impact when Zane's face went blank and Cole looked pained.

He hated hurting them like this but it was necessary. Either now when they're ready to deal with it or later when they weren't. All four watched Zane and Cole cautiously, on alert and ready to jump into action. Moments passed… And nothing happened. Zane looked up at them.

"... You've been trying to trigger us on purpose." He spoke and they deflated, realising that they failed.

"Yeah. I thought it would be best to get it out of the way now that there's four of us to take things on. Guess we can forget that idea." Lloyd shrugged.

"... It worked." Cole says quietly and the four only had a moment to blink before everything went to hell.

They were flung off the ship by an icy blast, the force extending beyond them and freezing the trees around them, making them shatter like glass as the force flung them through it. Nya righted herself first, summoning her trident on reflex, only to stare on, mouth open in shock.

"Uh… Maybe taking them both on at once isn't the best idea…" She says as Jay, Lloyd and Kai joined her.

"... Holy shit." Kai whispered, staring in horror as the land began to split widely, revealing lava that instantly froze under the powerful cold emitting from where they were hoping the Bounty still was.

They could hardly tell through the thick blizzard swirling around where it should be. The sea was frozen solid, all the way down to the sea bed as the crack revealed, splitting it in two as well. Lloyd looked up at the night sky just barely visible through the rapidly expanding blizzard.

"That crack isn't stopping and the temperature is only getting colder. The blues from my thermal vision is starting to look black." Kai warned, eyes glowing red with slitted eyes blown wide.

He then blinked and they returned to normal.

"What do we do Lloyd?" Jay asked him as they hovered, their powers activated and waiting to be unleashed.

Lloyd looked everything over, thinking quickly.

"Ok. Nya, Kai. You two travel ahead of the crack, make sure no-one is in its path," Lloyd told them and they nodded and took off. "Jay, you take Cole. I'll take Zane." He says and Jay nods before they both flew into the blizzard, coming out to where the Bounty was, still intact and held on a column of rock.

Frozen but intact. There were both Zane and Cole, eyes glowing light blue and yellow-orange respectively. But they noticed something around them the closer they got to the two. Lloyd and Jay stopped before them, staring at the space between them in shock. Lloyd prodded the large snowflake that completely stopped moving mid air.

"Holy cannoli! Zane-!" Jay sputtered, looking around at the mass of stilled snowflakes. "Did Zane just freeze time?!" He yelled, looking at Lloyd wide-eyed, the green, glowing depths of Lloyd's own eyes mimicking Jay's.

"Woah, that's amazing Zane!" Lloyd says, looking towards him.

"I'm glad you think so." Zane spoke then gripped his head where his hair turned white, glowing light blue flecks dotting throughout it, moving even. "But how do I stop?!" He asked urgently, trying and failing to contain his powers.

The markings on his hands and face were more digitized, consisting of rays and line segments, pulsing with the glowing light blue energy he felt rushing through him.

"Uh. I'm at a loss. Usually, this is the point where you guys are-"

"You're literally right there and I still can't do anything!" Cole says, gritting his teeth, sadly reminding them that he was still there.

The swirls on his cheeks looked more like cracks as his hair took on the same yellow orange colour as his eyes from the middle down, appearing to be cracking ikto the colour between the roots of his hair to the middle. Even his arm and the formerly ghostly scar over his left eye glowed with it.

"Like that." Jay finished though quietly.

"I really am the most useless ninja!" Cole yelled and- yeah going by the rumbling that started up again, his effects were surpassing the laws of time.

"No, you aren't." Zane faced him as Lloyd and Jay looked at each other, wondering what they should do.

"Oh yeah?! Then name one thing I've done other than stand aside like some kind of jackass!" Cole snarled at Zane viciously.

"Be our friend." Zane says without hesitation, momentarily stunning Cole. "You don't need to pull off any big, heroic act to have value to us. And even so, we're ninja. Heroic is what we do. There's a big difference between doing nothing and knowing you can't help as much as you'd like and letting someone who can take the reigns. You know as well as we do that you would never sit aside and do nothing if you had the power to help." He told him, floating closer.

"But I do have power! I still can't help! I still do nothing!" Cole yelled, frustrated as the land on either side of them kept drifting further and further apart.

"Yes, you do have power. Power that you've just received. Power that you aren't yet able to control. But that's fine! Even without your powers, you helped me." Zane says with a smile. "You helped me realize that it doesn't matter that I'm not organic like you and the others are. You all care for me as I am… Perhaps it's time I stopped doubting, don't you think?" He says happily and Cole blinked at him.

"I swear I'll hug some sense into to your head you idiot! Of course we don't care if you're human or not!" Cole huffed, pulling the Nindroid into a hug.

Zane only laughed as he accepted it, the snowflakes starting to move again as they began to lose their glow. Jay and Lloyd swept in, catching the duo once they passed out as always. They did wince once time went back to normal and Ninjago split open even more rapidly than before then stilling after a minute as several inches of snow poured down. Thankfully that also stopped seconds after and the moon left the sky, allowing the sun to shine weakly.

" … I don't want to know. I really don't but we have to find out just how bad it is." Jay groaned, holding Cole up no problem, the earth ninja's hair holding a glowing streak of the same yellow orange power.

"Yeah. Plus, Nya and Kai may need our help." Lloyd says as he looked down at the perfect streak of white through Zane's titanium hair, an occasional light blue speck passing by.

"Alright. The cold won't bother them so should we leave them here and check it out?" Jay asked him.

"No. Someone has to stay with them for when they wake up. I'll stay. You find Kai and Nya." Lloyd told him, floating over to take Cole as well, holding both of his friends over his shoulders.

"Roger that." Jay says, saluting Lloyd then disappearing in a flash of lightning, thunder following right after.

With that, Lloyd carried the duo below deck, floating the entire way there so he wouldn't slip on the ice.

__________

When Jay appeared, it was to Kai turning up the heat at the source: the sun.

"Jay." Nya says relieved as she walked over, a device in hand.

"They helped each other out without us before you ask. What happened here?" Jay asked as he stood by the frozen sea.

"Plenty." Nya sighed then looked to Kai. "That's good. Any hotter and you'll cause damage while defrosting." She told him and he nodded, focusing on them now.

"Ok. So! We managed to get all the frozen villagers away and on one side." Kai began, placing his hand on his hips. "Thankfully, both people and animals alike should all be ok. Nya says that with proper defrosting, they shouldn't have any damage. Or at least, not too much." He says with a wince.

"Me?" Nya says, gaining their attention. "I have bad news and worse news." She says, tapping the screen of the device she had in hand.

"Oh boy. Let's hear it. In that order." Jay says, nervous now.

"So. The bad news is that literally all of Ninjago is frozen under at least 10 feet of snow that all fell suddenly. Even parts of the Dark Island is frozen too." She says, showing him the extent of the brief chill.

"And that's just the bad news." Jay sighed.

"The worst news is- well. It'll be best if I showed you." Nya says, tapping the screen again and handed over the device to Jay.

Said lightning elemental took a breath before looking at it. At first, he wasn't sure what he was looking at. It took him a solid minute to comprehend that he was looking at Ninjago right now.

"Holy fuck." Jay whispered, staring at the continent they call home.

Continents now. That's right. Ninjago was split into three island continents now. The head of their dragonesque island was at least a few miles away from where it should be. The same for the sides of the body, almost perfectly split in two vertically. Knowing they did a lot of damage was one thing. Actually seeing it was another. It was… Sad to know they did this to their own home. But it wasn't intentional at least and no-one got hurt. That in itself was a miracle.

"At least no-one got hurt…" Jay says, looking up at Kai and Nya who looked solemn.

____________

When Zane came to, the first thing he noted was that he felt different. He remembers everything that happened but he felt… He felt… It was hard to put into words. He just felt… Like more. He lifted his hand, watching as glowing lines traveled up from under the sleeve of his gi, creating a spiral at the back of his hand that was similar to the Borg logo. He looked relatively the same. Yet… He felt like… More. His lack of proper enunciation frustrated him. He still felt like him but it was as if…

As if he was greater than he was. Far more than a simple Nindroid with the ice element. He felt… He focused this new energy, watching as cold mist appeared before his hand then tightened it around a frosted bow. The frost faded, revealing the bow in all it's semi metallic glory. He reached another hand up and held it sparsely, noticing the frost that remained in the middle of the bow where the arrow would rest. Speaking of arrows, he had none. Something tells him they'd come when he needed them.

"Already a pro, huh?" Zane glanced across the room, looking at Cole who was also bed bound.

"Far from it." Zane says as he released the bow, watching it vanish on a flare of blue light. "How are you feeling?" He asked as he sat up.

"Pretty good actually." Cole admits, sitting up. "But I'm not looking forward to hearing what kind of havoc I wrought." He says with a wince.

"Our friends have our back. At least you can rest assured that no-one was injured." Zane says as he stood and Cole smiled, nodding.

They both looked towards the door once footsteps approached. Lloyd opened the door moments after then blinked at them.

"Oh. You're awake. Well the rest of us are on deck if you wanna come up." He says and both earth and ice elemental nodded.

They followed Lloyd up, curious about the grunting they heard. Once they were on deck, they immediately spotted Nya and Kai sparring, fire against water. A plume of hot steam rose up and Jay blew it away with a wave of his hand.

"Steam's nice and all but I'd rather not sweat into my last clean gi." He says then dashed out of the way of Nya's wave of water she sent his way with her trident, laughing unamused.

"Look who's up and about." Kai says, lowering his swords and they looked to Cole and Zane.

"Hey. So, not to bombard you but would you rather chill for a bit, hear the bad news or train your new powers?" Nya asked as Kai used his heat to dry the wet floor.

"Bad news." Both Zane and Cole said together, Zane spotting the huge glaciers of ice floating in the ocean.

"Ok. So! Bad news it is! Lloyd." Kai prompted and Lloyd rolled his eyes with a sigh.

"Alright. Bad news. For one, the whole planet is recovering from a sudden ice age." Lloyd don't miss Zane's wince but he had to continue on. "Temperatures will have to be low for a while. Kai can't warm things up too quickly or else he'll damage the land and its inhabitants. The other bad news is that Ninjago, the solid continent, has become Ninjago, the island continents. Technically it was an island continent before- whatever. The point is it's been split into three. Each piece isn't too far away from the rest of the island but yeah. Sea levels will be low for a while. At least, until we know for sure that we can't fix it." He told them and they looked at him hopefully at that.

"You mean- there's a chance we can fix this?" Cole asked him.

"Well, yeah. We're super OP if you haven't noticed. I think if we gain a better handle on our powers we can try and even succeed to put everything back in order." He told them and they all beamed.

"Then we'll work hard. We all know Ninjago suffers enough as is without us messing things up more." Nya says and they all nodded their agreement.

"Right. Together." Jay says, holding his hand out.

They all looked at each other and shrugged, gathering for a hands in.

"Together!" They yelled together, throwing their hands up, all of them pausing once they noticed their hands glowing.

They looked down at them then watched in awe as the glow traveled over their gi, changing it completely. Cole awed at the brown details that began to crack and give way to the blackness of his new gi, much like the earth he controlled. Jay watched as the glow traveled down his stomach, extending behind him into a long cloak with more electrical details at the back. He gave himself a wince over once the gi was complete then paused.

"No hood or mask? That's weird." He says, looking towards Zane and his snowflake-patterned gi.

"It appears that we won't need it." Zane says, looking himself over. "Though I must say, this is very different from what I am used to." He says, looking back to his friends.

"Very. These don't look very fighting ready. I mean, totally love the effects but the length is bound to get in our way…" Nya says, looking over the sleeves of hers that went from deep blue to light, water droplets merging into it all.

"Then again, with these powers, we won't need to fight as much as we used to." Kai pointed out, loving the fire pattern on his cloak. "A little surprise to see you in gold again Lloyd." He says with a smirk and Lloyd gave a nervous laugh, looking over his gold cloak with green swirls of his energy as he could guess.

"Yeah. Me too. Let's hope this isn't another Overlord thing." He says with a grimace.

"I doubt it but who really knows. I am loving these threads though." Cole says appreciatively, admiring himself and they laughed.

________________

One could imagine the Sensei's shock at seeing what was done to the land his father created, despite being told before he left Cloud Kingdom. It grieved him but he knew that this was beyond the ninja's control, knew that they tried their best. Even though it wasn't necessarily enough. He spoke his head then looked out from the cliff at one end of Hiroshi's Labyrinth. The ninja were in the middle of this vast divide. He could barely make out the Bounty still perched on a pillar of rock. Getting there was the problem. Airjitzu wasn't meant to be used for very long. He would have to-

Wu's thoughts were cut off by a low rumble. He blinked once rocks and soil rose up, slotting together perfectly to create a bridge to the Bounty.

Well.

He started walking across, wondering what awaited him. All of them have unlocked this new power and their futures were theirs. They would have no guidance from the Cloud Kingdom. What they did next was solely up to them… He thinks this was something he should keep to himself.

'A little too late for that Sensei.' He startles once he heard Lloyd's voice directly in his head. 'Sorry. I should have given you a heads up.' He apologised and Wu blinked before continued along the path.

"I see your powers have gotten even stronger than I had anticipated." Wu spoke aloud, not quite used to speaking in his mind.

'Like you wouldn't believe. But we still have a lot to learn. To master.' Lloyd told him amd Wu nods to himself.

"That's expected." He says then continued the rest of the way to the ship in silence.

"Sensei!" They all greeted happily and Wu smiled, taking note of their new uniforms.

"Good to see you all. I take it things are settling down?" Wu asked them as they all gathered excitedly around him.

"More or less. We still have a lot of work to do." Nya says with a shrug.

"I believe now that we've all unlocked this power, mastering it will be the easier part. Lloyd believes once we do, we should have the power to fix the mess of Ninjago we've made." Zane informed him.

"You're looking a little blue, Sensei." Kai says then began radiating warmth.

"Ahh. Much better. Thank you Kai." Wu says, not realising he had gone numb from the cold despite his heavy parka he still wore. "Sadly, I return to you all with no news on what is happening to you all. It is a mystery, even to the Cloud Kingdom. But we mustn't lose hope. This could be a good thing after all." He told them and they nodded.

"I'm definitely starting to think it is." Lloyd says with a smile, looking around at his friends.

"The future looks a little brighter, don't you think?" Kai says with a grin.

"The future looks invisible." Jay says, confusing Kai.

"Huh?" He asked, wondering if Jay had officially lost it.

"You're invisible Kai." Nya pointed out and he looked down at his hands, we nothing there.

"Huh." Was all Kai says and Cole snickered.

Wu watched them all. This may be his biggest challenge yet.

______________________

(I know I promised this yesterday but i waged war with sleep and lost. Twice. I at least got this beta-ed! Also! To make up for the delay, I'll reblog what Kai and Jay's new gi looks like [I can't draw for shit, just a warning]. I hoped you liked it- and brace yourselves for part 5!)

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 113

Now that Emperor Pilaf’s crew is out of the way, King Piccolo can finally get down to business, which is conquering the world.  

Piano tries to brief Piccolo on the current geopolitical situation, but Piccolo just zaps his whole Powerpoint presentation.     I really like Piano as a character, and I’m not entirely sure why, other than that he sort of reminds me of some of Jabba the Hutt’s entourage in Return of the Jedi.    Functionally, he’s probably like Bib Fortuna, but he talks like C-3PO, and he sort of feels like a team mascot, like Salacious Crumb. 

Also, the dynamic between Piano and Piccolo is kind of interesting.    Piano speaks much more candidly to Piccolo than anyone else, indicating that he’s a close and trusted advisor.   Presumably, Piccolo created him just like Tambourine and Cymbal, which means that Piano is exactly what Piccolo wanted him to be.    And yet Piano doesn’t seem to quite fit Piccolo’s plans.   He tries to act like he’s counseling a real king, but Piccolo’s military and domestic policies essentially boil down to “Break Stuff”.   

I think this points to King Piccolo’s defining character trait.  He’s a horrible, merciless villain, sure, but I think what sets him apart from the others is that he’s a bitter outsider who wants to punish everyone on the inside.   That’s why he wants to topple the legitimate king and usurp his throne.   The Red Ribbon Army was content to establish their own power base someplace else, but Piccolo wants the recognition.   He wants people to know that he’s part of their society--the top part-- whether they like it or not.   

So with that ambition comes this attitude that he has to make himself look and feel like a real king.    That’s why he surrounds himself with advisors like Piano, that’s why he sits on a throne, and that’s why he wants to move into King Castle.   I don’t think any of these things actually helps him accomplish his goals, but when your goal is basically “Break Stuff”, I guess it doesn’t matter.   King Piccolo doesn’t isn’t really interested in the final outcome of his reign, just so long as he gets to have authority that he can abuse.

As the pair cruise into the city surrounding King Castle.... You know, I’m just gonna go back to calling it “King’s Castle”.   Funimation added the possessive, and I’m starting to see why.   It just sounds better that way.

Anyway, it’s the 20th anniversary of King Furry’s reign, so there’s a big celebration with fireworks and a parade and so on. 

A lot of this episode is designed to set up King Furry as a counterpoint to Piccolo.    He’s everything Piccolo isn’t: modest, peace-loving, a dedicated public servant.

The catch is that King Furry’s record sort of contradicts a lot of the lawlessness we’ve seen in Dragon Ball leading up to his introduction.   Characters like the Ox King, the Red Ribbon Army, and Mercenary Tao seem to be able to do whatever they please.  I’ve always interpreted this to man that KIng Furry may officially rule the entire world, but he has a hard time enforcing his policies in the periphery of his kingdom.  

To be sure, I don’t expect King Furry to be perfect.   It’s likely that the world was a lot worse off before he assumed power, and the peace and prosperity his subjects are celebrating is a relative thing.    I just find it odd that the Red Ribbon Army was a Big Problem just three years ago, and everyone in this episode is acting like that never happened.

Meanwhile, in the Land of Korin, Goku’s planning to seek help from Korin at the top of Korin Tower.   But he’s all beat up, so Bora suggests that he rest for a few days before making the climb.  But Goku can’t wait, so he says Yajirobe will take him up.    Yajirobe refuses, until Goku tells him that there’s Senzu at the top of the tower, and it’s “Wizard Food”.

This leads Yajirobe to imagine a cereal mascot making giant food items appear out of thin air.   See, this right here is what all those Harry Potter movies should have looked like.   How hot would that be?   Dumbledore fights Voldemort, and they just keep trying to crush each other under giant pizzas and hot dogs.

Bora offers to help the boys out by doing a Fastball Special.   Only it’s even cooler than a Fastball Special because he’s gonna throw two people straight up.

I can’t believe Dragon Ball topped Harry Potter AND the X-Men in this one episode.   Well, actually, I can totally believe it.   This show rules.   Yajirobe grabs Goku’s butt, and Bora grabs Yajirobe’s butt, and we’re off to the races.

Of course, the animators sneak in plenty of upskirt shots of Yajirobe.   Wotta buncha perverts.

Once they’re as high as they can get, Yajirobe starts climbin’, crying out ORAORAORA as he goes.   Wow, a JoJo reference too.   This episode has everything.

Back at King’s Castle... uh... City?   Kingscastletown?  Castle City?   I think I’m gonna start calling it that.

Why are all these soldiers wearing pink?   I mean, they look all right, but they have a real ice cream truck vibe to them.     This makes me wonder if ice cream trucks in this town are Hum-vees driven by army guys in pixelated cookie-dough camo.    That’d be pretty badass.

So Piccolo’s ready to start invadin’.   First thing he does is T-Pose for dominance, and then he drops right on down on King’s Castle.

This guy at the gate tells him he can’t go in, and he has a gun, so Piccolo gives up and leaves.   And that’s the end of the story!   Kind of anticlimactic, but it’s a pretty daring way to wrap up a saga like this.   I think the moral here is--

Just kidding, Piccolo stone cold murders all the guards and just wanders through the castle at will.   Also, Piano finds a bag of chips next to some guy’s corpse and just picks it up like a crow.   This show is amazing.

Meanwhile, Master Roshi and Chiaotzu are still dead.

I feel like Tien’s sort of wasting time here.  I guess the last couple of episodes have taken place in roughly real-time, so it’s been maybe about twenty minutes since Piccolo made his wish?   That’s kind of nuts when you think about it.   But it feels like TIen’s been standing around all week.

The rest of Dragon Team finally arrives, and thank goodness Yamcha’s changed out of his blue tank top and short-shorts.   That outfit looked terrible on him.   Launch, of course, is still wearing her cool outfit from the Tien Saga, because you don’t want to mess with perfection.

So, just to be clear, Master Roshi is dead....

And Chiatozu is dead. 

Yamcha tells Tien that they need to team up to beat Piccolo.  Okay, time out, fantasy booking time.   What if they really did team up, and somehow they found out about the fusion dance, and King Piccolo met his match in... Tiencha!?

Like, TIencha would just instantly master the Mafuba, because he has Tien’s firsthand knowledge of the technique, combined with Yamcha’s ability to improvise moves like the Kamehameha and Spirit Ball.    But he’d be like, no.   No, this King Piccolo dude needs to pay.    So he’d wear him down with some Dodohamehas, and then polish him off with the Wolf Fang Volleyball Fist.    Then he’d cross his arms and shout “The Power of Tiencha!”

Then Tiencha would be made the new king.   Yamcha and Tien would rule jointly, but they’d use the fusion dance before making any important decisions. 

But no, we can’t do anything super mega awesome like that.  Instead, Tien wants to go off by himself and master the Mafuba on his own.   Yamcha offers to learn it with him...

But Tien tells him it would be impossible for Yamcha, since he’s never seen the move performed.  Well neither did Mutaito when he invented it, and so far he’s the only one who ever executed it successfully.

So Tien flies off on his own, leaving Launch to get all a-flutter over his stoic heroism.  Look, I get what they’re going for here.   This is Tien’s redemption arc, and Yamcha would just be in the way.   But this is a really dumb play.   Basically, Tien’s setting himself up to make the same mistake Master Roshi made.   Even if Yamcha doesn’t stand a chance of learning the Mafuba, he could still help in other ways, and if nothing else, he could be there when Tien tries it, and then if things don’t work out, he’ll finally have firsthand knowledge of the technique, so he can learn it himself.

Back at the parade, King Furry receives flowers from little girls from different parts of the world.   One of them is Suno from the Red Ribbon Army Saga.   I think this is the first time her hometown is called “Jingle Village”, and I really wish they had used that name back when I needed it.

Unfortunately, Piccolo blows up a bunch of heavy artillery at the castle, and the explosions finally disrupt the celebration, spoiling Suno’s big moment.

In hindsight, it probably would have been better to call off the rest of the celebration, but this guy in white only got word that a lone intruder was a the castle, and he thought tanks would be enough to stop him, so he decided not to interrupt the ceremony.   It was the wrong call, but I can’t blame the guy, since none of them had any idea what they were dealing with.   Now that he does know, he suggests King Furry leave the area immediately.

Furry really doesn’t want to do that, although he’s wise enough to know that his security chief is right.   Piccolo came her to get Furry, so if he can escape the city, there’s at least a chance Piccolo will follow him instead of hurting anyone else.

Meanwhile this huge dude tries to buy them some time.   From the dialogue, I get the impression that he’s the guy on the security detail they call when conventional weapons don’t work.    So at least King Furry’s staff recognizes that there are fighters in the world strong enough to resist tanks and guns.    It sort of makes me wonder why anyone still bothers with tanks and guns, though.   

Piccolo offers the guy a job, but he’s not interested.   It says a lot about King Furry that these guys are willing to lay down their lives for him, even against a foe this powerful.   This whole part of the saga feels like an inversion of Goku’s assault on Red Ribbon Headquarters, only now it’s a villain no-selling a bunch of good guys with guns.   But unlike the Red Ribbon soldiers, these guys are motivated by honor and loyalty, rather than denial and fear.  

To be sure, a couple of other guards see Piccolo kill this dude and they run away, but at this point, I’d say it’s the smart call.   There’s nothing left to defend here but an empty castle, and they’re way out of their league.    All they’d accomplish by staying is to die.

Unfortunately, Piano spots King Furry making his escape.

And it doesn’t take long for Piccolo to catch him.

Elsewhere, a kid asks his mom if there’s anyone who can stop Piccolo.

Suno knows someone.   

Yeah, Goku’s gonna come back and tear Piccolo apart.   You just wait and see.  

He just needs a little time to get his shit together.   Hang in there, world.