#because nobody gives him valentines really and he'll take the thought over anything

[gumpistol]

hc + insecurity

hc + insecurity ( reading literacy )

   first and foremost, there is very little that luffy feels insecure about, which is made clear by the way he regularly acts. he says and does things without thinking, without care for what other people think, and without concern of the consequences any actions might be. he is confident in his strength, in his crew and friends, and in his ability to achieve his dream. luffy has and always will move to the beat of his own drum, he is a free spirit, free from even caring about the opinions of others ... mostly. 

   if there's a skill that luffy lacks, and something that he would feel insecure or unsure about, it's his reading literacy level. luffy lacks a proper education even at the most basic elementary level. he never went to school and definitely never had a private tutor. any reading skills he was taught early on were mostly from makino during his time in foosha village, or from attempts made by garp to teach him. however, garp likely lost patience in doing this frequently, because if there's another thing that posed as barrier for luffy in learning, it was his own inability to pay attention and sit still ( due to adhd, which is something i will go into at a different time ).

   that being said, luffy's reading level is very low, likely no higher than a 2nd or 3rd grade level ( by U.S. standards ). he can manage to read some text if very determined to, but most of the time he won't bother because it frustrates him. additionally, any sort of reading in front of other people causes him stress and embarassment — though he would struggle to identify it as such. thus, because it's a negative emotion that he doesn't enjoy, he will just avoid feeling it altogether.

   what does this look like? well if someone tries to hand him reading material, he'll probably just brush it off with a "nah, i don't want to do that, it's boring." or if it's a newspaper of any sort, he'll just say he doesn't care about it. which honestly? he probably doesn't unless it has something to do with people he cares about. on some occassions he may pretend to very briefly read something, but more often than not, he'll just pass it off to another person, because he's "distracted" or more interested in something else.

   luffy has gotten very good at hiding that he can't read well. though, he's not even actively trying to hide it most times. he doesn't like how frustrated it makes him or that it makes his head hurt or that to do it in front of people makes it that much worse, so he just treats it like an acivity he doesn't care about. but he also won't just go telling people that he struggles with reading, in the same way that he doesn't really talk about his past and childhood.

   so that brings me to who would know about luffy's actual literacy level and how they know. pretty much anyone present during luffy's childhood on dawn island is aware, because they saw how he was educated ( or not educated ) growing up — namely garp, ace, sabo, makino, dadan, shanks, etc. as for the rest of the straw hats? they all know. yup. luffy does a good job of hiding it, but when you live with him everyday on a ship, there are patterns that get picked up on. so yes, they all know, but no one says anything about it and neither does luffy. they all fell into a routine of reading and/or summarizing things for him if he shows interest or gives them something that he decided wasn't worth trying to read ( like very nice notes from certain very tall blonde mime-lookin guys ). there is also the possibility that law knows too, thanks to an extended period spent aboard the sunny, but other than that, pretty much everyone will be made to think that luffy just finds reading laaaaaame.

@ferromagnetiic / hc + a word prompt

[linskywords]

Taylor Swift Meets Hockey RPF: Advent Calendar Day 24

The 2nd ficciest Taylor Swift song of all time is…

Song: I’d Lie Album: Unreleased Year: 2006 Lyrics: https://taylorswift.fandom.com/wiki/I%27d_Lie#Lyrics Ficciness Rank: #2

Okay, so this one is probably actually a deep cut. If you’re following along with the playlist, you might notice this isn’t in it, because it was never actually released and (as I realized to my great surprise when I started working on this ranking) Spotify doesn’t have it. I’m not actually sure why a studio recording exists? But it does, and it’s SO FICCY. It’s the passenger seat from “Fearless” times a thousand:

I don't think that passenger seat Has ever looked this good to me He tells me about his night And I count the colors in his eyes He'll never fall in love He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong And I don't think it ever crossed his mind He tells a joke, I fake a smile But I know all his favorite songs

Is this not a tortured closeted gay boy pining for his seemingly straight teammate? You don’t need to answer because it obviously is.

Here I go, about to quote almost every lyric from this song:

He looks around the room Innocently overlooks the truth Shouldn't a light go on? Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long? He sees everything in black and white Never let nobody see him cry I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine …And if you ask me if I love him I'd lie

It’s a secret love that feels glaringly obvious and needs to stay totally hidden at the same time. It’s a guy walking through his locker room and feeling like everyone must be able to tell that he’s different and somehow also feeling that they’ll never be able to see who he really is. Praying to be noticed and wanting desperately to hide. It’s the agony of being closeted on an NHL team.

But this friendship with his teammate–it’s wonderful and unbearable, real and solid and yet with this huge secret at the middle of it. Our main character takes in every detail about him as precious and wants that to mean something about what their relationship is, as if he can memorize his way into this guy loving him back.

Fortunately, because it’s fic, he doesn’t need to.

Pairing I’d assign to this song: I’m gonna say Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl. Connor is our piner here. He’s so incredibly visible, the highest-profile player of the current decade, everyone sees him–but he can only see Leon. He’s terrified that someone will see him looking, and at the same time, how is it possible no one’s noticed? How is it possible Leon hasn’t noticed? Connor feels like he’s breaking the rules in plain sight every day, and he can’t decide if it’s glaringly obvious and Leon’s just not saying anything to be polite or if he’s really managing to keep this a secret from everyone he knows. Which is almost worse–he doesn’t want anyone to see, obviously, but how is it possible that he’s dying inside and no one can tell?

He manages to hold it together until February, when the Oilers do a retro Valentine’s Day celebration for Instagram where the players give each other those cards from elementary school (note: this sounds awesome, and a hockey team should do this). Connor finds a note in his on folded-up notebook paper: “Do you like Leon? Y/N” with little boxes next to the Y and N. Connor manages to hide it from the camera while he has a full-on freakout about someone knowing his secret. He thought he wanted to be seen but it turns out he DOES NOT. He’s self-conscious every time he’s around anyone from the team. He starts avoiding Leon, not looking at him except when absolutely necessary, and he can tell Leon’s noticed and is hurt by it but Connor just cannot deal. Finally Leon manages to corner him and invites him over, and Connor feels bad enough about all the avoiding he’s been doing that he says yes. At least if they’re at Leon’s place no one else will be watching Connor’s reactions. He gets there, and Leon seems unusually nervous. “So,” he says once he and Connor are sitting on the couch, looking at the TV screen, “I guess you didn’t like my note?”

Lyrics to title this story: Holding Every Breath For You

Masterpost Playlist

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